One Soul Condemned To Heaven and Hell
by Emono
Summary: Sam meets an interesting young man, and soon finds out that these actors are more than they appear to be. Two worlds collide, real life and fantasy. Slash, violence, smutlicious, serious plot. Full summary inside. Sam/Jared; Dean/Jensen; Castiel/OMC
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven and Hell {1-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam Winchester/Jared Padalecki, Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Summary**: Sam meets an interesting young man, and soon finds out that he and one Jensen Ackles are more than mere actors. As they find their lives entwined, more secrets are revealed and sacrifices must be made. Castiel must help the best he can, but not even John Winchester could see the fate the boys have laid out for themselves since birth. Can Sam keep control? Can Jensen keep Dean happy? Can Castiel deal with the sin he has laid out for himself? Can the world handle the joined power of J2 and The Winchester brothers?  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, takes place Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, violence, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: My first Supernatural fic! *squee* Now I'm going to jump between flashbacks and present during the first three chapters, try to stay with me. It's probably going to get very confusing, because I started it six months after the story should technically start. Crap, how do I explain this…

**VERY IMPORTANT:  
**Dean has just got back from Hell, but John Winchester is still alive. Azazel is still out there, and John's still hunting him. The first seal was broken in Hell by Dean and a few are still in the process of being broken by Lilith, but all those really seriously evil demons are only released on Azazel's death (so nothing more dangerous than a few Chimera, Faerie, and some werewolves are on Earth.) This is around 2005 time period. Jared is finishing up his stunt on _House of Wax_ and his _Gilmore Girls_ thing has just ended. Jensen is finished with _Devour_ and is wrapping up his _Smallville_ stint. Yes, I know _Supernatural_ started around that time, but this is an AU. For argument's sake, let's say Sam is 27 and Dean is 31, which makes their counterparts the same age (think Jensen from _Dark Angel_ and Jared from the Pilot episode with their Season 4 character selves) Ruby and Sam were only together about three times, he despises her actually. Google says Jared Padalecki's eye color is blue/green, so be it. But Sam's eyes are hazel, and go black when he uses his powers. Did I mention this was a severe AU?)

* * *

Dean awoke to a low noise, the TV was on. He blinked dully down into off-white sheets, a little more than agitated at being woken up at…Dean turned his head to see the clock. It was around eight…what the hell was on at _eight _in the morning?! It better be porn, and it better be free.

Dean sat up enough to turn and look, finding Sam sitting like a little kid in front of the TV. Legs crossed, hands folded, eyes set on the screen intently. The older man didn't have to observe this long before he realized what was on the TV, and immediately let loose a bark of laughter.

Sam jerked, scrambling forward to change the channel. But it was too late, Dean saw.

"You really couldn't get any _more_ gay, could you?" Dean laughed so hard it nearly made him breathless, the flush on his brother's cheek "Seriously, man? _Gilmore Girls_?"

"Shut up, Jerk" Sam turned it to the news and kept it there, absolutely sulking.

Dean just laid back down, and with a barely contained snort he fell into sleep.

Sam double-checked, making sure that his brother was snoring again before flipping it back to the show.

()()()

Sam typed away rapidly on his keyboard, then clicked and searched some more. His eyes were bloodshot and strained, but he kept his lips pursed in a thin line. Dean was on one of the two beds he had claimed as his own, smirking triumphantly at once again having provoked his little brother. He sharpened one of his favored knives, the metal warming beneath his touch.

Dean scoffed, "Haven't you found anything _yet_?"

"Give me a minute" Sam's voice was hoarse, but he said no more to give himself away. The last thing he wanted to do was encourage more talking, especially so soon after a fight.

Sam scribbled down a few things about vengeful medieval witches. It was harder than you would think, most of those badass babes went underground around the 18th century. One had sprung up, terrorizing a high school in New Eden, Montana. The bitch was doing it for fun, levitating desks and knocking students down flights of stairs. But they couldn't even start for her until they knew what they were up against.

"Oh, quit being a bitch about this" Dean's previous triumphant grin was now a grimace of annoyance "If you'd just lighten up-"

"What's there to lighten up?" Sam snapped "My only brother thinks I'm a burden!"

"I didn't say it like that, I didn't mean…" Dean's voice was gentle, but it hardened once he realized he had nothing to apologize for "You know what, Sam? At the moment, you _are_ lagging me. Let's forget the whole "_I gave my soul and went to Hell for you_" thing, just for second. I let this brooding shit go for a while, cause yeah…you lost some people and some fucked up shit has happened to you. But you're not alone. And to start this shit again…well fuck you, man."

"You're blowing this wait out of proportion!" Sam countered, disbelief etched in his eyes "What you said was completely out of line!"

"Whatever" Dean stood, strapping on his knife before grabbing his coat "I meant what I said earlier, after the vampires were done? If you ever fuckin' hesitate again, I'll leave you. You're no use to me terror-stricken, I thought you were over all that shit. So suck it up Sammy, or go home."

"_You're_ my home, Jerk" Sam pointed out, though he was fighting off embarrassing tears "You know that."

"You know what I mean, man" Dean glared, then slipped on his coat and started towards the door "You're fuckin' depressing. I'm gonna go out, prowl for some warmer company."

Sam attempted a jab, "I'm the only company you can keep who will put up with you for more than a night."

"Bitch" Dean turned, casting his brother a filthy look "Go out and get laid, bro. You're too edgy, it's like all you do it jitter around."

"Maybe I need something more than a one night fling, huh?" the blonde snapped "What if I'm waiting for something long term?"

Jade eyes flashed with something akin to understanding, "Then you're in the wrong profession, Sammy."

Then Dean was gone, an owl out into the night.

Sam closed his laptop with a growl, all but tossing it onto the table between the two queen beds.

It was times like this that made him regret going with Dean that day, father missing or not. Sometimes he wished he would have told his brother to go fuck himself and slammed the door in his face. Sometimes he wished he would have stayed in college, honed his law skills, joined a firm. Become slick and savvy, have a wife and 2.5 kids. A white picket fence, a dog or two, the whole she-bang.

_No_…

Instead Sam had a supernatural life. Filled with graves, ghosts, and ghouls that all wanted to kill him. He had a grumpy older brother to deal with, who mood-swinged between happy/broody/angry/lustful without a milliseconds notice. A brother he almost never saw at night, since Dean would find a new flavor every time he went out. Sam had his research, cases, no parents, no guidance.

The only thing that was right with his life…well, it wasn't here.

There was a knock on the door, startling him from his melancholy thoughts. He hesitantly rose to his feet, wondering if Dean had forgotten something. The hotel they had chosen was pretty seedy, dark and cheap. The wallpaper was ratty, and the carpet was threadbare. Dean was a Winchester, he could pick a lock if he needed back in. Hell, was it even locked?

Did ghouls knock before ripping out your throat?

"Sam?" a tentative voice called from the other side of the door. Sam all but ran to it, throwing the door open with a flourish to reveal the person on the other side. The man looked so much younger than him even at the same age, it was his physique that would throw someone off. He was only a little shorter than Sam, and his hair was lighter with honey highlights, but otherwise strikingly similar. Sam had a stronger cut to his jaw and a more defined body, but the other man held a delicate prettiness about him.

Fresh scrubbed skin, soft hair, simple but clean clothes.

"Oh Sam" the man sighed, eyes roaming over the Winchester. The slighter one noted how dirt had embedded itself into every crevice and pore of Sam's lovely skin, making him appear unkempt and as sooty as a mutt.

"Jared?" Sam's voice was nothing short of a relieved sigh, but it was still a question.

"I got your e-mail, about how Dean's been on the fritz lately" Jared Padalecki shoved his hands into his pockets, suddenly shy "I was filming our show with Jensen a state over, and decided to come see you."

Sam couldn't help but laugh humorlessly, "Kripke let you off?"

"Eric understands" Jared bit the side of his lip "Is this a bad time?"

"Come here, Jay" Sam pulled the man inside and into his arms, the door swung shut with only a single thought. He savored the contact, nearly moaning as Jared wrapped his arms around his waist in a returning hug. "Missed you, baby."

"Missed you more" Jared teased, pulling back enough to brush their lips "You look horrible, Sammy. Have you been sleeping? When was the last time you ate?"

"I can't honestly remember" Sam murmured, nuzzling the curve of his lover's cheek "I just…"

"Come on, tell me" Jared gently eased Sam towards the bed, cupping one of the taller man's hands with both of his. Sam followed obediently, so pleased just to have the man with him again.

With a single push, Sam had his lover spread out on his bed. Jared sat up on his elbows, but made no move to try and get up to get away. Sam crawled above him, straddling his lean hips and staring down into his face. So pretty…and all his. He captured the man's lips, coaxing a moan out of him as they met from hips to chest. They moved together as if they had done this for years, not just months.

"Love you, Jay" Sam admitted between breaths, eyes glinting darkly for a single moment.

"Love you too, Sammy" their kisses were lighter, words whispered in love "I miss you every moment you're not with me…all the time…so much…"

The Winchester nodded, "It hurts when I'm not with you."

Sam laced their fingers, dragging Jared's hands up beside his head and pinning them there. Their kisses deepened, tasting each other truly for the first time in weeks. The lightheadedness only added a degree to their contact, blurring where one body started and the other stopped. Sam's hand slipped beneath his lover's t-shirt, skimming over a firm stomach and relishing the goosebumps that popped up beneath his touch. Jared dug his fingertips in the dip of the taller man's back in retaliation, forcing another harsh groan that reverberated through them.

It felt so right, like the very touch of this man healed him.

It had always been like this with Jared, ever since they first met. It was so cliché, it made them grin just to think about it. There had been a ghost in LA that liked to cause traffic accidents, and it only got stronger with each death. They had the remains salted and burned in less than four hours, giving them some time to get some food and soak in the sun. They had just gotten out of Washington, which was so fuckin' overcast and gloomy. So they lingered to enjoy every minute of sunlight.

Sam had gone straight for a glass-walled café, less people but filled with the rich smell of coffee. He had gone up to the counter and ordered some gay-sounding espresso. Caramel mocha-double shot milk-swirl, whip cream, chocolate shavings…it had made his mouth water at the sight.

The memory was fresh in his mind, the first time he ever laid eyes on Jared.

()()()

**Back-Flash  
****Six Months Ago**

Sam tried not to flush at the look the cute boy behind the counter gave him, eyes straying everywhere but on him. He finally let them settle on the glass-covered pastry shelves, mouth watering at the last perfect blueberry muffin. With a simple request, the blonde boy handed it over and gave the total (not nearly enough for the order.)

Sam's brow crossed, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, pretty boy" a card with a number on it was slipped into his hand along with the muffin "Maybe you can make it up to me later."

Sam flashed the man a brilliant watt smile and nodded, knowing it was a lie. He settled for a table in corner of the shop, perfect for admiring the busy street outside. He sucked at the drink like it was ambrosia, trying desperately not to moan out loud. He just let his mind wander, pondering things like what Dean was doing and how close the nearest book store was on foot. He let the world fade away for a few moments, at ease.

He could almost pretend he had said no to Dean all that time ago, he could almost pretend he was still a college student taking a break from his studies.

"You owe me."

Sam jolted, knocking the straw from his lips. A man sat down before him, almost glaring. He was clutching his own iced coffee, half-gone. Dark emerald sunglasses were perched atop a mop of honey-brown hair, fierce Nile green eyes bore into him. Sam flushed clear up to his roots…the man was very attractive. There was a hard set to his soft jaw, an intimidating gesture that he himself had done many times.

Then everything caught up with Sam, "I _what_?"

"You owe me, that's my muffin" the man's lips quirked "You were too busy flirting with Corey to see me standing in line, eyeing that same muffin. So, be rights, that makes it mine."

Sam glanced down at the pastry, "But I paid for it. _Legally_, that makes it mine."

"Touché" the man broke out into a full grin, leaning back in his chest and sticking the straw of his drink between his lips "But could you be a love and share?"

Sam raised a brow at the attractive display, "I don't share my muffins with strangers, I need a name first."

"Padalecki-comma-Jared" the brunette's eyes sparkled "You're too kind."

"It's kind of my thing" Sam pulled his hip-knife from it's sheath, slicing the pastry down the middle with one graceful movement before wiping it off on his pants and replacing it. Jared seemed completely unfazed, just ecstatic to have a piece of the muffin. They got two napkins and put their share on each.

"And you?" Jared gazed at him from beneath honey-spun lashes "I didn't catch your name, knife-wielder."

"Sam" the Winchester replied, the tone of his voice said that he wouldn't reveal more.

"Sam" the name sounded almost ethereal on his lips "Well, _Sam_, I don't share my muffins with just anyone. Do you-?"

"Dean? Oh my God, it's _you_!" a small teeney bopper squealed, appearing beside them. Sam immediately tensed at his brother's name, going on edge. "C-Can I…? Would you…?"

"Here you are, sweetie" Jared pulled out a pen and held out his hand. She immediately supplied a flipped open star-booklet, nearly full. He signed it dutifully, a brilliant smile on his face. "How long have you watched the show?"

"Since I saw you" she nearly swooned, her mother coming up behind her "It's _Dean_, mom!"

"Mr. Padalecki, my girl sure does enjoy your show" her voice was near southern, gentle lines forming beside her eyes as she smiled and took her daughter's hand "But we don't want to ruin your date. Let's go, Brina-Lee."

The two were gone like that, leaving the men alone.

"What was that?" Sam's fingers uncurled from the knife sheath "I thought you said your name was Jared?"

"It is" Jared shrugged, sipping at his drink again and looking collected "I play Dean on _Gilmore Girls_, but that's wrapping up. Some fans think it's my name, it's no big deal."

"Oh" Sam had heard of that show before "So…you're like some huge successful, A-list actor, huh?"

"I'm a _starlet_, honey" Jared laced in a thick southern belle accent, then laughed at the sound of his own voice "But yeah, I do what I can. I'm not real big or anything, but I make money doing what I love."

They laughed and talked about other things. LA weather, and how the LA people seemed to come in every shade of orange. It was an easy ebb-and-flow of conversation, both pointedly ignoring the fact that they were strangers and didn't know a thing about their lives before each other. Sam mentioned Dean, which sent Jared into a titter about his own "normal" brother and sister who his parents adored.

"They hate that I'm an actor and _rocking_ it" Jared pouted cutely, then promptly demanded Chris bring them another round (a loud request across the room) before lowering his voice "My mom's an English teacher and my dad's an accountant. Can you believe how boring they are?"

It wasn't until two and a half hours later that they realized how long they'd been there, three rounds between them. They were both a bit wired from the coffee, so Jared suggested a walk around. They left together, splitting the total tab with minimal fighting which only ended in more pouting.

Their feet and conversation took them to a nearby park, the sun warming their faces as plush grass gave way beneath their sneakers. Jared talked a bit more about the perks of acting, and how his newest movie _House of Wax_ was wrapping up.

"Yet again, I'll be jobless" Jared pouted, but it didn't stay for long "What about _you_, Sam? What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a…private detective" Sam half-lied, and he knew in an instant that his lie had been spotted. But Jared didn't call him out on it. Instead, they began a discussion on the evils of junk-good books and romance novels.

"Historical fiction, man, that's where it's _at_" Jared pointed out with a flourish of his hands "There's nothing better than _learning _while looking through a fiction-coated lens."

"No way" Sam countered playfully "Mysteries are _it_, end of story. Mysteries work you, you're thinking the entire time…going over every possibilities, wracking your mind. You can lose yourself in it, and all else disappears."

"So you like mysteries, Sammy?" Jared walked out in front of him, blocking his way "Can you figure _me_ out?"

"Maybe I can" Sam's brain began to whir like a freshly booted CPU, all his thoughts and attention on Jared "The way you picked your muffin apart instead of eating it whole means you like to be in control, have everything organized the way you want it. The way you came right up to me and sat down shows you're reckless, but otherwise friendly. Your taste in books shows you're smart, but not serious. Playful, yet wise. You've seen enough to know where you're going, but not enough to see how it ends."

"You missed one important thing, smart guy" Jared stepped closer, flushed at the compliments.

The taller didn't move away, savoring the proximity, "What?"

"You failed to mention the fact that I am wildly attracted to you, moth-flame syndrome" Jared leant in "And that I want to kiss you within an inch of your life."

Sam wanted nothing more. He wanted to kiss and live, hold and snuggle and just be _normal_! Hell, if he gave his life up for anyone, it'd be someone as entertaining and as full of life as Jared was. He wanted this fond attraction between them to grow and thrive, to develop into deep Everlasting-Apple love.

But when Jared's lips fluttered against his, he turned his head away. He brushed their cheeks, savoring the warmth and smooth skin against his. Somehow their wide palms met at the same time, fingers curling together intimately.

Something clicked inside them, locking them together mentally as if trapped in handcuffs.

"I want to, I do" Sam admitted softly, nuzzling the other "But we shouldn't."

"Life's too short to wait" Jared pointed out, but let go of the other and respected his space "But I understand, man."

"I'm leaving tomorrow" Sam chewed at his lower lip, desperate to explain away this pain in his chest "I don't want you to feel…_used_, Jared. This is a good thing between us, I just don't want to…to ruin it. I ruin _everything_ I touch and I don't want-"

Fingertips landed over his lips, silencing him effectively.

"You're a good guy, Sam" Jared put on a mock-hurt face "I guess I'll just have to wait. You hold my heart, dude, don't lose it."

With a put-out sigh, Jared flopped cross-legged on the ground. As Sam looked on curiously, Jared took out a pen and note card. He scribbled several things down in quick succession, pausing longer on the last line. He used his thigh as a flat surface, tongue flicking out over his lower lip as he wrote. After a minute, he jumped back up and shoved the card into the older man's hand.

"Take this" Jared declared "It's my cell, address here in LA, and e-mail. Only you and -like- four people know this…if it leaks, I'll know it was you."

The hunter flushed, "I would never, Jay.""I know" Jared positively fluttered "You called me 'Jay'."

"Sorry."

"Never apologize for something that makes me smile" Jared slipped his sunglasses over his eyes "Call me, text me, IM me. Whenever you need, Sammy, I'm never too busy. If I don't hear from you, it would break my heart. You don't want that, do you?"

Sam shook his head obediently.

"Good" Jared brushed a kiss across his cheek "Now be a good boy and walk me back to my apartment, would ya?"

()()()

**Present**

That had been exactly six months ago, not two weeks after Dean came back from Hell. They e-mailed back and forth like mad, exchanging phone calls every other day like they were dating. It was always the highlight of his day, between the ghouls and Dean's evasive/defensive attitude. It was innocent at first, the touches chaste, lips never sought anything other than a cheek or a peck on another mouth.

That was until Jared's life was put into danger and all was finally revealed between them.

_**TBC**_

_**They say don't trust**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {2-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**Back-Flash  
****4 Months Ago**

The Winchester brothers had been on a hunt, nothing more serious than a half-dozen werewolves. All they had to do was take out the pack leader and the fledglings went crazy, scrambling instantly. The brothers were sure the had gotten all of the pups, but you could never be 100% sure.

"I'm heading back into town, check out that bar a couple of blocks away from our motel" Dean stated, nudging his brother in the side "You wanna come with?"

"Not tonight" Sam clutched his cellphone in his jacket, which held a text message that told him Jared would be at their hotel within the hour "I'm just going to hang around the hotel room, maybe write a little."

"You and your stories" Dean teased, punching his brother light in the arm "Drop me off, will ya?"

Sam almost never got to drive, but Dean need to change before he went anywhere remotely public. The older brother changed in the back seat, scowling at the blood-stained clothes. They were kind of out in the middle of nowhere, but the Impala took them along the gravel road to where town awaited. Maine may have been rainy and dark sometimes, but it did have some beautiful forests. Beautiful enough to house a pack of werewolves, but not dense enough to hide the beasts from the two hunters.

Sam stopped suddenly when the tires hit the paved road, causing Dean to get tangled up in his own jeans and fall onto the floor. He laughed aloud and ducked the punch aimed at his head, hitting the gas again. It was good to make his brother smile, it felt normal. Things had been tense between them since the Hell thing, but at times it was better than others. Dean still drank too much, snapped, and withdrew on himself.

And it killed Sam to watch.

Twenty minutes later, the brothers had a quick argument about who would get the car and who would just walk back to the hotel. Sam won with a puppy-pout and a slip of a $20 bill into his brother's hand. He pointed out a cab would be safer since Dean was going to get drunk anyways, and Dean had to concede to his logic.

So the younger brother, triumphant and smug, drove back to the hotel. It went smoothly, a normal trip until he parked the Impala in the back corner of the lot and got out.

Sam immediately spotted the silver Geo farther down the lot, a man leaning against it casually. Not just any man, Jared. The honey haired man looked up, his pearly white smile a beacon in the dim lot. Sam raised his hand in a wave, but stopped cold. Jared started to walk toward him, seemingly oblivious of the dark shadow that entered the lot.

"No…" Sam's voice was hoarse (no more than a rasp), eyes wide as the shadow hunched in a pounce "Jared! Move!"

Jared pivoted long enough to glimpse ebony fur and ivory fangs before he was knocked to the ground. His palms bit into the asphalt, head nearly cracking off the surface. Pure instinct told him to jump right back up, but a heavy weight settled above him. A snuff ruffled his hair, heat washing over his neck. He turned his head, looking only at Sam across the lot.

A werewolf. A fuckin' werewolf was pinning down Jared, _his_ Jared. One of the same creatures the Winchesters had killed that night, only alive and vengeful. And he couldn't _move_. Every instinct kicked in at once: Silver bullets, decapitate, machete, don't let it bite. He flipped open the trunk of the Impala, digging through the apartments for each item.

_Don't let it bite. Silver bullets. Decapitate. Don't let it bite. Don't. Let. It. Bite. __**Jared**__._

Jared's heart raced madly in his chest, watching Sam scramble for something. A growl reverberated right over his head, deafening him. A powerful paw shoved at his shoulder, rolling him onto his back like a rag doll. He blinked up at the creature above him, mind slow to register what exactly it was.

The blood gold eyes met his, pupils slit. Thick, tar fur covered the huge bulk of it's body. Yellow-tinted claws dug into the asphalt on either side of his head, filling his ears with a rough static. Saliva slicked the lethal jowls, a dark pink tongue flicking over fangs.

Jared felt a scream bubble up in his throat, but all that came out was a breathless whimper.

A werewolf…all beast, above him…

No. _Fuckin_'. Way.

The monster let out another rumbling growl, jowls falling open forebodingly. The werewolf's head dipped, wet nose brushing against Jared's neck. He tensed all over, but didn't make any sharp movements. He knew he couldn't get away, even if he tried. One forceful paw lifted, settling on his shoulder. The beast seemed to take pleasure in his choked groan, the sharp tips of it's claws cutting through his shirt and piercing his flesh. With a simple flex of it's muscles, blood welled and soaked into the thin material.

Sickly sour breath washed over him again, the ends of protruding fangs resting against the flesh of his neck.

Just when Jared thought it was all over, the werewolf reared back and let out a howl of pain. Jared watched in morbid fascination as it's abundant body began to convulse, jaws open to the sky and chest thrust out. It rolled off the boy and onto the asphalt, twitching as if held in a violent grip.

Sam approached, eyes purely black. He hefted a pistol with holy engravings along the barrel and handle. He popped off four silver bullets in rapid succession, secretly delighted as every bullet hit and blood spurted from the wounds. His activated demon powers came into great use, holding the beast down with only a flex of his mental muscles.

Sam dropped the gun and unsheathed his machete, it caught the street light ominously.

Jared looked on his horrid curiosity as the man he had come to care for very much straddled the werewolf. Sam braced his palms on the blade, pressing down on each side to sever the head. The animal barely jerked before going limp beneath him, blood pooling along the gash and seeping into the cracked asphalt.

Jared managed to get to his feet, the minimal blood from his shoulder wound already drying. Sam looked over at him, the darkness in his eyes receding to reveal a concerned shade of hazel.

"Are you ok? Did it hurt you?" Sam was overwhelmed by a sudden possessive nature, he walked over and slid an arm around the dip of the actor's lower back. They were pressed close enough to feel each rise and fall of their chests, though Jared's breath was quickened from his adrenaline rush. A large palm cupped Jared's cheek, tilting his head up to meet those lush eyes he had dreamed of.

"Jay…say something."

"Werewolf" Jared choked out "That thing was a werewolf. It almost killed me, _would have_ if you hadn't- …and _you_, Sammy, you held it down with your mind."

Sam opened his mouth to protest, but received a glare.

"Don't you even _think_ of lying to me, or I'll shoot you with your own gun" Jared tried to come off indignant and succeeded "I saw everything, Sam. Tell me what just happened or…or…"

Sam captured the man's mouth with his own, holding him still with the hand on his face. The actor was not one to let opportunities pass him by, and he seized it. The ardor flared between them like electricity, drawing moans from them both. The hunter slowly backed them up towards the Impala, refusing to let go of Jared's taste for any longer than he had to.

Before either knew it, they locked the doors of the car and were stretching out in the back of the Impala. They were both a little too tall to be rolling around in the back of the old car, but they managed to make it work. The hour passed by in a blur of half-open clothes and slick skin, kisses placed over every inch. Sam had him right there on the worn seats, the supple material felt good against his back. Thank God for the lube in the back of the seat, or it would have stopped right there.

Even in this horribly vulnerable place (a hotel lot in the middle of a ass-backward town), it was still intimate. Sam left red love bites along the curve of his neck, and Jared left scratches down the strong back with his blunt nails. It wasn't how their first time was supposed to be, but they were too desperate to get themselves up to the rented hotel room just two floors above in the building next to them.

All that mattered was that shared moment of bliss, pupils blown and backs arching.

Who knows how long later they lay in a sated and boneless heap, cum slicking their stomachs and chests. Neither was sure where one ended and the other began. If one were to look upon them, they would take note of the differences between their bodies. Even though they looked similar in basic features, Sam was tan all over and scars decorated the flesh. Not as many as Dean, but enough to give his body a unique feel. Jared only had a few mars sprinkled over his knees and arms, nothing to show he had a hard life.

Sam lay with his legs tangled with Jared, his head resting on the man's chest. Every beat of Jared's heart touched his cheek, reassuring him and calming his frazzled nerves. Those gentle fingers carded through his rough nest of locks, soft breaths escaping his lips.

"I'm not a private detective, Jay" Sam tried to explain "I'm a hunter. I hunt things like that werewolf out there…me and my brother."

"I bet there's a helluva lot more than just werewolves out there" Jared reasoned, eyes glassy as he stared up at the ceiling of the Impala "I think I've always known. Horrible things were always lurking on the edges of my vision, _wicked_ things. And some…not so wicked."

"Not all things supernatural are evil" Sam nuzzled into the man's chest "This is why I didn't want you involved. I didn't want you hurt like this, knowing about this. It'll only-"

"I got over being scared to death of the occult when I was thirteen years old" Jared gave the man a rough pet, silencing him. In reward, he stroked the tan curve of his neck. "I was in my room alone, reading. Someone said my name, something in my closet. I was so pissed of being scared of things, so when the door opened…it was a man, but not really a man. I knew right then the man was some sort of demon, and I told him straight out that if he didn't get out, I would douse him in holy water and burn his ass. He kind of just shrugged at me, and told me he'd be back when I was desperate enough for a trade. I told him to shove it up his ass, and he left."

"Did he say his name?" Sam's mind, even in a foggy post-orgasmic haze, began to work over the puzzle.

"Called himself a Crossroads demon" Jared murmured in his ear, kissing it tenderly "It doesn't matter. I'd never be desperate enough to deal with a demon."

"You're sure taking this in stride" Sam smiled into the pale skin beneath him, nuzzling it playfully "I love that about you, Jay."

Jared flushed a little at this, but said nothing more than, "Let's get dressed, and you can tell me the rest of your life."

()()()

**Present**

Jared pulled away long enough to cup his lover's face, gazing up at him with those heartbreakingly gentle Nile green eyes. He saw the pain there, etched into every line on his lover's face.

"Sammy" Jared whispered, letting their lips brush once more "Tell me…tell me what happened."

"After our hunt tonight, Dean said…I hesitated on a vampire that almost looked like my old girlfriend Jessica. It was only a moment, Jay, I would have killed her" Sam swore, sitting up on his boyfriend's hips "Dean decapitated her before I could even move, and I knew he was pissed. When it was finally over, we were walking to the car and…I tried to apologize. He told me that if I ever hesitated again just because a monster _looked_ like someone I used to know, he would drop me off in Kansas and not look back."

"That's not it" Jared narrowed his eyes "Come on, pet. Tell me all of it."

"I shouldn't have said it, I pushed him" the hunter dropped his eyes briefly, dark eyes glistening "I told him that he would do the same thing if a demon looked like Mom or Jo. He snapped, he yelled at me that if I wasn't the Goddamn Chosen One our mom would have never died and we wouldn't be so fucked up."

Jared pulled his lover down and kissed him hard, a pure hatred for Dean flowing over him. It didn't last long, but it was justified. Sam loved his brother, adored him, offered his soul for him. Yet Dean refused to speak of his time in Hell, withdrew, drank and went out without a thought about his brother. It seemed as if Dean was distancing himself from his brother on purpose, blaming the man because he hadn't been able to save him from Hell.

"It's not your fault, Sammy" Jared murmured into his lover's mouth, unwilling to pull away. Tears slicked his face, but they weren't his own. Sam was crying without making a sound, hurt. "Remember what happened with Dean? When he got sent back in time? He tried to save your mom, but she died anyways. You can't stop what was meant to be."

"Like how we were destined to meet?" Sam ran his fingers through honey-brown tresses, each breath gave him another taste of his lover "How our souls yearned for each other for years and we never knew what was missing from our lives?"

"We were destined to fall in love, and not even a Higher Being could stop us once my soul met yours" Jared cringed at the sappiness, the hunter grinned "Shut up, like you don't feel the same."

"I do" Sam sighed, letting their bodies lay flush against one another "I've wanted nothing else but my hands on you for days. Can we…?""Take what you need, baby" Jared purred, hands tearing off his lover's outer shirt. Sam attacked his mouth with a fever, wide-palmed hands skimmed up his abdomen in rhythm with his tongue. Skilled fingers worked open the buttons, the material fell open to reveal the lines of the lighter torso. Sam ripped himself away from that supple mouth, concentrating instead on the new expanse of skin before him. Jared sat back on his elbows, head thrown back and lips parted in a gasp. Sam's lips, tongue, and teeth worked over his collarbone…over his pecs…latching onto a nipple, silky strands teasing the skin.

"Sammy" Jared felt the heat rush through him, trying not to pant. Sam's hands were all over him; over his thighs and hips, thumbing the line of his jeans, teasing the curve of his knees. His shirt wasn't completely undone, clinging to his stomach by the last three buttons.

In only a few months, Sam had changed before him. He was still the loveable puppy he had fallen in love with all that time ago, but Jared could see within him. He was becoming more at ease with his job as a hunter, his guilt was lessening over the demons he killed and more over his brother. But if Jared had any say in it, he wouldn't let his Sam slip into the darkness.

He would give anything to keep his soulmate safe and loved.

The door started to open, causing Jared to jolt and his heart to flutter. He knew instinctively there was a salt line taped down across the doorway, but that didn't stop the panic from rising. Before Jared could even open his mouth to suggest hiding (or anything, really), the door slammed shut again. An outraged cry came from behind the door, followed by the doorknob being jiggled.

"Sam?" it was Dean behind the door, he knew that voice from being on the phone with Sam "Dude, it's me. Open the door."

Jared gazed down at Sam, who was mouthing wet kisses above his bellybutton. The actor peered closer at his lover's face, shocked at what he found there. Those sable eyes he adored were now pure black, showing the presence of his power as it was asserted.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled, pounding at the door "Let me in! Are you ok? Say something!"

"Sam" Jared tugged at the man's hair, trying to pull him away "It's your brother, man."

"He can get the hell out of here, go have a meaningless fuck with someone who won't ever love him half as much as I do. Every night he chooses to go fuck some stranger instead of hanging out with me…" Sam growled, bitterness laced deep in those tones "Unless he wants a free show, he can leave."

"You've got until the count of three, or I'm shooting this door down!" Dean bellowed.

Jared tensed, knowing Dean carried a sawed-off shotgun with him almost all the time beneath his coat. He reached down and cupped Sam's face, forcing him to look at him.

"Don't use your powers like this, pet" the actor tried to sound convincing, hiding his fear at the pure ebony orbs he found staring back at him "Not on your brother. He was going to find out eventually, it might as well be now."

"But I want to be with you" Sam all but pleaded, brushing their lips "I want to choose you tonight."

"I would never ask you to choose me over your brother" Jared stated firmly "Let's do this together, ok?"

Their kiss was more solid, tongues meeting…slicking over one another. Slowly, the black receded from Sam's eyes. Jared wrapped his arms around broad shoulders, pressing them even closer. The door flew open, both acutely aware of the gun lined up to shoot at them.

"_Jesus_" Dean cursed, nearly dropping his gun at the sight. Two Sam's…kissing, making out on the bed. But, damn, when he looked closer he realized they weren't as similar looking as he thought they were. It took every hunter skill he had, but he discarded the bizarreness of it all and noted each difference. Hair color, size, skin tone…

The one dominating the other was definitely his brother.

"Dean" Sam sighed, pulling off his lover and getting his footing on the floor "Listen, I know you must be freaking out right now-"

Dean lunged for the man on the bed, overpowering him in one smooth motion. He grabbed him by his neck and pinned him flat, while the other hand snatched his flask of holy water out of his jacket. Before Jared knew it, he had one long streak of water seeping in across his chest.

"_Christo_" Dean muttered, looking straight into his face. Jared glared back, but made sure he made no sudden moves. This man was nothing like the character Sam had described, he was much more fierce. Though it was hard to be afraid of someone baring sweet Jensen's face, it wasn't hard to be terrified of the wild look in his dark jade eyes.

"It's ok, Dean" Jared whispered, the hand on his throat loosening. Before Dean could respond, a solid hand fell on his shoulder and pulled him clean off the bed.

"Would you calm the hell down?" Sam barked, getting between his brother and his lover. Jared took it in stride, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and using it as a towel for the rest of him.

"What is he? Who is he?" Dean's sharp eyes spotted the fading love-marks down his chest "What is this? What the _fuck_ is going on?"

"His name is Jared, and he isn't evil" Sam began calmly, going over to his duffle and pulling out a spare shirt for his lover "We met six months ago, I was just as surprised as you are."

"You remembered when we met" Jared's smile was playful "How sweet, Sammy."

"I even remember the name of the drink you drank: Chocolate Mocha Shot" Sam handed him the shirt, letting his knuckles brush his smooth shoulder before focusing back on his brother "I know we look alike, Dean, but there's a logical explanation."

"So there's a reason why you were sucking face with…_yourself_" Dean gestured at Jared vaguely, eyes never leaving his brother "Go on, tell me how this is normal."

"You won't believe it" Sam informed him wearily "I had trouble swallowing it when Missouri saw the truth."

"Missouri?" the older brother scrubbed at his face and hair, becoming frustrated "Damn it, is that where you disappeared to in Lawrence? I thought you were just being sentimental!"

"I kind of was" Sam shrugged, then grew sober "Just listen to me, don't interrupt. I went to see Missouri when we were driving through Kansas…"

()()()

**Back-Flash  
Five Months Ago**

Sam smiled slightly as a steaming cup of cherry tea was set before him, a certain fondness in his eyes as they fell upon Missouri Moseley. She gave him a charming smile, warming something inside him.

"I never see you boys as often as I'd like to, ya know" Missouri's eyes roamed over his unkempt form "Where's Dean?"

"Sleeping back in the motel room" Sam replied, though he knew that she knew this already "He's been through so much lately…he's not adjusting well to being back. I'm trying to help but all I can do are small things. Stuff he doesn't notice…"

"Like letting him sleep in" she pet his shoulder "You're such a good brother, Sam."

Sam wrapped his fingers around the cup, warming his palms, "Thank you."

"Now, I could just read your mind" Missouri sat down with a flourish on a chair across from him, leaning back in one graceful movement "But I'd rather you _explain_ why you're here in Kansas."

"I'm sorry it's not a visit of leisure" Sam smiled guiltily "I…um, I found two very interesting people. They, uh, they have…"

Sam struggled, but Missouri was very patient as she stirred milk into her thick honey tea. The hunter ended up pulling out his phone, clicking at it for a moment before holding it out for her. She wrapped her fingers around the device, peering down at the screen. A video played, the young man sitting at a table holding the phone at arms length.

'_Morning Sammy_' a voice so like Sam's, but lighter and more playful '_We're at some random diner in BC, I'm hanging with my best friend while he films some shots for his current show. I thought I'd say hi. Jensen says hi too_.'

The camera turned to the other side the booth, revealing a young man looking strikingly like Dean Winchester. He had sunglasses atop his head and a sleepy expression on his face. He was inhaling a cup of coffee, but gave a half-ass wave. The camera turned on the boy who resembled Sam again, he blew a kiss and winked.

'_This is a lot better than an e-mail, huh?_' the young man giggled and flashed the peace sign '_Be good, man, for me?_'

The video ended on that still, a young man with a brilliant smile and no cares.

Missouri's eyes widened, "What is this?"

"_That_ is Jared Padalecki" Sam took the phone back, shoving it into his pocket "And his best friend, Jensen Ackles. At first I thought the similarities between Jared and myself were a coincidence, then I saw Jensen and knew. I questioned Jay about it, but all he could say was that he had always felt drawn to Jensen. They met out of pure coincidence in a book store, and just clicked."

"Jensen Ackles does bare a resemblance to your brother" Missouri stated, looking thoughtful "And Jared has a _powerful_ likeness to you, if not a bit smaller and less serious. It's so strange…and how did you meet Jared?"

"By chance at a coffee shop in LA" the blonde smiled fondly at the memory "He demanded I share my muffin, and I couldn't say no. Before I knew it…"

Missouri did a quick scan of his mind, her mouth curling in a smile as she saw what he did. Warm Nile eyes looking up at him, an attempted kiss, a brush of skin. It was chaste and gut-wrenching all at once, the connection started. Phone calls at all hours of the day and night, playful cyber teasing back and forth, laughter at the other's stupid jokes.

"Tell me he's not evil" Sam all but begged, breaking her musing. He looked nearly pathetic, eyes pleading and wide while he gripped the teacup so hard she was sure it would break beneath his strength. "Tell me he's normal, tell me he's not a demon."

"Does he _feel_ evil, Sam?" Missouri questioned, rising from her seat to fetch an azure velvet bag off a shelf.

Sam chewed at his lower lip, "Well…no."

"I trust your moral compass" Missouri laid out a bamboo mat on the table, untying the silk chord form the bag with a smile "But let's see what's going on in a higher scale, shall we?"

With a short incantation that sounded strangely Russian, Missouri poured the contents of the bag out onto the matt. Sam narrowed his eyes at the objects, realizing they were only ebony stones with runes etched into them in red. Missouri carefully read them, fingertips hovering over them as if they were indirect brail. She frowned in concentration, loading them back into the bag before spilling them out again.

The reading took less time, and she let out a low hum.

"Missouri…?" Sam was on the edge of his seat, desperate.

"Come here" Missouri crooked her finger at him, voice low. The intensity of her gaze made him obedient, standing from his chair and circling the table. He dropped to his knees before her, closing his eyes as she reached for him. Missouri's palm was warm and firm against his forehead, fingers curling in his shaggy hair. He felt the invasive probe of her presence but opened up and allowed it in.

They were silent for some time, one delving into the depths of the other. It would have been much easier if Jared were here himself, but it wasn't impossible. Missouri went into a soft daze, slowly searching every crevice and fold of the young hunter's soul in search of an abnormality. She shied away from the darkness in him, the demon blood that pulsed alongside his humanity. She encountered a different fierce energy that almost made her jerk away, but she only pushed harder.

When Missouri finally broke the connection, Sam was panting and she felt a little out of breath herself. It took a full minute for the Winchester to recover enough to stand and stumble back to his chair. He lapped down his tea gratefully, it soothed the raw feeling left in his gut. He felt horribly vulnerable, like one too many skin layers had been pulled off his mind and soul and all it left was tender, pink flesh. Almost like the time he cut off his fingernail with a machete, without the sickly sweet smell.

"So?" Sam pressed impatiently "Did you feel something?"

"I don't know how to begin…" Missouri seemed displeased, taking a small sip of tea "They aren't demons, Sam. They aren't shapeshifters, or sirens, or anything else you are thinking. They look…Jared looks like you because you are connected. Spiritually, permanently."

Sam wasn't catching on, "What do you mean?"

"When you and your brother were destined to be born, a Higher Being took a special interest. A Higher Being called Hecate of the Crossroads, but she's nothing like a Crossroads demon. Neutral, at best."

Sam nodded, and she continued, "Dean was interesting enough with his naturally engraved hunter skills, as she saw he would have. But _two_ brothers, the youngest with demon blood and a strong destiny…she was hooked. She holds much power and sway, but she rarely asserts it. She looked upon you and…and made a decision when she foresaw the night Mary -your mother- was killed. When she saw what Azazel was going to do, what your mother was forced to deal with, and him damning you with his blood…she knew you two would need help down the line."

"And that's what Jared and Jensen are?" Sam raised a brow, skeptical "Cosmic help?"

"She foresaw that even though you Winchester brothers would compliment each other and form a strong bond, you would need Balances" Missouri almost seemed in awe by such a feat "So Hecate took pieces of your souls, and blended it with that of those boys. Jensen and Dean were born the same night, as were you and Jared. In the end, you held a piece of Jared just as much as he holds a piece of you. And, from the runes, it seems that the similarities between you _physically _were only a side effect."

"So two people are walking around with our faces is just an accident" Sam couldn't oppress the outrage spilling over within him.

"Oh hush, or I'll get my spoon out" Missouri waved her hand dismissively, then glared with those dark eyes "Does Dean know about Jared?"

"Not yet" the man sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face "But now that I know about Jensen, I kind of have to tell him. They're both actors, too. All I need is for Dean to flip on the TV and see his look-alike on _Days Of Our Lives_ or _Devour_."

"Honey, no one watches _Devour_. And if you catch Dean watching a soap, smack 'im for me" Missouri's smile was teasing, but not far long "There's a bond between Jared and Jensen, growing just as strong as the bond between you and your brother. These feelings you have for Jared…"

"I barely understand them myself, Missouri" Sam stated, the woman resisted the '_I know_' on the tip of her tongue "Is it…wrong to feel like this? He _is_ a piece of me, in a way."

"No-no Sam" Missouri assured him, swaying her fingers back and forth "I'd actually be surprised if you _weren't_ falling in love with him. He completes you, balances you. It's not wrong, sweetheart."

"And Jensen?" Sam's lips pursed thoughtfully "When they meet, do you think Dean will feel the same for him as I feel for Jay?"

"We _will see_, won't we?" Missouri chuckled, downing the rest of her tea "Bring them over soon, won't you?"

"Once we're done with this hunt, I'm going to go see him" Sam stated "One of these times, Dean is going to know why I keep circling back to LA and why I mysteriously disappear for hours at a time. There's only so many ghosts and ghouls in that town, after all."

"Send him my love, will you?" her eyes shined brilliantly "Dean _and_ Jared."

Sam flushed, "Of course."

()()()

**Present**

All was quiet after Sam's voice trailed off. Dean collapsed in a chair against the wall, hands pressed to his mouth in a steeple. He blinked slowly down at the floor, processing everything he juts learned. But how could he accept such a thing? A Higher Being intervened in their lives, giving their faces to two bodies. Splitting their _souls_…Dean didn't think such a thing was possible.

He could only think of one thing to say, "You should have told me."

"And how would you have reacted?" Sam gave his brother a skeptical look " '_Dean, I met this rather attractive guy at a coffee shop today, he gave me his number. Oh, yeah, and he looked a lot like me. Do you think he's evil? I don't. Wait, why are you grabbing your gun?_' Yeah, no way."

"I wouldn't have…well, maybe" Dean huffed, watching Jared as he fiddled with Sam's laptop "And why are _you_ so calm about this?"

Jared shrugged, "When I was little, I was propositioned by a Crossroads demon. I believed Sam the moment he told me about the supernatural. This is about as supernatural as it gets, right? And, you heard him, Missouri saw it all inside his _soul_. You can't get much deeper than that."

"Stop it! Just _stop_!" Dean jumped up from the chair, ready to start breaking skulls "Stop pretending like you know something about us and what we do! Stop pretending like you know _everything_ about our lives!"

"Dean" Sam glared hard at his brother, eyes flickering darkly "I won't have you talking to Jay that way no matter how freaked out you are. I love him, so watch your tongue."

Jared put aside the laptop, walking up behind his lover. He laced his fingers along the curve of his broad shoulder, chin settling on them. He nuzzled him lovingly, nothing but devotion in his eyes. Sam turned his head, giving him a warm smile.

"My little brother's in love" Dean shook his head in pure amazement, rubbing at the back of his neck "So…when were you going to tell me about him?"

"Eventually" Jared replied "I tried to tell him you could handle it, but-"

"I didn't think you were ready" Sam cut him off, watching the acceptance bloom in his brother's face "So you believe us?"

"How can I not? In the middle of the night, there was always something that nagged at me. Deep in my gut, I felt like there was something we were supposed to find. Every time we were on the road, I would keep thinking that I should be looking harder for something…" Dean shook his head, gesturing vaguely "So where's the guy who has my face?"

"I think we should tell him about the other thing" Jared suggested, all but whispering into his lover's ear "He'll just get more angry if he sees it before you explain."

"Uh, ok" Sam look at his brother, uncertainty in his gaze "Dean, I'm going to show you something. And you have to promise not to freak the hell out."

Dean wasn't too sure he'd like this.

_**TBC**_

_**You, me, we, us**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell{3-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: I know that it would take long to make the episodes of Supernatural. I'm not sure how shows work, if they tape the whole season first before releasing them or tape them each month or week then make the second one while the first one gets aired. Honestly, I have no clue. But like I said, severe AU. I am bending reality. Nothing that I write is true. I am just taking the identities of Jared and Jensen and bending them to my will. I do not pretend to know the relationships they have with anyone they know**.)**

* * *

**Back-Flash  
****2½ Months Ago**

Jared watched in mild amusement as Sam taped down a salt line right inside his door way. He eyed the long form of the man, taking great delight when his grey sweats tightened around the curve of his ass. Jared sipped at his coffee lazily, barely listening as Sam scolded him for letting him forget it the night before.

The night before…Sam had shown up at his door in the middle of the night, looking weary but happy. Jared eagerly let the man in, inviting him for a night of sin in his sheets. Even during the witching hour (three AM), they still hadn't had enough of each other. They had collapsed in a sweaty, sated heap upon the covers and passed out breathing the scent of the other.

Now it was the morning, and Sam was complaining.

"Damn it, I can't believe I didn't think of this last night" Sam used a special white marker to draw on the back of his lover's door, putting protective sigils and runes there for mystical protection "What if something would have followed me? A demon, or worse…"

"A werewolf?" Jared teased, his lover threw a dirty look his way "It's fine, Sam. Now come drink your coffee before it gets cold."

Sam wanted to protest, but instead sauntered over to small breakfast table and sat down across from his lover. Jared slid over the steaming cup of coffee, eyes shining at the relieved gleam in the hunter's eyes.

"Thanks" Sam gratefully took a gulp, nearly moaning as the rustic flavor washed over his tongue "Sorry I just jumped you last night, but Dean was on-and-off about coming through Texas. This is a nice place, nicer than your LA apartment."

"I sold that thing" Jared waved him off "I'm not made of money after all. I'm stuck here in San Antonio for awhile until I can get a new role. It's my hometown, it's good to see my family again."

"Then why aren't you staying with them?"

"I'm almost thirty, damn it" Jared faux-pouted, putting on his puppy mask "I have to assert my independence somehow, right? So I'm staying across town from them, but it doesn't stop my mom from calling me four times a day."

Sam realized something was off, "You and your family don't get along very well, do you?"

Jared pursed his lips, gazing down into his coffee, "I'm just not sure who wants what from me anymore."

"You're an actor, baby, you have to be cautious" Sam reached out, letting his fingertips skim down the side of his lover's face "Just like me as a hunter."

Jared's smile was sad, "As long as I keep my guard up, no one can hurt me."

Sam wished desperately he could take that pathetic look off his lover's face. He looked around, spotting his laptop charging by the couch. He wasn't sure if he should pitch this idea to his lover now of all times, but it was better than never. He steeled himself, letting his nerves settle before he opened his mouth.

"Jay" Sam began "How would you feel about another horror role?"

"_House of Wax_ was fun, I think I'd like to do something like that" Jared rattled off, wondering why the look of excitement had come over his boyfriend's face "Why?"

"I have an idea that I want to lay out for you" Sam walked over, picking up his laptop and unhooking it. He clicked off the screen-saver, opened up a certain document, then sat it in front of the actor. Jared gave his lover a skeptical look, then gazed at the screen. "Read it over, tell me if you like it."

Sam sat back down and took up his coffee, hiding his impatience behind the mug. It took ten full minutes, consisting of Jared scrolling down the screen and opening several documents.

"Sammy…this is your life" Jared stated in awe "These are all the cases you and your brother have taken for almost four years. Some of the details look edited, and it's in story form…but it's the same."

"I took some poetic license to it" Sam shrugged.

"You can't be serious, Sam" Jared realized what his lover was getting at "Any demon watching this could figure out who you are!"

"Do you think I haven't thought this out?" the taller man raised a brow, gaining some calm as he explained "I think it would be best. Demons know about us anyways, our family's history and what we carry with us. Hell, a demon last week knew the exact license plate of the Impala. What exactly are we hiding from? Ever since I got Dean's record expunged, we're not even in the system anymore. Well, except my stint in college. But that's no the point."

"You do realize that if you do this…" Jared gestured at the screen "You can never go back to a normal life. No one would believe your identity even if you tried."

"See! _That's_ the point!" Sam's smile nearly glowed "If this gets through, if it does well, then we'll be hiding in plain sight! We'll be even safer than before! Even if someone recognizes us from the show, we can get all intimidating on them and tell them they were mistaken."

Jared sat back in his chair, looking at the paragraphs on the screen, "This is actually really good, Sam."

The hunter turned red and dropped his eyes, "Thanks."

The hazel-eyed man moistened his lips, "What do you want me to do with this?"

"I want to turn it into a television show" a sudden thought dawned on Sam, his eyes wide "I didn't mean that I wanted you to use your influence! I wanted your opinion, to see if I should do it or not. You see, we saved this big TV producer a while back and he kind of owes us. I was thinking about going to him. I just wanted to see if you would…"

Jared reached out, lacing his fingers with the taller man, "What is it, Sammy-pet?"

Sam didn't even cringe at these kind of nicknames, he had come to love and enjoy them. He tightened his grip on his lover's hand, assured.

"I want you to play me" Sam replied, eyes glistening "And Jensen to play Dean."

Jared gaped like a fish for a moment, then turned skeptical, "What if someone finds out there's two of us? What are we going to do?"

"No one, not even the demons, are going to realize the importance we are to each other" Sam promised him "And even if they do, who cares? We look different enough, no one's going to think we're anything more than lovers. How can they? The way I can't stop touching you…"

Sam brought his lover's hand up, kissing the inside of his wrist.

Jared melted, "Ok…ok…but maybe I can get this in front of a director instead."

Sam's brow creased, "I don't want you to-"

"Oh shut up" Jared mock-glared, though a grin was breaking his face "Jensen knows this guy, Eric Kripke, who's all but hissing and scratching for a new horror TV series. Question is, what's the title I should slap on this?"

Sam didn't even think about it, "_Supernatural_."

()()()

**Present**

Dean sat silently on the edge of the bed, green eyes focused solely on the TV. Confusion danced across his features, slowly replaced with fascination. He fiddled with the ring on his right hand nervously, but otherwise was still. He soaked in every detail he could, letting the information absorb and settle in his mind.

There, on the screen, was himself.

Well, not really.

Technically, it was Jensen Ross Ackles.

Jensen was dressed up as Dean, carrying himself like a skilled hunter would, and even ruffling his hair in that nervous habit he knew he had. Jensen spoke like the Winchester, a low gravel drawl. He was beautiful, Dean couldn't deny this. Light hair, shining emerald eyes, plump lips.

"He slipped right into the role, even without meeting you" Jared stated proudly "After I told him about Sam, about your life, it was if he _knew_ you already existed. He's eager to meet you, Dean."

Dean stood up abruptly, turning on his brother, "You _sold_ us."

"I got a decent amount of money" Sam saw the anger welling in the older hunter "You won't have to hustle pool for _months_ Dean, a year at least."

"That's not the _point_" Dean growled "You sold _our_ _life _to the public! We're out, Sam! Everyone knows what we do, knows our faces, knows that we trick people with fake ID's!"

"So we get sunglasses" Sam countered, wondering why no one would see his logic "We're hiding in plain sight, Dean. This is the ultimate defense! It makes the demons more conscious of how easily we could destroy them, and the humans gain a little bit of knowledge. Maybe the next time someone thinks they're being haunted, they'll use that crazy idea from _Supernatural_ and make a salt line."

"This is a bad idea, but there's nothing we can do now" Dean all but fell back onto the bed, stretching out and groaning wearily "Dad's gonna shit, you know that don't you bro?"

"I do" Sam watched Jared read through some of his newer stories "But we'll deal with it."

"You don't think it's weird to have your boyfriend play you on a TV show?" Dean raised a brow, adoring the annoyed look his brother wore "No more real cases, Sammy. I want names, details, and facts about us changed."

"Why?" Sam huffed stubbornly "Hunters and demons alike know where we were born, how mom died, how we ride around and what we drive-"

"Some things go" Dean snapped, leaving no room for argument "No particular demon names, keep the Latin off-white, and cast actors that looking nothing like the people they project."

"You'll see why I did this in time" Sam sat down on his own bed, eyes on the floor "We're safer than ever."

Dean scowled in disbelief, eyes on the ceiling.

()()()

**Next Morning**

The sky was an ashen lavender, thin clouds hanging still in the air. The sun hadn't eaten at the expanse yet, it was still settled farther down in the horizon. The early morning air was crisp in their mouths, tasting faintly of greasy food from the 24-hour gas station down the street.

Two lovers crept out of one of the end motel rooms, putting a single finger to their lips in a show of silence. They crept past the other rooms, maneuvering around trashcans and pillars until they got to the Impala.

Jared sighed first, glad they hadn't waken Dean. He turned to his lover, lacing their hands and pulling him close enough to taste his warmth.

"He took it so much better than I thought he would" the actor's smile was radiant in the pale light "Now that he knows, he can meet Jensen."

"Mmm" Sam agreed, stealing a kiss "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know, baby" Jared murmured, their voices were hushed in the still of the morning. He carded his free hand through unruly tresses, tugging playfully. "I'll miss you more. But I've got to go. I've got to play you on TV, remember? Bring your story to life, my love? I'd be with you every second if I could, but eventually you would send me back to Kripke for my own good.""All the demons would flock to us, just to get their hands on you" Sam teased, trailing loving nips down his lover's jaw "How could they resist something so sinful yet so innocent?""Innocent I am not, Sammy" Jared tugged at his hair a bit harder, biting his ear in punishment and savoring the gasp he got for his attention.

"You are Jay, you kept it in you all this time" the hunter pulled back, dropping a lingering kiss on his supple mouth "The evil hasn't touched you yet."

//_My evil hasn't touched you yet_// Sam finished silently, knowing it was only a matter of time before the evil that seemed to follow the Winchester brothers around touched this pure heart. Oh God, and now Jensen was being involved as well.

"We share souls, pet" Jared caught the man in a searing kiss, branding him. Their tongues dueled as if they would never kiss again, as if this was their final good-bye. It was far from, but they never got a chance to be together. Dean had added stress to their time together, but it had been enough to sate them for now.

Jared pulled away to press his lips to the man's ear, purring, "Your demons are mine, so don't try and protect me. I'm a big boy, I can fight off anything that bites at me."

Sam heaved a sigh, hoping beyond hope his lover was right. They kissed again, both hands lacing in a childish gesture of '_don't let go_'…like when you spun a friend in a circle. They gave and took fluidly, wanting to savor these last minutes before Jared had to leave. More than half a year, and they were already addicted to one another like nicotine. Musky, sweet, satisfying. Gods, there was no way they would ever get tired of each other…of this.

A taxi pulled up on the road, lights off in the slowly lightening air.

Jared pulled away reluctantly, "I have to get back to Vancouver, to Jensen."

"Send him my love, ok?" Sam rasped, heart clenching at seeing the actor go.

"No way" Jared teased, stepping back slowly "It's all mine. He can get his own from Dean."

They stepped away further, hands still linked intimately. With a remorseful groan, Jared let go. He shifted his bag higher onto his shoulder, turning with a last wave and all but running to the cab.

Sam watched his boyfriend leave with deep regret, but he knew this was how it had to be. It became harder to part from Jared each time they were forced to part, but it was something he _had_ to do.

An ominous wind whipped at his hair, stinging his cheeks.

Something in the very air screamed…

_For now_.

_**TBC**_

_**So we'll fall if we must**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell{4-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Summary**: Sam meets an interesting young man, and soon finds out that he and one Jensen Ackles are more than mere actors.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**One Week Later**

The morning crept upon Vancouver like molasses, slow to drift over the trees and lingering onto each leaf with remorse. The blazing crimson line of sunlight hadn't quite reached one house, lived in by two men. Deep within it was Jensen Ross, who slept peacefully upon the coverlet. He was half-tangled in stark sheets, chest bare and soft plaid sleeping pants clinging to his hips. He didn't snore, but his breaths were almost loud in the near-silent room.

There was one other figure in the room. Tall, dark haired, pale. He was clad in a tan trench coat, his appearance very formal. The usual solemn mask he wore was broken, adoration shining through. The angel looked upon the sleeping form, knowing things were about to change.

But Father had expressly stated that the Winchester brothers and their Balances were to be kept apart no longer. For Samuel and Jared had already encountered each other by pure will, and had easily fallen in love. Jared was introduced into the occult world by force, learned all about the Winchester past, found out about his soul link with a stranger, and was generally thrown for a loop.

Thankfully, he himself had been teaching Jensen of the occult since he was very small. He had been preparing the man for this day for so long, the day he would be reunited with the rest of his soul. He had woven stories of the Winchesters out for the boy like webs, clear and shiny. It was in Jensen's teenage years that he had truly come to understand his importance, and had been restlessly eager ever since.

He knew Jensen would be ready to tackle the next part of his life, strong and able.

The angel sat down beside the man in the bed, voice hushed, "Wake up, little one."

Jensen stirred obediently, eyelashes fluttering open to reveal brilliant emerald orbs. It took a long moment before the man realized what was happening. He turned in the bed, staring up at the dark haired man curiously. Once he properly ripped through the layers of consciousness, those eyes focused and a smile curled his lips.

"Castiel?"

"Jensen" Castiel gave the man a smile "Wake up now."

"What are you doing here?" Jensen yawned, sitting up in the bed and leaning against the headboard "You haven't changed hosts."

Castiel looked down at himself, "I had to go Home for some time, and this man offered himself. That, and I have become truly attached to this vessel."

"He _is_ a handsome face" the actor teased "I haven't seen you in months."

"Things have been hectic" Castiel replied vaguely, then straightened his posture "It's time."

Jensen looked confused only a moment before realizing what the man was talking about, "Oh! Already?"

"It's been almost 30 years, enough time has passed" Castiel almost sounded as if he were teasing "Soon, you won't just _play_ Dean Winchester. Soon, you'll meet him face to face."

"Jay's already met Sam, loves the guy" the actor scratched his head, an adorable drowsy look on his face "I was wondering when it was my turn."

An anxious expression came up on the angel's face, "I'm afraid Dean won't be pleased when he finds out I'm involved in all this. He's a having a hard enough time with this, he doesn't need the added pressure of my presence."

"He'll be fine" Jensen assured him. He scooted closer, taking the angel's hand in his and laying his head on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Castiel. Dean's been though Hell, there aren't a lot of things that _do_ please him."

"I shouldn't have waited so long to pull him from Hell, I should have fought harder" Castiel sighed, letting the warmth of the human soak into him "But hopefully you'll heal him, young one. You'll be his salve and bandage for me, won't you?"

"I'll try" Jensen pulled back, but seemed unsure "I've been sore for months, ever since you returned him and told me he was back. It's like…like my _soul_ aches. It wants to comfort Dean…_I _want to be with him."

"And so you shall" Castiel dropped a kiss on light hair "Soon, my little one."

A small, content smile curled Jensen's lips.

_Soon_.

()()()

Dean really should have been paying more attention to his surroundings, honestly he should have. But he was trying to tune everything out, seeing as his brother was up there doing his look-alike. Dean was leaning against the Impala, debating whether going out and getting drunk was worth it or just saying fuck it and rent a motel room to get some sleep.

Dean didn't really want to tell his brother this, but John had stopped in a few days ago. Thankfully, Sam had been out at the library. John had needed some money, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. The bastard got away with half of the money Sam had got for the _Supernatural _idea (which John did not know about -- thank you Baby Jesus), so Dean had to find a way to stretch the remainder of the money so it took on the illusion he still had it.

That's all he needed, to make the rift between John and Sam greater.

He could probably hit Jared up for the money, God knows the guy was good for it. But apparently Jared had a roommate, his co-star on Supernatural, and four would just be crowding it. Especially with those damn dogs that they had, Harley and Sadie. They had jumped him as soon as he got to the doorway, stopping him from going in. He had been about to shove them out of the way…

But then Jared and Sam shared that _heartbreakingly_ tender look, and he just couldn't be there.

"Oh, a '67 Chevrolet Impala" a smooth voice rattled off "_Sweet_. Our copy doesn't compare, man. None of them do, actually."

Dean perked up instantly, fingers tightening around the knife handle in his belt. He turned, crouching in a defensive position. The street lights revealed a lone figure in the dark of the Vancouver night, but not a menacing one. The man looked no older than him, delicate glasses on his face and a dumb grin on his lips. He was just a bit shorter than him, hair a lighter color, and his form was a bite more sparse.

"Dean Winchester?" the man held out a hand, pale in the light "Jensen Ross Ackles, man."

"Padalecki's co-star? The one that plays me?" Dean raised a brow, taking the hand and giving it a firm squeeze "Yeah, you don't look a thing like me."

"Don't be so sure, Dean" Jensen pulled off his glasses and ruffled his hair a little, mirroring the man's pose. Dean's eyes nearly bugged, at once noting the differences and similarities between them. He had bulk on Jensen for sure, and he was more rugged. But the actor held a tantalizing prettiness to him, skin smoother and a shade lighter. His jaw wasn't so hard, and his eyes were a less intense shade of green and more warm.

"Don't doubt me" Jensen narrowed his eyes, hesitantly leaning against the car "I'm bulking up for the show, by season two I'll be there."

"Wow" Dean tried not to gape "We look…alike, but not the same."

"Like Sam and Jay" Jensen gestured vaguely "Jared's like a big puppy, and Sam's like a puppy that bites."

Dean couldn't stop his grin at this, but sobered, "You're taking this pretty well, Jensen. The whole, '_A Higher Being decided it's be fun to see if they could blend four souls and have them meet_' thing, or whatever. I know _I_ freaked, and ended up dousing Jared in holy water before I believed them."

Jensen sputtered comically, "Holy water? Oh man!"

"Sam didn't appreciate that" the hunter huffed "Damn near threw me into the wall."

"Don't touch Sam's Jared" Jensen warned "I just let them go at it, be themselves. They look happy. Jared's never as content as when he's in Sam's arms…or playing him on set."

"I saw some of the show…" Dean looked down at the ground, toeing at a pebble on the ground "You're uh, you're a pretty good Dean."

"Thanks" Jensen's smile was so warm, so unlike the expressions that decorated his own face from time to time "You are too."

"I'd hope so" Dean chuckled, a question stewing in his gut "Are you going to write in _everything_ about our lives? I know Sam signed over creative license to Kripke, but they exchange e-mails all the time. I told him to hold it back, but I'm not sure he listens."

Jensen bit at the side of his lip, "Kripke uses a lot of what Sam sends him, but he tweaks it. Some things will get left out…some things are added…"

"And Sam's demon blood?" hardened jade eyes pierced the actor "What are they gonna do about that?"

"They're adding it" Jensen couldn't lie to this man, his heart wouldn't let him "Jared wanted it in there, and Kripke couldn't deny that he was drooling for it. But it won't be until a lot later!"

"Oh" Dean clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, but didn't look surprised "Well…I guess Sam wants it to be accurate. It's a way for him to vent, to deal with all _this_."

"I can't imagine what you guys have been through, what _you've_ been through" Jensen looked around, lips pursed for a moment. He moved to stand in front of Dean, smiling brilliantly. "Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Starving, actually. Let's get something to eat."

Dean's brow furrowed, "It's almost midnight."

"We'll find something" Jensen reached out, lightly tugging at the sleeve of the man's worn leather jacket "Please, Dean? I'm locked out of my own house, and I'm off tomorrow. Let's stay up late and gorge ourselves on stuff that will keep us from seeing our eighties. 'Kay?"

Dean just couldn't say no to this guy, "Yeah, ok. Hop in."

Jensen nearly moaned at the thought, "I get to ride in the genuine Impala."

Dean knew right then that they were going to get along fine.

()()()

Jared watched Jensen go over his lines, pacing back and forth in their living room. His lips worked silently as he read, feet wearing a line forward and back in front of the couch. Sadie was following the brunette obediently, though getting a bit dizzy herself.

Harley sat by Jared feet, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes as if to express how crazy the shorter actor seemed to be.

"Jen? Buddy?" Jared called, leaning back on the kitchen chair. His fingers curled around his beer, his own script laid out before him. "You ok?""He's not like I thought he would be" Jensen replied, feet stilling.

Jared had to think hard, "What?"

"Dean" Jensen's voice was low, emerald eyes nearly hidden behind his glasses. He pushed them up casually, the light catching on the polished glass.

"Dean isn't like you'd thought he'd be?" Jared pushed "What did you think he was like? All I told you was that he was Sam's older brother, broody, and bipolar."

"He's more than that!" Jensen snapped, glaring at his room mate "Castiel said he'd be kind of-"

The widening of Jared's eyes stopped the actor, who simply put his eyes back on the script. His jaw clenched, what he had done was a big mistake. Castiel had said that he hadn't been the most positive of figures in the Winchesters eyes, and Jared was Sam's _lover_ for goodness sake.

"_Castiel_?" Jared stood, eyes narrowing "As in the 'Castiel' that pulled Dean from the depths of Hell with his bare hands? The immortal angel 'Castiel' that likes to mind-fuck Dean?"

"He doesn't do it on purpose, there are _rules_" Jensen defended his guardian before he realized what he was doing, he bit off anything else he might say "Jared, please…"

"That's who you were talking to" the younger man tisked "I should have known. I heard someone in your room, I just thought one of your friends came in and I didn't hear them. But he just _flew_ in here, didn't he? In your bedroom, while you were asleep."

Jensen threw down his script, he saw where this was going, "It's not like _that_, Jay."

Jared arched a brow, "Oh really? Because from the tone of your voices, you sounded like-"

"Stop it!" Jensen all but screamed, calming down instantly when he saw the fear register on his friend's face "That's just…_sick_. Castiel is like a father to me, if anything."

Jensen was horrified at what had been going through his friend's mind, he could still see it in his eyes, "I've known him since I was small."

"Tell me" Jared approached slowly, pushing Harley out of the way and sitting on the couch "I'm your best friend, Jen. You can talk to me."

Jensen flopped down bonelessly beside him, all but pouting, "You won't understand. Dean and Sam sure won't understand, they'll hate me because they hate him."

"_Make me_ understand, I would more than anyone" Jared spoke softly, lowly "If I understand, maybe I can convince the brothers as well. Dean will listen to his brother, and Sammy's mine. I'll convince him…but first you have to convince me, Jensen Ross."

Jensen swallowed thickly, realizing he wasn't getting out of this.

"When I was eight, I met a demon."

()()()

**Back-Flash  
****23 Years Ago**

(**AN**: I write this based on the logic that I believe that any angels that stay on Earth go through vessels every few decades or so.)

The Texas sun was obscured by grey clouds, casting the decent size Ackles farm in dull grey gloom. The wind whipped fiercely, declaring a storm would soon come. Young Jensen Ross spun a yo-yo in the backyard, watching the silver plastic go up and down. Touching his palm, brushing the grass, then his palm again. He was clearly entertaining himself, which annoyed his 11 year old brother Josh.

The boy stormed over, ripping the toy from his brother.

"Josh!" Jensen squealed, a frown marring his young face.

Josh's grin was positively wicked, "Mine now, kid."

Jensen pouted, "Why do you have to be a brat?"

They had been fighting like cats and dogs ever since Mackenzie was born, not even a year ago. All their mother's attention had been focused on the baby, which Josh never got over. Their dad was gone on a film or something, off being an actor. They only had themselves for company, and Josh had been sour company.

Josh sneered down at the silver toy, nose crinkled. He put his arm back and chucked the toy, watching it fly through the air. Jensen made a cry of protest, pathetically grabbing for it, but it was too late. It flew straight towards the bushes, stringing flailing behind it. It disappeared into the tree line, the shadows swallowing.

Jensen swallowed in remorse, there was no way he'd ever find it now.

"Go get it, chicken" Josh challenged, triumphant in his bullying "You won't, will ya? Lil' chicken shit."

"God, you're so _mean!_" Jensen yelled, starting to walk towards the trees "I never do _anything_ to you!"

When his brother just laughed, Jensen sprinted the rest of the way.

He stopped at the tree line, wondering whether to just break through the bushes or ease his way in. Josh's laughter echoed behind him, steeling his nerves. Jensen ducked through the bushes, instantly surrounded in a thicker gloom. The light was a deep blue here, sunlight changing as it filtered through the thick canopy of trees.

Jensen swallowed thickly, taking in the surroundings. The debris on the ground was made of leaves and twigs, dirt patches with roots swimming through them. There was no more than four feet between each tree, creating a maze and an infinity shot.

Jensen fought off his fear and started scanning the forest floor, trying to find his toy. He kicked aside twigs and leaves, a pout still on his lips. Josh couldn't throw _this_ far could he? He was such a mean big brother lately, he would have never done that when Mom paid attention to them both. Jensen wandered aimlessly farther into their parents land, swirling around trees with his eyes on the ground.

"It can't be this far…" the young boy mused, looking over his shoulder. The break from field to forest was impossible to tell in the thick of the trees, the shadows dancing over the brush and hiding the rest of the world. His little heart sped up like a jack rabbit, pretty green eyes going wide. There was something more in the shadows, something darker. The kind of black you find in a dark hallway, draped over a closed door.

The wind broke through the trees, whipping at his cheeks and the leaves high above his head. Jensen's fear overtook him, and he broke into a dead run forward. His little legs took him fast, dodging by trees and jumping over a fallen branch. His chest heaved, breaths ripped from him in shaky pants as he ran. He had no idea what he was running from, only that he was nearly blind with fear.

A root caught his sneaker, sending him sprawling into the ground. He gave a cut-off scream, palms out to brace himself and getting roughened up. He was nearly dizzy with the sudden fall, so he took a moment before getting to his knees. He kept his hands flat on the ground, lifting his head up enough to see a pair of bare feet before him.

Jensen's breath was still hitching, gaze trailing upwards. Bare feet, black dress pants, pale chest with bold crimson tattoos decorating every inch of flesh. The man had greasy, dirty blonde hair and…and blood eyes…deep purple rings beneath them. He wore a fanged smirk, green horns of sorts protruding from his forehead like cones.

In his clawed hand he held the boy's yo-yo, shining a dull silver in the light.

"Hello, little boy" his accent was thick, Jensen had never heard it before "Is this what you've been looking for?"

Jensen nodded, too scared to move much.

"I _did_ find it, so that makes it mine" Jensen realized the man sounded very Russian, and that scared him since it was so out of place in Texas "What are you going to do to convince me to give it back?"

"I-I…" Jensen's voice wouldn't work for him, and that scared him more than anything else.

"How 'bout I just take something from you instead? A trade" a clawed hand reached out for him, settling on top of his hair "Mmm, such a sweet boy."

Jensen whimpered, throat closing up and chest tightening. There was something wrong, his arms were shaking beneath what little weight he was putting on them. All the strength was sapped from his bones, leaving him staring blearily up at the horrible-looking man. Ruby eyes bore into him, as if knives.

Just when the man was leaning down to him, lips parting to reveal his fangs, something happened. The man was thrown away from him, landing in a heap on the ground. A lone figure stood over him, brandishing what looked like a sword. It glowed in the dim light, the being filled with righteous fury as he struck the creature in the chest. The horned thing squealed and writhed, but soon dissolved into a bit of ash on the ground. This killer stepped away, sword leaving his hand in pure light.

"Are you alright, littlest one?" the man was speaking to him, turning to gaze at him. Warm, dark eyes gazed down at him…short blonde hair, dressed formally. He didn't look menacing at all, simply…friendly.

"What happened?" Jensen was becoming indignant, he pushed himself to his feet and glared at the man "What was that! Who are you?!"

"I am Castiel, and this is yours" the man came over, holding out his hand. Jensen's puny anger disappeared when he saw his yo-yo, giggling as he took it back.

"Thank you" Jensen stated politely, his little mind working fast "That was a monster."

"That was a _demon_" Castiel corrected him gently, kneeling down to his level "And he is such an evil thing. There are many evil things out there, Jensen Ross. But you must also remember there are just as many good things, things ready to protect you."

Jensen saw the slight glow to this man's eyes and _knew_, "You're an angel."

"Yes, I am" Castiel took the boy's hand in his, warming the chilled digits "Let's get you home, shall we? There are so many things that can harm you, my boy. But I'm here now."

Jensen only nodded, but questions were forming in his young mind, "Why me?"

Castiel's smile was genuine, "For you are more important than you can understand. One day, my Jensen… One day you will understand, and I will be able to answer every question you ask."

Jensen's eyes sparkled, "Are you, like, my guardian angel now?"

Castiel chuckled, "I will always watch over you, Jensen Ross."

Jensen nodded, holding the man's hand as he stood. Castiel walked the young boy through the trees, keeping him close.

The boy looked up at the angel, "Just because Josh made me come in here, doesn't mean he has to go to Hell."

Castiel's smile was more indulgent, "He won't, don't you worry."

"Is Hell horrible?"

The angel made a show of frowning, "Just terrible. But you will never know it, my little one."

Something determined hardened in those emerald eyes, but he only nodded again.

()()()

**Present**

Jared couldn't believe his ears, but from the look on Jensen's face he wasn't lying.

"At first I thought he was just my imaginary friend, I had actual friends with those" Jensen continued "But as I got older, I began to realize Castiel was as real as I live and breathe. He would walk with me to the bus stop, I could tell he watched me on the playground. When I was so small, he would play with me when no one else would. It seems so silly now, he must have been so amused."

Jensen's cheeks were warm, but he was starting to smile, "As I began to get into my teenage years, he helped guide me through peer pressures. He kept me away from poisoning myself with too much alcohol or drugs, and he sometimes helped me with my homework. My dad was never around, Castiel was the best I had. Hell, he even held me after my real dad hit me for the first time."

Jared opened his mouth to exclaim his outrage, but the older man held up a hand.

"It was only once, and I was a complete asshole and deserved it" Jensen explained, then gestured widely "And when I wanted to get into acting, Castiel was there to encourage me. I guess he knew what I was destined for, but back then I thought he was just humoring me again. He's been dropping into my life since I was eight, and he's saved me several times. Probably more, but he never said a word about it."

"Isn't it…strange?" Jared's voice was tentative "The angel that pulled Dean out of Hell is the same angel that's been watching over you since you were a kid?"

"It's all connected, right? Like all of us?" Jensen shrugged off-handedly "Dean and I have a piece of each other souls, that's why Castiel watched over me. He was protecting me until the time was right. You know he used to, uhm…he would tell me stories of The Winchester Brothers, Sam and Dean. He would have a new story for me every week, telling me of some great adventure they had or a huge monster they killed."

"So Sam's been like a bedtime story for you?" Jared pouted "I got propositioned by a demon, where was my guardian angel?"

"You were not deemed in need of one."

Jared jumped three feet in the air, Castiel seemed to fade into view behind his best friend. Jensen was ecstatic, the angel's hand curled over his shoulder.

"Hey" Jensen squeezed him back, a strong familiarity between them.

"What do you mean I wasn't deemed in need?" Jared sounded a little hurt.

"You were such a strong-willed child, there was no need to do more than send an angel to keep tabs on your health" Castiel almost seemed relieved by this, like it was a good thing "You were so bright…demons didn't dare touch you.""Except one" Jared narrowed his eyes "The Crossroads demon."

"Mmm" Castiel let go of Jensen, looking disarmed "That was a misfortune. But you proved yourself capable, there was little need for us to intervene. Now this one…"

Castiel's voice was playful, bumping his shoulder with his charge, "This little brat drew demons like moths to a flame. I couldn't beat them off fast enough…my bright one."

Jensen kind of pouted, "It's not like I asked for it."

"This is weird" Jared declared, throwing his hands up "If you don't tell Dean, I'm going to."

"He'll find out" Castiel assured the young actor "In the right way, in it's own time."

Jared scoffed, "I don't know _what_ Sam sees in you guys, you're just annoying."

Castiel's lips quirked, but he didn't say a word.

**_TBC_**

**_Cause it's you, me_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell{5-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN:** This is kind of the Dean/Jensen show here, at least for this chapter)

It was one of those few times they were all in the same state, _Michigan_ of all places. Apparently one of the lakes had been infected with a river spirit, an evil one. Sam had explained patiently that most river spirits were neutral at worst, caring and tending to the body of water. But this one was pissed off because of the pollution, and started sucking down boats so fast the bodies were still floating when they arrived.

Just as they had finished the banishment spell, Jared had called and told them he and Jensen were taking a break three towns over. In less than an hour, Jared and Sam had dominated the hotel room. To avoid the awkwardness, Jensen had all but begged for a ride in the Impala. Dean agreed without a thought, eager to have the man with him.

But Jensen had been a bit more tired than he originally thought.

Dean drove along on one of the back roads, trees lining the way. Flickers of sunlight fell over the Impala as it made it's way down the dirt road, playing across his face and hands. Soft snoring came from the backseat, taking place of the usual Metallica or Black Flag that would be playing on his stereo. Dean glanced up into the rearview mirror, adjusting it to get a full view of his backseat.

Jensen was sprawled out on the backseat, hands folded behind his head and legs bent a little to rest against the seat. His shoes were off, and the breeze coming in from the rolled down window ruffled his light hair. He looked so relaxed, getting some much needed sleep after hectic filming schedule. The man murmured something, then hummed and settled back into peace.

Yet again Dean was struck by how different they could be while being so similar. If it had been Dean in the car with a man who was obviously physically superior, he'd be right in the front seat and on edge as he tried to assert his dominance. But Jensen just soaked up any and all attention Dean was willing to give out, smiling and charming him in return.

From what Sam had tried to explain to him, the actor was supposed to balance him out.

"I could easily kill you right now, Jen" Dean let his eyes linger on the form in the rearview mirror, then concentrated on the road "I can think of seven different ways off the top of my head."

"But you won't."

Dean nearly jumped at the comment, looking into the rearview mirror to find leaf-green eyes gazing lazily back at him. The hunter fought off a blush, locking his eyes on the road and refusing to look anywhere else. That gaze was too accusing, too knowing.

"I didn't mean it like that" Dean muttered.

"It's ok, Dean" and then Jensen was just behind the seat, one hand coming up to rest on a strong shoulder. Dean froze, ready to recoil any moment. A soft brush of lips behind his ear had him melting into the seat, eyelashes fluttering slightly.

"I know you're stronger, and I'd like to think you'd protect me from something that wanted to kill me" Jensen's voice poured straight into his ear, like honey-warmth in his bones "We're two different people, who just happen to share a piece of each other's souls. If you fight it, it's only going to hurt."

Dean nodded slowly, goose bumps breaking out wherever the younger man's breath fell.

Jensen sat back down, looking around thoughtfully, "Did you know Jared and Sam's first time was in this very back seat?"

Dean hit the brakes, jerking them both. He turned in his seat, eyes wide.

"_WHAT!?_"

()()()

Sam watched his brother curiously, barely picking at his cold fries. Dean was cross-legged on their single king hotel bed (they had booked the room as an afterthought and Dean had insisted they save money where they could.) The laptop was powered up before him, bright green eyes on the screen almost as if transfixed. The light cut through the gloom of the motel room, exposing the fascination on his brother's face.

"Ok, that's it" Sam huffed, exhausted from mentally running in circles "What could you be reading that's go you turned into a zombie?"

"Nothing" Dean dismissed him with a vague flick of his fingers "Just surfing."

"Li-ar" Sam chimed in a sing-song tone, lips curving in amusement "There's nothing you can do on there that I can't look up on the history."

"Whatever, man" Dean scoffed, by the red tingeing his cheeks showed he was desperately hoping his brother wouldn't do such a thing.

Sam never got the chance to make good on his threat. Not an hour later, the medieval witch they'd been tracking for some time struck the local university. They went in there head first, only to be bombarded by flying books. A baseball bat took care to clear the way, Dean using brute force as Sam cast a counter spell in the air from an old book.

It took a full hour of shoving aside frightened students and enchanted objects, before they found the witch. She was burning Scientific Religion textbooks one by one, muttering "trash, garbage, filthy" over and over. She looked lovely for her age, long raven-amethyst hair spilling down her back and a plump figure. But the age lines around her features showed them her true self.

After Dean made an unusually loud noise against the floor, they had her full attention. She summoned wolves to defend her, grinning a rather yellow grin at them. Sam maneuvered around them and tried to deal with the witch, ending up pinned against the wall for his trouble. Dean took the baseball bat to the wolves, along with his silver-handled gun.

But it finally came down to a pure power fight, her old magic against the demon in him. Sam subdued her with a strong mind wave, getting her on her knees. He pulled out the Colt, and one flex of his finger had the witch dead on the floor and the wolves in smoke and ash.

This was quickly followed by a bitch fight about when and when not to use the Colt…Sam won by declaring that the gun is useless if they got eaten by wolves and the witch took it.

Later, they found themselves walking back to the car in relative silence. They both bled on this hunt, each aching with the effects of it. They trudged back to the Impala, by no shadow of a doubt were they victorious over the witch. Sam's eyes roamed over his brother's body, noting every cut that leaked and every bruise-to-be forming. They were almost overpowered tonight, they both knew it.

Whether it would be acknowledged or not was a different matter, let alone _said_.

"I think we need help, Dean" Sam blurted out "I don't think we can do this alone."

Dean kept walking, one hand curled around the baseball bat while the other slipped his gun back into his holster. He slung the bat up around his shoulders, curling his wrists on each end. Dark jade eyes narrowed at the ground, lips parted in a silent contemplation of speech.

"Did you know…" Dean began, a gravel drawl "Jensen did a film before _Supernatural_? Like, an actual serious full-on horror movie. He got the lead role, all by himself. _Devour._"

Sam did a double-take, "I tell you we need help, and you bring up _that_ crappy movie?"

The death glare he received nearly knocked him off balance, Sam threw his hands up in surrender, "Not _him_! Jensen's acting was amazing, as always, but even _he_ couldn't save that worthless thing. I never knew what the fuck was going in that thing."

Dean visibly cooled, "And…he was on _Days Of Our Lives_. I know, chick crap. But _damn_, that's a cult classic. To get on there-"

"-you have to be extremely pretty, which Jen is" Sam finished, mind whirring.

Why did Dean suddenly know everything about Jensen? Just a few short months ago, his brother hadn't even known that there was someone out there wearing his face. Jensen had quickly grown on both brothers, his soft laughter contagious and his smile radiant. Dean was different with the actor around, calmer even.

Dean started up again, "Did you know Jen has about seven communities dedicated to him on LiveJournal?"

"Knock it off, man" Sam snapped, but his mind clicked just as the words left his mouth. He stopped a few feet from the Impala, his brother pausing at the trunk of the car. Curious jade eyes peered back at him, baseball bat still balanced across his strong shoulders.

"You were looking up Jensen on the internet, weren't you?" it wasn't a question, not really "Reading up on his roles and his life before us. You were curious, weren't you?"

Dean stayed silent, but he did throw the bat into the trunk.

A warm smile broke Sam's face, "You really like him, don't you?"

His brother's lips quirked for a moment, then his cool mask slipped back on, "Yeah, I kinda do."

Sam waited until Dean turned away to pump his fist in victory, //_Success_!//

Dean whirled around, eyes fierce, "And what's this I hear about you fucking Jay in the back of _my car_!?"

Sam turned red, "Uh, you see…there was this werewolf…"

()()()

Sam all but stumbled out of the motel bathroom, a towel wrapped tightly wrapped around his waist. He grabbed the remote off the table and flipped the TV, flipping briefly before settling on a specific channel. Dean watched his brother curiously, carefully putting down the gun barrel he was cleaning. Sam scrubbed absently at his hair, all focus on the screen.

The opening for _ER_ played.

"_ER_?" Dean's eyebrows show up to his hairline "You can't seriously _like_ that show? Don't we have enough blood and drama in our lives?"

Sam gave his brother a dirty look out of the corner of his eyes, then focused on the screen. In a moment, Dean realized why his brother was so intent on the screen. The guest star on the show was none other than their own Jared Padalecki, pouring his heart into a dramatic role.

The room was silent, except for Jared's voice drifting through the air. Then the show went on, the main characters conversing on the screen. Sam's attention wasn't so rapt, the parts without Jared were just plain boring. He dug through his duffle bag, pulling out a worn hoody and a pair of jeans. Dean turned his eyes towards the opposite wall, giving his brother what little privacy that could be given in their two-bed hotel room. Sam dressed quickly, he kept glancing at the TV just in case.

Sam all but collapsed on the bed, pulling the hood tight over his damp hair. He let the scent wrap around him, propping his head up on the pillow so he could keep watching. The scent clinging to the hoody was his Jared's, a light body spray which his lover adored and the underlying musk that was purely male. He buried his lower face in the sleeve, drowning. He felt Dean's eyes on him, like a solid pressure on his body.

"I know, it's pathetic" Sam sneered, voice muffled "But you can still shove it, Dean. I miss my boyfriend."

Dean almost sputtered, but recovered quickly enough to keep some composure, "I didn't say…I wasn't _thinking _that, Sam."

"Oh really?" the brunette snorted in disbelief, eyes never leaving the screen "Then what _were_ you thinking, Oh-So-Sarcastic One?"

Dean fingered the gun barrel, carefully considering his answer. He slid the barrel back into his gun, clicking it into place. He sighed heavily, bottle green eyes sticking to the ugly coverlet on the motel bed. He decided to admit the truth, and fought down the fierce blush on his cheeks.

"I think it's good…it's awesome, actually" Dean began, tracing the silver line of his gun handle "What you two have is special. You're soulmates, man. _Literally._ Don't feel ashamed cause you miss him, I get it."

Sam looked up in surprise, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. He simply stared at his big brother in amazement, caught completely off guard. His mouth opened to say something, but it closed immediately. What _could_ he say? Dean was never open for chick moments, he always said they left a sour taste in his mouth. To admit something like that…Dean must have been keeping that in for a while.

Usually Dean would tease him that his boyfriend wore his face, or just call him a bitch for moping around when they should be celebrating their recent hunt (just a random haunting, nothing huge.)

Dean's gaze drifted up to the ceiling, eyes glazed over dreamily, "Maybe Jensen and I will turn out like you and Jared."

Sam nearly lost his breath.

Dean's face contorted, looking as if he were sucking on a lemon, "I'm starving. You hungry? I think that deli down the street's open."

Sam knew his brother had more than half the money he got for selling his idea, so all he did was nod. Dean knew his favorites, so with a nod of confirmation the older man left.

Did Dean just admit hit feelings? His desires? Sam knew that Dean and Jensen had been getting closer with each meeting, bonding over the Impala and a mutual love of gas station food. Sometimes Sam would just catch them looking at each other, quiet for some time before breaking into equally warm smiles.

Sam sat up, grabbing his laptop to type out a letter to his lover.

Surely Jared noticed too?

()()()

**A Week Later**

Jared and Sam were standing outside some ratty motel, peeking around the corner of the building. Jared was all but clamoring over his lover, trying to see over his head. Eventually he huffed and ducked around his long torso, head barely peeking out over the curve of his hip.

"What are they doing?" Jared whispered.

"I'm…not sure" Sam replied, narrowing his eyes at the scene "Bonding?"

Jared snickered silently, "Dean looks hungry."

There in the parking lot was the Impala, parked with her hood up and Judas Priest pouring out of the speakers. Jensen was nearly bent over into the inner chamber of the car, his arms almost out of sight inside the machinery. Dean was standing out to the side, a look of admiration on his face.

"So cool" they heard Jensen say, pulling his arms out of the machinery. His wrists and hands were streaked in dark grease, but the young actor didn't seem to mind. Dean ripped his eyes away from Jensen, opening the driver door and slipping inside. Jensen nearly jumped when the car and roared to life, but there was nothing short of joy in his eyes. He rubbed at his cheek, leaving a streak of grime behind. His white t-shirt suffered next, his palms staining the stark material.

"She runs as smooth as butter" Dean declared proudly, leaving the car to stand beside the man. They talked quietly for a few minutes, heads together. Sam and Jared strained to hear them, but all they got was the sound of their own sneakers shuffled against the pavement.

"He does look hungry" Sam commented quietly, watching the ardor bloom on his own brother's face. Dean shifted behind Jensen, innocently pushing him until his thighs let the car's front bumper.

"Dean…?"

"Feel her purr, man" Dean shadowed the man's hand with his own, guiding him down towards the engine. Jared tugged at his lover's shirt tail almost violently, making distressed noises. Sam hushed him, both looking on in cautious fascination.

Jensen and Dean were pressed flush back-to-chest, leaning a little into the car. Dean's arm stretched over his, holding his palm down upon the engine to feel the vibration. It was like some strange soft-core porn, and Sam felt a little guilty about looking upon it.

Was Jensen's chest trembling? Was that a quickening of breath? There was no indication at all that the actor was repulsed or uncomfortable.

"I think they're in love" Jared purred in his lover's ear, pressed close to his side.

"They can't be…" but even as Sam tried to protest, the truth was clearly in front of them. Dean looked as if he was savoring the contact, getting all that he could out of it. He almost buried his face in Jensen's light hair, subtly drinking in his scent. Jared nearly giggled when Jensen's eyes drifted closed, a small smile quirking his lips.

Then Dean drew back out of fear, stuttering something out that made Jensen smile a secret smile. The younger men observed the delicate dance between the two, wondering why they were stalling for something they both really wanted. It was kind of stupid, but who were they to judge?

"Enough of this" Sam turned away from the sight, seizing a fistful of his lover's honey brown hair and stealing a harsh kiss "How 'bout you give me a ride?"

Jared's grin was positively wicked, "All day long, baby."

()()()

Sam dropped Dean off with a quick, "I have a quick stop to make, the occult bookstore here is supposed to be good."

"Yeah, yeah" Dean waved him off rudely "But if Jared gets bored and starts humping Jen, I _will_ shoot him."

Sam shrugged, taking the wheel, "Deal. Tell them I'll be back soon."

Dean just nodded, the Impala taking off.

That left him alone in the middle of the night, on a street in Vancouver, in front of a house he had never been inside. He took in the surrounding area, knowing he wouldn't forget the way here again. The last time he was here he met Jensen for the first time, and he was distracted that night. Canada was a big place, and the border was a bitch. Plus, this was one of the few times they'd actually sought out the actors. Mostly, they had all met at different motel rooms and sometimes in long-rented apartments.

But Jensen was in there, and that was all that mattered.

Dean walked up the drive, getting himself ready for the assault the demon dogs were going to make on him. He went up and raised his fist to knock, but already heard the barking.

"Stupid things" Dean steeled himself, knocking tersely.

The door opened, and no preparation in the world could have made him ready for what happened.

The dogs distracted him for a minute, jumping up his legs and clawing at him. Dean crouched down, wrapping an arm around each and petting them roughly.

"Hey, you little bastards" the hunter cringed at the licks he got in return, pushing them away gently.

"Uh, Dean?"

Dean looked up, jaw dropping instantly. The shock of what he saw made him physically drop to his knees, losing his balance completely.

Jensen was standing in the door, flushed so pretty and looking down at him with wide eyes. He was, er…dressed up. A white button up covered his chest tightly, the first few undone to reveal a nice slice of chest. There was a black tie tied loosely around his neck, a stark contrast against the shirt. A black jacket was over it, showing off his trim waist. And a…a plaid, plaited skirt brushed the actor's knees.

Jensen was in a Catholic school-girl uniform.

Dean's mouth went dry, "Jen?"

"I can explain this" Jensen gushed, complete mortified "Jared found this stupid thing in the back of his closet, and we were wondering-"

Dean shot up, trapping the man with his arms and silencing him with his lips. Jensen didn't make a sound of protest, just moaned and wrapped his own arms around his neck. They kissed like they were starving, an aggressive attack of swollen lips and hot tongues. Jensen tugged the hunter inside, knocking the door shut by pressing his weight into it.

Dean almost couldn't believe this was happening, but he couldn't stop himself. His hands raked over the man's form, shedding the dark coat from his lean shoulders. He had wanted this for so long, the idea festering in the back of his mind only to be released in his dreams. At first he thought the attraction was only because Jensen was hot, and the narcissism comment didn't escape his mind. But then he got to know the man and…and Dean's heart just _ached_ for him.

That hole in his chest was filling up with each stroke, each glide of lips, each shared breath.

"We waited too long for this" Jensen moaned, hands bracketing the hunter's face lovingly. He looked into those eyes -_darker than his own_- and searched for the truth. "Do this because you want to, Dean. Do this because it's right."

"It is, Jen" Dean's voice was pained, he hurt every moment he wasn't pressed against the actor.

"_God_, Dean" Jensen purred, tasting the hunter's jaw as he rubbed against him like a cat "I want you so much, my fuckin' _soul_ is screaming for you."

"Who are we to disobey?" Dean flashed a smirk, then seized a fistful of highlighted hair and took his mouth. They stumbled backwards, Dean's shoes being left behind along with his jacket. They didn't break their kiss, wanting to keep the slick connection. Jensen almost fell backwards onto the couch, but strong fingers splayed over his lower back and eased him down instead.

Something in Jensen tried to stop this. It was screaming at him, begging him to slow down and get upstairs to the bedroom. Their first time should be slower, on a bed, and without him dressed up in some stupid uniform that Jared had dug out of his closet and dared him to wear. But there was a so-much-larger part that wanted this rawness, wanted everything Dean could give him right now. It didn't matter how it went, all that mattered was that Dean's solid weight was pressing him down onto his couch.

"Jen" Dean whispered adoringly, peppering kisses all over that light caramel skinned neck "_My_ Jen."

Jensen's heart fluttered like a hummingbird in his chest, breath catching.

Dean smirked when he saw this, "Want to be mine, Jen?"

"Bitch" Jensen murmured affectionately, thrusting up and enjoying the moan he ripped form the other when their hips met "We belong to each other."

The hunter's eyes flashed, "I can go for that."

Then their lips were sealed again, hands wandering. Jensen moaned when Dean's hands ran up the sides of his legs, kneading the muscles. He managed to twist his arm up over the arm rest, and with an arch of his back he had hand inside the drawer. Dean ripped himself away to feast on his neck, determined on making a mark to claim him. Jensen let him, grinning insanely when he found the lube. He passed it to Dean, slick palms meeting.

Sweat had broken out on their writhing bodies, shirts sticking itchily and breaths coming in gasps.

Dean's fingers skimmed along the skirt hesitantly, "Let me…?"

The actor brushed their lips, eyes dark, "Always, baby."

Dean's fingers ran up strong thighs, finding tight boxer-briefs in his way. He growled, all but ripping them down the man's legs in a red tangle. Jensen flushed darkly at the action, shivering when he was exposed.

"Mine" Dean breathed, something akin to awe in his voice as he rucked up that crisp white shirt enough to place worshipful kisses in the quivering dip of his belly. His hands slid up his legs, the plaid material skirting higher with each slow stroke. They could barely contain themselves, but it seemed for a moment that this was important. This intimacy, touching places they knew they shouldn't…the taboo of the situation made them savor it. Both had played by the rules their entire lives, living up to what was expected of them.

Their fathers, siblings…all to please someone else.

What they had here was for themselves, and they were both a little selfish about it.

Jensen spread his legs wider with a gasp, calloused fingers skimming his inner thighs, "Dean…"

The prayer broke the spell, and everything went faster than it really should have been able to. Dean pushed the skirt up higher, mouthing sweet kisses along the pale skin of his lover's inner thigh. His golden stubble nearly burned, it left skin tingling in it's path. He slicked his fingers with the lube, breath starting to catch when Jensen lifted his hips obediently.

"Can't wait to see your face when I'm inside you, Jen" Dean's voice was rough, slipping a finger inside the man. Jensen whined low in his throat, eyes dark with passion as he moved against the intrusion. "Been wanting this for so long, can't take another day without you. You want it too, don't you honey?"

"Always" Jensen arched again, taking two fingers in him. He threw his head back, his very soul on fire with this touch. Was it this good for Jared and Sam? Surely not, he'd never felt anything as good as this. Sure, he'd taken it from other guys, but it wasn't this intense. Castiel had told him of this, that when they finally got together it would be reconnection of their souls more than it would be sex.

"Fuck me _now_, Dean" Jensen growled, the hunter looked shocked to hear the gruff demand that sounded so much like a Winchester "Before I flip you over and fuck your ass in a skirt."

"That's my Jen" Dean grinned, pulling out his fingers so he could unbutton his own fly. He fumbled with his belt, but managed to shove them down his thighs enough to free his aching cock. Something in him had demanded he go commando, and now he was glad he had listened. He was highly aware of his lover's eyes following his movements as he slicked his own cock, so ready and willing to just take and give what they had both been wanting.

Jensen hitched his legs high on Dean's waist, feeling the hot breadth of his cock brush his thigh. The skirt was bunched along the line of his hips, nothing short of fire exploding along him when their bodies aligned. Lips brushed just before hips pushed, taking all of him in one stroke.

Their was the barest of pauses, where eyelashes fluttered and moans escaped reddened lips.

"Fuck, you feel good" they both exclaimed, chuckling breathlessly at the sync they had.

Then Dean started thrusting, shallow at first but quickly picking up the pace under their need. Jensen couldn't get enough of the look of pure pleasure on Dean's face, seeing him so lost in his desire and unburdened was a relief after his horrible altercation in Hell. Neither was sure how long it lasted, they were caught up in each other.

Even through their shirts, the heat was unbearable. The actor's tie dug into Dean's muscled chest, but it only added to the over-sensation. Jensen mewled when a sweet friction was added, something past the bliss of having Dean inside him and the feel of stubble burning down his neck. Barely focused emerald eyes drifted down to where their bodies connected, heart jumping when he saw the hunter's cut hips cradled between his own bare thighs.

Dean was _his_ in these moments. Each thrust sealed this further…Dean was no longer _just_ John's soldier, _just_ Heaven's pet project, _just_ a victim of Hell, _just _Sam's brother and protector, _just_ a Winchester.

He was Jensen's lover now, and he wouldn't give that up even if Castiel's burning hands tried to pry them a part.

But the sensation came from where their shirts had slipped up, exposed stomachs shiny with sweat and sliding together with each thrust. Just that section of skin meeting so intimately sent sparks through his spine…to imagine what it would feel like to have every inch of flesh pressed together…

Would they live through it?

"Can't last, baby" Jensen hissed, ripping his eyes up to his lover's face. Dean looked so far gone, lips parted to reveal the slick inside of his mouth.

"Close" Dean choked out, crashing their mouths violently. The thrusts got harder with each second, a desperation taking hold of them. "Come on, Jen. My beautiful Jen…come with me…"

"_Dean_!" Jensen's back curved almost painfully, head thrashing as his orgasm burned through him. Dean found his release through the tightening of his lover's body and the look of gratification on his handsome face, spilling his seed.

The next few minutes passed in bliss, silent except for their heavy breathing and content sighs. Dean slipped from his lover's body, but collapsed on top of him. Jensen smiled sweetly, watching Dean pull up his pants before curling around him. His fingers felt like lead, but he managed to lift one and lace them in dark brunette hair.

Dean nearly purred, loving the feel of Jensen beneath him. His lover's thighs were still bracketing his hips, and he wouldn't want it any other way. With a stroke of his hand, the rumpled skirt covered the actor in a semblance of dignity.

"That was carnal" Jensen pointed out, a little more Texas drawl than he would have liked slipped into his voice.

"It was hot" Dean murmured, caressing the man's hip sweetly.

"You're mine now, Dean" Jensen stated firmly, letting his fingers dig into the hunter's tan neck "No more club-rats, no more barmaids, no more one-night stands. Only me now."

Dean nodded automatically, finding himself eager to obey and make his lover happy, "Do you think we can do this? 'Cause I can't lose you, Jensen. Not to get mushy, but I've been looking for you all my life without knowing it."

"You won't lose me, baby" Jensen assured him, managing to pull him up until their lips bussed "Our souls are together again…and to pull out a cliché: I'll _knife_ anyone who tries to take you from me."

There was movement from the stairs, "Hey Jen, are they here ye-…_oh my God!_"

Jared nearly fell down the rest of the stairs, hands clapped over his eyes.

"Now you see what I have to put up with?" Dean stated, looking over his shoulder "You and Sam having sex in the bed beside me when I'm asleep isn't so funny anymore, is it?"

Jared shook his head, blindly making his way to the front door, "I'm just going to go outside to wait for Sam."

"Serves him right" Jensen squirmed, nose scrunching cutely "You're heavy, Dee."

Jared got the door open, a wicked grin on his face as he looked through his fingers at them, "I can't wait to tell Sam that Dean fucked you while you were wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform."

Jared ducked outside, narrowly avoiding the couch pillow that was aimed at his head.

_**TBC**_

_**And it's all about…it's all about**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell{6-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: If you figure out where the character 'Xander' is from, you get a virtual cookie**)**

Jared was sure he was dreaming, but he couldn't prove it. He was on his own bed, in his own **room**…everything the same as when he went to sleep. Even the color of his boxers were the same. But he had to be dreaming, because his Sammy was standing at the end of the bed. The man was grinning down at him, slowly stripping off his shirt. That sharply toned body was revealed to his hungry eyes, denim clad knees easing onto the mattress.

Jared sat up on his elbows, an easy grin curling his lips as well. Sam looked so sexy, crawling up the sheets to straddle the actor.

"Sammy…" Jared sighed, his lover ducking down. Those lovely hazel eyes peered into his, portraying what he was supposed to believe was innocence. Sam didn't say a word, only let his hot breath bathe the actor's cheek and jaw. Jared found himself pressed down into the mattress, the weight more crushing than comforting. But not by any physical touch, Sam seemed to emanate a powerful aura that froze his muscles to the core.

"Sam" Jared squirmed in protest, his lover moving down his body. They didn't touch, but the pressure was increasing to the point where his lungs were straining. He always knew his lover was stronger than him and could probably crush him with his demon powers, but this was different. It didn't feel human at all, not even a trace of his Sam.

This wasn't his lover.

Sam's breath washed over his stomach, the pressure increasing dramatically.

Jared clenched his eyes shut, something stirring deep within him.

"Stop!"

When Jared opened his eyes again, he knew he was awake. He was panting for breath, a cold sweat slicking his brow and chest. For a moment he was still frozen, eyes desperately roaming the ceiling for a bit of consolation. Then the vice disappeared, he swallowed air like a starving man. He scrambled into a sitting position, sensing someone else in the room.

There, at the end of the bed. Sam wasn't there, but Castiel was. The angel held up a struggling man, face contorted in concentration. The man had on black silk and leather, tar black hair, pale skin. But then the man showed his true self, eyes flashed bright crimson before he ripped himself away from the angel. Castiel lunged for him, but the demon ducked away and disappeared into the shadows.

"Castiel?" Jared croaked, back flush against the headboard. His heart was going a mile a minute, and once the demon was gone something primal settled down in his chest.

"He's gone, Jared" Castiel walked over to the bed, sitting down beside the actor and looking him straight in the face "He didn't touch you."

Jared searched desperately in the dark for the demon, even if he wasn't there the fear was, "What was that?"

"A horrid thing" Castiel sounded disgusted "An incubus of sorts."

"It was going to rape me…for my life energy?" Jared sunk down in the bed, adrenaline dropping suddenly "I can't take this.""Hush, go back to sleep" Castiel pressed two fingers to the actor's forehead "We'll talk when you awake."

Jared was out in a second, mercifully dreamless.

()()()

When Jared awoke again, he was tucked into a bed that wasn't his own. Waking was slower after that instant-sleep Castiel gave him, everything seemed to go in slow motion for the first few seconds. He was warm, and he felt safe. Someone was clutching his hand, and he knew instantly who it was.

"Sammy" Jared's lips curled, eyelashes fluttering briefly before he could open them.

Sam was sitting beside his bed, one of the actor's hands laced with his own. That radiant smile he adored split his lover's face, relief in his eyes.

"You're awake" Sam brought his hand up, bussing a kiss on the knuckles "Are you ok, babe?"" 'M fine" Jared wiggled out from under the covers, wrapping his arms around his lover. He was embraced in return, surrounded by the smell and warmth of his Sam. For a second, it was just them. Near copper brown strands brushed against his face, warm breath on his neck, those wide-palmed hands rubbing the base of his back and curling over his hip.

"I missed you" Jared confessed into his lover's ear.

Sam smiled, turning his head to kiss the actor's ear, "Missed you something terrible, Jay."

Jared suddenly felt the tension in the room sink in, he pulled away and saw why. The motel room was just a two queen, not much bigger than his own bedroom. Castiel stood by the window, thin off-white curtains parted enough to let the afternoon sun wash over him. Dean was on the other side, half-pacing/half-huffing and full-on glaring at the angel.

Jensen was somewhere in the middle, the only thing that kept Dean from tearing the angel apart.

"What was it, Cass?" Dean asked suddenly "What's coming after us?"

"Sometimes demons mix, make hybrids. This thing is a demon-incubus, free-thinking and unbound by any guideline or loyalty. It doesn't limit itself the usual rules, it doesn't always wait for its victims to sleep or even until the cover of nightfall. These horrid things are bred from much higher-level demons and usually pick a bloodline or a certain group, then track and torture them for as long as it exists."

"Is it coming after us?" Sam stood, his lover sitting at the edge of the bed "The Winchesters?"

Dean suddenly looked alarmed, "Is our Dad going to be ok?"

"He'll be fine, this demon doesn't want the Winchesters alone" Castiel turned, meeting Jensen's eyes "I'm sorry I didn't inform you before, Jensen. I didn't think he would go this far."

Worry bloomed on the actor's face, "What is it after?"

"I do know what his actual name is, but the demon has adopted the name of his host. _Xander_. And he's been watching you since birth…all of you" Castiel explained, trying not to see the anger in Dean's eyes "Some beings can sense the soul bond between you more than others, like this one. I encountered him several times in my protection of Jensen, but he was always on the sidelines. I had truly hoped he was only morbidly curious, like I found some demons and angels to be. But now that he's made an open attack like this…I realize now he wants it."

Jensen was almost afraid to ask, "Wants…what?"

Castiel sighed, "Your souls."

"Oh shit" Dean hung his head, scrubbing at the back of his neck "_Damn it_!"

"It's not that surprising" Sam cocked his head to the side, thinking it over "The pure energy our four inter-connected souls emit must be like…heroin for these kind of demons. We must be giving off signals all the time, drawing them to us like moths. And now that we're all together-"

"-we're more tempting than ever" Jared laced his fingers with the taller man, a bitter smile on his face "The signals are stronger, the energy brighter…we're active."

"Like a God-damn battery" Dean looked over at Castiel "Is there anyway we can turn this off? A spell we can use to block the…the _signals_ or whatever?"

"Do you want _really_ to tamper with a connection this strong?" Castiel tisked, giving Dean that '_are you really that stupid?_' look "Even if you succeeded to subdue your very soul, your emotions would break any flimsy magick that could be conjured."

"Well aren't you freakin' brilliant?" Dean scowled "Then what do you suggest, O Mighty Smiter?"Castiel conceded, "I suggest…that you four stay together."

Dean blinked at him, trying to process this, "What?"

"I want you to take Jared and Jensen with you" Castiel stated "I want you with them at all times."

"Again, _what_?" Dean was ready to internally explode, these angels pissed him off to no end "You want us to just drag our boys out of their careers, out of their _lives_? It may be too late for us, but at least they have a _shot_ at a normal life! I'm not about to drag their asses all over the country to chase monsters!"

"Do you think I _want_ to put Jared in danger? Or Jensen, for that matter?" Castiel tensed with his anger, voice raising "I spent the last 30 years _protecting_ him, do you think I truly want to put him in _your_ care? You two, who can't keep yourselves out of trouble! Between trips to Hell, getting diseased by ghosts, trying to please your unappreciative father, trying to _kill_ me, going dark side, and getting yourselves _blown_ _up_; I'm barely sure you can take care of yourselves let alone your Soul Balances!"

"That's enough!" Jensen shouted, both going silent and ashamed "I can't take your bickering anymore! Just stop it already! The two of you are going to drive me up the wall!"

The actor paused, lips pursed as he tried to calm himself, "I care about you both so much, but if you can't get along, then you can't be in the same room."

"I didn't mean to upset you, Jensen" Castiel spoke softly again "There's no other alternative. You and Jared are in a business that requires constant social interaction…and since you four look alike, I think isolation would be best."

"We can't take them on hunts, they won't be able to handle themselves" Sam pointed out "And what's the point if we just have to leave them alone in motel rooms all the time?"

"Train them" the angel looked between the actors "Surely you two are willing to learn what your lovers can teach you?"

"There's no way I'm staying by myself again" Jared declared, standing and lacing his arm with his lover's "I'm coming with you…in the back of the Impala or as a car following, it's your choice."

Jensen and Dean met eyes, "Dean…"

"No."

"I'm not going to be helpless anymore" Jensen approached his lover, cupping his rough cheek. He got up close, looking up a little into dark jade eyes. "Teach me, Dean. There are demons out there that want to kill us, take the connection we have."

Jensen's voice hardened, almost a growl, "And I'm not going to stand by and let them."

"I wanted you untouched from this" Dean confessed, shadowing the hand on his face and nuzzling into it "But I can see that it isn't gonna happen. If we do this, Jen, I don't want you to get cocky and rush head first into things. I want you to hang back, let me and Sam do all the heavy lifting."

Jensen nodded eagerly.

"Well, I'm in for this" Dean stated, sparing his brother a glance "What about you, Sammy?"

Sam let his hand slip from his lover's, settling it around his waist instead, "I told you this would happen, Jay. I told you that if I hung around too long, the darkness would touch you."

"Calm down, pet" Jared's voice was low, his smile sweet "All you have to do is teach me not to scream like a girl every time I see a ghost, and we'll be fine. Besides…now we'll be together for more than a night."

"Yeah" Sam didn't like this plan, but it was the only option they had "I'm in too, then."

Castiel nodded, pleased, "I'll be going then."

He didn't make it halfway to the door before Sam stopped him, "Castiel?"

The angel looked the younger Winchester over, "Yes, Samuel?"

"Why didn't Xander touch Jared?" Sam inquired, Jared gave him a pinch for this "Ow, what? It's a genuine question! Xander had you right there in his grips, but he just lingered around?"

Castiel looked suddenly uncomfortable, "Jared…called me, in his own way. I got there before anything horrible could happen."

Jared was curious, "I called you? Like, subconsciously?"

"Yes" Castiel tone implicated that he would say no more on the matter. He walked over to Jensen, who managed to pry himself away from his lover. "It may hurt your career, Jensen, but you need to stay with these two."

"I understand" Jensen's lips curled in a smile "Now go do angel-things."

Castiel's own lips quirked, he brought the man in a brief hug. Castiel walked past Dean, they exchanged fierce glares. Then the angel was outside…gone in a flash.

"Jen…" Jared looked hesitant "This isn't really going to hurt the show, is it?"

"No, man" Jensen waved him off "The last episode ended the season. We'll have some time off, anyways. The only thing we'll miss is the press conferences and all that jazz."

Jared glanced at his phone, which was on the bedside table, "What are we gonna tell Kripke?"

"We could tell him the truth" Sam offered.

Dean looked over at him curiously, "Really?"

"No" Sam replied, deadpan "Just tell him you need a vacation."

Jensen snorted in amusement, "Together?"

"Well, people already think we're getting nasty together" Jared rolled his eyes "You invite one guy to live with you, and suddenly you go from fabulous to _fab-u-lous!_"

Dean lost it at the gay-lisp the man took, nearly doubled over he laughed so hard.

()()()

**Next Morning**

They found it wasn't really that strange, sleeping with their lover while the other couple was in the room. Of course, that's all they could do. They all kind of agreed that if they were going to stay together in one motel room, they would at least have the courtesy to warn someone so they had time to get out of the room.

The morning would have been hectic, except for when they awoke there were two extra duffle bags in the room. Upon inspection, Jared and Jensen found it was filled with their clothes and personal items. The older actor laughed instantly, realizing what was going on. The other gave him curious looks, just making him laugh harder at it all.

"Castiel" was all Jensen said, his smile fond.

Dean and Jensen were out and about first, taking the Impala down to the nearest gas station and filling it up. They brought back Cheetos, Zingers, oversized muffins, and coffee. The Winchesters found out quickly that Jared wasn't one to be up before he had to, so Sam spent the first hour of their leaving ritual pouring coffee down his throat and ushering him into the shower.

Dean and Jensen carried the four duffle bags out to the car, the hunter's eyes shielded from the strengthening morning light by his favorite sunglasses. But, of course, Jensen's strange ADD kicked in and he found himself caressing the hood of the Impala.

"This car is amazing" Jensen was kind of speaking to himself, fingers skimming the shiny surface "You're _soooo_ lucky, Dee…my first care was a Ford truck. Do I look tall enough for a Ford truck?"

Dean tossed his duffle bag a little too harshly into the trunk, arranging the extra bags to keep out of the way of all the other stuff in there. One of the guns got tangled in the strap of Jared's duffle, so he busied himself with it longer than necessary. Jensen realized what his lover was doing and bristled like a cat, he took off his sheer crimson sunglasses and put them atop his head.

"Do we have a problem?" Jensen really didn't want to know the answer, not if the answer was what he thought it was.

Dean slammed the trunk closed, a scowl on his face, "You and Castiel."

"Maybe I should have told you myself" Jensen began quickly, afraid his lover's mood would turn in a moment "But Castiel has been watching over me since I was a boy, and I care about him. I'm sorry you two don't get along-"

"He sent me back in time and made me relive my mother's torture and murder!" Dean exploded, shucking off his own sunglasses and tossing them into the gravel. His jade eyes were blazing, all his fierceness locked on the actor. "He almost gave me a brain hemorrhage because he conveniently forgot humans can't tolerate an angel's true voice! He and the other stick-up-the-ass angels have left Sam and I to fight on our own! Not to mention, he told that me if I couldn't control my brother…_they would_. Do you know what that means Jensen? It means my brother damned and killed!"

"Only because Sam was going dark side, and you knowit" Jensen tried not to raise his voice, but how this man infuriated him "Angels can't interfere as much as you would like them to. There are _rules_, Dean. There are rules Castiel wishes he could break, but he can only bend. He sent you back in time to try and make you understand…the way he's made me understand over the years."

"You're brainwashed" Dean scoffed.

"And you're a fool, Dean Winchester!" Jensen snapped, anger on his face "Castiel pulled you out of Hell with his bare hands, he gave you a second chance. There are no strings to a second chance when it comes to angels, and I don't care what anyone says. You have a higher purpose, and he's just here as a messenger! He's done all he can to help you along, but they are a fighting a war all by themselves. There are so many demons in the world, so much evil, and it gets stronger every day. Evil only breeds evil, you know this!"

Jensen stomped his foot like a child, "Why are so hostile towards Castiel?!"

"Because I can't be what he is to you!" Dean admitted, gesturing violently.

Jensen went so quiet, swaying on his feet as his anger left him in a rush, "…what?"

"He's been with you from the start, he knows so much more than I'll ever know about you" Dean was glaring at the ground now, unable to meet his lover's bright eyes "I mean…you two are close. I can see it in the way you look at him, the way he looks back at you. Our souls may be bonded…but he's, like, your family. I can't compete with that."

"Dean Winchester…" Jensen mock-sighed, walking up to his lover and throwing his arms around him "I don't know whether to smack you or kiss you for how much trouble you cause me."

Jensen stole a kiss, surprising the other so much it was no more than two mouths meeting, "But…"

"Dean, my soul craves yours. You make me whole…we couldn't get much closer if we tried" Jensen's smile was heartfelt, calming the hunter's nerves "Castiel all but raised me, and I love him for helping me become the man I am today. It's a natural instinct in me to defend him, and it's even more natural that you would hate him. Don't compete with him, because you two are completely different things in my life."

Dean cringed at the next words that came out of his mouth, "Do you love me?"

"Much more than I love him" Jensen swore, then found his lips seized in a real kiss. They stood there in the warm morning air, arms around each other and kissing for all they were worth. Dean did this lip-nibbling trick, and it made the actor shiver.

"Are you two done fighting?"

They turned, finding Sam strolling out with his laptop. Jared was close behind him, a cup of coffee to his lips and his thick jade-toned shades over his poor eyes. He was suppressing yawns and dragging his feet, but awake.

"Yeah, we're done with our _Lifetime_ impersonation for today" Dean snatched his sunglasses off the ground, pushing them onto his face "Everyone into the car, we've got a job in Roseburg, Oregon."

"From Vancouver to Oregon, three days" Sam stated.

Jared raised his fist in mock enthusiasm, "Yay…road trip."

Dean started suddenly, whirling on them to point accursedly at the younger men, "You two…you don't get to sit in the back together!"

Sam and Jared exchanged a confused look, "Why?"

"Because there will be no more sex in my car!" Dean almost turned away, but added as an afterthought "Unless it's me doing it."

Jensen victoriously pumped his fist in the air out of Dean's sight.

"I can't believe you two" Dean kept grumbling, sliding into the front seat "And you, Sam, I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"What was I supposed to say?" Sam inquired, easing into the passenger seat and putting his laptop by his feet "That I saved my secret boyfriend -who happened to have my face- from one of the werewolves we were _supposed_ to slay and missed."

"Then…" Jared continued, his accent creeping in his voice without his permission "We got all hot and bothered, started making out…and before you know it, we're rutting fast and hard in the back seat of your beloved car."

Dean actually cringed, "Thank you Jay, for adding that my mental library. _Really_."

"That was my contribution for the morning" Jared murmured, swallowing down the rest of his coffee. He stretched himself out as much as he could on the back seat, head nestled in the firm crook of his best friend's thigh. "Night, all."

"Goodnight, Jay" Sam turned around in his seat, running a comforting hand down his lover's side and causing him to purr "Sleep well, baby."

Jared murmured something, then he was fast asleep.

Sam's fond smile stayed on his face, turning to face the road. Jensen chuckled to himself, running his hand gently through Jared's hair. The car started up, Dean pulled out of the parking lot with a flourish.

"Dean!" Sam shoved his brother in the shoulder when he peeled down the street, foot flat on the floor "Do you _want_ us killed?"

Jensen was laughing in the back seat, "Faster!"

//Oh God// Sam nearly slammed his head into the dashboard, jaw clenched //Now there's _two_ Dean's!//

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (all about us)**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {7-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: I have never been to any of these towns. Every one I've asked about it has said that the area of the country is barren and hot and there's _nothing_ out there. But, like I've said, this is a severe AU.)

Driving together wasn't hard, it was actually kind of fun. Once Jared awoke, there was a happy flow of banter between them all. The stops at diners weren't a problem either, Jensen and Jared pitched in their own money so as not to deplete the supply. The motels were dingy and seedy, but every night they spent in their lovers arms was worth it.

Except at one motel, where Jared got hardcore hit-on by these biker-studs that had checked in next door. Sam hadn't really handled that well, and he had knocked one man over easily with his mind before he was dragged back to the room. That night, Jensen and Dean hung out at a waffle house while Sam damn near fucked Jared through the wall. Later, Jared happily confided in his best friend that Sam made sure those bastards heard them for at least an hour.

They had both laughed.

They stopped at a gun shop halfway to Roseburg, deciding there and then that the lovers of the Winchesters would not be unarmed. Sam and Jared went in first, unsure.

"I'm from Texas, like Jen, I can shoot a gun" Jared stated, standing with his lover amidst all the violent angles "But I'm really not sure what I'm good with."

"We're going to get around to training you both after we're done with this teen-ghost in Roseburg" Sam stated, examining the glass case that held so many hunting knives "Would you be more comfortable with one or two knives?"

"One" Jared stated automatically, fidgeting "How 'bout we just get a pistol or something?"

"Jay, this is serious" Sam turned, giving his lover a hard look "We're fighting _monsters_, here. Evil things. Things that go bump and will not hesitate to bump you off. I'd feel a lot better in a fight if you were armed and could take care of yourself."

"Ok" Jared conceded, seeing the man's logic. Sam gave him a warm smile, putting his hand in the dip of his lover's back and leading him towards another section.

They left with a shotgun strong enough to withstand rock salt and a copper-colored pistol that matched, not to mention the sturdy knife that was now strapped low on his side.

Jensen nearly jumped when they left the store, grabbing Dean by the sleeve and exclaiming, "Our turn!"

Dean had never seen something as intriguing as his lover tittering around that weapons store. He kept bouncing back and forth between the shotguns and the pistols, clearly torn. Then the knives caught his eye, and he hovered there for at least ten minutes. He seemed to favor a knife…not just any knife, though.

Perfect subtle curve, ebony handled…durable, well-built.

Dean knew that it had caught his boy's eye, completely and utterly stealing his heart. He eased up behind Jensen, wrapping his arms around his waist and placing his chin on his shoulder. One of Jensen's palms rested at the bottom of the glass, the other digging into his boyfriend's arm.

"See something you like, baby?" Dean all but purred in his ear, grinning when the man shivered "Pick anything you want, honey…anything and it's yours."

"This knife…and the black machete down the aisle" Jensen turned, stealing a kiss for each item he listed "The third shotgun from the left…the silver .45 pistol right at the front…and maybe…sweetest Dean…I can get a tazer too?"

"No tazer" Dean was having none of that, all he needed was his boyfriend shocking himself.

Jensen was ready to throw a fit if need-be, "But Dean, I _want_ one."

Sure, he could probably buy them himself. But there was really no fun in that, was there?

Dean sensed the upcoming fit and whipped out a stolen credit card, "Ok, ok! Look, I told you anything you want, so that means anything."

"You are the best, and you won't regret it. You can personally teach me how to handle each and every one" Jensen gave his lover a last kiss, then darted out from between the aisles.

"Yo! Big guy in the front!" Jensen snapped his fingers, getting the employees attention "We have what we're here for, can you unlock some cases for me?"

()()()

Soon they were in Roseburg, a town where one of the local teenage ghosts was taking revenge on all it's old school mates. Young teens who made some wrong decision in life…all dying one by one in horrible ways. Sam had tried to take the calm route and ask the ghost to stop, only to be thrown down a flight of stairs.

After Jared got done babying him, Dean had decided it was best to do a good ol' salt-and-burn.

So that's how the four ended up in a cemetery in the dead of night, even the moon gave off no light. The Winchesters were waist-deep in the grave of the young boy, sweat beading on their brows as they dug deeper. They were hoping it was only six feet deep, because this town wasn't big enough to hide their activities if someone decided to look in.

Jared was completely against this, mentally exclaiming how disrespectful it was. But he knew it needed to be done if they wanted to save so many young lives, and he obediently held the flashlight. Jensen stood as a kind of guard, constantly peering into the darkness and circling around them.

"Jen" Jared stated warningly "If you pace by me one more time, I'm going to get whiplash just before I punch you in the head."

"Sorry" Jensen stopped, pulling his dark coat further around him (it was actually one of Dean's spares) "I'm a little paranoid, ya know?"

"First hunt" Dean grunted, pushing the spade into the packed earth "Not surprised."

Jared eyed the shotgun hanging heavy in his friend's hands, "Do you even know how to shoot that thing?"

"Decent enough, I _am_ from Texas" Jensen ran his fingers down the barrel "It'll have to get sawed off a bit, but I think it's going to serve me well."

"You're weird" Jared sighed, angling the flashlight from where he let it sink.

Jensen made a mocking noise behind him, but the smile gave him away.

The cemetery was silent for some time afterward, the dirt pile beside the grave grew steadily larger. The wind started to pick up, ruffling hair and clothing. It was about the time that their spades struck solid wood that things started getting weird.

Jared saw it first, tearing himself away from watching the Winchesters open up the coffin. Jensen was looking off to the left, missing what was right in front of them. It was a pale face, thick glasses framing sunken eyes. His clothes were ragged and torn, bland.

Jared completely spazzed, dropping the flashlight, "Oh! Jensen, shoot it! Shoot it!"

"Shoot what?" Jensen tightened his grip on the gun, whipping around until he saw the ghost child "Oh, _that_…ok!"

Jensen raised his gun, firing the rock salt. The ghost let out a wail, shimmering out of view.

"He'll come back, stay ready!" Dean called, ripping aside the wood so his brother could get salt on the decomposing remains "Don't loose focus."

"Focus" Jensen murmured to himself, shotgun still settled against his shoulder and lined up. The ghost shimmered back, scowling. Jensen shot again…and again. But even as Sam started up the Latin Releasing Ritual, the actor did something Daddy Ackles told him never to do. He led his shot, inching closer with each hit. By pure instinct he kept getting closer, three shots gone.

"Jensen, stop!"

But Jared's call was worthless. The ghost freaked out when it appeared again, hand extended. The shotgun was knocked out of his hands, and his neck was seized in an invisible grip. Jensen choked pathetically, scratching at his own skin in an attempt dislodge the ghost.

"Hurry" Dean hissed at his brother, scrambling for his own Zippo.

Sam finished the ritual with a shout, casting a last dash of salt and kerosene from a flask on his hip. Dean dipped the lighter, the body billowed in flames. The brothers scrambled out of the hole desperately, nearly singeing the ends of their pants and hair.

Jared ran for his best friend, but the ghost was gone in a billow. The actor dropped to the ground, panting a little and holding his neck. The younger man dropped beside him, running a hand down his back.

"Jen?" Jared was almost afraid to ask if he was ok.

"I'm fine, it's cool" Jensen jumped up after a moment, grinning widely "Wow! What a _rush_, man!"

His friends just stared at him like he was crazy.

Jensen all but bounced up and down, "Can we do it again? That was _soooo_ cool!"

Sam just elbowed his brother in the ribs, "He's _your_ Balance, _you_ get to make sure he doesn't run right into a cave of vampires."

Dean almost pouted, "Why do I get the crazy one?"

()()()

They were just entering Utah when they made another three day stop. Three mysterious hangings with no witnesses and no physical signs of foul play. Sam had pointed out three deaths were a pattern, and Dean had agreed to stop. The older brother was already itching for another case, which worried Jensen.

So there the were, sitting in the middle of Snowville, Utah. Jared and Jensen lounged in the back, the humidity nearly getting to them. Sam and Dean were a bit stiffer, suits clinging to their strong frames.

"You both look _very _handsome" Jensen informed them, his best friend too busy feeling up Sam to comment "And you're _sure_ you've never been caught doing stuff like this?"

"No one's ever seriously called us out" Dean replied, holding up the flip-wallet that held his badge and ID "Not with these."

"Good luck" Jared placed a last kiss on his lover's cheek "Make sure you find out about their mental stability. The families were no help at all."

"We've done this before" Sam murmured, cupping his lover's smooth cheek for a long moment "Now stay by the car and be good."

Jensen and Jared shared a sideways glance, lips quirking.

They all left the car, determined. Sam and Dean straightened their jackets and ties, putting on their game faces. The Winchesters strode confidently across the street, their destination in their sights. A man left the building they were heading toward, looking no younger than fifty and adorning a faded grey suit. He had a briefcase in one hand, the other curled around a cane.

The brothers exchanged a glance, both noting that they would have to treat this a bit gentler than usual.

"Dr. Romanov?"

The old man lifted his head, peering at them from behind owlish glasses, "Yes?"

His accent was a thick Russian, unusual in Utah.

"Sir, I'm Agent Ross" Dean began, taking his lover's middle name "And this is Agent Way. We're with the FBI. We're here to talk to you about three of your patients."

The old man simply glared until they flashed him their badges.

"I'm sure you mean Misters Wentz and Foreman, and Mrs. Stephanie" Romanov drawled, setting down his briefcase "Unfortunate."

"Yes" Sam nodded "We'd like to know your opinion on something. Were your clients capable of committing suicide?"

"Never" the doctor folded his hands over his cane, posture straight "Not that anyone would believe the words of an old man. Their families seemed receptive to what the police told them…no matter how shameful."

"Were your patients having nightmares?" Dean inquired "Seeing things?"

Dr. Romanov hesitated, gesturing with his chin, "Who are they?"

The Winchesters turned, realizing the man meant the two at their car. Jensen was standing on the right side, arms folded on the top of the car and crimson sunglasses on his face to project casualness. Jared was a little more obvious, leaning against the hood with his hands resting on the surface. His bangs were the only thing shading his wandering eyes.

"Body doubles" Dean stated automatically "This job is dangerous. You always need back-up."

"So you do, so you do" if the doctor was unconvinced, he wasn't showing it.

"Doctor, your patients" Sam pressed "Not to be disrespectful, but they _are_ dead. Doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't really come into play at this point."

"I was their psychiatrist for only two years, one for the woman. Miss. Stephanie was having awful nightmares, things would come out of the shadows for her" Romanov sighed wearily, pain on his face "Wentz would swear things followed him home at night, always in the trees or bushes so he couldn't see them. Foreman would come to me with…with scratches on him. Down his back, his legs, his arms…they all appeared after he awoke."

Ideas were forming in Sam's mind, but he had to be sure, "Did you give them anything?"

"I could not help them like they needed" the doctor cleared his throat, fighting back emotion "I could only help them sleep."

Dean jumped to conclusions, "You told them to kill themselves?"

"No!" Romanov punctuated his shout with a thump, his cane striking the pavement "I gave them sleeping pills, to calm them! But it only made it _worse_!"

Romanov barked something at them in Russian, picking up his briefcase and hurrying to his car. Before Sam could even apologize for his brother, the car pulled off the street and disappeared around the corner.

Dean noticed all the people staring, "Maybe we should…"

Sam seized his brother by the crook of his elbow, taking him a bit further down the street. Dean stumbled at first, but complied to the silent demand to shut up and follow. They stopped at an alley opening, half hidden by the corner of the building. The younger man cast a look back at the Impala, then focused on his brother.

"I have to tell you something, and they can't know" Sam's voice was low, urgent "But you have to swear not to get angry."

Dean was kind of thrown, "What about that thing hanging people?"

Sam waved it off, "It's just a shadow spirit. They get kind of out of control sometimes, play the Boogeyman to humans. They usually prefer to make the human kill themselves, torturing them to the point where they snap. We just have to hunt it down, burn some rosemary, and say a few words to banish it."

"Oh" Dean nodded "Then, go ahead. Swear, man, I won't get mad."

"You will" Sam sighed, chewing his lower lip (he already looked so guilty) "Remember when I…uh, slept with Ruby to increase my demon power?"

Dean's whole expression hardened, "But you broke that off."

"Yeah, I know. She's a bitchwhore and she only wanted me for my abilities" Sam rattled off, getting anxious "Well, even when I didn't care, I could tell when my power increased. It's like…after we were done fucking, there would be a thrum inside my chest."

"Well, _that's _not super disturbing" Dean was ready to barf all over his brother's shined shoes "Is there a point to this?"

Sam nodded meekly, "Every time I sleep with Jared…"

"No, Sam" Dean pushed his brother away, storming down the ally.

"Dean, _please_!"

"Don't tell me this, Sammy" Dean all but begged, turning to look at his little brother "I don't…this can't…"

"I'm sorry, Dean" Sam ran a hand through his hair "Every time I sleep with Jared, I get that same thrum…except it's in my whole body. I feel sturdier, more connected…I'm getting _stronger_, Dean."

"No!" Dean growled, aiming a swift kick at s trash can. It flew almost five feet, catching the ground and rolling further down the ally. The younger man didn't even flinch, knowing how his brother could get. Dean paced like a frustrated tiger, jaw set and hands clenched into fists. It was a full minute before he could even begin to speak.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this" Dean kept his eyes on the ground, still pacing the breadth of the ally "This was supposed to be untouched by this kind of shit. They're the other parts of our souls, holding a piece of us that was still pure. They were our salvation, and you're tarnishing it!"

"Our _salvation_?" Sam scoffed, it was easy to get angry "Do we need saving so badly?"

"What was it you said to me, Sam?" Dean looked up, pausing and glaring "We can't even _pretend_ to be Joe The Plumber, we're freaks. I am, you are, and now we've dragged Jen and Jared into it. I thought it would be ok, that they would stay untainted…but now this…and that demon after us…"

Sam narrowed his eyes, "It's not Jared doing this."

"Well, you sure as hell can't do it by yourself, Sammy!" Dena's laugh was bitter, ever bit of him screaming sarcasm and frustration "I thought this soul connection would _fix_ you."

"I'm not broken" Sam's lower lip quivered, unsure what to do with his hands. He ended up clenching at the sides of his pants, a little lost and a whole lot of upset. Dean faltered, he stopped moving all together and stared at his brother. The silence was pregnant, heavy and hollow between them.

"I didn't mean it like that" the older man huffed, jade eyes weary as they settled on his sibling "I'm just worried, you know that. I gave my soul to save you, Sammy. Ever since…I came back from Hell, I've been afraid you'd turn. When you stopped seeing Ruby, I hoped…"

"I'm not going dark-side" Sam assured him, voice hushed "You didn't trust Ruby, I get that, cause she was as dark as they come. But you trust Jared, right? Nothing that comes from him can be evil, right?"

Dean conceded, although reluctantly, "I trust Jared, and what you guys have. It can't be too horrible, I guess. Whatever."

Dean went to walk past his brother, but a solid hand clamped down on his shoulder.

"Sam…" Dean winced, his brother's fingers digging into his flesh.

"Don't tell Jared" Sam's voice was firm, leaving no room for arguments "Don't tell _anyone_."

Dean conceded once more, "I promise, Sammy."

()()()

(**AN**: If you own the Jensen-Ackles math equation icon, I totally stole this from that**) **

They made another pit stop in a small town just west of Montrose, Colorado.

Sam picked the location, making sure it was a hick town and no one would get too suspicious. They parked the Impala around the corner, then crept up to the local high school. Dean managed to pick the window locks, and all four slipped into the school. They played around for a bit, ducking into each room that Dean could pick. Jensen played a sexy math teacher for all of about five minutes, at least until he tried to write a math equation on the board.

Dean demanded to see some work, and the actor ended up writing down:

Y = (sin(x^(1.7/6)+4)+(1/x)+10.

Sam had been the only one to ask, "Where'd you learn that?"

Jensen just grinned at them, "If I lay out and you trace the curve of my ass on a graph, that's what you get."

Then Jared decided to live out his fantasy of being an equally sexy chemist, but after the first homemade smoke bomb he was dragged out of there. Sadly, even though he admitted it was hot, Sam made him leave behind the lab coat.

Now, Jensen and Dean were playing a friendly game of 'Winchester'. It was a lot like 'Horse', only a little more rough and lasted longer. They were just killing time anyways, and the gym was pretty big. They took up half the court, the other half was semi-covered in blue training mats.

Why? Because it was time Jared learned to defend himself.

"Ok, this is simple enough" Sam instructed his lover, both standing a bit of distance away from each other "Just focus on your opponent. Use his weight against him. Block with your forearm, it's the easiest pain to take. Protect your head, kidneys, groin, all the vulnerable spots."

"Right" Jared nodded, making a show of understanding. Really? He was trying not to ogle his lover in that white muscle shirt and those loose jeans. The actor felt a little bare, his jean cut-offs exposed his calves and his black wife beater wasn't exactly form fitting.

"Jared, I'm going to come at you" Sam warned him, holding his hands out palms out "Just go with your instincts, ok? Don't worry about hurting me, you can't."

Jared nodded, swallowing hard, "Alright, I'm ready."

Sam lunged at him, and it all went to fast. Jared panicked, too many instincts hitting him at once. Run, dodge, counterattack, duck…moves came to his head that he hadn't ever used before. It was as if another, more primal side of him wanted to come out.

But all that happened was he ended up with his arm twisted up the middle of his back and his lover's breath in his ear, "What went wrong?"

Jared appreciated how unjudgmental his lover sounded, he blew his bangs out of his eyes, "I panicked."

"It's ok" Sam stated, letting the man go and stepping away "You just need to calm your mind down. Focus on one instinct, and then go with it."

Jared nodded, bracing his feet and stepping away, "I'm really ready this time."

"Once more, then" Sam sighed, mentally counting to three.

Jared was actually ready this time. He saw Sam going for his wrist, and it wasn't so overwhelming. He brought his palm down on the man's forearm, striking firm. The taller man's hand was knocked away, so he stepped back.

Sam nodded, "Good, keep the momentum."

Sam swung at his head, so he had just enough time to grab his fist and swing it to the left. This gave him enough of a chance, and he took it. Jared got behind his lover in one swift move, hooking a forearm around his neck and bracing it with his left hand.

"Good" Sam breathed, his lover smiling triumphantly when he realized it only took a matter of seconds to go through all the motions. The hunter got out of the hold, ducking and turning to dig his fist in the man's stomach. Jared sputtered, almost doubling over from the force.

Sam cringed when his lover fell to the ground, wheezing for breath.

"Jared?" Sam was almost afraid to look "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Jared lunged up from the ground, grappling his lover to the ground. They fought fluidly on the ground, each punch blocked and swung away. Jared went for the hunter's throat, but damn-near got his wrist broken. They stood on their feet, determination in their eyes.

"You can fight a little" Sam sounded surprised.

Jared really didn't have a good answer, "It's not me, man."

They threw kicks and punches, getting minor bruises and learning at the same time. Jared memorized everything Sam said to him, every move they made. Interactions, reactions…his mind filed it away automatically. He didn't know where he got that spin kick that caught his lover in the side, and he didn't know how he could swipe aside punches with a firm move of his forearm.

But then Jared got a little carried away, and socked the hunter straight in the mouth. He gaped dumbly, dropping his guard completely.

"Sam! I'm _so_ sorry!" Jared freaked "That was stupid, I wasn't even thinking straight!"

Sam merely flashed him a wicked grin. The hunter ducked, swiping a leg out and taking his lover down. Jared found himself screaming indignantly, ending up flat on his back on the mats. Sam covered his body in a moment, hooking a leg over his shoulder and pinning one of his wrists.

Jared panted hard, flushing brightly at the position. Sam was still grinning, eyes dark. His heavy body held the actor down easily, bending him in half with the hold he had on his leg.

"That was a cheap shot, Beautiful" Sam's voice was a low growl, keeping his lover's struggling hand pinned while the other pawed at his shoulder "Give up."

"No way" Jared took one look in those dark eyes and knew Sam wasn't teaching him anymore, so he went limp and let his lover control him "You win, pet."

"Mmm" Sam dipped down, nuzzling the man's slick neck "You're so pretty when you fight."

There was a loud catcall from further down the room. Sam let his lover go, releasing his wrist and his leg. They both looked over, finding Dean the one whistling while Jensen turned a shade of red neither had seen before on the human face.

"So, uh…" Sam cleared his throat, standing up "You were doing really well there, you're catching on fast. Let's start on round two, ok?"

Jared nodded, willing down his hard-on, "Yeah, ok."

_**TBC**_

_**All about us (all about us)**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {8-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: I want everyone to know that I SUPPORT Wincest to the 'nth degree. I don't know how I'm writing a SPN story and not putting it in here *shrug*)

Jensen entered the phone booth, slipping two quarters into the dulled metal coin slot. The dirt road stretched miles before him, and the dinky shack posing as a gas station didn't help ease the infinity shot. He glanced back at his friends, sighing. He wiped the phone ends off on his pants leg before putting it to his ear, fingers dancing over the keys in a familiar pattern.

The phone only rang twice.

"Momma" Jensen sighed in relief, his mother's warm drawl coming over the line "Yeah, it's me. How have you been? Good. Me? Uhm, I'm ok."

"_Out of all the times this could happen!"_

"But we're having a bit of trouble here" Jensen explained calmly "No, Momma, nothing like _that_."

"_In the middle of Bum-Fuck, Nowhere!"_

"Yeah, I'm taking a little vacation" he informed her soothingly "Jared too. Yeah, he sends his love…now, Momma, I know we haven't talked much lately and I'm sorry. But I need a favor."

"_Aghhh!"_

"My boyfriend's car broke down" Jensen explained, pointedly not looking at the steam that poured out of the Impala as he pushed up his glasses "We're kind of in the middle of nowhere in Utah, and there's only an old ATM. Since you have second control of my account, I'd hoped you'd wire some money into my checking account."

Dean started throwing a fit by kicking up dirt, frustrated beyond compare.

"Yes Momma, I know you're only second to the account for precaution" Jensen nodded obediently, listening to his mother's lecture "Yes, I know I only keep a minimal amount on me and in the account. That's why I need you to wire the money, the parts are expensive…because the car was made in 1967. _No_, it's a good car. Ask Josh, he'll tell you a '67 Chevy Impala is amazing."

"_No good piece of-"_

"_Dean!"_ Sam cut him off _"That's your baby!"_

"Yeah, I didn't mean to drop that bomb on you" Jensen put a finger in his free ear, concentrating on his mom all the way in Texas "I'm seeing someone…yes, he's a great man. He's strong, and very handsome. Yes, he's very good to me."

"_I was talking about these cheap parts, Sam!"_

"No, he doesn't want me for my money" Jensen sighed, but his mother's fears weren't completely unfounded "He doesn't even know I'm doing this. He's teaching me to be a better man, Momma…why do you want to know all _that_?"

Jared came out of the gas station with four bottles of water.

"_Uh, that looks worse than when I went inside."_

"Fine" Jensen turned a new color of red "He's got dark hair, dark green eyes. He's tan, he's got some bulk…and he has a light Kansas twang in his voice…because he's _from_ Kansas, Momma. Woah! Mother! You can't say things like that about my boyfriend! …_no_, you cannot have a picture! Not with those kinds of fantasies in your head!'

"_Shut up, Padalecki!"_

"_Well, it __**is**__ smoking, Dean."_

Jensen looked over just in time to see his lover strip off his shirt, the Utah heat already making him sweat. Dean dove into the smoke, trying desperately to at least cool his baby down with the bottles of chilled water. Jensen felt the sweat bead on the back of his own neck, but he still smiled.

"Yes, Momma" Jensen's tone softened "He makes me _very_ happy."

()()()

Somewhere between the border of Utah and Colorado, they found a patch of trees. There was just enough to hide the Impala from the road as well as them. Sam was keeping his lover cool, using his power to make a particularly large leaf fan his flushed face. At first Jared protested the use of his powers, but if felt really damn good in the humidity.

But Dean took his lover deeper into the wooded area. They lugged all the weapons with them in one duffle bag, it was time to get some training done on their own. There had been a few sessions as a group, and the actors were learning a lot. But one-on-one was much more effective. They chose a rather cleared area, the lining of trees perfect for their purpose. Jensen shed his t-shirt, nerves fluttering like moths in his belly. His undershirt was sticking to his stomach a bit, but he was slowly adjusting to the heat.

"I'm surprised you haven't burned or melted" Dean commented, reaching out and trailing a finger along his lover's bared shoulder.

"I'm not _that_ pale" the actor protested, but only because it was true.

Dean dropped a kiss on the light caramel skin, "That's true, but getting you all worked up is way more fun than complimenting you on your pretty skin."

"Jerk" Jensen muttered, punching him lightly in the arm.

"Ok, you wanted it so bad, you got it" Dean stated in all seriousness, pulling the tazer out of the bag "This is only going to work on humans and almost anything with a physical form. Minor distractions for demons, very effective on water-based monsters."

"Cool" Jensen eyed the man "I'm not going to shock you, if that's what you want."

"No way, I do enough of that myself" Dean grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes "The first rule of carrying a tazer is that you have to know the effects it has on something."

Jensen tensed all over, but he wasn't going to give up his new toy so easily, "So shock me then."

"Front or back?" Dean felt physically ill about hurting his lover like this, but it was the basic rule of weaponry. Dean and Sam both went through it with John, and now Jensen would with him.

"Front" the actor replied, planting his feet in the ground and looking forward. He didn't want to make Dean feel any guiltier, but he felt like he could take on the whole world when he was looking into those dark jade eyes. He blocked out everything but those eyes, missing the click and buzz of activation.

Dean stepped closer and stretched out his arm…

Jensen cried out as if he'd been shot, eyes clenching shut and body seizing. Every muscle contracted at once without his permission, from his heels curving in a painful arch to his neck thrown back. He moaned low in his throat, muscles giving way once the device was taken away.

Dean caught his lighter-framed lover easily, cradling him in his arms. Jensen's breath was catching, fists clenched in the man's green t-shirt. The hunter soothed him as best he could, one arm around his waist and the other rubbing his back and shoulders. His voice was low, assuring.

"You're fine, Jen, you're fine. You did so well, Sammy cried his first time."

Jensen took only a moment to soak in the comfort, he knew his lover wouldn't hurt him.

"I'm not some little girl who can't take a punch" Jensen shoved his lover away, the pain slowly trickling out of his limbs "What's the next weapon?"

"Jen, honey…"

"I'm fine" and he was. He felt kind of empowered now that he wasn't collapsing in on himself, the shakes leaving his fingers and knees. Dean nodded reluctantly, knowing the man was strong-willed and wasn't going to let a shock take him down. The hunter rummaged around in the duffle, jaw set.

"Knives" Dean pulled the handsome weapon Jensen had first eyed in the store, ebony handled and catching the light once it was unsheathed "Good for close combat, surprise attacks, threatening, carving sigils. You can hide them almost anywhere on your body. The small of your back, hip, boot, wrist."

Jensen only nodded, absorbing.

"Like this-" Dean held the knife formally, blade pointing towards the sky "-it's an offensive weapon. Stab, twist, pull, cut through sinew and muscle."

Dean made the motions in the air, one by one. He handed the knife over to the actor, then pulled out his own. Jensen repeated the motions, his lover nodding in approval.

"But like this-" Dean held his own blade parallel to the ground, blade sticking outwards towards the tree line "-it's a defensive weapon. Swipe, lash, _make_ them back off."

Jensen hesitantly copied the movements.

"Again."

Jensen repeated them twice, his movements becoming much more fluid as he went along.

Dean let out a low whistle, "Damn, boy. You learn fast."

"It's like it's coming to me…" Jensen looked down at the knife in fascination, his own eyes reflected back at him in the polished surface.

They practiced a little longer with them, Dean taught the man a few maneuvers. They practiced blocking and gutting in one stroke, the down-shoulder strike. If you sliced open the back of the ankle, it would take down anything that needed blood to live. Dean wanted to have him practice with the machete, but after Jensen took down a branch in two clean swings he decided it wasn't worth it. The actor spun a tale about how his dad would make him and his brother chop wood for years, so he was pretty good with sharp objects that needed a bit of muscle behind it.

"Do you have your contacts in?" Dean questioned.

Jensen grinned, "Of course, I don't do anything without them."

Soon they moved onto the guns, and Jensen showed his skills with his new shotgun (they had sawed if off enough to make it easier to handle.) Dean called out directions and instructions: _monster to the left, behind you, above you, to the right, coming low, head and heart to the left, duck, above you_. It took Jensen only a short while to get into the rhythm, following each instruction without hesitation.

Two reloads later, Dean was satisfied.

"I did good?" Jensen was smirking, a thin sheen of sweat on his skin.

"You did so good" Dean assured him, but he knew his lover knew that "But no more leading the shot. You can't approach your prey _as_ your shooting it."

Jensen sighed as his father's words left his lover's mouth, "I understand."

Dean went to the duffle, pulling out the final weapon he wanted to go over. "Now, anything can be a weapon. Your elbow, knee, head, fist, foot, broom pole, loose board, candle holder, letter opener. You just have to be aware that everything you see is a weapon, and we call it-"

"A weapon of opportunity" Jensen finished, his lips still curled.

"But this is just a weapon" Dean held up the .45, letting it catch the light "You picked it out, but can you use it?"

Jensen confidence wavered a little at this, "I'm not as…comfortable with it as I am a shotgun."

Dean's smirk was absolutely wicked, "Then I'll have to teach you."

Dean's way was not an effective way, this he found out the hard way. Jensen held the gun up to a carved out target on the tree, the gun cradled just right between his palms. Dean stood flush behind him, arms stretched alongside his lover to keep his form right.

Jensen shuddered at the hot breath in his ear, the firm curve of his lover's thigh pressed to his. How the hell was he supposed to concentrate with his uber-hot boyfriend all but tonguing his neck? Oh, ha-ha. Distraction technique, you had to be ready for anything and block out all the rest.

"If you can make four shots in a row, we're done" Dean murmured to him "In a line."

Jensen fumbled dramatically, his first two shots didn't even hit the tree. He growled in frustration, ready to toss away the gun and shoot it with his already-favored shotgun. But Dean held him still by his hips, not letting him throw a fit.

"Again."

The word was a simple command, and he could follow it. He was off his mark for the better part of two rounds, and Dean even had to swivel him to face another tree.

"If you can't handle me…" Dean began, his voice had an edge "What are you going to do in a horde of vampires that are aching for your blood? Werewolves that want nothing but a taste of your flesh? Demons that want to figure out how you tick from the inside-out?"

"The mixture of fear and arousal that those words put in me…" Jensen sighed, aiming the gun without the help of his lover "It isn't healthy, man."

He fired off four shots, getting them in a perfect row.

"That's my boy!" Dean turned him around suddenly, planting a fierce kiss on his lips. Jensen chuckled into the kiss, the gun dropping to the ground unnoticed. He wrapped a hand in short brunette spikes, bringing him harder into the kiss. They lost minutes to just touching, feeling…a triumph.

"You know" Dean pulled away, breathless as he mouthed the soft line of his lover's jaw "If we're kinda quiet, and we get behind that tree-"

"I can't promise quiet" Jensen gave his lover a lip-bite-lowered-lashes look "I can only promise good."

"And I'm more than ok with that."

()()()

Jensen stirred, a sound ripping through his subconscious. There was movement beneath his palms and cheek, a blunt pain in his shoulder. He forced himself out of sleep, blinking several times before his eyes focused properly. Soft, warm black cotton filled his gaze. It took him a moment to even realize where he was, and when he did he smiled.

They were in a motel in a fairly large town (for once.) Kripke was still between ideas for season two, so they were still off the hook for their jobs (Jared kept tabs.) They couldn't come right out and say that Jared and himself were being chased by some kind of demon who wanted their souls, now could they? Jared and Sam were probably still at the library, looking through the local archives for any info about the abnormal deaths that had been going on around here.

Jensen focused on the present, pushing himself up to find Dean asleep beneath him. Somehow the actor had gotten him down for a nap, it had consisted of pouting and promises of a paid dinner. Deans had been looking very world-weary these past few weeks on the road, and he'd been chasing cases since he got back from Hell. Jensen knew what he needed, so he had laid down with the hunter in hopes of getting him to rest as long as possible.

But that seemed hopeless.

Dean's sleeping face was contorted in pair, every muscle clenched. The tendons in his neck stood out against tan skin as he shifted thrashed from side to side. Dean's strong fingers were digging painfully in the swell of Jensen's shoulder, the other hand clenched in the material of his t-shirt. Sweat beaded along his brow, slicking his back.

"Dean?" Jensen sat up, eyes etched with worry.

Dean's lips curled around so many words, but only was choked out, "…_Jen_…"

"Baby, I'm here" Jensen cooed, wincing as the man's fingers dug deeper into his shoulder "You're dreaming. _Please_ wake up."

Dean jerked, eyes flying open. He started to scramble frantically, kicking and shoving away Jensen and the covers of the bed. Once Dean realized where he was, he started to calm down. He was still looking around nervously, chest still heaving.

"Dean?" Jensen sat up on the bed, prying the hunter's fingers from his skin "It's just me, baby."

"Jensen…" Dean sighed, eyelashes fluttering in relief at the sight of his lover. Jensen found himself encased in a hug, the hunter's flushed face burning into his neck. That lovely, almost golden stubble upon his lover's cheeks didn't help…but Jensen found he didn't care less. He held him tight, hoping desperately to chase away whatever plagued his lover during his sleep.

"Was it a vision?" the actor inquired softly.

"Nightmare" Dean grumbled, inhaling the man's scent a moment longer before pulling away. He eased off the bed, making sure he could stand on his weak knees before padding slowly to the bathroom. Jensen watched on helplessly, on his knees in the covers and trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do here. If this was some sort of test, like one to prove how deeply they were connected, he was surely flunking it big time.

"If you need to talk…" Jensen began, but realized how lame he sounded and stopped.

Dean looked over his shoulder, a coldness deep within his eyes, "You wouldn't understand, and I can never explain it to you. This is something, I have to deal with…alone."

Dean went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Jensen gaped after his lover, not sure whether to be more hurt or angry.

//I am his _Balance_, I _have_ to help him// Jensen's jaw clenched, looking so much like Dean set in his determination //When all this is over, I have a choice to make.//

_**TBC**_

_**There's a thing that they can't touch**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {9-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: Anyone else have a 501 kink? *drool* This is basically a filler, crack chapter**)**

Sam waited patiently for Jensen and Dean to get back from Long John Silver's, but he was freakin' starving! He was all but bouncing on the bed, his laptop out in front of him. He had hoped to find something supernatural in the town, but the closest he got was watching _Supernatural _on TV.

It was kind of a kink, watching his lover play him on TV. The characters were so similar yet so different from their real selves, just as he had written it. Dean would never admit it, but they had gotten more than one free meal because of their faces and people were more likely to believe them when they finally had to yell at them to get out of the house because it was haunted.

"Aren't they back yet?" Jared whined from behind the bathroom door, the shower cutting off behind it.

"Sorry, Jay" Sam replied loudly, looking up from his screen. He was instantly mesmerized by the tale of Bloody Mary, almost a case directly from their real life. He put aside the laptop, scooting to the edge of the bed and watching. Jensen seemed so at ease as Dean, and Jared as himself.

He was just getting really into it when the bathroom door opened.

Jared emerged in a billow of fog, a towel thrown over his head and wearing pants. Not just any pants, oh no. Those threadbare pair of 501's Jared owned, riding the lines of his hip bones. Not as sharp as his own, not as defined, but soft and noticeable. They pooled at his feet, worn at the knees. And then those buttons… God! The buttons! Dull silver, enhancing the line of his groin. One long line…

"Jared" Sam sighed breathily, cock hardening so fast he got dizzy.

"Hm?" the actor scrubbed at his hair, then tossed it back into the bathroom. His honey hair stuck to his head, clumping into thick strands. He gave the hunter a smile, the simple act lighting up his face. Beads of water clung to him all over, lingering around his navel and trailing his chest. Sam knew they would taste sweet on his tongue, his mouth was dry at the thought.

"You don't even know…" Sam swallowed hard "Jared, I could _eat you_ right now."

The man's brow creased, he looked down at himself, "What? I'm not even _doing_ anything."

Sam stood, taking his lover by the back of the neck and stealing a fierce kiss. Jared made a slight noise, but didn't complain as his mouth was claimed so resolutely. Sam manhandled him towards the bed, one good push had him knocked off his feet. Jared wind-milled his arms, but he lost the fight with gravity and fell upon the mattress with an 'oomph'.

Sam stood at the end of the bed, gazing down at him with a smirk. Jared swallowed thickly, unsure if he liked where this was going. His lover's gaze was intense upon him, heat curling in his stomach as so many thoughts coursed in his head.

"So delicious, Jay" Sam purred, bending at the waist. He braced a hand on either side of his lover's legs, gaze slowly bleeding to an inky black. Jared's heart skipped in his chest, but he was game for whatever this was. As long as he didn't feel his lover's power holding him down, he really didn't care.

Sam's eyes never left the actor's face, even when he flexed his mind. The first button on those jeans twitched, then slowly slipped from the loop. Jared glanced down at his pants, eyes wide. The second one popped open just as easily, with invisible hands. His breath started to catch, his gaze bouncing between the buttons and Sam's face. By the fourth one his chest was heaving, arousal flaring strongly in him.

Sam was afraid he was going to drool, finding no boxers beneath that denim, "Want to taste you so badly, Jay…so much…"

"Sammy, please" Jared's hands fisted in the sheet, the last button falling away.

Sam complied to his lover's demand, dipping down further. Jared's eyes fluttered closed, back arching up as the wet heat of his lover's mouth took him in. He writhed, the brush of denim and Sam's mouth on him was too much.

"Sam…fuck, so good…"

"_Holy hell!_"

"_Haven't you people ever heard of locking the God-damn door?!_"

Jared rolled his head, finding Jensen and Dean in the doorway. They both reacted dramatically, fluttering their arms and ducking back out the door.

For Sam's credit, he never stopped…and who was Jared to deny him?

()()()

Sam and Dean had been glued to the laptop for the last half hour, so the best friends had to entertain themselves. They were on one bed together, sweat beading on their foreheads and curling their hair. Jensen spread his compact body out along the length of it, trying not to move more than he had to in the humidity. Jared sat by the man's feet, fanning himself with his wife beater.

Jensen spoke up suddenly, "I fucked a guy in the back of his Ferrari."

"Really?" Jared raised a brow, smiling "Car kink?"

"_Hot, fast_ car kink" the older man corrected him "Pretty guy. Blonde, tan, dumb."

"What was his name?" Jared sighed wistfully, trying to paint a picture.

"Brad…maybe Chad…" Jensen snorted softly "Some dumb surfer name."

"I did this girl in the library once" Jared's smile turned wicked "It was so hot…I can't even remember her face anymore."

"Well, I was eighteen, what's your excuse?" he nudged the over-grown puppy with his foot.

Jared's bangs fell over his eyes a bit, "I was seventeen."

"Oh" Jensen rolled his eyes "We're sluts…we're sluts and we're whores."

"Eh, could be worse" Jared stared up at the ceiling "I first took it up the ass a few days after I moved to LA, at a club no less."

"Ew!" Jensen sat up, face contorted "You did it in one of those skanky anything-goes clubs?"

"I was young" Jared pouted, shoving the man's leg pointedly "And absinthe was involved."

"Oh man, that shit _fucks_ me _up_" the older man shook his head, wincing "If I remembered every stupid thing I did with that crap involved, I might have to check myself into a covenant."

Jared raised a brow, "You mean a convent?"

"Yeah, that too" Jensen sighed dramatically, a wicked gleam in his eyes "I once had a sex dream about you, right after I first moved in."

Jared put a hand over his heart, an ecstatic expression on his face, "Me? Really, Jen? Aw, that's _so _sweet! And flattering, too!"

Jared got really close, hands fisted in the blankets as he jumped up and down, "Was I dressed as a barmaid? A fireman? Did I have a cool hat? Did I give it to you good, Jenny?"

Jensen pushed him away, laughing, "Back off, man."

"Oh tell me!" Jared pleaded, tugging at the man's shirt like a child.

"You were dressed in a pair of leather pants and a long leather duster, and had an English accent. You were smoking, too" Jensen stated, pushing up his glasses thoughtfully "You said that you'd give me a good shag if I got you another pack of cigarettes."

"So I was pretty much Spike from _Buffy_, right?" Jared was giggling at this point, so shocked and pleased by this "Awesome! I am _so_ much cooler than you right now."

Jensen faux-pouted, "It was _my_ dream!"

"At least I wasn't one of your groupies! You know, those really creepy ones who try to sneak into our trailer between takes. The ones that get all desperate" Jared prattled, straddling his best friend's waist and pulling at his pants playfully while adopting a high squeaky voice "Oh my _Gawd_! It's Jensen Ackles! Oh, Jensen, can I suck your cock? Oh, please! I'll give you anything you want, just let me taste you! Oh baby, I'm so hawt for you!"

Jensen made a face, trying to scramble away, "Get the hell off me! Those chicks are always so nasty!"

Jared developed some kind of thick Staten Island accent, "Oh _Gawd_, Jensen! Take me now, cowboy!"

They scrambled and wrestled on the bed, laughing and tugging at each other's clothes playfully.

Of course, the Winchester's were missing this particularly tasty piece of porn.

They were too busy gawking at the nasty, half-nude poses of their lovers on Photobucket.

()()()

Dean staggered out of the bar, inhaling the crisp night air and trying to sober up. He closed the sound of laughter and clinking glasses with the side door, shutting out the warm light of the dive bar. He was plunged into the blue of the night, though the polluted air of the town had a slight fog to it. The ally was pretty crappy, the walls dirty and maybe that was brick under the grime (who knew, man?)

Jensen had come into the bar and whispered in his ear that he'd wait for him outside, so the Impala should be around here…like out front. Dean took a step toward where the ally opened up, the street light giving it a glow. He was a lot more drunk than he gave himself credit for, he nearly stumbled head-first into the wall.

"_Dean._"

"Mmm?" he turned, ready to face whoever it was. He blinked at the emptiness that met him, no one there. All he saw was further down the dank ally, ending in a thick white vapor like every bad horror movie. He clenched his eyes shut, giving it a second look…the vapor turned pure black. What the hell? He really couldn't have been _that_ drunk.

"_Dean._"

There…a form grew out of the wall, a chest peeking out of the shadow. Dean squinted at it, making out the person's features. Pretty mouth, dark jade eyes, light hair…

"Jensen?" Dean slurred, turning all the way around and staggering toward his lover. Jensen's laughter filled his ears, teeth flashing in a grin. He seemed to twirl away from the wall, gesturing the hunter forward with a crook of his finger.

"Jenny, baby" Dean reached out for him, but the man moved just out of range. Dean frowned, glazed eyes following the spin of his lover's frame. Jensen's fingers danced under his collar, tugging him further down the ally. The hunter's breath caught, unresisting as he was led like a dog. He moaned at the hypnotic gleam in his lover's eyes, making him just that more pliable.

Something was off…the wicked smile on his sweet Jensen's face was just a little too wide…

"_Come with me, Dean…we need to play…"_

"Honey" Dean breathed, his chest tightening. There was definitely something wrong, his lungs were heaving with the effort to keep him breathing. Jensen held him close, stilling walking him towards the other end of the ally, lips barely brushing.

"…_I want your soul…"_

"Dean?" the call came from bright end of the ally, a shadowed figure appearing at it's mouth. The hunter whirled around, eyeing the figure carefully through his haze. It almost looked like…

When he turned back, he was face to face with a man taller than him. Jet black hair, fanged grin, ashen skin, and dark clothes.

Dean gasped, "You!"

"Me" he replied with a shrug, lips curling in a grin as he tried to tug the man harder "Come with me, Dean. I won't hurt you much. I'll even put on Jensen's face when I fuck you, you won't even notice that I'm extracting every speck of energy from your cells."

"Get your hands off my brother!"

Dean found himself knocked into the wall, head cracking off the brick like a rag doll. He collapsed onto the ground, grunting when his knees struck it the wrong way and sent bolts of pain up his bones. He picked his head up long enough to see the demon hybrid thrown down the ally, his brother coming into his vision. Sam seemed to be struggling, hand up and trying to mentally get a fix on Xander.

If Sam hadn't caught him by surprise, he wouldn't have been able to throw him at all.

"Not so fast, Sammy" Xander teased, getting himself back to his feet and glaring the man down "You can't hurt me, I was there when you were born. I'm immune to your neat little tricks."

This sent Sam into a panic, eyes going the purest black as he physically grasped the air.

"Kill 'im, Sam" Dean muttered, he felt sleepy and stupid. Cotton lined the inside of his mouth and brain, reminiscent to what a teddy bear would feel.

"Later then" Xander swirled his fingers, fading off with only a flash of red eyes left behind to even indicate it had been there. Dean groaned and put his head in his hands, trying to figure out if he was having a drunken hallucination or if he had really just gotten attacked by the demon who wanted to eat all four of them for their souls.

"Dean?"

Warm hands cradled the hunter's head, bringing his chin up to meet concerned green eyes. Dean sighed in relief at seeing his lover's face, melting into his touch.

"Jen" Dean wrapped his around the man's waist, burying his face into the curve of his lover's shoulder. Yes, everything was perfect here. His smell was right, the feel, the draw.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but he was seriously in love with this man.

Sam kept his eyes on the shadows, fear and anger in his eyes.

Jensen stared down at his lover in bewilderment, but tightened his grip on him, "It's ok, babe. He didn't get you, or any of us."

Dean nodded, the edges of his vision blurring.

The unspoken words in the air hung thick.

_But it was too close_.

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know (ah ah)**_

**Another AN:  
**I promise this story is going somewhere, it has a HUGE plot. Don't knock it, just finish it. I didn't mean for it to be _completely _depressing, and if it is I'm sorry. I just read this one story _Absolution_, a Dean/Cas…I couldn't even finish it, I was in tears and pissed that I had just wasted four hours of my life. I'm not bashing omphalos, cause it was ridiculously well-written and I could never get so in-depth. It was just…_really_ depressing. I'm hoping my story isn't way too sad, which is why I'm throwing all this extra random-fluff in.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell{10-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

They had barely left the mountains of the west when they came across a case in the town they had decided to stop at. It had been a complete accident, and not the good kind. They were in the middle of a Wendy's, Jared and Jensen fighting over the whole chili with-or-without cheese thing. In the middle of their bickering, Sam had overheard a woman almost crying to her sister about how her young son was haunting her.

A little more listening…her son had died almost three weeks ago and had been breaking and rolling and smashing things since then.

"Dean" Sam whispered to his brother, prying him away from the menu for a moment "Did you hear that?"

"Another case?" Dean perked up, food at the back of his mind for this minute.

"She's staying with her sister tonight, from what I can hear" Sam nodded "We should go tonight and figure this out. This ghost is pretty strong."

"After we eat, we'll read up a bit on him" Dean agreed, nearly clawing to get back to the menu.

Later that night, all four found themselves on the porch of this woman's home. It was toward the outskirts of town (where else?), and quite large. Night had fallen around them, cloaking them and the Impala.

Jared lingered on the stairs, watching the other three hover around the door.

"He's not some little kid, he was almost sixteen" Jared rattled off "That means he's going to be unreasonable, angry."

"The little kids are at least playful, gullible" Sam sighed.

Dean was on his knees, picking the lock of the doorknob.

Jensen shifted from one foot to another, "This house is way too big for a mother and her son."

"Apparently there was a father involved for a while, as well as a grandmother" Jared pointed out, he had all but memorized the article "The grandmother died of a heart attack two weeks ago, the mother declared it was because her son's ghost had knocked over the woman's oxygen tank. The father left a few days afterwards, filing for divorce and leaving her the house. Devon, the kid, hasn't let up."

"Poor woman" Jensen sighed, still looking around. It was such a nice house, a country house. Cream-colored, white painted porch swing, hummingbird feeder that had dried up. Wind chimes, well-done floors, sanded off rails. It was a pretty package, but he knew what was inside.

"We're in" the door clicked, unlocked. Dean stood, shouldering off his extra duffle bag that held all the things they would need. Sam took his 12 gauge shotgun, Dean his sawed-off double barrel, Jensen his own sawed-off shotgun, and Jared his. Extra salt was passed around, as well as lighters and a flask of gasoline.

"You guys aren't novices anymore" Sam declared "If you see any remains, like a cremation-pot, burn it. Anything that faintly glows or you feel a pulse from, burn it."

Jensen and Jared nodded eagerly, knowing what they had to do.

Dean kicked open the door dramatically, earning a snort of amusement from his brother. They entered the house, finding it nothing more than a usual home. Shelves full of knickknacks, frilly curtains, beige furniture. It was kind of throwing them off, but they focused.

"Jen, you and I will take the upstairs and attic" Dean decided "Sam, you've got cellar duty. Jared, can you handle the dining room and kitchen?"

"Yeah" Jared kept his grip firm on his gun, a churning in his gut "I got it."

They spread out to their designated areas, guns a-ready. Dean led the way upstairs, his lover covering his six. They crept up the stairs like cats, eyes darting all around and trigger-ready. When they reached the second floor, they realized it was only two bedrooms and a bath.

"Mom's bedroom first" Dean whispered, the actor nodded in return. The kicked in the door (even though it wasn't locked), and scanned it. There was nothing they could see that linked to the kid directly, just some overturned pictures. They silently headed for the bathroom next, but found nothing again.

Jensen led the way to the kid's room, shouldering inside. They covered it completely, finding nothing again. They waited two full minutes, which consisted of Dean calling the kid out.

"Come on, kid, I know you're here" Dean taunted "What? Big and bad enough to scare your mom but not some full grown men? Little chicken shit, show yourself!"

Another minute…

"Well, that's it!" Jensen huffed, letting his gun land at his side "I think that woman was just paranoid. Not one thing has flown across the room, and we haven't had…so m-much as a…oh God…"

Dean looked up as his lover's words became stunted, his own gun raising. Jensen was staring wide-eyed at the ground, dropping his gun in favor of clawing at his stomach. He gasped, pupils blowing, doubling over on himself. The hunter stepped forward, fear coursing through him.

"…D-Dean…"

"Jen? Babe?"

Jensen shot up suddenly, eyes wide and lips parted. He looked as if lit within, eyes casting off a green light. He scowled suddenly, pretty face twisted in rage.

Dean's voice didn't falter, "_Christo_."

Jensen's eyes glowed brighter with a flash of black, body seeming to flicker all over.

"_Get out_!" the voice wasn't Jensen, even though it came from his lips "_Get out_! _Out_! _I don't need you here_! _Out now_!"

Jensen picked up the TV from a nearby table, pulling it straight out of the wall. Dean had only a moment to duck before the device flew over his head. The hunter tucked his head and rolled, straightening up and aiming his gun at his lover.

Jensen's whole body convulsed, a shadow passing beneath his feet and through the floor. He exclaimed harshly, clawing at his chest again like an animal.

"Jen?" Dean called hesitantly, finger touching the trigger.

Plain emerald eyes looked up at him, surprise in them, "Fuck, that hurt. Did I just…?"

"We found the kid" Dean lowered his gun, equal parts relieved and worried.

"I think…" Jensen chewed his lower lip "Dean, I think the connection is in the attic. I felt a pull toward it…I dunno, but _fuck_, that hurt!"

Dean gestured him, "Let's go."

The hunter disappeared through the doorway, leaving the man there alone.

"We few, we happy few…" Jensen muttered, picking up his gun "We band of buggered."

Meanwhile, downstairs, Jared was clearing the kitchen. It was a half-hearted attempt, he'd rather try to reason with the ghost. Maybe they could convince him that what he was doing was wrong. Show him that he was hurting all the ones he had once loved, that he was tearing apart his family. Of course, the last time he saw that tried, Sam got thrown down a flight of stairs.

God, he was scared out of his mind.

"He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts" Jared chuckled quietly under his breath, quoting "We all float down here, Billy."

Wow, how come thoughts of homicidal clowns and Stephen King didn't help ease his anxiety?

He turned into the dining room, coming face to face with the ghost. He was no more than seventeen, with shaggy blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. He was kind of thin, his clothes dark, but he was pretty in his awkward stage. Fragile, almost.

"Get out" the boy hissed, his voice rough. With a nod of his shaggy haired head, Jared's gun flew from his hand. The actor's anger flared, he bristled up like a cat.

"That's enough, young man!" Jared was channeling his mother, he knew it "You can't just go throwing things around, you gave your poor grandmother a heart attack that way! Do you have any idea what you've done? What the consequences have been for the living?"

The ghost seemed to be concentrating on something, squinting at him. After a moment, he grunted in frustration and waved his hand at him.

"Are you…?" Jared's eyes widened when he realized what was happening "You're trying to throw me, aren't you? You're a disrespectful little brat, do you know that?"

The kid was starting to freak out, realizing his powers weren't working. As a last resort, he grabbed a candelabra off the table and charged. Jared made a strangled sound, holding up his arms in a last-ditch defense against a ghost. Light flashed in front of his eyes, a cry echoed through the room.

Jared lowered his arms, finding the ghost sprawled out on the floor and looking at him in awe. The candelabra was in pieces on the floor, half-melted. The actor gaped himself, a little more than scared.

"You're a…" the boy swallowed, shocked "…you're an angel, aren't you? Come to punish me?"

"Uh, no" Jared shook it off, steeling himself "You need to quit this, Devon. You're hurting everyone. You're father's left your mother, and she was in tears when we saw her."

Then the kid did something unexpected, he started balling.

"I'm sorry" the kid sobbed, tears staining shiny paths down his cheeks only to disappear in a plume of smoke before they hit the ground "I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want to. But they kept screaming at me to tell them I was here! They _did_, I swear! She was begging me to give her a sign, and dad just drank more each time I spun a ball or knocked over a hairbrush. And then Grandma…Grandma got a little scared when I accidentally knocked over his oxygen tank! I didn't want to hurt anyone, Angel of Mercy, I swear!"

"God, you really are just a kid" Jared dropped to his knees, reaching out for him "Come here, sweetheart, I'm not going to hurt you."

Devon hesitated for only a moment, then crawled to the man. Jared was a little more than surprised when the boy sprawled himself in his lap, still crying. But it only shocked him for a moment, then he laid his hands over his back and hair to hold him close.

"You poor thing…" Jared breathed, watching the thin form shake beneath his grip "You didn't mean any of it, did you?"

"I want my Salvation" the boy begged "I want to leave this place and move on, but she won't let me! My mom holds me here…and I'm just so angry…"

"And confused, my young one" Jared cursed how much he sounded like Castiel, heart aching in sympathy "We're going to release you."

"I hurt all over" Devon trembled "Can you…can you sing to me? My mom used to, when I was little. I secretly missed it, but I never told her."

Jared thought for only a moment of a song, something he had stumbled upon while surfing on YouTube.

"_Starting from here, let's make a promise_…_You and me, let's just be honest_…" Jared sang slowly, wincing at the sound of his voice but glad it made the boy calm slightly "_We're gonna run, nothing can stop us_…_even the night that falls all around us. Soon there will be laughter and voices_…_Beyond the clouds, over the mountains_…_we'll run away on roads that are empty_…_Lights from the airfield shining upon you_…"

The boy still clung to him, the icy cold of him sinking into Jared's very being. It curled along his bones, steeping his muscles. He exhaled shakily, heart skipping a beat when he saw his breath.

"_W-We'll run away, keep everything simple_…_Night will come down, our guardian angel_…" Jared felt something working it's magick, this soul was slipping from his grip moment after moment "_We rush ahead, the crossroads are empty_…_Our spirits rise, they're not gonna get us_…"

Then the boy was gone, faded out with a '_thank you, angel'_ hanging whispered in the air. Jared shook hard, hands clenching into fists. He felt the heavy weight of eyes on him, and looked up to find his lover staring at him. Sam gaped dumbly, disbelieving.

Jared managed to get to his feet, "What?"

"I swear I saw…light…" Sam shook his head, convinced he was seeing things "Jensen found a lock of hair on an alter in the attic, Dean burned it. Were you…_singing_ to him? And holding him?"

Jared chuckled weakly, pulling his coat tight around his shoulders, "Jealous much, Sammy?"

"How did you…?" Sam waved it off, it was a little much to take in "Later. Jensen got possessed, and he's pretty freaked out. Grab your gun, okay?"

Jared nodded, walking over and grabbing it off the floor. He turned only to have his Sam pressed close, looking concerned and so much like a lost puppy.

"Are you ok?" Sam cupped his cheek, stroking a thumb along his fine cheekbone "Did he hurt you?"

"He was a just a boy, Sam" Jared wanted the warmth, but not the pity "I can handle myself."

Sam reluctantly nodded, trusting his soul mate.

()()()

"Well, that was a scare enough for everyone" Sam stated once they got back into the motel room, all more worn for wear than when they set out.

"I got _possessed_!" Jensen scowled "The little bastard snuck up on me when I wasn't looking!"

"It happens, man" Dean assured him.

"It was just a scared kid, Jen" Jared pointed out exasperatedly "He didn't know what he was doing."

"We can't risk it happening again" Sam declared, laying out a device on the table. They all peered at it, recognizing it almost immediately.

"A tattoo gun?" Jared inquired, rubbing at his hands to try and quell the shakes.

Dean's eyes widened a fraction, "No way, Sam, we can't."

"Why not?" the younger brother raised a brow "We did it, and we were younger than them."

Jensen didn't like being kept out of the loop, "What do you mean?"

"We should give you this" Sam pulled down his shirt, exposing the tattoo that warded off possession "We can't let your bodies be controlled, not with the sway you have over us."

Jared's lips curled into a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Dean shifted his weight thoughtfully, "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

"I'm _not_ getting possessed again" Jensen set his jaw, eyes hard with his determination "I've never gotten a tattoo, but I'm not scared."

Sam nodded at him approvingly, then looked over at his lover, "Are you for it too, Jay?"

"I've gotten tattoos, they're nothing big" Jared shrugged off his jacket, though there was still some chill in his limbs "I'm game."

"Me first" Jensen demanded, plopping down on his and Dean's bed. He kicked off his sneakers and shed his shirts, his eagerness hiding his natural instinct to avoid needles (and eventually pain.)

"It'll be better like this" Dean pulled two label-less bottles out of his bag, the liquid in them a fine amber. Jared accepted the bottle he was tossed gratefully, screwing off the top and taking two heady swallows. The fire sung through him, chasing most of the cold out of his fingers and legs. Sam pulled his lover down onto their bed, curling his long arms around him protectively. Jared settled back into the strong chest without a single word of complaint, the hunter's presence helped to bleed out the last of the chill.

"Are you going to be ok?" Sam whispered to him, lips brushing along his hair and cheek.

Jared nodded slightly, "I will be. He didn't want to hurt anyone, he was just scared. He couldn't move on because his mother was holding him there, and that frightened him."

"You were really something" Sam admitted, rubbing a hand over the actor's abdomen "I can't believe you could touch him…do you know how you did it?"

Jared lied through his teeth, "Maybe he was just that powerful?"

"Maybe" Sam shrugged, settling his cheek against his lover's mop of honey-brown hair.

They watched as Jensen drank nearly half the bottle of whiskey, cussing as he laid down on the bed. Dean powered up the gun, filling it with the blessed black ink Bobby had given them. Dean hovered over his lover, letting his hand work fluidly over the skin. They had to stop twice before the outline was even finished, but Jensen just sucked it up and drank some more.

Eventually he went numb, sprawling out completely and letting the hunter do whatever he wanted.

"Done" Dean declared a little more than half-hour later, pulling back and admiring his work "It bled a little more than I would have liked, but the collar bone is pretty tender. Not bad, though."

"Can I touch it?" Jensen tried to sit up, but found he didn't have the coordination and fell back onto the pillows.

"No, honey" Dean spoke softly, pulling a bandage and medical tape out of his bag. He put the square cloth over the tattoo, taping it down carefully. "How 'bout you just get some sleep, huh?"

But Jensen was already dozing, eyes closed and breaths even.

Jared glanced up at the clock, crossing himself when he saw the time. He got strange looks from the brothers, bringing flush to his cheeks.

"If you cross yourself at eleven, you get soul out of purgatory" Jared stated, though it tasted lame on his tongue "I think it's a Gaelic thing, I dunno."

Sam smiled at him in amusement, dropping a kiss on his cheek, "Strip and lay down, Jay."

The actor complied, his t-shirt tossed to the floor. He shucked off his socks, leaving them to lay as he spread out on the bed. Sam received the gun from his brother, plugging it in by the bed and letting it charge. The buzz was louder now that Sam held it, letting it hover over his chest a moment. Jared snagged one last drink from his bottle, then set it aside on the night stand.

The first bite of metal on flesh wasn't so bad. It passed by in a haze, his eye watching the concentration and determination on his lover's face. It was intimate, having the man mark him permanently…he trusted Sam completely. There was a silence in the air, it tasted like desperation. The outline was half-finished on his collarbone when it was broken.

Jensen's voice was husky with whiskey, "I wanted to be a physical therapist, you know"

Jared looked over, finding his best friend's bottle-green gaze and holding it, "Really?"

"Yeah, I always wanted to study sports medicine" Jensen kept his tone just high enough over the soft buzz of the machine "All those times I modeled when I was a little kid, acted as a teen…it never meant as much as it did when that dream died. I was so upset when I realized I'd never achieve it, I cried for days…"

Jensen's gaze never left Jared's, even when Dean comfortably stroked his calf from his seat on the bed, "Did you ever want to be anything else, Jay?"

"No" Jared admitted, smiling bitterly "I left high school early to get into acting, LA. I was pretty smart in school, I wanted to got to TU. But…I was taking acting classes when I was so young…it didn't work out. I've…I've always wanted to be noticed. I felt so empty, and acting helped."

Jensen swallowed thickly, shadowing his lover's hand on his stomach and lacing their fingers, "I thought if I got my face all over TV, my soulmate would see me and know I was out there."

"I don't watch the shows you're on" Dean smiled faintly, bringing their hands up to brush a kiss across them "Sorry, Jen."

"Mmm" Jensen's eyes closed, but he still spoke to Jared "Why did you start acting, Jay?"

Jared couldn't lie, "Because I was lonely."

Sam pulled away, "You're done, babe."

Jared closed his eyes, letting his lover bandage his new tattoo, "For today I am, Sammy."

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (all about us)**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {11-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: Banners for this story can be found on my LiveJournal, there's a link on my profile page.)

The nursery was quiet, the only sound that dare disturb it was the light tinkling of music. The faint lullaby came from a rotating lamp, shapes cut out of its shade to cast them upon the wall. It was the only light, stars and crescents slowly drifting across the powder blue washed walls.

A stark crib dominated the far wall, a soft shape within it.

Just as a star passed the corner of the room, a figure bloomed from the shadow. It was spindly, blue tinged skin stretched tight over it's too long arms and legs. It wore no more than a layered leaf dress, reflecting the spring green of outside. It's eyes were slanted and dark as pitch, it's nose was no more than slits, it's mouth plump-lipped but too long. It resembled a female, braids piled atop it's head with only it's long ears to hold them in place.

A faerie.

The thing held a bundle in it's arms, three-jointed fingers keeping it cradled against her chest. It crept across the room like a crab, legs stretching and bending and creeping in an awkward side-walk. Though it had no pupils, it's eyes seemed to dance around the room nervously.

Once it reached the crib, it stood up straight like a human. She peered down at the soft shadow of a baby, mouth watering at the prospect of having it in it's clutches.

A sudden clang resounded outside, causing it to flinch and pull away. Iron…a long chain of iron had been closed around the house! She could feel it!

Dean kicked open the closet door, gun aimed at the creature, "Not today, bitch."

The faerie clawed at the bundle in the crib, finding out a thickly wrap of blankets instead of a human child. It screamed, voice scratchy and high. Fay did not liked to be tricked, and this one was no exception.

It threw the faerie child into the crib without a thought. Dean fired one of the iron-cased bullets, she dodged with a roll of her wrist-width neck, unfazed. He scowled and shot at her bare feet (hoping to slow her), but she managed a whole body bend, picking herself up on her hands and running with them at and up the wall. The Winchester blinked dumbly at it, wondering why these faeries were always bone-thin and flexible. He popped off two more rounds, the faerie scampered along the wall like a spider to avoid the potentially burning iron. The faerie crawled to the floor, just to the right of the hunter. Dean barked a curse in Latin and fired again, but it missed when she ducked and rolled gracefully through the shadow on the door.

Dean ripped open the door after her, revealing an empty hall.

Downstairs, Jared was in the kitchen wondering if a faerie could escape the iron chain. Ghosts couldn't, he'd seen _that_. But even the Winchesters had admitted they hadn't needed to seriously mess with faerie in the past, usually they didn't cause more trouble than needed. Apparently the changeling they'd let into this backward town were growing violent and deranged, killing nearly twenty people before they died (each!)

So the hunters stopped to try and make a deal, pump some sedatives into the beings before they get into the rest of the world.

Jared nearly screamed when a long-limbed faerie rolled out from the shadow behind the fridge, squatting on the floor before him. He drew his gun with the special iron coating bullets, locking it right on the being. It seemed shocked to see him there, freezing in place.

"You think you're funny?" Jared hissed, shifting so he blocked the door "Putting your rabid Fay into the town for a laugh?"

The faerie just stood there, though confusion creased it's brow.

"Don't play dumb, we've seen them" the actor continued, a little beyond disgusted "These things go _wild_, and you don't care! That last one killed almost twenty-five people before it threw itself onto some train tracks."

//_Is what you speak of true?_//

Jared flinched and ducked his head, as if dodging the words. The voice was disembodied, like it only existed inside his mind. Jared shook his mane of honey hair, trying to dislodge it.

"Is that you?" the faerie nodded hesitantly "Of course I'm not lying! You know I'm not!"

//_We did not know of this._//

"How could you not?" Jared's gun lowered a fraction of an inch, lips curled in a frown "Don't you watch over your own children?"

//_No._//

"Oh" Jared slipped his gun back into his holster, understanding in his eyes "I'll be very blunt with you. The changelings you leave behind are growing up rabid. They kill humans in this town: men, women, and children who've done nothing wrong."

//_All we want is the human children, they amuse us._//

"Yeah, but the problem is: So do the humans" Jared tried to explain, yet he knew the faerie didn't really give a damn (they never did) "If you're going to switch them, you better do it with tamer Fay. These things hit twelve and rip their glamour off with their bare hands, then just start tearing people up until they eventually kill themselves."

//_The pretty one tried to kill me, he did not wish to talk._//

"Dean? Yeah, he'll do that" the actor shrugged "That's not the point. We didn't know that you were oblivious to their actions. We're only trying to keep humans alive, we know we can't stop you."

The faerie cocked it's head to the side, eyes blazing holes in him, //_Maybe_…_we can come to an agreement._//

Dean appeared in the doorway, cocking his gun after a quick reload, "You're not getting away!"

Jared saw the faerie tense, he knew what he had to do.

"Stop!" Jared lunged at the hunter, knocking the gun out of the way "It's not their fault!"

Dean's fingers closed on reflex, setting off the gun. Jared yelped when it grazed his arm, cutting a hole in the material of his hoody and burning his skin. The faerie seized the moment, running at and fading into the door. Outside, another gun went off and Jensen cried out in outrage.

Jared knew she had gotten away.

"Shit" Dean spat, pushing the man away. Jared rubbed at his arm gingerly, spotting raw flesh beneath the sleeve. "Jared?! I could've _shot_ you. Fuck, I _did_. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" Jared glared "But we can't kill them Dean, they didn't do anything wrong. The nature of the faerie is being mischievous, tricksters. They'll no sooner stop switching babies then we'll start breathing underwater. They don't know about the changelings, at least not about the violent side effects."

Dean scoffed, "That's bull. You believed it?"

"_She_ didn't know, and you can't fake God-smacked" Jared tisked "Something must be going wrong with them. A bad batch, they ate something with a faerie allergen, or-"

"What the hell, you guys?" Jensen burst in, bright red scratches on his face "What happened here? How did you miss it?"

Dean went from annoyed to concerned, "Your face-?"

Jensen waved if it off, unconcerned, "It scrambled over me."

"Ok, that thing can jump really high" Sam appeared in the doorway, shotgun hanging limp from his hand "It went right over the chain off Jensen's head. Where's the kid?"

Jared blinked at him dully, "What?"

"Faerie came in _with_ a kid to switch, faerie left _without_ it" Sam gestured in the air, like he was talking to a small child "Where's the glamour faerie baby?"

Dean sighed, shoving his gun back into the holster on his hip, "It's in the crib upstairs, the thing panicked."

"I'm going to call the parents" Jensen declared, picking the house phone off the wall with one hand and rubbing at his maimed cheek with the other " I'll tell them to bring antiseptic."

"What about the baby?" Sam repeated, looking between his brother and his boyfriend "If it's mother abandoned it…"

Dean reached for his gun again, eyes locked on the ceiling, "I'll take care of it."

"No!" Jared grabbed for the hunter, catching h is wrist "_Please_ Dean, let me run this. I've got a plan."

Dean gave him a skeptical look, "_You_ have a plan?"

"Yes Dean" Jared's voice was strained with sarcasm "_I_ have a plan. Shocking, I know."

Jensen hung up the phone with a sigh, "They're coming home. I'm for Jared's plan, whatever it is."

The older Winchester dropped his jaw, "Jen? You can't be serious!"

Sam hid his grin behind his palm, his brother withering under the Texan's glare.

"Go pick your bullets out of the nursery wall, Dean" Jensen sated, leaving no room for argument "Sam, round up the chain outside. Jared, grab the kid. If you're going to do with at I think you are, then we need to hurry up before sunrise."

()()()

The Impala parked outside a line of forest, the tea rose moon hanging heavy in the sky. It was nearly three in the morning, though a thick darkness lay just beyond the tree line. It was the outskirts of town, and the dirt roads were abandoned.

Dean killed the engine, lips pursed and clearly displeased. Sam leaned back in the seat, rubbing a hand over his mouth. Concern was etched more heavily in his face, his thumb nervously flicking between his lips. Jensen was all but climbing up the side door, red scratches still bright on his skin. Nerves overtook him, making him swallow compulsively and palm the door handle.

Jared was as calm as he could be, cradling the faerie babe in his arms. He cooed to it gently, rubbing his fingertips between her little palms and along her chubby cheeks. The glamour was still in place, giving her the perfect appearance of a blue-eyed human child. Yet Jared could see her true form, shimmering just there beneath the surface. At first he thought he was the only one, since Jensen commented about how it looked like a normal kid and Dean had agreed.

Then Sam had approached the crib and jumped back, exclaiming it was blue.

Jared wasn't stupid, he'd never been stupid. Reckless, impulsive, playful, _yes_. But dumb, no. He knew there was something wrong with being able to see through a faerie glamour, something created to trick humans. Both Dean and Jensen had been fooled, but Sam had not. That was because of the demon blood, for sure. But why did Jared see through it? Was he channeling Sam? Surely it didn't work like that?

Whatever it was, Jared knew more each day he was on the road fighting the Big Bad that he wasn't normal and something else mingled inside him.

"For the record" Dean stated "I don't like this."

"What's the worst that could happen?" Jensen winced as soon as the words left his mouth, getting glared from everyone in the car "Sorry."

"So…what?" Dean looked at the younger man through the rearview mirror, confused "You think they're just going to let us into their…their…"

"Faerie court?" Jensen supplied.

"Yeah, their court" Dean scoffed "There's no way their just going to let us stroll in, baby or not."

"There's the knoll" Jared gave a nod towards the window "According to the internet, it's somewhere hidden in that forest. We go in there, offer the baby, and then tell them that their offspring is going wild in the town they've been leeching off."

"This is crazy" Sam sighed breathily, heart skipping "Fay can be ruthless, wicked…they won't hesitate to put us under a trance and have their nasty way with us."

"Kinky" Jensen chuckled, getting another round of glares "Sorry."

"No one eat _anything_, got it?" Jared commanded "Nothing off the trees, ground, or anything given to you. No matter how good it looks, be polite but firm. And Dean, don't get trigger happy. They swarm like bees sometimes, or they'll just find you amusing and kill you."

"They aren't Tinker Bell, I get it" Dean huffed, tired of being treated like a child "Ok, let's do this."

They all got out of the car, feeling the thickness in the air instantly. The Fay were out and about this night, you could taste it in the very air. Dean and Jensen got their shotguns out of the trunk, Sam's eyes flickering. He hoped it would be the only weapon he would need, he knew it would work if he needed it to. Each roll with Jared made him stronger, and he was almost glowing with it.

They broke the tree line, all breathing a sigh of relief when they weren't instantly attacked. The wood reminded Jensen of the forest on his family's ranch, and that wasn't comforting at al. They made their way between the trees, guns aimed and tensions high. It was still so dark, they were damn near blind even with what little moonlight came down through the branches.

"How far is the knoll?" Jensen inquired, voice low.

The babe in Jared's arms started wailing, kicking it's little hands and feet like it wanted to be dropped. The cry was loud, piercing the night air and whipping through the trees. It bounced off every leaf and used them to propel away even farther, radiating like a sonic blast.

"Shut it up!" Dean hissed, but Jared only cradled the child protectively "I said shut it up, Padalecki."

"We can't kill it" Jared snapped "Not here."

The baby stopped, settling.

"Shit" Jensen muttered, tensing.

And _shit_ was right. Thick, grey-ivory mist flooded the ground. It came out of nowhere, curling around their feet and twisting up trunks. It felt thick on their feet, clinging to their ankles when they tried to pull themselves out of it. There was a rise of panic, a hushed argument about whether to go back or not.

One firm gesture from Dean had them continuing.

"I already hate this" Jensen started to ramble, hanging towards the rear of the others "This isn't fog, it's those damn faeries."

"No shit, Sherlock" Sam scoffed "Just pay attention."

A clack sounded behind them, but no reply.

"No witty retort, cowboy?" Jared turned smile falling and a gasp ripping itself from his throat "Jen? Jensen?"

The Winchesters turned around, finding Jensen gone with only his gun left in a bed of white wisps.

"Jen?" Dean called, shotgun still up as he looked from tree to tree. There was a flash of something behind on of the trunks, just a pass of shadow. Yet it was enough to rile up the Winchester, becoming reckless. He fired off two rounds, one bullet blowing bark right off the tree while the other chased the shadow. There was movement there, then stillness.

"Dean" Sam tried to stop him, but he wasn't quick enough to stop his brother.

Dean lowered his gun and walked toward the tree, "I got it, Sam."

They walked on as multiple hands shot out of the shadows, taking Dean's feet out from beneath him.

"Oof!" the gun flew from Dean's hands, back landing hard on forest floor. He was dragged through the fog, kicking and screaming, and into the dark of the trees.

Sam swiped with his power to gain a grip on his brother, but received tinkling laughter from the branches for his effort.

//_Silly demon boy_.//

"Shit" Sam pressed himself along his lover's side, fisting his hand in the back of the actor's hoody "Did you hear that?"

"It's how they talk" Jared whispered, heart beating a tattoo in his chest "We have to keep going and keep our heads. Don't get violent, it'll only encourage them."

"But Dean and Jen-"

"-are fine" the actor heaved the baby against his chest, supporting it's head through the ache in his arms "We can only go on."

"How can you say that?" Sam snapped, voice on edge "How can you know the they're aren't drugging them right now? Raping them? Eating them?"

Jared only continued forward, "I _don't_ know that, Sam. Uncertainty is as good a reason as ever to continue…don't you think?"

Sam only nodded, giving the trees a last wary look before trialing behind the actor like a puppy.

There was only scant minutes of silence before Sam snapped again. The mist continued to lick up their calves, the glamour babe kept squirming and cooing, and their companions were nowhere to be found.

It was a rustling of leaves that set Sam off, eyes going pitch before he raised his hand and took down the entire branch. The crash was uncomfortably loud, the thick branch half swallowed by the fog and scattering its leaves. Sam was losing his cool, he didn't lower his hand as he glared over every inch of their surroundings. Jared opened his mouth to tell his lover to calm down, but it was too late.

Jared wasn't surprised when a wave of mist rose up and swallowed Sam, his entire self disappearing beneath it.

"If he would've just calmed down" Jared sighed, voice weak even to his own ears. He continued on alone, trying to let his fear show on his face. He didn't really know if they were ok, if they were drugged or in the arms of a faerie. All he could do was hope the Fay would be kind until he explained why they were there.

The trees opened up, a rather large clearing splayed out before him. There, dead in the middle, was a knoll that the local legends had spoken of. The mist was thicker here, nearly drowning the knoll away. A faerie ring surrounded the area, an ugly cross between a lily and a toad stool sealing it.

Jared didn't take two steps before he was forced to his knees, the mist licking at his lips. Two faerie appeared before him, and again he was unsurprised. He kept the babe closer to his chest, he wouldn't put it past them to rip it from his arms.

And old Fay sat cross-legged before him, it's skin the shade of a fresh love bite. What little hair it had was long and wispy, the white tendrils start against it's (her?) skin. It's mouth was all but gone, a pucker in it's leather face. Her eyes were dark, but shaded in silver and wisdom. It had wings, shredded at the ends and grey…but present like silk stretched over wire. A scrap of cloth covered it's waist, though it could barely be called a garment. Jared could see every rib in her chest, and the nipple-less lumps there could not be called breasts by any extent.

Too ethereal for human characteristics.

The other faerie was the one from the house, anxiously sitting there on it's knees and fidgeting.

//_Who are you?_// the voice was like sandpaper on his conscious, but he didn't flinch.

"You first" he managed, unsure if he should give out his real name.

//_I am called Pixinscope._//

"Ok, then I am called Jeffree Star."

The old thing gave him a hard look.

"We didn't mean to intrude" Jared rasped, lower lip quivering at the sheer presence those things emitted "But we had no choice."

The old fay's eyes didn't falter, //_You know something, I've been told._//

"The changelings you've been leaving behind are rabid" Jared explained slowly, wetting his lips as his throat went dry "They get a certain age, then kill everyone within their reach. When done, they kill themselves."

//_Strange this is_// the faerie hummed, head tilting one way then the other //_Never before have they done this?_//

"Never."

//_It was my brother_// the smaller framed faerie hissed, blue-tinged teeth bared //_I saw him with the batch of kin to be exchanged_.//

//_Then things will be fixed._//

"Just like that?" Nile green eyes went wide, mouth dropping open like a fish "You'll fix all of it?"

//_We will do what we can for our playthings_// her toothless smile was cruel and nasty, bony fingers dancing in the air //_Are you planning on keeping that?_//

Jared immediately laid the baby on the ground, sick with touching it. The glamour dropped, exposing the thing for what it was. No bigger 'round than his wrist, dark blue skin, sharp knees and elbows. It scampered away on all fours like a monkey, disappearing into the shadows.

"Why was I the only one who could get here?" Jared asked, flexing his fingers to try and get the blood flowing back through them.

The old fay threw her head back in a screechy cackle, sending ice up his spine, //_Oh, you'll find out eventually pretty one! Out of the humans and the demon, you have the most right to be here._//

Jared shook his head in protest, "But I'm human too."

Pixinscope's laughter rang through his head, everything going black.

()

Jared came back to himself who knew how many hours later. He blinked several times, sunlight kissing at his cheek and legs. He shook himself awake, focusing on where he was at.

Jared found himself flat out on his back on the ground, the dew from the grass seeping into his clothes. He was outside the tree line, the Impala parked almost a yard away. He ached a little and his head felt like someone had lined it with cotton, but otherwise unharmed. He managed to sit up with a grunt, hazy eyes trying to focus.

The sun was rising, streams of light danced over the ground like ribbons. They slashed across his belly and calves, his face warm from the contrast of the chilly dew.

Sam wasn't five feet from him, spread out on his back and at ease. There were no mars that Jared could see, his clothes left unrumpled.

Jared found Dean closer to the Impala, on his stomach with his folded arms cushioning his cheek. The two shotguns were discarded beside him, rough snores escaping his lips. Though his shoes were gone and his ankles were raw, he looked well enough.

Jensen was a little west of him, on his side and half-curled in on himself. His breaths were just loud enough to be soft snores, the calves of his jeans ripped down the middle in two lines. There was no blood, but he must have put up a helluva fight.

Jared smiled to himself, pointedly ignoring the last things the old witch had said to him. Screw her! These were his best friends, his family. They all belonged together, and should someday commit to a smoking hot foursome and get their orgy on.

With that pleasant thought, Jared collapsed back onto the ground and promptly fell asleep.

_**TBC**_

_**All about us**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {12-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: Ryan Confierdo (sp?) is not mine at all. Yes, he's a Filipino-hunk, but he's not mine. He's from Quest Crew, winners of _America's Best Dance Crew_…a tv show. He was also on _So You Think You Can Dance?_ He does wicked dances and can do equally wicked things with his body. You can look him up on YouTube and see him in full glory. If you don't like him or like what I do with him, then I am truly not sorry cause that just means you aren't open to all options and are an epic failure in life. Banners and pics of him can be found in the link to my LiveJournal page on my profile.**)**

Sam and Jared were such geeks. Between cases, they left early in the morning for the library. Jensen and Dean had awaken to an empty bed across from them, coffee and a note left explaining where they were.

Deciding that they had nothing better to do, they didn't get out of bed.

_Supernatural_ played on the TV, one of the new episodes that even Jensen hadn't seen. The covers were piled on the floor, forgotten in the mild heat that clung to every inch of their crappy motel room. Dean was flat out on his back, one hand behind his head while the other brushed at his lover's hip. Jensen was curled into his side, cheek pressed into a strong pec and content.

They had been like this for over an hour, simply letting things be. No monsters, ghouls, or demon hybrids hungering for a piece of them…at least not here. Surrounded by their salt lines and sigils', they were in a semblance at home.

Something cold brushed Jensen's hip, just below his threadbare _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ t-shirt. The actor sat up so fast his lover jerked, but he simply seized Dean's wrist and held it up. The light caught off his silver ring, bracelets clinging to his skin.

"Dean?" Jensen turned, looking down at his lover "Why do you have so much jewelry?"

Dean narrowed his eyes, "It's not _jewelry_."

"I'm sorry, you're right…as always" Jensen rolled his eyes, shaking the man's wrist to jingle the bracelets "They're man-lets…and you wear a man ring."

"Damn right" Dean grumbled, eyes straying to the TV. Jensen chuckled and plopped down beside him, a smile brightening his features.

Dean was suddenly hit by a wave of brooding, a spring from the shoddy mattress digging into the base of his back. He took note of the stains on the ceiling, the worn material of the ugly green rug, the slaking wallpaper…the cheap material of the sheets and how they scratched at his skin. He had lived all his life in places like this, rented in haste and as cheap as they come.

But Jensen was raised properly. In a house with warm blankets and feathered pillows, on all but 600 count sheets. He was brought up on a ranch, wide open space and fresh air. Plates piled to the brim with beef and potatoes every night, a family around.

From what Dean understood, Jared grew up damn near the same way.

Jensen didn't deserve this kind of life: an impulsive, dangerous one. Surely he thought down upon Sam and him for living this way without a thought?

"So, uh…Jen…" Dean began, trying to sound disinterested as he blindly kept his eyes on the TV "Have you talked to your family lately?"

"My mom, to get those parts" Jensen shrugged, uncaring "My sister Mac, too. A little Chris too."

Dean's brow creased, "Chris?"

"Christian Kane" Jensen flashed a cocky smile "My best friend next to Jared. Good guy, if it wasn't for you…it would've been him, man."

"Christian Kane" Dean mused, pulling a face before making a 'o' of awe with his lips "You mean Lindsay from _Angel_? That pretty boy lawyer?"

"Yeah" the Texan replied easily "That's my Chris. He insists I call him every weekend I'm gone. The others knew they'll hear from me when I'm dead."

Dean shifted uncomfortably, "You must miss it."

"I love this life, Dean."

Wide jade eyes shifted to the actor, surprise in them.

"I do, _honest_" Jensen promised, trailing his fingers up the hunter's arm "It's different here, nothing's handed to me. I like working for everything, fighting each step and earning each breath I take. It must be the _you_ in me, Dee."

Dean's lips quirked, "Yeah, maybe."

Jensen rolled his eyes mockingly, "Yeah, _maybe_."

A sudden urge came over the actor, possessiveness flashing through him.

"Were did you get them, anyways? You're bracelets?" Jensen didn't let his sudden anger seep into the lines of his body "I can't see you out jewelry shopping."

Dean looked down at his wrist and made a thoughtful sound, "Uh, I guess they were all gifts. Girls, man…they'd give you anything just for a call the next day."

Heat flared up in Jensen's chest, a stir in his very soul. He straddled his lover, pushing him down roughly with his palms and keeping him pinned when he tried to sit up. He leant down and claimed his mouth harshly, biting so hard on his plump lower lip he tasted the heat as his blood rose to the surface of the skin. Dean moaned and bucked into him, earning a growl and fingers curled under his chin.

"You're mine, Dean Winchester" Jensen pulled back, fire in his eyes "Don't you every fuckin' think otherwise, got me?"

Dean nodded eagerly, a thrill ripping threw him.

"On your knees, lover" Jensen bit down on the hunter's jaw, hard and aching "I'm gonna give you a ride, and you're going to forget wherever the hell you got those God-damn bracelets from."

Dean almost got sheet burn from how fast he obeyed.

()()()

_A mere child's room…alit with sunlight coming in through the single window. Soft green walls, plain black carpet, a futon dominating the corner. Movie posters were plastered on the wall, video games lingered with DVD's on the floor. A laptop was in the middle of the floor, a PC CD discarded atop it._

_Jared stood hesitantly in the corner, studying every inch. His limbs felt heavy, his blood replaced with molasses…his mouth was wooly. He drifted toward the middle of the room, still observing. It took him a few long moments before he realized where he was, why he felt so at ease here._

_This was his bedroom when he was a teen._

_A cold washed over him, searing his limbs. He turned, eyes roving over the far wall. His closet…shell white polished surface, sleek panes that hid what lay within. The child came from there, something lingered behind that innocent façade. Something…familiar. The wrong kind of familiar, the kind of familiar that left a smoky bitter flavor lingering on the back of his tongue. _

_The door swung open, revealing something he thought he'd never see again._

_Smaller framed than himself, hazel eyes, and thick spiky hair. Those spikes were dyed every color imaginable; navy blue, blonde, crimson, all. A smile curled his lips, dark skin complimented by a leather get-up. His face was half-hidden by those dark bangs, giving him an alluring mystique._

"_You" Jared's eyes widened, floored._

"_Me" the man chuckled, playfulness in his tone "You've grown up to be so pretty, Jared. I can really see the Polish in the curve of your jaw."_

"_What…you can't…" his tongue was useless, lips dry._

"_I know I've changed since we've first me, but somehow I knew you'd remember" the demon rattled off, hands deep within the pockets of his leather jacket "But do you remember my name?"_

_Jared choked pathetically, the chill of the demon's presence seizing him._

"_That's ok, don't speak" the demon held up a hand, it was a forgiving gesture "I've just come back to remind you. My offer is still open, still valid. I know you're happy with the new life you've found, but I suspect not completely. I want you to know this…if you decide to act, I'm here."_

_Jared shook his head sluggishly, "I'd never…"_

"_Oh hush" the demon tisked, flicking his colored bangs almost idly "You're too noble to admit anything, I know. I'm just saying…if you get lost and don't know how to save Sam, I'm here."_

_Fear wracked the human, "Wh-What are you going to do to me?"_

"_Me?" the golden-hazel eyes went wide, lips forming an 'o' of surprise "Nothing at all. I can't touch you Jared, you should know that by now."_

_Jared could barely draw breath, let alone reply that he had no idea what the guy was talking about._

"_If you need me, you know how to summon me" the demon stated "I'll be close, Jared…closer than you may think."_

_Ice bit down into his skin, pain shooting up his arms._

"_No…"_

()

"No!"

Jared jerked awake, long limbs thrashing like a wild animal. He clawed at whatever he could reach, fingers aching in protest when they came in contact with unyielding leather. He didn't want to open his eyes, he didn't want to know where he was. Frigid fingers still held him, seeping into his very mind and locking in the fear.

"Jared! Jay, calm down!"

Jared knew that voice, this familiarity was warm. He cracked open his eyes meeting with blinding sunlight, clenching them shut again against the sear. He winced and shinned away, firm hands seizing his biceps and shaking him. He pushed and squirmed, trying to get himself free. He was pulled against a firm chest, a light musk and the scent of cheap motel soap washed over him.

"Sam?" Jared pleaded, stilling and opening his eyes again. His lover's concerned face hovered above, gazes meeting. He sighed shakily, looking around and praying the demon was gone.

Jared was in the back seat of the Impala, alone with his lover in the warm afternoon. Sweat beaded along his back and brow, making his clothes itchy and cling. The door behind Sam was thrown open, Jensen and Dean barely visible coming out of the Chinese place.

"What's goin' on?" Jared slurred, the last of the chill disappearing beneath his lover's palms.

"You fell asleep in the car on the way here" Sam's smile was weak, hands rubbing the actor's arms soothingly "We stopped to get food. Dean heard you screaming, and I found you flailing around."

Jared winced at the word '_flailing_', "Did I…was I loud?"

"Yeah" Sam lifted his hands, cupping his lover's face and wiping the stray tears there away with his thumb "Baby, you're crying. What's wrong? Was something hurting you?"

Jared could only swallow and stare, unsure.

Dean opened the passenger door, settling the large bags of Chinese food in the footrest, "Was it a demon?"

Jared jumped at the suddenness of it and barely withheld his yelp, but didn't he didn't get far in the hunter's hold.

"A minute, Dean?" Sam snapped, giving his brother a hard look.

The older Winchester shrugged, shutting the door and hanging out on the sidewalk with Jensen.

"Jay…" Sam looked closely into his face, radiating comfort "What was it?"

"Just a…" Jared's voice broke, cracking "…nightmare."

Jared flung himself into the hunter's embrace, burying his face into the cradle of his neck. More tears slipped, heart still fluttering away like a trapped bird in his chest. He thought he would explode with all he was feeling, and the close contact with the other half of his soul helped ground him.

Why was he seeing that demon again? Why was he haunting him?

And here Jared had thought the demon interaction had been a fluke…

"Hush, baby, you're ok now" Sam dropped kisses into honey hair, caressing down the actor's back over and over to try and take away whatever terror was still lingering inside him "You're fine, nothing's going to get you here. You're safe with me, Jay."

Jared shuddered in his arms, "I know."

_But for how long?_

_**TBC**_

_**We'll run away if we must**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {13-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: I think I used to word 'odium' right, but I'm not sure. And here's all this: Sam's birthday is May 2, Jared's is (in real life) July 17th, and the first season of Supernatural ended May 4th. To make it work with the plot, I am making Sam and Jared's birthday on June 17th.

**Another tell**: those pretty lyrics come from "I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby" by 3oh!3)

* * *

The park was bathed in twilight; pale orange, lavender, and shades of red clung to each leaf and pebble…staining the paved walkways and swingsets almost morbidly. It was abandoned this late, for all knew evil things roamed parks in the cover of night.

One being inhabitant this place, one that did not fear the cretins that haunted the trees. He sat alone upon a bench, the thick expanse of the park spread out before him. He sighed heavily, cobalt eyes shutting out the scenery for a moment.

The weight of the world was heavy upon Castiel's shoulders.

"…_these children learn from cigarette burns_…_fast cars, fast women_…_and cheap drinks_…" a throaty voice sang, each word bittersweet like molasses "_All these asphyxiated, self-medicated…take the white pill, you'll feel alright_…"

The angel jolted at the voice, knowing instantly who it was. He threw up every mental wall he had, steeling himself completely before opening his eyes. Damn it all, it _was_ him. The man stood there idly, thumbs caught in the pockets of simple black jeans and bathed in the twilight. A long sleeved mesh top covered his arms and peeked out neck of the black t-shirt that hugged his chest tightly. There was a touch of eyeliner beneath umber eyes, smooth light mocha catching the light beautifully. Raven hair was spiked in every direction, touched with shades of purple and blue.

A smile curled his ruddy lips, face half-hidden by sharp bangs.

Sin personified.

"My Castiel."

"Ryanimay."

"Oh, Cas, I go by Ryan now" Ryan flicked his fingers in the air, color touching his cheeks "And here I thought you had forced yourself to forget my name."

Castiel's jaw clenched, //I will never forget you. We've spent centuries together, how could I?//

"I haven't seen you in a while" Ryan's stroll toward him was sultry, knowing "Been fighting the Big War for your Holy Father?"

"He was once your Father too, he still could be" Castiel tried not to let his hope show in his features, but it was a failure "I'm surprised you haven't joined the fight."

"I'm odium to violence" Ryan lied flippantly, slowly circling the bench "And -like you said- he is no longer my Father. Why should I shed blood for or against him?"

"Because you've reduced yourself to the class of a Crossroads demon, it is in your nature to fight" Castiel spat, bitterness poisoning his low tones. Ryan tisked at this, easing up behind the angel with all the stealth he possessed. He curled his fingers around broad shoulders, smiling to himself when he wasn't burned away. Opportunity.

"I was not always this way" Ryan bent at the waist, crossing his arms over the angel's chest and cradling his cheek in the warm neck bared before him "I was an angel once…I was _your_ angel. You know I would never fight for the demons I surround myself with, ones that I will never love half as much as I do you. I serve my own purposes."

"That you do" Castiel's breath came in a shaky stream, the heat of the demon bleeding through his trench coat "You could come back, _Ryan_. Father would forgive you for the unimportant souls you've taken and let you back into Heaven. You could be by my side again."

"I'm by your side now" Ryan teased, brushing his lips against dark hair "My beautiful Castiel…no matter what vessel you choose, I'd know those eyes anywhere."

"I see you don't even need a vessel anymore" the angel kept his eyes straight ahead, blocking the effects those touches were having on him "Being a demon has given you the ability to create a body that reflects your true image."

"Do you think it looks close? I tried so hard to make it, but celestial forms are so hard to recreate" Ryan's lips closed behind the skin below the angel's ear, tasting it with just a flick of his tongue "You could grow just as fond of this form, Castiel."

"Ryanimay…"

"If you'd just give me another chance, you would see I can make you just as happy as before" Ryan promised, desperation creeping into his seduction "You'll see I'm the same…it's been centuries since I've felt your hands on me, Cass. It wasn't my wings that made you love me."

Castiel couldn't let himself give in, "You're nothing but a demon now, I can never accept you again."

Ryan reeled back at the callous words as if slapped, flaxen-gold eyes wide with hurt. He stumbled back nearly three steps, almost falling. His lower lip quivered, and for one horrible moment he was sure he'd cry. What had he ever done to make Castiel so cold? He hadn't fallen for some great misdeed or treason, he had _chosen_ this. He had not raised a hand against Heaven nor Hell, he had only exchanged souls for large demands. Those people knew what they were getting into! He hadn't tricked or confused them with flowery words like most Crossroads demons.

Rage filled him, fingers curling into fists and jaw clenching.

"Where do you get off?" Ryan growled, circling back around the bench and glaring at the angel "You think you're so high and mighty, Castiel? High on your pedestal as Thursday's angel? You think that you're a little less damned just because you don't touch me? Just because I doubted God's Will and left does _not_ mean I'm evil. Every time I come to see you, you push me away like I'm trash!"

The demon calmed himself, knowing he would never get what he wanted if he went into a screaming/crying fit. Castiel was gazing at him with wide azure eyes, clearly surprised at his outburst. But Ryan could see the craving in their depths, the part of Castiel that wanted him was still in there. It was buried beneath this harsh-tongued Soldier of God, and he knew how to get through that.

Ryan dropped to his knees on the ground before the bench, parting the angel's knees with a press of his palm. He hummed in response in response to Castiel's gasp of surprise, curling his fingers around strong calves to keep them in place. Golden hazel eyes gazed up at Castiel through raven lashes, not letting the angel look away.

"I'm still yours, nothing's changed" Ryan's voice was throaty, cheek nuzzling the warmth of the angel's inner thigh "You can't act like you don't want me anymore. I feel your gaze on me, I know you watch over me. Don't give me that demon shit…if it were true, you would burn my touch away…"

Castiel's movements were too quick to counter. The angel stood, seizing a fistful of streaked raven hair and yanking the demon to his feet. Ryan whined from the rough treatment, but found himself pressed to a long line of angel. Bright cyan eyes burned into his own, trapping him. He couldn't move…he parted his lips to speak, but no sound came out.

Castiel looked into the demon's face, flickering between his open mouth and his golden eyes. Ryanimay had once been his own, at his side and buried in his heart. But he had chosen Disobedience, resigning himself to a Fallen One…and now a Crossroads demon when he had found himself useless and in need of some abilities here in this World of Humanity. Even bound by his power, Castiel was still considering giving into

temptation. He once loved this man, (and if he was truthful with himself, he still did), and angels were not saints…in this body he could…

Castiel nearly choked on his words, "You make me weak."

Ryan's lips quirked, "I could say the same for you, Beloved."

Castiel's eyes drifted shut at the endearment, softening his hold on the back of the demon's neck. The purr Ryan emitted was soothing, encouraging his fingers to lace with those soft, dyed tresses.

"It's been so hard, sweetling" Castiel's voice was barely above a whispered, as if he was afraid God would hear his confession "But it's wrong…this war, and with the oncoming Apocalypse…Father might see it as treason and take me out of this world."

Ryan snarled, a bit of fang flashing, "I don't give a _damn_ what Father thinks!"

Castiel's eyes lit up with hope at those words, "Come back to me."

"I'm with you."

Ryan took a chance and stole a kiss, tilting his head up just enough to take it. It was chaste, though the tingle that coursed through his lips scared him. A tingle could easily turn into flame, and he didn't know if his heart could take the full-on rejection (and death.) Yet he was not pushed away, in fact…

Castiel wrapped his arm around the demon's waist, drawing him in by the small of his back. Neither knew who started it, but the kiss deepened. Tongues mingled with out hesitation, taking the pleasure that was so rightly theirs. Ryan palmed the angel's chest, fingers curling in the stark white of his dress shirt. God-be-damned, they wouldn't be separated a moment longer.

And Castiel just _knew_ he could convince Ryan to rise again.

"I have to leave" Castiel rasped, pulling away enough to press their foreheads.

"No" Ryan whined pathetically, eyes pleading "Stay with me tonight."

Castiel's cheeks stained, "We can't do _that_."

"In these bodies we can" Ryan tried to make light of it, fingers still clenched in the angel's shirt. His desire was thick on his tongue, his pants tight with it. He rubbed against Castiel in way that made those lovely azure eyes flutter, an answering hardness lay beneath those black slacks. The raw desire seemed to scare the chaste angel…

"Not today" Castiel's voice was firm, but his resolve was weak and easy to crumble. He had never taken Earthly pleasure in this vessel before, but for his Beloved he would. When they had taken human forms before, Ryan had induced him into some human play. It had been fantastic, everything a new experience. Kissing had always been his favorite, a skill he hoped he still had.

A few more pushes and Ryan knew he would have the angel where he wanted him…in his bed, in his body…beneath his fingertips…

"But soon" Ryan mock-sighed in disappointment, stepping away.

Ryan found his wrist seized painfully, twisting it harshly in a motion that made the demon's knees almost give out. Cerulean eyes hardened, the Righteous Soldier of God back in full force. Ran swallowed down his whimper, unsure of what he'd done to bring on this wrath. And here he'd thought he'd been so cunning in avoiding punishment…

"Tell me, Ryanimay" Castiel's voice took on his true tone, Ryan's ears ached with it "Were you the Crossroads demon that visited Jared when he was but a boy?"

Ryan lied through his teeth, "No."

"If I find out you were…" Castiel let his threat trail off, eyes hard "I let that demon slip through my fingers, I knew the boy could take care of himself. Don't let me find out it was you."

"It wasn't, Castiel" Ryan assured him, convincing in his load of bull "And I don't know who did."

Castiel nearly melted in relief, releasing the demon, "Good. Thank you."

The softest flutter of wings and he was gone.

Ryan rubbed at his eyes, unsure of what he was doing. Visiting Jared like this, keeping a deal on the table. If he to truly ever consider Heaven Everlasting again, he would surely be denied with Jared's soul on his conscious. He drew in on himself, fearing his lover's wrath even now.

"You're mine by rights, Castiel, and by my name I will have you back" Ryan growled, determination lining his face "But I go where I'm needed."

()()()

The day had been hard upon them all, beating them into submission when a horde of ghosts had decided to descend upon a town hall. They had spent the entire night burning and chasing and shooting, dodging desks and computers while trying to cover each other. They all came out with a few scrapes and bruises, but nothing too horrible.

Jared had taken a knock to the head by a hurled keyboard, leaving him with a bruise and a nasty headache. Jensen bitched about the rubs burns on his hands from scrambling across the floor, that is until his lover pulled him aside and rubbed some lotion into them. Dean himself had ended up with bruised ribs from a thrown desk, and Sam had some minor cuts from shattered glass.

Thankfully, they had gotten all the remains burned and taken down a total of _ten_ ghosts at one time. Powerful sons-of-bitches too. With everything but their pride aching, they trudged back to the motel in victory. Hot water sucked there, so showers were shared. No one would care if the had enough energy to do more than scrub themselves clean, but the couldn't even find it in them to fool around.

Thick black curtains shielded sunlight from the room, though tendrils still crept from beneath it's length and around it's width. Hours had gone by, passed in dreamless sleep and slow healing. One young man stirred, a mop of dark copper hair shaking in an effort to pull himself from sleep. He stayed silent, carefully rolling out of bed and onto the floor like a cat.

Just in his boxers, Sam snuck over to his duffle bag and knelt to rummage through it. He pulled out a simple square box, then a thicker pastry box.

Jared found himself shaken awake, just a gentle touch on his shoulder. He gave a soft moan of complaint, eyes fluttering open to reveal glazed Nile green treasures. It took him a moment to truly focus, but when he did he found Sam hovering above him.

"Sammy?" Jared's voice was hoarse, he glanced at the clock "It's barely noon, baby."

"I couldn't just let you sleep through this day" Sam replied, caressing his lover's stomach beneath the blanket to coax him awake "You'd hate me for missing it."

"What is it?" Jared yawned and rubbed at his eyes, barely aware of what season it was.

Sam chuckled warmly, dropping a chaste kiss on his lips, "It's June 17th, Jay."

Jared's breath caught, disbelief in his eyes.

"Happy birthday" Sam smiled down at his lover, stealing another kiss. Jared let out a startled sound, but the hunter swallowed it down. He glanced at the other two men out of the corner of his eye, hoping they weren't watching. Dean and Jensen were tangled together on their bed, half on top of one another and out cold.

When Jared turned his attention back to his lover, he found a beautiful treat held out before him. Jared moaned, practically drooling on himself. A perfect chocolate cupcake, a heavy swirl of cream colored icing on top of it, and a single candle. A flame sprang to life atop it, the actor saw the flicker in his lover's eyes. Usually he would have disapproved, but this was much too sweet.

"Love you, Sammy" Jared murmured, true devotion in his eyes.

"You better" Sam teased, sitting up and holding the cupcake like an offering "Make a wish."

Jared chewed his lower lip thoughtfully, mind racing around all the things he wanted. There was one thing he craved above all else, something that nagged at him every waking moment. He closed his eye and drew in a breath, knowing what he wanted.

//_I want to pull Sam from the darkness._//

Jared exhaled, the flame dancing under the weight for a scant moment before winking out. He cracked open his eyes to find his lover's bright smile in his face, warming him instantly. They split the cupcake straight down the middle, snickering quietly when they got crumbs on the bed.

"Buttermilk" Jared moaned in delight, licking at the icing with a fever.

"Not as tasty as you" Sam gave him a sly look, chocolate on his tongue "But close."

"Nothing's better than buttermilk, pet" the actor scolded, even though in jest "_Nothing._"

"How 'bout…" Sam straddled his waist, grinning when all that was left of the treat of the treat was a dollop of icing on his thumb "You _and_ buttermilk?"

Jared's laugh turned breathy when the cool of the icing traced down his chest, his lover's mouth following it obediently. Sam's tongue was hot on his skin, leaving a slick trail all the way to his torso. The sensitive skin under his tattoo was assaulted, teeth nibbling lightly. The last of the icing smearing on his nipple, it stiffened when lips kneaded the treat from it. Jared grabbed a handful of copper locks, dragging those teasing lips back where they belonged.

Buttermilk weighed heavy on their tongues when they kissed.

"Wait" Sam pinned his lover down, just managing to rip himself away "I've got something for us."

"A present?" a childish gleam came to Jared's eyes, instantly looking years younger "Oh, let me see!"

"Hold on" Sam laughed, dodging his lover's scrambling hands "Close your eyes…come on, close your eyes."

Jared pouted cutely, putting on his best kicked-puppy look.

"Jared" the hunter mock-glared down at the man "Close your eyes, or you'll ruin it."

Jared huffed and pouted, but eventually settled down into the mattress and closed his eyes. He tried to figure out what his lover was doing by sound alone, but all he got was a twinge in his temples from straining his ears. There was a shuffle, a clack of sorts, and the ever-shifting weight of the hunter moving.

Something cold closed around his wrist, tightening to the point where he knew he couldn't get it over his hand.

Sam took his hand, voice hoarse, "Ok, open your eyes."

Jared open his eyes obediently, finding his lover staring right back at him. Sam's left hand was laced with his right, holding them up at eye level. Something caught Jared's attention, locking his gaze onto their wrists. Two identical metal bracelets, both silver with a vague leaf design etched deep into it's surface. He looked closer and saw a round indention on each in one spot, like for a screwdriver.

"What are these?" Jared cocked his head to the side, eyes alight "They're…nice."

"I was doing some research online and found these, they looked perfect for us" Sam placed a kiss on the inside of his lover's wrist, keeping their fingers interlocked "These are Cartier bracelets, they were popular in the 1970's. They're put on and taken off only with these special screwdrivers, and they're both different. This brand is water-resistant, so we can shower with them.. I keep your screwdriver, you keep mine."

Jared's eyes widened slightly at the level of trust this gift meant. This was just like the tattoo, something to show the level of trust between them. Jared curled his fingers around the offered screwdriver, heart fluttering sweetly at the sentimental value.

"Do you like it?" Sam bit his lower lip, kind of apprehensive about it.

"I love them" Jared laced his free hand in copper strands, bringing him down for a kiss. Sam gave a slight moan of surprise, but smiled against the lip-lock and responded happily. They devoured each other, not giving an inch and crushing their chests so tight they could feel each breath. They were just really getting into it, hands starting to wander, when Jared pulled back and shook his head.

"Dean and Jen-"

Sam's eyes held that certain sparkle, "If they wake up…they can take notes."

With another crush of their mouths, Jared's protests were gone.

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {14-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: I'm pretty sure I said this already, but so you know…pics of Ryanimay and banners can be found in the link in my FF profile**.)**

They were pretty close to Lawrence, Kansas when they decided to stop one final time. Sam and Dean finally admitted they were going to see Missouri, and Jared was instantly sent into a spiral of giddiness. Of course, then they had to explain who Missouri Moseley was to Jensen. So they decided to hole up in a motel a few miles from the town, where Jared and Sam instantly dominated the room.

That brings us to now.

Two lean, young bodies lay in the middle of the motel bed, covers kicked to the floor and pillows discarded. They were both dripping with sweat, naked as the day they were born. Sam was flat out on his back, chest heaving and eyes closed in post-coital bliss. His hand was idly threading through honey hair, lazily twisting the locks around his digits.

Jared was curled up on his lover's side, his leg thrown between his and a hand splayed on one strong pec. He panted hard into tan skin, sweat and pheromones heavy on his tongue. Another similarity between them, the ends of their hair curled when they got hot and heavy.

Sam's whole body was alive with a thrum, eyes shut so Jared wouldn't see the black in them. At this very moment, he felt his very _soul_ flexing and writhing within him. The power, the demon blood, was hot and alive inside his veins.

"Mine" Sam murmured, dancing his fingers down the back of his lover's neck. Jared purred, unfurling beneath his touch like an overgrown cat when the cool of Sam's bracelet touched his neck.

"I love how we always get the room" Jared lifted himself up, smiling and blissful "And I love you."

"Love you too, Jay" Sam replied smoothly, eyelashes fluttering open to reveal normal hazel eyes.

"Mmm, this was so much fun" Jared leaned up, brushing a last kiss on his lips "But I need a shower."

Sam whined at the loss of the solid warmth in his arms, the actor easing off the bed.

"Why?" Sam pouted, sitting up.

"Because I'm sticky" he complained, starting to walk away.

Sam hesitated for only a moment, then his eyes flickered.

Jared was almost to the bathroom door when two icy hands seized his hips, pulling him backwards. He immediately looked down, but found no one holding him. His heart picked up a runner's pace in his chest, he stumbled back towards the bed.

Sam pulled his lover straight back into his arms, eyes dyed an inky black. He purred in contentment, hot flesh pressed against him once again. He folded his arms across his lover's lean torso, holding him in place as he dropped kisses all along his neck.

"Sam" Jared's voice was hard, a little more than angry.

"Come on, Jay, one more?" Sam was ready to beg, his body thrumming _moremorepowermore_ and he didn't want to deny it "Want you so bad already."

"Sammy, pet…" Jared purred, turning in the man's hair. His smile was sickly sweet, his touch light as his fingers danced up a tan shoulder. He traced the curve of his neck, his cheek, and finally threading his fingers through damp locks. Sam melted into the touch, craving it.

Without warning, the intent turned. Jared fisted his hand in the man's hair, yanking him back so hard white-hot pain shot through him. Sam let out a gasp, but it fell upon deaf ears. A scowl marred Jared's pretty face, teeth grit and normally-soft eyes positively _blazing_.

"Don't you ever-" Jared yanked again, a hiss escaping the hunter "-_ever_ use your power against me. I swear on your eyes, Sam, I'll walk out and never come back. I don't care if it'll kill us both, I never want to be helpless to it again. Got me, _lover_?"

Sam nodded as best he could, gazing apologetically into the actor's face.

Jared let him go, getting off the bed and onto his feet.

"I'm sorry Jared-" Sam reached out for his lover, but drew back with a muttered curse and a low hiss.

"Don't touch me" Jared growled, storming off. He closed the bathroom door with a slam, leaving the Winchester alone in the room.

Sam gazed down at his hand in shock, almost unable to breath.

Burns…raw, throbbing _burns_ on his fingertips.

He collapsed back onto the bed, wondering what the hell this meant.

()()()

When Jensen and Dean found themselves kicked out of the motel room, they thumbed their noses at the younger men and decided to go out for a drive. Kansas had a lot of empty roads, they drove around for almost an hour before they even passed another car. At least it was prettier here, the air wasn't so thick with humidity and a fresh breeze kept the sweat off their skin. There were lots of trees, wooded areas between stretches of road that kept the sun from melting the Impala.

They were young and free for the day, what could they do?

Belt "Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie at the top of their lungs in semi-tune to the radio, that's what.

"Blood on her skin, dripping with sin! Do it _again_!" they sang loudly, pumping their fists in the air and banging their heads "Living dead girl!"

The song wrapped up, leaving them hoarse and smiling. They both cringed and gagged in unison when that crappy band who sang "Lips Of An Angel" came one, Jensen frantically turned off the radio after only the first lyric was uttered.

"So, Jen" Dean began, eyes still on the road "Are those _Days Of Our Lives_ bitches anything like they are on the TV?"

"Worse, man" the light-haired man chuckled "One word: _frigid_."

They laughed it off, complaining that actresses usually were.

Something caught Jensen's eye once they broke from a line of trees, something so pretty he had to gape. There, off the dirt road, was a single tree. There, off the gravel road, was the biggest apple tree he had ever seen. It had to be more than 20ft, still lush even in the heat. It was between the transition of end-blossoming and apple-blooming, pink flower-like leaves still clinging to it while green colored it in stripes. Immature green apple buds were ripening amidst the buds, some mere lumps while other were turning pink.

"Pull over, Dean" the actor begged, tugging at his lover's sleeve and pointing "Under that."

Dean complied with a dramatic sigh, easing the Impala off the road. He carefully rode over the few fallen apples, not wanting to hurt his tires. The sound the leaves made when the wind picked up surrounded them, a rustling whisper. The branches stretched out just far enough to shade the car, the hunter parked the car beside the bulk of the tree trunk.

"Ok, now what?" Dean looked around, skeptical.

"Now, lover, we have our own time" Jensen purred, sliding into his lover's lap with little resistance. Their mouths met hotly, though Dean was a little surprised by the sudden assault. With one smooth movement, he lowered the seat all the way down and pushed it back to give them more room. Jensen broke the kiss and grinned down at him, eyes dark.

"I've always wanted to fuck in this car" Jensen stated, rocking their hips slowly and pulling a gasp from the hunter "Though all my fantasies have been outside. You pinning me against the door, a quickie before the others catch us…" he mouthed kisses along Dean's jaw, enjoying the hitch in his breath "…on the hood, the sun-kissed metal searing my back as you spread my thighs, get me open for you. Take me right there, heat beating on and within us. I'd try to get leverage, claw at the hood -_cause you're just that good, baby_- but the Impala'd be _so_ slick…I'd just have to take it."

"Fuck, Jenny, you're gonna kill me" Dean growled, all but ripping the shirt from the slighter framed man. In a moment, all that smooth, light caramel skin was exposed to his hungry mouth. He attacked it with a fever, tasting the soft flesh of his neck and the firmer stretched over his collarbone. He tongued at the tattoo, the slighter man finding the skin hypersensitive.

Jensen writhed beneath that talented mouth, not for the first time thankful for the plush of their lips. Some physical similarities were good, but…there's some differences he liked more than others. He rocked his hips down, feeling the hefty bulge beneath the denim of his lover's pants. Dean was a bit thicker than him, beating him by half an inch. He wasn't some little thing, but Dean Winchester was _made_ for porn.

"Wanna feel you in me, babe" Jensen's accent thickened with each wave of lust that crashed over him "Wanna feel all _this_."

Jensen tore at his lover's jeans, the dark material parting enough for his hand to squirm inside. He cupped Dean through his boxers, grinning at the raw heat that seared his palm.

"Pretty boy" Dean murmured against the actor's chest, hot breath washing over a stiffening nipple "So hot for me."

"Always" Jensen released the man, pushing his way up the hunter's t-shirt "Hurry up and fuck me. It's been _hours_, Dee."

Dean was into it, shucking off his jacket as their mouths met again. He was about to tear his jeans all the way off when he heard something, a faint roar of a truck.

"What was that?" Dean asked, moist mouths still crushed together.

"The wind, I think" Jensen sighed "Cause no one else knows where we are."

Dean shook his head, diving back in. What the hell was he doing? Jensen was in his lap, flushed from navel to cheek, horny and willing. Why was he trying to distract himself? He raked blunt nails over his lover's shoulders, red lines blooming as Jensen arched and keened into it. He wanted to rip those bleached out jeans off and take what was his…

Dean happened to glance out the fogging window, the proverbial bucket of ice water falling over him.

"That's my dad outside the car!"

Dean's scream startled Jensen, but not as much as the door getting pulled open.

John Winchester was a great hulk of a man, thick muscles and arms like a lifter. The scowl on his face was pure anger, it was enough to draw a whimper from the actor. He was hauled out of the car, bare feet stumbling at the awkward angle he was so roughly pulled.

"Who are you?" a knife was to his throat suddenly, the much bigger man's face right in his "_What_ are you?"

"I…I…" Jensen felt stunned, like he had fallen into water from high up. The knife bit his throat, causing him to wince and try to get away. The fingers clamped over his shoulder held tighter, the sound of his own blood vessels breaking nearly deafened him. Before he could even contemplate an intelligent answer, John's dark eyes found his tattoo.

"I'm human" Jensen choked out his plea, knees going weak beneath him.

Jensen found himself tossed aside like a doll, barely catching himself with his palms. He cooled down fast, the grass sapping the heat right from his limbs. He managed to sit himself up, dirt staining his side and all down his arms. Blood trickled down from his throat, shoulder throbbing from the rough treatment.

Jensen went from aroused to terrified so fast it made his head spin.

The time it took Dean to pick his jaw up off the floor and scramble out of the car, John had already pulled a jug of holy water out of his truck. He unscrewed the rosary-embedded lid, his stride confident as he went to the actor's side. Jensen looked up at him in horror, realizing what was about to happen.

Dean saw his near-bear lover cowering on the ground and panicked, "Dad-!"

"_Christo!_" John bellowed, overturning the heavy jug onto Jensen's head. The man sputtered, ducking his head as thick waves of water hit him. He put his forearm up to protect his face, spitting onto the ground. He tried not to appear as if it hurt him, but it was damn degrading. His nerves were rubbed raw by the display, the water hitting his skin so hard it nearly stung.

Jared had said it was a bit strange, someone throwing holy water on you thinking you were a demon. Actually, Jensen had seen Dean throw a flask of holy water on more than one person, and all three times it had been a demon. If he was indeed a demon, he should be screeching and smoking and peeling…not sputtering and wet and humiliated.

"Not a demon" John muttered once the jug was empty, throwing it aside. He turned on his son, who was still a bit flushed and swollen-mouthed. His pants were undone, shirt crumpled up enough to reveal a line of skin. His son looked lost, more than scared, and maybe an undertone of outraged.

"What the hell are you doing?" John went right up to him, fisting his collar in his fist.

"Uh…" Dean swallowed "Nice to see you too, Dad."

"Don't be cute" John sneered, way to pissed and confused to put up with lip "Who is this boy? Why the hell were you about to _fuck_ him in the Impala?"

Dean couldn't help but give a snort of amusement, "That's your only concern? That I was gonna do him in the car? Not the fact he has my face? That's kind of twisted, even for you Dad."

That was enough, John Winchester was already on edge. He busted his kid in the mouth without hesitation, feeling skin split beneath his palm. Dean staggered away, bracing his hand on the Impala. His mouth quickly swelled for another reason, hot with blood and pain. The younger hunter heaved a breath, wiping the blood off his chin as soon as it flowed.

Jensen couldn't take anymore, he reached out to the nearest weapon…

John nearly yelped when an apple knocked him upside the head, flinching and ducking away. He reached up and fingered the smarting spot, looking over.

"That's enough!" Jensen stood, cold and shivering. He busted between them, somehow all six feet nothing of him standing up against all six-six of John Winchester. He glared fiercely at the man, not one to back down just because someone was bigger than him. "You need to calm down, alright? Dean gets smart, yeah, but that's no reason to bust his mouth! You've established I'm not a demon, and I wasn't going to hurt your son, so you should stop getting so angry! Do you want to have a heart attack?"

Jensen shivered violently, but didn't break eye contact, "I'm sorry we disrespected your car, but you _did_ give it to Dean. He should be allowed to do whatever he wants in it, right?"

John looked as if he'd been slapped, "But you-!"

"Yes, we look a lot alike, but my name is Jensen Ackles. I'm no way in no way, shape, or form related to you" Jensen huffed, already tired of explaining this to people "But there's a logical explanation for it. If you pause to catch your breath, we'll all go to Missouri's place and she can tell you the whole story. But you have to promise to behave, alright John? I've heard really great things about you, so don't tarnish your reputation so early in our relationship."

Jensen's lower lips quivered, "Now…a gentleman would offer his coat to the man he just doused with holy water."

John just stared slack-jawed at the Texan, frozen in place. But Jensen's stare was unwavering, and Dean watched in fascination as his father shucked off his coat and held it out.

"Thank you, sir" Jensen's smiled brilliantly, slipping on the bulky warmth. It wasn't freezing outside or anything, but that breeze that had kept them cool earlier had started biting at his wet skin.

"Now, let's get going" Jensen walked past his lover "We'll follow you, ok John?"

The older hunter nodded absently, still staring at the spot where the actor once was.

Dean straightened up, unsure what to do.

Jensen opened the passenger door, throwing a glare at his lover, "Pick up your mouth, Dean. Unless you want me to drive?"

"I got it, Jen" Dean stated. He passed his father as they made their way to their respective vehicles. He received a sort-of-affectionate pat on the shoulder, his father's way of saying he was sorry for overreacting.

Soon, they were both on the road. Dean kept stealing glances at his lover, though his eyes remained mostly on the tail of his father's truck. Jensen was absently tapping out "This Is Halloween" on the windowsill. The Texan looked too damn relaxed, but there was a certain tension around his eyes.

Dean just blurted it out, "That was the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Jensen looked over, "What?"

"You just did something I've been wanting to do for 20 years" Dean's smiled was simply jubilant "You stood up to my dad, man!"

"And that makes you hot?" Jensen just stared "And you call Jared kinky?"

"Sorry" some pink dusted the line of Dean's face, bringing out some of his subtle freckles "I guess I'm still kind of wound up from earlier."

Jensen's look went from confused to seductive in under a second, "Still feeling it, huh?"

"What can I say?" Dean shrugged, eyes on the tailgate of his father's truck "You rev me, Jen."

Before Dean knew it, a hand was over his crotch. He gave his lover a shocked look, but Jensen just continued to smile at him as he unbuttoned the man's pants.

"I could blow you right here, lover" Jensen muttered, leaning in and nuzzling at his lover's shoulder "I'll use lots of tongue…you'll be done before you know it."

Dean was ready for it, but one thing stopped him, "Could you take off my dad's coat, it's kind of weird."

Jensen shed it without a thought.

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (It's all about us)**_

**Author's Note:**  
_I strongly believe in condoms, all couples gay or otherwise should wear them while having intercourse. If you believe you should not wear a condom while having sex, then for the love of you and any future children you may have, please have yourself and your partner checked out at your local clinic for previous STD's before you actually engage in the act. Be smart, wear a love-glove. Thank you :)_


	15. Chapter 15

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {15-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

John, Dean, Jensen, and Missouri sat around a dining room table. Dean was currently devouring a piece of pie, and Jensen was texting his friend Chris on his Blackberry (thankfully back in his clothes.) There were butterfly bandages on his neck, the cut cleaned and fixed by Missouri herself. John kept glancing between the two, taking note of their physical differences and similarities. Missouri stirred her honey tea, calm as anything. They were waiting on-

Bobby walked in, instantly stopping when he saw the two of them.

"Huh" he rumbled, cocking his head to the side "Why's the guy from _Devour_ here?"

Jensen instantly lit up, "You've seen my movie?"

John perked up, "What's this?"

"Jensen's a celebrity, Dad" Dean stated, causing his lover to flush prettily "He does a lot of work."

"I'm hardly a celebrity" Jensen's modest murmur was nearly lost by the slamming of a door. There were hushed voices, some scraping, then another slamming of a door.

"_Just stay the fuck away from me, Sam!_"

"_But Jay-_"

Jared appeared in the doorway, lugging two duffle bags over his shoulders (his own and Jensen's.)

The first one to speak was Bobby, who just pointed at him and said, "Why's the guy from _House of Wax _here?"

John was about to get outraged again, but looked closer, "Hey…it _is_ Wade."

"Oh great, _fans_" Jared sneered, stepping into the room. Sam followed him, a worried look on his face when he spotted his father.

Sam swallowed hard, "Dad…?"

"John Winchester?" Jared almost forgot his anger, but waved it off "Later, I need some girl time. Come on, pretty boy."

"Wha?" Jensen found himself hauled out of the chair by the collar of his shirt, his best friend dragging him towards the stairs.

"Jared!" Sam pleaded, coming at him. Jared whirled on the man, pulling his knife out of his belt and holding it at arm's length. Sam froze, hazel eyes wide.

"_Don't_, Sam" Jared's voice cracked, but the knife was steady in his hand "I will take you down with everything I am right now. So just…give me some space, man."

Sam nodded, throwing his hands up and stepping back. The guilt only piled on when the overhead light caught brilliantly off his Cartier bracelet, a heavy pang in his heart when he realized he had betrayed the trust between them.

Jared grabbed Jensen by the arm again, hauling him up the stairs.

Sam turned, holding out his arms, "So, that's Jared and Jensen. What do you think, Missouri?"

Missouri crinkled her nose, "Jensen seems respectable enough, but Jared looks a little sour."

"God, Sam, what did you _do_?" Dean pushed away his empty plate, glaring at his brother "I've never seen Jared so pissed."

Sam sighed, running a hand over his eyes, "I Used on him."

"You _what_?" Dean's eyes went wide, mind racing with possibilities "You know he barely tolerates the demon powers, man."

John narrowed his eyes at his youngest son, "You've been Using?"

Sam just scowled at him, "Oh shut up, like you care."

John was about to get up and start something, but Missouri slapped his hand with a rather large wooden spoon and spat _none of that_.

"I kind of…" Sam wrung his hands, worrying his lower lip "I kind of dragged him back into bed, I didn't want him to leave."

Dean just put his face in his hands, shaking his head.

Bobby tisked, "That sounds an awful lot like rape, Sam."

The youngest Winchester bristled at the words, "Don't even say that!"

Bobby just kind of shrugged, "S'true, Sam. Rape is making someone do something against their will."

Sam just huffed and sat down, looking guilty and hurt, "He couldn't even look at me all the way here."

"Moseley" John drawled, sitting back in his seat "Why don't you just tell me what's going on?"

Bobby looked over at her, "Yeah, I'd like to hear this story."

"Well…" Missouri pushed away her tea, settling in for the tale "It all started with a dark and stormy night, Dean Winchester and Jensen Ross were born…"

()()()

Jared kept up his anger until he reached what he supposed (rightly so) was the guest room. He threw both the duffle bags against the wall, but unsatisfaction coursed through him and his anger faded.

Jensen locked the door, seeing the defeat that flooded over his best friend, "Spill, Jay. Why did you threaten to cut off Sam's dick and feed it to him? And, may I point out, you were so angry that you forgot you _really _like his dick…so this must be serious."

Jared was rubbing a thumb over his lower lip, staring at the floor, "Yeah, Jen. I had just got done getting a piece of him when he…he Used on me, man."

"Like, demonic power usage?" Jensen's eyes widened in terror "Did he hurt you?"

"No, it was kind of innocent" Jared waved it off physically "I wanted a shower, he wanted another round. He just kinda…pulled me back into his arms."

Jensen sat hesitantly down on the bed, one hand fiddling with the bedspread, "Jay…you kinda did admit that you liked it when he-"

"The pants thing was different" Jared spun, tears welling in his eyes "It felt like ice on me, Jensen. He was mentally holding me, pulling me back…I couldn't fight him…"

"Come here, Jared" Jensen cooed, opening his eyes. The overgrown puppy sniffled pathetically, then crawled onto the bed. He settled himself in Jensen's embrace, pushing his head just under the older man's chin. He buried his face into his neck, letting loose all his pain.

Jensen held his best friend as he cried, knowing it wouldn't be the last time this would happen. Jared was such a happy, trusting person…and Sam was too quick to push him. He felt hot tears fall onto his neck, seeping into the collar of his shirt. Not many people could reduce this man to tears…

"I don't like this part of him" Jared confessed in the barest of whispers, Jensen had to strain to hear him "I don't care about the demon blood, but it's getting to the point…I can feel him changing, in my soul…I want to save him, Jen, I do."

Jensen only hugged him tighter, "You can't save everyone, Jared."

"How can I have a personal pair of handcuffs and hate being held down?" Jared chuckled weakly, sounding raw even to his own ears.

Jensen frowned when his friend's pathetic laugh cut off, "You don't have to make light of this, Jay. Just let it out…then go down there and let Sam grovel."

"I'm just so tired of being confused" Jared wasn't sure he wanted to start admitting everything, but tried "All these weird things have been happening, and I'm not sure I'm so normal anymore…and I'm scared, but not really. Just…_confused_."

He burnt Sam when he thought he was in danger, he touched a ghost, sang to it to calm it down, and he entered Faerie and didn't succumb to it's spell like his friends. What that old Fay had said to him…that ghost kid…and in his nightmare, what that Crossroads demon had said. He felt this stirring inside of him, something that wanted to rebel every time Sam used his power.

Jared groaned, burying himself deeper into Jensen.

()()()

"Soulmates" John sighed, rubbing his mouth and sitting back in his seat "Well, I'll be damned."

Dean cast him a glare, "Dad, don't joke."

"I think it's pretty cool" Bobby stated uncharacteristically "They've got their soulmates. No more wondering if they'll ever find someone in their lives, searching, rolling with a new club bunny every night. It's kind of reassuring…if you're into that sort of thing."

"I sure as hell am" Sam's gaze was wistful as he stared after the stairs "If I haven't screwed it up already."

"You better not have" Missouri came in, a new batch of tea ready. She poured a special jasmine mixture, setting it in the space beside Sam. The hunter tried to reach for it, but got his hand slapped. "Not for you, Sam! Like I said, I spent too much energy finding out your connection to him for you to ruin it."

"For the record…" Dean spoke up "Jensen and I are doing _very_ well."

"That boy is a _firecracker_" John ran a hand through his hair, exasperated.

"You guys should have seen it!" Dean crowed, joy on his face "Dad pulled him out of the car, and Jensen just came up fighting. Told him to calm the hell down before he had a heart attack!"

Bobby eyed them both, "What…was he doing?"

John decided just to throw it out there, "They were fucking in the Impala!"

And Bobby just freaking lost it. He threw his head back and pressed his forearm to his mouth, but he couldn't contain the laughter that ripped from him.

"You saw Dena's bare naked ass?" Bobby slapped his friend on the back, shaking his head "Poor man."

"No, but he got a good eyeful of my lover" Dean narrowed his eyes at his father, instantly sobering "Poured a whole jug of holy water on him while he was lying in the dirt. And thanks for putting bruises on him and cutting his neck, Dad."

"It wasn't anything I couldn't handle, Dean" Jensen appeared from upstairs, walking past his lover and trailing a hand along his shoulders. John watched with intent as his son's eyes followed the Texan's movements, a slight shiver working it's way down to his fingers. Jensen flashed a smirk at the older hunter, silently speaking.

_See what I can do to your son? He's not just your solider anymore, he's mine._

Jared appeared at the stairs next, thankfully looking as if he hadn't just cried his eyes out on his best friend's shoulders. Sam stood, but was kind of afraid to move forward. The actor's eyes were on the floor, chewing on his lower lip. He trudged forward like a scolded kid, rubbing his wrist with his hand behind his back. He cleared his throat, standing before his tall lover.

"So, I'm sorry" Jared admitted, refusing to look his lover in the eyes "But, uh…don't Use on me again, ok? I trust you a lot, Sam…we don't need that between us."

"You have no reason to be sorry, I should be _begging_ for your forgiveness" Sam put his fist below the man's chin, lifting him and catching his eyes "You forgive me, right?"

Jared dropped his eyes to the side for a moment, but looked back up and nodded, "Yeah, Sammy."

Sam's smile was brilliant, kind. He stole a chaste kiss, reassuring them both that everything was ok. Jared melted into it, how could he not? Then he realized who was here and stepped away, plopping down into the seat next to his lover. He pointed at the tea then to himself, smiling brilliantly when Missouri nodded.

"Sometimes you make me wonder why I like it rough, Sammy" Jared sighed dramatically, curling his fingers around the steaming cup and bringing it to his lips.

Bobby just kept laughing.

"I didn't mean to bruise you, Jensen" John stated, his voice deliberately calm "But you can understand that I thought my son was being attacked by an incubus."

"An incubus?" Dean scowled "You think I'm vain enough to be sucked dry by myself?"

"I'm sorry he doused you, son" Bobby reached out once the Texan sat down, gently taking his chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted the boy's head from side to side, examining his face. "How could you have hurt something so cute, John? This boy has the prettiest mug this side of Mid-West."

Jensen flushed right up to his hairline, dropping his eyes, "Thanks."

Dean narrowed his eyes, a pang of jealousy running through him. Missouri just laughed at them.

"A whole jug?" Jared's brow crease "Dean only threw a flask on me."

"Way to tell tales out of school, Jay" Dean cast a glare down at the actor, who obliviously stared off into space (but a smile was tugging at his lips.)

"Good" John stated "I'd be surprised if you hadn't."

"Yep" Jared just kept going, both Sam and Dean winced as they realized where the story was going "I was just laying there, innocently making-out with my boyfriend. Then, half-naked and kinda turned on, he pinned me to the bed and doused me."

Bobby nearly choked he started laughing so hard.

John gagged a little, afraid he had just thrown up in his mouth.

A wide grin split Missouri's face, "Oh, I like you boy!"

"And you are a most-gracious hostess" Jared raised his cup of tea, smiling now "You're the one who told Sam I wasn't evil, right?"

"I am, child."

Jared gave her a wink, "Well, you are much lovelier than Sam described."

Missouri laughed boisterously, shocking everyone by the carry of it, "Oh, I _knew_ you would be sweet!"

"So you two are…" John gestured between Jared and Sam, nose crinkled "Like Jensen and Dean?"

Jared shot his lover a look out of the side of his eye, "We are."

"Yeah, Dad" Sam leaned forward on his elbows, giving his father a smug grin and a quirk of his eyebrow "Have anything to say about that?"John clenched hit jaw, "Not really, Sammy."

"It's _Sam_" the youngest hunter snapped, sitting back in his chair. Jared just sighed into his tea, letting it bath his tongue and sooth his nerves.

"You've been traveling with 'em?" Bobby glanced between the two actors "Are they any good in the field?"

"We've trained them, their pretty good" Dean conceded "Jen shoots like a pro, and Jared's really good around the supernatural. Calmed down a ghost with just his voice…or so Sam tells me."

Sam glanced down at his raw fingertips, but kept an easy expression on his face, "Never seen anything like him."

"Good, good!" Bobby slapped Jensen's shoulder "You boys are gonna have to show me what you're worth, later. Give you some real lessons, test your gut."

"We better be tough" Jensen glowed with the attention "We're being hunted down by a demon. So far, we haven't seen him much. But he attacked Jared in the middle of the night and Dean in an ally."

Sam snorted in disgust, "Coward."

"He's after your connection, huh?" Bobby sneered "Just like a demon. Take something good, sent down by the PTB, and turn it around into something ugly."

Dean gave his father a sly look, "Have you, uh…seen anything good on the TV lately, Dad?"

Bobby gave a knowing snort, but didn't comment.

John's brow creased, "Unlike some of you, I don't have time to lay around and watch TV."

Jensen sighed quietly in relief.

"That hybrid is going to be hard to kill" Sam huffed, blowing bangs out of his eyes "My demon blood doesn't work on him."

Jared winced, but said nothing.

John locked his eyes on his oldest son, "How many bullets do you have left in the Colt?"

Dean shot a sideways glance at Sam, "I wouldn't know, I don't carry it."

"One" Sam replied without hesitation, pointedly ignoring the frown that marred his father's face.

"I've got some leads on Azazel" John declared gruffly "You need to save that last bullet for him."

"We will" Sam replied exasperatedly, sending off waves of frustration.

Jared didn't know how, but it hit him. He didn't know if he was reading someone's mind or if he was picking up vibes from Sam. He almost dropped his tea cup, staring down at the table with wide-eyed horror. Flashes came to him, from Dean maybe?

Mary Winchester made a deal with Azazel to bring back John…if he did, he could visit a baby in ten years…Sam.

"You…" Jared looked up, unsure whether to be pissed at John or start crying "Mary made a deal to bring you back, but only if he could have Sam. Because of you, because of your recklessness…"

_You did this to him! You made him like he is! You made him a demon!_

John narrowed his eyes, "Listen, kid, you don't know anything."

"I know enough" Jared stood, lower lip quivering "I have to…I can't…I'm sorry."

Jared stumbled out of the room, clinging to the walls for support. Somehow he made it outside, all but falling down the stairs. He dropped to his hands and knees as his stomach lurched, emptying the contents all over the ground. He heaved pathetically, loosing what little he'd eaten in the past two days.

He wasn't supposed to be like this, fragile and sickly. He was a happy, warm person. Damn it! What was wrong with him? This supernatural crap was slowly sucking the life out of him, this worry about Sam, all this traveling. He desperately wished for some stability, and all he had was…

Sam, Dean, and Jensen were his only family now…the only sure thing he had.

"Jay!" Jensen came down the stairs, making the others stay inside. He went to his best friend's side, who was sputtering and wiping at his mouth. Jared rocked back on his heels, eventually getting to his feet with the help of Jensen's shoulder.

"Sorry, man" Jared leaned into his best friend, heart heavy "I need to pull myself together."

"How did you know that about their mom?" Jensen inquired "Dean never told me."

"I think I…" Jared shook his head, unsure "Maybe I picked it up on the soul connection, who knows? All I know was that I was sitting there, trying to calm down…and then I get slapped in the face with this new memory…this series of events that I've never experienced. But I saw it through my own eyes."

Jensen gaped at him, "You couldn't of!"

"It's his fault, Jen" Jared set his jaw, centering himself as best he could "It's John's fault my soulmate, the only man I've ever truly loved, is a monster."

Jensen stepped away, sighing heavily, "You have to stop worrying about this, Jay. You look horrible, man. You need a good meal and a decent night of sleep."

Jared smiled sweetly, "I'm sorry, cowboy. I guess I'm being depressing, huh? All this stuff…I mean, I was kind of thrown into it. I'm not saying you had it easier…but I wish I'd had a guardian angel to slowly ease me into this. It's kind of…overwhelming."

"Come on" Jensen hooked an arm around his best friend's lean waist, holding him close "Let's get you settled into a nice, plush bed. I'll tell them you're just kind of sick, and you need rest."

Jared sighed, "Can I have some more tea?"

Jensen smiled indulgently, "I'll even make it myself."

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about love (It's all about us)**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {16-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: Severe AU, remember? Missouri's house is as I say it is, as is whatever else I say)

It was the next morning before Jared even got out of bed, Jensen had tucked him in so nicely. Sam hadn't even tried to come in, giving the man some space. It was still early yet when he awoke, blinking up at the cream colored ceiling only to find soft lavender light flooding the room.

Jared kicked off the covers, stretching with a purr. It was the best night of sleep he'd had since he started on this journey. Sure, spending a night in Sam's arms was something he'd never give up, but he needed some time to be alone. Crushed together with three other men wasn't exactly healthy for his self-esteem, because -_who was he kidding?_- Sam and Dean were cut and molded to absolute perfection from years of hunting.

Though Jensen was too all-over Dean to care, he found himself alone in his insecurity.

Jared fingered his bracelet absently, his heart physically aching for his lover at this moment.

Jared took a quick shower, hoping to get in some breakfast before everyone started crowding downstairs. He threw on an old pair of jeans and his soft-grey hoody, barely giving himself a glance in the mirror. He peeked out the door, glad to find the hallway empty. He crept downstairs like a cat, finding only Missouri cooking something in the kitchen.

"Ma'm?" Jared spoke softly, making sure to keep his distance at the doorway. She turned from the stove, bacon sizzling in a skillet before her.

"Don't call me that, sugar" Missouri smiled "Call me Missouri, everyone does. You hungry, baby?"

"A little" Jared stepped into the lovely kitchen, warming to it "I'm sorry about yesterday when I arrived. Some things had happened, I was a little shook up. I tried to right it, but I just…I'm very sorry."

"It's alright, it truly is" Missouri flicked her fingers "We were all a bit worried for you there at the end, but that sweet Jensen assured us you were just feeling unwell."

"Jensen really is the sweetest, isn't he?" Jared smiled to himself, sitting down at the table "The best friend I ever had, that's for sure."

Moseley didn't let her suspicion creep onto his face, "And Sam was more than upset by your disappearance."

Jared fiddled with the hem of his hoody, "I didn't mean to upset him."

"You're his soulmate, he doesn't like being denied your touch" she turned the burner lower under the skillet "I suspect it goes both ways, anyhow."

The Texan just nodded to himself, but he knew he did what he had to do.

"Did you sleep good, baby?" Missouri came over, peering at him curiously. She reached out gently, sweeping his bangs out of his eyes to see them. Missouri's gaze was penetrating, cutting right through to the depths of his soul. He shivered, her fingertips hot upon his forehead.

The tension broke, she only smiled at him, "You are something special, aren't you?"

"No, not really" Jared admitted.

Missouri narrowed her eyes, "Oh, you know. You know what's stirring inside you, what burned Samuel's hand and what let you touch that ghost."

Jared knew there was no use lying, "I'm scared of what it is."

"Oh, it ain't nothin' as horrible as all that" Missouri tisked, going back to the skillet to flip the bacon "You'll learn it soon enough, I suspect."

"Good" Jared sighed, slumping into the table "I'm getting tired of all this worrying…it's bumming me out, man, I tell ya."

"It'll work itself out, you'll see. Just keep that bright outlook I've seen in your press conferences, you're so gol' dern cute, who could resist?" Missouri plated the entire skillet of bacon, even some sausage thrown in. She slid it in front of him, still smiling like anything.

"All for me?" he inquired innocently.

"Eat up, sugar" she poured him a glass of orange juice from the fridge, putting it in front of him as well "You're gonna need it. John is still iffy about you, and I think you boys will be proving yourself to him."

"Mmmm" Jared groaned, mouth watering at the food "You can only imagine the eagerness that wells up from deep inside me."

The black woman roared a laugh, "I bet I can!"

()()()

(**AN**: I'm sorry, I saw this on _Bizarre Foods_ and couldn't NOT write it. It's pure crack, just ignore it.)

Later in the afternoon, it was lunch time. Everyone was gathering in the dining room, John and Dean looking irritated. They had fought about the gay thing, Dean had tried to tell his father that he had never set eyes on any other man besides Jensen. But his dad just wasn't having it, and it was causing some serious tension. They sat across from each other, still glaring.

Missouri was making a side of frog with the chicken and mashed potatoes, she had three live ones and nothing to do but kill them. Jared hung around her, watching with rapt attention as she killed the first one. Sam entered the kitchen, spotting his lover with some relief.

"Jay?"

Jared turned, smiling sweetly at his lover. He walked up to him, cupping his face and stealing a kiss. Sam was a bit surprised, but gave into it instantly. Jared devoured his lover like he was the only thing he'd ever need, mapping out the moist cavern of his mouth with his tongue. Two full minutes, no breath, tongues down each other's throats.

Sam pulled away with a slight groan, a pleasant buzz surrounding them, "You ok?"

"Perfect" Jared dropped a last kiss on his cheek, then turned and went back to the woman's side. An idea struck him when Missouri took a knife to the living frog, not thinking a thing of it. He whispered something to her, leaving Sam in the dark. She cut out something for him, which he immediately popped into his mouth. He sauntered back over to his lover, giving him a close-lipped smile.

Sam gave him a wary look, "Jared…what's in your mouth?"

Jared's expression turned innocent, until he opened his mouth. There, resting on his tongue…a beating, dark pink heart. It contracted in his mouth, pumping lewdly on his own muscle. He let the hunter watch it pump for at least 30 seconds, then bit down upon it and swallowed it whole.

Sam gaped, "I am an uncomfortable mixture of frightened and turned on."

Jared grabbed him by his collar, leaning in to nibble his earlobe, "How 'bout we skip lunch and I help you feel a bit more _comfortable_?"

Sam couldn't come up with a good comeback, so he let himself be dragged towards the stairs.

()()()

Missouri's back yard was huge, and it bordered on a heavily wooded area. Jensen had set up a bench down the yard, more than seven feet and lined with empty beer cans. He loaded his .47 carefully, pausing to push up his glasses. Dean was out having a drink with Bobby, so he hoped to get some self-training in. He swung up the pistol, lining up his shot.

He released his breath, and his ammo.

Three cans fell in a line, holes blown in their sides. He grinned to himself, aiming his next shot carefully. The can nearly exploded when his bullet hit it, shrapnel mingling with the blades of grass. Jensen popped off his last two rounds into one can, sending it flying almost five feet.

He paused to reload, satisfied.

"You're a pretty good shot."

The voice was sudden, unexpected. Jensen spun around, bringing up his pistol again. But John Winchester was just as fast, and the Texan found a full-length shotgun in his face. The barrel of the powerful gun brushed his own pistol, they were pretty close.

"Damn, John" Jensen dropped his weapon first as a sign of respect, huffing "Don't do that."

John slowly lowered his gun, letting it settle at his side, "I didn't think you had the balls to pull a gun on somebody, Hollywood."

Jensen sneered at the name, "I better, since I guard Dean's back during hunts."

Jensen turned his back on the hunter, raising his pistol and aiming at the cans again. He shot them all down one after another, feeling a sense of pride in the act. His natural engraved ability combined with his lover's _unique_ teaching techniques made him quite the shot.

Once his chamber was empty, he lowered it to his side.

"Jensen, you and I are probably never going to get along" John began, grabbing the man's shoulder to make their eyes meet "I don't like that my son's weak for you."

"He's not your solider anymore" Jensen hissed through clenched teeth, ripping off his glasses and glaring hard "He's mine, and I'm not giving him up for anything. You, Hell, Sam, Castiel, _no one_. It's my job to keep him safe and square-headed, to make sure he's doing the best he can the way he wants to do it. And you are a big part of the problem, John. Starting with: I don't like how you cracked your own son in the mouth, unprovoked."

John growled, "He's _my_ son, and I've raised him in the way I think is best! How I treat him is none of your business! And, in my defense, I thought he was being attacked."

"You're full of shit!" Jensen barked angrily "You acted out on Dean! Now, I don't know what your problem is, but I'm not going to stand by and watch you stir him up. Dean has a lot of stuff on his plate, he's under a lot of stress. I've been dealing with it the best way _I_ know how, and you're not going to ruin it. He's been to _Hell_, for fuck's sake! Lay off him!"

John tensed, jaw working.

Jensen looked the man over, breath a little heavy. When he peered closer, he started picking up vibes. Vague ideas, maybe he channeled Dean or…was this what Jared was talking about? Nearly tasting the vibes off people? He took an inch, and John's expression only hardened.

"You've never had to share Dean before, have you?" Jensen's voice was low, slowly turning into understanding "Dean's never left your side, at least not mentally. He never went off to college like Sam, never quit hunting. He's a reliable force…and you think I'm trying to take him away?"

John cursed the man's intuition, "You never made a point otherwise."

"Jesus, John, he's your _son_!" the actor was a bit outraged, but merely slipped his glasses back on "He's always going to be your son. I'm not going to take him away from this, I enjoy it. The hunting, the do-gooding, the passion…I feel it. Maybe through him or maybe on my own, who knows? But I do. And I know you mean so much to him…I'm not going to interfere with that."

Jensen mentally scolded himself for not seeing it before, //Now I know how Dean feels about Castiel.//

Jensen put his gun back in his gun holster, turning to the rest of the yard. He started towards the bench, planning on picking up his leftover debris.

"Jensen?"

The actor looked over his shoulder, brow creased.

"Maybe we can share him" John offered "Maybe we can do this."

Jensen nodded, "Yeah, I think so John."

John suddenly gave a snort, "But Sam…well, Jared can just have that brat."

And Jensen freakin' lost it, doubling over and laughing loud in the quiet of the backyard.

()()()

Thankfully, Missouri had a bare room in her home. It wasn't too small, just the right size for what they wanted. Dean and Jared were in there, circling each other in their sparring clothes. The fight was slow at first, just a few fists swung and kicks taken. It was just soft-practice, something Jensen had suggested they do. He had preached about how they couldn't learn everything from their lovers.

"You been feeling ok, Jay?" Dean questioned, though they kept circling each other.

"Dude, I'm fine" Jared assured him, throwing a punch. Dean blocked, counter-punched, the actor blocked, and both stepped away.

"You threw up in the lawn, man, that's not _fine_" Dean stated.

Jared stopped suddenly, throwing off their rhythm. His mind raced, trying to figure out what exactly it was he wanted to say. Dean stopped, standing a few feet away and guarded…but there for him. Jared narrowed his eyes at the floor, trying to come up with something. And when it finally did hit him, it felt so right that he didn't hesitate to ask.

"Punch me in the face."

"What?" Dean's brow creased, giving the man an incredulous look.

"Dean" Jared's voice was dead serious, standing up tall "Punch me…in the face."

"I'm not going to punch you in the face, Jared" Dean sighed "What is this really about, man?"

"_Winchester_!" Jared barked, something flashing in his hazel eyes "Quit being a pussy and hit me! Or are you too scared? Scared that if Sammy sees a mark on my face, he'll squish you with just a look? Wouldn't Jensen just love to see his beloved hunter too much of a God-forsaken bitch to hit a little Hollywood actor?"

Before Jared could utter another word, Dean lunged. He swung back his fist and buried it in the man's face, the thud of flesh-on-flesh loud in the quiet room. Jared didn't make a sound, just staggered back and lost his balance. He fell onto the baby-blue carpet, eyes clenched shut and face flaming.

A full minute went by, Dean gazing at the man in terror.

"Jared, I'm _so_ sorry" the hunter's voice was low "I should've pulled that punch, I didn't mean to do it that hard. Man, are you ok?"

Jared spat upon the floor, more blood than saliva. He wiped at his swollen mouth, grinning when he saw the crimson stain across his fist. Satisfaction raced through him, heart picking up and pounding his blood even harder. He stood upon shaky legs, blood splashed across his teeth and lips.

"That's better" Jared rasped, catching the hunter off-kilter and punching him right back.

Then the fight was for real.

Dean swung a kick at his ribs, but it was caught and thrown away. Using the momentum, Dean threw an elbow. Jared grunted when it caught him in the face, but lashed out with his own punch once his vision stopped spinning. His fist connected with a shoulder by accident, and it felt like hitting a brick wall.

Jared drew back with a low hiss, rubbing his throbbing fist and relishing the blood he felt beneath his fingertips. Dean pounced on him like a tiger, catching him around the middle with those brawny arms. Jared wasn't going to be taken down so easily, he laced his fingers together and brought them down upon the hunter's back. Dean let out a low grunt, using force from his legs to try and haul the actor down. Jared aimed more carefully and brought his folded hands down upon his spine, breaking his hold.

_Punch, duck, swing, block, kick, push, punch, swing._

It was a steady rhythm between them, giving and taking. Blows landed, skin bruised under fists and well-placed kicks. They stayed on their feet, fighting like boxers only with bare fists and feet. They ducked and circled, but Dean was too good and Jared much too persistent. Neither knew how much time passed, but they kept going like animals. No punches were pulled, no kicks half-hearted, no blow softened.

Jared went down first, the hunter's toned leg sweeping his feet right out from under him. He managed to seize fistfuls of Dean's shirt, dragging him down as well. They both shouted "No crotch shots!" at the same time, legs dangerously close to certain areas. They grappled like school boys in the yard, rolling over one another again and again until they were near-dizzy with it. Elbows and knees hit without mercy, leaving interesting bruises.

"Give up, man" Dean muttered in his ear "I'm stronger."

Jared wasn't going to let Dean get out of it that easy.

Jared heaved his weight in a move he didn't know he knew, letting pure instinct take over him. He caught Dean's neck in the crook of his elbow, getting behind him and slamming a knee into the middle of his back. The hunter went down with a harsh grunt, face digging into the carpet so roughly he knew there'd be burns. The term '_carpet-muncher_' crept into his mind, sending Jared into a territory he shouldn't be in.

He had to rile up Dean, he wasn't going to be pitied.

"I wonder what you and Jen are like in bed?" Jared sighed sarcastically, holding a struggling Dean down by shifting his forearm to the nap of his neck and keeping his knee planted in the small of his back "You ever let him top, Dean? Cause, you think we haven't noticed, but we have. Sam, just the other day, asked me why Jenny was limping a little. I just told him…well, I don't remember. But did you fuck him too hard, man? Cause…that's not cool."

"Get off me" Dean growled, throwing the hold and starting the dance again.

They fuckin' let _loose_ on each other, venting their frustrations in strangled groans and solid hits.

Maybe it was hours or even minutes later, but it went on like that in an endless infinity that pointless fights seem to create. Dean got Jared flat on his back, nailing him right in the jaw. With strength that surprised them both, Jared's hand shot up off the carpet and curled around Dean's throat. The hunter coughed, knowing he should wrap his fingers around Jared's wrist and dislodge his grip.

Something happened neither could explain…Dean just _let_ him. Jared tightened his hold, feeling the thick esophagus give way beneath his palm and fingertips. A rush of power coursed through him, his vision was filled with only Dean…struggling for breath. He held onto it a moment longer than he knew he should have, guilt lacing with the power until his own head spun.

Jared released him the instant he knew he had gone too far, eyes lighting up and going wide. Dean stayed above him on his hands and knees, sucking down air like a dog. They both were struggling for breath, the exertion more than they thought it'd be. They realized that -_right then_- it was over.

There would be no winner here, not now…not like this…

They rolled off and out from under each other, dragging their tired bodies across the floor by their fingertips. They settled against the far wall, damn-near bare backs pressing into chilled painted plaster.

Blood flowed from them like water, off their knuckles and down their noses. Bruises began to darken their skin, morbid splotches across chests and arms and beneath clothing. They ached in places they haven't before, and some places were numb that shouldn't be. Jared could feel every inch of him…it ached, throbbed, stung, and it felt so _good_.

Dean sighed hard, blood sputtering from his lips like rain, "There's nothin' like a good, old-school rough-housing."

"I wouldn't know" Jared spat out the taste of his own blood upon the carpet, wiping his lips off on the strap of his wife-beater "I've never really done it. My brother just ignored me, let alone picked fights."

Dean rolled his neck carefully, peering at the man through the sweat that dropped into his eyes, "You have a brother?"

"Jeff, and a younger sister Megan" Jared explained "I was never too close to them, I never really felt a connection to them. They felt like…faux-siblings."

A sympathetic look passed over the hunter's face, "Family's _everything_, Jay."

"You guys are my family now" Jared bumped their shoulders, eyelids heavy "You guys don't want anything from me…all they ever want is money or…"

Jared closed his eyes briefly, "I feel new…I feel _better_."

"It took me beating the shit out of you to make you feel _better_?" Dean scoffed, wiping the blood from his split knuckles off on his cut-offs "That's twisted."

"I know" the actor yawned "Now I'm tired."

Jared fell over, stretching his long body out on the floor. He nuzzled into Dean's firm thigh, relaxing.

"Hey!" Dean grunted, ready to shove the man away "I don't cuddle, Padalecki!"

Jared flipped onto his back, giving the hunter a look of chaste adoration beneath honey-spun lashes, "Mhmm…love you, Dean."

Hazel eyes flutter shut, almost instantly slipping into a doze.

Dean looked down at the man, gaping and a little more than surprised.

The two windows in the room allowed sunlight to flitter in, slanting across them both as the roaming clouds decided. Even a little bloody and kind of bruised, Jared still looked like the most innocent thing. Just as old as Sammy, yet he was much more soft-featured and his hair wasn't quite so shaggy. Gorgeous kid, but twisted. And confusing as fuck!

Dean's neck didn't ache, not as if he had just been choked. Something inside him knew there wouldn't be any marks, but he wasn't sure why. Dean had looked down into this boy's face and let him take his breath. He had no idea what came over him, but it was like he _knew_ Jared wouldn't go through with it. He had watched the guilt chase itself across the actor's face, and he had released his throat the instant Dean knew he couldn't take another second.

Dean's heart warmed to Jared, less as an extension of Sam and more like another brother.

Dean gently carded his fingers through honey hair, "Love you too, Jay."

()()()

Jensen and Sam gaped dumbly at their lovers, a hiss escaping Bobby when he saw them too. John hid a snicker behind his palm, finding it all too damn funny.

Jared and Dean stood there, swollen and bruised and still kind of bloody.

"You guys…" Sam began, but his breath caught "What the hell did you to him, Dean?!"

"I asked him to do it" Jared smiled, wincing when the split on his lip stung "I needed this."

Dean opened his mouth to explain, but found his words cut off by a hard look from his lover.

"No, I don't wanna know, don't tell me" Jensen walked away, hands over his ears "I-I don't want to hear it. You guys are fuckin' nuts! I'm just going to be over here, pretending I have a normal lover and a even more normal best friend. So yeah, over here in The Land of Denial."

Jensen kept rambling, but he was soon outside and his voice got muted.

Dean glanced at his father, "Do I look that bad?"

John just snorted something about a pretty mug, which set Bobby off in a chuckle-fit.

_**TBC**_

_**In you I can trust (It's all about us) **_


	17. Chapter 17

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {17-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: I admit, the sneezing idea came from my friend Amber. Thanks, sweetie, I know you don't like slash as much as me but that story we co-authored was so easy to steal from J)

Jensen dipped his hand into the tub, testing the water. It was steaming hot, barely below boiling…just how he wanted it. He straightened, gingerly shedding his clothes and letting them pool upon the floor. Socks, jeans, his ratty old Judas Priest t-shirt, and his watch. He eased into the water, giving a low groan as the water engulfed his body. Slowly, giving himself enough time to adjust, he sank up his chest. He stretched his lower body out along the bottom, steam swirling up around him.

Missouri was simply _too_ generous, giving Dean and Jensen a room to themselves. Large enough for space, and this bathroom was gorgeous. White porcelain and silver leaf, all of it. Gilded sterling from the edges of the sink-mirror to the cabinets below it. Soft grey walls, marble tiled floor, and a frosted shower stall taking up the corner of the bathroom.

But right there in the middle of the floor was a large ivory tub, more than six feet in length and enough to fit him comfortably. Shined silver knobs, gaudy gold eagle-clawed legs, and a silver finish. The left end was brought out past the rim, giving room to hold a soap dish and a rag.

Jensen idly reached out, curling one of the cloths between his fingers and dipping it beneath the surface. Thanks to a few drops of that lavender bottle on the sink, the water was kind of bubbly. The light caught off them beautifully, reflecting the rainbow in their surfaces.

The steam that swirled around his head made him vertiginous, each breath thick in his lungs. He nearly whimpered as the heat settled into his aching muscles…he scrubbed at his stomach, cleaning his skin of sticky cum. John had made a comment about Hell earlier, and that had sent Dean into a brooding fit. Jensen managed to drag his lover out of it, but that included a good hard fuck. Dean had taken him almost four times in one night…he had almost passed out the third time.

That man was half-bunny or something…

But now Jensen's own melancholy mood was sinking in. He hadn't worked for almost a month and a half, he hadn't had any contact with his family since he talked to his mom. Mackenzie texted him sometimes, as did his good friend Chris, but he couldn't talk to either of them about what he was going through. He couldn't talk to Jared, because that poor boy had had enough for a lifetime. Dean wasn't an option, obviously…the Texan didn't want to appear weak.

And Sam…he wasn't sure if Sam could even be trusted anymore. The demon was getting stronger everyday, and Dean had confessed in him that every time Jared and him had sex…Sam got stronger. It was a terrifying thought, and he tried to shove it aside.

Castiel had tried to explain it to him when he was young, but facing ghouls in the flesh was something much different from scary bed time stories. He had been strangled, possessed, and scared out of his wits just this past month and a half. But he had found love, didn't that make up for it?

Jensen slid beneath the water, slowly. It curled around his neck, his chin, across his mouth and nose, cheeks, eyes…and then he was submerged. He only stayed under a few seconds, but it felt like a baptism. He surfaced with a sigh, running his fingers through his light golden-brown hair and slicking it back.

"God, I can't take this" Jensen murmured, eyes hazy.

Then the thought hit him…maybe he didn't have to?

How easy would it be to slip beneath this water and never come back up? Just dip his head under and take a

deep breath…he heard drowning was peaceful once you stopped struggling. If he just _gave up_…would it be so bad? Dean could take care of himself, and Jared could make another best friend.

With barely an indrawn breath, he ducked his head back in the water. He laid out flat at the bottom, near-scalding hot water pressing into every inch of him. If it wasn't for the damn bubbles, he could have opened his eyes and stared up at the light. If he opened them right now, he would see the air bubbles leave his nose in a steady stream-sigh. He kept himself submerged by pressing his palms into the sides of the tub, head resting in the curve of the it.

It must have been a full minute before his lungs began to ache, throat tightening. Every pore and cell screamed for air, but he denied himself. Then thoughts of his mother flashed through his head…of Mac, of sweet Jared, of whiskey voiced Chris and their endless nights laughing, and of Dean and the times they spent together in and out of the sheets.

His lungs tingled for a different reason all together, a sudden scratchy sensation skimming up and down his throat. His eyes bugged open, realizing what was happening. His chest heaved, and he sneezed right there in the water. He inhaled and thrashed, shocking himself.

Jensen broke through the surface, sputtering and coughing harshly. He expelled the water he had snorted, the suds burning every bit of his nasal passages. Soap stained his tongue, coating his mouth with a gagging base taste. He clawed at his face, shaking his head, face contorted in pain. He nearly threw up right there, whimpering from the fire in his nose.

The light was too bright and he felt numb in places that he shouldn't, but he sucked down all the oxygen he could once he could breath right. He scratched his hands through his hair, causing it to stick up every which-way. Jensen tried to slow his pants, fearing over-oxidation, but his lungs wouldn't hear of it. The actor wiped the suds from his eyes, then attempted to smooth back his hair again.

Once he was sure he wasn't going to pass out, he brought up his knee and put his cheek to it.

"Damn" Jensen muttered to himself, trying to ignore the ache that seemed to penetrate his brain "That was some dumb shit. I can't believe I even…fuck, dieing _burns_."

"What are you doing?"

Jensen reacted dramatically, thrashing his limbs and jolting himself against the side of the tub. Water splashed around him, but none fell on the floor (thankfully.) He saw who was there and instantly relaxed, calm settling over him.

Castiel was now in the bathroom, having used his super-angel-powers of stealth. His hands were casually buried in the depths of his coat pockets, his body leaning against the sink with his back to mirror. Intense cobalt orbs glared at the far wall, the angel looked very displeased.

"Castiel…" Jensen snatched the wash cloth from the bottom of the bottom, letting it curl around his fingers "I wasn't going to _do_ anything…you worry too much."

Castiel didn't look pleased at all, "It looked to me…like you were contemplating suicide, little one."

Something primal snapped inside Jensen, something he didn't like.

"Yeah, and what if I was?" Jensen snapped, his voice holding a sharp edge to it "You never told me it was going to be this hard, Castiel! You never told me that Dean would still be broody and guilt-ridden! He's sucking the _life_ out of me! And I…"

Jensen closed his eyes briefly, letting out of a half-lie, "And I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

"You're his Balance, Jensen Ross, you must do what only you know is right" Castiel replied calmly, cocking his head "Where's Dean?"

"Asleep, the poor thing's tired" Jensen drawled, curling his fingers around the bar of soap and suddsing up the cloth "His dad upset him earlier. That John Winchester…he's a real work of art. How can such a good man be such a total jackass?"

Castiel shrugged, "It's just the way he is, the way he's always been."

"Dean's slipped a bit father from me, but it's nothing I can't deal with. Dean's _my_ solider now, I basically told John where he could shove it" Jensen hiked his leg up and rested the arch of his foot on the side, running the cloth down his leg and leaving a soapy trail in it's wake "I won't let him go for anything, let alone another Winchester.

Castiel suppressed a childish laugh, "Of course not, never."

"There's something I want you to do for me" the actor stated off-handedly, refusing to look at the angel "When this is all over…there's a favor I want you to do for me. It's something only you can do for me, and no one can know.

The angel's face twisted in curious, keeping his eyes locked on the far wall, "What is it?"

"I'll ask you when I'm sure" Jensen didn't look up from the water, holding up the sudsy cloth "Castiel, be a good little angel and wash my back?"

Jensen brought his knee up again, cradling his chin there. He was quite shocked when Castiel shed his long jacket, folding it over his arm before laying it on the sink. He unbuttoned his cuffs and folded up his sleeves, a serene expression on his face. He walked over, taking the cloth from his charge and kneeling on the floor. Jensen sighed at the first brush of cloth on his skin, stretching himself out to give him better access.

"I knew you were taking this too well" Castiel stated.

"There isn't like the bedtime stories" Jensen complained "When I was a kid pining after Dean, I imagined him more as my white knight. Instead…I find myself trying to hold him together."

"You can't be too hard on him, little one" Castiel thought hard how to lighten the mood, his lips quirked "Every time you got scared during one of my stories, I would let you bury in the covers and put your head in my lap. It always seemed to comfort you, and I'd pet your head…"

"_Castiel_" Jensen's voice was a playful whine, squirming beneath the angel's ministrations "I haven't been your 'little one' since I gave it up in the back of a Ferrari when I was sixteen."

"You'll always be my little one" Castiel chuckled good naturedly, dipping the cloth in the water to warm it before stroking over the man's neck "My Jensen…I'll always remember you as the small child searching for his toy, the teenager I helped climb back into his window at midnight. The same young man limping and trying not to look me in the eye…the rebellious boy who stood up to his father, only to get a smack in the mouth. My brightest memory of you is at seventeen, running into your bedroom with your first script and…"

The angel trailed off, Jensen shifting beneath his grip. He paused when his eyes were drawn to the young man's body, taking note of things he hadn't seen before. There were faint hand print bruises peeking out of the water, curling around the man's hips as if still in a grip. There were near-rabid bite marks covering soft curve of his spine, the nape of his neck, his jugular.

Without his permission, his eyes traveled down the curve of the actor's spine. The water was tinged pink there, the curve of buttocks revealing swollen, dark skin.

"Go on, make fun of me" Jensen coaxed "I was all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, begging to know if it was the right choice to move to LA and start acting."

"What is…?" Castiel dropped the cloth in the water, standing up. He circled around the tub, gaze hard and demanding. Jensen withered under the angel's persecution, crossing his arms over his chest like a maiden and trying to duck his head away. The angel looked over every inch, concern and anger mixing a heady brew in the base of his belly.

"Put your arms down" Castiel demanded, the man shook his head weakly. A bit of his true tone slipped in his next words without conscious thought, Jensen shuddered when they touched his ears. "Put your arms down, Jensen Ross, and let me see what he did to you."

Jensen put his hands on the sides of the tub, eyes lowered to the water. There were red blotches on his chest, one nipple worn so raw the teeth marks were still visible. Blunt nail scratches down his chest, his stomach. There was a defeated gleam in those bottle green eyes, like he couldn't have helped what happened.

"What did you let him do?" Castiel rasped, rolling down his sleeves and cuffing them "You look…you're _bleeding_, Jensen. He tore you and he doesn't care?""He doesn't know" Jensen replied, finally raising his eyes "And he isn't going to find out. Sometimes Dean needs to vent, let out all his frustration. He can't lose himself in three different girls a night anymore, and I'm the only one he has that will let him do _anything._"

Castiel was befuddled, "And you don't tell him to ease?"

Jensen scoffed, recrossing his arms and putting them on his knees, "What else am I supposed to do?"

"This isn't how this was supposed to go" Castiel turned his back, rubbing at his eyes "This isn't how Hecate envisioned it all, it couldn't have been. You're supposed to complete him, not be an object of his rage."

"It's nothing I can't handle-"

"You're not handling it right!" Castiel lost his temper, raising his voice to his charge "You can't…I can't let you do this to yourself. Either you rein him in, or…or I'll send you right back to Vancouver."

It was a thing said in desperation, not reason. Jensen puffed up like an indignant cat, color staining his cheeks that had nothing to do with the heat the water was giving off.

"You can't do that" Jensen's voice was a fraught rasp, more despair than anger behind his words "Dean is the other half of my soul, you can't tear us apart."

"I can if I see fit" Castiel turned back, jaw set "It is within my authority."

"Don't be cruel, Castiel…it doesn't suit you" the slighter man scrambled for something that could fix this, anything "Haven't you ever done something against your Father's wishes? Something unsaintly? Something you had to do for only the reason that you knew it was right?"

Flashes of Ryan went through Castiel's mind, the touch of his mouth and hands on his body. As wrong as it was, little guilt came with the knowledge that he had enjoyed every moment spent within his beloved's presence. Yes, he knew what it was like to do something wrong…something he shouldn't, but had to.

His beautiful fallen angel…but it was different with him. Ryan had done some horrible things, but he hadn't done something completely unforgivable yet. There was still a chance of redemption, and that kept his heart pumping out hope.

But to mar Jensen in the heat of passion…was it so different?

"I will…" Castiel dropped his eyes to the tile floor, centering himself "I will let this go. Dean is a passionate person, he is prone to let himself get carried away. He could never hurt you intentionally, not really."

Jensen waited for the angel to go one, a full minute passed. He looked up, finding Castiel gone from the room with only the faintest of rustling wings. The actor was left alone to his thoughts and actions, the water no more than tepid around him and his fingertips pruned. He let out a shaky breath, the only words that hung with him were those that hurt the worst.

"…_You're supposed to complete him, not be a sole object of his rage…You're not handling it right!"_

He wasn't handling this right…ok, he'd show Castiel. Hell, he'd show them all.

Jensen stood from the tub, legs nearly giving out beneath him. Once their lives had calmed down, he was going to slip away and do the unthinkable. And when Castiel tries to refuse like Jensen know he will, he's going to throw his own words back at him like a spiteful lover. Those words sealed his fate, leaving him no other choice.

The decision was bitter on his tongue, but it was made.

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {18-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards. I definitely do not own Ryan, I swear. He is his own, I am just using his image.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: Don't like this pairing? Don't care. Ryanimay is pronounced Rye-on-uh-may.)

It wasn't supposed to be this way, this was never supposed to happen. Not this…a sin great enough to cast him from Heaven and have his wings ripped from him forever.

Castiel sat up in the bed, wiping the sweat from his eyes. He had never felt more naked than he did now, here in this dingy motel room in the dead of night with only a sheet around his hips. A small sound escaped his lips, one of exasperation. Yet he could not commit to his guilt when his vessel still thrummed with pleasure, sweet in his veins and spreading from his fingertips to his lips.

His whole being shook with it.

Beside him, Ryan hummed in pleasure and stretched his bare form on the cheap sheets.

It had started out innocently enough…well, as innocent as their situation could get. Ryan approached him after he left Missouri's home, after he left Jensen's side. Jensen's words had still been buzzing in his head, wisdom beyond his years. Doing something for the sole reason that he knew it was right, be-damning the consequences for his own selfish reasons.

Then Ryan had all but begged him again, touching him with those hands of his and stealing a kiss. Castiel's resolve was destroyed just like that, blessing and damning him with only the touch of his lips. Before he had known it, Castiel found himself transported to this very motel room, being pushed on the bed with shining golden eyes staring down at him.

And now…he had given into earthly pleasure. He had lost himself in another's body…in his beloved's body. He had never done something like this in a vessel, thinking it only for God's beautiful humans. But Ryan had been insistent, tugging at his clothes and kissing him in places that made his toes curl.

"Cass" Ryan purred, sitting up and draping himself over the angel. Castiel shivered, warmth pouring off Ryan's body like Hellfire. It seeped into every inch of his skin, searing his bones. But it was welcome, he could no longer find it in him to push the demon away.

"Ryanimay" Castiel brought one of those talented hands to his lips, brushing a kiss across his knuckles.

"We should have done this sooner" Ryan pointed out, feeling the same pleasure in his veins "I've missed you too much…it hurts to have you so far from me."

"If you would come back…" Castiel offered, feeling it his duty to offer this salvation.

"The deal's on the table, I know" Ryan lapped at the shell of the angel's ear, eyes shut in bliss "Maybe I'll think about it."

Castiel's heart suddenly jumped, turning in the man's arms and coming face to face with him. God, Ryan was still so beautiful…even contained in this Earthly form, those eyes shone with an internal celestial light. Forgetting his place, he took the demon's face in his palms and captured his lips. They parted for him like water, brimstone absent on his tongue and replaced by morning dew.

Sweet and strong, the taste of his Beloved.

"Would you?" Castiel rasped, moist lips still brushing "If you would just consider it…it is all I would ask of you, Ryanimay."

"I know" Ryan's jaw clenched when a look of righteousness came over the angel's features "You are being summoned, aren't you?"

"Uriel calls for me" Castiel's tone was full of regret, reluctantly pushing the warm body away from him "There is a fight I must go to, a small one. But it is my duty."

"Your duty is to _me_!" Ryan pushed hard, pinning the angel upon the cheap linen and covering him with his own body. He straddled his hips, dipping down and nibbling at the base of his neck. His anger faded with the sweet moan that escaped pink lips, realizing what he was saying.

Castiel was asking so little and risking so much for this, to be with him again. If Uriel were to show up, to see them, it would mean death for him and maybe a wing-clip for Castiel. What a selfish thing he was…but then, he had always been a bit petulant. Wanting Castiel by his side all the time, constantly arguing with Uriel and Afriel about who would take a mission with him.

Vanity, greed…sins he left Heaven for.

"I'm sorry" Ryan pulled away, kneeling on the bed and pulling the sheets up around his hips "You should go before Uriel tracks you here. I wouldn't want you to get into trouble, especially not with your _brother_."

Castiel's hand took his cheek again, caressing the tender skin beneath his eye, "I am not abandoning you, know that. What we've done…it can never be undone. I…I care for you, Ryanimay."

"As much as you ever did?" Ryan dropped his eyes focusing on the faint red scratches along the angel's torso.

Castiel smiled, dropping a kiss upon ruffled spiky hair, "As much as ever, if not more. You are so worthy of redemption, of love…how you cannot see that, I'll never know."

"Go, Cass" Ryan gave him a smile, trying to look supportive and passive "You're needed."

Castiel nodded somberly, rolling off the bed in one graceful movement. Stretch of pale arms and legs, a quick smoothing of raven hair, and then those sexy tax accountant clothes were curling around his body like smoke. Castiel didn't seem to notice the bright red mark on the nape of his neck, and the demon wasn't going to be the one that told him it was showing.

Castiel stepped forward, closing his eyes briefly and placing two fingers on his forehead, "At least try to be good in my absence."

Ryan quirked a brow, "Careful, Cass. That was dangerously close to humor."

Castiel's lips twitched, "That would be Uriel's occupation."

And then he was gone, the sound of pure ivory wings echoing loud in his ears.

Ryan lunged at the nightstand, fingers digging into the drawer and scrambling for what he knew would be there. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, something he knew he shouldn't be doing but didn't care. He ripped off the top with his teeth, wincing as the bitter flavor brushed his lips.

Ryan shook one out, throwing the rest down upon the covers. He scooted backward on the tawdry motel bed until his back hit the faux-mahogany headboard. Shaky fingers gripped the cigarette, managing to curl two fingers around it. He struggled with the lighter, yet three times had it lit. He inhaled the flame, the tip of the cigarette glowing red in the faint light.

A demon blink in the shadow.

The acrid smoke filled his lungs, almost making him choke. It reminded him of brimstone, and hell if that didn't make him uncomfortable enough. But his nerves were scattered over a thousand places, and he wasn't even sure how to center himself anymore. As an angel, it took no more than a flicker of his eyes and a rustle of wings…but in this physical body, he wasn't so sure.

So, _smoking_.

Ryan took one heavy drag after another, finishing half in less than a minute. He slowed down once he wasn't sure if he could breath properly, bringing up one knee and settling his hand on it. Smoke poured over his lips with his exhale, reminiscent of a dragon. Ash fell upon the scratchy sheets, searing holes right through it. He couldn't care less, he wasn't paying anything for this room.

He would have to leave soon, before the super wondered what those sounds coming from an supposed empty room were.

Oh, and were there sounds. Ryan hummed, laying his head back on the headboard and letting his eyes flutter shut. If he concentrated, he could still feel the brush of lips and fingertips on his body…how sweet the ache was when Castiel finally entered him…the rustle of wings when Castiel emptied his seed into him…

Now without a lover, the night seemed so ominous and lonely. Ryan shivered against the headboard, tugging the off-white sheet further up his hips. The smoke from the cigarette drew lazy spirals in the air, curling higher and looser until they disappeared all together. His eyes cast a flaxen sheen upon his cheeks, projecting the only light in the room besides that which came in through the window.

Such an Earthly rush put his power at unease, the glowing was only a side effect. It lessened when he half-lowered lids, trapped between wired and exhausted.

It was so cold now without Castiel. Then angel had remembered every trick they had learned together on Earth, and Ryan was jovially surprised to find that he could pull out some new moves on him. The slick-smooth of skin was the same, the clean-water taste of hi mouth, the moans…

Castiel had spoken the Language of the angels in his ear, in his true voice…and Ryan hadn't burned. Of this he was thankful, because _what_ a mood killer that would have been!

Hands on flesh on flesh on mouths…sweat, gasps…skin hot beneath his touch, hot as Hellfire.

Ryan whimpered and forced his mind away from those kinds of thoughts, not Hell…dear Father, anything but Hell…

Now that he finally got what he had wanted, he knew now the price that it came with. Hopeful lapis eyes that pleaded with him to come back to Heaven. Him, _Ryan_…go back to Heaven…_right_. Become a cold-hearted Warrior of God once more? Take up his sword and shield? Go into battles he wasn't sure he'd ever step out of? See his brothers and sisters fall around him? No thanks, Father.

That's why he had left.

He hated only looking down upon his Father's works of art and not being able to intervene. He adored humans, but their choices were so horrible…could they never see the other path? That's why, when he had left, he had chosen to take the powers of a Crossroads demon. Sometimes he helped humans, sometimes he swatted them in the head and told them to quit being so stupid. He only made deals with those most desperate, the ones that really did have no other way to go but to sell their soul.

After all, he used to be an angel…he had a reputation to uphold.

Yet Castiel wanted him back, wanted him by his side. It made his heart flutter at the thought, to go back to the way things were. Then the whole blind Will thing kicked in and he was unsure all over again. Could he really give up his Free Will for a chance to have all of Castiel's love?

It was a vile decision, but that's what he dealt in now: Choices.

" 'I am my Beloved's…and his desire is toward me' " Ryan quoted, stubbing his cigarette out in the mattress "Solomon's Song: 7-10."

Ryan knew he'd always give in for Castiel.

_**TBC**_

_**If they hurt you**_


	19. Chapter 19

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {19-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

Dean stumbled out of the shower, steam following him. He reached out blinding, snatching a towel from the hanger on the wall. He wiped the water from his eyes, running the cloth through his hair in a way that made it stick up every which-way.

Damn, he needed that.

Dean wrapped the towel around his waist, padding across the tile floor. Water dripped in puddles behind him as he made his way to the sink, blinking his eyes against the steam that still clung to him.

The mirror was only fogged around the edges, framing him in it's reflection. He gave himself a half-assed smile, studying his new collection of scars. It seemed that even though his body was fresh when he was given a second chance, he acquired new ones like trading cards to replace them. If he looked close enough, he could even still see the faint outline of some of worst wounds.

Even with them, he was still one hot-lookin' stud.

He smile dropped instantly when his eyes landed on his arm, his bicep. He frowned instead, turning his body just enough to get a good look at the mark.

Castiel's hand print was still there.

It wasn't something he liked to think about much, ever since he had sworn he would deal with all this Hell stuff by himself. The once blood-red handprint had faded to a shiny silver, bright against his tan skin. Almost…beautiful. But it was just another reminder that he had died more times than he really even knew about, that he was weak and had broken in Hell…that he had to be saved by an angel with an ugly coat.

"Dee?" Jensen crept up behind him, circling his arms around his lover's waist.

Dean started in surprise, dark jade eyes going wide in the reflection. Jensen looked tired, but content. A soft-blue hoody drowned his frame…his eyes kind. The actor nuzzled and dropped kisses along his shoulder, worshipping each faint sun spot he found there. That was something Dean loved about their differences, Jensen's freckles were more visible along the bridge of his nose and back.

Dean loved to map each one with the tip of his tongue, and his lover adored it even more.

"Feel better?" Jensen inquired.

"Yeah" Dean lied "I was feelin' a little stiff…it's better, though."

"I could massage you down, help ease the tension" Jensen offered innocently enough, but the brush of fingertips over the curve of his ass wasn't so much so "Take advantage of that big comfy bed we've Christened, we might not have it much longer…"

Jensen trailed off, eyes following the line of his lover's gaze. Emerald eyes landed on the silver mark, awe and curiosity in them as if it was the first time he'd seen it. Jensen's left hand curled over his forearm and skidded up, destination obvious.

"_Don't_" Dean pleaded, though he could barely hear his own voice.

Jensen didn't stop, taking his lover's gaze in their reflections and refusing to let go. He laid his hand over the mark, hand smaller than that of Castiel's. Silver fingertips extended past the actor's morbidly, peeking out beneath his palm. They both sighed out, warmth seeping through palm and scar into an even more intense heat between them.

"Does it hurt?" Jensen asked, pinpricks shooting up his arm.

"No" Dean admitted "Isn't it…? How can you touch it?"

"I haven't paid any attention to it. I wanted to make sure it was healed" the actor admitted "I didn't want to bring it up…the Hell thing."

"Right, _that_" Dean spat, bitterness creeping into his voice "What makes you think I want to talk about it now? What makes you think I _want_ you to touch it?"

Jensen couldn't lie, "Because I don't care if you do anymore."

Emerald eyes fluttered shut, lips dancing up the back of Dean's neck. Dean's breath stuttered in his throat, his lover's mouth kissing and tasting all across his shoulder blades. Jensen kept his hand firm over the mark, fingertips burning. Sparks shot between flesh, eyes darkening and goosebumps cropping up on his skin.

"I could take it away" Jensen whispered, mouthing the tight skin between his shoulder blades.

"How?' Dean's voice was rough, but there was an undertone of hope in his eyes "You're not the one who put it there."

"How much do you want it gone?" Jensen looked over his lover's shoulder, meeting his half-lidded gaze "How much, Dean?"

"I _hate_ it" Dena hissed, tension in his jaw.

"Good boy" Jensen purred, breaking eye contact to press his forehead to the back of a tan neck "Now stay still."

For a full minute, nothing happened. The sparks danced faster between their flesh like a current, like an electric bite…constant and flowing. Dean's eyes stayed on the connection, eyes slowly widening. The silver angel burn started…shimmering…living, breathing…flexing…then it receded. It started to wane back into Jensen's hand, leaving behind simple tan skin in it's place.

It didn't burn, at least…not in the way that would cause pain.

Jensen suddenly exhaled, like a dog who had been kicked too many times. He pulled away as if he had been scalded, stumbling backwards until he hit the wall. He panted lightly, the little strength in his knees gave way and he slid down to the floor. Dean grunted when the mark returned full force, now dark red and still upon his arm.

"Damn it…" Jensen closed his eyes briefly, rubbing his tingling hand off on the scratchy material of his jeans "I just…_Goddamnit!_"

"What the hell did you try to do?" Dean barked, angry and awed all at once "You can't heal!"

"Sorry" Jensen muttered guilty "I thought our connection would be enough. But I'm only human…I can't undo the work of angels."

Jensen slumped completely against the wall, defeated.

Dean gathered and centered himself, shaking off the other-worldly feel of it all. Their souls must have been strongly connected to do such a thing, to _heal_. He had never heard of a human with this kind of power, capable of what he just saw from his very own lover. Jensen looked visibly paler, his pants turned into soft whines…like he was in pain, or some shit akin to it.

Dean took the few short steps to his lover, kneeling down in front of him in just his towel. He took the actor's head between his palms, carding his fingers through soft hair and holding him in place. Eyes wide open, he dropped a kiss into and nuzzled light tresses.

"Jensen" his voice was like gravel, the man shaking in his arms like a newborn kitten. The scent of day-old shampoo and flesh filled his nose, coating his tongue. Jensen trembled at the sound of his voice, making another one of those soft whines. He must have been drained to make those sounds, in real pain…

…from trying to help _him_ with his Goddamn selfish problems.

"Dean, I-I…I didn't…"

"I won't scold you like a child…but God-damn, you know what could have happen if you would've gone through with that " Dean rasped, fingertips digging into the man's skull reflexively "Don't you ever…_ever_…do something so stupid again, you hear me Jensen Ross?"

"Mmmn" Jensen nodded beneath his lover's touch, every muscle in him aching.

Dean stood and left his lover alone in the bathroom, closing the door as he left.

The tears fell silently down Jensen's face, a shaky gasp all he could manage.

There was a soft flutter of wings, "What are you doing to yourself?"

"It wasn't for me" Jensen didn't raise his head, tears itching paths down his cheeks "It was for Dean."

"To try and get rid of my mark…" Castiel sounded exasperated, tired "You aren't capable of something like that, Jensen."

"I could be, if I was stronger willed" the actor murmured beneath his breath, eyes hard as he stared down at the tile "…I'm too soft for him…"

"What?" Castiel sounded so disheartened, it shook him. Jensen looked up, gaping at his guardian angel through reddened eyes.

Castiel stood there in all his angelic glory, coat smeared with blood. Crimson stained his face, his hands, clumping his raven hair. His tie was gone, the collar ripped and sullied as if he had been grabbed. There was a rip down his calf, though in two jagged lines.

"What happened to you?" Jensen gaped dumbly.

"Uriel acquired me in a battle, we saved a seal" Castiel opened his coat, looking down at his vessel idly "This blood is not mine."

"That's reassuring and super-disturbing" Jensen snarked "So the Battle still goes on, huh?"

"This does not change the fact that you tapped into energy you had no business using" Castiel countered, glaring so hard it nearly pierced the human "It is called _life energy_ for a reason."

"That's so close to a joke it burns" Jensen seethed "What's the matter stoic angel? Feeling something?"

Castiel hesitated, "I…am not aloud to feel. I am a tool…tools do not take sides nor feel one way or the other about things. We are here to follow orders, and I am here to guide you. What you did was foolish, but I can not fathom-"

"Bullshit, you emote. You love me and worry for Dean, you have concern for all of us" Jensen's laugh was bitter "What you're feeling now, Cass? It's called exasperation."

"That is not all I _feel_, Jensen Ross" Castiel sat down next to him, huffing like he was human and needed a nap "You have to quit this."

"I'm not even half way done yet."

Castiel really didn't want to think too much about what that meant, he merely slipped his arm around the human and drew him close. Jensen curled against his side, burying his face into an less bloody section of his trench coat. The angel's touch radiated warmth, seeping from his fingertips into Jensen's muscles and chasing the last of the ache away.

Jensen's moan was soft, grateful.

Castiel turned his head, speaking into the human's ear, "We're going to get through all this."

Jensen gave a snort of mock-amusement, "I doubt it."

Castiel made a sound that could have been a groan of frustration, but neither really cared.

_**TBC**_

_**They hurt me too**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell{20-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

The last thing Sam expected was to cornered by Bobby.

It happened in the hallway, Bobby's thick hand shooting out from inside one of the bedrooms. Sam found himself slammed against the wall, fierce dark on glaring at him from beneath his trucker cap.

Sam's brow creased, "Bobby-?"

"Tell me that it's been good, Sam" Bobby demanded "Tell me everyone thinks it's fake."

It took Sam nearly a whole minute and a fierce shake, but he realized what was going on.

"Bobby!" Sam whined "Of course no one thinks _Supernatural _is real! It's about ghosts and shit!"

"Shh!" Bobby shook him again, fist in his collar "Your dad doesn't know, and I'm sure as hell not about to tell 'im. He's not gonna find out if we play this right."

Sam rolled in his eyes, then was struck with a thought, "Why did you corner me about it?"

"Who else can write out of the four of ya?" Bobby drawled, scoffing with an invisible '_ya idiot_' tagged at the end of it "I know you've been writin' for a while, your always clickin' at your laptop."

"Oh" Sam colored "Uh, thanks…so…what do you think?"

Bobby grinned, "I like the father figure best, he's one helluva guy."

Sam rolled his eyes again, "I wouldn't expect any less."

Bobby let him go, stepping away, "But you better watch the youngest Winchester, he's starting to slip."

Sam gaped after Bobby as he walked away, unsure what to say.

()()()

Missouri's back porch was wide, a generous addition to the house. Fenced in by white-washed wood, layered over with polish to make it shine. There was a two-seated swing, hung by silver chains from the ceiling. Potted plants on the railing, flowers along it's outline. Pert blue blooms sprung from the ground, mingling with yellow and pink.

Dean was stretched out over the last three stairs, heels digging into the dirt. A beer hung from his hand, elbows braced on the third step out of five. He watched the scene further down the yard, where Bobby was giving Jensen and Jared a proper gun lesson.

Sam was sitting on the top step, a beer cradled between the palms of his hands. He stared down at it's sweating surface, the dry air of summer starting to creep up around them. June was kind, hopefully it wouldn't be a harsh summer. The West had pretty much killed them with it's raw humidity, and Kansas had the potential to turn.

It was rare that they were alone like this lately, what with two new companions with them. After everything that had been going on, sometimes they forgot they were brothers first. They're bond was just as strong as always, even more stalwart with their soulmates by their sides.

"Dean…" Sam began, hesitancy in his voice "Do you ever…uhm, let Jensen top?"

Dean didn't even tense, nothing seemed to surprise him anymore. He rolled his head back on his shoulders, neck arched all the way. He stared at his brother upside down, hair ruffled like a toddler.

"Why?"

"I dunno" Sam lied, shrugging a little "I mean, we've heard you guys at it…and I've known you all my life…I just thought you didn't top. And Jensen's looked a little rough these past weeks…."

"Yeah, he does when he feels like it" Dean replied easily, lips curling in mild amusement "And you, Sammy? Ever let Jay fuck you?"

Sam colored, "Uhm…at the beginning."

Dean frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Lately, man…I don't know" Sam took a long pull of his beer, trying to put his thoughts into words "I get so much stronger when I'm with him…but it doesn't work the same way when he's…"

Dean clenched his eyes shut for a second, nodding, "Ok, I get it. The…the demon-boost thing doesn't work when he's the one fucking. That's…good, right?"

Sam just hung his head, //No…I feel like I'm submitting, and it drives me up the fuckin' wall.//

Dean sensed his brother's internal thoughts, eyes fluttering open and mouth set in a firm line, "A healthy relationship it does not make when one of the guys only takes. You've already been fucking with him psychologically, I wouldn't mess with him anymore. He's just human, man."

"Maybe not…" Sam mused, getting a dirty look "Never mind."

"You started this God-damn conversation" Dean growled, sitting up straight and nursing his beer "Fine, keep fuckin' with the kid. Let him think you two are in an equal relationship, let him think he's more to you than a damn demon-battery. I don't give a fuck, all I have to do is watch my boy pick up the pieces."

Sam bared his teeth, "You can't just demoralize what's between me and Jared like that!"

"You get off on the power more than you do his ass" Dean stood from the steps, eyes hard "Just fuckin' admit it already, Sam. If Jared wasn't here, you know where you'd be? On your back for Ruby, her blood on your lips. _You_ know it, _I_ know it, and I bet to Hell Cass has told Jensen it too."

Sam fingered the bracelet on his wrist, guilt and need equal weights in him.

_Blood_.

"Don't you hurt him" Dean's eyes softened, but it was for Jared and not his brother "That kid is something nice. I know you, Sammy…and you always break your nice toys."

Dean left him alone there, walking over to where the others were.

Sam kept rubbing at his bracelet like it was his nervous tick, only one thing on his mind.

_Jared's blood_.

()()()

Night fell hard in Kansas, the stars blinked out by thick storm clouds. No…there was not a rumble, not a flash, not a drop of rain. The new moon made an outline in the sky, but only when it could be revealed beneath the wisps.

Jared slept in peace in the guest room, bare beneath the covers. Honey hair spilled across the pillow, left hand curled on his stomach while the other was splayed out. It searched blindly for his lover, fingers twitching against cold sheets. Though he was dreamless, there a was an empty feeling in his chest.

His lover was not as far as he thought.

Sam stood near the window, staring out into the dark night. He worked possibilities over and over in his mind, trying to settle on one. He was tore up on the inside, for each answer he settled on tortured him just a little bit more. Ruby's blood and body had started his power, awoken it and made it grow. And since he quit her, he was aching for a new fix. Rolling with Jared _did_ make him stronger, he could feel it deep inside him. He could throw demons, rip them from their hosts…

But he couldn't kill yet.

Sam's fingers tightened around his knife, jaw clenched.

Sam turned from the window, taking a few steps toward the bed. His lover looked so beautiful lying there, nude as the hunter was fully dressed. Even in the dimmest of light, his skin seemed to put out its own luminous aura. He could make out every line, every curve of the body he had come to know so well.

Sam knelt down beside the bed, free hand creeping across the coverlet and curling around Jared's wrist. Their bracelets touched for just a moment, a soft ting sounding. The actor hummed, eyelashes fluttering and lips parting.

He didn't awake though, and that was what mattered.

Sam pulled the actor's arm closer to him, fascinated by the ripples that were left behind as flesh skidded over sheet. He pressed their palms together, careful fingers curling around his wrist. The long, smooth flesh of his forearm was exposed in the light…pale in comparison to the rest of him.

He didn't want to do this, he really didn't.

Sam rose on his knees a bit, trailing three light kisses over the vulnerable skin. He whispered a soft '_I love you_' each time, branding the flesh with his intent.

Sam sat back on his heels, bringing his knife up.

//Just a small slice// the hunter cautioned himself, a large part of him against this //A little cut…just two inches, if not less. Firm, constant pressure. Don't hurt him…it'll just be a knick.//

Sam pressed the tip into his lover's skin, eyes flashing darkly.

"I would not do that…if I were you."

Sam swallowed down his bellow of surprise and anger at being disrupted, turning. He put one knee flat on the floor to brace himself, the other still bent in a crouch. His eyes were pitch now, roving around the room for the source of the voice.

It wasn't hard to find, Castiel was never one for subtly. He stood there by the window, a side profile against the glass. His hands were deep in his pockets, eyes narrowed at the wall in that ever-thoughtful way. He cocked his head to the side, as if curious.

"Did you think you would really get away with this?" Castiel inquired, voice low so as not to disturb Jared from his sleep "Did you not think someone would interfere?"

Sam's eyes hardened, "It's not like I'm doing something wrong…I'm not going to kill him. I love him, I would never hurt him."

"You think this won't hurt him?" Castiel turned his head just enough, giving the hunter a look of disgust "How will he feel when he wakes up with that cut on his arm?"

Sam was almost panting with his need, knuckles bone-white with his grip on the knife, "It's just this once, Castiel…I need it."

"It will not end with just this once" Castiel's expression was one of understanding, close to sympathy "First…he'll wake up to a cut on his arm…then two…then one on his thigh, his calves. He'll start to think he's being attacked, he'll panic and be afraid to sleep at night. One night, you'll be intimate and…you may get the urge to bite down on his neck just a bit too hard, drawing blood. You'll get a taste when you're lost and won't have control anymore."

Sam knew everything the angel said was true, and it hurt him as the scenes played out in his mind.

"How long will it take until he realizes what he does for you?" Castiel turned toward the hunter completely, still soft-voiced "He's a smart boy. He'll see you're getting stronger and wonder why. He'll pair that with his blood loss and realize it's him…he's the one that helps blacken your soul."

Sam shook his head weakly, "I'm not-"

"I cannot control what you do to yourself" the angel turned fierce, feet braced and hands clenching into fists "But I promise you this…if you take even one drop of Jared's blood without his consent, it will burn you through from the inside out."

Sam wanted to ask, wanted to know exactly what his lover was. But angels were not one to give anything away before it's due, and the tilt of Castiel's head told him all he needed to know.

The knife dropped to the floor with a clatter, unused.

"Good boy" Castiel's lips twitched in an almost smile, but it didn't reach his eyes "Be with Jared now, even in his sleep he craves your touch."

The angel's body flickered out with a pass of cloud over the slit of moon, the sound of bird wings bouncing off the walls.

Sam sat there for minutes, eyes closed and hands limp at his sides. He didn't know what to do with himself…if what Castiel said was true…

He knew it was, angels didn't lie. At least…not Castiel. There was still a faint ache for blood in his chest, but it wasn't strong enough to overpower his need to be close to Jared.

Sam rose to his feet, eyes still closed as he began to strip his day clothes. Jeans were kicked in a heap towards the wall, his plaid button-down soon following it. He sat down on the edge of the bed, hooking his thumbs in the elastic of his boxers and yanked them down…tossing them with his jeans. He slipped beneath the covers, maneuvering until he was stretched out along the actor's side.

"Sam" Jared murmured, smiling a little when a solid palm skidded up his stomach. He mewled into the touch, squirming closer to the warmth.

"Go back to sleep, Jay" Sam dropped a kiss in honey hair, tucking the slighter man's head beneath his chin.

"Love you , Sammy" warmth breath washed over the hunter's collar bone, making him shiver "…more than anything…only you…"

Out of all the God-damn things he could have said, it had to be _that_.

Sam closed his eyes, guilt clawing at his heart, "Love you too, Jay."

_**TBC**_

_**So we'll rise up**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {21-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

Jared leaned back on his hands, tilting his face up to the sky and letting the sun warm his cheeks. His long legs were stretched out, a sigh of content heaving his chest.

Jensen's own compact body was spread out at his side, and from the easy rise and fall of his chest he was probably dozing by now.

They had decided hours ago that they were just going to spend the day together. They had spent all their time in the backyard, exchanging Big Texas Sky stories and sibling envies. The bond between them pulsed hot and strong, much different than what they had with their lovers. Less about passion and need and love, more about ease and playfulness.

The wind picked up, carrying a cloud across the sun.

Jared whined low in his throat, cracking open an eye to find a patch of cloud centering itself above them. The entire backyard was cast in shadow, going from technicolor to soft grey.

He almost choked on the sudden tension in the air, the wind turning a degree colder in what was once humid air. Those primal, hunter instincts kicked in fast. Jared rolled to his knees, palms braced on the ground as he as he looked about.

The brush near the trees parted almost by itself, a mighty force pulling at his heart. Some sort of creature was revealed, striding confidently out from the cover of the shadow. At first Jared thought it was a large cat, just as big as a tiger with thick ivory fur coating it's substantial body. A closer look had his heart skipping in fear, knowing right then it was a monster.

It had a long, curling tail covered in scales…it was a snake, flicking and hissing. It's face was the horrid hybrid of a goat and a lion, it's jowls dropped open to reveal violet-tinted fangs. The only markings on it's skin consisted of an ebony ring about its neck and along it's stalwart paws. Horns protruded from it's forehead, curled and thick like a rams.

Jensen awoke with a cough beside him, sensing the danger. The older actor eased onto his knees, all sleep disappearing from his mind as he studied the beast with a half-curious air. The monster stopped a few yards away, cocking its head to the side and pawing at the ground lightly. Its tail whipped behind it, as if eager.

Jared almost whimpered, "Jen, that's a breed of Chimera. I've read about them, they come in different styles."

Jensen's brow creased, "What?"

"Technically, a Chimera is from Greek mythology. It's supposed to be a female fire-breathing monster…it's also supposed to have a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail. But they've evolved and branched into species…taking and leaving traits…it's supposed to mean "she-goat", that's where the name stems."

"Does that look like a fuckin' goat?" Jensen hissed.

"Uh, no" Jared swallowed thickly "That looks likes an imaginary monster whose body is a nasty combination of mismatched parts."

"Do you memorize the damn supernatural dictionary?" Jensen forgot what was going on for a second, giving the younger man the strangest look "Because I was _raised_ on this stuff, and I didn't know that."

Jared could only shrug, it wasn't his fault he got bored in those long car rides.

"Be useful, Jay…" Jensen stated gruffly "Any way to kill it?"

The younger man shook his head, "It's hide it said to be too thick for normal weapons."

"Jared…" Jensen spoke softly, putting a hand on the younger's man's arm and bringing them to their feet "I want you to get to the car…grab a flask of holy water and my guns. There's a book in the very back…it's small with a worn brown cover. I think the demon-repellant spell is in it…grab that too."

Jared nodded reluctantly, "What are _you_ gonna do?"

Jensen's breath was calm, lips quirking, "I'm going to distract it when it comes after you."

Nile green eyes went wide in shock, "You can't-!"

"Shh" Jensen huffed roughly, looking and sounding more like Dean than he ever had before "I've got my knife and my tazer, it'll be enough."

Jared reached out and squeezed his best friend's arm, casting a hopeful look at the back door. He almost wanted to scream and run and _freak out_, but he knew the Chimera would charge. That thing could rip them apart in seconds, and the poison in those fangs looked dangerous.

"Go" Jensen muttered under his breath, maneuvering himself in front of the taller man "Go now."

Jared nodded, backing away slowly, "Good luck, Jense."

"Chimera, huh?" Jensen raised his voice, cocky façade in full swing. He puffed out his chest and made himself look as large as possible, keeping direct contact with those large golden orbs. "Aren't you 'sposed to have dragon wings or something?"

The Chimera advanced slowly, one heavy paw dropping in front of the other.

Now Jensen had it's full attention.

"C'mere, kitty-puss" Jensen clicked his tongue, holding out his hands and rubbing his fingers like it was a kitten. He made a cat sound, meowing the way his sister used to do to call the cats out from the barn.

The Chimera tossed its head, as if asserting dominance.

"Alpha-male, huh?" Jensen tisked, knowing the monster could understand every word he said from the look in it's eyes "My boyfriend is ten times more alpha than you, and I get to _fuck_ him."

Jensen didn't expect that a few words and a mocking gesture would piss off a Big-Bad Chimera, but he was proven wrong when the creature changed. Jensen only had enough time to brace his feet and extend his arms, fists catching the brunt of the blow.

Jensen grunted, heels digging an inch into the dirt as he managed to stop himself from being impaled and thrown. The Chimera was a strong thing, but even it was thrown off kilter when someone seized it's horns and swayed it side to side. Jensen could vividly recall the farm hands doing this with bulls on the ranch, back when the Ackles still owned livestock.

Just throw off their main center of balance, jerk its head, don't let it get too much ground.

But Jensen was fighting a losing battle. The Chimera had muscle and mass on him, even with his growing build (from training to be Dean and hunting these past months.) The Chimera pushed on, tail lashing furiously in the air. Jensen felt the dirt give way beneath the arches of his feet, slowly but surely being pushed back. He tried to gain his own leverage, but the earth was too soft and this monster was way too freaking strong.

"Fuck!" Jensen was lifted off his feet for a moment, back hitting a tree. The bark bit through his t-shirt, those tightly curled horns slammed into his abdomen. Copper filled his mouth, the taste of his own blood making him ill. The Chimera growled, head ducked as it slowly crushed his ribs with pure pressure alone. He sputtered breathlessly, one hand falling from the monster's horn to his hips. Numbs fingers clawed at his belt, soon curling around a solid bulk.

A buzz filled the air right before Jensen brought his tazer down upon the beast's head.

The Chimera reared back, letting out its strange bellow and shaking itself like a dog. Jensen dropped to the ground, panting a bit but relatively fine. Unfortunately the Chimera recovered quickly, saffron eyes turning on him. Jensen deemed his beloved weapon useless, shoving it back into it's sheath and cursing the beast for being immune to it. The Chimera charged him again, but it was easily dodged and slammed into the tree headfirst.

"Silly kitty" Jensen teased, fear nearly breaking his masquerade.

If it wasn't for the basic hunter instincts that seemed to come out the more he was around the Winchesters, Jensen would have been dead. The Chimera's snake tail went wild, striking at him with a low hiss. Jensen ducked, hand doing to his boot. Without a seconds hesitation, he pulled the knife from it's hidden sheath and flipped it in his grip. He put all his weight in his heels, rocking back and holding the knife in the defensive position Dean taught him.

The snake glared at him with red eyes, jaw extending to reveal it's ivory fangs. It lunged, Jensen slashed…it swerved at his head, he ducked and nicked its neck. The stupid thing only writhed it's endless body, shaking it's head with a quick jerk before lashing at him once more. Jensen had had enough, ducking low under it's strike and lunging up with aim.

The Chimera let out a howl, scaled length falling limply in the grass and the stub of it's tail bleeding.

"Shit" Jensen cursed, nearly stumbling to get away in time. The beast thrashed, throwing itself against the tree in its pain. It hissed and rumbled, pushing until the maple fell over and into its brethren.

"Jensen!"

Jensen turned in time to see his best friend coming around the corner. He slipped his knife back into his boot and sprinted forward in one movement, heart pounding rapidly in his chest. He accepted his handgun, checking the barrel to find it full.

"Check the book, find the spell" Jensen all but growled, pressing the butt of his weapon into his palm and clicking it into place "Don't fumble over the words. It's Latin, so-"

"I can do it" Jared cut him off, indignant.

"Yeah" Jensen rolled his eyes, the Chimera roaring again "Just do it fast and do it right. I'll give ya a few minutes, but I can't promise much more."

Leaving Jared to his task, Jensen jogged back to the Chimera.

The beast pulled itself away from the wreckage of the tree, saffron eyes tinted crimson now. Its thick hind legs were slicked and matted with its own blood, the stump of it's tail limp. It turned on the human, bearing it's teeth.

Jensen aimed and squeezed, watching in horror as his bullet half buried itself in the Chimera's skin. The beast shook his leg, dislodging the metal like it was a beetle. Jensen ducked and rolled when it charged, raising his gun and putting two more rounds into its shoulder blades. Jared began to read from the book, a Latin echo over them. The monster jerked and shook itself, looking up at the source. Jensen shifted his hold on the gun, changing the angle and lining up the shot.

The Chimera roared when the bullet lodged into its ear, hitting one of the few vulnerable spots.

Jared's voice grew louder with power, words flowing effortlessly. Those quiet evenings off with Sam over all those Latin books had really paid off. The younger actor cast Holy water upon the ground, blessing it. The Chimera threw its head back and roared, nothing short of pure poison seeping from its fangs. It hesitated only a moment, then took off towards the trees.

The brush closed behind it, sealing it away.

Jensen sighed in relief, clicking the safety back on his gun. Jared huffed and fell to his knees, book and flask falling from his limp hands and thudding upon the grass. He tried to calm his heart down, rubbing the section of his shirt over the furiously pumping organ in an effort to sooth it.

"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"

Jensen's brow creased, turning toward the porch.

Bobby, John, and Dean were all standing there…Dean and Bobby were cheering and whooping like morons for them.

John's lips quirked, a brow raised.

Jensen flashed him a cocky grin, refusing to give a thought to his achy ribs, "Don't mess with Hollywood, man. We'll fuck you up!"

The approval in John's eyes just made him light up.

Jared couldn't give a fuck less, stretching out on the grass and huffing in annoyance, "Fuckin' Chimera…fuckin' monsters…"

_**TBC**_

_**Won't stop**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {22-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

"I've got to head out" John announced the next day, map spread out before him "I've got a lead up towards Michigan, a deal went down that reeks of Azazel."

Jensen perked up, "Do you need some back-up?"

"I've got it, Hollywood" John's jab was in jest "You'd only slow me down."

Sam made a mocking face out of his dad's line of vision, the actor struggled to choke down a laugh.

"You can't face him by yourself" Dean pointed out, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed "You should take The Colt."

Sam choked on his panic, nearly yelling as he spoke, "And you know as soon as he leaves with it, Azazel or Lilith will show up!"

"That's not funny, Sam" Dean growled out, eyes flashing darkly at the name.

Sam returned the glare, matching his brother's intensity, "I wasn't trying to be."

"Now boys, this isn't the time" John drawled, fingers steepled in front of him "You have to keep The Colt with you at all times. You need it to protect these…seal things. From what you tell me, that Lilith bitch is bound and determined to destroy every last one of them. Dean, you wouldn't want Lucifer to rise just because you feel like being a mother-hen, would you?"

"Well, well" Dean's smile was bitter, voice gruff "Aren't we all just a barrel full of laughs today?"

"You let me take care of hunting down Azazel" John stated firmly "Sam, Dean…you two are only to concentrate on not getting these boys killed, keeping the seals safe when told, and not getting eaten by Lilith or her hounds…again. In that order, ok?"

A mutter of 'yes, sir's came from the Winchester boys.

"Compared to Lilith…" Jared spoke softly, considering his words carefully as he fingered the rim of his tea cup "Azazel seems like small potatoes in the vegetable patch."

"What a quaint little Texan analogy" Sam turned on him, just as fake as his brother's "Unfortunately, those small potatoes killed my mother and infected me with demon blood!"

"You think I don't care about that? You think I can't feel I in you?" Jared steeled his voice, every muscle strung tight as he kept his eyes locked with the hunter's "I'm not saying he's unimportant, Sam. Yes, he's after you to make you his follower or bitch or whatever…I get that, man. I'm just saying we should look at the bigger picture. Because of Jen and I, you've lost that image."

"It's true" Jen spoke up, though he loathed to draw wrath "We've been a bit of a distraction."

Dean pushed away from the wall, striding up behind his lover. He cupped a hand beneath his chin, tilting his head up until their eyes met.

"We're following Cass's orders, aren't we?" Dean lowered his voice, not letting the actor pull away "We're keeping you with us, fighting the good fight. Let's concentrate on Xander right now. When we're done with him, we'll start back on the seals. It's too dangerous to go at it with you two…alright?"

"Oh" Jensen sighed breathily, lips twitching "Since when have you gotten your head on straight?"

"Since I met you, _peanut_" Dean teased with a goody smile, tickling the slighter man beneath the chin. Jensen giggled ridiculously and jerked away, face bright red with embarrassment.

"Don't call me peanut" Jensen threatened, turning and narrowing his eyes at the hunter "Or I'll slap a dog collar on you so fast…"

Dean just kept grinning, "Now _that's_ kinky."

Bobby gave them a indescribable look, "You boys are fuckin' weird."

Sam and Jared shared a look, silently forgiving each other.

"I'll head out in the morning, Missouri" John declared, the woman had appeared at the doorway "You've been good to us."

"Stay as long as you want, Winchesters" Missouri swept her gaze about, indicating she meant them all "There's always an open door for you. The company is always a pleasure."

"We've imposed on your for too long" John held up a palm, smiling as warmly as he could for a man from the military. He turned to his oldest son, pointedly ignoring the glare he was getting from his youngest. Sam knew what he was about to say and didn't like it…but tough shit.

"You boys should head out, too" John insisted, the look in the other man's jade eyes relayed that he knew the those words actually meant '_leave tomorrow_' instead of sometime later "Face that high level incubus head on, kill it now while no one's seriously hurt."

"I'll go see if Castiel has any idea where he may be" Jensen pushed away from the table, rising to his feet gracefully "It's about time we stop running from the son-of-a-bitch."

Once he left room, Bobby spoke up, "Castiel? You mean that wicked-ass thing that knocked me out? The Angel of Thursday?"

"Yeah" Dean snorted out a laugh, replacing his lover in the seat "He's Jen's guardian angel. Comes to him like a puppy when he calls."

John raised a brow, "They're close?"

"As close as anything, closer maybe" Dean shrugged, trying to ignore the jealousy that ripped through his gut "Cass has been watching over him since he was a kid, raising him when his parents were too busy to care. Jen…Jen adores the guy."

Bobby cringed when a thought hit him like a freight train, "Jensen's not going to Hell, is he? A sweet kid like that?"

"What?" Dean snapped, turning to his uncle figure.

"You know…" Bobby gestured vaguely "For fucking an angel? It's got be against the Divine Rules or something, right?"

Dean was floored, but only for a moment. Thank God, because that moment gave Jared enough time to spring from his chair like a jungle cat. Dean rose from his chair, crossing past his father to Bobby. He seized a fistful of his flannel shirt, bringing back his fist.

"Dean, _no_!" Jared caught the crook of Dean's elbow with his own, his other arm trying to wrap across his broad chest. He pulled him back with every bit of strength he had, teeth grit.

"You bastard" Dean hissed, struggling.

"He didn't mean a Goddamn thing by it and you know it, Dean!" Jared barked, trying to calm the older man down "He just doesn't understand! Calm down!"

Dean snapped out of it, the green/red haze fading from his vision. He saw Bobby's frightened look, the confused brow-crease of his father, the shock on his little brother's face. He dropped his fist, the skin exposed to Jared's touch tingling. He stepped away, centering himself on his own.

"They're not fucking" Dean spat, still bitter "They're just close."

Dean left the room, he needed a fuckin' beer.

()()()

"Castiel?" Jensen stood in the backyard, squinting up at the bright midday sky "Can you talk?"

"Always, Jensen Ross."

Jensen jumped, as he did every time Castiel did his magical poof. He turned to find the angel standing beside him, looking a little worn but not worse for wear. He gave him a full-on smile, receiving a quirk of the mouth.

"I almost didn't think you'd come" Jensen stated sadly, smile never faltering "I thought you'd still be mad."

"I can never stay mad at you for long, it is not in my nature. You were…" Castiel tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes in that every-thoughtful way of his "…confused, overwhelmed. I understand."

"I wouldn't have gone through with it…the whole bathtub thing."

Castiel's lips actually _did_ turn up this time at the soft confession, "You tell me nothing I do not already know."

"Right" Jensen chuckled, ridiculously relieved "We're leaving this place tomorrow."

Concern bloomed in those intense cerulean eyes, "I see…do you know where you're headed?"

"I was hoping _you_ could tell _me_" the actor stated "Is there some kind of hint to where Xander is? A tell? A trail we can follow?"

Castiel's eyes widened fractionally, "You wish to seek him out?"

"We're done running. We're going to go after him."

Castiel hummed thoughtfully, a crease of worry on his brow.

"What?"

"To seek him out…" Castiel's tongue darted over his lower lip, a human gesture of uncertainty "It would not be wise."

"We'll be fine" the actor waved off the concern, confident "If you know where he is, tell me. We'll go out and kill the son of a bitch."

"Jensen-"

"He touched Dean" Jensen clenched his fists, his chest heaving with an angry breath "He lured him into a dark ally with _my_ face, would have had him right there. He nearly raped Jared, and would have if he hadn't called out to you. He's been watching us all since we were children…this has to stop, Castiel."

"Of course, you have proven yourself more than capable" Castiel nodded, looking more at ease in the face of his charge's determination "I have sensed him in a town not far from here, he seemed to be hovering close by in case an opportunity arises. I've been keeping him at bay, but things have been chaotic."

"Wars are being fought on other planes, I get it" the actor assured him "You have your orders…I'd be kinda disappointed if you didn't follow them."

"You are forgiving, my little one" Castiel smiled easily, stepping close enough to cup the young man's shoulder "Most would be resentful…bitter, even. I've watched over you your entire life, and I've been so selfish lately…"

Jensen saw past his angel's façade, spotting something akin to guilt in those eternal eyes, "Has something happened?"

"No, no…of course not" Castiel jerked his head as if to dislodge his thoughts, drawing back his hand. He shut his eyes for a moment, regaining his angelic composure. He straightened, eyes calm when they fluttered open again.

"Cass…"

"I'm going to be watching you very closely, Jensen" Castiel stated, no room for compromise in his voice "I'm going to know the moment he comes into your presence. When you meet him and he proves too much, stall until I come for you."

Jensen made a sour face, "Dean isn't' going to like that."

Castiel tilted his head, a mix of stone-seriousness and conceit in his voice, "Well, Dean doesn't have to know about it, now does he?"

_**TBC**_

_**And it's all about…it's all about**_


	23. Chapter 23

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {23-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

Missouri stood at the doorway, observing the scene in her front yard. John was loudly repacking all his weapons into the back of his truck. The silver container there packed full with stakes and silver, rock salt and Holy water, guns and knives.

Dean was mirroring the motions in the trunk of the Impala, taking the refills Missouri had supplied them with. The morning light was still a pale yellow on them, but it was refreshing. Sam lugged all their duffle bags at once, two looped over his arms ad two on his shoulders.

Jensen was beneath the hood of the Impala, checking the oil one last time. He was bound and determined not to be stranded out in the middle of nowhere again, so he double-checked everything after Dean triple-checked it first. Bobby was doing the same check up on John's truck, grunting and fiddling with the engine that John had somehow flooded.

Jared yawned and shuffled and mewled, appearing from around the house with his dark sunglasses on his face and his heard pulled up over his hair. He trudged over to Missouri, wrapping his arms around her and all but collapsing into a hug. She laughed warmly, encasing him in a firm embrace.

"Goodbye, baby."

"Bye, Missouri" Jared murmured, nuzzling into her shoulder.

"Now sweetheart, you listen to me" Missouri whispered low in his ear, branding his skin with her urgency "Though the road you travel may grow long and wind, and you see no end in sight…though your heart may grow weary, still must you follow it. Do what you know you must, may it be wrong or right."

Jared stumbled away, peering at her curiously. Her face was set in love, so he locked the words away and nodded obediently.

"Time for me to go too, boys" Bobby approached the Impala, slapping his palms together "Come on, you little shits!"

Dean ducked his head to hide his smile, but stepped forward and took his embrace and a manly backslaps. Sam's smile was more fond, taking his hug with a single slap and a muttered goodbye and promises of control. Jared tried to get by with just a slap to the man's back, but got a full arm over his shoulders and an affectionate squeeze.

"See ya, Bobby" Jensen wiped his hands off on his jeans, wiggling his nose when his glasses slipped "It's been fun. You sure know your way around a gun, and _damn_ you're smart!"

Bobby laughed right in his face, extending his arms, "Come 'ere, you little kiss ass!"

Jensen yelped as he was taken in a ardent bear hug, lifted right off his feet and half onto the burley man. He coughed, all his breath leaving him in a wheezy whoop. He smiled brightly, glasses almost falling right off his face with the power of it.

"Yer a good kid" Bobby drawled, dropping the actor and digging his knuckles into the light crop of hair on top of his head "Keep being good, boy."

"I'll try" Jensen panted slightly, rubbing at his aching chest "You be good too, Bobby."

Bobby laughed in his face again, heading over to his truck.

"Boys" John came over, wiping the gun oil from his hands with a rag before shoving it into his back pocket.

"Dad" Sam's voice was cool, but he made no move to step forward. Dean did though, receiving a quick hug and a back slap from his father. Jared called a quick goodbye, slipping into the backseat to nurse off the coffee that was waiting there.

Jensen opened the passenger door, fixing his glasses on his face.

"Jensen."

Jensen froze, gaze snapping up to meet John's face. The older man gestured him closer with a wave of his hand, a sober look on his face. The actor glanced anxiously at his lover, who was looking a little surprised himself. John cleared his throat pointedly, causing the younger man to jump and stride toward him.

He stood before John Winchester, nerves jumped. They had a stare off, letting the tension simmer between them. Dean twitched nervously, shuffling his feet. Anything could go wrong here, even with the tentative relationship they had built up between them.

"Sam and Jared will have their hands full of each other, they're both brats that keep their noses to their laptops and their books" John stated gruffly, ignoring the way his youngest flinched "You know what that means, Hollywood?"Jensen was damn near afraid to breath, "Uh, no?"

John's hand came up, too fast to be anything but a hit. Jensen hissed in a breath through his teeth, clenching his eyes shut and bracing himself for impact.

They all seemed to breath a sigh of relief when John merely cupped the side of Jensen's head, cradling nearly half his face in his wide palm. Bright emerald eyes blinked open at him, innocent and confused. John's lips curled in that Winchester grin, gripping light brunette tresses and shaking him like a kitten.

"Means you have to take care of Dean, keep his dumb ass out of trouble" John spoke lowly, voice like whiskey being poured into a shot glass at a dive bar "Watch him while I can't, ok?"

"Yeah" Jensen fought off the warm blush that seeped into his cheeks "I'll try, John."

"Good" John raised his voice, giving the boy a firm smack on the arm "Now get the hell out of the, the four of you. The angel said Xander was hanging around the Smoky Hills, right? That's a few days drive from here. Got a spare tire and gas money, boy?"

_Be safe, son…be careful._

"Yeah, we're good."

_I love you too, Dad_

"Mount up!" John called, making his way back to his truck.

"What was that about?" Jared whispered to Sam from behind the window, the glass rolled down just enough for him to peek over.

Sam shrugged, "Hell if I know."

Dean walked up behind his lover, placing a hand on his hip and leaning into his ear, "I think he likes you, Jen."

Jensen squirmed back against the hunter playfully, "He gets it from you."

()()()

**~Next Day~**

Jared fiddled between his and his lover's duffels, trying to determine who's hoodies were who's. He was pretty sure the dark crimson one he wore wasn't his, but he didn't care. Jensen had taken the car to the nearest library, he wanted to do some independent non-supernatural reading. Sam was out talking to the super of the motel about their wireless connection, it was down at the moment he couldn't leave well-enough alone.

Jared shifted his shoulders a little, a faint ache settled between his shoulder blades. It kind of itched, but mostly twinged.

Dean _had_ been dozing, but he shot up suddenly…wide awake.

"God, I'm hungry" he grumbled, standing up and stretching his tired muscles "You hungry? Jen still gone?"

"Yes and yes" Jared nodded, now looking for his watch in Sam's duffel "Where are we going?"

Dean shrugged, "A diner?"

Jared gave a pout, "For once, can't I choose?"

Dean scoffed lightheartedly, "Why?"

Jared sighed dramatically, "I bet you let all your old girlfriends choose where to eat."

Dean laughed right out loud at the jab, knowing it was said in nothing less than humor. Jared kept up his pouting, crossing his arms to complete the look of absolute petulance. The hunter rolled his eyes, but kept playing the game. He eased up behind the younger man, wrapping his arms around his waist and nuzzling his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, baby" Dean put on an overly exaggerated seductive voice, swaying them gently "Where would you like to go?"

"Oh stop it!" Jared giggled girlishly, taking in that ridiculous Staten Island accent he had used to tease Jensen "Yer makin' me blush, Dean!"

"No, really" Dean replied earnestly "Where ever you wanna go, we'll go."

"Take me to that Olive Garden" that accent was absurd on Jared's lips "Oh Dean, yer bein' frisky! Are you gonna pop the question or what?"

"Let's see how tonight goes" Dean had to keep his own laughter down, he was afraid he'd never be able to stop if he started "Cause I'm gonna pop something."

"Ach! Dean!" Jared shoved at him, turning and giving him a look of mock-disgust "What kinda gurl do a take me for?"

"The easy kind" Dean squeezed him lightly "Now let's go get something hot in you, huh? Then we'll have some _real_ dessert."

"Ya animal!" Jared screeched, though he was starting to laugh. Dean got an idea, fingers assaulting the younger man insistently. He ticked him mercilessly, getting three year old squeals for his effort. Jared writhed and bucked against him, fighting to get away. Dean's laughter joined in, and neither were very quiet with their loud mouths.

"Say mercy!" Dean shouted over the other's laughter, now back-to-chest "Say you give up! Say you'll stop whining over diner food!"

"Never!" Jared called valiantly, tears of mirth building up in his eyes. He bent in half, trying desperately to get away from those tickling hands of terror.

()

Sam approached the door of their motel, sighing and pouting about the internet connection (or lack thereof.) Laugher reached his ears, so unexpected in the late evening. They had settled down pretty early today, the dread of the upcoming confrontation forcing them to drag their feet to Smokey Hills. Anyways, the laughter was carefree and clear. It sounded like Jared…but was that Dean too?

Sam opened the door, a curious knit in his brow. His expression smoothed over and hardened in seconds, lips pressed into a thin line.

Jared was in his brother's arms…wrapped around his waist, Dean's fingers digging into his stomach and waist. Jared's laughter was more breathy now, leaning fully back into Dean like he was the only force keeping him up. They were pressed impossibly close, chest to back and grinning like anything.

"Hey Sammy" Dean was still laughing, fingers stilling in there attack on the actor "No internet, then?"

Jared saw the warning signs a second too late, "Sam…?"

Jared found himself thrown down upon the floor, away from Dean and out of harm's way. Sam picked his brother up easily with his power, hand raised and eyes bleeding black. Dean coughed and sputtered, being picked up by his neck and slammed into the wall.

Jade eyes went wide in fear and shock, the muscles of his neck clamped down by an invisible, icy hand. Sam advanced swiftly, teeth bared like a dog and nearly growling like one. Dean thrashed, clawing at the wall for purchase against the presence.

"S-Sammy!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Sam's voice was low, dangerous "You don't touch him, Dean. You've always had everyone…but I claimed Jared first. He's _mine_. You don't get to touch him!"

"Sam!" Jared rushed at the youngest Winchester, grabbing at his arm and pulling roughly "Quit it! We weren't doing anything, stop being a prick!"

Dean was starting to see spots, "Sam…listen to…"

"Sammy" Jared was pleading now, fingers twisting in his lover's shirt as he tried to physically pull him away from Dean. Sam didn't give an inch, sick satisfaction flowing through him as he watched his big brother's eyes glaze over. Under his power…for once, Samuel Winchester was running the show.

"You're killing him" Jared plastered himself along the back of his lover, nuzzling the base of his neck in an act of desperation "I'm yours, Sam…you know I am. Stop…for me? If nothing else, Sammy, do it for me."

Sam came back to himself in seconds, Dean collapsing on the floor when the pressure disappeared. He coughed, chest heaving to try and get back all the oxygen that had been ripped from his lungs. He kept his eye clenched shut, trying to put it all into reason.

Sam turned in his lover's arms, guilt in his eyes, "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, Jay…I just thought…I thought he was forcing you or something."

"I can take care of myself" Jared tried to tell himself his fingers trembled in adrenaline and not from his lover's presence "But…you need to calm down, Sam. You just attacked your _brother_…are you ok?"

"I'm fine" Sam looked over his shoulder, dark jade eyes cracking open "Sorry, Dean. You ok?"

Dean made a rough noise, "Peachy, bitch."

Sam turned back to the actor, "See? He's fine."

//You really are turning into a monster, Sammy.//

Jared looked like someone had kicked his puppy, and this pained the hunter. Sam cupped his face, smiling warmly before dropping a kiss on his lips. Jared wanted to pull away and scream, to kick and throw a fit. He wanted to beg Sam to quit using his power, to stop slipping into darkness. He wanted his bright, beautiful Sammy back…

"I'll go get us something to eat, ok?" Sam was still smiling, brushing kisses over the slighter man's jaw "There's a diner up the street…I'll just walk."

Sam gave them both one last look, then left the room. As soon as the door closed shut, a lone tear burned down Jared's face. He huffed and wiped it away with the palm of his hand, trying to hide it.

"Don't cry, Jay."

"I'm sorry, Dean" Jared couldn't look the man in the eyes, he was ashamed "I can't control him, I can't fix him…I can't balance him like I'm supposed to."

Dean couldn't think of a comforting thing to say, so he settled for rubbing at his neck.

Jared groaned in defeat, "I'm just so fuckin' sorry, Dean!"

Dean shut his eyes, "I know."

Jared managed to center himself, "What are we going to do now?""The only thing we can do" the older man replied, managing to get to his feet "Forget it."

Jared whirled on him, "What?"

"If we make a big deal out of this, Sam is just going to push harder" Dean tried to keep a level head, pointedly not thinking about that his brother was about to kill him "We won't tell Jensen…we won't mention it again. If he's going to slip, it's not going to be my fault."

Jared nodded, not one to disobey a rule like that

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (all about us)**_


	24. Chapter 24

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {24-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**~Next Night~**

_It hurts_…_God, save me_…

Jared awoke with a start, eyes wide in fear. He thrashed and jerked off the covers, a strangled whimper ripping itself from his lips. He could feel phantom hands on him, around his ankles and up his legs. He nearly rolled onto the floor, scrambling to his feet.

It took him nearly five minutes of rubbing at his arms and shoulders before he could calm himself down. He realized he wasn't being attacked, he wasn't being grabbed. In fact, Jared found himself as safe as he could ever be. He was in the motel room Dean had rented for them, the desk lamp in the corner clicked on just soft enough to cast a glow. The windows and doorway were salt lined, and all four were in the room.

Dean and Jensen were by the bed closest to the door, fast asleep. Jensen was tucked under the hunter's chin, blankets pulled up high against the chill that the shitty thermostat let in. Dean's snores were kind of rough, but they looked peaceful enough.

Sam was in their own bed, spread out on his back like a starfish. His dark blonde mane was sticking up every which-way, bare chest rising and falling calmly. The blankets clung to his calves, but he seemed unbothered by it. Sam hadn't even stirred, oblivious in his sleep.

Jared pulled himself together, wondering what had waken him. He felt high-stung with adrenaline, fingers still shaking. He couldn't recall his dream or what it was about…hell, he doubted he dreamed at all. All he had felt was pain, whispered words from dying lips of someone he had never met. He didn't wish to wake the others if it wasn't important, his inability to keep his nightmares at bay was a burden that hung heavy on his shoulders.

Jared snatched his jeans off the floor, shimming them up his hips easily and fastening them. He grabbed Sam's jacket off the back of the motel chair, encasing himself in it's rough material and musky scent. He stepped into his tennis shoes without socks, not bothering to tie them before he cracked the door open and slipped outside.

The air held the chill of Kansas without sun, cool seeping into every line and crack of the cheap motel. Jared had just shut the door when a car peeled out of the parking lot, squealing loudly before disappearing into the dark of the highway. Jared scoffed, walking across from their room to the low wall separating the parking lot from the cement sidewalk laid out before the rentroom doors. He placed his palms flat on it's width, shifting all his weight onto them.

He was so fuckin' tired of being _tired. _He could barely sleep, and Sam _always_ wanted to fuck. That boy must have been possessed by a demon jackrabbit, cause he was always touching him. It wasn't a bad thing, not by a long shot. He loved Sam's hands on him, under his shirt, over his thighs…but Jared was only human.

Just this morning Sam suddenly wanted to have a go with him in the back seat while Jensen and Dean were inside Arby's getting food. Jared ended up having to get up and out of the car since "_They'll be back any second_" and "_We can't disrespect Dean's car again_" apparently meant nothing.

Sometimes Jared wondered when he saw Sam's eyes black as pitch after sex…sometimes he wondered if Sam was getting off in a different way…

Jared shook his head, banishing the thoughts. They were perfectly healthy young men, and if Sam had a deeper hunger than himself…well, that was just fine too. There was nothing wrong with their sex life, it was fantastic every time. Sam never got rougher than Jared could handle, it was never done out of anger, and the others learned quickly to stay out of their way.

But still…

Jared rolled his shoulders, letting out a choked sound. The ache between his shoulders had grown to a constant burn, a simmer beneath his skin. He could ignore it, but lying on his back was tough. He reminded himself to check for a rash or something. Sam had told him about the time not long ago when Dean got ghost sickness…that's all Jared needed.

There was a sound near the stairs, like paper against cement. Jared raised his eyes, peering at the cement steps that led up to the second levels of the motel. A girl came down them, looking worn and confused. She adorned an oversized denim jacket that hung past her fingertips, threadbare jeans, a bleached out band tee. Her feet were bare, scraped. Her lips was busted but didn't bleed, an ugly bruise peeking out of her hairline.

She gave Jared a slight smile, stumbling toward him.

"Hey" her voice cracked.

"Hey there" Jared replied, noting she couldn't have been a day over twenty five "You ok?"

"I…think so" her dull doe eyes tracked the parking lot, searching "Have you seen a man leave? He's got blonde in his hair…tall thing…glasses?"

"No, but I saw a car pull out of here" Jared's heart felt for the stranger, she sounded so lost "Red piece of crap car made about 10 past it's prime?"

"Yeah, that was him" her jaw clenched "So he just left."

"I know this isn't my business, but…" Jared chewed his lower lip "Abusive husband?"

"Boyfriend" she spat "_Ex_-boyfriend. He thought he could rough me up, damn near busted my head open…"

"Sounds like a real bastard" he crinkled his nose "What's your name?"

"Amber" she replied, flickering raspberry dyed bangs out of her eyes "You?"

"Jared" he reached out to shake her hand, but she jerked away "Sorry."

Amber eyed him hopefully, "I could really use a smoke."

"Sorry again, I haven't picked up that habit" Jared let his eyes stray to the dark view, sighing "It's only a matter of time, though."

They both stood side by side, lost in their own thoughts. The sky was dark, though there wasn't many clouds to back out the stars or the crescent moon. Cars whizzed back and forth along the highway not even a mile away, lights splashing the pitch of night to reveal spots of color. Amber crossed her arms, shifting the small of her back against the low wall and leaning in.

"I'm sorry if we woke you."

"Huh?" Jared pulled himself out of his own head "You didn't."

"We were screaming pretty loud, I wouldn't be surprised if people in Ohio heard us" Amber smiled at her own weak joke, but there was no humor in her voice.

"I'll listen" Jared stated simply "I've got no one to tell."

Amber stayed quiet for a few long moments, then inhaled shakily.

"He was drunk and I was pissed" Amber began, slowly "The first thing he did when he came into the room was smack me. Tossed me around like a Raggedy Anne doll, that bastard. He got fired, _again_…and he thought he could take it out on me, _again_."

Amber's lower lip quivered, "Not this time. I grabbed my cell, I dialed 911. Bastard didn't even let me push the button."

Jared eyed the hellish bruise disappearing into her hairline, "Did he…?"

"He knocked me into the coffee table a few times" Amber winced, but kept her hands tucked into her jacket "I woke up alone."

Jared chewed the plump of his lip, "If you want to call the cops now, file a report…"

But Amber shook her head, declining.

"I should feel sad…I should feel depressed. I should want to slit my wrists and cry" Amber stared straight at the wall, eyes hardening with each word "But all I feel is…rage. I'm just so _angry_. At him, at my friends who abandoned me, at my drunkard father, at the world. I want to hit something, I want to tear something up. I want to…to ruin someone like I've been ruined."

Jared shivered at the chill of the night, breath fogging, "If your heart's full of hate, there's no room for anything else."

Amber all but growled, "You don't know a damn thing! You don't know what it's like to be enraged, to want nothing more than revenge. To hate something so much, all you can do is taste your own blood in your mouth. To have your happy ending _ripped_ from your hands!"

Amber choked on the rest of her words, fists dropping to clench at her sides. Jared reached out slowly, curling his fingers around hers. She was cool to the touch, but trembling. Amber looked up into his face, her own tight with barley suppressed ire. Jared eased her fist open, smiling warmly and sliding his palm into hers. His larger hand engulfed hers, fingers twining.

"I do know, Amber…I really do" Jared swore, tone sympathetic "And I know you don't mean that. I know that it's not worth working yourself into a frenzy. It doesn't help anyone when you're wound that tight, when you can't take a full breath without pain. I've tasted my own blood, and I _have_ hated someone for something they'd done. But in the end you're just…you got to let it go."

"Why?" Amber hissed "I can hurt so many people with my vengeance."

"Yeah, but then where will you be?" Jared sighed, but he remained reassuring and passive "The same is said about beauty and hate. There's so much of it in the world…and sometimes it overwhelms us. And just when you're sure you'll die from it, you've got to take another breath…and let it go. If we try to take it all inside of us and keep it for our own, it will burn us right through."

Amber broke, leaning into him and deflating. Jared placed a hand on her shoulder, sharing his warmth. The poor thing was freezing, shivering in his arms. He was feeling kind of cold himself, actually.

"Thanks, Jared" Amber pulled away, tears in her eyes "I'm gonna…I'm gonna go now."

"Are you gonna be ok by yourself?" Jared peered into her face, concerned "I've got time."

"Nah, I'm actually pretty ok now" Amber let him go completely, stepping away "You're right…if I just let it go…I didn't have such a bad life…"

"Yeah" Jared watched the girl all but ran up the slopes, out of sight in seconds "See ya…I guess."

()

Jared woke up the next morning in bed by himself, still dressed in his shoes and his lover's coat. His hips ached from sleeping in his jeans, but he was used to waking up in unease. He stretched and groaned, clenching his eyes shut against the inevitable sunlight.

"Time to get up, Jay."

"Sammy?" Jared murmured, eyes fluttering open reluctantly. His lover was sitting at the small motel table, a box of doughnuts and coffee waiting there. The actor grumbled and sat up on his elbows, looking around. Dean was packing the last of their stuff into their respective duffle bags, though quietly. The concern made Jared smile, and he turned his gaze back to his lover.

"You're trying to make me fat" Jared accused "You and your doughnuts."

"Oh yean, it's all a big conspiracy" Dean snickered, zipping up his boyfriend's duffle bag "Now get your scrawny ass out of bed, check out time was ten minutes ago. Jensen should be back from the counter, he's demanding a refund."

Jared's brow furrowed, "Why?"

"I don't know why that boy does anything" Dean drawled, but there was affection in his voice "He said he didn't sleep well or something…"

"And what about _you_, Jare?" Sam pushed "You're dressed to dash…feel the urge to run away on us?"

"I needed some air" Jared shrugged, scooting up until his back hit the headboard "Guess I just crawled back into bed…huh. I barley remember it."

Sam opened his mouth to reply, but the door opened. Jensen stumbled inside, pale and wide eyed. He had a hand pressed to the base of his stomach, as if sick. Dean went to his side, cupping his shoulders and peering into his face.

"Jensen?" Dean wasn't sure whether to have the actor sit down or smack him in the face to break the shock "Did something happen, honey?"

"Last night…" Jensen sighed, trying to calm himself "Just upstairs…there was a couple, a man and a girl. They, uh…found her body this morning. Apparently he was knocking her around and she tried to call the cops on him."

Jared started to tremble.

"He slammed her head into the table, internal brain hemorrhage" Jensen shook his head, upset "I can't believe it. She was about my sister's age…the police just took the body away."

Sam closed his eyes and bowed his head, as did Dean in a mutual moment of silence for the dead.

But Jared's voice broke it, "What was her name? How did she die?"

"Her name was Amber Dennis" Jensen replied evenly "From what the medics in the ambulance said, she died almost instantly. The cops said the boyfriend ran when he realized she was dead, pulled out of here in some old red car."

Jared crawled out of the bed, staggering towards the bathroom. The door slammed shut behind him, followed closely by the sounds of vomiting.

Dean winced, "What's up with him?"

Sam shrugged off-handedly, "Maybe it's just a shock, he's getting pretty supernaturally sensitive."

Jensen kept his gaze on the bathroom door, brow creased, "Are you sure that's _all_?"

Dean scoffed, "What else _could_ it be? The kid lives on nothing but Twinkies and greasy diner food, it was bound to catch up with him."

The younger Winchester gave him a look, "So do you, Dean."

"That's different" Dean flashed his All-American-Boy grin "I'm used to it, _I_ can eat anything."

Jensen reluctantly let the issue go, "Yeah, I guess that's it."

_**TBC**_

_**All about us (all about us)**_


	25. Chapter 25

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {25-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!! Cheating

**~Next Day~**

They stopped at a bar halfway to Smokey Hills, Dean had an itch he needed to satisfy. Money was good to have, but he felt like he was leeching off of Jared and Jensen. Dean Winchester wasn't a leech. He was a lot of things (a petty theft felon, lock picker, hunter, big brother, mechanic, expert marksman, make-shift inventor), but he was _not_ going to leech off his lover anymore.

Hence the bar…hustling.

Sam and Jensen were at the bar, nursing beers and discussing the tendencies of vampires. Though hazel eyes kept straying back towards the smoky pool tables, making sure his brother had it all under control. Jared was back at the motel, sleeping with the help of some Nyquil. He had felt horrible since they left the last motel, but refused to talk it about it other than a murmur about an ache in his back. Instead, his lover had spoon fed him some sleep medicine and tucked him into the covers.

"So, no sweating blood?" Jensen inquired.

Sam shook his head, "It doesn't work like that."

A smile tugged at full lips, "What about sparkling?"

The hunter gave him a firm look, "Vampires don't fuckin' sparkle."

They toasted their Michelob's to that, snickering quietly.

Sam licked the bitter droplets form his lips, "How's Dean been?"

Jensen didn't even pretend to misunderstand, "He won't talk to me."

"All I know is that he was tortured for forty years down there, ripped up one side and down the other" the Winchester winced at his words, but they needed to be said "If you think he's bad now, you should've seen him the year before he went. Something happened those last ten years, but he won't admit anything. Every time I push, he clams up. Alastair -_the bastard_- has dropped a few hints…but nothing concrete."

"I can't make him better" Jensen admitted softly "I've tried Sammy -_God knows I have_- but he doesn't want my help. I tried to take Castiel's mark from his skin, but I couldn't."

"Whoa, what?" Sam sputtered "You tried _what_?"

"It didn't work, Sam…I can't heal" Jensen stated, looking straight into the hunter's eyes "I've already been scolded, so don't start."

Sam nodded reluctantly, "Are you…alright?"

"It was a while ago, I'm fine now" the actor assured him, trying to lighten the mood "Did Bobby talk to you about the show?"

Sam flushed, "Yeah. Dad doesn't know, and that's all that matters."

"To sneaky, underhanded deeds" Jensen raised his beer in jest, and they toasted with a shared chuckle.

Sam's eyes strayed away from the actor's smiling face, searching for his brother again. He found him through the cigarette smoke, there at the back table. Dean had been knocking them back pretty hard, every so often the round-heeled barmaid came up for another set of beer for his brother's table. Dean must have been feeling the effects, cause there was no other explanation for what was happening.

Dean was leaning against the pool table, his hands around the cute barmaid's hips. He was pressed right up against her, whispering gently in her ear and kissing the shell. She was giggling and wiggling closer, her petite hands on his broad shoulders. Her generous chest was right against his brother's, her thighs squeezed between his.

Sam jerked away from the sight, taking a cool gulp of beer. He couldn't believe his brother was doing this! After all that shit about loving Jensen and them being their salvation! Sam was filled with loathing and guilt, they mixed a sour brew in the base of his stomach. He stood up suddenly, blocking the view from Jensen with his chest.

"Why don't we get out of here?" Sam suggested, tangent at the actor's sleeve like a child while he tried to keep the panic from his voice "We shouldn't leave Jared alone too long…what about Xander? He tried it before, maybe he'll try again?"

"Jared's as safe as he's going to get, Sam" Jensen spoke slowly, brow creased and gaze curious "Salt lines in place, sigils on the door in magic marker. Xander has no way to get in."

"But-"

"We can't leave Dean alone" the actor pointed out "He's unprotected here…and you know those games can turn. You'd feel just as guilty as I would if Dean got arrested."

Sam was panicking now, "Let's go get something to eat, then?""I'm staying" Jensen turned back to the bar "And there's nothing you can say to get me to leave. I don't know why you…keep…"

Jensen's beer hit the bar with a thunk, nearly empty bottle settling in place after a short spin. He gaped, wide eyed and dumbstruck like a small child. Sam followed his gaze up, wincing when he saw what the mirrored back walls of the bar reflected. There was a clear view of Dean, latched onto the woman's mouth like a leech. Hands were roaming, curving over chests and backs and hair.

Jensen choked a little, the bartender came up and took his empty bottle.

She was early thirties, with long raven hair and a sympathetic smile, "Can I get you another Michelob, sweetheart? Maybe something warm?"

Jensen's eyes glazed over at her soothing voice, "Yeah, pretty thing. Bring me a shot glass and a bottle of spiced rum, will ya?"

She smiled and nodded, going down the bar.

"Sam" Jensen sounded so broken, unable to tear his eyes from the sight that burned into him "Could you stay and be the designated driver? I don't think I'll be up to it."

"Yeah" Sam nodded, a lump in his throat the size of his first "I'll stay."

"Thanks" Jensen spoke to the bartender, who set down a shot glass ad filled it to the rim with the spiced rum. Jensen tossed it down without hesitation, all but throwing it down his throat. She left the bottle, giving him space.

Dean pulled away from his new plaything, whispering something in her ear. She grinned wickedly, taking his hand and pulling him towards the men's bathroom. The hunter stumbled a little, but couldn't keep the grin off his face.

Sam watched Jensen see this…watched him throw back another shot and wince.

Somehow Sam convinced himself that wasn't a tear running down the actor's face, that he wasn't witnessing a heart break.

()

They left the bar not two hours later. Sam manhandled his brother into the passenger seat, heart aching as he watched Jensen calmly lay himself in the back seat. They were both piss drunk, but the older Winchester had two handfuls of cash. He was grinning and thumbing through it, but Sam knew his brother couldn't see anything past his dilated pupils.

Sam got in the driver's seat and started the car, pulling out.

They were halfway to the motel when Dean spoke up, "Why the hell are you driving the car, Sam?"

"Cause I'm sober."

Dean stared blankly out the windshield, "Where's Jenny?"

Sam looked up into the rearview mirror. Jensen was spread on the leather seat, teeth digging into the side of his thumb. Dean repeated himself, but Jensen just bit down harder and clenched his eyes shut.

Sam lied through his teeth, "Back at the motel."

Dean burst out into a grin, "Good. Did you see that pretty piece of tail back at the bar?"

Sam crinkled his nose, "Yeah?"

Dean closed his eyes, still grinning, "Sucks like a dream."

"Shut up" Sam growled, glancing at the mirror to watch Jensen curl up on his side "Just…shut up, jackass."

Dean frowned and made a mocking sound, but didn't open his eyes.

Sam knew it had gone too far.

He pulled into the motel not long after, killing the engine with a flick of his wrist. Dean managed to get himself out of the car, only falling once before he got to the door. He used his key to get in, grumbling loudly before shutting the door.

Sam let out the breath he had been holding, turning in his seat to face the actor, "Jen?"

Jensen released his vice on his hand, revealing deep red indents, "Yeah?"

He sounded raw, it hurt Sam's heart, "Are you…? I know you'd not ok now, but will you…_be_ ok?"

"Hurts" Jensen muttered, teary eyes cracking open.

"Jen" Sam sighed, reaching out and running a hand over the man's shoulders "Let's go. It's cold out here, and there's a nice warm bed inside for you."

"I don't want it" Jensen sneered, but the chill of the night air was seeping into him.

"Want to sleep out here?" Sam inquired, the actor nodded "Ok, I'll lock the doors."

Sam shucked off his coat, laying it over Jensen's form. The slighter man wriggled into the warmth, eyes fluttering closed. Sam locked the doors before he left, leaving the man secure in the car by himself.

When he entered the room, he found Dean passed out cold on his bed. Stripped down to his boxers, he snored and drooled on the pillow like a great useless thing. Jared was bundled under the comforter on their bed, fast asleep as well but reasonably much cuter.

Sam sighed and rubbed at his eyes, this wasn't going to end well.

()()()

**~Next Morning~**

Dean sauntered out of the shower, bare except for the towel scrubbing at his hair. Jared, who was snacking down on his peanut M&M stash, held up a hand to shield his eyes from the nakedness. Dean snickered, doing an exaggerated hip wiggle in front of the actor. Sam's glare sobered him, he promptly put on his boxers and jeans.

As he fastened himself up, he looked around expectantly. Jensen was nowhere to be found, which was unusual. Dean had woken up cold and alone in their bed, and had immediately swallowed down four aspirin. Thankfully it had done the trick to kick his hangover's ass, and the shower had finished it off.

Dean felt good, but lonely.

"Where's my pretty boy?" Dean inquired, getting only a shrug and a frown from Jared. Sam stayed quiet and still, his laptop perched on his lap and humming softly. The older hunter walked over, slapping down the screen and getting a fierce glare for his trouble.

Sam's jaw clenched, but not a word was uttered.

"Where's my Jenny-doll, Sammy?" Dena's voice was still teasing, but it had an edge "You know."

Dean wasn't expecting the venom that was spat at him, "Why don't you ask the tavern whore?"

The hunter winced at this, stepping away. Flashes had been coming to him all morning from the night before. Soft breasts, strawberry gloss flavored lips, a skirt beneath his fingertips…a warm mouth on his, on his cock…legs around his waist, feminine moans in his ear…

Dean thought he was going to be sick, "I fucked her, didn't I?"

"Yeah" Sam pointedly ignored his own lover's gasp of shock, the pitter-patter of M&M's echoed throughout the room as he hit the floor "Right in front of him, jackass. Jensen saw it all, and he knows what you did."

Dean downcast his eyes, "I didn't…I had too many, and she was close by and easy."

Sam gave a grunt, half-frustrated and half-amused, "You're a bastard, you know that? You can be a _real_ selfish prick when you want, big brother."

"He would give you _anything,_ Dean. He loves more than _anything_" Jared sounded strangled, mostly in shock "And you fucked a waitress?"

Sam gave a look, shutting the actor up.

"Where is he?"

"In the car" Sam replied coldly "He didn't want to be in the same bed as you while you still had the stink of her on you."

"Shut up!" Dean snapped, tugging on his Black Flag shirt and ignoring the way it clung to his damp chest. He grabbed one of the cups of coffee Sam had gotten earlier, casting his brother a filthy look before taking the keys as well.

Sam opened his mouth to protest, but his brother was already out the door.

Dean made his way to the Impala, maneuvering his keys out in front of him. He sat the coffee atop the car, easily in reach. He unlocked the front door and slipped inside, clicking the locks in the back off. He tried to turn and look at his lover, but he couldn't get a full view (this bugged him.) Dean rolled back out of the vehicle, throwing open the back door.

Jensen was curled up on his side in the car, twitching and groaning like he was having a bad dream. He looked a little pale, the scent of spiced rum clinging to the very seat he laid on. He was so pretty…his light hair ruffled every which way and compact body curled up on itself. A large coat covered him, a tan faux-pleather coat.

Dean growled at the sight of his brother's coat wrapped around his lover's form. He smelled Sam in the car…on Jensen…on _his_ Jensen. Unbidden, images came to his mind of Sam tucking Jensen in the backseat and kissing him goodnight while he himself laid asleep a little more then 20 feet away.

//No, Sam wouldn't do that// Dean scolded himself, unsure if he was more guilt-ridden or angry. Angry at Sam, at that slut waitress, at alcohol, at himself.

Instead of standing there brooding, Dean sprung into action. He grabbed the coffee off the top of the car, placing it in the foot rest carefully. He eased himself over his lover, crawling right on top of him and straddling his hips. He bent down and kissed his cheek, nuzzling it lovingly.

"Honey, wake up."

()

_Jensen was back at that God-forsaken bar…alone. He sat at the counter, gazing only a his own reflection and a few dozen nameless bottles of booze. He still wanted a drink, wanted a line of drinks…wanted anything that would take the sharp jagged glass out of his chest. He thought for a moment he would cry again, but he couldn't do that here. Not in this place._

_Someone appeared at his side, there in the reflection. Raven hair that curled at the ends, fathomless eyes…silk on leather…broader and taller than he would ever be. Jensen's lips curled in disgust, glaring knives at the demon's reflection._

"_Xander" he spat the name like it burned._

"_Jensen" Xander purred, leaning casually against the bar counter and giving him a lazy grin "Looks like your Happy-Ever-Fucking-After-True-Love wasn't as 'forever' as you hoped it would be. It was…what? Four? Five months tops?"_

"_You don't know anything" the actor narrowed his eyes "You're not even physically here, are you?"_

_The demon's pleasure faltered._

"_What's wrong? Does the Big Bag fear a little Hollywood actor?" Jensen teased, feeling like he had already tossed down several shots "Chicken shit."_

"_Whore."_

_The word stung Jared into silence, forcing a pathetic sound from the back of his throat. He hung his head in defeat, hands curling into fists on the smooth countertop. He tried to take a calming breath, but the air was thin here. He struggled to stay upright for a moment, his reactions stunted. He tried to will his body to stand, to get up and away…but to no avail._

_Jensen gained a little of his strength back, enough to at least lift his head. Xander no longer stood beside him, it was his lover. Dean grinned, walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist. It felt wrong, too tight and sour._

"_I could be the Dean you need" Xander's voice spilled from that familiar mouth, resting his chin sharply in the actor's shoulder "I could be sweet and faithful…never put a bruise on your body or a rough touch on your skin. I would speak softly and never hold my feelings back out of a self-conceived notion of right and wrong." _

_The demon turned it's head, eyes flashing red as it spoke into his ears, "I would be everything you wanted as I ripped every last ounce of soul from your body."_

Jensen gasped hoarsely, eyes snapping open. He found himself under his lover, Dean's handsome face hovering above him. He could feel the sweat beading at his temples, a tension headache was lurking just at the back of his skull. He moaned softly in relief, realizing quickly it was just a nightmare…it had all been just a nightmare…

But some things weren't illusions.

Dean had put his hands on that cute waitress, put his hands on her waist and in her hair. His lips -those lovely lips that had worshipped every inch of his body- had clumsily kneaded at her neck and mouth. Right there in the bar for everyone to see, no shame. The only sign of modesty between them had been when she lead him to the bathroom, the hunter following like a puppy.

Jensen felt bile rise in his throat…whether from the thought of his lover fucking some easy slut or the hangover that threatened to consume him, who knew?

The All-Seeing Merciful God, that's who…the bastard…

"Good morning" Dean had faux-cheer injected in his voice like teriyaki sauce "I got you coffee."

"Get off me" Jensen demanded, the hunter responding to the commanding tone immediately. Dean sat up, giving his lover plenty of room to get away. Jensen pulled himself up into a sitting position, out from under the Winchester and back against the car door. He made an effort not to appear angry…he went for insouciance and succeeded.

"Thanks" Jensen took the coffee off the floor, bringing it to his lips. It was strong, bitter on his tongue, but good.

"What's that on your hand?"

Jensen pulled away from the coffee long enough to look down at his hand, wincing. The skin was enflamed, a perfect indention of his teeth right there in his very own skin. He merely shrugged, letting Sam's jacket hide the wound. When Dean made a move toward him, Jensen pushed open the door and got out.

The air was stained with the stench of truck smog and cigarette smoke, but it was better than sharing Dean's air right now.

"Jensen!"

Jensen didn't stop his track past the car and up onto the sidewalk, coffee to his lips.

Dean caught up to him easily, "How much do you remember from last night?"

Jensen shrugged, "Not much of anything, really."

Dean frowned, "Then what's with the _hard-to-get_ act?"

The actor didn't even spare him a look, "I had a nightmare, you startled me."

Dean called his bluff, swinging himself into Jensen's path. He wrapped his arms around the slighter man' waist, dropping another kiss on his cheek and several down his neck. It was a chaste exchange, a rare one, but it still churned Jensen's stomach. He was a good boy, he let Dean take whatever he needed to reassure himself that they were ok. He even managed a smile when Dean pulled away, dark jade eyes curious.

"Are you done?" Jensen teased, broken heart jabbing him in the ribs "I need a shower."

Jensen wriggled away, closing in on the door.

"You smell like my brother."

Jensen couldn't keep the bitter scoff off his lips, "Oh yeah, completely. Me and Sammy did it fast, hot, and hardcore all night long in the back seat of your car. Get real, Dean."

Jensen turned briefly, giving him his sweetest smile and most innocent tone, "I would never do something like that to you, Dean. I love you too much to even _think_ of another person, let alone your brother."

Dean's shocked and hurt expression turned Jensen's grin _sour_, the actor turned and headed inside the room.

//Good. I hope the guilt rots you, you son-of-a-bitch.//

Sam and Jared just stared at him when he entered the room, shocked that Dean was still in one piece and that Jensen was so calm. Jensen shrugged off the coat, laying to over the nearest chair.

"Thanks for the coat, Sam" Jensen walked towards the bathroom "If you need me, I'll be throwing up."

()

The rest of the morning was just as awkward. Jensen talked and joked, but steered clear of Dean. When Dean pushed himself into the actor's personal space, he was met with no resistance. Jensen never initiated it, he could barely bring himself to pretend. Sam had quietly informed Jared of everything that had happened while he was asleep, and the man was positively disgusted by the entire affair. They both agreed that whole "I was too drunk to remember" bit Jensen was trying to sell was fake, but didn't say a thing.

Check out came around soon enough, and Jared found himself piling the duffle bags in the back of the Impala. Sam and Dean lingered in the room, taking up the salt lines like usual. Jensen strolled to the car, hands buried in his large denim jacket. He had taken to wearing it only when they went out at night, but it was Dean's spare and he was on a mission.

Jensen was going to show Dean that he wasn't a casual fuck, that Dean couldn't trail off every time he got bored and expect him to take it.

Jensen threw open the driver side door, putting his foot firmly in the interior doorframe. He leaned against the rest of the door, raising a brow when the Winchesters came out.

"You guys done pokin' around? Come on! Let's not wait for the grass to grow."

Dean opened and closed his mouth twice before he spoke, "Jen, maybe I should-?"

"What?" Jensen snapped quickly, putting on a prissy tone "Something wrong, Dean? Don't want me up front? Don't you _trust_ me?"

Jared swallowed thickly, he had only heard that tone when Kripke tried to do something stupid with fictional-Dean. That was a tone that said "_I'm an actor, you can't go on without me here, don't fuck with me._" Not that either of them were exactly A-list billion dollar celebrities or anything. While Jared came off goofy, Jensen seemed naturally engraved with oh-so-superior genes and an aura to match.

Jensen had been in the business since he was seventeen, he was not one to be fucked with.

Dean nodded, starting to sweat, "I don't care if you drive, Jen."

"Oh good" Jensen's smirk was overly sweet, voice fluttering like a moth in a cage of chubby fingers "I'm glad you trust me with your baby, Dean."

Sam pushed his brother forward, cheeks flushed now. He knew that Jensen knew, and Jensen knew that he knew, but apparently…Dean didn't know Jensen knew. Sam hoped that whatever the actor was planning, it wasn't something Dean would never recover from. Dean still felt like he was alone after Hell, that no one could understand the pain he had been in. The made him vulnerable.

Jensen could only push so hard.

Jensen slid behind the wheel, slipping the sunglasses over his eyes.

This wasn't going to end well.

_**TBC**_

_**There's a thing that they can't touch**_


	26. Chapter 26

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {26-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

_**~Next Day~**_

Even though Sam had adamantly protested, Dean stopped at the next small town they came to. Sam had hissed in his brother's ear about how this was a bad idea, about how he _knew_ this was going to end well. But Dean had shrugged him off, stating that Jensen was already cold to his affection…what else could go wrong?

"You could lose him…_forever_."

But Dean had already fucked up, and he was known for going on streaks.

The biker bar was seedy at best, all the man clad in studs and leather. The stark stench of cigarette smoke and moonshine lingered in the air, the very air thick with smoke of both kinds. The obvious illegal odor sent Jared running like a girl, and Sam had promised to be back later for the other two before he followed his lover out the door.

Dean was raking in some fair cash. It had taken a while to get into the rhythm relatively sober, but not more than a couple of games. He pocketed one ball after another, even gaining some fans. This bar was kinda "anything goes", and the crowd was pretty friendly. Everyone drank a little too much, but it only helped him take cash out of their pockets.

Maybe some of them were a little _too_ friendly. Some of the girls pushed right up against him without shame, the scent of rose oil and beer leaking from every pore. Even these men -manly men, who rode hogs- groped at his ass when the whiskey got too heavy on their lips.

A bar Jensen had refused to leave him alone in, stating that he was "back-up" before hitting the bar.

"Whew, boys" Dean pulled back from his shot, that All-American Boy grin on his face "Looks like I won."

There was a mix of "aww" and "yeah" from the surrounding crowd. The two men he had been playing with did another round of shots, then breathlessly demanded another game.

"Sure, man, just rack 'em up" Dean shrugged like it was no big deal, pocketing the cash he had won. He stepped aside for a moment, taking a cube and chalking the end of his cue once more. He casually looked around, hunter instincts demanding another canvas of this seedy place. He looked to the bar for his lover, but that mess of highlighted locks were nowhere to be seen.

Panic rose so fast in his throat that he nearly choked on it. He was just about to go seize the bartender by the neck and demand some answers when he saw them. Dear God, he wished he could un-see it. A red veil fell over his vision, jaw clenching so tight he could almost taste the copper of his own blood.

Jensen was leaning his back against one of the few pillars in the bar, the dark red lacquer a contrast with his forest green t-shirt. He looked damn sexy tonight (every night, really.) His dark denim jeans hugged his thighs just right, those thick buckle bracelets on his wrists gave him that submissive look.

_Take me. Fuck me. Own me._

Those signals should be only for Dean, but that wasn't the case here.

There was a man all but pinning him to the pillar, one hand flat beside Jensen's head and he other dangerously close to his hips. He was tall and disgustingly handsome, white blonde hair and layered on leather. He had damn hard forearms…thick enough to crush Jensen.

The talked lowly, sharing secret grins and staying close. Surely Jensen was choking on the guy's cheap cologne and whiskey breath? Billy Idol there didn't seem to have a lick of decency, his lack of concern for personal space evident. And Jensen just stood there and smiled, flirting and stringing the guy along with those big emerald eyes.

Jensen reached out and curled his fingers in Billy Idol's belt, dragging him closer. The actor whispered something, his smile still sweet. Billy seemed more than happy to comply, a Cheshire grin on his face. He ducked his head down to the crook of Jensen's neck, mouthing the skin there like he was just _starving_. He seemed to be whispering words of worship and appreciation in the slighter man's ear.

Jensen positively giggled, leaning into the touch and encouraging him with soft whispers in return to the lustful words. Billy's hand slipped down the his lover's chest, easing under the hem of his shirt to his stomach. A strip of flesh was revealed to the murky light, there for anyone to see.

The pool cue splintered in Dean's grip, snapping with a grunt.

Jensen met his lover's eyes straight on, jade meeting jade. Electricity crackled between them, Dean felt a tug on his heart like they were bound by a silk chord. He took a step toward him, begging with his eyes for this all to be some sick game between them. Jensen didn't know he had cheated, right? Surely he didn't know? Surely his beautiful Jen wouldn't hurt him like this on purpose?

Jensen pulled Billy away and past the pillar, the biker still wrapped on him like a leech. They were out the door in less than a minute, not a person tried to stop them. Minutes went by, but they didn't return.

"Hey, man, you ready?" one of the men at the table called "Another round, yeah?"

"No" Dean hissed, the shattered pool cue falling from his fingers "No more games tonight."

The table stayed silent, watching him leave with awe and fear.

Dean burst out into the cold night, puffing like a bull who had been prodded one too many times. He looked around wildly, but the two men were nowhere to be found. He was about ready to call Sam and have him psychic up an answer when it happened. Billy Idol stumbled out of an ally by the bar, clutching his cheek and looking confused. He grumbled and complained all the way to the doorway, nearly brushing Dean before re-entering the bar.

Dean almost followed him, but his mind clicked on another option. If that bastard was in there, where was Jensen? The hunter crept to the mouth of the ally, unsure what he would find there. If it was a dead body, that entire building was going to burn down tonight. He'd set the whole God-damn town aflame if even one hair was out of place on his Jenny…

Dean entered the side ally, abandoned and dark in such a slummy sigh of town. He briefly wondered why all those side ally's looked alike, but he was just grateful this one didn't have that creepy smog at the end. His eyes quickly adjusted, and he found his soulmate.

Jensen was leaning against the solid wall, shirt still half rucked up and hair tussled. He looked like he was trying to catch his breath…that, or fight back tears. He seemed world weary, ready to collapse under the invisible weight pressing down upon him.

Then the actor saw him and put on a false bravado.

"Following me?"

"You little shit" Dean all but growled, anger not yet gone as he advanced on the slighter man "Going out in a back ally with a stranger at _least_ ten years older than you? Do you _want_ to get drugged and raped?"

Jensen scowled, "Oh, look who's _concerned_."

"You're damn right I'm concerned!" Dean barked, getting inches from the other's face "What the hell were you thinking? Letting him touch you like that…he was all over you Jensen, you know what he wanted!"

"I'm a celebrity, everybody wants me" Jensen put on his smug smirk "I'm hot, who can really blame them?"

Dean faltered, "Since when did you decide you wanted everyone to want to fuck you?"

Jensen couldn't look away, "Since you decided a wet pussy and fake tits were better than being with the other half of your soul."

Dean snapped.

He slammed Jensen up against the wall, pinning him easily by his biceps and taking his mouth. There was a trace of cigarette smoke left on his lips, but nothing to indicate anything horrible. Jensen grunted, clawing at the back of the Winchester's neck and along his shoulder blade. It was all teeth and need, but it all stemmed from hurt.

"I saw you" Jensen rasped, body already responding to the way his lover was pressed into him "_I saw you_! With her, that bitch…taking what's mine. How could you do that to me? To us?!"

Jensen got in a punch to the gut, but all Dean did was grunt before pinning the actor's wrists down. He gave another growl, pushing against the hunter with all his strength. It only grinded their hips, setting off more sparks behind their eyelids and down their fingertips.

"What about you?" Dean wrenched himself away, fingers tangling in his lover's thick submission bracelets "This for him, huh? Your little biker stud? What were you promising him, huh Jen? Were you gonna get on your knees and blow him right here with me not even 30 feet away? Or maybe let him pin you down and fuck you here in this skank ally?"

"Bastard" Jensen spat, tears in his eyes "It's only you, it's only ever _been_ you! I've been fantasizing about you since I was thirteen! It was _your_ name I called out in that damn Ferrari! Now that I had you…"

Jensen dropped his head, all anger gone for that moment of helplessness, "…I thought I'd be enough to keep you, Dean…maybe I was wrong, maybe Castiel and Hecate were wrong…if you need an easy lay in a bar to make you happy, who am I to say otherwise?"

It broke Dean's heart to hear such a thing. He refused to let go of Jensen's wrists, instead settled for learning in and nosing at his cheek. Jensen whined like he was in pain, pulling away from the touch. But Dean was damn insistent, dropping chaste kisses and nuzzling at the actor's jaw.

"Love you" Dean murmured, branding the skin beneath his lips with his breath.

Jensen shuddered at the admission. He knew he was giving in too easily, he knew he should make Dean work for it. He should demand silk sheets and cherry oil, a proper seduction before he let the hunter back into his bed. But it hurt to hate him, his soul ached for that reconnection.

"Always love you" Jensen replied, tilting his chin back and cherishing the way his lover suckled at the soft skin beneath his jaw "No matter how much you try to fuck it up. I saw her pulling you back into the bathroom…I thought I lost you."

"You were trying to make me jealous" Dean's voice took edge again "And it fuckin' worked. I wanted to kill him for touching what's mine…for thinking he could have you in his bed."

Dean slipped a thigh between the firm ones of his lover's, grinding into him smoothly. Jensen moaned loudly, rocking his head back against the solid wall.

"The only bed you'll be warming is mine."

"Come on, stud" Jensen thrust back, a dare in his eyes "You wanna go alpha male on me? You better prove it right here. I can't wait, Dee…or maybe that biker guy could-"

Dean slammed his mouth over Jensen's, slanting their lips and thrusting hard. Someone's lip split, the metallic taste staining their tongues. Unable to take it any longer, Dean jerked away and turned his lover around. Jensen gasped when his palms met dirty wall, hands working on his jeans. It was just like their first time, rushed and unexpected but much needed. At least this time he wasn't in a cheap skirt.

Cool air brushed his ass, jeans pulled down over the curve of his ass to mid-thigh. Two thick fingers brushed across his ear, then traced the line of his lips.

"Suck" Dean nibbled the shell of his ear, voice dark "It's the only slick you're going to get, Jenny."

"Jerk" Jensen muttered, parting his lips to accept the digits. Hot flesh brushed his ass, causing the muscles to clench and goosebumps to break out over the surface of his skin. He sucked obediently at the callous flesh in his mouth, swirling his tongue and giving small moans like it was something way more interesting. Dean buried his nose in the crop of light hair, moaning as the scent of cheap shampoo and _Jensen_ flooded his senses. The hot mouth was working his fingers like he'd felt on his dick so many times, tongue slipping in between his index and ring finger so smoothly…

"You're gonna kill me with that mouth" Dean drawled, yanking his fingers from that pretty mouth to slip down his body.

"Shit!" Jensen cursed, arching his back and taking the fingers without pretense. It was a fast and dirty prep, but he'd had less before with a lot less appealing partners. Dean chewed at the back of his neck, leaving his mark. Thank God they did this so often, he would have never been able to take it like this a few months ago.

"Ready?" Dean tongued the sweat droplets off the nape of his neck, lining up his spit-slick cock "Can you take it all, Jen?"

Jensen took it all in one thrust, eyes widening at the fullness and burn, "_Dean_."

Dean shivered at the rough purr, "Oh, baby…I'm gonna give it."

They went fast and hard right there, not bothering to contain their noise. Jensen kept moaning, not giving a fuck that he sounded like a whore. Let passerby's think Dean had paid 25 bucks a pop for him, who gave a damn? With Dean pressed flush up behind him, pounding into him, breathing his name into the base of his neck…who was he to complain?

Neither lasted long, denied of each for too long (had it only been two days?) Jensen thrust back hard and screamed, spilling his seed up against the wall where so many others had probably been. He slumped from his hands to his elbows, still rocking back against his lover and riding out the waves of his orgasm. A handful of strokes later and Dean was coming right in him, the slick-slide of cum too much for either of them. Dean moaned in what sounded like gratitude, bracing his hand on the wall but not letting go of the actor for any reason.

"I'm sorry" Dean spoke into his lover's ear, both still trying to catch their breaths "That girl was nothing. I was drunk, and it was just natural to me. She was nothing like you, no girl has been."

"Yeah" Jensen sighed when a solid arm wrapped around his middle, pulling him further back onto his lover's softening shaft "Sorry about that guy. He got too handsy, I had to slap him."

Dean's eyes shot open, something flaring in them, "Want me to go back in there and-?"

"No" Jensen cut him off, slipping his hands off the wall and down to his pants "Come on, Dean…do you want everyone to see us like this?"

Dean's cock gave a twitch of interest, but he pulled away nonetheless, "Maybe."

"Hn" Jensen snorted, pulling up his jeans and buckling them. He turned, watching Dean fiddle with his own belt. It seemed his fingers weren't the only ones that were numb, that was some awesome sex and it should affect them this much. With a little help, they both were decent again.

Dean grabbed the front of his lover's pants, pulling him in close and away from the wall. Their mouths met languidly, this time all slick tongues and lips. It was a reassurance, love between them. There was nothing rough anymore, the edge faded away.

"Come on" Dean murmured to him, eyes dark "I've got some of that cherry oil you adore so much. I can rub you down a bit, show you how sorry I am?"

Jensen's tongue flickered over his lower lip, "I might even forgive if you bottom and go no less than two rounds…maybe."

Dean cackled, "Deal."

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know (ah ah)It's all about us (all about us)**_


	27. Chapter 27

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {27-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN:** If anyone gets the vague _Buffy _reference, thank you)

**~Next Day~**

The day wasn't as balmy as it could have been. The farther they crept north, the easier the humidity was on them. The road before them wound on, though it wasn't the usual stretch of nowhere desert. There was grass now on these stretches, tress dotted in droves. Purple lined mountains were in the far distance. Dark clouds withered overhead, broken and wispy but refusing to leave.

Dean tapped out the rhythm to "Helloween" on the steering wheel, King Diamond blaring from the speakers. Sam was in the passenger seat next to him, fiddling half-heartedly with a Rubik's cube. He was never any good with them, but he was bored and it had been in the glove box. Jensen seemed to be texting on his Blackberry, in the backseat just behind the oldest Winchester.

Jared sat quiet and still behind Sam, pressing close to the car door. His arm was folded along the inside of the closed window, chin resting in the crook of his elbow. Sam's cracked window let in the wind, it whipped his honey brown locks across his forehead and out of his face. Nile green eyes were glazed over, temples beginning to throb. He twitched once in a while, jaw clenched tight.

There was a burning itch between his shoulder blades. Every time the car shifted his back would rub against the seat, irritating it. It had been going on for a few days, but it had been nothing to worry about before. Now it was all he could think about, nagging at him like a sore thumb…times seven or so. He didn't want to tell the others, it was nothing serious. There wasn't a blemish to be seen on the skin of his back, he had checked himself twice in the mirror.

Maybe it was just a subconscious thing.

The car rocked suddenly, lurching them all. Jared hissed when the rough material brushed his back, but no one seemed to notice. There was nothing on the road, nothing to cause an action so serious. A shadow passed Jensen's window, scraping against the metal.

"Goddamn!" Dean started to pull over, jaw set "No respect for a man's wheels!"

The Impala stopped at the side of the road, but the engine stayed on. All four looked around, scanning every inch of landscape. There was nothing out there…nothing too dangerous anyway. A squirrel in a nearby tree, the soft hum of bees searching for flowers to pollinate. Sam's eyes flickered pitch for a moment, then settled back down.

"There's no one out there" Sam stated, though he spoke low as if not to be overhead "We probably just hit a cat, or a pothole."

Dean glared at his brother, "Potholes don't scratch cars, college boy."

"Touché" Sam grabbed his handgun from under the seat, the other three doing the same "Ok. On the count of three?"

"One" Dean loaded his gun, popping in his spare cartridge.

Jensen clicked the safety off his own weapon, "…two…"

Jared's door flew open, a hand shooting inside and grabbing a handful of honey hair. Jared thrashed like a wild animal, gun dropping unheeded from his hand to land with a thump in the foot rest. He was pulled out of the car like a doll, hitting the ground hard before being dragged farther away from the Impala. The cut and grit of gravel ground under his writhing body, hands grasping upwards and clawing at his aggressor. Just as his back hit grass, he heard the others getting weapons out of the trunk and advancing for him.

Jared craned his neck, whimpering when he saw that it was Xander.

"I'm tired of chasing after you, Winchesters!" Xander snarled, crimson bleeding through the pitch mocha of his eyes "You've had enough time with your whores!"

Jared was shaken like a kitten at this, half on the ground still.

"It seems the longer I wait, the more trouble you brew between you."

Dean and Jensen had shotguns trained on the demon and ready, handguns at their feet. Sam had his personal handgun up, eyes black.

"It's time I take what's mine" Xander twisted his grip, bringing Jared painfully to his feet. He pressed close, pulling a hiss of pain out of the boy. Jared flinched when sour breath washed over his ear, locking his eyes with his lover's to try and pull comfort from them. The heel of the demon's hand dug into the middle of his shoulder blades, pulling a groan this time.

"Do you know what this pain is?" Xander growled, satisfaction in his voice when Jared tried to arch away "Do you even know what stirs inside you, baby-one? All this pain and confusion…I could take it out of you with a few strokes and a couple of well-placed kisses. Let me have it…and you'll get your peace."

"Let him go!" Sam lashed out his power, but the demon barley flinched "You filth!"

Xander just laughed, "The pot calling the kettle a bastard, Sammy."

Jared saw this.

He saw how his lover struggled with his power, trying to get on the demon…pushing himself harder, straining himself. This snagged something inside Jared, pulling it to the surface. All he knew in that moment was righteous fury. How dare fate keep throwing obstacles at them? The Winchesters have been sacrificing all their lives, and that should be enough. Why did Sam keep finding reasons to use his powers? Was he _trying_ to turn? And how the hell was he getting stronger?!

Xander cried out, ripping himself away from Jared. Fire licked at his hands, blistering the skin all the way up to his wrists. Jared wasn't one to let opportunity pass him by, scrambling away desperately. Xander roared, eyes blazing crimson as he seized the boy's wrist and pulled. Something popped and tore, but the fire came back and he had to release him again. The actor got to his feet, getting out of arm-shot.

The others were struck dumb, unsure what just happened. The demon clutched at his hands, rage and pain on his face. Jensen shook it off fast, approaching the demon from the right with his shotgun. As Sam pulled his lover up into his arms, Dean mirrored the Texan's movements.

Xander huffed a nervous laugh, hand shooting out. Sam was ripped from Jared's hands, flying backwards towards the trees. His back struck bark, knocking the air from his lungs and cutting into his skin. He hit the ground, a little more than dazed and confused. That wasn't fair! If he couldn't throw the demon, he shouldn't be able to get thrown either! And here he thought he was so strong…

Sam tried to sit up, but a heavy weight settled down on his chest. His eyes widened, but he couldn't move an inch otherwise. There was a…a binding feeling in his gut. It was the demon blood, and every bead of blood was like lead in his veins. He was being held down, demon to demon.

Dean let off two rounds, striking the demon in the chest…but Sam still couldn't move. The skin around the wounds sizzled, but the shells fell out as the flesh healed itself. They fired from both sides, Xander swayed but the outcome was the same. The demon's eyes scorched brightly, body healing itself with only holes in his clothes to show their effort. Two pairs of jade eyes shared frightened looks, minds quick.

Silver bullets did nothing. They had to get to the salt and the gallon of holy water in the trunk, minimal rituals just weren't going to cut it. Dean started spouting off as many exorcism spells as he knew, a mix of Arabic and Latin rolling off his tongue. Xander just seemed to grow more annoyed at this, advancing on the hunter like a jungle cat.

"I'll shut you up, Winchester" Xander hissed "I'll pluck that cursed, quick-silver tongue right of your-!"

Xander froze when the sound of creaking metal reached his ears, turning to find Jensen rummaging through the Impala's trunk. Jared's long frame was collapsed in the grass, injured arm cradled to his abdomen. The demon clicked his tongue, turning back to the older Winchester with an amused expression on his face. The charred skin on his hands slowly mended itself, raw skin knitting back together and closing his abrasions.

"How sweet" Xander raised a hand, catching the hunter by the neck and raising him into the air "Self sacrifice…oh, how you little ones charm me…you always have, you know."

"You're not special" Dean spat out, kicking against the ground for purchase "Just another demon…we're gonna send you back to-"

"What, Dean? _Hell_?" Xander laughed, a sultry sound with a grin too handsome to be the face of something so wicked "Well, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you? Only a righteous man can start the Apocalypse…only one who can be tainted can destroy the world he holds dear."

Dean started to go cold, the sickly sweet coo overwhelming his senses. He gasped and fought, but he could feel something clawing at his heart. Xander's eyes glowed brighter, all burnt umber shades gone from the orbs. The closer the demon advanced, the more out of control he felt. The tips of his fingers and toes went numb, the heels of his feet now touching the ground. The bright spots that danced in front of his eyes had nothing to do with loss of oxygen, and that scared him more than anything else.

Xander's mental grip kept him in place, but his physical hand reached up and laced in his hair.

"…no, y-you son-of-a-bitch…"

That kiss would kill him.

Jensen knew they couldn't go on any longer, "Castiel! Get your angel ass down here now and…and…"

The dark clouds that had hung over them all day seemed to gather with a single gust of wind, clotting. Xander jerked away from Dean, looking up at the sky and cursing in some language that stung their ears. The trees danced with the motion, grass ruffling around Jared and Sam. It seemed to go on forever, but it only took a second.

A lone strike of lightening came down from the sky, white hot and single minded.

Xander's body thrust forward, the bolt going right through his chest. There was no sound after the resounding crack, sending the demon nearly on his toes. From what they could see through squinted eyes, the bolt struck the blackness of the true form of the demon down into the ground.

Then it was gone, just as soon as if not sooner then it started. The clouds dissolved away, though the ground smoked with it's after effects. The grass was charred, bare in a single spot. The vessel stood there on his feet, back bowed and staring blankly up at the sky. He looked unharmed, now all innocent doe eyes and trembling lower lip. He stumbled backward, shaking hand coming up to his forehead. He gave a weak groan and muttered something about '_Twinkies_' and '_Oz_', then collapsed onto the ground like a sack of grain.

Sam gasped suddenly, the heavy weight lifting from his chest. He sat up, rubbing the ache from his limbs. He hadn't known he could be bound down by his own power…he was still so weak…

The grass was cool beneath Jared's arms, beneath his forehead…he gave a sigh as the pain receded.

Dean sputtered and dropped to the ground, concentrating on just _breathing_. The warmth returned back to his body so fast it hurt, scorching his fingertips. He shook himself like a dog, cursing their foolishness. Of course it had been a trap! Of course Xander had been more powerful than he let on! He hadn't been just another creepy incubus, the bastard was a hybrid of good stock and had power to spare.

Tan cloth brushed the edges of his vision. Dean looked up, finding none other than Castiel there. The angel looked concerned and so…noble, yet fatigued. He looked over Xander's sleeping vessel, then the ash stained dirt that showed the demon was dead.

"Did you do that?"

Castiel didn't even nod, "I eliminated the threat to my charge…_charges_."

Jensen ran over, gratitude in his eyes, "What did you do?"

True affection showed on the angel's face when he looked at Jensen, "He's gone into Oblivion, never to return. I got here as soon as I could, he was trying to block your signal from me or I would've been right by your side. I'm glad you're ok, my dearest one."

Jensen wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck, murmuring his appreciation. Castiel's eyes widened, hesitating for only a moment before he returned the hug. Such a human gesture, a human emotion. Compassion, relief, receptivity. All parts of being human, all parts that Castiel found himself feeling.

The display made Dean sick to the core.

"Jared?" Sam walked over, kneeling at the man's side. Jared gave him a grin, sitting up and leaning into the hunter's chest. "Are you ok?"

"Better than I was doing there for a while" Jared admitted, the burning pain on his back now gone. His arm throbbed and hurt like a mother fucker, but it was worth it. He felt like whatever spring had been coiling inside him had been sprung, liberation flowing in his veins…lacing with his blood and warming him like a

good scotch.

"He's dead…he's dead, did you see it?"

"Yeah" Sam ran a hand down his lover's back "I'm sorry I couldn't…do more."

Jared's gaze turned hard, "You did all you should've done."

"I have to go" Castiel pulled away from his charge, smoothing his hair "I've got to report my actions and return Xander's vessel to his rightful place. Go to the nearest motel, bed down there."

Jensen started to protest, "Cass, we can't. That thing…it burned when it touched Jared! Was that you or-?"

"Hush" Castiel dropped a kiss on the man's brow, cupping his head between his palms and catching his gaze "Listen to me. I'll be back to explain everything, but right now you need to get out of here. Trust me, Jensen Ross…as you always have."'

Jensen shut his mouth and nodded, obedient as a pup.

Castiel looked grateful, even through his obvious exhaustion did his azure eyes illuminate. He left the actor's side, barely sparing the hunter on his knees a glance. He knelt down by Xander's vessel's side, putting two fingers to his forehead like he would put him to sleep. They were gone with only a flutter of wings, not a trace of them left being but the charred grass.

"I think he popped my arm out of place" Jared whined softly, feeling the tendons pull when he moved the limb backwards.

"Come on, you" Sam lifted his lover into his arms, ignoring the squawk of protest the man emitted. But Jared calmed down, the raw strength of the hunter settling him down as he was taken to the car.

Jensen held out a hand to Dean, "You ok?"

Dean grunted, taking the hand and getting to his feet easily, "Yeah, you?"

"Fine" Jensen gave a tittering laugh "A little shaken, but good. We should, uh…do what Castiel said. Find the closest motel and settle down for the night."

Dean made a face, "Yeah, wouldn't want to disobey Thursday's angel, now would we?"

Jensen gave his lover a strange look as he walked away, unsure if he had done something wrong or not.

//Please, Dean…please don't start something. If not for yourself, then for me.//

_**TBC**_

_**All about us**_


	28. Chapter 28

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {28-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam, whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

"Filming will be starting soon" Jared read the text message from Kripke, scowling "He wants us back in a month and a half, about 40 days."

"Damn" Jensen was in front of the mirror, noting the dark circles under his eyes and wondering if the make-up people were going to kill him.

"Well, we know it wouldn't last forever" Dean was leaning in the open doorway and watching the sun touch the horizon, a chilled beer curled in his fingers "Eventually we were going to kill Xander -_the son of a bitch, may he rot in Hell_- we're too good not to."

"I was just getting used to having you around" Sam purred, Jared between his legs and his own long limbs wrapped around the actor like a Winchester-octopus "It was good…not to be alone."

"And it was exciting to fight monsters" Jensen turned, looking amused "It's awesome to shoot ghosts and hunt down faerie, travel. I think I could do this for a living."

"Oh, _hell_ no" Dean bit off, nose scrunched "There's no way! You're going straight back to your Hollywood lifestyle, and you two are going to act and party and be God-damn _spoiled_. Have a demon-free life."

"I'm afraid it's impossible at this point."

Castiel appeared outside, hands in his coat pockets and face set in a neutral expression. Dean immediately scowled, fingers clenching around his beer defensively. Jensen looked cautiously between the two, hoping beyond hope that they wouldn't cause a scene like every time before.

"Castiel" Jensen tried not to sound timid "You're back to explain?"

"Yes, to check on you" Castiel informed them "And to say it would be…_best_ if you four tried to stay together for as long as possible."

"Why?" Dean cut in sharply.

"It seems that another side affect from the soul-blending has shown itself. While you are together, you draw off each other's energy. Your skills, your strength, your very _power_ increases" Castiel explained calmly "As Jared and Jensen may have realized, they've picked up on hunting skills quicker than most."

"They have good teachers" Dean scowled, sizing up the angel.

"How's your arm, Jared?" Castiel looked over the boy, glad to see he had his color back and seemed content wrapped in his lover's embrace.

"Getting better, I can move it fine" Jared's smile was weak, his nerves were just about shot "But I'd like to know what happened back there in that fight, what with the glowing and burning and all."

Dark jade narrowed at Castiel when the angel only pursed his lips and looked away, "You said you were here to explain. If not, then why the hell even show up?"

"I am not supposed to discuss such things" Castiel admitted reluctantly "What with all the fighting…I'm afraid I have not sought out Revelation for further orders."

"Jen?" Dean set down his beer, grabbing his keys. He walked up to Jensen, leaning in intimately and cupping their palms to pass the keys. "Go down to the Wal-Mart for me and pick up two more medical supply kits. We're running low. Take Jay with you, 'kay?"

"Yeah, Jen" Jared eased out of his lover's arms, walking over to them "I already know what we need more of, anyway."

"I'm not going to be dismissed like a child" Jensen muttered, the ice-cold of the keys biting into his palm "I want to stay…I have to learn what happened today…and you two have to quit fighting."

"And we will" Dean assured quickly, lacing a hand in light brunette hair and bringing him in for a quick kiss "But can you do this for me? I'm only going to get all protective and offensive if you're here."

"Grizzly man" Jensen teased him, cursing their inch height difference before he stole a longer kiss "I get to take the Impala?"

"I trust you with her, my two precious possessions" Dean's lips curled in a smile, just before he stepped back and let Jared take his lover out the door. Jensen paused briefly by Castiel, touching his shoulder. Castiel gave him an easy smile, reaching up and letting the back of his fingers brush the boy's cheek. The actor smiled so sweetly at this, then left with Jared to the car.

Once the Impala was gone down the road, Dean's smile fell and his features hardened. Blazing jade orbs locked on Castiel as the angel slipped into the room, calm except for the tension in his shoulders.

"If there's something you want to say, do it now" Castiel stated.

Dean's mind was whirring. All he could see was Jensen throwing his arms around Castiel, the pure relief and admiration in his eyes. Through a red haze he could still see Castiel calling his lover '_my dearest one_' and dropping kiss on his face, smoothing his hair, Jensen smiling. Jared had tried to explain it to the brothers when this all first started, but it was just to _unreal_. Castiel was Jensen's guardian angel. Jensen had been attacked by demons before.

Before all these hunts, before they even met.

He had tried to accept and understand their fucked up relationship before, it was so hard to wrap his mind around it. Dean had even tried to joke it off, but Bobby had ruined his try at it. He didn't even know them, and Bobby had drawn that the conclusion that they were fucking. How often did you see Angel/Charge porn on the internet anyway? Too much. He knew Castiel visited Jensen when Dean wasn't around, talking privately about and _doing_ only God knows what. It wasn't fair, that Castiel got to have something so deep with Jensen. The jealousy was hot between them, Dean was a selfish man when it came to his boy.

Not his Jensen…Dean was there to protect him now.

"I don't like the way you look at him."

Castiel seemed taken aback, "You _what_?"

"You heard me" Dean barked, fists clenched at his sides as he turned to glower at the angel "Jensen is mine now. Whatever you're trying to pull, it won't work. He _loves_ me. You stay the hell out of this, Castiel. _I'm_ going to protect Jen now."

Castiel slowly put it together, disbelief blooming on his face, "Do you really think I'm trying to take him from you?"

"Oh, you were all _over_ each other" Dean spat, disgusted at the images that kept playing in his head "You're not taking him from me!"

"I am his _guardian_!" Castiel raised his voice, becoming more than angry when he realized what the hunter was implicating "I have known Jensen Ross since he was a babe, barely to my hip. I have cared and watched over him as if he were my own, guiding and encouraging him. I've held him when he cried and made sure he didn't get himself killed, like most teenage boys! How _dare_ you, Dean Winchester!"

Dean scoffed rudely, "How _dare_ I? Oh, I dare, man!"

"Stop it, the both of you!" Sam stood from his place on the bed, sick and tired of this "It's great you're fighting out of a mutual love for Jensen and all, but you're still _fighting_. If you two can't settle this like adults, I'll…I'll…I'll just send Jensen back to Vancouver and _neither _of you can see him!"

They just looked at him, half-frightened and half-scolded.

Castiel clenched his eyes shut for a moment, desperately regaining his angelic composure. He cocked his head to the side, as if praying for strength.

_God…grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference…_

When he opened his azure-grey eyes, they were intense.

"If you think I'm so cruel as to take part of your soul from you, then why did I feed young Jensen stories of you?" Castiel's lips quirked in amusement, Dean seemed severely thrown off by his statement "I did. When he was a young boy, I put him to sleep every night with stories of The Winchester Brothers. At first they were made up, for you were both young then, but as you hunted I started relaying your victories and fallouts."

Castiel rubbed at his mouth, lost in thought, "Even when he was a boy, he would inquire after you. Out of all the characters in those stories, Dean Winchester was the only one he worried and cheered for. Even at the tender age of ten, he was madly in love with you."

Dean couldn't help the warmth that bloomed in his chest, "Did you tell him about the soul thing?"

"When he was thirteen, he demanded to know why he had an empty feeling in his chest. Such a smart little boy…" Castiel looked away for only a moment, then caught Dean's eye "I treated him like an adult. I told him all of how Hecate -_less a Goddess, more a troubling Higher Being_- decided to take it upon herself to help The Winchester Brothers. He soaked in every word, and knew one day he would meet you and help you every way he could. He even knew, as a teenage boy, that he may grow to fall in love with you."

Dean was almost afraid to ask, "And how did he feel about that? Being a Texas boy and all…"

Castiel's smile was radiant, "He was excited."

Sam's lips pursed, "So you told Jensen all about us…yet you left Jared in the dark?"

Castiel bristled defensively, "Something unforeseen happened with Jared, it was an accident."

"It has something to do with what happened with Xander, doesn't it?" Sam advanced slowly, eyes flashing "Jared can do things we can't, things even _I _can't. He entered Faerie, he touched a ghost, he _burned_ my fingers when I tried to force a touch on him."

Sam pointedly ignored his brother's surprised look.

"Is there something wrong with him?" Sam growled "What did you angels _do _to him?"

"Calm, Samuel" it was a warning, Castiel held out a hand defensively. Sam recalled what happened last time he tried to take on an angel, and reined himself in immediately.

Sam sighed slowly, "Just…tell me what happened to Jay."

"There _was_ an angel assigned to Jared" Castiel explained, seeming reluctant "They told us that it didn't matter, but I believe the effects have shown themselves and you should know. When Jared was still small, not even able to walk yet, a demon attacked him in his crib. The angel -_Horatio_- defended Jared with his life. Truly, in all sense of the words. Horatio died there in that room…but…"

"No" Dean shook his head, pressing his palm into his forehead "Don't tell me this, not again. Don't tell me that Jared…Jared is…"

"No, the demon did not touch Jared like that horrid thing Azazel did to your brother" Castiel had an emotion in his eyes that might have been sympathy "Jared absorbed Horatio's dying essence, taking it into himself. And when the demon tried to kill him, the babe glowed and the demon was consumed in purifying light. By the time I got away from Jensen and there to help, all I saw was the ash on the floor and the faintest of light surrounding Jared."

"So Sam gets infected by a demon and Jared gets blessed by an angel?" Dean almost sounded as if he were in pain "For one soul, their lives aren't keeping up."

"It allowed Jared to stay on his own with only minor protection" azure-grey eyes fell on dark hazel, Sam straightening at the look "You have such a powerful being for a soulmate, Samuel. I suggest you be oh-so-careful with yourself around him."

Dean's eyes darted between the two, "Why wouldn't he be careful?"

Castiel kept his expression neutral, "The demon in Sam wouldn't react well to the angel in Jared."

"Does he know?" Sam chewed his lower lip, eyes straying to the far wall in contemplation.

"No" the angel admitted "No one was sure how to approach him with the subject. It was not my place. Father wanted you four kept apart for as long as possible, he didn't want you vulnerable."

"We saw how well that worked out" Dean huffed "So what are you saying? Jared's…Holy?"

"Half-angel" Castiel admitted, looking concerned "The boy's power has been more restless now that he's been around all of _this_. Demons activate his sleeping power, the soul of my brother. And now that Samuel has so taken it upon himself to flaunt his blood freely, Jared is as restless as ever."

"Whoa, you can't blame it all on me!" Sam held up a hand in protest, ire still fresh in him "I wasn't the one who couldn't protect Jared as a baby! I didn't start this!"

"The hell you didn't!" Dean sneered at his brother "You've been treating him more like a _battery_ than you have a lover, Sam. Now I know why he charges you…because your demon's getting a kick out of fucking an angel!"

"That's not…" Sam sighed threw his nose, chest heaving. He couldn't right out say that it was wrong, that he would never do such a thing. But there had always been something…_something_ about having Jared beneath his body, pinned down by pure muscle and flesh. Writhing, mewling, begging him…moaning for more, pinning down Jared's wrists and feeling the tendons strain beneath his fingertips.

Something about his sweet voice, _"God, Sam! Yes! Harder…oh God, please…"_

Sam shook himself from his thoughts, face stained scarlet at the road his mind had taken.

"What should we do?" Dean inquired, looking only at the angel now "How should we tell him?"

"Carefully" Castiel drew the word out, letting it roll on his tongue "I don't think it would be wise to through it all at him at once. Ease him into it, show him he has a purpose and that God _tried_ to protect him. He can't feel like he's being punished or cursed…I could stay, if you wish."

"He won't believe us otherwise" Dean drawled, heading to the mini-fridge "I need another beer, man."

_**TBC**_

_**We'll run away if we must**_


	29. Chapter 29

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {29-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, SPOILERS!!!!

As soon as Jensen and Jared entered the room the tension nearly choked them. The older actor dropped the Wal-Mart bag by the door, his eyes dancing between his lover and his guardian angel. Neither looked injured, but weighted down by something not completely physical. Sam looked completely consumed, though by what neither could pinpoint one exact emotion.

Jensen opened his mouth to speak, but Dean gestured him closer. He obeyed, knowing the intense attention wasn't for him. He took his place by the older Winchester's side, a warm hand on his lower back the only thing that grounded him. He knew right then everything was about to change, for the better…

Well, he just couldn't say.

Jared closed the door behind him, the first leaf-like tremors working though his limbs. Sam was looking at him with a raw fascination, as if seeing him for the first time. Dean seemed discontent, but kept his jaw firmly shut. Castiel's intense lapis eyes were upon him, unraveling every bit of nerve he possessed. It was a little overwhelming…the spot between his shoulder blades began to tingle. He quickly chalked it up to phantom pain, unwilling to travel down that road again.

"Jared" Castiel held out a hand, beckoning him closer "Come here. We have…much to discuss."

Jared obeyed reluctantly, "He's not coming back, is he? You did _kill _Xander, didn't you?"

"Yes, but this is about you" Castiel assured him, taking him by the elbow and leading him to the bed "Please…sit down."

"Christ, this is bad, isn't it?" no sooner did the words spill from his lips did he realize what he said, clapping a hand over his mouth "Shit, I didn't mean…uh, sorry?"

Castiel waved it off, "It's alright, Jared."

"No it isn't!" Jared huffed "It's bad enough I still say shit like that while knowing God exists, let alone…I mean, you're an _angel_!"

"Hush" Castiel knelt before him like a knight, staring up into his eyes with a gentle-passive look on his face "Jared…you must know that God loves you. You are His child, and his love is infinite. You must know that…He would not punish you for something so trivial."

Nile green eyes narrowed thoughtfully, "I know."

"Good" Castiel's tongue flicked over his lower lip, a too human sign of nervousness for one angel "When you were but a baby, Jared…there _was_ an angel assigned to you."

"Really?" Jared's eyes lit up "Who was it? Where is he? Why didn't he-?"

Castiel held up a hand, silencing him.

"He was my brother, a dear friend…he was called Horatio" Castiel began, a brief shade of grief in his eyes "We were assigned together, a pair for the two of you. He was much more wise than I, born decades upon decades before myself. He was…very excited for the mission. He hadn't walked upon the earth in centuries, he had forgotten the danger."

Jared winced at this, but didn't speak.

"A demon came for you when you were not even a year old, his cowardice led him to your cribside in the middle of the night. Of course, Horatio appeared to protect you…" Castiel reached out, taking the actor's hand and lacing their fingers.

Jared jerked and gasped, the pain in his arm disappearing as tendons healed themselves.

"How did you…?"

"He fought for you, Jared, know that" Castiel's voice was firm "He would have won, but Horatio forgot that demons were horrible and would lower themselves to any means to satisfy their greed. I've never found out how, but the demon…bound my brother within his human vessel. No one knew anything was wrong, not even I."

Castiel squeezed his hand, "Horatio was stabbed to death like a mortal man there in front of you."

Jared thought he knew where this was going, "Don't tell me this. If this story ends like Sam's…don't…"

"No, no…sweetest Jared" Castiel raised his free hand, taking the boy's cheek in his palm "The demon never touched you. My brother did something no other has done before…he gave you the power to take care of yourself. He complete his mission…by leaking his Grace. You seemed to…_absorb_ his essence into yourself. When I arrived, you had purified the demon."

Jared choked, "I…I couldn't have…"

"It is why all these things have been happening to you, because of what you are" Castiel's tone begged him to understand, dropping his hand from his face "You _touched_ a ghost, soothing him with your voice. You entered Faerie when the others failed to. It's what all those creatures could sense in you, they can see it around you like a shield. It's why you weren't bombarded with demons like my Jensen was, like the Winchesters were. This power inside you is why you can melt candle holders, burn demons, burn _Samuel_ if you so wish it…why Xander's hands flamed at the touch of you. It is why you could wrap your hand around Dean's throat and he not stop you, he _knew_ you would not hurt him. When Sam uses his demon blood, it is the reason you flinch and feel so _livid_."

Jared closed his eyes briefly, "And Amber…?"

"You stopped a soul from destroying innocent lives" Castiel assured him "She was so angry, and you were the only one who could help her. Her soul was drawn down to you…and you put her into Peace. You guided a soul onto the next life, Jared. It is what you are destined for, it is a gift from God."

"It's a curse" Jared spat, tossing the angel's hand away. He stood, pushing his way past the others. He stormed over to the far wall, arms crossed over his chest and head ducked. His shoulder blades were burning, and now the true nature of the pain scared him. Castiel's words seemed to explain it all…but…he couldn't be an _angel_. Out of all the things he'd done in his life, all the people he'd…

Jared couldn't be an angel, he just…_couldn't_.

Being a demon would have been more accurate.

"What does this…" Jared raised his head, blinking back tears and clearing his throat like he was choking on his words "What does this make me?"

Dean spoke up, "Half-angel."

"_Half_…?" Jared couldn't even get out the rest of the words, unable to even think it. He stared up at the ugly motel wallpaper, following the swirls of the cheap design idly. This couldn't be real, there was no way. Angel's were righteous and pure…like Castiel. They were beautiful and flawless, perfect Soldiers of the Almighty. Jared had never even believed in God until a few months ago.

"God has never wanted me before" Jared half-turned, giving the angel a filthy look "My whole life I've never felt or done _anything_ like this. Why is all this starting now?"

"Samuel, has…jump-started my brother's instincts inside of you" Castiel rose from his knees gracefully "It's awoken the angel, as well as your recent encounters with the supernatural. That's why you've been at unease for so long."

"So _what_ if I've done all those things?" Jared snapped, going on defense "It could be nothing, all flukes! You don't know all the things I've done in my life! I'm an _actor_, not an Angel of the Lord."

There was a pulse of relief down his spine, a part of the pain unknotting itself.

Sam swallowed thickly, "Oh Jared…"

Jared's brow creased, "What?"

Castiel's lips curled, "Do you not feel it?"

The actor stared down at his hands, panicking, "Am I glowing?"

Jensen was clinging to his lover in a near painful way, "…oh my God…"

A sick feeling settled in Jared's gut, he knew what they saw. He carefully looked over his shoulder, eyes widening comically. Shadows on the wall…they protruded from his back, extending along the entire length of wall. Wings shadows…though smaller in comparison to those of Castiel. Jared released a whimper, ripping his eyes away from the sight as if it burned him.

They were gone in a flash, the Heavens opening outside and pouring forth their remorse upon the Earth. The rain broke up the shadows on the wall, the wing forms disappearing. Jared shoved down the power, the frightening force that threatened to consume him. He couldn't accept it…not now, not ever. He didn't deserve such an honor, he didn't deserve such a curse.

"Let me sleep on it" Jared rasped, tongue dry "I can't deal with it all right now."

"Of course" Castiel stepped back, a physical sign to show he wouldn't push such an issue "Rest, all of you…you deserve it."

Thunder rolled outside, the angel disappeared with a flutter of shadow.

Sam advanced on his lover, "An angel…_damn_, Jay."

Jared flinched away from the taller man's arms, he couldn't bear his touch right now. Sam watched his lover all but duck into the corner, as if the last thing he wanted was to be near him. It hurt the Winchester's heart, but he couldn't fight him.

"I'm tired" Jared bit out, barely contained in his own skin "Can we just…sleep?"

"We're all tired, Jare" Jensen nodded, trying to comply to his best friend's decision to shove it all down. If he was going slather on the denial and forget it, they would too. At least until morning…then they would all have to face it.

You couldn't ignore the Almighty…he tended to get pissed.

()

The rain pitter-pattered upon the motel, plummeting the roof and pavement. It was a cleansing rain, washing away the past sins of such a place. It ran the lingering grease and _other_ fluid down storm drains, flaking off all the loose paint that clung to the walls. The classic car in the parking lot got a good rinsing, dark paint gleaming in the catch of street lights.

Jared lay on one of the cheap motel beds, flat on his stomach and beneath the covers. He caressed his Cartier bracelet with a genuine fondness, wrists crossed beneath the pillow. He was cold, the deep kind of wintry feeling that stung your bones. Between nightmares and ghosts, he was always so _cold_. Through the heat that was supposed to cling to western states, the chill always found him at night. The rain echoed above his head, the rhythm constant but uneven.

Jared had been wide awake for the past two hours, long after the others had gone to sleep. He kept fiddling with his bracelet, his eyes flickering every so often to it's mate that rested around his lover's wrist. His mind wouldn't shut up, no matter how much he willed it to. He kept mulling over his life, sifting through the mulch and detritus with desperate hands. What had he done for this? After everything he'd done in his life, the shadow of wings should not have appeared on that wall.

There are things he'd done that he had never told anyone. Things his own mother didn't know about him…things Jensen and the Winchesters would never suspect him of. Surely Castiel knew? Did Castiel not see…did no one see?

When Jared turned seventeen, his father cut his allowance off and told him to start looking for a job and an apartment. Jared was literally thrown out of his own home, the streets of Texas rough for a young boy. He couldn't make enough money to put down a minimum payment on even the crappiest apartment, not with the odd jobs he could get without his diploma. He slept out of his truck for two weeks before he came up with a solution.

He was pretty enough…and men got desperate for a bit of forbidden between work hours and supper time.

Jared got lost for an entire year among seedy clubs and bathroom stalls, on his knees for men he'd never know the names or faces of. Some were professional, most were just rough. It was a sad time in his life when he wished for nothing more than a meek client who just wanted to get lost for an hour. One hundred bucks a fuck, forty for a blowjob. He made good money, and acquired some serious skills _very_ quickly (only the rare client liked virgin-acts.) Jared even picked up several female clients. Those cougars were always the worst. The housewives who invited him into their homes for a raunchy dominant kick before dumping a handful of bills into his lap and kicking him out.

Even when he saved up enough to go to LA and get an apartment, he couldn't pull himself away from that kind of life. As he got small acting and modeling jobs, he no longer needed to hand himself out for money. Instead…he started doing it for free. It eased the loneliness in his heart when he was in a stranger's lap, a hard cock or soft breasts pressed against him. He used to go to more than three clubs a night, getting into as many people as people. Meaningless strangers…that's the touch he had craved. People who took him at face value and wanted exactly what he wanted. Maybe he did it for control, maybe knowing that he could wind up someone and leave them had been a kink of his for a while there.

_God_…Jared groaned softly and buried his head in the pillow. He hadn't been old enough for those clubs! A right touch and an eye flutter had him in, that or sneaking in with a group of people. It was never perfect, never what he truly craved. But he just kept passing himself around among the faceless, smiling people in hopes one day his hunger would be satisfied. It never was. It had always ended the same. He would end up staggering back to his apartment, reeking of sex and booze. Ruffled clothes, blood shot eyes staring back at him in the bathroom mirror…pathetic.

He'd been tied up, licked, fucked every which way and bent over every surface you could think of.

Then he got an agent who told him right out that if he continued this kind of lifestyle he would never get a good role. It took almost two years, but he quit that kind of life like a nicotine addiction. He started getting better roles, appearing on TV for real. _Gilmore Girls_ came around, then movies, and soon enough…

He met Sam, and that started a whole 'nother story.

Jared eased out of bed, mindful of his sleeping lover. He started pulling on one of his "certain" outfits, keeping his eye son his hands or on the floor. Jared couldn't even look at Sam, not with the knowledge of what he was about to do. But he had to force himself for one second, just one last thing. Jared hovered over the bed, brushing copper strands out of the taller man's face before dropping a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm no angel…" Jared murmured into his skin "…and you're not a demon."

He would show Castiel he wasn't an angel, he would show them all. He was limited, unfit to bear wings. He had hoped to hide his past, to bury the creature that lived inside him…but he had to prove they were lying. There was a mistake, that was all. He was probably just channeling Sam's power, like static discharge from their connection. The shadow's were a trick of the light, that ghost had been wrong.

"_You're a…you're an angel, aren't you? Come to punish me?"_

"_I didn't want to hurt anyone, Angel of Mercy, I swear!"_

Jared slipped out of the room, determination etched into his eyes.

He would show God he was wrong, even if no one else would.

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya knowIt's all about us (It's all about us)**_


	30. Chapter 30

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {30-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: This is kind of a callback to when Sam was just psychic and not demon-y.**)**

Sam awoke suddenly, groaning at the pain that flashed through his head. He sat up in the empty motel bed, panting hard through his nose in an effort to suppress the agony and clapping a palm to his forehead. Flashes of images…too wide smiles, booze, dim lights, red leather. A pulse of pain followed each scene, making it hard to concentrate on them. He grasped blindly with his free hand, searching for his lover.

"Jared…" it was a strangled whisper, but he was nowhere.

Panic laced with the vision, "Dean!?"

Dean awoke the next bed, gasping hoarsely at his brother's call. Jensen shifted and woke up as well when the older Winchester rolled out of bed, pulling on his jeans before running to his brother's side.

"Sam?" Dean knelt on the mattress, keeping some distance but close enough to help if reached "What is it?"

"Vision" Sam shook his head "A bar…that obscure one we passed on the way here…"

Jensen sat up, rubbing at his eyes, "Where's Jay?"

Dean jolted, realizing the younger man wasn't there for the first time.

"He's gone" Sam cracked open his eyes, looking pissed "I think he's…he's at the bar. We need to get to him. _Right_. _Now_."

"Ok, Sammy, yeah" Dean got off the bed, voice calm. He saw the possessiveness taking over his brother in just a few moments, every muscle strung tight like he was barley holding back physical bouts of anger. Dean walked over and nudged his lover out of bed, whispering softly that they should just go along for the ride so nothing horrible happened. Jensen nodded and got out of bed, reaching for his duffle to dress.

Sam got to his feet and started pulling on his clothes, the pain of vision fading as the images sharpened. If what he saw was true…Sam nearly ripped the denim of his jeans as his pulled them up to his hips. He hoped beyond hope that what he saw wasn't true, he couldn't guarantee the safety of that bar if it was. He was nearly seeing through a claret haze as he snatched the keys of the Impala off the table, barking out that he would be driving.

Dean and Jensen shared nervous look, _oh shit_.

()

Sam pulled the Impala as close to the front of the bar as he could get, graceful through his ire. Dean sighed in relief from the passenger seat, rubbing his temple. The night was a bright one, even through the rain. The moon was full and heavy behind the clouds, illuminating the depths of their shades. The bar had no neon signs, no real marks of identification other than a Latin scripture on the door that roughly translated into "_Drink and be free_."

Jensen squirmed in the back seat, anxious.

"You know what this means" the actor stated "When a bar looks like this…it means _anything goes_."

"I _know_" Sam bit out, knuckles turning white on the steering wheel before falling away. The rain pelted the hood, filling their ears with white noise. There was a brief calm, a sense of disconnectivity from the rest of the world. But the younger man broke it soon enough, pushing open the driver's door and slipping out.

All three ran threw the rain, darting under the mini-roof over the bar's door like mice. Sam knocked twice on the door, then three more brisk knocks. He paused for two beats, then struck the wood with his palm. The door swung open obediently, the older men giving him strange looks.

"Vision, remember?"

They entered the bar, but it wasn't really that.

It looked just like a waiting room, though it was thrown in pitch and covered in black velvet. A pair of young girls were squirming on one of the thee sofas, a largish woman standing over them checking their ID's. She barked something at them in Romanian, and they stuttered something back in Spanish. A large violet curtain took up a door-size shape on the wall, thick music leaking past it's folds. The door shutting behind them to reveal a large bouncer, thick-necked and black-skinned. He looked them over, then parted the curtain and gestured inside.

The bar was revealed to them, but only Jensen seemed surprised. The light was grey, streaked with blue and red strobe lights from the ceiling. Almost an entire wall was taken up by a rosewood bar counter, black stools occupied by lone drinkers or couples with their heads together. A busty woman near the end turned down at least three drinks from young men, eyeing a lonely girl in a halter top near her instead.

The rest of the walls were lined with garnet leather booths, filled with people of all ages. Playboy bunnies slithered around men like snakes…coaxing drink after drink out of their wallets. Boys much too young not to be tucked into bed were taking down rows of shots and getting their asses groped by appreciative patrons. The music was heavily based, thrumming through the floor and the up their legs…it suspiciously like a DJ mix of "Eyes Like Yours" by that Shakira performer who wouldn't be anything without her belly-dancing skills and a "Lollipop" cover by what Dean would guess was Framing Haley.

There was a hall towards the back. Probably fitted with rooms for more intimate pleasure, people going in and out like bees with honey and chocolate smeared skin.

Jensen plastered himself to Dean's side, "What kind of place is this?"

The strange fascination in his lover's voice didn't help his nerves, "What you said it was, Jen. An _anything_ _goes_ bar."

"There" Sam spat.

And _there_ was right.

Jared seemed to be entertaining an entire booth of people. He was in a corner booth, and even in the dim lights you could see his radiant smile and the leers of those he had surrounded himself with. Those black jeans were form fitting, his shirt was a dark red number that clung invitingly to his chest and waist. Fingerless gloves graced his hands, currently curled around a harsh looking drink. They advanced on the table, weaving through the gyrating crowd in the middle of the bar.

A woman pressed herself up along his side, ruby lips bussing his ear as fiery wisps tickled his face. Jared whispered something to her, his hand falling from his drink to her thigh. Sam watched in horror as his lover's hand slipped deeply under the material of her mauve skirt, her lips now parting in a moan before his fingers reappeared. They glistened in the multi-light, Jensen thought he would be ill at the sight. The man on the other side of Jensen stole his attention, placing a flat palm on the actor's stomach and attaching his mouth to his neck. He was all slick black hair and olive skin, pretty lips kneading at the actor's slick throat.

Jared leaned into the touch, the sleazy guy's hand going down his torso. With one smooth motion, Jared was whisked up into the guy's lap. The booth around him cheered, toasting and gulping down their drinks at the display. Jared was grinding down into the man, running his hands down the man's sides and causing him to tremble. They started to really get into it, thick palms dipping under the honey haired man's shirt and exposing his bare back with a few strokes.

Sam's eyes flickered black, a few strobe lights busting quietly overhead. No one noticed except for Jensen and Dean, they both knew they had to get out of their soon before their companion lost it.

Sam stormed over to the booth, the people parting for him like water. Jared didn't seem to see him, reaching back and snagging a label-less bottle off the table and putting it to Greaseball's lips. The Winchester stayed silent as his lover poured alcohol down the man's throat, delight on his face when every offered drop was swallowed down.

"Good boy" Jared purred, rubbing against him like a cat.

"Jared!"

Jared jolted as if he had been shot, whipping his head around to meet the dark eyes of his lover. The actor was obviously drunk, swaying without the full support of Greaseball's body. The man took his hands out from under Jared's shirt but kept his arms around him, mouthing '_fuck off_' at Sam.

Sam grabbed his lover by the collar of his shirt, pulling him out of the bastard's grip, "He's mine, hands off."

The entire booth fell silent and nodded, the power behind those words palpable.

Jared didn't say a word, going limp as the hunter wrapped an arm around his waist.

()

Jensen and Dean sat in the back seat, eyes dancing between the younger men in the front. Sam drove with a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, eyes set on the road before him and generous lips pressed into a frustrated pout. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, barley a haze now. It was enough to leave everything itchy and moist, an annoyance.

Jared had kicked off his shoes and socks, curled up against the side door. He stared blankly out the window, the buzz of the alcohol fading to leave him melancholy and hollow like only alcohol could. He moved his hand up towards his chin, nearly gagging as the scent of margarita salt and sex assaulted his nose. He shed the gloves, tossing them with his shoes.

Sam scoffed, "What's wrong? Can't take the stench?"

Jared ducked his head.

"She was just _slick_ for you, wasn't she? Bet you could've had her right there and no one would have cared" Sam pushed "Wouldn't have taken much, would it? She was wet under your hand, you would have slid right in…no prep, no strings."

Jared refused to rise to the bait, swallowing down the bile in the back of his throat.

"Say something, Jared" Sam demanded gruffly, eyes still on the road "Say you hate me, say I'm an insensitive jackass, say you were just drunk. Just give me a fuckin' excuse already!"

But Jared stayed silent, curling tighter into himself.

Sam nearly growled, but didn't push anymore.

They arrived at the motel. No sooner had the engine shut off did Jensen and Dean jump out of the car, not wanting to get in the middle of whatever was going to go down. Sam unbuckled himself and slid out as well, casting his lover a look. Jared uncurled himself reluctantly, feeling more ashamed and filthier than he could ever remember. Leaving his shoes and gloves, Jared opened the door and eased out of the car. Grit bit into the tender skin of his feet, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He trudged to the room, head ducked to avoid his lover's ever-watchful gaze.

"Oh Jared."

Jared had hardly entered the room when his head shot up, eyes wide. Castiel stood there in the middle of the room, radiating discontent. Those lapis eyes were solely on him, looking as if Jared had just kicked his puppy and he couldn't understand why.

"Why were you out there?" Sam questioned, moving into the actor's line of sight "You let those people _all over _you!"

"I'm not an angel" Jared's voice was raw, looking only at Castiel "I was trying to prove that to you people."

"By going out and committing every sin you could in the span of two hours?" that was strangely close to sarcasm for the usually cynical angel "Jared…I am disappointed."

"How _dare_ you?" Jared hissed, pushing his way past his lover and getting right in the angel's face "You can't be disappointed in me for discarding virtues _I _never asked for! I'm not an angel! What can I do to prove that? Do I have to ritualistically sacrifice babies and bite the heads off bats?"

"That's no excuse!" Sam grabbed his lover's arm, turning him around "What you did…you hurt everything we are by going out and letting those people put their hands on you."

"You wanted an excuse" Jared glanced between their bonding bracelets, then threw the man's hand off him "You got it…sorry it's not the one you wanted to hear."

Sam peered into his face, "This isn't like you, Jay."

"How do you know?" bitterness laced in the man's voice "How do you know what I was like before we met? What do you know about how I got where I am? _God_, Sammy, you just have no idea about what I've done…"

Castiel cocked his head, "Do you mean when your father kicked you out? That was not your fault."

Sam looked between them, "What…?"

Jensen spoke up, "You said you lived with your aunt before you moved to LA."

Jared flinched, "I lied."

"What did you do, Jared?" the youngest Winchester inquired gently "What could have been so bad?"

"God, Sam, I was so _hungry_ all the time!" Jared's voice broke, crossing his arms and drawing in on himself "I was living out of my truck, and I couldn't get a real job…I was afraid I'd get too sick when winter rolled around…and then I realized I wasn't so bad looking…and men could get so desperate sometimes…"

It clicked for Dean first, "_Fuck_, man."

Sam looked away, unsure what to say.

Jared stepped toward him, imploring him with his eyes, "I didn't know what else to do, Sam…and I was alone. I wasn't like you, my family didn't give a shit about me."

Sam looked back at him, empathy in his eyes.

Jared bristled like a cat, almost glowing in outrage, "I don't need your God-damn pity, none of you! I did what I had to!"

Jared turned to Castiel, "You made a mistake. Take it out of me."

The angel tisked, "It does not work that way."

Jared was almost dizzy with it all, looking around desperately. He spotted Jensen, and through his alcoholic haze and hopelessness he formulated a plan. Jared walked over and seized his best friend by the arm. He didn't spare Dean a glance, giving Castiel a smug look.

"I can fuck a guy six way from Sunday, I learned some cool tricks from my Johns" Jared cocked his head arrogantly, drawing the slighter man closer "What if I have Jenny here? Wouldn't that violate some sacred rules? I bet that would piss you off enough to take this _Grace_ out of me? You know…raping your charge?"

"Jay" Jensen rasped, wide emerald looking up at him in disbelief.

"It's ok, Jenny" Jared purred, leaning in and nuzzling the curve of his ear "I'll make it _sooo_ good for you."

Jared tossed the older actor on the bed, flashing Castiel a rueful grin, "With any luck, Dean will rip the Grace out of me with his bare hands."

Desperation and adrenaline raced through his veins, replacing his blood. He crawled on top of a struggling Jensen, pinning his hips down with his own and keeping his forearms down with the flat of his palms. He'd admit it, he was sickly surprised that Dean didn't immediately bury a knife in his head at the word '_rape_', but tonight was a night for rule breaking. Jared bit at his best friend's neck, sick at the way Jensen squirmed and gave a soft whine.

He didn't want to do this…_God_, he couldn't go through with this. If he didn't throw up in the next ten seconds, he would soon after. Jared released the light haired man's right wrist, rucking up his t-shirt to his shoulder blades. He dragged his teeth down the sensitive skin, trying to be rough. He needed to be cruel, he _had_ to. An angel would never do this. Surely this would banish the idea from their minds?

He wasn't pure, he had never been pure.

Jensen froze on the bed, head turned and eyes half-shut. He forced his breaths to even out, willing himself calm. Jared bit at his skin, sending pinpricks of pain through his body. No one helped him, he didn't wish them to. Jared wasn't going to do this, they all knew it. His best friend was too soft-hearted for such a cruel act, the wickedness he was trying to portray was just that…a masquerade.

Jared's mouth touched the dip of his lower back, the teeth gone. The grip on his wrist loosened, slipping away. The very bed trembled, the smooth skin of his brow touching his back. Something cool fell on his skin, goosebumps sprouting as he shivered. A trail of wet rolled down his spine, pooling in the very dip there. It felt like…

Jared choked, more liquid spilling.

"_Jensen_."

Jensen turned on his back, finding his best friend hovering there and _crying_. Tears slicked flushed cheeks, lower lip trembling, eyes clenched shut. True remorse etched itself into ever soft line of his face, proving that he didn't have it in him to hurt someone in such a way.

"…'m sorry, Jen."

Jared crawled off him, limbs weighing like lead on his joints. The pain in his back intensified three fold, as if the things the shadows portrayed were struggling to rip out. The skin there crawled, his shoulder blades aching from the strain.

"I'm not…I can't be…"

Jared took a few steps backwards, almost collapsing against the wall. He couldn't touch the surface, his back was on fire. Castiel was before him in a moment, offering salvation in the depths of his soulful eyes.

"P-Please…"

"You have to let it go."

"I don't think I can" Jared admitted, pausing for a moment before adding "…I don't know how."

"Admit it" it wasn't quite a command, more of an invitation "Look inside yourself and _know_."

Jared exhaled shakily, "Ok. Maybe…maybe I _could_ be."

Castiel narrowed his eyes, "No maybe's…_know_."

Jared felt that warmth in the base of his heart, working out slowly. It leaked into every crevice of him like molasses, making him gasp and struggle a little. He felt it…another presence…mingled with his own, the same as his own, but much more powerful. He looked straight at Castiel, eyes lit from within at the surge.

"I _am_ an angel."

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about love (It's all about us)**_


	31. Chapter 31

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {31-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN: **I just want everyone to know that I started this story two months before Sam went all evil-demon-blood-craving-freak-out-bastard-emo in the show, ok? I really just wanted to show how power hungry Sam _could've_ gotten…but, uh, it kind of happened in the show before I could post or finish this story. So, if anything, Kripke dived into _my_ mind and stole it…or I mind-fucked him and took it. Whatever. Anyway, the evil!Sam/bloodcraving!Sam parallel to the show was an accident.**)**

* * *

No sooner did the words tumble from his lips did the pain explode along his back, a scream ripping itself from his throat. He fell forward, Castiel's arms coming around him like salvation. He shuddered once, pillowing his head on the angel's chest and fisting his hands in the cheap shirt. Castiel cooed nonsense into his hair, though Jared didn't recognize the language. The angel's hand ran through the groove of his shoulder blades, palm brushing the heated skin between them through his shirt.

The burn ripped through him, snapping the last tethers of control he had.

Jared whimpered, eyes wide open as the skin of his back split. The soft zips of flesh unraveling filled the quiet space, blood gushing to soak the already crimson material. Sam and Dean stepped forward in unison, but the raw essence of Heaven itself sent them staggering. Two protrusions rose from the constricting cloth, like hills along his back. With a grunt, the fabric ripped down the muscle. At first they looked like masses of bone and flesh, then grew out and extended.

Jensen fell off the bed, gazing upon on bended knee and dropped jaw.

Castiel smiled as the wings grew out, feathers sprouting along the new limbs. They grew out…and out…lying limply on the floor and on the actor. Jared was panting, sweating as if he had just given birth. He dipped and whispered into Jared's ear, encouraging him to use his new muscles.

With a sharp cry, the wings flexed once before unfurling out along the length of the wall. They were ivory, glowing in the dim light…the ends of the feathers touching the walls on either side. They fluttered, rustling like those of a bird. Jared groaned, they curled inward almost reflexively…keeping away from the wall.

"Oh God" Jared muttered, pulling away from Castiel. The wings weren't too heavy on his back, most likely the bones were hollow. He let out a few long breaths, swaying gently as he tried to accustom himself.

Sam felt a rush of heat in his chest, possession dark in his eyes.

This was _his_.

Dean's voice was rough, "Well _fuck_, man."

"Good, Jared, very good" Castiel crooned, the bleary eyes meeting his "Stand."

Jared shook his head, honey curls dancing over his slick forehead, "I'm not strong enough."

"You are" Castiel stood, urging the actor with a solid hand on his shoulder "Stand now, Jared…and see the Grace that has been inside you since you could walk. See for yourself that you are worthy of love, and kindness."

Jared nodded, taking a few more gulps of oxygen. He rocked back, bracing his feet on the floor. With a grunt, he got his legs beneath him and managed to stand. He wobbled like a newborn, knees groaning in protest under the ache of faded pain and new weight. The wings threw off his inner sense of balance, he nearly toppled over when they flexed without his permission.

Castiel steadied him patiently, knowing it would take a few minutes.

Some time passed. Jensen managed to get to his feet, the shock of the room dieing off as the three others just admired. Castiel led Jared by the hand, taking him over to the half length mirror behind the double desk. He stepped to the side, letting him get a clear view.

Jared gaped at himself, lips parting in a silent gasp. His wings fluttered quietly, he knew then that these things were linked directly to his emotions. His eyes seemed to cast out light the color of his irises, lit from within. With a tug, his shirt fell to the floor (it was nearly tore in two pieces.) He looked lighter, skin wise. Not sickly, but a healthy rose. His damp hair curled, kissing his face. Each strand caught the light, reflecting a thousand colors in it's honey hue.

All his petty insecurities disappeared at that moment, he looked _strong_.

Jared spun around, looking over his shoulder and adjusting his wings so he could see properly. They seemed to be an extension of his shoulder blades, taking up every inch of his lower back. There were no feathers after a certain point, soft ivory down along that juncture. He smiled at his reflection, a radiant smile he hadn't seen on himself for days. They felt so natural after the initial shock, like moving his arms. Just another muscle, just another part of him that he had never been aware of.

They were so beautiful…

"How do you feel?" Castiel inquired.

Jared stifled giggles. "Happy."

Dean whistled, "You look _fearsome_, Jay."

Jared craned his neck towards the hunter, still smiling, "I _feel_ fierce."

"This isn't going to happen randomly, is it?" Jensen piped up suddenly "We're not going to be in the middle of Wal-Mart and Jay get excited-?"

"No, little one" the angel held up a hand, lips quirking at the implied thought "The first change is the hardest for half-angel's. Afterwards, it becomes purely natural instinct. He'll be able to will the change…as he sees fit, of course."

Jared's wings flexed thoughtfully, "Are there a lot of half-angel's running around?"

"Oh no" Castiel replied "You are the first in decades…and those that came before you acquired their Grace from much more cynical methods."

No one needed to ask the question, though Sam spoke the answer aloud, "Humans would find a way to rip the angel in half, wouldn't they?"

"Through the help of demons" Castiel admitted, frowning down at the floor "I lose many brothers and sisters each decade those rituals resurface."

"This is a human anatomy conundrum" Jensen pointed out, gesturing at his best friend "The human skeleton shouldn't be able to do that…just so everyone knows."

Castiel gave the human a fond look, "You should know by now that angel's aren't bound by the same physics as humans are."

"How do I put them back?" Jared's eyelids drooped "I think…I think everything's catching up to me."

"They are yours, draw them back" the cyan eyed angel repeated "You can do with them as you please."

Jared shut his eyes, swaying on his feet as his wings trembled. They folded in tightly against his back, retracting the same way they came out. He gave a soft whimper, but the pain wasn't nearly as intense as before. It took less than a minute before the feathers dissolved and raw flesh folded back into his body. Skin and tissue re-stitched itself, sealing back up without leaving a mark.

The bruises beneath his eyes reappeared, skin fading back into the light tan it had always been. When his eyes cracked open, they were just as pretty as before. Minus the glow, plus a tinge of red. He swayed again, Sam appearing at his side. The larger man picked him up easily, arms behind his knees and across his back like a doll. Sam took him over to their bed, laying him down gently and kissing his forehead.

//My Jared…my angel. You're mine now more than ever. I'll never let another demon put his hands on you, never. The world doesn't deserve you…but I do.//

"I'll take my leave" Castiel tensed suddenly "I am needed elsewhere."

"Thanks Cass" Dean stepped up, hesitating for just a moment before slapping the angel on the back "We…uh, couldn't have gotten through it without you."

Castiel gave him a look, "I'm sure you would've managed…_somehow_."

"Of course, man" Dean replied gruffly, sniffing indignantly at the implication "Because I'm Dean Winchester, and angels are _dicks_."

Jensen bullied his lover away from the angel, giving his guardian a quick hug, "Thanks, Castiel."

"Always for you" Castiel sighed quietly, dropping a kiss into light hair before stepping away.

Dean clicked his tongue softly, curling his fingers at the angel, "Cass, before you go…I, uh, need to talk to you outside."

Castiel didn't even flinch, "Of course, Dean."

Ignoring Jensen's frightened look, they left the motel room.

Dean didn't speak, silently leading the angel away from the room and down the rows of doors. A male hooker stumbled out of one of the rooms, lips swelled and breath quick as he tried to thumb back on his sneakers. Pretty boy, dark hair and even darker eyes…his John's wallet hastily shoved in the back pocket of his worn jeans. He gave them a once over before darting out into the night.

Dean led the angel to the flat side of the building, trees dotted around to semi-hide them from the street.

"I'm not sure if you know this…" Dean turned to the angel, struggling with himself "I mean, I said it before out of anger, but it was just a theory. But every time Sam and Jared…Sam's been getting…"

"It is not like you to struggle with words" Castiel cocked his head "You are more one to mince."

"I don't want to admit this, but it's true" Dean huffed, closing his eyes briefly only to reopen them with determination "Sam gets stronger -_demonically_- every time he sleeps with Jared. I didn't want to believe it was a bad thing, but it _is_. Like I said before, I was being kind of mean before but…Jared has no idea about it, and Sam demanded it stays that way. And I just wanted to know if…"

"Sam's demon blood is 'getting off' on dominating an angel?" Castiel inquired, his crude words throwing the hunter off "It is."

Dean sighed dejectedly, "Shit, I thought so."

"I've tried to stop it, but we can't change what is to be" Castiel stated cryptically "I must warn you, Dean. If Sam takes Jared's blood by force, it may very well kill him. But…"

Castiel gave the Winchester a sideways look, "…if Jared gives it freely, he will be sullied."

Dean's brow creased, "He'll Fall?"

Castiel's cocked his head farther, "No. He will be tainted."

The hunter was becoming frustrated, "What does that mean?"

"…he'll go to Hell."

Dean blanched at this, breath catching. The thought of sweet Jared in Hell…among the racks, the fire, the sulfur. Flashes started to come back to him, but one look from intense lapis eyes and they faded.

"Why?" Dean managed to choke out.

"To give Holy blood to the Damned is a sin" Castiel stated as if it were the most obvious thing "The Gates of Heaven would forever be closed to him. I only tell you this because it will be up to you and my…"

Castiel stopped himself for a moment, closing his eyes briefly, "…_your_ Jensen to stop Jared. That boy cannot refuse Sam anything if he is asked."

Dean nodded, still pale, "Can I tell Sam?"

Castiel hesitated only a moment, "Yes."

"Good" Dean replied curtly "That's it, then."

"We're done?" it wasn't really a question, for the angel was gone in the next moment. Dean sighed and made his way back to the room, the knowledge a heavy burden on his shoulders.

He almost wished he hadn't asked.

//If I had a dollar for every time I scolded myself for asking the wrong question…//

Sam had redressed Jared into some comfortable clothes, now by his side and stroking his hair lovingly.

"We're not going to talk about this again" Sam stated firmly, eyes not leaving his lover "No one brings it up, not even in jest or anger."

Jensen scoffed, "We can't just _forget_ it."

"We will, though" Sam's eyes were pitch when they turned on the older men, a warning sign that he was on the edge "Everything is back to normal…he needs that from us. Unless he brings it up, we're just going to forgive and forget."

Jensen couldn't help but push, "The angel thing or the whoring thing?"

Sam all but snarled, "Do you think I won't hit you, you little bitch?!"

Dean narrowed his eyes, stepping in front of his lover, "Rein it in, Sammy."

Hazel bled through the ebony, "Promise me?"

Dean nodded, his lover's hand clenching in the back of his shirt, "We promise."

()

The next morning wasn't nearly as awkward as anyone knowing the situation would have thought it would be. Jared was the last to awaken, but was given the shower first. Guilt weighed physically on the man, he couldn't meet anyone's gaze or stand too close to them. He was scared to death of his friends wrath, he knew they were probably disgusted with him. Hell, he would be too on the other side of the mirror. He sullied their bond, though he hadn't known that was possible.

Dean bitched when the engine turned over, refusing to start. So their departure was delayed by an hour, the morning sun strengthening with each minute. Dean buried himself under the hood, leather jacket draped along the inside of the front seat. Jensen stayed at his side with the tool case, handing over the items as they were called out in gruff commands.

Sam, once he was sure they hadn't missed anything in the room, turned their keys in at the front desk. He gave the burly man behind the counter a dirty look, all but throwing the keys back at him. The Winchester recalled the same man leering at his lover when they first arrived. Sam had half a mind to thrown him through the wall and gut him like a shark. This man would never know the true radiance that was Jared, not now or ever.

Sam left the office, only to find his lover peeking at him from around the corner. Loose, bleached jeans…bare feet…all but drowning in a crimson hoody that looked suspiciously like his own. Sam glanced at his brother, finding the two of them busy with the car. He approached the actor, he knew they wouldn't have been able to avoid the issue for more than a few hours.

"Jay?" Sam turned the corner, brow creased when the slighter man pressed himself as close to the wall as possible "Are you alright?"

"Do you hate me?"

The soft inquiry nearly broke his heart, "Never, baby."

"I'm sorry, you know that right?" Jared pressed his back flush with the old stucco "None of it meant anything. I was desperate, and I thought I had gotten over all of those kinds of habits. The things I've done, Sammy…I'd understand if you didn't want to touch me anymore."

Sam entered his personal space so fast he lost his breath, the slighter man looking up at him in wide eyed awe and hope. Jared sagged against the wall, the hunter's wide palms running down his arms in a soothing manner. Sam's lips brushed his lightly, a groan dropping from his lips.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

"I know, Jay" Sam assured him, meeting those lovely eyes and not letting them stray "Look at me…I could never love you any less. You're the other half of my soul, remember? I'm never gonna give you up; sleeping around and angels be damned."

Sam pinned him with his body, pressing together every inch. He savored the moan that slipped from his boyfriend's lips, letting go of his wrists in favor of his hips.

"I'm not going to let you push me away, Jay."

Jared nodded quickly, "Never, Sammy…I love you."

Sam's eyes flickered darkly, "Only me?"

"Yes" Jared's eyes fluttered shut, loving the lips that kneaded sweetly at his neck "Only one…always you, more than anyone else."

Sam laved at his lover's pulse, instincts screaming at him.

_TakeDrinkFeedBloodTakeYoursBiteMine_

That was angel blood in those veins, blood that belonged on his tongue. He craved it more than he ever did Ruby's, he ached for it. He would have it to, and no one would stop him.

Next time they were alone…

_**TBC**_

_**In you I can trust (It's all about us)**_


	32. Chapter 32

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {32-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

Castiel went to where he was called, he had delayed it as long as possible. He found himself on the flat top of a hill, looking out over a small village. There was a cherry blossom tree in full bloom, cerise petals scattered over the group. The rich aroma of the blossoms was think in the air, he could taste them on his tongue. He took a few steps forward, wincing when his shoes crushed dozens of the delicate petals.

"You came."

Castiel turned, finding none other than this Beloved. Ryan was all but hiding in one of the cherry blossom trees, the pale rose/lavender of the morning light catching in his hair. The highlights there were now raspberry and gold, bringing out the brilliance of his eyes. An ivory grin flashed amongst the blushing blossoms, joy on his face.

"I'll always come when you call" Castiel narrowed his eyes "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Ryan chewed at his plump lower lip, dropping from the branches to the soft earth. He had chosen this place for it's charm, hoping to calm his lover with the raw, picturesque beauty that was Japan. The little town below the steep hill was one of his favorites, rural and stirring. But things had changed, the stakes had turned for them.

"Beloved" Ryan took a few hesitant steps toward the angel, shoving his hands into the depths of his pockets of his black jacket "Things here happened. The Underground is abuzz with your Jared…is he alright? Did the change go smoothly?"

Castiel was thrown for a moment, "This concerns you?"

Ryan's eyes hardened, "Do you think me so cold-hearted as to ignore the cries of a weeping half-angel? The truest half-angel in centuries?"

"Jared is fine" the angel replied "Doing well. The others have forgiven him, and they are on the road to protect a seal somewhere near Kearney, Nebraska."

Ryan's brow creased, "Isn't that where Lilith sent a coven of witches to break a seal?"

"Indeed" Castiel sighed, the demon approaching him again "They are nothing to Lilith, and her wrath will not be brought down when they kill the harlots. Lilith is still trying to recruit, trying to earn a name here among the Earth demons. Some have been away from Hell so long they'd forgotten her reputation."

"And your Jensen?" Ryan laced his fingers with the pale digits of the angel, pressing close along his side "He hasn't tried to drown himself again, has he?"

The skin of his palm tingled with the threat of burning, "If you were anyone else, I would burn you down for such words."

"I find myself melancholy in your absence" Ryan pulled away, doing a single spin amongst the petals before flashing his lover a most amazing smile "Show me your wings."

Once again Castiel found himself thrown, "What?"

"Let me see them? Just for a moment?" Ryan's smile faded, gaze flittering away towards the few trees on the hilltop "I don't have any of my own anymore."

Ryan's mood shifted again, eyes warming when they roamed over Castiel, "Seeing them always made me feel better."

"You…are a demanding little thing" Castiel turned, hiding the smile on his face.

//But that is why I love you// he silently added.

Castiel closed his eyes, taking a single calming breath. He drew in on himself, staying focused even as the skin of his vessel's back split. Muscle and cloth tore itself against painlessly, not a drop of blood falling as his wings emerged. With a relieved sigh, they unfurled completely and flexed in the morning air. They were a bit longer than Jared's had been, extending further.

Ryan gaped at him, shock on his face.

"What?" Castiel hoped he hadn't disappointed "Are they not as you remembered them, Ryanimay?'

"No" Ryan replied truthfully, trembling fingers coming up to his lips "My Castiel…what have I done?"

Panic ripped through the angel, wings curling inward so he could get a decent look at them. His eyes blazed over the feathers, instantly denying what he was seeing. They were once the purest of ivory, from down to top. Now…a dusky ash started at the top of each feather, creeping up along the bone length. The very ends tips ended in black, a midnight so pitch they might as well have been cut off. He stood there and blinked several times, but the color did not disappear.

Castiel turned on him with terrified eyes, "God has seen what I have done."

Ryan saw his lover was on the edge of a breakdown, and he feared for the surrounding scenery. He wrapped one arm around the slender waist and fisted the other hand in raven hair, holding him close. Castiel's chest was heaving, eyes impossibly wide. He stood limp in the demon's arms, his vessel's blood pumping so madly in his ears he couldn't hear anything else. Ryan's body was a solid force against his own, grounding him as his vision swam. His wings fell behind him, trembling once before going limp.

"Castiel, hush" Ryan cooed in his ears, rubbing his lover's back soothingly "Feel my breath…in, out, in…calm. If you don't settle down, you're going to give your vessel a heart attack. Be sweet for me, huh?"

It took nearly a full minute, but eventually lapis eyes fell shut and sullied wings refolded themselves back into his flesh. Castiel sagged into the demon, burying his face into his face in the tan neck bared before him. Ryan smelled like morning dew, a light scent he had always ended up sucking down lungful of air just to get a full taste. Not a trace of sulfur nor brimstone.

How could this be evil? This kind touch, these soothing words…him could this be wrong?

"I love you, Castiel" Ryan pulled away, looking lost "And for that you are being punished…I'm sorry."

"We need to stop this" the words burned Castiel's throat, but they needed to be said "Those markings are only a warning sign. Our Father _knows_, Ryanimay. You know the consequences if we continue…you will be smote and I thrown out of Heaven."

Ryan's golden eyes narrowed, "We won't stop."

Castiel positively sputtered, "You would risk my Grace and our lives to continue this sin?"

"Yes!" Ryan seized two handfuls of trench coat, pulling the angel with all his strength and slamming him against the nearest tree. The impact knocked loose blossoms all around them, the slighter man coughed out his breath.

"Why?" Castiel rasped "You got what you wanted! Father let you go without snuffing out your memories, let alone your life. You were granted any power you sought…you took the role of a demon, yet He did not smite you down for your impudence. I have a charge, he still needs me. Why would you risk all we have built for a love that should never be again?"

"Because you are mine" Ryan leant in, brushing their lips chastely as the glow from his eyes caught in raven hair "And I have always been a selfish thing."

Castiel nearly melted against the tree, "Your selfish nature shall be the ball and chain the Hounds will lock their jaws onto as they drag us down to Hell."

"Oh, don't start this again!" Ryan didn't care how petulant he looked or sounded, living among humans had made him childish "You can't pretend you don't want this! Not even a month ago you were in my bed, _with_ me as we should have been long ago."

"That's why you left Heaven? Is that the underlying reason?" Castiel barked, outraged "To have sex?"

Ryan chuckled, loosening his grip to a caress, "Maybe."

"You are insufferable" Castiel tried to get away, but an insistent mouth latched onto his neck "Let me go."

"No" Ryan replied playfully, rubbing against him like a cat "Say you love me…say you're mine, Beloved."

"You…" Castiel's breath caught, adoring the hot breath that bathed his skin "…you know I'm yours, I've always been."

Ryan faltered at this, backing off enough to peer into the angel's face, "Say you love me?"

Castiel turned his head away, lips pursed.

Ryan's heart broke a little, "My Castiel…say you love me, damn it."

//I can never// Castiel stayed silent //To say those words would be to damn us both more than you already have. I do not know what He will do to you…//

"If I Fall, I cannot protect you."

Ryan's golden eyes softened, a smile curling his lips, "You're protecting me."

Castiel's gaze stayed in the distance.

"You _do_ love me."

Silence.

Castiel disappeared with a flutter and rustle of wings.

Ryan dropped to his knees, crushing delicate petals beneath his weight.

God had seen their sin…and he was displeased.

()()()

Jensen stood outside their recent motel, clad only in a pair of plaid sleeping pants and a ratty old _Rush_ t-shirt. He hugged himself, bouncing on the balls of his bare feet as he waited for the machine to work. Honestly, he shouldn't have to wait this long. He put money into the slot, he pushed the button, a soda pops out. Nearly instant process, but _no_. This one had to be different.

The red glow from the outdated Coca-Cola machine bathed him, highlighting each strand of hair and curve of flesh on him. For a scant moment he looked purely demonic, glowering at the machine and baring his teeth while lashed in crimson. Then a can of soda clanked inside, appearing at the slot. His lips curled upwards in a smile, faint lines around his eyes creasing. He snatched it up, popping the top and guzzling.

Jensen tipped his head back and moaned, carbonated heaven pouring down his throat. He had gotten so used to a free-for-all diet…he would miss this the most. Once he started filming again, his new dietician was going to cut him a new one. He didn't eat nearly as much sweets as Jared, but he couldn't say not to a cold Dr. Pepper and some fried chicken when it was put in front of him. Unlike most men his age, he preferred the sweet sizzling-sugar pop to the smooth glide of bitter beer.

Fuck…he was going to miss this life.

Nothing was ever going to be the same, they all knew that by now. But hopefully, maybe a year or two down the line, Dean would wear down and see that Jared and himself belonged on the road with the Winchesters and their guns.

Jensen winced, nearly choking on his pop.

Maybe he belonged on the road, but Jared…his sweetest best friend who felt everything so deeply. Jared, who had to stand by and slowly watch his lover slip into darkness…who now knew of the Grace he possessed all his life. Deep down, Jensen wasn't surprised…not really. Jared had always been kind hearted and playful, but could other times spout wisdom of someone years older than himself. The puppy-like brunette could always sympathize with both sides, often acting as the referee between Jensen and Kripke when "Dean Battles" got heated.

Jensen shook his head, quickly gulping down his midnight treat. He crumpled the can in his fist with an obscene burp, chucking it into the nearby trash can. He pumped his fist in victory, then padded back towards the motel room.

They destroyed a coven of witches who had been trying to break a seal yesterday, an assignment from Castiel himself. It had been fairly easy, once Sam had shaken up the warehouse with his kickass demon powers and ruined some of the chalk wards that had been drawn to keep them out. Jared had hung back on gun duty, the others had gone full out hand-to-knife-to-hand with the bitches.

Now that they were dead, Jared had actually found them another job (Sam had been uber-proud of him.) There were roughly a half dozen missing kids in some small town, all around the same age. Dean had instantly suspicious, and off they went. Another kid had gone missing since this morning, and they still had a few hours drive ahead of them until they got to Yankton, South Dakota. They had only stopped because Jared had been restless, and whatever Sammy's precious pet wanted he got.

Jensen froze right in front of the door, hand in mid-air. Where had _that_ thought came from? Sure, Sam was ridiculously possessive and Dean mostly complied to his demands…but he loved Jared. Jared was his bother from another mother, his best friend, one of the only constants in his life for the past two years. This is the man he played Wii with, who's dogs he loved, who bit him once for taking the TV remote, who had those horribly sticky ice cream fights with him in the kitchen when it rained and had mud fights with him after it was done.

_Sammy's precious pet_…that was just spiteful.

Jensen slipped inside, making sure to re-salt the frame and lock the door. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden pitch, the street lights had cast a slight glow. For a few seconds, it was pure darkness, then shapes faded into sight. It took him some mindless groping and shuffling, but he managed to maneuver around Jared and Sam's bed to his own. The lovers were curled up and sound asleep, a possessive arm thrown over the small of the actor's back.

Jensen no sooner entered the bed before he realized not all was well in his own bed. Dean was straining, the blankets kicked and his writhing body. His eyes were clenched shut as if he were in pain, digits twisting in the street below him. Every muscle flexed as he bucked against some invisible force, lips parted in a useless attempt to regain his breath. His skin was in a light sweat, hair scrubbed up every which way.

"Not again" Jensen sighed, dipping down on the hunter and smoothing a hand down his back "Wake up, Dee. It's just a nightmare, you're safe. C'mon, baby, it's just - ah!"

Dean's eyes snapped open suddenly, lashing out like a taunted snake. Jensen caught an elbow to his chin, averting the full blow by ducking by ducking on pure instinct. The slighter man rolled out of bed, hitting the floor with a groan and clutching his achy jaw. Dean sat straight up, looking around with wide eyes and realizing what he had done. The Winchester was panting heavily now, eyes glazed.

Jensen sat himself up, cringing when he tasted copper in his mouth, "Another nightmare? You ok?"

Dean got out of bed, rubbing a hand over his stubbled jaw, "_Hell_."

The venomous word told it all. Dean made his way to the bathroom, unmindful of the time as he flipped on the light. Jensen perked up suddenly, scrambling to his feet.

"Can I…uh, can I help at all?"

Dean shot his lover a cold look, "I said '_Hell_', Jensen. You'd never understand."

Dean slammed the door once again in his soulmate face.

Jensen dropped bonelessly to the bed, finality in the air.

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us**_


	33. Chapter 33

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {33-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

The next morning, Jensen faked sick all the way to the town. He acted all innocent, sniffling pathetic when he told them he was going to need a separate room and hours alone. He went on and on in a weak voice about how he got to day-long bugs all the time, and it would fade with some rest and quiet.

When they stopped at the new motel, Dean still protested loudly about his precious "Jenny-doll" staying alone. It took a lot of pouting and puppy eyes, but Jensen soon got his single bedded room, complete with salt lines and privacy. The other three got a room right beside him, giving him a key and a quick goodbye before they headed to the local library to look up all the young kids. Hopefully, they would get a lead on whatever was taking those poor things and find the connection.

With his blessing, they left.

Jensen locked the door once he saw the Impala leave, a sense of apprehension flowing through him. This was more than he'd ever done, he wasn't even sure where this road would end. But he had come to this decision a long time ago, and nothing would sway him. He kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket to the floor, taking a few calming breaths.

In. Out. In. _This is so stupid. _Out. In. _He's going to kill me for this. _Out. In. Out. _I don't care anymore._

"Castiel!" Jensen called, eyes to the ceiling "If you can hear me, I need you. _Now_…more than ever."

All the air was sucked out of the room, forcing a gasp from his throat. The tension broke when Castiel appeared, fluttering wings muted over the flap of his trench coat. He seemed uneasy, a frown marring his vessel's handsome face.

"Jensen" Castiel cocked his head to the side "I'm going to assume you are calling in that favor you tricked me into?"

"It has to do with Dean" Jensen promised "It has to be done to save our relationship."

"Surely nothing has come between you?" Castiel asked, alarmed.

Jensen pulled a sour face, "Hell has."

Castiel looked off, understanding.

"What would you do for me, Castiel?" Jensen inquired, stepping closer "How far would you go for me?"

Castiel pursed his lips, "I'd do anything for you, young one, you know that."

"Send me to Hell, Castiel."

Castiel choked on his own tongue, eyes nearly popping out of his skull, "No, Jensen…never!"

"You have to" Jensen pleaded "I love Dean, and he's hurting so much! I can't let him suffer alone! If I know what he went through, maybe he would start healing."

"I tell you to fix him, and you ask me to send you to Hell?" Castiel blanched, just the thought of his charge in Lucifer's clutches made him ill "I'll send you back to Vancouver before I do such a thing."

"I've never asked you for anything, Castiel! Not a thing!" Jensen whined like a child "Do you think I _just_ decided this? I've been mulling it over and over in my head for two months now, and it's all I _ever_ think about. You told me to get his head level, and this is the only solution! This is the other half of my _soul_, Castiel. I can't bear to see him in pain for another moment!"

"You are such a petulant child!" Castiel hissed, lunging for the human. He seized Jensen's wrist, twisting it so hard the human cried out and collapsed to his knees. Jensen didn't struggle against the unyielding grip, looking up at the angel in awe and terror. Castiel sneered down at him, ire in cyan orbs.

"There are _rules_, Jensen Ross, you know this!" Castiel barked, the human winning at the angel's steely voice "You would have me throw your soul amongst the murders and the flames…for a whim?! You would forever sully your pureness for a taste of what Dean went through? Dean was so easily corrupted in Hell, what makes you think you will be any less manipulated? What was foretold?"

Jensen shook his head, eyes glistening.

Castiel tightened his grip, eyes alight, "Speak!"

Jensen nearly screamed it out, " 'And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell! As he breaks…so shall it break.' "

"They will tear you apart down there! They will rip you to shred and restore you fully just to pluck out your organs one by one. Do you remember Alastair? The demon that visits Dean in his nightmares? Oh, he would enjoy you, my Jensen"

Castiel's lips twitched, absolutely disgusted

"He would seek you out the moment he smelt you, the moment you appeared."

"If you're trying to scare me…" Jensen's voice wavered "You can cut it out. I'm already scared, and you're not going to talk me out of it. It's something I _have_ to do. I can't lose my Dean, I _can't_."

"You would ask me to destroy one of the most beautiful of my Father's creations for a hope?" Castiel's eyes softened, cupping the human's neck with his free hand and caressed the soft skin he found there "No…no, this I cannot do."

"Can't or _won't_?" Jensen gave him a sturdy look, seeming strong even on his knees "I will bring Dean back from the edge…if only given this chance."

"Are you…are you sure this is what you want?" Castiel pulled the boy to his feet, peering deeply into pleading emerald eyes "Can there be no other way? Maybe…"

//Maybe you could just _let_ Dean be violent and moody, for you are _far_ more precious.//

The dark thoughts slipped unheeded into the angel's mind, causing him to flinch.

"Do you have the power to do it?" Jensen asked quickly, glaring at the angel for his silence "Do you?"

Castiel's breath hitched, "_Yes_."

"Then do it" Jensen nodded, emerald orbs hardening "Send me there for the entire day, give me that taste."

Castiel closed his eyes briefly, trying to simply breathe, "How long…how long do you wish to stay?"

Jensen's brow creased, "I just said-"

"_In months_" Castiel snapped, trying to stay centered and failing "Time is different there…and if I'm controlling your trip, I can adjust your presence there. I can make it just a few days, or a few months."

Jensen knew what he wanted, "In just a few hours, you can make anything?"

"Yes."

"I want ten years."

"_Ten years_?!" Castiel stepped away, horrified "Surely not?"

"Ten years" Jensen didn't waver "But we only have a few hours before the others get back, so we have to do this now."

Castiel's heart hurt, "Consider another way-"

"Either _you_ do it, or I'll sell my soul to a demon the old fashioned way!" Jensen demanded, crossing his arms and tilting his head up in a gesture of resolve "Don't think I won't, cause I will."

"You would" Castiel narrowed his eyes at the human "You are a manipulative little thing. To play off my love for you against my duty…it's almost wicked."

They remained silent, seconds being ticked off by the cheap, old leaf-patterned clock on the wall.

"Dean will be angry" Castiel pointed out "With you _and_ with me."

Jensen seemed to wilt at this, "He's going to be angry anyway…he doesn't hold his temper with me, so maybe I'll get lucky and he'll understand."

"Lie down" Castiel commented, softening his voice when the man looked at him in fear "On the bed there. Let's get started."

Jensen did as he was told. He eased himself onto the bed, plopping down onto his back and getting comfortable. The entire situation reminded him of that band that Jared was always listening to, Say Anything. Good band, kind of sounded a bit too much like 3oh!3 for him, but their song _A Walk Through Hell _kept playing in his head. It was appropriate, and it always kind of made Jared melancholy when he played it on his MP3.

"_I'd walk through Hell for you_…_let it burn right through my shoes, these soles are useless without you_" Jensen sang softly, eyes locked on the ceiling "_Through Hell for you…let the torturing ensue, my soul is useless without you._"

The angel gave him a strange look, he shrugged, "Sorry. I'm trying to stall, I guess. Either that, or my mind's finally breaking."

Castiel hesitated a moment, then came over and sat down next to him.

"You may lose track of time down there, or maybe you'll count every second" Castiel began passively "I'm going to take your soul from your body, and I will remain here to watch over your physical form. You may lapse back a few times and speak through your physical voice. When you've had your fill, say '_Castiel, I've had enough_' and I will pull you back. Anything else, I will ignore."

"Alright" Jensen nodded, memorizing the words.

Castiel looked on as the boy's mouth trembled, "Are you frightened?"

"I'm terrified" Jensen admitted, throat tight "But I'm ready."

The raven haired angel sighed shakily, "You'll never be ready for Hell, my little one."

Castiel reached out, placing two fingers on the actor's forehead. Jensen inhaled sharply, eyes bugging as electricity shot through him. It felt as if he were being hollowed out, invisible hands seeping into his gut and ripping his soul from him. The angel's palm fell over his yes, blacking out the real world.

And that is when Jensen Ross Ackles knew pain…and fell.

()

_Hot, dark…stifling air. Jensen felt chains on him, around his naked waist and wrists. Hooks sliced through his skin, pulling and prodding tissue and drawing blood. The sky and ground (and the everything) was stained crimson and tar, swirling in endlessness around him, above him, below him. He tried to draw in breath, but all he tasted was sulfur._

_A rack held him…The Rack._

_Icy-burning hands seized his waist, ripping into the pliable flesh. There was someone there…securing him, pinning him, suffocating him with their very presence. Razor wire ripped down his neck, a greedy mouth lapping up the stream of his life essence. Jensen tried to scream, but after all of a few seconds his throat was raw with the stench of this place._

"_Welcome, Jenny-dear…we'll have so much fun, you and I."_

_Jensen whimpered, "Who…?"_

"_Dean and I had so much fun, he is my prized pupil" a chunk was ripped from the humans shoulder, he choked out a scream "Let's see if I can carve you up just as pretty, let's see if I can break you as well. Dean's whore, his soulmate…what a treat…a real __**delight**__ for us down here. But don't worry, Jenny-dear, I'll be the only one to touch you. I…and my toys."_

_Jensen knew his world just got much bleaker, "Alastair…"_

"_The one and only, my sweet."_

_**TBC**_

_**They don't know,  
**__**They can't see who we are**_


	34. Chapter 34

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {34-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: Song's used here are "We Are Not Alone" from The Breakfast Club soundtrack and "Take Off Your Clothes" by Morningwood.**)**

* * *

Castiel briefly left his vessel, flying on wings of light and prayer to send his charge to Hell. He came back to the vessel with a jolt, out of breath and teary eyed. He looked down upon the bed, his Jensen's physical body pale and limp on the coverlet. For a sickening moment he thought he had messed up the process and killed him, but the boy's chest rose and fell evenly.

How in his Father's name could he have done this? Castiel reached out and ran his fingers over Jensen's jaw, the skin there marred with stubble like worn sandpaper.

"He's just a child…" the angel turned his head away in disgust, taking his hand away from the human "What have I done?"

Castiel linked his fingers, leaning his elbows down on his knees and pressing his fists to his forehead in prayer, "Father…forgive me for what I have done. He would not have seen reason, even if I had debated with him for days. Can you ever forgive me for willingly sending one of your most beautiful of masterpieces into the hands of filth?"

So Castiel waited, either for an answer or for time, who knew?

Castiel sat by his charge's side for a full hour before the air was disturbed. Jensen's cell phone went off, vibrating and singing from the night stand. The angel jumped and looked over at the offensive object, obscenely loud in the still of the cheap motel room.

_We are not alone  
__You find out when your cover's blown  
__There'll be somebody there to break your fall  
__We are not alone  
__Cause when you cut down to the bone  
__We're really not so different after all_

After thirty seconds or so, it went silent. Castiel wavered, then reached out and curled his fingers around the device. A "Blackberry" as Jensen often called it, a communication device. Castiel had often seen all the boys on one at one point or another. It looked like an object of buttons and clockwork tot eh angel, but there was a message on the screen.

"A voicemail?" Castiel cocked his head to the side, brow creased. From what the lighted screen indicated, a certain button must be pushed to retrieve whatever had been left. Castiel fiddled with the device for minutes, but soon enough the thing beeped and the message played.

Castiel put it to his ear, greeted by the voice of John Winchester.

"_Jensen_" the man grunted, obviously displeased "_You gotta answer your phone, Hollywood…you know communication is important. I'm calling to check in, I just got off the phone with Dean and he said you were sick. Get plenty of rest, kid, we need all the soldiers we can get in top condition. I'll call back later when you're awake_."

John paused, "_…I hope you're not doing something stupid, Hollywood._"

A harsh beep ended the message, making the angel flinch.

Castiel set the device aside carefully, sighing through his nose. John really was a good man, a caring man beneath the Marine exterior. But he was also a good judge of character, John seemed to know that if Jensen was lying about being sick, he was up to something.

It was another before another call came, this one had a different ring.

_When I see you baby,  
__I wanna take off your clothes  
__Just rip off your clothesTo take off your clothes!  
__When I see you I want you to  
__Take off my clothes  
__Just rip off my clothes  
__To take off my clothes  
__Ugh, make yourself at home  
__And take off yours clothes  
__We'll get naked and see how it goes!_

Castiel blushed and silently counted to ten when the song stopped. He quietly missed the music that seemed to be everything for humans. On their phones, their TV's, their heads, their lips. In his thoughts, Castiel remembered watching a young Jensen dance and sing at the top of his lungs in front of his mirror. An innocent kid…to only dance when no one watched, who belted out his favorite tunes without shame. The boy who loved fast cars and cherry Poptarts, Dr. Pepper and his bike, colorful trees and soccer.

Castiel shuddered, had he lost his Jensen?

Castiel picked up the cellphone, pressing the same button and putting it to his ear.

"_Sleeping it off, honey?_" Dean's voice was a soft coo, Castiel colored as he heard the loving tone reserved only for Jensen and Sam (but only during those rare moments, his brother didn't bring too much affection lately) "_Hope you're feeling better. Sammy and Jay are in the library still, the archives are broken so we're having some trouble. Jared think it's a Candle Jack, my stubborn brother thinks it's a restless spirit of a babysitter who drowned four children she was watching. Six kids have already died, I'm going to wrap this up as quick as I can. We're looking at three…maybe four hours before I have time to check up on you. Sam might swing by, but I told him not to disturb you. There's some strawberry Poptarts in my duffle…it's not much, but it's all you have until I can go to a diner. Loot Sammy's stuff, he's probably got some 'yoga bars' or something. Be good, love ya._"

Another beep, he set the phone down.

"Only a few more hours" Castiel dabbed the sweat from his charge's brow "It's almost over."

Castiel sat by Jensen's side and watched loyally, staying still and silent. Jensen barely twitched, let alone spoke. He looked extremely ill, ski ashen and breath raspy. He looked all for the world on the brink of death, though physically he was fine. Castiel could only imagine what his charge must be going through. Was he being torn apart by thousands of demons? Or had Alastair found him worthy enough to break?

Four and a half hours all but flew by. Castiel found himself up and pacing at the foot of the bed. Dean Winchester was not going to react well to this, not at all. Being an Angel of the Lord, Castiel could not be physically hurt by the Winchester…but they had developed a certain level of trust. That would be destroyed as soon as Dean realized Castiel had sent his beloved Jensen to Hell. He would have to brace himself for an assault, and who knew how Jared and Sam would react?

He would not have to wait very long, the growl of the Impala filled the room. The angel paused and listened closely, the engine killed in favor of much grumbling and discussion. Doors shoes shuffling loudly against rough pavement.

"Told you it was a Candle-Jack" that sing-song voice was Jared.

There was a mocking mutter in return, this from Sam.

"If you guys are done…"

Castiel planted his feet firmly and stared straight at the door, steeled.

The door knob jiggled briefly, then a key slipped into the lock. With a twist, the door was pushed open.

"Hey Jenny" Dean strolled into the room, freezing when he saw the angel "Cass?"

"Dean" Castiel held up a hand, voice steady "You must be calm. Whatever you do, you must remain calm."

"Calm?" Dean's eyes flickered to his lover becoming alarmed when he saw the man's sickly demeanor "Jen? Jensen!"

Dean scrambled to his lover's side, kneeling by the bed and reaching out to him. Jensen didn't even flinch when calloused fingertips ran down his cheek and neck, nor when the heavy palm settled on his forehead. Dean cringed and pulled his head away, sucking in a sharp breath.

"He's clammy" Dean looked up at the angel pleadingly "Is he ok? Did he get worse? Is it demonic?"

"No" Castiel couldn't lie, not with Jared and Sam giving him accusatory looks "Jensen demanded something of me…and I was forced to grant his wish."

Dean's ire rose fast through his worry, he got to his feet, "So this is your fault?"

"Yes" Castiel raised his chin, keeping his voice level "Dean…Jensen's soul is in Hell."

Castiel was not surprised when a solid fist connected with his jaw, fracturing the bone. The angel stumbled but did not fall, an echo of pain flashing in him as the bone instantly snapped itself back into place and healed. Furious jade eyes burned holes in him, fists roughly seizing him by his lapels and pinning him against the horridly colored walls.

"What did you do?" Dean hissed, ready to spontaneously combust "What did you do to my boy?"

Castiel cleared his throat, "Jensen called me…he had a favor to ask."

Dean jolted him, "So you sent him to Hell?"

"He begged me, I could not say no" the angel replied "It is not forever, just a day."

"Why would he ask that?" Dean was still angry, but more confused "And why would you say yes?!"

"If _I_ had not done it, Dean Winchester…" Castiel swallowed, trying to sooth his dry throat "A demon would have. And you know as well as I that they would haven taken more from Jensen than his consciousness, and given him more than a few years."

"Jensen doesn't _want_ to go to Hell" Jared protested vehemently "He would never!"

"Leave" Dean let go of the angel, facing the others "I'll take care of it."

"Dean-"

"No, Sam" Dean cut him off fiercely "I don't need your lip right now. I'll get Jensen back, go get something to eat."

Sam took his lover's hand, dragging him out of the room and shutting the door in their wake.

The Winchester paced further from the angel, eyes only for Jensen, "Why would he ask to go?"

"It is our mutual fault" Castiel slumped against the wall, choosing his words carefully "I put so much on him, I kept pushing at him."

"To do what?"

"To balance you" Castiel admitted "You've been on edge, Dean…and you are no use to Heaven unstable."

Dean scoffed bitterly, "I've been a lot calmer since he came into my life."

"Yet you are suppressing" the angel pushed "It broke Jensen's heart to see you in so much pain, knowing you didn't have to be alone. He kept wondering why you wouldn't tell him, why you just kept bottling things up. Between the women and booze, you've lost yourself Dean Winchester. Jensen only wanted to help, and you told him…"

" '_You wouldn't understand…and I can never explain it to you…this is something I have to deal with…alone_' " Dean rattled off from memory, recalling how he had ignored the hurt on his lover's face "Jen…he was only trying to be nice and I…"

"Yes" Castile stood straighter "He almost killed himself trying to take my mark from your skin."

//Let alone in the bathtub with you asleep in the next room.//

"I knew it" Dean ran a hand up his lover's calf, frowning at the lack of reaction "He's only human, he can't do things like that. Fuck, I've been so selfish! Walking around like I'm so God-damn special, like I was the only one who'd been to Hell. I kept pushing all the questions away, I didn't want them to know what I'd done…what I'd…"

Castiel flinched at the words, "We've all been selfish, Dean."

Dean was silent for only a moment, "Do you know what's going on down there? How long he'll be?"

"Jensen chose to be down there for ten years. Though I tried to talk him down, he would not be swayed" Castiel admitted, frowning when the Winchester scowled "As for my sight…I am blinded to his torture."

Jensen shuddered suddenly, pulling a face, "…_Alastair_…"

The low hiss ripped through the room, scratching at their senses. Dean tensed all over, bristling like a cat over the name. He watched his lover writhe upon the cheap linen, legs crooking slightly and thighs parting just a fraction of an inch. It could have been nothing, but Dean's vision went red. He whirled on the angel, teeth bared with barley suppressed anger.

"_Alastair_? You let that son-of-a-bitch put his hands on _my_ Jensen?" Dean's knuckles went white, he fought down the urge to thrash and break every bit of furniture around him "Look _hard_, Cass. Is Alastair fucking him right now? You sent him down there to be raped and torn!"

"Alastair is doing nothing to him he didn't do to you."

Dean's eyes flashed knowingly, "I should kill you!"

"Beat me, if that is what you want Dean" Castiel conceded, holding out his arms in submission "Though I will not feel it, I will not fight you."

Dean shinned away, guilt in his eyes, "I know it's not all you…better you than some God-damn Crossroads demon or Lilith's Hellhounds."

Castiel dropped his arms to his sides, half-disappointed. He opened his mouth to speak, but his throat was too tight. Was this human grief he was experiencing? Was this just his vessel? Or had he finally learned to feel? Jensen had said…

"_What you're feeling now, Cass? It's called exasperation." _

"How much longer?" Dean turned to the angel, pointedly ignoring the groan that came from the actor "How long until…until you can pull him back?""However long he chooses" Castiel replied solemnly, trying not to look at his charge for fear he would take him into his arms and take him away from this world "I cannot help him until he calls upon me."

"So we wait" Dean strode over to the nearby chair, taking out his gun and plopping down upon it.

A half hour later, they were still waiting. Dean was humming out "If You Want Blood (You Got It)" by AC/DC, cleaning every inch of his favored ivory handled gun. Castiel ended up seated on the floor, legs stretched out in front of him and back to the wall. His hands were folded on his lap. He seemed to be admiring the perfect, black 'V' his legs made.

Dean finally finished his gun, setting it aside, "You ok, Cass?"

"I am…" Castiel began breathlessly, cocking his head to the side "…_worried_? I feel…_guilty?_"

Each emotion sounded like a stunted question, as if he were unsure they were the right words.

"And I think…" Castiel cocked his head to the other side, eyes fluttering dangerously "I believe what I'm feeling is 'tired', but I cannot be sure."

"Limbs heavy? Dizzy? Can barely keep your eyes open?" Dean rattled off, the angel nodded "Yeah, Cass, you're tired. Isn't that a human thing?"

"Angels are not immune" Castiel stated lightly "I wish I felt hunger…when humans are sad, they seem to eat in excess or not at all."

Dean grunted, "True."

Jensen groaned from the bed, "Castiel."

The angel was up in a moment, taking his place by his charge's side. He paused, hovering at his side. Jensen thrashed once, then stilled upon the bed. Dean's eyes darted between the two men, anxiety growing with each moment of hesitation.

"Take him out" Dean demanded "He _wants_ out."

Jensen's lashes fluttered. The tendons in his neck protruded as he strained to break free of the invisible grip that was holding him, "…Dee…"

Dean's eyes widened, "He can hear me?"

"I don't think so" Castiel was nearly vibrating, hand hovering in the air over Jensen's head "Say it, Jensen…say it and I will raise you from Hell."

But the man didn't move, just continued to lightly pant.

Castiel drew back as if he'd been burned, realizing something.

"Dean…" the angel spoke lowly "When I raise him from netherworld, I will burn him with my touch."

Dean lifted his hand on instinct, rubbing it over the coral shaded sear on his bicep, "That's the _last_ thing I'm worrying about right now."

"_Father_" Castiel nearly toppled to the floor, crestfallen "What have I done to him?"

Jensen sucked in a breath, harsher then the others, "Castiel…I've had enough."

There was no pause, not a speck of vacillation. Castiel straddled the Texan native, seizing his bicep in his left hand. Dean watched in complete awe, Castiel's eyes going white and glowing like the time Alastair tried to send him back to Heaven. Castiel's hand lit up like a copier machine, lighting up his charge's skin in a slow wave.

Jensen parted his lips and _screamed_. Blood-curling-boiling-terror-oh-my-fucking-God-it-_hurts-_so-_bad_ scream. Jensen's eyes flew open, back arching up in a painful bow. He bucked beneath the angel, but Castiel held steady and whispered some language that nipped at the hunter's ears. It took minutes of screaming and writhing, but soon enough Jensen bucked so hard he came up off the bed.

Castiel still held him by his bicep, fingers unyielding against his flesh. Jensen was gasping desperately now, though his tone was lighter. He sat right up into Castiel's arms at an arch, eyes still painfully wide. The angel dropped a kiss on his cheek, then released him.

Jensen fell back to the bed limply, a breathless whimper escaping him. His t-shirt sleeve was rucked up from where the angel had grabbed him, and there was now a scarlet handprint there. The mark seemed to sizzle and steam, identical to the scar Dean found on his arm when he came out of his own grave. His pupils were blown to leave only a ring of emerald, still seeing nothing.

"Jensen" Castiel eased off the boy, putting his feet on the floor "Jensen…are you here with us again?"

Jensen's eyes focused, bottle green dominating the black. He looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time, a simple expression of confusion on his face. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, as if he could not remember how to curl his lips around the words.

"Dean" Jensen managed, finding the hunter with his gaze. He gave him a soft smile, getting one in return for his efforts. Jensen rolled his head, looking Castiel over.

"Castiel, thanks" Jensen's voice hardened "Now get out."

Castiel expected nothing less…he bowed his head and disappeared with a rustle of wings and sheets.

Jensen groaned softly, lifting himself up on his elbows and into a sitting position. Dean tried to step forward and help, but his lover held up a hand to stop him in a silent '_let me do it myself_' gesture. Jensen took a few breaths, then turned and put his feet on the floor.

"I understand now" Jensen stated, he got to his feet with another grunt "Dean, I…I understand everything now."

"Why would you do that?" Dean couldn't bring himself to be angry, settling on somewhere behind the line of confused "You lied to me? Brought down a Holy favor, and used it to take a trip to Hell? Why, Jense?"

"I love you, and I want to help you" Jensen admitted, closing the distance one step at a time "Now I have a taste of what you've been through…and I know why you feel so guilty."

Dean cringed, "You can't know."

Jensen looked him right in the eye, "Alastair says hi, sends the usual. Misses you, wishes you were there."

Anger flared through the hunter, "Did he touch you?"

Jensen snorted out a bitter laugh, "Oh, Dean…he did a lot more than '_touch me._' He carved me up like a honey ham and poured acid into my veins. He ripped out my throat on a whim, cut off my air like he was tossing a baseball into the sky. He sliced the choice cuts off me and served it around like Thanksgiving. He's a real bastard, that's for sure."

Jensen paused, waving through the air, "But that's not the point."

Dean looked his lover over, "Are you ok, Jen? Did you…did you lose it down there?"

"Actually, no. I kept sane, Dean…for you" Jensen threw his arms around Dean's neck, bringing them flush and dropping butterfly kisses upon the tan neck "I know what you did the last ten years…and I _understand_."

"You understand?" Dean spat, summoning up indignant (wasn't as good as anger though) "How could you understand? How could you ever…_ever_ want to touch me again after knowing what I've done?"

"Dean…you weren't weak for giving in, you were human. And no matter what your dad says, you're not above human weaknesses" Jensen began, voice honey-laden "Everyone's left you in the end. Your dad, your girlfriends, even Sam. Everyone's left you because you were a freak, because you're special. You've fought hundreds of battles…you've taken lives both for good and evil. You were tired of pain, sick with it. For once, someone gave you a choice to dish out some back out. For once, you didn't have to hurt. As long as you were dishing out the pain, you didn't have to feel it."

Jensen paused, nuzzling his lover's throat, "My hunter…I understand now. I don't blame you. You have no reason to feel guilty. None of that means anything weighed against all the good you've done."

Dean fell into the lull of sympathy, eyes half-lidded. Someone understood, someone loved him, and it was his Jenny. Jensen didn't hate him for what he'd done, not one bit. The torture he had dished had been making him sick for months…it felt so good to be forgiven.

Dean scowled, "So, you met Alastair?"

"Yeah, and you know what?" Jensen scoffed "He was _generous_."

"What do you mean?"

"He made me the same deal he made you" Jensen stated calmly "Everyday I was down there, he'd offer to take me off the rack in favor of tormenting all the poor souls around me. I asked him why."

Jensen pulled away enough to gaze into his boyfriend's eyes, "He said he did it because I was yours."

Dean's eyes widened, "I'm sorry, honey."

Jensen cocked his head to the side, "How long were you in Hell, Dean?"

"Forty years."

Jensen's lips twitched, "I was down there for ten. You broke at…what? Thirty years?"

Dean nodded dumbly. Jensen choked out a giggle, leaning in once more. He inhaled sharply right next to his lover's ear, pausing dramatically.

"I broke in five."

()

Dean reeled back, gaping like a moron, "You _what_?"

"I accepted the offer after five years" Jensen admitted with a shrug, the pain in his body lessening with each minute "I'm not as strong as you are, Dean."

"Oh my God" Dean nearly fell into the nearby plush chair, a hand scrubbing over his mouth "_Oh my God_."

"I don't see why you're so upset, Dean, you lasted longer than most" Jensen shrugged again "Down there…it's survival of the fittest, you're reduced to your primal urges and roll with them. If you're given a chance to survive, you take it."

Dean scowled, dropping his hand, "Much longer down there, and I would have turned into something not far off from a demon. Who knows what it did to you?"

Jensen looked deeply wounded, brow drawn and mouth plump in a soft pout, "There's nothing wrong with me, nothing _happened._ I'm still me, Dean…I'm just ten years older and better with a knife."

Dean's lips quirked dangerously, "That's not funny."

"The moment I awoke, two things struck me" Jensen held up two fingers, sauntering over to his lover "One: For it being Hell, there wasn't any fire. I mean, there wasn't _any_. I didn't see a single flame…lots of smoke and chains though. Humans have it wrong, I went in thinking it was something else entirely."

Jensen huffed and plopped down in the hunter's lap, straddling his knees and pressing close. He rubbed against him like a cat, savoring the gasp he ripped from Dean's lips.

"Second: You…are a dirty old man" Jensen purred, dropping their torsos in a sultry grind that had them both keening "I did the math. You're 31 years old, plus the 40 years in Hell. Look at you, Dean."

Jensen's accent thickened as his voice got breathier, "You scoundrel…bangin' a sweet young thing like me."

Dean brushed their cheeks, light stubble scratching, "Do _all_ the math, baby…you're now 41. You're just as dirty as I am."

Jensen cried out in outrage, pulling back with a dropped jaw, "Oh God…_I'm old_!"

Dean just laughed.

Only his Jenny could come back from Hell and worry about looks.

_**TBC**_

_**Fear is the enemy**_


	35. Chapter 35

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {35-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

Castiel stood alone on some white sand beach, the sky slowly pinkening when the sea met the sky. He had chosen an island off the coast of anything, not another speck of land around for miles. It was filled with all the classics, palm trees and rocks and brush. His breaths were shallow and uneven, he didn't know why. The angel watched the sun rise for it was a beautiful masterpiece of God, but his Father's wonders could not help him now.

"Beloved."

"Ryanimay" Castiel rasped, chest heaving beneath his heavy coats and vision blurry "There's something wrong…with my vessel…"

"No, Castiel, your vessel is fine" Ryan approached his lover from behind, the hem of his old t-shirt flittering around his waist with the breeze "All your feeling…that's _you_."

"It cannot be!" Castiel barked, whirling on the demon and glaring fiercely "I am an Angel of the Lord! A solider, a tool! I feel nothing, I only serve! Humans are the only ones given the gift of emotion, I am not worthy!"

"All angels can feel" Ryan spread out his arms "That's why all angels can fall."

Castiel turned away, shuddering.

"_I died for beauty, but was scarce adjusted in the tomb_" Ryan spoke on "_When one who died for truth was lain in an adjoining room._"

Castiel sneered, "Do not give me your verses!"

"Is this because of your Jensen?" Ryan approached cautiously, golden orbs bright in the rose tinged skylight "It must've killed you to send him to Hell like that, to give him over to the trash. At his own request, too."

Castiel didn't reply, it was true.

"My poor Beloved" Ryan maneuvered around the angel, peering lovingly into his broken lapis eyes "It's killing you, isn't it?"

Castiel broke.

"I _hurt_" Castiel's voice shattered, body trembling so roughly he was sure his knees would give out "It all hurts now. I'm guilty and tired and worried and it won't stop! I am burdened with all this doubt and anger and others things I should not be able to have…it won't go away."

Ryan's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh my Beloved, you really _do_ feel."

Castiel shook his head, "I do not want to, honestly. I'm just…can you make it stop?"

"Do you really want me to?" Ryan sneered in disgust "Do you want to be a mindless droid again?"

Castiel nodded, "If it means protecting you, yes."

"Oh, my love" Ryan sighed wearily.

A solid hand wrapped around the back of his neck, a cry of surprise ripping itself from the demon's throat. The sound was muffled into the angel's mouth, Castiel's lips stealing his. He replied eagerly, wrapping his arms around the teen's waist and bringing him flush. Sweetness flooded his mouth, tongues plundering. It was harsh, but it was needed.

"If I'm going to feel the pain, I want to feel the pleasure too" Castiel was almost pleading, breath heavy against the demon's cheek "Show me there's something good to feel in this world, please Ryanimay. You are all I have here that's…that is…"

Ryan could taste the desperation, it rolled off the angel as thickly as smoke. Castiel was in so much agony, and physical pain was a new thing for the angel. He knew what he wanted to say, what words stuck in his throat. Ryan seized that beige trench coat, silently slipping it down the angel's arms. Castiel's breath caught, but he didn't say a word of protest. With a flick of his power, the material spread itself over the sand.

"Beautiful" Ryan whispered in his lover's ear, wrapping his arms around the small of his back. Their mouths met, soft this time. They kissed and touched for endless minutes, clothes disappearing under insistent fingertips.

Ryan carefully lowered the angel on the coat, spreading his naked form out along the worn material. Castiel clung to his arms and kneaded at the demon's neck with his mouth like a kitten, though his intentions were far form pure. But, _God_, this angel (his angel) was beautiful beneath him. The pale skin, the dusting of dark hair…though not as stunning as his true form. Ryan hoped Castiel would keep this vessel, he found himself becoming attached to it more than he originally thought he would.

"I am yours, Castiel" Ryan swore, settling over him so bare flesh pressed and burned (though not in the way that would make him scream) "I am all yours, in this world and beyond. You are allowed to feel….and I will give you so much to feel, my love."

"Please" Castiel was breathless, fingers dancing across tan shoulder blades "It hurts…so much. Help me."

"Yes" Ryan craned his neck, taking dry pink lips with his before skimming down to the firm chest "I won't leave you again, Castiel. Never."

They lost themselves in their passion, panting and moaning out their sin.

Time held still for them, angel and demon united. The soft sand beneath the jacket gave way beneath each thrust, each writhe, each buck. Ryan tapped the pads of two fingertips along the angel's bottom lip, moaning into pale flesh as that pretty mouth parted for him. He prepared his slighter lover with only that, drinking in every whimper and mewl.

The sun slowly rose from the sea, warming the sands and water. The strengthening light inched towards them, almost threatening.

It wasn't long before Ryan was buried inside the angel, filling him as the both craved. Castiel clawed into highlighted raven hair, the tears he did not know he could shed rolled down his face.

"That's it, Castiel" Ryan purred against his cheek "Let it go."

Castiel moaned loudly when the demon hitched his leg up around his tan waist, sliding in that last inch, "_Beloved_."

Ryan nearly lost it at the endearment, knowing then that Castiel was his.

What seemed like hours later, they fell spent upon the large tax-accountant jacket. Ryan, once he was sure his muscles hadn't liquefied, curled himself along the angel's side. The sun had risen enough to warm them, driving out the last of the pink to invite in the gold.

Castiel turned his head, dropping kisses into his lover's hair, "Ryanimay…I would pick you over Heaven."

"I don't ask it of you" Ryan lied, absently wiping tear trails from the angel's beautiful face "But if you loved me, you would."

"No more mind games" Castiel growled, closing his eyes tight as if to hide from the wrath of God "Not today…I can't take it."

()()()

They found out quickly Jensen was still their Jensen. He was still happy and liked to poke fun at Sam's freakishly giant form and Dean's obsession with sweets. He still sucked down pop like a five year old and loved on the Impala, even went as far as to argue with Dean over the detailing. He was fine, except for sometimes he'd stare off for no reason…mutter, then go back to what he was doing.

At the first diner they stopped at, they found out something else.

Jensen had ordered a pile of brisket, eggs, bacon, and sausage all on one plate. He was shoving it down as fast as he could…he looked about five seconds away from damning the fork and using his hands. Dean stopped his own chow-down session in favor of watching his lover, fascinated.

Jensen looked up at them, a piece of egg caught on his tongue, "What?"

"It's weird" Sam explained, subtly pushing his side bowl of chopped strawberries into his lover's greedy hand "When Dean got back, he kind of lost his appetite for a while."

"You can't really compare the two things" Jensen swallowed, fork spearing a particularly large chunk of sausage "Dean was there for forty years, I only got ten. It's like…" he made a rough, sighing sound "Like comparing jetlag to a coma."

Jared made a face, but just shoved strawberry slices into his mouth.

"Do you remember anything?" Sam leant in, elbows braced on the table as he gave the older man an unwavering look "Anything at all?"

"Yep, everything" Jensen looked up from his place, flashing the tall brunette a smug grin "And Sammy, sweetie…I've been to Hell, ok? You and your creepy mojo don't scare me anymore, so don't even try."

Sam sat back in his seat, conceding.

"Guys, come on" Jensen's smile turned sweeter, sweeping his gaze around at the three of them "I'm still me! Dean's still Dean, and I'm still your friend. If I learned anything down there…I learned that I have it really good up here and I love you guys. That, and Alastair's a bastard."

"True" Dean agreed, both clinked their glasses in a toast to his bastard-ness.

"And there's…no aftereffects?" Sam questioned, for it confused him "No guilt?"

"Nope" Jensen swallowed down some eggs before continuing "I mean…it's a 'kill or be killed' world down there. I did what I had to do to survive, and…."

Jensen turned to Dean, putting his hand over the hunter's, "_Any_ of those souls would have done the same to us if given a chance."

Again, Dean couldn't argue.

"So I'm ok" Jensen declared, pausing to tug at the skirt of a passing waitress "Hey sweetheart? Can I get some more coffee? Cream and milk, please."

The pretty red head looked him over smoothly, smiling like a hungry fox, "Of course, lovely boy."

Jensen blushed fiercely, "Thanks."

She sauntered off, fiery hair licking behind her and skirt clinging lightly to her ass.

"So pretty" Dean sighed mournfully, though he was running his knuckles over the handprint scarred onto his lover's arm "Too bad."

Something dark flashed in jade eyes, "If we weren't soulmates and the thought of someone else's hands on you didn't make me sick…I would offer to share her and make a night of it."

Jared and Sam gaped at the light haired actor, dumbfounded.

Dean just grinned back, "Some goes for me, Jenny."

Jared broke his shock and rolled his eyes at them…

God, he had the weirdest family.

_**TBC**_

_**Hold on tight**_


	36. Chapter 36

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {36-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: Jensen, in this story, doesn't wear his glasses often. He wore them a lot at Missouri's house and before, but now he's mostly doing the whole contacts thing. For the sake of his integrity, he's not going to wear them anymore during this story. I know for a fact that you, I, and Dean would all cry if they got broken.**)**

* * *

Jensen wasn't completely unaffected by his impromptu vacation.

Only Jared remained oblivious to the other's pain, not one to look deeper into a situation that seemed fine. That, and he kind of had his own shit going on…finding out he was a half-angel and all. Sam could feel the darkness that clung onto the man's soul, hitching a ride back to the surface world. Something had stained Jensen's soul, yet it did not corrupt it.

Dean first knew it two days after his lover came back.

Dean was showering. He scrubbed his skin raw, trying to get off the mud that had caked to him. They had accidentally stumbled across a Woman in White, damn near ran her over with the Impala. She had rammed them, forcing them to pull over.

Before they knew it, she was inside the car and all over Jared. Jared had screamed, but she had just kept whispering over and over "You can have me" and "You're going to pay for your unfaithfulness" and "Pretty angel, you're mine now" while Sam freaked out and started yelling about how he didn't care if Jared cheated and to get the fuck off my boyfriend before I cut you, bitch!

Sam didn't take having his Jared touched very well, so he obviously overreacted.

A mental flex and all the doors flew open, along with the three others. Dean had the bad luck to land flat in the mud, coating himself instantly. Somehow, his not-so-little brother held the bitch across the road with his power alone. Unfortunately, it was a struggle and he shouted at them to _hurry up and do something!_ It took some scrambling and some digging around in the trunk, but they found a banishing spell. Jared read it out loud, but it didn't work. Obviously, because White Ladies could only be destroyed by taking them back to where they killed themselves or have their bones burned (it all depended.)

Just as Sam was about to lose his grip on her thrashing spirit, Jared shouted something at her in a language that none of them knew and kind of stung. On the drive to the motel, Sam questioned his lover about the spell. If a banishing spell hadn't worked, what did?

"_It wasn't a spell"_ Jared had admitted sheepishly, tilting his head down in that way that hid his eyes _"I just told her that she was forgiven and had to move on…to let her anger go."_

And didn't _that_ just shock the fuck out of everyone?

Dean heard the door open, smiling to himself as he rinsed the soap from his eyes. Sam and Jared were going at it like fuckin' rabbits next door, his brother had been the one to suggest separate rooms tonight. Poor Jared, being used like a demon-battery and not even knowing it. With his angel powers all super-poweredly charged, there was no way Jared wouldn't figure things out soon. Such a smart boy, such a good boy…sometimes he thinks Sam doesn't deserve him.

So, the point is, it could only be Jensen in the bathroom now.

There was a rattling sound beneath the constant pounding of water in his ears, making him freeze. What was that? It sounded like…pills or candy. Oh! Maybe Jensen had managed to snag a container of mini-M&M's? Dean's mouth watered at the prospect. He leant backward and peeked around the shower curtain, squinting

through the steam.

Jensen was running water in the sink, gazing into the foggy mirror dully. He had on one of Dean's threadbare dark shirts, those pretty emerald boxers that clung to him the right way. There were crimson bruises beneath his eyes, not dark enough to cause serious worry though.

There was a bottle of pills by his right hand, there setting in the corner of the counter.

Jensen scowled suddenly, shaking his head as if to dislodge poisonous thoughts. He cupped his hands beneath the spray, pudding some water there before spending and splashing it on his face. He did it twice, groaning softly. Jensen snagged the bottle of pills off the sink, pressing and twisting off the cap. He shook two of the clear capsules into his palm, then into his mouth. He cupped some water in his hand, bringing it to his mouth to help swallow them down.

Dean watched as his lover tipped his head back and closed his eyes, rivulets of water trailing down his chin and hand.

Something was wrong with his Jenny.

Dean ducked back under the shower nozzle's spray, "Hey Jen, you hungry?"

Jensen's voice was calm, "Nah. I'm ready for bed. That White Lady earlier freaked me out. Can you believe the way she just popped into Jared's lap? I thought Sam was gonna bust an artery. Unbelievable…the nerve of these things, huh?"

Jensen left…Dean rushed the rest of his shower.

Dean came out of the bathroom soon enough to see his lover rubbing at his eyes jadedly and slumping (defeated) on the bed.

"Jensen?"

Jensen raised his head from his hands and smiled, "Done already?"

"No more long showers for me" Dean flashed him a grin, sitting his naked ass down beside his lover "I've got my fix right here."

"If that's your way of asking for sex, forget it" Jensen chuckled, half-heartedly "I'm tired, dude."

"No sex then" Dean pulled on a pair of boxers, he hadn't expected anything less "You, uh…ok?"

"Fine" Jensen grunted, maneuvering himself until he laid down on the other side of the bed "Turn off the light and get your pert ass in bed."

Dean leaned over Jensen and turned off the wall lamp. He gave his lover a long pet, trailing his palm from his shoulder down to his hip. He cupped the subtle curve there, dropping a kiss down amongst his light hair. Jensen sighed contently at the touch, melting into the covers easily. He settled back onto the mattress, keeping an inch of space between their bodies.

Dean let it go for now.

()

While Sam and Jared slept peacefully in the other room, Dean was rudely awoken about two in the morning.

The hunter jerked as nails raked down his back, a scream in his ear. Without pretense, he grabbed the knife beneath his pillow and twisted to stab whatever was attacking him. He bodily flipped the thing, pinning it.

Before he could do something he'd forever regret, his eyes adjusted and he froze. Jensen was the one below him instead of a Beastie. The actor was whimpering now, face twisted in pain as he thrashed his limbs.

"Jen?" Dean woke up completely, tossing his knife on the floor in horror "Jensen, wake up!"

Jensen whimpered, eyes fluttering open, "Dee?"

"Yeah, honey, come back to me" Dean cooed, smoothing back his lover's hair "It's alright now."

It was a few minutes of twitching and shifting eyes before Jensen quieted, melting under his lover's touch.

"You haven't been sleeping at night, or at all" it wasn't a question.

Jensen's eyes met his, ashamed, "The pills don't help."

"They never do" Dean settled himself by the slighter man's side, still stroking the soft hair at the base of the his skull "You don't have to talk-"

"It's Alastair" Jensen hissed, the phantom ache all over his body faded as the dream did "It's always Alastair…sometimes it's the sky, though."

Dean nodded reluctantly, staying quiet.

"He didn't let another demon touch me" Jensen admitted, licking absently at his dry lips "He reserved all his attention…for me. I don't feel guilty, I can't even remember their faces…it's all blur and blood. Hundreds…I tortured hundreds, and I don't care."

Dean gaped at this, unsure what to say.

Jensen met his lover's eyes, blinking back tears, "Am I selfish for only having nightmares of my own torture? Am I a bad person?"

Dean wanted to spit out _yes_, but swallowed it down.

Did he really want Jensen consumed by guilt like he had been? Did he want his lover hurting and drinking and overall brooding? Would he really be happier having Jensen confined to bed and crying into his pillow? This wasn't what he had expected Jensen to be like…but it was better than a blubbery, broken mess.

"No" Dean half lied "It's…it's better like this."

Jensen sighed in relief, relaxing into the mattress. One of his hands came up, slipping under his t-shirt sleeve to touch the scar on his arm. Dean's breath hitched, his fingers moving without his permission and tracing the handprint there as well.

"We match" Jensen teased lightly, but it was nothing that held humor.

Dean chewed the side of his lip, "Honey…it's not a good thing."

Jensen shrugged, tugging his boyfriend down and back to bed.

//Our trips weren't the same, he has no reason to feel guilty// Dean assured himself, laying along the slighter man's side //I can't even compare our trips…like jet lag and a coma…//

_**TBC**_

_**Hold on to me**_


	37. Chapter 37

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {37-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN: **I know the vampires here are different from _Supernatural_ vampires, but I did them how I want to. Mine don't bleed after they're dead, turn to dust, and all the stuff John Winchester said that didn't affect them in _Dead Man's Blood_, which I watched after I wrote this. Remember the AU warning? Yeah, dude, my fanfic…my rules.**)**

* * *

Sam and Jared hovered over the lap top, switching places every hour or so.

It only took them half a day to find a new job, a vampire nest south of Lake Sharpe. All of them ignored the ticking clock over their heads. They barely had a month before Jared and Jensen had to return to Vancouver. Sam had suggested quietly that they quit, and they almost called Kripke to do it to. But Jensen shook his head and reminded Jared that they had signed under a contract and Kripke bought the idea. They couldn't just quit, neither of them could afford to get sued.

Kripke could, the dick.

"And the fans…" Jared sighed, puppy eyed.

Jensen's lips curled up, "They would kill us. If the fans don't like us, we won't work again."

So yes, their time together was ticked off by minutes.

The Impala pulled up beside an "abandoned" motel outside of Ashke, South Dakota. It was a little early in the night, not close to midnight but the stars had settled in. The moon was heavy in the sky, it's light giving them a clear view of the building. It was an elegant design for an old hotel, two stories high and a painted darkly. Long tinted windows, double doors. Gorgeous, really…even the crumbling damage on the edges wasn't enough to ruin it.

All four got out, Jensen keeping his eyes on the motel as the others dug through the trunk.

"Crosses, holy water, stakes all around" Dean passed around each item, nervous but excited "Carry all your normal weapons too. These fuckers are fast and deceitful, and tonight's their feeding night. They've got humans in there, and we can't let those bastards eat them."

Sam loaded his handgun with blessed silver bullets, passing out the same bullets to the others, "They're weaker when they're hungry, but more animalistic."

They took a few moments to strap on concealed knives and put stakes on their belts. Flasks were filled with holy water, and each got a single cross.

With a chain of nods, they went in.

Sam threw open the doors with a push of his mind, the locks stood no chance against his powers.

It was a normal hotel, a lobby and a staircase that led to the second floor. It seemed empty, though there was presence of life. The TV near the couches was turned on to Headline News. There was an open book on the counter, pages yellowed with age. Almost all the lights were blown out, not a single bulb lit on the ceiling or the chandelier. It wasn't dark by any means, for there were several wall lamps lit. Every other lamp cast a silver glow, soft enough not to hurt the vampires sensitive eyes.

"I say we take the hostages and get the fuck out" Sam suggested lowly "Burn this thing to the ground."

"Yeah" Dean nodded, skilled eyes roaming over every inch around him "Find the hostages then. Everyone take a hall, kick open every door you need to."

"Key doors?" Jensen questioned, receiving a nod "Ok. I call the first floor, right hallway."

Jared glanced up, "I've got second floor, left hall."

"First floor, left hall" the Winchesters chimed in, exchanging looks. They did a quick round of rock-paper-scissors, Dean grinned when he won.

"Scissors cuts the fuck out of paper. Second floor, Sammy."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

"Children" Jared jabbed, though he was smiling when he pulled out his bronze gun and cocked it "Guns ready?"

Dean snickered as the group complied, "Look at Super Hunter. Ya get a pair of wings _and_ balls in that half-angel welcome basket?"

Jared rolled his eyes, "Your face, dude."

"Now who's the child, Jay?"

They split up, guns drawn and each going down their respective hallways.

()()()

Jared cast a glance back down the hall, observing Sam ducking into one of the rooms. Great, hiding vampires. Jared crept down the carpeted hall, gun down at his side. He tuned his ears for hushed voices and rustling, but nothing came to him. Being supernaturally sensitive didn't help him when it came to vampires, since the bastards were once human. Demons and spirits gave off a vibe that made the skin between his shoulder blades itch, but vamps didn't touch his senses.

There was a creak, but he wrote it off as the building being old and misused. This was a mistake for the half-angel, for in the next moment cold fingertips dug into the back of his neck and yanked. Jared didn't even let out a yelp before another hand clamped over his mouth. He found himself pulled backwards into the room, the door smashing shut in front of his eyes. His gun was ripped from his hands before he could fire, several pairs of hands dragging him down to the floor.

Five vampires hovered around him, gazing down in bloodlust and pure _need_.

"Little hunter" one of the girls purred, pretty except her lack of tan and bruised eyes "Silly hunter."

They started to giggle at him, eyes flashing and they pet his skin. One of the older men got greedy, hands sneaking under his shirt. The man dipped his head down, licking a wet strip over his torso. The chill of his tongue caused Jared's stomach to turn.

He clenched his eyes shut and searched for strength, jolting when the felt he pure heat of the power inside him. Could he use his half-angel abilities in combat? Was he even aloud to do such a thing? Surely they wouldn't work under such conditions? Well, he could sure as hell try. He summoned up the unadulterated anger he had felt when he had burnt Xander and Sam, letting it go this once.

"I'm sick and tired of you _monsters_ thinking you can manhandle me!" Jared yelled, the fingers in his hair twisting harder to expose his neck "I don't know what it is, but I'm not your plaything! I'm not the supernatural's bitch!"

Jared clenched his eyes shut, and when he reopened them…they glowed a beryl shade.

All five sets of hands ignited, the vampires screamed and pulled away as the flames licked at their skin. Jared got his bearings, seizing his gun off the floor and firing at the nearest one. A thin girl, not even eighteen, crumbled to dust before his eyes as he emptied an entire clip into her head.

The same handsy older man came at him, eyes flashing in the dim light and dark lips curled back in a snarl. The vampire high-kicked like a pro, the others laughing weakly when the empty gun flew from his hands. He lunged, and Jared did the only thing he could think of. The instinct came from deep within him, deeper than the Winchester hunting instincts.

Jared threw his hands up, his palms covering the vampire's face. His power pushed through, flowing through his fingertips and making them glow. The vamp screamed beneath his palm like old clay. Before he knew it, the man's face dissolved into ash beneath his hands and crumbled. The being's _entire_ body cracked and broke, collapsing into a pile of pewter shaded ash at his feet.

Jared gaped up at the vampires, noting their looks of shock and awe. One of the women dropped to her knees, muttering something in Latin and closing her eyes. A sense of…_something_ flowed through Jared at this. It felt as if he were being worshipped, admired…a God amongst vampires.

No, an Angel…a Half-Angel Among Commoners.

Jared didn't have to look at the wall to feel the shadows of his wings unfurl, a semi-relief. It felt amazing, almost as good as it would have felt to let them rip from his back. But here was not the place, he wouldn't put it past one of these fuckers to rip them from his back.

//Pfft…like I'd let them get close enough.//

"Shit" the only man left muttered, staggering back into the wall "It's not a hunter…it's an angel."

"A Hunter Angel" Jared cocked his head to the side, a wickedly deceitful smile splitting his face "Now on your knees where you belong, Filth."

The vampire and vampiress dropped to their knees on command..

The door suddenly flew open, revealing a dark eyes Sam with his hand raised. On pure instinct alone, Jared whipped towards the door and raised his own hand. The air sparked with the sudden clash of demon and angel, pitch eyes meeting glowing jouvence orbs. For a split second they almost lashed out at one another, but Jared gave in first and dropped his hand.

"Sammy" Jared softened his expression, relieved when his lover did the same "Watch me."

Jared turned to the last male vampire, the other two staring up at him in awe. Sam's eyes faded back to hazel as he observed, head cocked to the side. They widened in awe when his lover touched the man's forehead, ripping a hollow yell from his lips before he too crumpled to dust beneath his fingertips.

"I'm like Harry Potter" Jared held up his hands, palms forward and fingers wiggling. He got a blank look in return, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Like when he fought Quirrell to get the Philosopher's Stone?"

Sam's let out a soft 'oh' when he realized what his lover was talking about. In the next second, his eyes darkened and his hand flew up. Jared staggered backwards at the wave of power, but it was not aimed at him. One of the vampiress', the one not gaping at the shadow of his wings on the wall, had lunged at him. She flew back mid-air, as if slapped with a giant hand, and was knocked into the wall.

Jared sneered, all but punching the vampire on the her knees in the head…she crumpled to dust with several whimpers hanging in the air.

Sam threw a stake, guiding it with his power and landing it right in the other girls heart.

Once the immediate danger was gone, the glow faded from Jared's eyes. He slumped, the shadows on the wall dissolving.

"I'm getting better at that" Jared stated absently, shrugging at the confused look he got from his lover "I've been practicing in my spare time."

Sam's lips quirked almost hungrily, "I can see that."

A startled, male scream came from below them, the lobby.

Jared snagged his gun off the floor, reloading it with trembling fingers.

"Shit" Sam muttered, peering down the hall just as four more vampires stumbled out of the room.

The others would have to wait a bit more.

()

Dean kept his gun up and ready, jaw clenched. Vampires were a serious business, they weren't to be messed with. A nest could be five vampires or five dozen, it all depended. They had to be ready for anything, for any number. There were only four of them after all…but Sam was kind of like two people and he trusted the hunter/actors to hold their own.

Dean paused when he heard movement behind the third door, number 231. He held the gun up to the door, narrowing his eyes. There was a scuttle and a groaned _"I'm hungry"_, then a long pause before a hiss of _"A hunter…four hunters!"_

Dean kicked in the door, immediately spotting the bodies and firing thrice. He charged in, immediately set upon by one of the maimed females. Two bullets sent her on her ass, the other two shaking the stun. He pulled out a stake and straddled her, ignoring her bucking body in favor of stabbing her through. She jerked, but crumpled into ash beneath him.

Before he could celebrate, a solid forearm clamped over his neck and pulled. He staggered for just a moment, then growled and back-stabbed. The male vampire behind him screamed when the wood went through his stomach, but disappeared into nothingness when Dean tilted the stake and pushed higher into his blackened heart.

He snagged his gun off the floor, turning and firing his remaining rounds into the last vampiress' head before she could complete her lunge. She stumbled, wide-eyed and paralyzed. That is, until he stabbed out with his stake.

A scream reverberated from down the hall, from the lobby…

Dean reloaded, then cautiously left the room.

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause tonight…it's all about us**_


	38. Chapter 38

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {38-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN: **All of these scenes are kind of happening at the same time. This scene is happening while Dean's scene and Jared&Sam's scene are going on. And, my lovely readers, since my friend Corey pointed this out to me…we must remember these are blessed bullets.**)**

* * *

Jensen felt charged, he felt _ready_. His gun was up and ready, but he was a little anxious. He kicked in every locked door, announcing his presence to any vamp listening. It took four tries, but he eventually came face to face with one of them. It was a lanky guy, pale and surprised. With a well-placed spin kick, Jensen kicked the bastard right back into the room.

There were three of them all together, two other dark skinned pissed off women inside.

" 'Sup?" Jensen grunted, firing off two rounds that caught the vampiress' in the shoulders and made them scream "So, who's going to tell me where the grub is?"

"They're _ours_" one of the women hissed, eyes reflecting the light back at him as she doubled over on herself "We hunted them down. It is _our_ claim upon them!"

"Fuckin' vamps" Jensen muttered, unhesitant when the male lunged at him. He fired his remaining rounds into his heart with deadly accuracy, the vamp crumbled in mid-air. Jensen winced when a rain of dust fell upon him, the moment of distraction enough. The women went for him at the same time, getting on either side of him and ripping the stakes from his belt.

Jensen lashed out like a wild animal, palm striking one of them in the head while he gouged his once-concealed cross into the other's chest. The stench of burnt flesh assaulted his nose, the creature fell into a writhing heap on the floor. The slightly dazed girl-vamp charged at him again, but one good punch in the gut had her reeling. They really were weaker when they were hungry, the things were getting hurt by hits that would only usually hurt humans.

He looked around quickly, searching for a weapon. His stakes were way out of reach, but there was a handle sticking out from beneath one of the chairs. He launched himself at it, nearly tasting the vampiress at his heels. His fingers curled around the black-taped handle, pulling his savior out from beneath the worn seat.

Jensen whipped around gracefully, easily taking her head with the machete.

As the dust piled on the floor, Jensen held up the machete to admire it. Not as good as his own, but reasonable. Sprayed black, taped handle, but firm in place and light enough to maneuver. The screams of the last vampire shook him from his daze. He stepped through the ashes, the grit of dust biting his palms and staining his knuckles grey.

Jensen knelt down at her side, unfazed by the steam that rose from the cross hilt half-buried in her chest, "Just you and me now, Bloodless."

She sneered at him, eyes stuck in that other-worldly reflection, "You think you are so much better than us? You reek of taint!"

"Well, the way I see it" Jensen spoke casually, putting the machete to her belly and slowly gliding it into flesh with a firm pressure "You don't come back form Hell without something, you know? Like a bad smell, or an aftertaste…just gotta…"

She screeched when he suddenly plunged through, blade hitting the floor beneath her, "_Work through it_."

The vamp barely bled beneath his ministrations, effectively pinned to the floor by the machete that dug into the carpet and wood.

"Where are the hostages?" Jensen asked, voice a drawl. She squirmed, but merely grunted and kept her lips pressed tight. "Sweetheart, this can only go two ways: Tell me and die…or get tortured, tell me, and die."

"To Hell with you" she spat.

Jensen sighed, pulling the flask out of his belt, "_Fine_."

With careless grace, he poured it down the length of the cross. She broke in four seconds, arching and screaming and thrashing. He held her down with one hand, the other holding the flask precariously over her.

"Where are the humans?" he ground out, wincing as the smoke from her unholy body stung his eyes "Where are they?!"

A sound was ripped from him akin to a sob, "_Kitchen_."

"Was that so God-damn hard?" Jensen spat, pulling the machete from her belly before taking her head.

Jensen rose from his knees, triumphant. He snagged his gun off the floor, tucking the machete beneath his arm long enough to reload. With practiced movements, he slipped it back into it's holster. His flask returned to his belt as well, though empty now.

"Mission objective…" Jensen spoke to himself as he left the room, machete handle curled tight in his fist "Find hostages, kill vampires, free hostages, burn this fucker down. In that order. Repeat as necessary."

Jensen rant to he lobby, spotting the door of the kitchen tucked behind the front desk. He rushed at it, but was stopped when two vampires pushed their way through the door. He caught a glimpse of at least eight hostages, but the door swung shut before he could spot everyone back there.

Most likely, yes.

These two vamps were beyond speech, eyes and skin pale and fangs bared. They took him by surprise, getting two or three blows each before he fought back.

Jensen swung the machete true.

()

Inside the kitchen, six young girls were cowering. Bound by ropes, they were all but piled in the corner. The only man and a middle aged woman (close to 40) had wriggled away, the poor humans struggling for all they were worth. They were on their backs, arched and trying to undo the knots on their wrists. They had been chosen by the two vamps as first meal, but spared for the moment.

The man worked his gag off first, "You ok?"

She nodded, sputtering at her gag until it fell to the floor, "Yeah, _spectacular_. I'm as good as it gets under these circumstances."

"I'm Nick."

"Mary Elizabeth. How the hell did I get into this?"

"I think" he licked his dry lips, nervous despite his testosterone demanding he take charge and keep 'the women folk' safe "I think those were vampires."

"Not shit, Sherlock. What clued you in first? The skin or the fangs?" Mary muttered, managing to sit up despite the light ropes over her chest and abdomen "We have to get out of here, we have to get these little girls out of here."

"I get it" Nick grinned, his ties coming loose "I was a boy scout, you know."

"Fascinating" Mary grunted, slipping her wrists over her buttocks and past her legs until she had them in front of her. She bit and pulled at the ropes, taking advantage of the fact that the vampires viewed them as horribly weak and undeserving of well-tied bonds. The ropes fell like limp snakes to the floor, Nick's soon following. Mary managed to push and wriggle out of the rest of the restraints, getting to her feet easily. She looked around, spotting the knives on the counter and snatching one.

One of the girls whimpered when she approached, a wide-eyed brunette. Mary knelt and severed the girl's bonds, slapping the knife into her hand.

"Free everyone else" Mary instructed "Once everyone's free, get out of here. _Together_."

"Power in numbers!" Nick declared, but only got a dirty look for his efforts. He ducked his head, flushing and ridding himself of the rest of his bindings.

"The more there are of you, the less chance they'll get you all" Mary stated honestly the girl whimpered again "Ok?"

The brunette girl nodded, "Ok."

"Alright" Mary straightened, flipping her long braid of fiery hair over her shoulder "Nick, is it? Let's go."

Nick pushed up his cracked glasses, "Go where?"

Mary turned, giving him another filthy look.

He flushed darker, glaring back, "Don't look at me like that!"

"Then stop being stupid" Mary snarked back, one hand on her cocked hip while the other thumbed at the door "That leads to the lobby, to the entrance door. Now…do you want to get out of here or not? Cause I doubt Prince Charming is coming to rescue us on his off-white steed."

Nick gave a half smile, "Prince Charming is living with Mr. Right, you know."

The red head's brow creased, "_What_ in _the_ _hell_ are you going on about?"

"Sorry, bad joke" Nick conceded "I surf a lot of LiveJournal, the icons-"

Mary cut him off with an impatient wave of his hand, "Are you with me or not?"

Nick glanced at the girls as they slowly freed themselves, deciding that a vampire would far more likely go for them than himself, "Yeah, ok."

The sounds of a fight echoed from behind the door, full of fierce growls and the thump of flesh on flesh. Mary and Nick leaned in on each side, faces tense in concentration. Both went over tactics in their minds, but in the end the red head came up with the solution.

"Let's just run" Mary decided "Whoever they are, they're too busy and each other to bother with us. On three, 'kay?"

Nick nodded, silent.

"One…two…" Mary threw open the door "Fuckin' run for your life!"

Mary didn't get four steps out the door before her world ended.

()

Jensen took out the two vampires, though it took him some time. He had a gaping wound on his side, blood poured from it like molasses. He was a little bruised, but nothing as serious as his hip. He curled an arm around his stomach, hand clamped down on the wound to try and stop himself from bleeding out in a _vampire nest_.

And wouldn't that just be the way to go?

Jensen was panting to the point of hyperventilation, pupils blown and adrenaline still burning white-hot in his veins. He went on high alert, knowing his nectar would bring any vamps in the building running here with bells on. He'd take 'em all, damn it! He wasn't some weak little brat anymore! He'd been to Hell, he'd been all over the country, he'd gotten possessed and thrown around…touched by Fay and rattled around by witches. He was a true hunter now, no doubt about it.

Going back to his old life was not an option.

The door to the kitchen flew open, a man and a woman running out. Jensen grit his teeth and hissed out the word _vampire_, raising his machete once more. The woman was wide-eyed and gaping at him, torn between shock and fear. He took her head just as easily -_if not strangely easier_- than her counterparts. Warm blood spurted from the wound like a geyser, bathing him. It satisfied his need to kill, nearly sating him.

The male vampire screamed as loudly as he could, staggering away from the scene in horror. Jensen couldn't stop the cruel laughter that bubbled up from deep within him. Let them be scared! He was just a human, and here the vamps were…terror-stricken! It stroked his ego more than he'd like to admit to see wide ultramarine eyes staring at him in adulterated horror.

And the poor thing just kept _screaming_.

"Come here, coward" Jensen spat, swinging the machete downward to fling the excess blood. He didn't bother to wipe the crimson from his face or arms, didn't pay it a single thought. The scared, scrawny-looking vampire shook his head, turning to run.

Jensen lashed out, yanking it by his it's shoulder to face him. He popped it square in the jaw, knocking the delicate spectacles from his face. The vamp grunted, taking the hit as best he could. Jensen moved his hand up, gripping him by the scruff of his neck like a kitten and shaking him.

Without a word, Jensen brought the vamp closer and rammed the machete straight through his abdomen.

The man choked pathetically, arching briefly before slumping against the Texan's form. Jensen's sense of triumph slowly faded, reality hitting him as the man bled out over his hand. He pulled the blade from the body, letting the "vampire" fall to the floor in a heap.

Blood…vampires didn't bleed under death blows. These two weren't pale, their eyes didn't flash in the light. Jensen whipped around the to the female's body, the red haze lifting from his vision so he could see how the corpse pooled and bubbled blood from it's open flesh. The body shouldn't even be there! The man -_boy, actually_- he had just stabbed was whimpering and bleeding onto the carpet. His body had been warm against him, fragile. They had been afraid, they had run _from the kitchen_.

"Oh God" Jensen breathed, the machete falling from his limp fingers to land half in the blood pool on the floor. He clapped a hand over his mouth, dust and blood staining his lips as his emerald eyes went as wide as saucers.

The man on the floor rolled onto his back, blood flowing down his chin.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God!" Jensen pulled his hand from his mouth, his words spoken with such guilt and conviction heavy on his tongue "They're _human_."

Jensen fell to his knees, clamping both his hands over the boy's bleeding belly. Blood bubbled up through his fingers and past his palms, staining his skin a sick, dark damask shade.

"Don't die!" Jensen begged "Don't die, _please_! I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'm so sorry! Please, I didn't _know_! I didn't know you were human! Don't die!"

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about, all about us**_


	39. Chapter 39

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {39-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

Sam and Jared ran down the stairs together, a gun in the half-angel's hand and a stake in the hunter's. Dean ran out and met them at the bottom, looking them over and assessing that they were fine. Their eyes went towards the front desk where the screaming had been coming from. There was a sight there none of them could ever unsee.

A headless corpse lay in a pool of fresh blood, it's severed head not even three feet away. A woman, pretty…long braid curled around his jaw and eyes blank. Jensen -_their Jensen_- was kneeling on the floor, covered in dust and blood, particles of dead vampire clung to his t-shirt and hair like snow. Blood droplets dotted his face, his shirt, his arms, his neck…the droplets were smeared around his mouth to create a scarlet stain. There was a discarded machete half seeped in blood near the actor.

"No…no…" Jensen whispered desperately.

The human jerked once more, then went limp.

Hot tears flowed down Jensen's face, two lines of clean skin revealed in their path.

"God, I'm sorry" Jensen curled in on himself, forearms braced on the corpse "Forgive me."

"Jensen!" Dean barked, eyes wide on the scene "Did you do this?"

Jensen shot up, staring at them like a scared doe, "I…guys, I…I didn't know. I thought they were…"

Six terrified, young women burst through the kitchen door, screaming all the way out the front doors.

Jared nudged his lover, "Let's go settle them, get them home."

"Yeah" Sam looked over at his brother, passing along two full bottles of accelerant and a pack of matches "This place is old, Dean…it'll burn fast and easy."

"Yeah" Dean echoed, eyes never leaving his lover as he accepted the items "Take the car and get those girls home, come back for us after."

Sam nodded, knowing it needed to be done.

()

Somehow, Sam and Jared squeezed all the girls into his car in one trip.

All the girls today were so tiny…

Dean was going about the hotel, leaving a trail of lighter fluid along the halls and into each room. He used one bottle for the floors, the other for walls and curtains. He doused almost anything that seemed flammable with the substance…he wasn't leaving any chance of keeping this thing standing.

When he circled back, Jensen was still kneeling in puddle of congealed blood with the cooling body stiff before him. His emerald eyes were blank, arms curled around his waist almost protectively. He was in a state of shock, that was for sure.

Dean wasn't having it.

"Get up" Dean commanded, grabbing the man beneath his arm and hauling him to his feet. Jensen whined in protest, but didn't fight his lover. Dean all but dragged him outside, leaving a trail of lighter fluid in their wake. It was even darker outside than before, the moon and stars hiding behind wisps of clouds. Dean didn't hesitate, he took his lover a bit away in the grass and let him collapse there.

"Stay."

Jensen only nodded, not bothering to make a smartass comment about him not being a dog.

Dean circled around the hotel, using the remaining bottle to douse the elegant walls from the outside. He kept his mind clear, a sort of hunter-autopilot. And when he was finally satisfied? He started lighting matches and throwing them into the windows, and he found true satisfaction in the whoosh that accompanied spark-meets-accelerant. By the time he came back around to the front, there was already a healthy glow from the inside.

Dean lit the entire booklet on fire for the grand finale, throwing it inside the double doors before slamming them shut.

The Winchester winced at the heat that flowed out of the building, quickening his step off the doused porch and into the grass.

Jensen was still on the ground, arms around his waist and face pale. He subconsciously moved closer to Dean, his shoulder brushing the hunter's leg. Dean hesitated for a moment, then brought his hand down into the nest of flaxen tinted locks. His lover's hair had grown out since they met, though in the most beautiful way. He would never admit to anyone but Jensen the pleasure he got from running his fingers through the soft mane, either stroking it sweetly or fisting it in passion. He wasn't really picky.

Jensen's voice wavered, "Dee?"

"Yeah?" Dean grunted.

Jensen swallowed thickly, "Jay and I…we're never going back to work again, are we?"

Dean didn't have it in him to lie, "No, Jensen…I don't think so."

()

The ride back to the motel was silent.

Jensen tried not to move too much, carefully seated on several towels so as not to ruin the upholstery. His own idea. Dean had insisted that semen and blood came off with a wipe of cloth against the vinyl, but Jensen wasn't taking any chances. None of them knew that the blood staining the side of his shirt was his own. He kept an arm firmly clamped over it, trying to seem casual but failing. Jared kept giving him strange looks from across the seat, head tilted and eyes knowing.

But Jensen just ignored it with a broken smile.

They soon pulled into the parking lot of the motel Sam had set them up in.

Not the moment did they get into the room, Dean grabbed his shoulder tightly and all but shoved the Texan into the bathroom.

Dean's words were curt and clipped with frustration, "Scrub the blood off."

_Scrub the __**human**__ blood off._

"Yes, sir" Jensen muttered, any sarcasm he may have was eaten up by guilt and obedience. He staggered into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door before he stripped down. He eased behind the white curtain, keeping his side from view.

The others weren't looking at him, though…they were looking at each other.

"Are you ok?" Dean voiced.

'We're fine" Sam replied, shucking off his coat and throwing it on a nearby chair "Jared went angel and dusted some of the vamps with just a touch."

Dean flashed the Texan a real smile, "Good work, Jay."

"Thanks" Jared shrugged "We're a little bruised and dusty, but we'll heal. Jen, on the other hand…"

A silence settled so hard it nearly knocked the half-angel over, he realized too late that he shouldn't have said it. But the Winchesters realized quickly that they couldn't ignore something like this.

"He killed those two humans" Dean spoke first "He killed them in cold blood because…I don't know."

Sam scrubbed a hand over his mouth, "Well, he obviously didn't mean to do it on purpose. That was _real_ remorse, those were _real_ tears."

"I know that, Sam!" Dean barked, then put himself in check and managed to soften his voice "I _know_, ok?"

"He's still our Jensen" Jared's voice was firm, though reasonable "I don't care what you guys are thinking. So what if he's been to Hell? He didn't come back a cold-blooded killer."

Dean opened his mouth to reply, but a solid thunk cut him off. He was in the bathroom in a moment, pulling his knife from his boot and gripping it in an offensive position. He ripped back the curtain, ready to attack.

All he found was his poor Jensen, collapsed on the floor of the tub. He had his eyes screwed shut and his lower lip clamped between his teeth, fight off pain. He was all but curled up against the wall, a drawn out whine drifting past the roar of the water that descended upon him. His hair was plastered over his forehead and face like a ten year old that had been caught in the rain on the way to the bus stop. Jensen's arm was circled over his waist so his hand could press over the curve of his waist, blood seeping through the lines of his fingers only to be washed away by the shower.

The entire base of the tub was stained pink.

The knife dropped to the tiles, the hunter immediately shutting off the water.

"Jensen?" Dean got in the tub, pulling the boy to him with one hand while the other pried at his bone-white hand "Let me see it, Jensen…let me see…"

Dean winced at the sight of the gash along his lover's waist, immediately putting his hand back over it.

"Hang on" Dean grabbed a thick towel from the steel rack, throwing it over his shoulder "Ok, come on."

Dean easily picked the slighter man up into his arms. Same age, ate the same amount…yet Jensen seemed to remain at _least_ twenty pounds too light. Dean carried him into the bedroom where Jared was already laying out a pair of sweats and boxers from his best friend's duffle.

Sam looked him over and cringed, "What happened?"

"He's wounded and didn't tell me" Dean all but growled, carefully laying his lover out on the bed "Stay awake, ok Jen? It's just some blood loss. Fight off the dizziness and stay awake for me?"

Jensen nodded slowly, "Mm-hmm."

"Good" Dean ran the towel over the actor's body, giving him a quick dry to keep him from soaking the bed. Once he was placated in his task, he grabbed the clothes and slid them up his lover's legs.

Jensen's arms uncurled from his waist with only a touch of Dean's hand, revealing the wound. It was inflamed around the edges, a clean cut probably from a hidden knife. Raw flesh was exposed, thankfully not deep enough to reveal organ or bone. Without a word, Jared handed Dean the first aid kit.

"You could have bled out in there" Dean spoke lowly, pointedly not giving his lover any sort of alcohol other than the kind he washed over the wound "You could have died."

Jensen hissed and tried to wriggle away from the burn, but Dean held him down with a single hand on his hip.

"Give me one good reason not to call Cas down here" Dean threaded the needle, eyes hard "Just one."

Jensen cracked his eyes open, "I didn't…"

"Too late."

Castiel appeared at the end of Sam's bed, nearly right beside the younger hunter. No one flinched, not even a little. Castiel looked like shit, ragged and world-weary. Surely an angel shouldn't look so hurt?

"Cas" Jensen rolled his head towards the dark haired angel, eyes bleary "I didn't think you'd ever come back for me."

"Jensen Ross" Castiel went from burdened to infuriated, hair nearly standing on end "You do not even care anymore, do you? I spent the past thirty years guarding your soul, keeping it and you safe and as pure as the driven snow. I've beat demon after demon off you, and this is how you repay me?! Repay Heaven!? And now…you start tossing it around on a whim! You have no respect for-!"

Castiel deflated at the sight of his change trembling upon the coverlet, tears burning down his cheeks.

"I didn't know they were human" Jensen pleaded, desperation making his voice raw "They came out of the kitchen, I thought they were vampires. I didn't even think they…"

Jensen sniffed, giving the angel a hard look, "I'm sorry, I was bloodthirsty and I couldn't pull my head out of my ass long enough to see the through it. Is my guilt not enough? Must you punish me further?"

Castiel dropped his eyes, conceding.

"I'm sorry" Jensen winced as the needle pierced the skin, his lover sewing back up his skin without hesitation "I knew you were mad, I didn't want to piss you off any more than I had to. I didn't know I was going to get so dizzy…"

"It's because you lost about a pint of blood, Jensen Ross" Dean scolded him firmly, though he gentled his touch a little "I hope you've learned your lesson."

"Yeah, forgive me?"

Dean gave his soulmate a small, true smile, "Always."

Jensen turned his face to the angel again, eyes entreating, "Do _you_, Castiel?"

"Of course, my little one" Castiel gave in and walked over to the bed, gracefully sitting down upon the not-so-plush surface. He reached out to his charge, wiping away the spare tears left upon the cheeks. Jensen's lashes fluttered at the touch, warmth running through him to numb the pain of thread and steel in his skin.

"You know I didn't mean it, right?"

Castiel gave a single nod, "I know, Jensen."

Emerald eyes looked up at him in trepidation, "Does God know?"

Castiel stiffened at this, "I…do not know."

Everyone went a little tense at this.

"Done" Dean declared, cutting the thread and tying it off "Hold still for another minute."

The hunter began to tape and gauze the wound.

"Hell is such a twisted, wicked place" Castiel seethed, standing up from the bed and pacing farther across the room "I wish none of you would ever have to experience it again."

"Well, we won't" Jared stated with an ease that said he knew what he spoke of was true "Sam and I haven't done anything, and Dean's repented."

The older Texan nodded, "My trip was by choice, I'm not condemned."

Castiel turned to them, face pulled into that lost puppy face he could do without meaning to, "I'm sorry that it has happened, Jared. It was before you were around to guide him, just months before. But we do not pretend that it did not happen."

Jared's brow creased, "What happened?"

Castiel's brow creased, "When Sam sold his soul. I thought you knew, Jared."

"Sam!" Jared turned to the gaping hunter, worry and rage chasing themselves across his young face "You did _what_?"

"I didn't sell my soul" Sam stated, as if offended.

"Yes, you did" Castiel countered easily "It was not two months into Dean's confinement. You were intoxicated, you summoned a Crossroads demon, and you offered your soul in exchange for Dean's."

All eyes went to Sam, who's eyes were bugged like he'd just seen a ghost (what a horribly inaccurate expression.)

"No, no!" Sam protested loudly "I didn't…well, I did, but-"

"Shit, Sam" Dean smacked his palm to his forehead, exasperated.

"But it didn't go through!" Sam waved his hands, flushed now in shame at the disappointment he saw in his brother's (and his boyfriend's) eyes "I was too drunk! I didn't do it right, cause the demon just called me an idiot and I killed him! He said he didn't have the authority to make the deal, so it was never officially made!"

Dean scoffed, "Of course it was made, Sammy. It's the Winchester Curse: we get down, we get drunk, we make deals we can't keep."

Sam looked over at the angel imploringly, "But the demon never said he accepted the deal."

Castiel made a face, "Oh, I'm sorry the _demon lied_ to you, Samuel."

"Don't be glib!" Jared snapped, advancing on the dark haired angel and seizing a fistful of beige lapel "If this were true, why didn't Dean come back from Hell that instant?"

"If you'd let me explain…"

Jared winced and let the angel go, obviously surprised at his own aggression, "I'm sorry."

"Heaven was first alerted to Dean's trip to Hell by Sam's exchange" Castiel began passively "I was only successful in retrieving him _because_ his soul no longer belonged there. Otherwise, Hell would have conquered me. I am not made of the right material to withstand it."

"So when Sam dies…" Jared rasped, staggering backwards until his legs hit the bed "…he's going to Hell."

Castiel's eyes rested softly upon him, "Yes."

"I can't go to Hell!" Sam protested vehemently "I haven't done _anything_ wrong or unholy!"

Castiel cocked his head, "Oh really Samuel? Nothing?"

Sam briefly looked down at the floor in shame, "…nothing worth going to Hell for."

"He'll just repent, like the rest of us" Jensen sat up gingerly, his lover's strong arm supporting him along the base of his back "That's work…right Castiel?"

"Usually it wouldn't work like that" Castiel stated "But the you killed the Crossroads demon right after the deal, right?"

Sam nodded eagerly.

"Apparently the deal was withheld even beyond it's death" the angel knew if such a thing could happen, it would be to the Winchesters "It's rare, but it can happen under certain circumstances. When it does happen, the soul remains condemned but free of the one year limitation. If the soul -_Samuel_- can redeem himself…"

The angel seemed thoughtful, "I suppose, if he's good…he can get back into His good graces. But it is not up to me."

Sam glared, "I'm not a damn dog."

Castiel bit back his bitter retort, keeping his face neutral, //Then quit acting like a mutt.//

Jared quietly sat down upon the bed, crestfallen, //My Sammy's going to Hell.//

"Yeah, I'll just do some _more_ good deeds" Sam hooked his thumbs in the back pocket of his jeans, nonchalant "No big deal."

Jared wanted to scream and rant at his lover for such words, but he simply tuned the world out. He stared passively down at his hands, brilliant Nile green orbs shiny with unshed tears.

Both Castiel and Sam knew it was impossible to repent at this point.

_**TBC**_

_**There's a thing that they can't touch**_


	40. Chapter 40

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {40-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

**(AN**: I saw the current recent episode '_Lucifer's Rising_' and I now know the universal truth. Bobby Singer is God and all that is Good and Just in the World. He is the shizz, and my soul is his to do whatever he wants with [but he'll have to share it with Misha Collins.] Just so everyone knows.**)**

* * *

It was raining…it always seemed to be raining lately.

Jared was sitting cross-legged at the foot of their bed, hands folded on his knee and eyes on the carpet. There was a near-constant roll of thunder outside, the clouds so thick they were blue-grey against the night sky. It was a building storm out there, one that would sweep over this county like a plague when it built up enough strength. It seemed to be waiting for a sacrifice, like an impatient heathen God.

Jared was so still and so quiet, yet the others slept on. Dean's breaths had roughened to the point of snores, but it wasn't anything Jared wasn't used. Coupled with Jensen's light sighs, it was comforting. The sounds of home, of security, of family.

Jared looked over his shoulder at his lover, sadness etched deep into his eyes. His beautiful Sammy…all tan skin and thick muscle now. So handsome, and all his…until today. Now Jared knew that his lover's soul wasn't all his like it was meant to be…it belonged to Hell.

And wasn't that just the most unjust thing he'd heard in years?

This man was the other half of his soul…the half that was stolen from him before his birth and replaced with a piece of Samuel Winchester's soul instead. They were bonded on a spiritual level, a deeper level than they could bond with anyone else. They went beyond anyone else…beyond Jared's friendship with Jensen, beyond Sam's blood bond with his brother. They came first to each other, first and foremost in hearts and minds. Blood was blood…but soul-strings were thicker and more durable.

And now Hell threatened to pull them apart forever.

The rain stopped, but the storm wasn't stopping…just moving on.

Jared stood from the bed and got dressed, knowing again what he had to do. He pulled on Sam's coat, inhaling the scent gratefully to draw strength. He grabbed his shoes, pausing for just a moment to look Sam over again.

He wished desperately to wake his lover, to talk this over. Together, maybe they could fix this. But Jared knew that Sam would never be able to repent, not with the demon blood so hot in his veins. If he woke up Sam, Dean and Jensen wouldn't be so far behind. And if he allowed that to happen, they would never let him leave…never even consider the option he saw.

Jared decided, then slipped out of the room.

No one would know until it was too late.

()

Jared didn't dare take the Impala, he had never driven her and wasn't about to steal her either. That was an Unforgivable, and he couldn't bring himself to break it. Funny, though…considering what he was about to do. He hadn't even given her a look, just went down the road.

_Sam was going to Hell._

His long legs ate up the miles like a greedy kid with candy, hands shoved deep into his pockets and breath coming in half crystallized breaths. The rain had left the road slick, wet gravel and mud squelching beneath his feet. The storm was still thick in the air, palpable, bitter on his tongue. And it was cold…but it was always cold now, wasn't it? Sometimes he almost wished they would start heading south again, but north meant Canada and that's where Jensen and himself would have to be in less than thirty days.

God, only thirty days left.

_Sam was going to Hell._

But really, Jared wasn't even sure they were going to go back to work anymore.

They weren't even human, not truly in the sense that they had been. He was now half-angel, and Jensen had been to Hell. Fuck, his poor Jen was now a hardened hunter above all else. A perfect match for Dean in every way, taking every stride from hunting to womanizing and pushing for more.

_Sam was going to Hell._

Jared shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought but failing. His step quickened, he tightened the coat around him like a protective blanket. With the musk of Sam filling his nose, he could do this. He could take that strength and make it his own, for his half-angel power was dong him on good at the moment. Every speck of angel essence within him was screaming at him to turn around and run back, that this was not the way. But the whole of him that belonged to Sam, that was nothing short of his slave, was stronger and more determined. He screamed back at the angel that if he didn't do this, no one else would.

And the thunder rolled above him, clouds shifting over one another in waves.

He reached the crossroads an hour and a half later, panting and more than frightened out of his wits.

Jared looked around with cautious eyes, knowing the danger he could be in alone. Now that he knew of the power he radiated, he was in much more peril than a human would be without the constant salt lines of protection around him. Nothing and no one for miles in every direction, the motel now out of sight thanks to a few dips and curves in the winding back roads. The area was clear of trees and brush, just barren dirt and hills in the very background. If he squinted, maybe he could see the motel…

Jared calculated the distance in his mind, he must have been a bit less than twenty miles away from his lover…his Sam. Would the distance be enough to stop the visions he would surely get? Like those when he left to go to that club?

For the sake of their futures, he hoped so.

Jared braced himself in the very center of the crossroads, half-praying a semi-truck would come and end it all for him. But the decision was already made in his mind, he had come much too far to give up now.

He lifted his wrist to his mouth, brushing his lips across the cool metal of his bonding bracelet.

//For you, Sammy.//

Jared spoke the name that he swore to himself twelve years ago he would never utter, "_Ryanimay_."

The wind did not pick up, the air did not leave his lungs, and no grand invisible orchestra played the introduction of _Sweeney Todd_ in the background. Nothing.

Jared began to grow frustrated, turning every which way, "Ryanimay? Ryanimay, you fucker! I know you can hear me! You told me to call you when I got desperate…"

Jared paused, huffing bitterly and smirking for anyone to see, "Well guess what, demon-breath? I'm desperate now."

What Jared didn't expect was what he got, a breathy whisper in the dark.

"I can see that, Jared."

Jared turned, nearly jumping. He closed his eyes, calming his heart. He summoned the demon, he wasn't aloud to be scared now.

When he opened them, Ryanimay was there before him. He was different from his youth, not so large anymore. Hell, Jared had at least at least two and a half inches on him. The demon stood there at the edge of the crossroads rather innocently, hands folded behind his back and head tilted. His hair was still ebony underneath the blonde/crimson dye, falling over one side of his face and shadowing the other half. He had on these dark jeans that clung to his form…a long sleeved black shirt underneath a tan t-shirt covered in ebony tribal designs.

Smooth shaven and caramel skinned, handsome.

"Little Jared" the demon stepped closer, looking him over as well "Not so little anymore."

"Ryanimay."

"Please" the demon held up his hand "Call me Ryan."

"Ryan, then" Jared rose himself up to his full height, refusing to be intimidated "You're a Crossroads demon, right? You can…exchange favors for souls?"

"Yes, I can do that" Ryan replied honestly "I can do a lot more as well."

"Sam's going to Hell" Jared cut to it "I'm not gonna let that happen."

"And what will _you_ do?" Ryan inquired, more curious than taunting "_You_…a mere half-angel."

"Maybe that's all I am, or all I'll ever be…" Jared looked up at the sky overhead "But at least I'll have Sam. I won't give him to Hell, not so easily. I want…to exchange my soul for his."

Ryan choked on his breath, eyes etched in disbelief. He started to circle around the young man, eyes unseeing on his form as he thought. He had never thought Jared would get this far, this desperate. Sure, he had known Samuel was going to Hell for changing his soul for Dean's…but he was sure the others hadn't known about it. He pursed his lips, truly thinking it over.

"It will be tricky" Ryan spoke as if he was actually considering it "You share equal halves of the others souls. If I were to do this, when you died…it would surely kill Sam as well. Not only would you be taking the soul you have inside yourself, but the half embedded in him as well."

Jared pursed his lips, "At least he'll go to Heaven."

Ryan kept circling, eyes now on the ground. Could he really do this?

The consequences…Ryan paused, closing his eyes. Castiel would never forgive him, Heaven would never forgive him. Jared was infused with angel essence, damn it! Castiel had said he hadn't done anything unforgivable yet…this fell under that category. If he condemned Jared's soul to Hell, someone would come after him for sure. Whether it be Uriel or -_gulp_- Zachariah himself, he didn't know.

To send an half-angel to Hell…

"Is this going to be like Dean?" Jared questioned "Do I have a year? A month? When will the Hellhounds come for me?"

"Hush, you dramatic child" Ryan hissed "What do you take me for? A common demon? If I even agree to this, you will die when you die. I will send nothing for you, I am not a monster."

Jared made a face, "How are you different from any other Crossroads demon?"

"_He questioned softly why I failed? 'For beauty,' I replied…'And I for truth - the two are one; We brethren are,' he said_" Ryan recited on a whim, the poem one of his favorites and relevant to this situation "Now shut up, I'm thinking."

//Castiel will never take me back// Ryan continued mentally //No more than he already has. Would I lose him over this? It's not as if I'm damning his Jensen's soul…or his newly precious Dean. This is just Jared, his charge's best friend. But it's also a half-angel.//

"That's enough!" he snapped loudly, driving his palm into his forehead.

Jared jumped at his, staggering away from the demon.

"Do you really want this?" Ryan circled the man again, voice low "Would you really give anything for your Samuel? Does he _deserve_ such a gift?"

"He's my Sammy" Jared ducked his head "I'd do anything for him. If I can't keep him out of the Darkness…I can at least keep him out of Hell."

"You love him that much?" Ryan lingered just over the actor's shoulder, a smile curling his lips "Then Jared…you and I really are the brethren of Beauty and Truth."

Jared turned on him, eyes narrowed, "How could we be similar?"

"You watch your lover slip into darkness, to the wrong side" Ryan was nearly laughing now "As do I…though I think I enjoy it much more than you."

Jared pursed his lips, unsure what to say.

"Yes, Jared, I'll grant you your request" Ryan stepped away gracefully, letting his thumbs hook into his front pockets "I'll take your soul and exchange it for Sam's, and when your times comes you'll be going to Hell in his place. Do you agree to this accord and accept all it's conditions and consequences?"

Jared's head nearly spun from the quick pace of it all. He had either envisioned this going extremely quickly or drawn out for hours, he had expected pain and harsh words. This demon seemed almost…civil, if not even hesitant.

"I do" Jared nodded.

"Then Sam's soul -even though no longer bound by contract- will be released from it's inevitable hold" the fallen angel's eyes blazed a bright gold, his grin feral as he reached back into his belt. He pulled out a hidden athame, bringing it up to be seen properly. Jared's breath hitched, but he stood his ground.

Ryan cut a line down the palm of his own hand, then reached out for the actor, "Give me your hand, Jared."

The honey brunette chewed at his lower lip, fingers trembling as he raised his hand for the taking, "Is this going to hurt?"

Ryan let out a barked chuckle, "Oh yes, sweetling. Brace yourself."

Ryan seized the man's palm with his free hand, digging the knife into it mercilessly. Jared let out a hiss of complaint, his blood bubbling up in trail of the steel.

Without warning, he slapped their bleeding palms together.

Jared's scream was long and loud in the still night. His knees buckled, his head tilted back as pure fire shot up his arm. The blood connection hurt worse than anything before, even the coming through of his wings. Speaking of, long shadows of his innocence unfurled along the ground and showed themselves. Jared collapsed to his knees, their hands still joined.

Ryan took no pleasure from his suffering, feeling as if he were damning them both. He kept the connection, holding fast as the boy thrashed from the pain. Tears burned paths down Ryan's cheeks, highlighted by the golden glow from his eyes. He shouldn't have done this…but he vowed long ago he would give help to any who were desperate enough to ask.

Castiel would never forgive him.

Years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds later…he let go.

Jared curled up on himself on the ground, the shadows cast by his wings flexing wildly across the dirt. He was whimpering without his consent, eyes clenched shut as he fought off the pain. The fire faded from his limbs, too slow for his liking and painfully at that.

Ryan was panting now, staggering away from the youth as he felt the deal finalized in his blood. Sam would be coming for him, he knew it deep down. He could only go and lay in wait, because there would be no way to outrun the demon-blooded Winchester.

Not even a Fallen Angel could fight destiny, what was meant to be would come to pass.

With his vision, he could see that there were little choices left that could change the ultimate fate they had laid out for themselves. Maybe, just maybe, if his love was strong enough…Castiel could save him from what he knew was going to come.

"You asked for this" Ryan rasped, rubbing at the section of his shirt over his heart "Remember that Jared. You _asked_ for this…and the world will suffer for your choice."

And then he was gone, leaving the youth alone and scared.

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know (ah ah)It's all about us (all about us)**_


	41. Chapter 41

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {41-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

Sam dreamed of fire.

_It was Dean's childhood bedroom, not his nursery. How Sam knew this, he wasn't sure. But from the look and feel, it was the bedroom of a four year old. There, on the bed, lay Jared. His Jared -__**his lover**__- fast asleep upon the (too large for a four year old) bed. Laying there in those old bleached out jeans and Sam's favorite __**Quiet**__**Riot**__ t-shirt, he could not look more innocent if he was sucking his thumb._

_A pain shot through his gut, an invisible metal hook over and behind his navel and __**pulled**__. Sam knew then it was his soul -__**their soul**__- and it was being bound._

_Just like that, fire erupted in a circle around the bed. Jared sat up instantly, eyes wide and reflecting the flames. He tried to get out of the bed and away, but the flames roared higher. He screamed and jerked away, huddled and frightened upon the mattress. As suddenly as the flames, those gorgeous ivory wings ripped through his back and through his shirt. They stretched out to their full width, immediately singed by the flames. Jared let out a shriek, they folded back close to him on instinct. _

_Sam was there now, in the doorway, watching._

"_Sam!" Jared reached out for him, image flickering in and out of focus from the fames "Sammy!"_

_Sam inched closer, squinting through the flames. He had to get to him, he had to get to him __**now**__ before it was too late. He looked on in unabashed horror as a shadow crept up the wall behind the bed, similar to those of the Davea. It's long claws extended out along the surface, coming out in spidery wisps to close over his wings. Jared thrashed and flexed, kicking out as he was tugged back towards the wall._

_Sam's very soul burned, "Jared, don't let him-!"_

_But he had realized too late, had seen it too late. The lovely wings were ripped from his lover's back in slow motion, crimson staining ivory feathers and bones cracking loudly. It was sickening and fascinating all at the same time, Jared arching and screaming in protest as his Grace was taken from him._

"_No…" Sam pleaded for it not to be true, the boy left broken and weak and so damn __**human**__ upon the bedspread "No! Give it back! He hasn't done anything!" _

_But shadow didn't give a fuck. Those claws came out again, seizing the boy by the shoulders and dragging him towards the wall. Jared didn't put up much a fight, bottle green eyes on Sam and teary._

"_S-Sammy?"_

_Sam took the opportunity and lunged over the flames, gritting his teeth through the fire and the way it licked. He landed on the bed with a thump, wheezing as the overbearing heat pressed in on him from all sides. Thick like a woolen blanket in the middle of summer, smothering him. His eyes watered, his mouth was dry, and all he could think to do was grope blindly for his lover and scream "Jared!" over and over. _

_When Sam managed to crack his eyes open, he found himself alone upon the bed._

_The flames died away, lowering until they were a half-assed ring of smoldering embers. The room went calm and quiet again, half-lit by the wall light instead of fire. Sam panted for breath, easing up on his hands and knees. There wasn't a speck of evidence that Jared was ever there, not a feather nor honey hair._

_Sam grinned, a giggle of hysteria leaving him. It was nothing. Nothing at all. No Azazel. No fire. No ultimate doomed destiny to come down upon them all like the ton of proverbial bricks._

_Sam flipped into a half-sit, mostly up on his elbows and half on his back. He gave the room a real once over, lips still curled up. _

_Before he could revel in how dorky his big brother's room looked, Sam felt something brush his hair He pulled a face, shaking off the feeling. Droplets fell upon his thigh, scarlet seeping into the denim. Hazel eyes widened in fear, droplets falling upon his shoulders and chest. Sam sat up further, reaching back and feeling the stick warmth there._

_He rubbed his fingertips in front of his eyes…__**blood.**_

_Sam tilted his head back, instantly horrified._

_His Jared, there…pinned to the ceiling like Jess and his own mother. Bottle green eyes were glazed, lips parted but silent. He was sliced open along the width of his stomach, dripping down upon the bed like hesitant rain. Sam gaped at him, heart seized in a steel fist as blazing rage ripped through him._

"_Jared!"_

_A shaky gasp of breath, lips curled around the word __**Sam**__._

…_a single feather drifted down…flames erupted…_

()

Sam sat up, chest heaving and sweat slicking his chest and brow. It took almost half a minute, but his eyes adjusted to the gloom around him. He wiped at his face, groaning to try and pull himself back to reality. He was in their cheap motel room, the rain had softened to a light drizzle. These parts of the US seemed to get a lot of rain, even in the summer.

When Sam calmed, he had a stray thought about the maybe the rain followed them.

"Jay, man" Sam whispered dazedly, he didn't want to wake his brother or Jensen with his problem "I just had _the worst_ nightmare ever. You were…Jared?"

Sam reached out for his lover, finding himself alone in the motel bed. He went from unstable to angry in less than a second. He shot off of the bed, barely managing to pull on a pair of sweats before he reached out for his brother. Dean awoke a second before his shoulder was seized, grunting as he was shaken.

"_What_?" Dean released his lover's waist, turning to face his pissed off brother "It's like three in the morning, dude. God better be here in a pink tu-tu and bunny ears offering chocolate eggs and doing the hustle…or I just might have to punch you in the face."

"Jared's gone."

That got Dean sitting up, digging a palm into his eyes, "How long?"

"About two hours ago."

The soft utterance surprised them, both Winchesters locked their eyes on Jensen. The actor's eyes were open, his hand half buried under his head as he seemed to watch the rain kiss against the window.

"He left when the rain died off" Jensen continued "The thunder rolled for a while, passed over us. Even when this rain started, he didn't come back."

"Did he say where he was going?" the younger hunter questioned.

"No."

"Well _shit_" Dean swung his legs out over the side of the bed, reaching for his jeans "Let's go look for him. There's nothing around here for miles, he's not getting far."

"No."

"What do you mean _no_?" Dean gave his brother a curious look "You're not worried-?"

'Whatever happened…" Sam fought off the image of his beautiful Jared gutted and pinned to the ceiling "It's over. There's nothing we can do. We'll just have to wait."

Jensen sat up in the bed, pulling the covers up around his shoulders, "So we're just going to leave him out there? On his own?"

Sam couldn't think of any other response than a nod.

()()()

Jared had no idea how he got back to the motel. All he felt was the tightness in his chest, the soft drizzle of rain dampening his hair. His clothes were starting to itch, but he just kept walking. Thank God for his ridiculously long legs.

Jared gave a bitter laugh at this.

_Thank God._

Jared did what he had to do, he knew that. He couldn't let Sam go to Hell, not when he had it within his power to stop it. When he faced his friends, which he would have to do sooner rather than later like he would prefer, he was going to leave out the whole "killing Sam" thing that accompanied his deal. They would argue, but he knew they would have to accept his choice and move on.

"I don't care if I'm the luckiest SOB or you chose me" Jared paused a few yards from the motel, tilting his head back and glaring up at the sky "You forsake my Sammy, I'm part of the package. You won't take him from me, I won't let you! What kind of Merciful Father both blesses and damns the souls of his chosen?"

Jared snapped his mouth shut, //Ignore the lunatic screaming at the sky, just move along kiddies. Nothing to see here but the freaks.//

Jared kept going, ending up right outside the door. Exhaustion was heavy upon his shoulders, it was probably around three in the morning by now. The very air tasted early, crisp and cool on his skin. He was just going to go inside, curl up beside Sam, and forget all this every happened…at least for another few months so he could work up the nerve to tell them. He entered on that happy thought.

Before the door had even shut behind him, his plans were shattered.

All three of them were wide awake. Dean was sitting on the desk, looking grumpy and ruffled. Jensen was cross-legged on the bed, chewing his thumbnail (an annoying habit he had picked up from that Christian Kane guy that was always hanging around their apartment) and looking nervous. But Sam…his boyfriend was sitting on the edge of the bed and looking right at him.

At three in the morning, it was a little more than unnerving to see them all fully dressed.

"Hey guys" Jared managed to pull a smile, slipping the tan coat off his shoulders and onto the nearby chair "I couldn't sleep. The rain stopped, and you can really see the sky out in the middle of nowhere. I, uh…kind of got caught in the rain."

Jared ruffled his hair, droplets going everywhere.

"I had a dream about you, Jared" Sam spoke in low, smoke tones "I had a nightmare about you surrounded in fire, and a shadow ripped your wings from your back. I tried to get to you, but you disappeared. Just when I was sure you were safe and it was just a dream in a dream, but I looked up…you were pinned and bleeding on the ceiling."

Jared trembled at this, visions of Jess and Mary Winchester burned into the back of his mind. He fiddled with his bracelet, the metal a icy bite beneath his fingertips to remind him of their connection.

Sam's eyes were cold, "What did you do tonight?"

Jared's mouth opened to protest, but he could only shake his head.

"You did something, I can feel it" Sam put a hand over his sternum "It's heavy. Did you damage your Grace?"

Jared kept shaking his head 'no', a strangled rasp escaping his throat, "_Yes_."

"What did you do?!"

"I only did it for _you_" Jared stumbled over to his lover, dropping to his knees between the man's legs and giving him a heartfelt look "Everything I do is for _you_, Sam! I only wanted to keep you happy, keep you safe. We both know you couldn't have repented, not in the way God would want you to. I just…out of the two of us, who's more likely to be saved?"

Jensen put a hand to his mouth, "Oh, Jay…you _didn't_."

"I summoned a Crossroads demon, the one who came to me when I was a kid" Jared was fighting off tears, giving the youngest his most pitiful smile "I exchanged my soul for yours."

Sam bristled, tightening a fist in the slighter man's hair, "You did _what_?!"

"Please" Jared pleaded, neck arched at a painful angle "I did it for _us_."

"Oh my God" Dean hung his head, scrubbing his face with his palms "Oh my _fucking_ God."

There was a flutter of wings.

Jensen spoke the name as a plea and a exhalation of relief, "Castiel."

"Hush" Castiel soothed, walking briskly toward the honey haired man "Samuel, you must stay calm."

Sam released his lover's hair, "I am calm."

"Tell me Jared" Castiel spoke lowly "Was blood exchanged?"

Jared sniffled and rubbed at his nose, nodding.

Castiel winced, "Was there much pain?"

Shell shaded lips parted in a soft _yes._

"Can we fix this?" Dean inquired, scratching at the back of his neck a little more roughly than necessary "We can't just let this happen."

"Why not?" Jared raised his chin, determined "It's my decision-"

"It was a foolish decision" Castiel snapped, shutting the boy up. A wave of guilt washed over him, Jared just looked so alone at Sam's feet. "It is…not your fault. You did…you did only what you thought was best for you all."

Jared didn't look relieved a second before Sam scoffed, "By damning himself?"

Castiel took a moment to center himself, "If you kill the demon who holds the contract, it will become void."

"So we just have to hunt this bastard down" Dean stated with a non-chalance he didn't feel "Any way to track him? Any special half-angel soul finding mojo?"

The angel tisked, "The reason that everyone doesn't go after the Crossroads demon they've made their deal with when they change their mind is that they are quite difficult to track down. If they don't want to be found, they won't be."

Castiel knelt down next to Jared, giving him an imploring look, "'Tell me his name, Jared. I will help you in any way I can."

"I…I can't" Jared replied reluctantly "I don't want the deal broken."

"Yes you do" Sam's voice was hard, and his grip was firm along the curve of his actor's neck. He pressed his thumb just beneath Jared's chin, lifting his face until their eyes met. The slighter nearly whimpered as ebony chased hazel through those orbs, barely contained anger simmering just below the surface of his skin.

"Tell him the demon's name, Jared."

Jared made a weak sound of protest, resolve crumbling.

Castiel look between them, breath bated.

Under Sam's intense stare, Jared broke in four shaky syllables.

"_Ryanimay_."

Castiel shot to his feet, cyan orbs as wide as they could be.

"Was that so hard?" Sam tisked, wiping the tears from his boyfriend's cheeks as they fell "It's going to be okay now, Jared. I can fix this. We'll hunt down this 'Ryanimay'…we'll either force him to break the contract or take his head."

"But then you'll go to Hell, and none of this will matter!"

"The deal you made broke Samuel's deal, freeing his soul" Castiel spoke hollowly, ready to collapse in on himself "To break Jared's contract…would not affect what the other has become."

"Good" Jensen piped up "Then we'll go after him, starting tomorrow."

Jared started sputtering out excuses. They couldn't do this, this was _his_ decision! He kept an about how he had the right to decide what to do with his soul. If he wanted to sell it for Sam, he would. Why did Dean get to make the ultimate sacrifice, but not him? Why did Jensen get to decide his own fate, but not him?

"Jared" Sam cut him off, cradling the boy's jaw firmly in his fingers. He forced those eyes to look at him, the actor leaned closer on mental command alone. "Listen to me now, Jared."

The actor was scared, but obedient.

"What could possibly make you think that sending yourself into the hands of filth and scum would be what I want?" disdain crept into the hunter's voice, but his features remained calm "How could possibly think that the thought of you in Hell would make me happy? The only that brings me any happiness lately…is you by my side. I don't know how you'd even think I'd let you go in the first place."

"I'm sorry" Jared didn't even know why he was apologizing anymore, it just seemed the right thing to do nowadays. He was just so grateful Sam was willing to not get pissed about his desperate clawing-at-the-edge decision, and if that bastard Ryanimay was going to get killed…who cared?

Jared purred, leaning in and settling himself over his lover's lap. He nuzzled into the heat of Sam's thigh, reveling in the large palm that carded through his hair. He shivered when the Cartier bracelet grazed the nape of neck, the skin prickling. It was a possessive touch, a welcome touch.

"I thought…" Jared whispered, voice barely audible "…I was scared you wouldn't love me anymore."

"I need you, and you need me" Sam replied honestly, bringing the boy up on his knees enough to drop a kiss on his forehead "I will never let you go…I will always love you, my angel."

//If you could only see, Jared…your heart belongs to me.//

"I just love you so fuckin' much" Jared admitted, yearning for the bond between them.

//Forever yours I'll be.//

Castiel all but collapsed into the corner, a hand coming up to his borrowed heart. His whole being was breaking, and no one could see it. Could humans truly shatter so completely, and no one could feel it? Jensen looked his way, registering that there was something wrong with his angel. Castiel took a heavy breath and staggered out of the room, the back of his hand pressed to his mouth.

The drizzle had slowed, barely a light mist against him. But he was an angel, he did not feel. If he wanted to feel the cold, he would…and he did. It wasn't as if he had any control anymore, not any _real_ control. Even with the cool, cleansing rain on him…he was suffocating. His session with Ryan had helped, but now with this new threat coming up on the horizon…it felt as if his vessel was turning against him.

But he knew Jimmy had moved on, he had sent the soul on himself.

Castiel tilted his head back, moisture on his cheeks, "_Ryanimay_…what have you done to yourself? To us? To what we could of had?"

"Castiel?" Jensen shut the motel door behind him, brow creased "I know this will sound stupid, since you're an _angel_ and all…but are you okay?"

"Yes of course" Castiel replied a bit too quickly, half turning towards his charge "It's just…unfortunate what happened to Jared."

"You're anxious" emerald eyes roved over the angel, voice breathy in shock "God, you're _trembling_."

"I am not" Castiel glanced down at his hand, clenching it into a fist when he saw that his fingers were actually shaking "My vessel is stressed, I am not easy on it."

"No, it's you" Jensen approached him, putting a tentative hand on his arm "Castiel…I knew something was wrong with you, it's in yours eyes. What happened?"

The dark haired angel shook his head, a frail protest.

"You think I can't see you?" Jensen snatched his guardian's hand, slapping it right over the pinkening scar on his arm. They both released a gasping sound, the connection between them strengthening instantly. Jensen looked upon him in awe and pity, seeing beyond his shoulders and at what had changed.

"Your wings…" the actor faltered "They're ashen! What happened?"

"I have sinned" Castiel replied as passively as he could, though what he assumed was his stomach was churning "And it is a warning."

"You sinned?" Jensen echoed, unconvinced "What in the Hell could you have done to piss God off that bad? To discolor your wings…it's _insulting_. He might as well have kicked you in the balls."

"Be that as it may" Castiel managed to center himself jus enough so that he sounded calm "I've touched…what was not rightfully mine anymore. I've committed a great sin, I deserve worse."

"Was it…something you really wanted?"

Castiel shut his eyes against the truth, "Yes."

"Then who gives a fuck?" Jensen scoffed "You can't have a little Free Will now and then? Here's a better way to put it…did you do it out of love?"

Again he could not lie, "Yes."

"Then it was a good thing" Jensen let go of the angel's hand, patting him firmly on the shoulder "Quit beating yourself up all the time, Castiel…you're looking _old_."

With a quiet chuckle, the actor slipped back into the motel room.

Castiel was gone before the lock clicked.

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (all about us)**_


	42. Chapter 42

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {42-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

(**AN**: Yes, extremely short chapter here. I'm sorry, but the scene I had here before didn't fit in the right way. I had to save it for chapter 45 instead. I needed to as some things from 44, so unless you want to ruin the story for yourselves…*shrug* you'll just have to deal with this extremely short chappie.**)**

* * *

It took them two days of straight driving, but they made it to Bobby's Salvage Yard. Sam, Dean, and Jensen kept switching shifts, fueled by rock 'n roll and cheap coffee that left them acrid and nauseas after the caffeine high wore off. Jared was treated like the elephant in the room, tucked in his seat and dead quiet.

He was thinking of his next move.

When they arrived, Bobby nearly choked on the tension rolling off of them. They all got a round of showers and a hot meal before Bobby let them talk and when they did he wasn't too surprised. First of all, he told them he felt that Jared was different from the first moment he met him. That's why Bobby had kind of side-stepped him, he had been uncomfortable around someone with such a strong presence.

"Reminds me of when Castiel first stepped into that barn" Bobby told them with a gesture of his beer "Strong. Unearthly. Not a bad thing, though, boy."

Then Jared had admitted he had sold his soul for Sam.

"Ya igits" Bobby grunted, cradling the beer in two hands tightly "You boys treat your souls like baseball cards! When are ya gonna learn that you can't go makin' deals with every Tom, Dick, and Balthazar that comes along. The bond you four have with each other is powerful, you gotta stop throwing it around! You gotta focus it and use it fer…"

_For good._

Bobby stopped himself, grumbling softly about ungrateful brats as he wiped his brow.

Dean was laying back on the couch, a remote in his hand. His socked feet were up on the coffee table, a beer standing half-empty by them. Sam was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and looking like the broody puppy he was. Jared was sitting behind Jensen on the floor, hair hanging in damp ringlets and dressed in fresh clothes. Jensen was cross-legged before him, head dipped so Jared could scrub a towel through his light brunette hair.

Bobby silently noted that they looked like a couple of well-behaved kid brothers, silent and content.

"Ok" Bobby began slowly "You wanna…hunt this demon down and break the deal. It can be done. Do you know it's name?"

"Ryanimay" Sam replied curtly.

Bobby let out a small hiss, "If that name means what I think it does, we've got a problem here."

()

There were many more books out than normal, Bobby hadn't been able to remember which one the demon was in. He kept muttering to himself, but usually he just crossed out his own sentences and waved his hand as if it would magically make the right words appear.

Jared had put his foot down on the whole subject, refusing to help. He just sat in the chair by the open window, watching the lazy South Dakota clouds roll over a perfect sky. The sun danced over the ground in rivulets, a light breeze ruffling his hair. He was reveling in the calm weather, glad they had escaped the storm. But he couldn't escape the storm he had built up himself, Sam's temper holding out longer than normal.

But his mind was still whirring.

Jensen was up on the ladder, bringing down books at Bobby's request. He wasn't so good on the research aspect of hunting, so he ran back and forth for the trucker-cap wearing man that just adored him. Every once in a while Jensen would make a comment that would make Bobby laugh, the bigger man merely digging his knuckles into the top of the boy's head before sending him off for another book.

Sam was on the laptop, but not getting very far.

"Hey, here's something!" Dean nearly jumped up, then realized it wasn't the correct spelling and slumped "Nevermind. This is some type of vampire lord…he's dead now."

Dean had several books spread out around him on the floor, tossing a few M&M's in his mouth every minute like clockwork as he read passage after passage.

"Ok, this might be it" Bobby spread a book out on the table "Sam, type in something akin to…'_popular myths of fallen angels_', huh?"

There was a particularly long wait, but Sam's face fell in that kicked-puppy look.

"It's a story" Sam stated, apparently disappointed "He's a…a legend in Ireland and a ghost story in Russia. It is said that on a night centuries ago, one of the brightest stars in Heaven fell upon Ireland. There…the earth dipped and extended out to create what is now the Wicklow Mountains. He was called Ryanimay, and he was a lyrical angel and a companion to Thursday -- whatever the hell that means. He was not cast from Heaven, but chose to shed the moral coils of his angel self and start anew. A hundred years later, he became a demon of the crossroads. The story of Ryanimay is told through word of mouth to Russian children, it serves as a warning to not take for granted what you have."

Jensen scoffed, "You can't be serious? A fallen angel?"

" 'iz true" Bobby drawled, scanning over the book before him "Apparently this good 'ol boy is picky about who he makes deals with. Says here something about…deeming their cause worthy."

Dean seemed to be considering this, "You know…Anna's grace turned into a tree when she fell."

Jensen coughed softly, "_Afriel_."

"It's not unheard of" Bobby rubbed at his beard, half-contemplative/half-resigned "When angels fall, three things can happen. They can be stripped of their Grace and forced to live among humans without their memories, or stripped of their Grace and killed right there. But, sometimes…if the angel chooses to Fall and they're pretty good…God gives them a choice. They can take whatever form they want, can be demon or human, faerie, whatever."

Jared glanced at them for just a moment, swallowing.

"It's just what I've read" Bobby huffed, narrowing his eyes at Jensen "Boy…it's be good if we had your angel friend to confirm or deny all this."

"Don't think I haven't tried" Jensen sighed, plopping down in an old, worn recliner "Castiel's wrapped up in his own thing at the moment. He won't answer."

"That's a first" Dean scoffed,a little bitterness mixing with his sarcasm.

"Is there a way to track him?" Sam got up, walking over to the older man to peer at his book.

"Track him?" Dean stood "We better figure out if we can kill 'im first"

Bobby tossed a book at Jared, snickering when the younger man yelped and jolted like a kitten, "What color were his eyes, kid?"

"Gold" Jared replied reluctantly "Guys, maybe we can't kill him? It's a fallen angel, man."

"We'll figure out of way" Sam stated firmly, leaving no room for argument "Everything can be killed."

"Well, yer not usin' the Colt" Bobby declared, polishing off his beer "Yer dad would put a load of grapeshot in me if I let you use it on something other than Azazel."

Dean deflated, "True."

"Besides" Bobby got up, tossing the empty bottle into the trash can "I've already locked it up. Sealed up tight, too."

Sam grit his teeth, "Then we'll just find another way."

Jensen har-umphed and got out of the chair, "I'll go start a pot of coffee."

_**TBC**_

_**All about us (all about us)**_


	43. Chapter 43

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {43-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom: **Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

The weather stayed clear through the next day, though cloudy. Jensen managed to sneak away from the others around noon, maneuvering deep into the salvage yard for some privacy. He found a clearing behind what looked like the skeleton of a semi-truck and an SUV on steroids. Jensen pulled out a cellphone, checking the battery before dialing.

This would be the easiest call he would make today.

It only rang twice before a gruff voice answered, _"Speak_."

"John" Jensen chuckled lightly "Do you growl like that at everyone who calls you?"

"_Hollywood!_" John's laugh was deeply amused, rough "_It's good to hear from you. The last time I heard from Dean about you, you were bedridden_."

"I lied about that, and you deserve to know what happened."

"_I knew it_" John scoffed "_Nothing could shock me more than Jared being a half-angel. Go on, Hollywood, lay it on me._"

"I made a deal with Castiel, I went to Hell for ten years" Jensen spoke past the lump in his throat, starting to feel a bit better as he admitted it "It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done, but I did it out of my own free will. And that's what counts, right?"

John was silent.

"I did it for Dean" Jensen was getting a little anxious now "He was cracking up all by himself, he kept thinking…John, please don't be angry…"

"_Calm down, Hollywood_" John's voice was a low, soothing rumble "_I get it. Dean has a thing where he starts to think he's the only one in pain, then he represses it out of some deep-seated big-brother-hero guilt. Did this…uh, impromptu vacation bring him out of his funk?_"

"Uh, yeah" Jensen was a little thrown "He seems a little happier. Playing his music a bit louder, eating loads of food at a time, drinking less. He sure as hell isn't looking for other comforts."

"_Yeah, he can be a jackass like that_" John chuckled in a weird amusement "_You ok? Did it fuck you up too badly? Er…nightmares or anything?_"

"A few nightmares, most about that asshole Alastair" Jensen admitted reluctantly "Sometimes I get a little more freaked out than I have any right to, but I'm ok in general. I don't have any deep-seated guilt or anything too damaging. I'm…uh, ok."

"_Good 'ta hear_" John stated "_So…that's it? Feel better now._"

"Yeah" Jensen sighed, relief fading with his realization "Oh shit, John! I'm sorry! You must be on a hunt or something, and I just called you to tell you something completely useless and irrelevant. Man, I'll just hang up and stop being a complete dumbass."

"_Hey, Jensen, calm down_" John sounded a bit more serious "_I'm not disappointed, I understand…and I'm sure Dean does to. Now I've got a lead on Azazel, and I'm meeting up with him in an hour. I've got to conceal some weapons before I go…but don't tell Dean. Go and be good now, hear me?_""Yes sir" the Texan chuckled a bit himself "Good luck, John."

There was an affirmative grunt, then the line cut off.

Jensen lowered his phone from his ear, sighing through his nose. Well, it was a load off to know that John didn't hate him for what he'd done. Everyone had been laying the lack-of-guilt thing on kinda thick, and it was almost making him feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

Leave it to John Winchester to simplify things for him.

He hesitated a few moments longer on the next call, just closing his eyes and savoring the sun falling down upon his neck and shoulder blades. He wasn't sure which he was dreading more, the call to Chris or the one to Mackenzie. One would probably end in good hazing, the other in tears.

Jensen dialed.

"_Hello_?"

"Chris?" Jensen asked timidly.

Jensen could practically taste the man's grin, "_Jenny-baby! It's about time I got a decent phone call from you. The texts are only so good, man. I missed your voice._"

"I missed yours" Jensen admitted with a sigh, the honey-laden tones washing over him.

"_Don't get all gay on my Jenny, you know I have a girlfriend. Not that you're not tempting…_"

"I have a boyfriend now, Chris" Jensen put on a swooning-maiden voice, even though he was choking up from just the sound of his best friend's voice "I cannot indulge in sin with you any longer."

"_You mean that mysterious Dean dude you're always hinting at?_" there was a clink of ice in a glass, then a content lip smack "_He treating you good? Cause if not, I'm right there for you._"

"I know" Jensen replied automatically, then rethought it "Chrissy, if I told you he was beating me and forcing himself on me, would you-"

"_What_?" the man snapped angrily, the scratch of a chair being pushed back reaching his ears through the receiver "_What in the hell has he been doing to you, Jensen?! Tell me where you are, I'm gonna come and kick his ass all the way to-!_"

"Chris!" Jensen was almost hysterical when he heard Chris grabbing his thick ring of keys, knowing what the man would do "He's not! I promise, calm down."

It took Chris a full minute to sit and calm down again, "_Are you ok, Jense?_"

"I'm fine, you protective bastard" Jensen was teared up a little at this, the lump in his throat coming back "You…you really care, don't you?"

"_Yeah, Jenny, you're my best friend. I know I'm second to Jared, but…_" Chris paused "_Jensen? You don't sound good at all. Did something happen?_"

"A lot of shit has happened" Jensen replied truthfully "But, uh, Jared and I might be leaving for a while…so if Kripke comes around, tell him we quit. We're done. Tell him to sue us if he can find us."

Chris scoffed, "_Have you cleared this with Jared? From the rumors going around, the show was his secret boyfriend's idea in the first place._"

"Yeah, he's ok" the younger man shrugged, even though he knew he couldn't be seen "He's gone through some stuff too, he'll be with me."

"_As long as you two are together…but man, you guys are like Bonnie and Clyde when you get on a role_" Chris chuckled "_I hope these…what's their last names?"_

"Sam and Dean" Jensen replied vaguely.

"_Ok, I get it_" there was a smile in Chris's voice now "_I hope these SamandDean boys can keep a handle on you._"

"We all hope that" Jensen found himself near tears, knowing it was the last time he would ever hear this man's voice "I've gotta go, man. I've gotta call Mac. I…I love you a lot, Chrissy, you know that right?"

"_Yeah Jenny, I know_" Chris replied easily "_You're my best friend, and I love ya back. Maybe soon we can all escape somewhere together, fly to Japan and hide like we did that one year? Bring Jared and these SamandDean boys, we'll make a vacation of it._"

//I think we've all had enough vacations for a lifetime.//

Jensen lied through his teeth, "Yeah, sure. It sounds perfect, Chris."

"_Good. Don't wait so long to call next time, alright?_"

"Ok" Jensen sighed shakily, smiling as best he could "Goodbye Chris."

"_See ya, Jense_."

Jensen clicked off the phone, sighing again as he repressed a sob, "Goodbye forever, Chris."

Jensen almost wished…he almost wished he hadn't known about Dean.

Maybe he could have a had a normal life? A star-crossed romance with Chris even? But Dean was the love of his life, and thinking about being with Chris was only a fraction less repulsing than the thought of being with some other faceless woman or man.

"Oh well" Jensen rubbed a hand over his eyes, scowling at the moisture there "Pull yourself together, Ackles. Only one more call left and then you can drop off the face of the Earth forever."

He nearly dropped the phone, managing to fumble the number twice. He took a few long breaths, gritting his teeth and steeling his fingers against his nerves. He dialed the number and pressed the phone to his ear, refusing to give in when he was so close to ending all this.

It only rang twice, "_You've got me, now what?_"

Jensen choked on a single word, "Mac."

A giggle followed, then a softer, "_Hey Jensen._"

"Oh Mac" Jensen dug the heel of his hand into his eyes, cursing the tears that stained his palm "Shit."

"_Jen_?" now she sounded worried "_Are__you__ok_, _big__bro_?""Mackenzie" Jensen sniffed hard, clearing his throat "How've you been?"

"_Good_" she replied tentatively "_Now__I know you didn't call for that. Is there something wrong?_"

Oh God, he couldn't do this. This was his baby sister, the seven-year-younger kid that used to tag along beside him on everything. This was the baby who made Josh so bitter, the one he had held in his arms and cooed to when his Mom was off taking one of her naps. He was there when she first learned how to walk, how to sing on-key, how to shout at the cows and was still there when she realized she couldn't do that while they were asleep or they tipped.

It had been four years since he'd seen his sister, if you tacked on the ten years he was in Hell.

Fourteen years ago.

This woman was nearly a stranger to him. He couldn't remember if she had a boyfriend or a fiancée. Did she even still have that stupid Yorkie mutt that used to bite at his shins? Was she thinking of kids? Was she getting a new degree in Business?

The whole thing made him sick.

"Mac, listen closely" Jensen took a few short breaths, knowing he could do this if he just got it all out in one burst "Just listen, ok?"

"_Yeah, Jen, of course._"

"I'm never…never going to see you again" Jensen stuttered a bit, heart breaking at the little whimpering sound she made "I'm never going to see you or the family again. I can't come back. I've been going through some things, freaky things, and I can't face you like I am now. Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it. Don't freak out, baby sister, just tell me you'll be safe?"

The Texan took a long breath through his nose, the ramble burning his throat.

"_I…yeah, I'll be safe_" she sounded so soft, so defeated "_You're never going to come home? Have you told Momma? Or Daddy? Shit, does Josh know?_"

"Don't cuss" Jensen scolded, but he couldn't find any real conviction "You're too pretty to cuss, Mac."

"_Does this have something to do with that new boyfriend of yours? This Dean?_" Mackenzie sounded just as accusing as Chris did "_Is he forcing you or something?_"

"Come on, Mac" Jensen managed a chuckle "When was the last time someone forced me into something I didn't want to do?"

"_True_" Mackenzie sighed "_So you're choosing this? You just…what? Don't like us anymore?_"

"It's not like that, Mac!" Jensen all but screamed into the phone, wincing at the harshness of his voice "Please, just accept this. I'm thinking that here in the next two years, none of this will even matter. Be good for me, ok?"

Mackenzie scoffed, "_Since when am I good for anyone?_"

Jensen hissed through his teeth, "Don't say things like that."

"_You're such a prude_" Mackenzie paused again "_I'm going to miss you, Jensen. I can't say I won't try to find you, but if I do you have some serious explaining to do. I'm talking flowers, dinner, and possibly a new car, Mr. Hot-Shot-TV-Star._"

She sounded so sweet, so untouched by the evil that seemed to have always been hanging around him. The tears fell hot down his cheeks, and he couldn't stop it.

Jensen hung up.

Of course, he knew right then that either Chris or Mac would call him right back after they thought about it. Jensen wound back his arm, grunting with the force of his throw. The phone went flying through the air, shattering with a satisfying crunch against a metal pole sticking out of the carcass of the semi-truck.

"Goodbye you guys" Jensen let himself smile a bit "You guys don't need me lingering around."

"Jenny!" Dean called from the house.

Jensen ran out from behind the truck, spotting his lover on the back porch. Dean was grinning widely, holding up a white box.

"Come on, man!" Dean was positively gleeful "Bobby ran to town to get supplies, and he brought back pie!"

Jensen made a face, "What kind?"

"Coconut cream!"

Jensen had never run so fast in his life.

()()()

It took them two days before Dean said fuck it, that they weren't going to find a way to kill this thing. Ruby's knife didn't work on angels, and the Colt was not an option.

Bobby suggested they go see Missouri, see what she could conjure up about Ryanimay. They all mutually agreed, and they were packed up to go that afternoon.

While they were loading up, Bobby pulled Dean to the side.

"You can't trust your brother with this, not just yet" Bobby handed over the Colt, making sure the younger man tucked it away into his leather jacket "I want you to keep it safe, here me? As soon as you find a way to kill this fallen angel and it's gone and done, then give it back to him. Or keep it, I don't give a fuck. Just don't let this be used on anything but Azazel, got me?"

"Yes sir" Dean frowned a little "But I'm pretty sure Sam already knows that. It's not like he's gonna…"

"What?" Bobby scoffed "Disobey your dad?"

Dean just nodded tightly, "Ok, I'll keep it safe."

"Well alright" Bobby bussed his shoulder "Good luck, then."

Dean headed to the car, heart heavy.

_**TBC**_

_**There's a thing that they can't touch**_


	44. Chapter 44

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {44-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

"_Higher, Sammy!"_

_Dean looked up at the squealed words, squinting up into the sunlight. The park was warm bright green under the summer sun. The wind was soft on his face, a breeze to ruffle leaves and clothes. He watched as his brother pushed Jensen on a swing, both much younger. Sam didn't look a day over fourteen, and Jensen was a fresh faced ten year old. He was still so pretty though, all wide emerald eyes and radiant smile. There was a fine sprinkle of freckles over the bridge of his nose, Sam's hair was curly and light as it tended to get in those long summers._

"_Higher!" Jensen demanded, and his brother complied._

_Dean slumped against the tree, watching the scene with a content smile. He knew it was a dream, but there was nothing wrong. He felt at peace for once, watching the two men he loved most in the world. Here in this small playground in the middle of nowhere, he was home._

_A rustle of paper caught his ears, forcing his gaze away from the scene and towards the right. There was a single picnic table, set there square between the tree he was leaning against and the tree line that led into a forest. Jared sat there, full grown and hunched over. A box of crayons lay open in front of him, several colors scattered upon the weather-worn boards. He was dressed in old jeans and a simple off-white wife beater, coloring on a piece of paper. He changed crayons, the paper he had been holding down with his elbow blowing away._

_Dean cast a last look at the kids, then walked over to Jared._

"_Hey Jay" Dean spoke softly, observing the younger man "Some of your paper got away."_

_Jared cocked his head up at the hunter, a soft smile on his face. He had a dreamy, child-like expression on his face…as if he had never known a worry or a need beyond the crayons scattered before him. He was barefoot, Dean observed, and his soles were stained with dirt as well as his palms._

"_It happens" Jared shrugged "You can't save everything, I guess."_

"_I guess" Dean repeated, eyeing the man cautiously "Watcha' drawin' Jay?"_

"_Look!" Jared giggled, putting down his crayons and framing the picture with his hands._

_Dean stepped closer and tilted his head, studying the drawing. _

_There was a figure with dark brown hair and guns at his side, what looked like a leather jacket colored on him. The next one was about the same height, only with lighter hair and what looked like a tazer and sunglasses. They both had a little lump on their shoulders, colored tan and black with a glow of blue. The one beside it was taller and had a shaggy mop of brown and yellow, red horns protruding from the scribbled hair. The last one was a little shorter, a halo over it's head and a chocolate bar in it's hand. They were all stick figures, and they were all smiling obscenely. There was what resembled a car fender on the other half of the page, cut down the middle but obviously a black car._

"_Look, Dean" Jared's voice was high with awe, finger pointing to each figure "That's you, Jenny, Sammy, and me. See here? Castiel's on your shoulders! And there's your baby! I had to put the Impala in here, Dean, I just had to."_

"_It's good, Jay" Dean conceded, smiling and ruffling the boy's honey hair._

_Jared put the picture back down, smoothing the edges until it lay flat again. He hesitated just a moment, then plucked up the black crayon. _

_With a small smile on his face, he began to scribble. Starting at the top, he colored out deep lines of black wax all over the sky. It descended steadily, the paper wrapping around the crayon peeling away under the force Jared put forth. The figures slowly disappeared, the thick wax covering the lighter drawings. Dean gaped as the artwork was ruined, the entire page soon covered in the black substance._

_The Winchester swallowed thickly when Jared finally ran out of crayon, stained fingers laying limp off to the side of the page and breath coming in small gasps._

"_Jay?" Dean began "What's, uh…what's that?"_

"_That? That right there?" Jared asked innocently, staring up at Dean with a small smile and flushed cheeks "That's Darkness."_

"_No, Jared."_

"_Yep" Jared absently picked up the maroon crayon, coloring in the lines that were left behind "That's Darkness, alright. It's going to consume us all, you'll see. There's not a thing we can do now, nope. Sammy's going to condemn us all, and I'm going to be the key to his lock. When it comes, it will all come. When it rains it pours, right Dean?"_

_Dean gaped, staying silent._

_Jared looked up at Dean, eyes glowing, "Right Dean?"_

()

Dean awoke suddenly, grunting when his breath was lost.

He sat up straight, finding himself in the passenger seat of his car. Jensen was driving, eyes bloodshot and hands on the steering wheel. The hunter turned in his seat, blinking rapidly behind his sunglasses. Jared was curled against the door behind Jensen, obviously trying to get as far away from his lover as he could.

Sam was clicking away at his laptop, the glow from the screen to his face almost menacing.

Dean reached out suddenly, clasping Jared's knee and making the boy jump.

"Don't" Dean rasped, tearing off his sunglasses and looking the frightened man right in the eyes "Whatever your going to do…just don't."

Sam stopped, looking between them curiously.

Jensen clicked his tongue, "Stop it, Dean, you're scaring him."

Dean drew his hand away, wide Nile green eyes blinking at him as if he had gone crazy. He put his shades in the glove compartment, snapping it shut with a click. He realized night had fallen, and the clouds were thick and pregnant in the sky. It was minutes away from a storm, he could feel it. Suddenly finding Ryanimay wasn't so important next to the visibility of the road.

"Pull in at the next motel" Dean reached over, curling a hand over his lover's thigh.

"We can't stop now" Sam growled from the back seat "Castiel's no help at all, we're tracking this thing down by ourselves. We're still at least a week from Lawrence."

"We don't need to hunt him, he didn't do anything" Jared repeated for the umpteenth time, voice low as if he were afraid to speak too loudly.

"Yes we do" now Sam was repeating himself.

"We'll start again in the morning. This storm could blow over, or it could kick ass" Dean left no room for argument, relieved when Sam's shoulders tensed (it meant he was giving in but hating every second of it) "Listen to me, Jenny."

The Heavens chose that moment to open up and pour upon the Earth, rain descending upon them without mercy. Jensen nearly cried out at the suddenness of it, but took comfort in the heavy hand on his thigh. The warmth seeped through the denim, fighting off the wrathful vibes Sam was giving off.

Jared sighed and looked out the window, eyes hooded, "When it rains it pours, huh Dean?"

Bile rose in Dean's throat, but he swallowed down.

()

Sam insisted on two separate motel rooms, saying that if they were going to stop they were going to do it on his terms. Dean had just held up his palms in surrender and conceded, replying that it would do them all some good to be alone. The rain still came down at a lazy, constant speed. It seems the kickass storm Dean had been afraid of was just a summer drizzle, a reprieve from the heat that could cling to everything.

Dean and Jensen were on their single bed, the Winchester quietly telling his lover of his dream.

Meanwhile, Sam was outside his own motel room. He paced back and forth beside the Impala, his cellphone clutched tightly in his fist. He was biting his lip so hard he feared he'd taste blood, but he didn't know what else to do! He was craving a blood fix, he had been for two weeks straight now. After he got through all the guilt and the general freak out that he was having a _blood fix_, he was still hungry.

Castiel had said that if he forcibly took Jared's blood, it would probably kill him.

That wasn't seeming like such a bad option now.

Sure, a while back he was dead determined to have Jared's blood the next time they were alone. But then they had gotten the motel room and he just…couldn't. Jared had looked so innocent, staring up at him with those glittery Nile green orbs of his…head tilted, pouting cutely without really even trying.

No, he couldn't do that to his boyfriend.

Then Dean had told him about the blood-letting rule Heaven had. If Jared gave up his blood to him willingly, he'd be condemned to Hell anyways. Either way, there would be suffering.

Sam looked down at his cell, breath coming short. He had Ruby's number, all he had to do was dial and she'd answer. Some flowery words, and she'd be here in less than two hours. Oh fuck, and didn't that thought freak him out more than anything else? Ruby, a demon bitch who wanted him for just what he had the potential to do, was on-tap for him whenever he wanted it.

Sam's fingers fumbled over the digits, but it didn't ring once before he hung up.

This was so stupid, he was stronger than this. He didn't need her, no way in Hell he'd admit it if he did. It wasn't really even her that he wanted, he just wanted the demon blood. Power was addictive, and his rolls with Jared were only so strong. He swore that if he just got one drop, he'd quit.

Sam stuffed his phone back into his pocket, resigning himself to unbearable need.

Something flared inside him, something warm. He looked up suddenly, eyes locked on the door of his rented room. This was the same feeling he got whenever Jared used his angelic power, whether it be sprouting wings or burning up vampires. It had only been a spark when they were in that house with the freaked out teenage ghost, and a vague feeling when they were trying to enter the Faerie court.

But this…this felt strong.

Eyes flickering between hazel and ebony, he ran to the room.

When he threw open the door, he found something he wasn't expecting.

Jared was perched on the side of their queen sized bed, very solemn for someone so happy-go-lucky. His shirt was discarded on the floor, he was wearing those delicious 501 button-ups that Sam adored and couldn't resist for anything. Bare feet planted firmly on the carpet, eyes staring at him defiantly and glowing as if lit from within. Golden brown hair fell in near-ringlets, obscuring the sheen from his gaze.

Those lovely ivory wings of his were folded behind him like a bird's.

Sam's hunger grew, the near-break outside not helping a bit.

"Sam" Jared's voice was light, normal "Close the door."

Sam obeyed, as well as shedding his coat and letting it pool on the floor.

"Jay" Sam's mouth was dry "God, you're beautiful."

Jared flushed prettily, wings rustling softly, "Thanks."

Sam took a hesitant step forward, off-kilter, "Why are you…? Not that I don't appreciate it, because…"

"I've made another choice, Sammy" Jared extended his wings as much as he could in the medium sized room "And…I think it's what has to be done."

Sam's brow creased, "What do you mean?"

Jared crooked a finger at his lover, "Come 'ere."

Sam obeyed, dropping to the floor between his lover's knees.

"Give me your key" Jared stated expectantly, holding out his hand.

Sam nodded, digging into his pocket and bringing out the screwdriver he always carried around. Jared accepted it, and brought his out from under the covers. Sam watched in rapt fascination as his lover curled them both in his fist, light shining out from inside.

"Watch closely…" Jared murmured, slowly uncurling his fist to reveal a smooth metal sphere "Ta-da."

"Did you just…melt them down?"

"Uh-huh" Jared let the ball roll off him palm and onto the floor, it clattered noisily "We're going to be together forever, and these bracelets are just a physical show of it. You're never leaving me, so why take them off?"

Sam didn't even hesitate before nodding, "This is true."

"We're not going to find Ryanimay" Jared stated, ignoring the spark of defiance that came over his lover's face "I've even tried to call him back. I think he realized what he's done and he's hiding. He's a fallen angel, Sammy, we're not going to find him without some serious power and…I think I have the solution."

Jared ran a hand over the other man's cheek, noting how his eyes flickered darkly, "You're hungry, aren't you? Out there…you were going to call that Ruby bitch, the one Dean's always going on about. When you take her blood, you get stronger don't you?"

Sam nodded, he couldn't deny it.

"Ok then" Jared heaved a sigh, then smiled warmly "My blood can do the same thing. Take mine."

"No" Sam broke the serene spell that was over him, rising to his feet. He stalked away from his boyfriend, trying to rein back in his hunger. It was so hard though, especially with the half-angel giving him permission to do it. When he was sure he had it in control, he turned back to the slighter man.

"Do you know what's going to happen if I do this?" Sam kept his voice firm, his features hard (less he crumble and worship his oh-so-beautiful lover) "If I take your blood, you'll go Hell. So how do you see this ending? I take a sip, I get juiced up, I find Ryanimay and kill him…then what? We're back to the beginning. You don't want that, do you?"

"Your deal's broken, that's all that matters" Jared tilted his head, wings drawing back against him slowly "Would you rather I go of my own free will or would you like for us to live the rest of our lives with my soul belonging to someone else?"

Sam's possessiveness kicked in so quickly the air thickened, fists clenching and jaw setting.

"It'll make you so strong, Sammy" Jared held out a hand invitingly, smile curling down into a pout of sorts "Do you want Ruby instead? Would she satisfy you more than me?"

"God no" Sam groaned, raking a hand through his hair anxiously. His heart was beating a war rhythm in his chest, his blood was racing, and his hunger was growing by the second. He could almost taste how sweet it would be on his tongue, how strong. By rights, this man was his completely.

Jared's eyes flared a little brighter, lips pursed, "How's this any different than fucking me?"

Sam almost choked, "I-I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"You think I'm stupid, don't you?" Jared sneered, wings shivering violently "Do you think I can't feel it every time it happens? You get stronger every time you top because your demon is getting off on domineering me! Since you didn't have the balls to tell me, you can at least man up and admit this is the only way we'll ever find Ryanimay!"

Sam ducked away, barely holding onto the last threads of control.

Then Jared fuckin' pushed it.

Jared pulled a knife from under the pillow, hidden away there for a specific purpose. Even though the angel inside him was screaming not to do this, Jared beat it down with a firm slice to his forearm. Horatio was silenced within him when the blood bubbled to the surface, and Jared was in charge now. He had to do this, he couldn't back down now. Either way, he was going to Hell and Sam was free.

What was one more damnation?

Sam's eyes went pitch as he saw the blood trickle down his lover's forearm, throat closing up as his hunger sang gleefully.

_TakeMineNowBloodMineDrinkTakeNow_

"Mine" Sam growled, closing the distance between them easily. He dropped to his knees again, seizing his lover's wrist and dragging him close enough for those long legs to bracket him. Sam hesitated just a moment, nearly panting as his tongue snaked out for a tentative lick. He lapped up the rivulets, moaning as the copper washed over his tongue.

Jared's breath hitched, eyes still just as bright and wide.

"All mine" Sam repeated, latching his mouth onto the cut. He tried to be gentle, but he couldn't help himself. Lips and teeth kneaded the laceration, both hands gripping the half-angel's forearm for better leverage. He drew mouthfuls from that long cut, hungry growls and satisfied grunts escaping him.

Jared whimpered, but fought the urge to push his lover away. He had to do this, it was for the good of them both. Sam would never rest until he got revenge, and he knew he'd end up in Hell one way or another. It burned, but it was kind of a turn-on. Now he really felt dirty.

Unnoticed by both, Jared's wings flared and started to turn. It started with the very ends fading to grey, then as the other feathers turned ashen the tips turned black. The more blood that was drawn, the further this darkness crept. By the time Sam pulled away, the wings were dyed the purest ebony.

Sam pulled away, lips stained with his soulmates blood. His eyes were dark, and his breath was gone. The pure power that accompanied angel blood was pulsing through him, much more than just that post-coital rush he was so addicted to. This was purer than Ruby's poison, stronger and a much more heady experience. He lapped the skin clean of scarlet, though more gently.

Jared tilted his head back, eyes glazed, "How does it feel, Sammy?"

"Perfect" Sam physically tackled the half-angel, knocking him back completely on the bed. Jared grunted as his lover's large frame covered his, wings thrashing so strongly that the pillows fell from the bed. They skimmed against the blankets, painfully hitting the headboard and the wall.

Sam curled his fingers in the waistband of his lover's jeans, silently asking permission.

Jared surged upwards, using the strength he had built up the last few months and flipping the hunter. Sam's hands came up and seized his hips bruisingly, a grin curling his lips. He looked positively menacing, demonic with his dark eyes and wicked smile.

It took some struggling and some wiggling, but soon the smooth-slick slide of skin was making them moan. Jared rocked his hips, his cock riding the cut of his boyfriend's hip. The friction was delicious, but it wasn't what either wanted. Sam guided his hips at the right angle, his own desire swollen flesh brushing the half-angel's entrance. Jared gasped, glowing eyes meeting pitch orbs.

"Just fuckin' do it" Jared barely bothered to slick pre-cum down the thick length before he raised himself over it "Need it to hurt, Sammy…got to know it's real. Won't work if it doesn't hurt."

Sam nodded, too lost in his own need to care anymore.

Jared thrust down, wings shuddering and head tipping back in a silent scream. It fuckin' hurt without any prep, but this was how it had to be. The demon blood in Sam would sing, and hopefully it all would work out. Jared was just going on instinct here, so this better fucking work or he was going to kill something.

Their coupling was nothing more than a hard fuck, rough and dirty and completely nothing like they were supposed to be. Jared hated to admit it, but he was kind of getting off on it too. Something ripped within him, blood slicking their joining instead of lube. Sam was letting loose these animalistic growls, thrusting up without mercy and leaving telling fingertips bruises on the half-angel's hips. Jared wasn't exactly pushing him away, little hitching gasps escaping his parted lips with every brush of his prostate.

Damn it, could Sam do no wrong by him?

Answer?

No.

One of Sam's hands let go of his hip, groping around on the sheets. Glowing lovat shaded eyes went impossibly wide as his lover's fingers curled around the knife handle, bringing it up. It was still stained with his blood, but with a swipe of his tongue it was gone. Jared tensed just a moment too late, the blade slicing along the soft just below his collarbone.

Jared hissed when the skin split, blood bubbled and spilled down his pec like molasses. Before the pain faded enough for him to have a coherent thought, a wide palm cupped the back of his neck and forcibly brought him down. Jared groaned at the change of angle, Sam's insistent mouth latching over the slick wound. More blood was taken from his veins, and he was starting to feel the effects.

The room was kind of spinning on him, the constant up-thrust not helping a bit. He buried his face in musky tresses, feeling teeth digging at the edges of the wound. His wings fluttered a bit, but he was soon let loose. He couldn't stop the tears that built in his eyes, and he had even less control when they spilled.

"Fuck" Sam hissed, panting so heavily now his chest was rising and falling with the beat not unlike that of a war drum. He could feel the power of Jared's blood coursing through him, from his lips to his tongue and all the way through him like icy water and magma all rolled into one. It pulsed, going from near burn to bliss in seconds.

They rocked toward each other with one goal in mind, release. With the heady mix of energy in the air, neither could last long. Of course, neither could take in a full breath either.

Sam came first, throwing back his head and fuckin' _bellowing_ at the ceiling. He thrust for all he was worth, riding the waves of his orgasm. Jared shuddered violently as he was filled, coming less enthusiastically but no less intensely. He rolled his head on his shoulders, wings stretching out and fluttering behind him. It hurt so good, but he knew it could never be like this again.

He would surely die at this pleasure filled pain every time.

Jared whimpered pathetically, wings drooping and arms shaking. He slumped down onto his elbows on either side of his lover, panting harshly into the sweat slicked skin he found there. Their chests heaved in near-perfect sync with each other, hands sliding lightly over rubber-like muscles. Sam had strength even now, cupping the back of the half-angel's neck and smooth over the dip of his lower back.

Sam's voice was husky in his ear, "My angel."

Jared shifted a certain way, the hunter leaving his body with a rather crude sound. He scowled at the blood he felt on his skin and staining the skin of Sam's cock. It fuckin' hurt, but it was worth it. The ache started to fade, but he soon realized it radiated from his ass up through his spine. He eased off the Winchester, wings fluttering briefly behind him as if in defeat.

"Jared" Sam sounded so in control now, tone deeper. He sat up gingerly, the power too potent in his veins for him to move too fast. He was sure it would settle, but he would need some time before the bells in his head stopped ringing. The buzz was constant, flames dancing through his fingertips to the ends of his hair. He reached out and ran his hand along the bend of the half-angel's wings, tracing the tar shaded feathers with the tips of his fingertips. They were still silky smooth and unruffable, but blackened.

"My wings…" Jared murmured, he blinked down at the coverlet with bleary eyes "They hurt."

Sam went to draw his hand away, but the slighter man groaned in protest, "It hurts more when you aren't touching them."

Sam's smile was warm, even though his eyes were pitch, "Anything, Jay."

He eased up behind the man, fingers dancing up the tender skin between his lover's newly darkened wings.

"You're still so beautiful" Sam growled, palms cupping the laterals and smoothing his way over the bended arcs from there "Even more now, because you're completely mine."

"Yours" Jared echoed softly, head dropping down to bare the length of his neck. His wings flexed out, the ache disappearing under the warmth of his lover's touch. Sam was radiating power now, it seeped from his fingertips and into his muscles. He did what he thought was right, and he could only hope it would be enough for all of them.

There wasn't much left he could give up for Sam.

The water in the bathroom suddenly started to run, forcing a gasp from the slighter man. Jared watched in awe as a washcloth lifted itself off the bathtub, dipping itself under the steaming spray of water under the sink. It was like some bizarre possession, the water spout turning off as the washcloth floated toward the. He nearly squeaked at the display, but his lover calmly snatched it out of the air.

"My beautiful angel" Sam sighed, overwhelmed. Sam dabbed at his half-angel's cheeks, cleaning the tears that sill clung and dried there. Jared sighed in relief at the gentle touch, the cloth drifting down his neck and chest. It was the touch of a lover, the touch of his Sammy. Firm lips kneaded at the dip between his wings, soft kitten licks to taste the sweat there.

A few more swipes and the evidence of their desire was gone, the water hot against his skin.

"Lay down, mind your wings" Sam murmured, taking the cloth away "And be so still for me."

Jared laid himself down on the mattress, easing out his long form. He was so glad his wings were light, he was able fold them just enough to lay on the bed but keep them out of Sam's way. Besides the faint ache in them, they didn't take more than a thought to keep still.

Sam's fingers brushed between his cheeks, slick with something, "Sammy?"

"Shh, it's going to help" Sam had coated two fingers with a special cream he had procured, it would take care of any tears inside him "All I need is for you to get an infection. I'll take care of you, don't worry."

He eased his fingers inside the heat of his lover, ignoring the way he whimpered and buried his head further into the covers, "Usually I would say that I would never let anything hurt you, but you keep making it so hard. No more, though. You've helped me so much, Jay. You'll see, I'm not going to let you go to Hell. Someway, I'll fix it all."

//At least now you won't be killed when I die, both our souls free of contracts// Jared sighed, eyes fluttering shut as his lover smeared the ointment over the minor tears inside him that their rough coupling had caused //I had no choice.//

"What are you going to do now?" Jared whispered, unsure.

"I can track him by the traces he left on you" Sam grinned to himself, slipping his fingers out and using the still-warm cloth to clean along the dip of his back and thighs "We'll have him within the week."

Jared's heart sunk, "Sammy…I'm never going home, am I?"

Sam leant down and dropped ghostly kisses along his tan spine, "I'm your home."

His wings folded back into his skin, disappearing in a handful of moments.

The half-angel nodded, "Yeah…I guess so, huh?"

"My angel" Sam loved how it tasted on his tongue, how his lips curled around the endearment "You have no idea how powerful I am right now, do you?"

Jared flipped over and cracked his eyes open, staring at his lover in horror. Sam's own eyes were stained pitch, lips curled up wickedly.

"Do you know what I'll be able to do with this power?" Sam raised a hand, curling it slowly into a fist "Oh sweetheart…I'm going to change _everything_."

//That's what I was scared of.//

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know (ah ah)It's all about us (all about us)**_


	45. Chapter 45

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {45-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards. I definitely do not own Ryan, I swear. He is his own, I am just using his image.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

Castiel was hiding.

He was hiding like some pathetic coward and he didn't care. He paced back and forth along a cliff face, the curve of his hand pressed to his mouth and his eyes closed. Night had fallen not minutes ago and here he was…terrified. He wasn't hiding from the demons, he was hiding from a force far more frightening. He had worn a path in the dirt beneath his shoes, but he couldn't care anymore.

Ryanimay…his Ryanimay.

Oh Merciful Lord, what had he done? Jared's soul was now bound to Hell, and Heaven itself was in an uproar over the offense. Their truest half-angel was not only being corrupted by a demon, but was now steps away from being in the hands of the Filth and Scum.

How could it have come to this?

Someone would be assigned to take out Ryanimay and restore The Balance.

"Castiel."

The dark haired angel jumped, revolving around in a ruffle of fabric to face who he knew would come.

"Uriel" Castiel stated calmly, chin raised "It is good to see you, my brother."

"If only it were the same on my end" the angel's vessel was large and dark skinned, portraying the fierceness that Uriel's true form conveyed "I have sought Revelation, I have your orders."

"You are not my superior, I do not answer to you" Castiel seethed, desperation making him edgy "My orders were to watch and guide Jensen Ross Ackles, and I have done so. Then I was told to look over the Winchesters, and I have done so. I have followed my commands."

"Not that you're not doing a stupendous job…" Uriel's voice was dripping with sarcasm "The orders have changed."

"I have no want nor need of your orders" the slighter angel spat, turning his back to his brother.

"You have to do it" Uriel's lips curled in a smirk "It is Father's will."

"It cannot be" Castiel reached up, rubbing the worn collar of his shirt and soothing the irritated skin there "It just…cannot."

"The brother we knew is long gone" Uriel sighed heavily, he was as exasperated as if he were talking to a small child "He chose to fall, he chose the life of the soul-dealing Filth. Can you not let him go? It's been centuries since you've seen him, can you not forget what was once between you?"

Castiel grit his teeth, "Yes, of course. It's been…_centuries_."

"Someone must destroy the Filth" Uriel cocked his head "It is to be me."

Castiel nearly jolted at this news, "It was not to be me? Then what orders could I have?"

"Our Father would not trust you with such a task" Uriel didn't even _try_ and sugarcoat it "Your heart is soft for those you've loved. Your orders are to stand aside and let me do what I must. You will not interfere, my brother. Do you hear me? _You must not interfere_."

The slighter angel hesitatedonly a moment, "My heart is not too soft as to not be trusted."

"Your judgment is questionable at best" Uriel narrowed his impossibly dark eyes "I hear it is only weeks before you are called back to Heaven to be judged."

Castiel tilted his head, "And if I refuse?"

White teeth flashed against dark lips, "I will personally drag you back by your hair, my brother…kicking and screaming if that is your choice."

Castiel turned away from his brother, blanched and suddenly much more cold.

"Brother" Uriel stepped forward, imploring "Who would you rather it be? Me, someone who loves and respects you? Or one of our brothers like Gabriel or Zachariah?"

Castiel drew in on himself, "You do not trust me. Heaven does not trust me."

Uriel's features hardened instantly, "You have done nothing worthy of trust."

"Have I not proven myself to Father all these years?" Castiel snapped, fists clenching so hard the knuckles went white "When Ryanimay fell, I did not speak out. I did not disobey, I did not even flinch as the one person I cared about above all others was cast to Humanity. Yes, he chose it…but Father could have convinced him otherwise. And when you all bad-mouthed and despised him for his independence, I turned my cheek to it and did not offer a word of protest."

Wounds he could not feel opened up on his palms beneath his fingernails, "And this is my reward? Isolation from my family and my home?"

Uriel rolled his eyes, "There will be a trial, Castiel."

"I am not worthy of Heaven's trust and love" Castiel turned his head just enough, watching his brother from the corner of his eye "Is that what you are trying to tell me, Uriel?"

"Is the law on my side if I say aye?"

"No."

"Then so be it" Uriel stepped back "Ryanimay is mine."

Uriel was gone with a rustle of feathers.

Castiel's knees nearly gave out.

He could not let his Beloved die at Uriel's hands.

()()()

Dean didn't grumble about being stuck in his own back seat, he just watched the scenery of the day go by. Jensen was brooding a bit at his side, hating that Dean was willing to submit to Sam's will so easily these days. Just because he was freakishly juiced up, didn't mean hey had to tag along like puppies.

Of course, it was probably better than Jared's deal.

Jared was curled up in the passenger seat, forehead pressed to the window and long arms wrapped around his torso.

Dean and himself had heard all that had gone on last night, and he had almost cried from it. Everyone in a twenty mile radius could feel the half-angel Fall. The only thing that kept him from going over there and stopping it all had been the strong arms around him, the husky voice in his ear. Dean had pointed out that Sam was lost right now, and he wouldn't hesitate to crush him if he tried to get between him and his blood.

And didn't the fact that Dean was referring to his best friend as 'blood' freak him out more than anything?

Answer: Yes.

Sam was driving a bit too fast and his eyes kept flickering, but he was still their Sam. At least, they hoped so. Otherwise they were being driven who knows where by a demonic stranger. They had been driving for ten hours straight, living off the provisions Jared kept stored in the back seat. Thankfully Jared had been able to convince his lover for one bathroom break, so no one was in any serious danger.

Sam wouldn't tell them where they were going, driven by his internal compass alone.

Jared had calmly explained to them this morning why he had done what he had done. Ryanimay couldn't be found by any human means, and without Castiel they were lost. But with this new boost, Sam could do…_anything_, really. It was still a bit new for the youngest Winchester, but he was keeping it reined in. Last night he had nearly blown up the room with the sudden surge, but he was getting used to it.

For some reason, it wasn't fading like Ruby's surges used to. This was so much purer, more potent, and it seemed to stay in his veins.

Good, the more time the better.

Dean leant forward in his seat, reaching over the right side of the head rest and brushing Jared's cheek with his knuckles. The half-angel smiled at him in the side mirror, the touch one of comfort. It was a silent communication between them.

_You ok?_

Jared nodded slightly, nuzzling against the hunter's hand. Dean's hand drifted down to his shoulder and gave a squeeze.

_Everything will be fine._

It was a lie, but it helped.

"We're getting closer" Sam announced, revving the engine a bit more than necessary and grinning "I can almost taste him now. He's a warehouse in the next town, he's got wards up to shield his presence. He thinks he can hide, but I can see him plain as day."

Jared managed to speak up, "Sam-"

"Don't" Sam cut him off "You can't talk me out of it. This is why you gave me your blood, right?"

"I just…" Jared bit his lower lip "I want you to be careful. This is a lot of power, and I don't want you to get…lost in it."

Sam laughed, eyes still on the road.

"Oh babe, you worry too much. Don't you realize what I can do with this? Everything's going to be fine, you'll see. Ryanimay will die, your contract will be up, and then we can go on with our lives."

//Yeah right// Dean scoffed lightly, Jensen shifting beside him as his thoughts went the same way as the oldest Winchester's //Cause life's that easy, Sammy.//

Jared nearly whimpered, rubbing his palm over his eyes, //What have I done?//

Damned the world, that's what.

Jared shook his head to dislodge the thoughts, //Don't think like that.//

He swallowed a few times, but the lump of guilt in his throat wouldn't leave.

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (all about us)**_


	46. Chapter 46

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {46-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards. I definitely do not own Ryan, I swear. He is his own, I am just using his image.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!

* * *

The beautiful, infamous Impala pulled up in front of the warehouse.

Sam all but leapt out, fingers twitching as he bounced impatiently on the balls of his feet. The others took a bit more time, observing their surroundings. Who gave a fuck what the name of the town was, they were just thankful that no one seemed to be around. There was a vibe in the air, it pushed at them almost physically to leave this place.

It was twilight, the sun was just half-faded behind the nearby buildings. The warehouse was large and grey, cut sharply at the corners. It had quite the formidable appearance, and if you looked closely and knew what you were searching for…there were sigils on every window. Hell, on every entrance.

Jensen approached it first, face set in determination. Sam opened his mouth to protest a warning, but it was too late. Jensen reached out for the faux-steel knob that led inside and was jolted, crying out in surprise/pain before nearly falling on his ass to get away. Dean wrapped a protective arm around his waist, then took the burned hand of his lover and examined it closely.

"Shit" Jensen's wide emerald eyes locked on the faintly glowing door "The bitch burned me!"

"I wanted to warn you" Sam was nearly giddy with his power rush, concentrating on the door "It's magickally sealed."

Dean glared at his brother, "Then how the fuck are we -- Jesus, Sam!"

Why did he yell? Because his little brother just made the door fuckin' _explode_ with a slight nod of his head. We're talking hinges, doorknob, frame, _gone_ and shrapnel all over the fuckin' place. A triumphant grin twisted his mouth, but once he saw the gaping looks from the others he put on his kicked puppy mask.

"What?"

Jared and Jensen exchanged a look, //Too much power.//

"Come on" Sam urged them, walking over the cover of splinters through the door "He's probably cowering in the corner somewhere. I, for one, am not going to let him take the chance to get away."

They all followed like reluctant, bitter pups.

The warehouse was huge from the inside, filled with stacks upon stacks of crates. One of the open crates revealed packing peanuts and outdated kitchen appliances. It was plain, ordinary, so out of place for the lair of a Fallen Angel. Some stacks were all the way up to the ceiling, but most just made make-shift hallways in the long abandoned building.

Sam started prowling through the stacks, eyes darting to every crevice and shadowed curve of the entire warehouse. He looked like a predator, all determined features and clenched fists. Dean sighed and pulled out his sawed off shotgun, signaling for his lover to do the same. Jensen took out his silver .45 pistol, bracing it with his wrist and putting it to Sam's head.

Jensen swallowed nervously, jerking away from that instinct with a bitter taste in his mouth.

That wasn't for today.

"I know you're here, Ryanimay!" Sam barked to the ceiling, hands curled into fists at his side as his deep baritone echoed around the warehouse "You took my lover's soul, and I'm here to kick your ass for it! You think you can fuck with us and get away with it?"

"_And so, as kinsmen met a-night, we talked between the rooms_" the soft-spoken quote trickled over them, quieting the enraged Winchester. There, atop one of the stacks. A silhouette was visible for just a moment, then Ryanimay's face caught the light. He looked paler now, less powerful, scared.

Sam smirked up at him, "We're just one little rag-tag gang of humans. Why so scared, Ryan?"

Ryanimay scowled, "You know very well you four are more powerful than a normal group of humans."

The Winchester's laugh was cruel, "What? Is the little Fallen Angel scared?"

Ryan's eyes danced over Jared, a frown tugging at his full lips, "It seems you took his soul right back, Samuel."

The dark skinned man disappeared for just a second, reappearing not three feet away from Jared. The actor gave a very unmanly squeak, jumping backward and bumping into Jensen. Fierce golden eyes roved over him, studying him, a hand even reached out for him. Jared flinched, but didn't move away…not even when he heard Sam growl. Ryan's hand settled in the dip between his shoulder blades, the skin there itching from the contact almost instantly.

"You poor, pathetic thing" golden eyes hardened "I told you , didn't I? So many will be damned because you've failed."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about" Jared spat "And frankly -- I couldn't give a damn at this point. Who's going to suffer? I am. That shouldn't matter. At least with my blood…Sam won't be ripped from this world."

"Look at him" Ryan tossed his head in Sam's direction, disgusted "Is he even the same person you knew? The same man you fell in love with? What has he done lately to deserve your love -- let alone your respect? Use you like a battery? Take your blood? Nearly kill his own brother just because he touched you? He's not your Sammy, Jared…not anymore. And he never will be again."

"Shut up! I'm tired of you demons and your lies!" Sam's eyes went pure tar, his hand coming up to claw in the air "Stop trying to rip us apart!"

Invisible steel hooks slid into Ryan from every angle, jerking him from his spot. He found himself away from Jared, through the air and into the cement wall. He coughed out harshly, back smacking loudly against the solid surface. He thought that was it, then winced when the hooks stayed.

He couldn't stop the cry from falling from his lips when he was thrown again, going higher and farther. His head struck one of the overhead lights, shattering it and casting sparks over his hair. By the Grace of God, he didn't catch fire. The air left his lungs as he was slung once more towards the ground, collapsing in an empty crate. He landed in a heap of splinters, slightly dazed and lip bleeding.

Ryan sat up on his elbows, voice deadpan, "This isn't going well for me."

"You think this is a game?" Sam barked, pissed that the fallen angel seemed unruffled "You think trying to rip apart our family is amusing?!"

Sam's hand shot out, clamping down on the half-angel's throat. Ryan's eyes went wide as he was dragged up on his knees, watering at the lack of oxygen. This was what he got for making his own body instead of taking a vessel, he needed vital things like breath.

"Answer me! Is this funny to you?"Ryan managed a rasp, "Not really."

"God-forsaken trash" Sam snarled, using his power and chucking the fallen angel's body across the floor. Ryan groaned as his back smacked against the wall, dirt and dust from the cement floor clinging to his clothes and palms.

It couldn't happen like this. Ryan knew what was going to happen, what would become of him and the entirety of the world. Could he really give up so easily and seal their fate?

//No// Ryan managed to stand, head hung as he gathered up his strength //I did not fight my way out of the binds of Heaven to be destroyed by some little half-breed with delusions of grandeur.//

When he raised his head, his eyes blazed the purest gold.

Ryan felt the tug of Sam's power at the edges of his body, but fought it with everything he was. A slight sheen along his forehead was the only tell that he was struggling, but he kept his feet planted. Sam sneered, eyes flickering red around the edges.

"You've got power" the Winchester observed off-handedly.

"I was once an angel" Ryanimay replied evenly, wincing at a particularly hard tug.

"That doesn't matter now."

Sam physically came at him, something he wasn't expecting. He pushed back at Sam with his mind, but the man came none the less and struck out. His fist connected with flesh and bone, knocking the demon off-balance and causing him to sway. And here he thought Sam would want a power fight. But that wasn't enough, the assault didn't stop.

A fist to his chest, to his face, a knee in his gut. Ryan growled and struck back, managing an uppercut. He caught the Winchester under the chin, but he surprised himself so badly that he lost the good sense to follow through. He hadn't exchanged in hand-to-hand combat sense he had been an angel, and that…that was many a year ago.

Sam wasn't even phased, instead he whipped right back around and slammed Ryan into the wall with his mind. The demon grunted, the golden glow fading from his eyes briefly before returning full force. He stepped out and smacked Sam back, this time gaining some leverage and sending the youngest Winchester flying and landing flat on his back more than ten feet away.

Ryan could only let himself be triumphant for a moment, cause in the next he received a chest full of rock salt. He gasped in surprise, the blow sending him staggering into the wall again before collapsing to the floor. The salt burned into his flesh, searing his skin in a way it would have never done a millennia ago. His automatic response was to claw it from his skin, dislodging half and rubbing the rest in further.

The tips of his fingers burned.

Sam got to his feet, nodding at his brother (who had fired), "Not so Holy now, huh? How does it feel…to be burned by one of the only weapons Heaven has left for us against your kind?"

"M…Mo…" Ryan wheezed, fire shooting through his lungs "…_monster_!"

"How dare you?" Sam seethed, coming straight up to the fallen angel and glaring down at him "You have no right! You are the monster here, not me! You took the soul of a half-angel, one who was once your kin. Give me one reason why I shouldn't take your head?"

Ryan couldn't respond, he could only stare up at the demon-blooded youth who held his fate in his hands.

"No response…" Sam sneered, though not surprised "Let me show you a new trick I've learned."

Ryan's eyes went large as a wide palm was clamped down over his mouth, spanning the width of his jaw and cheeks easily. He held fast, even as the demon's hands came up to grip his wrist. Before Ryan could protest and rip the hand away, pure ice shot past his lips and down his throat. He stared up at Sam in horror, unsure what was going on. The rime seeped down his throat, into his lungs, down his torso, through his legs and arms, ending in his fingers and toes.

Strength was sapped from him, taken by the frost he could feel on the inside of his very muscles. He shuddered, fingers falling from their grip on the Winchester's wrist. His eyelids fell to half-mast, the golden glow fading from the orbs there. His lower lip quivered, his head tilted up so Sam could stare into his face and see his frailty.

"Wh-what are…you…?"

"Can you feel it? 'Cause I can" Sam's voice was low, in stereo, as if he were possessed "That's me…taking your power. I found out, once I tasted Jared's blood, I can absorb as well as expel demon power. It's going to make me a formidable leader, don't you think?"

Ryan shook his head weakly, trying to speak but unable to wrap his lips around the words or get them past his loose tongue, //No, Samuel…he's already formed his agenda. If he kills me, that's it. Game over. He won't even need the Colt if he takes my blood.//

Ryan's eyes drifted over to Jared, begging him silently, //Sweet half-angel, don't let him take my blood right in front of you. If he does, I'm afraid he would be unstoppable.//

But Jared's eyes were hard, as were Jensen's and Dean's. No one would save him, not now. Ryan was alone here in this warehouse, with his power slowly being sucked from his very marrow. His head was dizzy with it all, and he wasn't sure if those spots in front of his eyes were supposed to be there or not. He blinked dully up into Sam's face, a weak plea for his life.

//Father, no!//

"I'm going to devour you" Sam hissed, the others too far away to hear the pure malice in his words "But before that, I'm going to rip Jared's soul back from you. You are going to feel every excruciating inch, you'll die with the taste of your own blood in your mouth and my name on yours lips."

Ryanimay let his eyes drift shut, fearing the worst.

Sam was just tasting the first spike of this fallen angel's true power potential when he was pushed back, blinded by a single white light. He staggered away, scrubbing a hand over his eyes to banish the dots that stained his vision. He lifted his head, carefully blinking at the sight.

Jensen's brow drew, "Castiel?"

Castiel appeared there, between the fallen angel and Sam. He held out his hand solemnly, eyes hard and jaw set in a no-nonsense way that made even the youngest Winchester pause.

"Step aside, Castiel" Sam regained his composure, lifting his chin in defiance at the angel "This does not concern you or Heaven. This is my fight."

"I don't see a fight" the angel replied stiffly, lowering his hand "I see a slaughter waiting to happen."

"He took Jared's soul!"

"For it was his to give!"

"Do not fight me on this" Sam's eyes flickered red around the edges, ebony overcoming the orbs completely "I will take you down…do you hear me, Castiel? I will cut you down until you are nothing but feathers and blood if you don't _move_!"

On the word, Castiel swayed back under the force of heat and power that was pushed at him. He stayed strong though, not giving an inch and glaring back just as stubbornly.

"Sam, no!" Jensen dropped his gun, rushing forward to get between them. But Dean wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back to a safe distance, murmuring in his ear about what a stupid idea that would be right now.

"_Castiel_" the breathy rasp came from Ryan, weakened now more than half the power flowing through and lacing itself with the demon blood in Sam's veins.

Castiel shut his eyes to the sound, heart heavy in his chest.

"I knew you'd come for me" Ryan fell forward, fisting his hands in the plain slacks his lover wore. He rubbed his cheek along the firm muscle beneath the material, eyes fluttering shut in blissful devotion.

"You've displeased Heaven, Ryanimay" Castiel stated coldly.

"It doesn't matter" the demon sighed "You're here for me, Castiel."

Sam's eyes darted between them, "You would save this thing?"

Castiel cracked open his eyes, so much emotion in those intense cerulean orbs. He looked down at the demon, tilting his head and taking in all the details. Dyed, spiked hair…soft, mocha skin. Ryan tipped his head back and peered up at the angel, looking at him like he was all he'd ever want or need. His salvation. His lover. This was the sole chink in Castiel's armor, one of the greatest dents in his faith.

_Heaven did not trust him._

"Uriel is instructed by the Higher Order to kill you on sight" Castiel's voice was low, deadpan "And this boy here would kill you too. Easily."

Golden eyes widened, "Has Heaven turned against me so quickly? _Uriel_…truly?"

Castiel stepped back, forcing the demon to let go of him. He faced him, face set in determination and pain.

"I will not let them" Castiel whispered "This I promise you, my Ryanimay."

"Thank you, Castiel" Ryan's sighed in spurts, ready to sob he was so relieved "Thank you. I knew you'd come for me."

Sam growled behind them, fists clenched, "You can't stop me!"

"I _will_, Samuel" Castiel stated firmly, not looking away from his beloved "You will not touch him. No one else will touch him."

Ryan met those azure eyes straight on, smiling in relief, "I knew you loved me, Beloved. I knew it."

The iris's of the angels eyes glowed faintly, his palm coming up slowly. Ryanimay watched it's ascent, breath catching in his throat. He wanted to beg for his life, beg for mercy, beg for anything but this.

But he loved Castiel…he trusted him.

"_And so, as kinsmen met a-night, we talked between the rooms_…" Ryan recited quietly, knees giving away to fold on either side of him.

Castiel's mouth quivered, but he didn't stop.

"_Until the moss had reached our lips_…" his lover's palm touched his mouth, fingers curling around his cheek and jaw "…_and covered up our names_."

Castiel couldn't even force a goodbye past his throat before it happened. He drew Ryanimay from his body, the warmth of his power (of his spirit) flowing out through his palm and up his arm. He leeched into the rest of his body, hitting his heart so hard he nearly choked.

Ryan jerked once, one hand coming up to grip the angel's wrist. It wasn't really a struggle, he couldn't find it in him to move. He stared up at his lover sympathetically, knowing it must be killing him to do this. Golden eyes leaked tears of their own accord, the salty warmth staining the pale digits holding him in place. Ryan felt the last of his strength leave him, his very _soul_ leaving him.

This body that he loved so much was dying, everything he had worked for…every deal he had made was breaking. He could feel -one by one- the binding chords on his heart give way beneath the cold steel of his lover's power. He was going numb, his heart was slowing…he could feel himself fading.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Sam was supposed to try and kill him and Castiel was going to stop him.

This…this was wrong.

Castiel watched in sorrow as the last of the gold faded from his beloved's orbs, leaving them a dull grey. The hand on his wrist dropped, the fingers cold now. Castiel dropped his hand, stomach churning when Ryanimay's body remained still on it's own for just a few seconds before dropping forward. The thump of the lifeless body was loud in the quiet warehouse, sickening even.

Sam groaned quietly, putting a hand over his stomach. The power he had acquired from Ryanimay drained out of him, it went to it's rightful place inside the angel instead.

Castiel tipped his head back briefly, eyes closed and breath ragged. He could feel his lover's life force within him, mingling with his own. It eased the ache of his heart, but not by much. Angels could not be killed, not truly and completely in the sense demons could. They were like humans, their souls could be recycled.

But Ryanimay would never live again, not in the sense he had been before.

Castiel put a hand to his mouth to try and stop the desperate sound that wanted to escape, but instead he had to hold down the contents of his stomach.

He could taste Ryanimay's tears on his skin.

"Castiel…" Jensen got loose from his lover, stepping forward. He could taste the grief rolling off his guardian like a bitter cologne, he couldn't just let it go. Castiel didn't turn to him, but he couldn't let that stop him.

"You did the right thing" Jensen assured him, keeping his tone steady "Whatever the reason you feel guilty, you have to know that this was good. You saved Jared, you kept Sam from killing what he had no right to kill."

"Hey!" Sam protested, but his lover gripped his wrist and shook his head "But I-"

"No, don't" Jared looked the angel over carefully "Not now."

"Castiel" Jensen didn't want to get too close, but he tried to be earnest "It's what God would have wanted."

Castiel whipped around, a snarl on his lips, "There is no God that would make me destroy the only one I've ever dared to call my own!"

Jensen winced away at the sting of his guardian's tone, and when he looked again Castiel was gone.

Sam walked over, ebony bled away to hazel, "This isn't fair."

"Are you happy?" Jared snapped "He's dead, alright? A fallen angel is dead. You got your way, Heaven got it's way, and the demon blood inside of you got it's way. Are we done now? Can we just…get past this?"

Sam nodded stiffly, but couldn't help but wish he had kept that power.

Dean took his lover's hand, trying to keep him grounded, "Jen?"

Jensen swallowed thickly, "We're becoming monsters."

"Don't say shit like that" Dean scolded him "Just…_don't_."

Although reluctant, Jensen let himself be led out of the warehouse.

_**TBC**_

_**All about us (all about us)**_


	47. Chapter 47

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {47-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

* * *

In a field in New Zealand, the sky was angry.

A huge storm rolled in without any real warning, scaring the locals so bad they ran into their homes and locked them down. It was a rural area, only two villages in hundreds of miles in any direction. The field was thick with freshly shorn grass, the sheep huddled off to the side had made sure of that.

The sky was filled with thick clouds in a constant race with their brothers, pouring over one another in an attempt to get to the end of eternity first. Lightening flashes in the far off hills, never too close to this particular field. Rain was close, but it was slow to fall with the clouds moving so quickly. The wind was fast-paced and unforgiving, biting at the poor sheep. The trees whipped and bent under the force with a synchronization rivaled only by the Russian ballet.

On one of the highest knolls, a lone figure stood.

Castiel looked out at the scenery, feeling nothing in particular. This wasn't Warrior-of-God-Stoic, this was I-just-killed-the-only-person-who's-ever-loved-me-unconditionally cold. Though he couldn't stop them, tears slicked his cheeks. He had tried wiping them away, they kept coming.

His trench coat whipped around his legs viciously. He recalled once how Ryanimay questioned why he kept that certain attire, had offered other clothes that would "flatter his figure." But this wasn't truly his figure, was it? You couldn't put clothes on his true form.

But Ryanimay was always a selfish thing…but he was _his_.

//Had been// Castiel corrected himself, bringing up one hand to rub at the place over his heart.

"My Ryanimay…" Castiel sighed out brokenly.

A loud crack of thunder hid the rustle of wings.

"Castiel?"

"Uriel" Castiel didn't have to look to know that borrowed voice "I expected you to come."

"Of course I'd come" the younger angel growled "Do you think your actions would go unnoticed by God? By me?"

Castiel turned, face set in a stony expression, "I had hoped not."

"You…?" Uriel seemed baffled, then sobered "Ryanimay's death was my privilege, and mine alone."

"Privilege?" Castiel narrowed his eyes "He was once our brother! How can you be so cold?"

"For he is a betrayer, he abandoned Heaven."

"Did he?" Castiel tilted his head "Or did he not just wish for Free Will?"

"Free Will?" Uriel scoffed "That is for the humans, and for them alone. They are the lesser beings and will be left to their own devices. But we, my brother, we are God's true children. For that, we are given Divine guidance and purpose."

The raven haired angel turned away, eyes on the sky as he pondered this.

"Ryanimay abandoned this" Uriel crept closer, cautious "He found what is Blessed a curse."

"He was beautiful, and he was mine" Castiel spoke evenly, mournful "His life was mine alone to take. Not for you or Samuel Winchester."

"Winchester" Uriel spat the word like poison "They are not worthy of anything. As the half-breed grows stronger, the Garrisons have become more concerned. It is only a matter of time before we are given orders to kill him as well. He is a liability, at best. With that half-angel feeding him by the mouthfuls, he will soon be too strong to take down easily."

Castiel ran his tongue over his lower lip, tasting his grief a bit too strongly.

Uriel peered closer at him, "Are you…? Are you crying?"

Castiel tilted his head away, but it was too late.

"You cry tears for the scum that betrayed us?!" Uriel seized his shoulder and whipped him around, face contorted in rage "Angels do not cry!"

"Why not?" the other angel asked breathlessly " Can we not feel grief? Why shouldn't we cry for the fall of those we loved?"

"Love? Grief?" Uriel released him, disbelief on his face "Playing guardian angel to a human has tainted you, Castiel. You cry, you feel, you act-out against orders. That is how Ryanimay started."

"…maybe that isn't such a horrible thing."

"You have lost your mind" Uriel decided then "You…you have no idea what you're saying. You've been here on earth too long, it has affected your judgment."

"I believe so as well."

"You will come back to Heaven" the dark skinned angel demanded "I will put you in front of the Garrison, plead your case. But I cannot guarantee they grant leniency on you just because your mind has gone."

Castiel clicked his tongue thoughtfully, "The last time I checked…you are still not my boss. I don't have to listen to you."

Uriel positively sputtered.

"You told me I am not worthy of Heaven's trust or love…" Castiel turned back to him "So why should I go there and beg for my life? For mercy on my poor conflicted soul?"

"Ryanimay was a favorite of Father's, a favorite of us all" Uriel pointed out calmly "He was shown leniency for that reason and that reason only. He spit in the face of our Father yet was forgiven, cast down to Earth with his memories and his choice of vessel."

Yes, he knew the story well.

"Despite your relationship with him, Castiel…you will _not_ be shown the same treatment."

And why didn't this shock him?

"Why not?"

"For Ryanimay's betrayal blindsided us" Uriel drew back his lips in a snarl "Yours? It would no be so surprising."

Castiel's knuckles went white at his sides, "You just do not understand."

"I know what I do understand" Uriel suddenly grabbed at him, seizing his collar and yanking it to the side. The slighter angel pulled away, but not in time for his brother to miss the fading hickey's on his borrowed flesh. Left there by Ryanimay…but his beloved would not be there to kiss at them lovingly and coo over how pleased it made him to leave marks on him like an animal.

"You rolled with the Dirt" the dark skinned angel made a face of disgust "You tainted your Grace for carnal pleasures. Are you not ashamed of yourself for indulging in such acts?"

"No."

"You should be. To let the Scum put their hands on you?" Uriel shivered in distaste "I see clearly now why Heaven doubted you."

This snapped something in Castiel, something primal.

"I am tired of Heaven's doubt in me" Castiel growled, facing the other angel with all the might he possessed "I am tired of being cast aside, looked down upon, and scolded for mingling with our Father's greatest Creation. At least they give me the respect I deserve!"

"They do not respect you" the dark skinned angel countered "They scorn you, hate you for what you are."

"It does not matter now" Castiel grit his teeth "None of it does. Ryanimay is gone. I tried to bring him to the side of what I thought was good, but really…he was in the right all along."

Uriel's brow creased, "What do you mean, brother?"

"I am not your brother" Castiel turned away from the angel "Not anymore. I'm done."

"You can't just quit being an angel!" Uriel was outraged "You can never escape what you are! What? Do you think you can keep your vessel and try to play off as human? Father will never allow it!"

"I quit. I turn my back on all I used to believe."

Uriel stepped closer, "You would become my enemy?"

"I wash my hands clean of all this mess. Of Heaven, of Father, and of you, Uriel" Castiel slipped his hand into the depths of his coat, jaw set in his determination "To show my true intentions, it must all start with you."

Uriel did not react fast enough to stop the assault.

Castiel drew a cursed knife, the blood-silk scarf it had been wrapped in fluttered in the air. It caught the wind and flew to the right, distracting Uriel long enough. Castiel pivoted on the balls of his feet, ramming the blade into his brother's chest without hesitation. Dark eyes went wide, locking with stony cerulean orbs. He dropped to his knees, the knife still embedded to the hilt in his body.

It was not as dramatic as Castiel would have hoped, but it was quite effective.

"The only thing that can kill an angel is another angel" Castiel stated softly as he gave the knife a good twist, refusing to look away as the life drained from Uriel's eyes and his vessel jerked "You should have taken me down while I had the chance. Because now? I am just another bitter enemy of Heaven who will do what I can to extract my revenge and make whatever plans you have that much more difficult."

Castiel let go of the knife, Uriel's body crumpling to the ground. He observed the fierce glow from his eyes, the way his fists clenched, the way he thrashed only once.

A blinding light swarmed out from the vessel, brightening the entire field.

But it died out just as quickly as it came, leaving only a corpse and the shadow of wings burned into the grass.

Castiel scoffed at the sight, stepping up and pulling his knife from his once-brother's chest. With a curl of his fingers, the silk scarf returned to twine with his digits. He wrapped the material around the knife carefully, securing it before slipping it back into the inner pocket of his trench coat.

"Ryanimay is dead, my wings are ashen, and I have killed my brother" Castiel did not know who he spoke to, but his lips were quirking upwards dangerously "There is not much else that can happen that could truly hurt me. I really am done."

Castiel's chest trembled, and his head jerked to the side.

Before he could stop himself, he was laughing.

Castiel collapsed to his knees, laughing loud and hard into the field. Tears streamed from his eyes and his arm was around his torso. Everything was just so humorous, he couldn't stop. His entire vessel shook with the force, feeling so human for the first time. He had never laughed before, not like this.

Castiel flopped down into the grass, chest heaving and laughter dieing into the sky.

It was going to be entertaining to see how this ended.

()()()

Jensen jerked away, crying out as his foot struck something hard.

Jensen kept still for a full minute, forcing himself to wake up completely before he tried again. He cracked open his eyes, finding his best friend blinking at him from down the seat. The Impala was cutting through the night easily, Dean trying to get away from the town Ryanimay had died in as fast as he could. They would be stopping soon for a ratty motel, but not until they were out of the state.

"You ok?" Jared asked softly "You were looking kind of twitchy there for a while."

"Something's happened" Jensen rasped, licking his dry lips "I…Castiel, he…"

"Shh, Jense, it was just a nightmare" Jared cooed, opening his arms.

Without a second thought, Jensen crawled across the seat and curled up into the half-angel's arms. The irises of his eyes glowed softly, hand skirting over the older man's shoulders and back. Jensen sighed and buried his face in his chest, eyelids fluttering shut.

He was asleep within in the minute.

"Is he ok?" Dean glanced at them from the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, I think I have that sleep mojo Castiel has" Jared observed, tucking his chin over the slighter man's head and sighing softly "It was just a nightmare, he's fine."

Sam sighed heavily, resting his head back against the seat. Something strong had pulled Jensen from sleep, and whatever it was he could taste it in the air.

//Uriel's dead// Sam's eyes flashed briefly, lips turning upward in a smile //Well, hot damn Castiel! I didn't know you had it in you. I could sense it the moment that power was inside me…he was yours, wasn't he? 'Companion of Thursday', it makes sense now.//

Sam chuckled softly, gaining a strange look from his brother.

//Poor Castiel. Killing your lover a bit too much for you? You're so bitter now, aren't you?// Sam rubbed at his mouth, his humor dieing off into thoughtfulness //This could be useful to me.//

In the back, Jared just buried his face in Jensen's soft hair and hoped the malicious intent he felt wasn't coming from his lover.

_**TBC**_

_**There's a thing that they can't touch**_


	48. Chapter 48

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {48-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Spoilers for _DeVour_.

* * *

//_My God, they think I killed them? The Devil couldn't kill her child, so this is how she makes me pay…for wanting to be human? But maybe they're right. Maybe there is no Pathway. And this is all a fantasy I've created to live with the horrible things I'd done…Wake me from this nightmare. Please. Help me._//

The credits rolled.

Dean reached out blindly for the remote, finding it hidden within the folds of the comforter. He clicked the TV off, the DVD ejecting from the player.

The hotel was pretty well-equipped. One-hundred eighty bucks a night, but worth it. Two separate rooms, a large king-sized each, and privacy for each couple.

Dean was propped up against the headboard, legs crossed Indian style and expression thoughtful. Jensen was half curled at the foot of the bed, the corner of the sheet lazily pulled over his hip. He had his head pillowed on his folded arms, half-lidded eyes darting away from the screen not for the first time in 190 minutes. They were both clad in nothing but their boxers and old band t-shirts, having settled down for the night.

"Ok" Dean rolled out of the bed, walking over to the TV stand to get his DVD "That's the third time I've watched this thing, and I still don't know what the fuck happened."

"The third time?" Jensen raised his head, watching his boyfriend's ass as it was paraded by the TV "Dude, you can't be serious."

"First time was when I looked you up on the internet, before we got together" Dean hid his blush "I saw it was a movie where you had the lead role, and I couldn't resist. I went to and bought it."

"Narcissist" Jensen muttered, his own cheeks staining "Did you, uh…like it?"

"One of my favorite movies" Dean snapped the DVD back into it's case, the bone-white eyes of his lover looking at him from the cover "Confusing, but cool. You were the Prince of Darkness…that's pretty sweet in and of itself, man."

"Yeah" Jensen rolled over on his back, sighing "I don't even know what fuckin' happened. All I know is what they told me, which wasn't a helluva lot."

"The cutting-off-your-tongue thing made me cringe, and I thought that guy was gonna rape you. You know, the one from the Pathway?" Dean scoffed "He was like an inch from your face, I was expecting it to turn into a whole different movie."

"You would" Jensen suddenly colored, pulling the sheet over his face "Oh my God! I dozed off during the middle, but _fuck_! I just realized that you saw me in that lame sex scene with Dominique!"

"Ooo, exotic name" Dean waggled his eyebrows, going over to rip the sheet from his boyfriend's face "Dude, it's fine. I didn't even know it was a sex scene until you started moaning."

When Jensen's face was revealed, his brow was creased, "How could you not know?"

Dean gave him a look, plopping down on the bed, "Well, let's make a list. **One**: you were in a chair. **Two**: You both had your clothes on. **Three**: I didn't know there would be any hook-ups in the movie. **Four**: It only happened once, and it was out of nowhere."

"It _was_ weird" Jensen crinkled his nose at this "You know, the dude who played my dad was my actual dad."

"Seriously?" something sparked in Dean's eyes "Your real dad? Wow…that's weirder."

"Why?" he inquired.

"Dude, it's kinda difficult for me to believe you were raised by some other parents" Dean snorted out a forced laugh "I mean, I just kinda associate you with me…mine. I dunno."

Jensen let it go, knowing it must be hard for his boyfriend to admit he had a full life before they ever met.

"Did you at least learn anything from it?"

"Yeah" Dean's face split into a grin. He got on all fours, hovering over his lover's face. Jensen flushed more, dark jade eyes locking with his own upside down.

"What?" the actor breathed.

"You…have freckles" Dean's eyes darted all over the slighter man's face, noting how prominent the freckles were to how half-hidden they were on screen "Everywhere. And that, my pretty Jenny, has to be the cutest fuckin' thing I've ever seen."

"Don' make fun of my freckles" Jensen grumbled, turning his face away.

Dean leant down and nosed his cheek, a gesture of affection, "Don't be like that, Jen. You were hotter than anything in that movie. It's kind of sick…but seeing that Devil creature tilt back your head and pour that blood down your throat…it kinda turned me on. Not to mention watching that bimbo riding you, seeing your face as you tried to make it look like it was good."

Dean dropped hot, moist kisses along his lover's throat (the upside-down angle didn't even phase him), "Too bad it wasn't me there, baby. I bet I coulda made it look real good for the camera…coulda got you to scream for them. Much better than that bitch, anyways. I coulda had you writhing and bucking right there in that damn chair if it was me riding you."

"_Fuck_, Dee" Jensen keened, hips rolling at the promise in that voice "Don't say shit like that."

"You love it" Dean dropped a last chaste kiss on the boy's cheek before pulling away. He grabbed the stashed liquor bottle from beneath the bed, showing it to the man. Jensen grinned at the bottle of spiced rum, something he had pointed out to his lover in a gas station not ten miles back and whispered about how good that would taste at about one in the morning.

Too bad it was only midnight, but whatever.

Dean screwed the cap off and took a long swig, groaning and smacking his lips, "Damn, thas' good. Drink?"

"Hells yeah" Jensen sat up, grinning and accepting the bottle. He sniffed at it, letting out a sigh at the overly familiar scent. "Bottoms up, man."

With a single snap of his fingers, he slugged down two shots.

Dean's brow furrowed, "Did you…? You did not just quote _Lost Boys_, did you?"

"And why shouldn't I?" Jensen's voice was breathy from the burn of the alcohol, but the warmth that curled in his stomach made it worth it "Kiefer Sutherland is a damn beautiful man, with a voice that can turn me on in five seconds flat. You think I watched _Phone_ _Booth_ for Colin Farrell? _Please_. I've watched every one of his movies…I'm a big fan of _24_."

"Huh" Dean pulled a face "I find myself strangely jealous."

"You shouldn't" Jensen tipped back another shot, then passed the bottle "I saw him at a party once. Real life, handsome, tan flesh all there for me too touch. I was really drunk, and if it wasn't for my Chrissy I would have gotten a restraining order."

"Christian Kane?" he got a nod "Damn. So…this best friend of yours…he does good by you? Keeps you out of trouble? Keeps you from mauling celebrities?""Oh yeah" it hurt Jensen's heart to talk about Chris, about how he'd never see him again. His mind raced for another topic, but Dean beat him to it. The Winchester looked off toward the far wall, scooting closer and pressing their shoulders. Jensen keened into the warmth, nosing at the part of the man's threadbare t-shirt that covered his shoulder.

"The little brother on _Lost Boys_: Sammy" Dean traced the slick rim of the bottle with his thumb, staring down into the amber-shaded liquid "When I first watched it, he reminded me of my Sammy. I kind of thought of myself as Michael for a bit after that, the way we would act…it was just like them. The way they rough-housed and were always inches apart, close like brothers should be. But maybe, after all this time…he's become Michael."

"As in: '_My own brother! A goddamn shit-sucking vampire! You wait 'till I tell mom!_' "

"Yeah, like that" Dean clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth "But hey…maybe we'll kill our proverbial 'David' and we'll all revert back to normal?"

They both knew what a crock of shit that was. The way Sam's been, juiced up on angel blood, he would end up killing them all if he wasn't careful.

"You know…" Jensen began idly "There was one scene in that movie where Michael and Sam's lips basically touched. I'm thinking they were fucking when Mom wasn't home."

Dean pulled a disgusted face, "Jensen!"

"What?" Jensen fluttered his lashes, pure innocence "It's not like brother-cest is unheard of."

"Sam was like -- twelve!" Dean made a move to slap his boyfriend's arm, but was swatted back for his effort "And you're a fuckin' perv, man. They were brothers, and that's it."

"Ok, sweetcheeks, if you say so" Jensen shrugged, reaching for the bottle only to have it snatched away.

Dean narrowed his eyes, "Sweetcheeks?"

Jensen gave him his best all-American-boy-next-door grin, "Well, you did offer to give me a ride so hard I scream, right? Or were you just talkin' big?"

The bottle's lid was screwed back on in two rough movements, then rolled to the floor where it thudded and sat quietly. Dean pinned the actor down by straddling his hips, seizing his wrist with a smirk of his own. He drew two of those lightly calloused fingers into his mouth, getting them nice and wet while savoring the moans he received for his efforts.

He let them go with an obscene pop, lips glistening, "You want in on this number? Then show me your moves, _Jake_."

"I'm gonna ignore the way you just quoted _Final Fantasy._"

"You do that, and I'm gonna ignore the fact that you can call me on it."

()

Jared didn't know what time it was, and he didn't know what had woken him. All he knew was that he was in the depths of dreamless sleep when the proverbial bucket of cold water fell over him, his hair standing on end and his breath catching. Jared was jerked very roughly out of his slumber, instincts kicking in so fast he didn't even feel the knife in his palm until he had already pulled it out from beneath his pillow.

The hotel (oh yeah, with an "h" bi-atch) room was dark, the only light from the wall lamp in the fall corner. He blinked a few times, willing his eyes to focus. When they did, they landed on the figure standing by his bed. He braced himself for a fight, but the light caught in copper hair and he knew who it was.

"Sammy…" Jared sighed, tucking the knife back under his pillow "Pet, you scared me."

Sam just stood there, still and breathing quietly. He was only in his old sweatpants, the tan cut of his hipbones defined by the faded material. His face was smooth of any emotion, eyes shadowed. It could have been a trick of the light, or Sam could've been tasting his new power right then.

"Sam" Jared sat up on his elbows, worry etching itself into the lines of his face "Why aren't you in bed?"

Sam merely cocked his head to the side, silent.

Jared swallowed thickly, "What's wrong?"

The Winchester stepped closer, the hand that wasn't clenched into a fist swung out toward him. His fingertips trailed up the actor's tan chest, touching his bracelet briefly, then skimming his collarbone…pressing into the flesh of his neck. Jared drew in a sharp breath, tilting his head to the side enough to ease the pressure.

"_Don't_" Jared cursed the fear that crept into his voice "Whatever it is you're going to do, Sam…just don't."

This seemed to shake Sam out of his trance. The taller man stepped back, hazel returning to his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Sorry" his voice was hoarse "You just looked so beautiful lying there."

//Beautiful enough to kill.//

Jared glanced at his lover's clenched fist, "What's that?"

Sam brought his fist up, slowly uncurling his fingers to reveal his phone PDA. The Winchester blinked at it like he had never seen it before, then offered it out like a kid with a toy.

"My dad called, he wants us to meet up" Sam replied evenly "He said that he's finally nailed down a pattern for Azazel, and he might know where the next strike is. He says to bring the Colt."

"Ok, yeah" Jared nodded "We'll tell Dean in the morning. He's probably still up with Jen, but there's no reason to disturb them."

"There's something else…" Sam added, voice picking up so that he sounded like his normal self (instead of a zombie) "He said that Azazel might have children, and that we should watch out for them. They'll be after the Colt, and there's almost nothing they wouldn't do for it."

Jared nodded again, understanding.

"I should…" Sam sat the phone on the bedside drawer "We should get some sleep. We've got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow…Manning."

Jared pulled back the covers, "Come on, Sammy."

Sam obeyed the request, sliding in beside the man and curling himself around him.

Jared dropped a kiss on his lover's tan shoulder, nuzzling into it with a light sigh.

And he tried to calm his gyrating heart.

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know (ah ah)**_


	49. Chapter 49

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {49-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Salvation", and basically all of first and second season that involves Azazel

**(AN:** Let's just say, for arguments sake, John left three years ago and _that's_ when Dean went to get his brother. Cause I've actually fucked up this story line so much, I'm really not sure how everything fits. Just try to enjoy the ride, huh?**)**

* * *

//Manning, Colorado// Jared looked around the cabin carefully, noting all the pictures and all the maps hanging on the walls //Shit, this isn't good at all.//

"First off, boys" John sat down at the table, right in front of Sam's laptop "Did you take care of that…uh, that demon that made Jared's deal?"

Jared shot Dean a dirty look, "You told him?"

"Yeah, cause he's my dad" Dean shot him a trite look in response "And, Dad, it turned out to be a Fallen Angel -turned- Crossroads demon."

John just blinked at him, "Well that sucks."

"He was taken care of" Sam cut it short, hands busy with shucking off his coat "No big deal."

The others didn't say a word about what had happened, it was best not to bring it up. They all still felt a little sore about what had went down, and none of them were about to invoke Sam's ire.

"And you…" John flicked his fingers at Jensen "You doing ok now, Hollywood?"

"I'm fine" Jensen assured him, hands buried in Dean's old jean jacket "It was just a thing, I'm over it now."

John nodded, leaning forward until his elbows touched the table. He ran his fingers over his mouth thoughtfully, then gestured out again.

"So this is it" John declared, eyes darting around "This is everything I know."

The Colt was laid out on a stack of papers, catching the light.

"Look, our whole lives we've been searching for this demon. Right? Not a trace, just…_nothing_" John met his boys' gazes, getting subtle nods and flickers of frustration "Until about three years ago. For the first time, I picked up the trail."

Dean cocked his head, "That's when you took off."

"Yeah. That's right."

Dean and Sam shared a look, but didn't interrupt.

John thumbed his bottom lip, "The demon must have been hiding or in hibernation."

The oldest Winchester noted the look, "You boys must be pretty mad that I haven't let you in."

Sam scoffed, "Just a bit."

"That's what this is" John pointedly looked around again "The trail, the hunt. I'm letting you in because you're ready, but I'm ready."

"Liar" Jared was only half-teasing "You're letting us in because Azazel (aka: Ol'-Yellow-Eyes) has finally showed himself on the radar again."

The older man gave him a stern look, "Hush up, boy."

"Don't be a prick, Jare" Jensen poked him hard in the side, getting a squirm and a grunt for his efforts.

"Alright" Dean stood before his father, open to whatever he was saying "So, what's this trail you found?"

"Starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California" John kept looking over at Sam, gauging his reaction to all this "Houses burned to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us."

"Families with infants?" Sam inquired.

"Yeah" John admitted "The night of the kid's 6-month birthday."

Sam kinda perked up a bit at this, "I was six months old that night?"

"Exactly six months."

"So basically this demon is going after these kids" Jared stared out the window, brow furrowed "For some reason or another."

Sam scoffed, "Same way it came for me?"

John rubbed at his mouth, Dean knew where this was going.

The youngest Winchester gripped the sink behind him hard, "So Mom's death, Jessica…it's all cause of me?"

Dean sighed, "We don't know that, Sam."

"Oh really?" Sam pushed away from the sink "Cause I say we're pretty damn sure, Dean."

"Sam, stop" Jared pleaded softly, bringing up two fingers to rub at his temple. He knew about Jess, about how much Sam had loved her, about how he had even planned to marry her but had put it off for some unknown reason. He remembered how guilty Sam had felt one night and called him, claiming that he thought he hadn't stopped Jessica's death just to get out of the engagement without hurting her.

Dean turned to his brother, "For the last time: What happened to them was not your fault."

"Yeah, you're right" Sam raised his voice "It's not my fault, but it's my problem."

"No it's not your problem" Dean shot his brother a fierce glare, voice hard "It's _our_ problem."

"Okay" John stood suddenly, frustrated "That's enough."

Dean and Sam both looked at their father, then each other. Sam turned away, trying to gather himself. John got out from behind the desk, unsure if he was going to have to break up a fight. Jensen watched on silently, fists still clenched in the depths of his jacket.

"So why is it doing it?" Sam stated suddenly, trying to keep his mind on the present "What does it want? Why did he give me his blood? These powers? What was the point of all of this?"

"Sam, I wish I had more answers. _I do_" John sounded a tinge guilty and very exasperated "I've always been one step behind it. Look, I've never gotten there to save…"

John's voice trailed off, a tearful silence set in. Minds went to all the familiar this thing had killed…all the people who had been in the way. Mary Winchester, Jessica, nameless fathers and mothers and siblings who had been burnt up in houses in towns that most of them had never known existed before the tragedies. Names and faces who were pinned up on these walls beside weather maps and Latin scriptures.

Dean leant against the table, eyes going to his father, "All right, so how do we find it before it hits again?"

John looked up finally, pulling himself from his thoughts, "There are signs. Look, it took me a while to see the pattern, but in the days before these fires, signs crop up in an area. Cattle deaths, uh, temperature fluctuations, electrical storms."

All were thinking the same thing.

"And then I went back and checked, and…"

"Those things happened in Lawrence?" Jensen offered timidly.

John nodded, though his eyes were on Dean, "The week before your mother died."

Dark eyes went to Sam next, "And in Palo Alto…before Jessica."

Sam's jaw clenched.

"And these signs, they're starting again."

Sam swallowed thickly, "Where?"

"Salvation, Iowa."

Jensen snorted, desperately trying to contain his laugh. Looks of horror were shot at him, accusing and like steel pinpricks all over his skin.

"I'm so sorry" Jensen pressed the joint of his thumb between his lips, biting down hard "That was completely inappropriate. But…no one else?"

"You're gonna have to ignore him" Dean informed his dad "His trip to Hell was a unique one."

"Salvation, Iowa" Jensen snickered silently, clenching his eyes shut as he tried to hide his amusement "You can't make that shit up, man."

()

**(AN:** Big spoilers for "Salvation" of season one. I can't recreate episodes very well, cause all the dialogue seems stunted and I can't capture the meaning and details of each moment like I would like to. So if you really want to get a good feel for what I'm laying down, you're gonna have to watch the episode while reading this. You dig? Good. Sam thing goes for very near-future chapters with the episode "Devil's Trap" Watch it and love it.**)**

They had been driving for some times when they finally made it to Iowa. Jared watched the back of a sign approach from his seat in the back, craning his neck to read it as they passed.

" '_Leaving Salvation, The Heartland of America_' " Jared read, eyes suddenly bugging " '_Are you ready for Judgment Day?_' Oh shit, guys…I think I just saw live-in-color foreshadowing."

"Calm down" Jensen was running a polishing cloth up and down his boot-knife, getting his body-on weapons ready just in case "It's probably nothing. Besides, if that glimpse I caught was right, the Jackpot here is 1.7 million. That's good, right?"

Dean's brow creased, "Dad's pulling over."

Jared hunkered down in his seat, wishing to disappear, "Here we go. Something's going down, man."

"Oh hush" Jensen hissed, pinching the younger man's arm and making him wince "You paranoid thing."

They pulled off over the main road. John got out of his truck first, the other four exchanging looks before they got out as well.

"Damn it" John cursed, kicking the ground.

"What is it?" Dean asked, confused.

"Son of a bitch!" John struck his truck, pissed.

"What is it?" his son repeated, worry in his tone.

"I just got a call from Caleb."

"Is he ok?"

"He's fine" John shoved his hands into his pockets, upset "Jim Murphy's dead."

Sam leaned against the car, face distraught, "Pastor Jim?"

John nodded, a mix of angry and crestfallen.

"How?" Sam breathed, disbelief in his eyes.

Jared tugged at Jensen's coat, leaning in to whisper in his ear, "Who's Pastor Jim?"

Jensen shrugged, "No fuckin' clue."

"Throat was slashed" John's voice took on a gravel edge "Bled out."

Sam huffed, knocking the side of his fist off the car.

"Caleb says they found traces of sulfur at Jim's place."

"A demon" Dean's nose crinkled "_The_ demon?"

"I don't know" John shook his head "Could be he just got careless, slipped up. Maybe the demon knows we're getting close."

Jensen stepped up beside his lover, "What do you wanna do, John?"

Jared sneered as the rain started to pick up, tucking himself into the folds of his jacket. This was just fuckin' perfect. Tension was thick, they were damp, and he hadn't been really warm in hours.

Fuckin' demons.

"Now we act like every second counts" John stated, going into drill sergeant mode "There's two hospitals and two health centers in this county. We split up, we cover more ground. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week."

"Dad, that's gotta be dozens of kids" Sam pointed out "How the hell are we gonna know which one's the right one?"

"We'll check 'em all, that's how" John snapped "You got any better ideas?"

Dean snuffed, giving his brother a look that said, _See what happens when you pick at Dad?_

Sam looked away from his lover, swallowing compulsively, "No sir."

//You have no idea// Sam seethed inwardly //I have so much power. I could kill you right now with just a thought. But you're my dad, and I'll play along.//

But Jared walked over and put an arm on the Winchester's back, silently pleading with him to calm down and not to tell John about the blood thing. That's all the man needed, to worry about whether his son was going Darkside or not

"Jensen, Jared" the boys perked up at this, eyes on the Winchester "I want you two to back each other up, take two of the ID's from my boys and take one of the health care centers. They're usually easier."

Sam shook his head, "Dad, they've never gone in alone before. We can't just-"

"I said they'd have each other" John snapped, looking over the actors "Can you do it?"

Jensen nodded for them both, "Yes sir."

Dean and John shared subtle nods, going back to their vehicles. But John stopped at the door of his truck, fingers lingering on the handle.

Dean paused as well, "Dad?"

John took in a shaky breath, turning to them, "It's Jim. You know, I can't --"

Jensen could practically taste the grief rolling off the man, "John?"

"This ends now" the Winchester's features hardened, jaw locking "I don't care what it takes."

The Winchester boys exchanged a morbid look across the Impala, then got in.

"At what cost?" Jared hissed in his best friend's ear "Our lives?"

"This thing killed their mother, Jay" Jensen crowded in close, making sure the other two couldn't hear them "It killed John's wife, it killed Sam's fiancée. It's hard to hear, but it's true. They want revenge for something that happened way before we came along…it's our duty to help."

"It's our duty to Balance" Jared pointed out "To keep them from going over the edge. Did you see John's eyes? Did you see Sam's? Maybe we shouldn't let them do this…maybe if we just delay them a bit…"

"I just lost my guardian, Jay, I'm not losing John too" the older man narrowed his eyes, anger flaring up in his chest "And I'm not losing Dean. Not for you, not for Heaven, Azazel, not for anyone."

Jared couldn't keep it in any longer, "Don't you think this is all so stupid? Getting revenge on something that could've been an everyday demon, an everyday occurrence? Sure we have the Colt, but what if it goes wrong? Wouldn't it just be better to hunt down other things? More harmful things than a demon that kills once every ten years or something? Doesn't it strike you as the _stupidest_ thing ever to throw away your life for something you're not even sure you're gonna find?"

Jensen was ready to punch him. He pushed the taller man away, giving him a filthy look.

"_Christ_, Jared" Jensen opened the back door, almost growling "Did you lose your fuckin' compassion when you lost your wings?"

Jared watched the door slam between him, leaving him on the road alone.

He couldn't even think until Dean honked the horn at him.

()

Not even two hours later, Jared doubled over on himself outside Eastern Salvation Health Care Center. Jensen dropped to his knees and put an arm over his best friend, letting him muffle his screamed into his shoulder. Thankfully not many were around, and he managed to hide Jared just around the corner in a half-ally. It took him some time, but he managed to calm down enough to speak.

"Sam's found them" Jared rasped.

"Who?"

"The family…the family Azazel is trying to destroy."

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (all about us)**_


	50. Chapter 50

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {50-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Salvation"

**(AN:** I twisted around Meg's story here. They met her, but remember when she fell out the window? Yeah, she didn't exactly die when she fell out the window…but her vessel did, get it? That's very important. I actually liked her brother more, he was kind of cute. It's not that I hate Meg or anything, it's just that I didn't want her or Ruby in my story. Why? Cause they fuck with my plotline.**)**

* * *

They were all bunkered in a cheap motel on the outskirts of town, planning. Dean was sitting on the bed nearest the door, his father seated on the other one with his face in his hands. Sam was in one of the chairs by the small kitchen space, Jared behind him. The half-angel massaged his lover's temples, his own head pounding from the repercussions of his visions.

Sam moaned, rolling his head back as those expert fingers worked the tension out of the corded muscles down the line of his neck as well.

"A vision?" John inquired, disbelieving.

Sam sighed, "Yes. I saw the demon…burning a woman on the ceiling."

"Okay" John was struggling to keep up "And you think it's going to happen to this woman you met because…?"

"Because these things happen exactly the way I see them" Sam replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

John put his mouth to his inter-laced fingers, trying to comprehend what this meant.

"Yeah, they started out as nightmares…" Dean began, standing up and taking his empty coffee cup over to the sink "And then he started having them while he was awake."

"Yeah" Sam rolled back into his lover's touch, tension leaking out of his muscles "It's like -- I don't know. It's like the closer I get to anything involving the demon, the stronger the visions get."

//Let's not forget the fact that you use Jared to power boost// Jensen's inner tone was sour, he himself was leaning against the door and trying to stay out of he way in the small room //But John doesn't know how strong you are, does he Sam? Nope.//

"Alright, when were you going to tell me about this?" John sat up straighter, looking at his oldest son. Dean turned and gave his father a look, as did Sam and Jared.

"We didn't know what it meant" Dean lied off handedly "Sam's…pretty strong now. We thought it was just like his other stuff."

"Alright, when something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and call me" John snapped at his oldest.

Jensen shut his eyes tightly, knowing what was about to come.

"Call you?" Dean turned completely, making his way around Sam and Jared to get closer to his father "Are you kidding me? Dad…I called you from Lawrence. All right? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean…before three months ago, Dad, I had a better chance of winning the lottery than getting you on the phone. The reason I didn't call is the same reason we didn't call when I got ghost sickness, or Sam lost his memory, or when we met Jared and Jensen, when Sam started developing these fucked up demon powers, or any of the shit that happened. We figured you were too busy for us, so we just stopped trying Dad."

Jared's hands dropped to Sam's shoulders, offering silent support.

Sam dropped his gaze from his dad's, unable to meet those dark eyes.

"Dean…" Jensen began to protest.

"No, Hollywood, he's right" John's lips quirked up at his oldest "Although I'm not real crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right Dean. I'm sorry I haven't been more available."

Dean was satisfied with this, but he needed more coffee if he was going to hold his tongue.

"Look guys, visions or no visions…the fact is, we know this demon's coming tonight" Sam sat forward, thankful that his migraine had died down to a mild ache "And this family's going to go through the same hell we did."

"No they're not" John stated with conviction "No one is, ever again."

Sam's phone rang shrilly, startling Jensen so bad he jolted the door. Dean grinned at his lover from behind the rim of his refilled coffee mug, getting a half-hearted glare in return. Jared reached into their duffle and pulled out the phone, handing it to his lover.

"Thanks" Sam brushed a kiss along the back of the actor's hand, taking the phone and putting it to his ear "Hello?"

"_Sam_?"

Sam's brow furrowed at the masculine voice, "Who is this?"

"_Think real hard, it might come to you_" the man sounded as if he were scowling "_You killed my sister…you knew her as Meg._"

"Meg?" the name sparked hatred and curiosity from his father and brother "Meg was…your sister?"

"_I'm Tom, her big brother_" the man chuckled bitterly "_You broke her body up pretty good…and I bet you thought it was over, didn't you?_"

"It was a seven-story drop" Sam scoffed "Forgive me if I thought it would be that easy."

"_Let me speak to your dad._"

"My dad?" Sam feigned innocence "I don't know where my dad is."

"_Listen here, Sammy-boy_" Tom's voice grew sharp-edged "_I know what you've been up to. I know about Ryanimay. I know about Jared's wings, and I know that you've had his blood on your tongue. Just because you're juiced doesn't mean you're invincible._"

Sam's eyes flickered, "But I'm pretty damn close."

"_You'll never reach full potential as long as Azazel lives, no matter how much of your lover you suck down_" Tom sighed in a whiny manner "_It's time for the grown-ups to talk, Sam. Let me speak to him now._"

Sam and John shared a look, his son gave over the phone reluctantly. He glanced between both his boys, then turned and put the phone to his ear.

"This is John."

" '_Sup John? I'm Tom. Your boys took out my sister, and I'm a little pissed about it. Get on your knees and thank whatever God you pray to that I haven't killed them or their whores. Coincidentally, I'm also the one who watched Jim Murphy choke to death on his own blood._"

Dark eyes went wide.

"_Still there, Johnny?_"

John's features hardened, "I'm still here."

"_Well that was yesterday. Today I'm in Lincoln…visiting another old friend of yours. Oh, look…he wants to say hi._"

There was a gasp over the line, followed by, "_John, whatever they do, don't give-!_"

The voice cut off, but it was enough.

"Caleb?" John barked "Caleb. You listen to me. He's got nothing to do with anything, you let him go."

"_We know you have the Colt, John_" Tom stated lowly "_We know because you're a fool and you gave it to your boys to take care of. And, well…that haven't been subtle with it. Just four or so months ago they shot a little old witch with it. I say you made some mistakes in it's keeping, huh?_"

John turned and gave his boys a hard look, then turned back towards the window, "I…don't have a clue what you're talking about."

"_Oh! You wanna play it like that? Okay…listen to this._"

There was a choke over the line, then some wet gurgling. John winced and gagged a little, knowing exactly what he was hearing. He happened to glance over enough to see Jensen, the boy was giving him such a sympathetic look…it made his heart hurt.

"_You hear that?_" Tom's voice broke him away from those thoughts, eyes going back to the rain spattered window "_That's the sound of Caleb dieing…a lot like Jim did, actually. Wanna try that again?_"

John didn't say a word.

"_By taking the Colt with intentions to kill Azazel, you've just declared war. Sides are picked, casualty quotas must be made. Weapons cleaned and passed around, spoils are consumed_" there was a wet sound, then a satisfied moan "_And this is what war looks like._"

John grit his teeth, "I'm gonna kill you. You know that, dontcha?"

"_Oh John_" Tom sighed "_Mind your blood pressure, huh?_"

John ran a hand over his face, heart beating a thunderous rhythm in his chest.

"_I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. And you're friends…anyone who's ever helped you, fed you, given you shelter…anyone you've ever loved will die. Unless, of course, you hand over the gun._"

John heaved a sigh, four pairs of eager eyes locked on him as he paced past the beds again.

"_I'm waiting, Mr. Winchester. I could start humming the Jeopardy song, if that'll help you think faster. Really, it's no trouble._"

"Okay" John's voice was a rough admittance.

"_What was that? I can't quite hear you past the roar of your heartbeat._"

"I said ok" John spoke up, ready to start gnashing his teeth "I'll bring you the Colt."

"_There's a warehouse in Lincoln…on the corner of Wabash and Lake. You're gonna meet me there._"

John shook his head, "It's gonna take me about a day's drive to get there."

Tom tisked, "_Meet me there at midnight…tonight. Don't bother bringing flowers, I'm a cheap date._"

"Funny" the Winchester scowled "That's impossible, I can't get there in time. And I can't just carry a gun on a plane."

"_Oh, so sorry_" Tom was filled with faux-remorse "_For your friends, that is. 'Cause every one of them I can reach before you get here, I will kill. Maybe I can even reach Ellen and Jo…wanna find out?_"

"I'll get there" John rushed out, heart stopping for a moment at Ellen's name (cause who really gives a fuck about Jo? I mean, honestly.)

"_Good_" Tom made a sound as if he'd almost forgot something "_Oh! And John? If you do decide to come, bring Jensen. Don't pull that bullshit and say you don't have him. Leave your oldest, the demon, and the half-angel bitch behind._"

This threw John off completely, he turned on his heels to stare at the Texan (the one leaning so innocently against the door and cocking his head to the side at his wild look), "Why Jensen?"

Dean nearly cracked the thick ceramic of his coffee cup at his lover's name.

"_Because he's easy to talk to and has a pretty mouth_" Tom replied sarcastically "_Because I said so, John._"

"No, that's a deal breaker" John stated firmly "I'm-"

"_You come alone and I'm going after Bobby Singer whether you're on your knees offering me the Colt or not! Don't push me, John Winchester, I am not a patient man!_"

The demon dry himself back in with a sigh, humor dancing in his voice, "_…of course, I'm not really a man at all, am I?_"

John bit his tongue and brought down his voice, "Fine. I'll bring him."

"_Such a good boy_" Tom purred "_If I smell even a hint of the others, you're all dead._"

The line went dead right there.

()

"So you encountered this Meg before?" John asked his boys.

"Well, yeah, she was the one who tried to set a trap for you last time" Sam explained "About two years ago, remember? With the Devea?"

"Oh, yeah, the blonde bitch" John grunted "Sounds like she's still alive somewhere."

"Great" Dean scowled.

"Do you think he's a demon too?" Sam asked.

"Either that, or he's like Meg and is possessed by one" John stated "It doesn't really matter."

"What do we do?" Jared asked, knowing it needed to be said.

"I'm going to Lincoln" John glanced back at Jensen, who stepped away from the door and closer to the group "And Jensen's going with me."

"What?" Dean snapped, pushing past Sam to look his father in the eye "You're not going anywhere, and you're sure as Hell not takin' him with you."

"Doesn't seem like I have much of a choice, Dean" John explained carefully "If I don't go, a lot of people are going to die. And if I don't take Jensen…he's going straight for Bobby, then Ellen, then Jo…then everyone else we've ever known. And when he's done, _then_ he'll take the Colt from us."

"Dad, the demon is coming for Monica and her family _tonight_" Sam emphasized "The gun is all we got. You can't just hand it over."

"Who said anything about handing it over?" John scoffed "Besides us and a couple of vampires, no one's really seen the gun. No one really knows what it looks like."

"So, what?" Dean tisked, voice edgy "You just gonna pick up a ringer at a pawn shop?"

"Antique store, actually" John corrected.

Dean was getting more pissed by the second, "You're gonna hand Meg's psycho just-as-evil brother a fake gun and hope he doesn't notice?"

"Look, as long as it's close…he's not gonna be able to tell the difference."

"Yeah, but for how long?" Dean snapped "What happens when he figures it out? How the hell are you gonna protect Jensen?"

"I can handle myself" Jensen stepped up to John's side, nudging his shoulder lightly with his own "I'll go with ya, John…no fight."

"Thanks, Hollywood" John nudged him back lightly, then looked back at his son "Someone's got the right attitude. I just need to buy a few hours, that's all."

Something clicked in Sam's head, "For Dean and I."

Dean looked between his brother and his dad, "No."

"You want us to stay here…and kill this demon by ourselves?"

"No!" Dean protested more vehemently.

"No Sam" John looked his youngest boys right in the eyes, sounding rueful "I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school. I want all your souls free from Hell. I want Jared to have his wings back. I want Jensen back on the big screen like he was born to be. I want…I want Dean to have a home!"

Jared positively seethed, //I still have my wings, Goddamnit.//

John turned away towards the window, fighting back tears that were usually so easy to push down.

"I want Mary alive" John fuckin' _sniffled_, turning back to his boys with red-tinged eyes "I just -- I just want this to be over. And Dean…you're just gonna have 'ta trust me and Jensen with this. 'Cause if we don't show up alone, we're both dead right there."

Dean walked past his dad, taking his lover by the arm and closer to the door. He peered down into Jensen's sweet face, seeing the determination in every pore of him.

"You don't have to go, honey" Dean stated lowly, not even sparing his father a glance as he cupped his lover's jaw "We can say 'fuck it all' and leave right now. I'm not gonna make you go to some spa-dunk town and put yourself in danger while I have to stay here and fight this demon."

Jensen rubbed into the touch, meeting the Winchester's eyes, "I want to do this."

"My Jen" Dean bussed a sweet kiss on his forehead, then his lips "Ok, whatever you want."

Jensen pulled away from Dean reluctantly, raising his chin a bit when he turned to John, "Let's get a copy of this gun and head out as fast as possible."

A sad smile curled John's lips, "That's my boy."

()()()

Jensen strapped his knife into his boot and hid his ebony-handled .45 in the back of his pants (safety on of course.) Sam and John were loading up as well, flanking him on either side of the truck's trunk. Jared was leaning against the right side of the rear, thumbs hooked in the front pockets of his jeans. Jensen glanced up at his best friend, then passed Sam to get to him.

"Jay?"

"Why can't I go?" Jared whined "I'm just as useful as you! I could help!"

"He knows what'll happen if you come" John pointed out "If the stories are true about half-angel's, one touch and he's dust."

Jensen turned from his best friend, understanding his nerves. If Jared was going to go alone, he would be pissed and antsy about it too. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, cursing the light drizzle that kept his skin damp and itchy.

"You guys will show him" Sam gave his dad a half-hearted smile "Two hunters are formidable, whether they're human or not."

John pat him on the shoulder, agreement in his expression.

The Impala pulled around the bend, coming further up the dirt road to park in front of them. Sam watched the car, apprehension twisting knots in his gut. Dean killed the engine, then got out and came over. John locked up the trunk, then turned to his oldest.

"Did you get it?"

Dean pulled a paper bag out from inside his coat, looking down at it briefly before putting it in his father's hand. John sighed in satisfaction, pulling the gun out from the worn brown folds. It looked completely identical to the actual Colt, same exact style and coloring.

"You know this is a trap, don't you?" Dean stated, giving his dad a '_I can't believe you're doing this_' look "For you and for Jen. That's why Tom is so pissed. He should be asking for Sam and I, but he's not. He can't just want revenge…he's got something planned."

"I can handle him" John stated "I got a whole arsenal. Right Hollywood?"

"Holy water, cunning, Mandaic amulets, charm, devilishly good looks on my part" Jensen shrugged "We'll be fine."

John scoffed at him, shaking his head.

"Dad…" Dean gave his lover a look, sobering him.

"What?" the oldest Winchester inquired.

"Promise me something" Dean half pleaded "This thing goes south…just get the hell out. No heroic death, no self-sacrifice, just get out. For both your sakes, ok? It's not just you out there, it's Jensen. Don't get yourself killed, all right? You're no good to us dead."

"Same goes for you" John replied, getting a nod in return "Ok, listen to me on this."

John pulled out the real Colt, showing it off, "There's only one bullet left in this thing. Without it, this gun is useless. One shot…make it count."

Sam eyed the gun hungrily, knowing it could do the one thing he couldn't yet, "Yes sir."

"I've been waiting a long time for this fight" John tore his gaze from the gun, looking between his sons "Now it's here, and I'm not gonna be in it. It's up to you boys. It's your fight. You finish this. You finish what I started. You understand?"

Sam nodded when he caught his dad's gaze, but his brow creased when the gun was handed to Dean instead. He forced himself to calm down when he realized his dad didn't know about his power, and he got the urge to tell him. Jared made a move out of John's range of vision, giving the youngest Winchester a stern look. Sam sighed, he knew he couldn't say a word.

Their dad didn't need that on his shoulders.

"We'll see you soon, Dad" Sam smiled a bit.

"Yeah, see you later" John clapped a hand on his youngest son's shoulder, lips quirking. He exchanged a nod with his oldest, then walked around his truck to his driver's side door. Jared stepped away from the truck, making his way to the Impala.

Jensen was about to make his way to the passenger side, but was stopped by his lover's voice.

"Honey, come 'ere."

Jensen walked over, flushing when he realized John was watching them through the rear-view mirror.

"Jen" Dean hooked an arm hooked an arm around the dip of his lower back, pulling him close to briefly brush their cheeks "Take care of yourself, ok? Do what my dad says, he'll get you out alive."

"Ok, Dee" Jensen flushed even darker when Dean took his mouth fiercely, his calloused palm cupping the base of his skull and pulling him harder into the kiss. He was claimed, a hot tongue sweeping through his mouth and tasting him so completely. Dean ripped himself away reluctantly, breaking all contact before he couldn't do it.

"Go" Dean gestured with his chin " 'Cause I am five seconds away from taking you out of here."

Jensen nodded, backing up slowly before turning around and slipping inside the truck.

John revved the engine, and the truck pulled away just like that.

Sam, Jared, and Dean watched the dark truck go down the mud road…soon disappearing around the bend.

"We'll see them later" Jared stated, confident.

Dean nodded, "Later."

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (all about us)**_


	51. Chapter 51

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {51-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Salvation"

**(AN:** Why are the scenes fucked up and choppy? Because that's how the episode went, bi-zatch, and for the first time I am honoring Kripke's vision. Mini-cliffies for all!**)**

* * *

John pulled up to the abandoned warehouse, Jensen started taking in the surroundings with his pure Winchester instincts. They got out in unison though, the boy reminding him so much of Dean in the way he set his features in determination and put himself at his side.

John stuffed the fake Colt into his jacket, then pulled out a flask of holy water.

"Rosary" the Winchester held out his hand, the boy immediately pulling a plain red strand out and putting it into his palm "Ready?"

"Let's do this" Jensen grinned, half-cocked.

John nodded, and they both headed for the inside of the warehouse. They were almost in the door when a shot of steam scared Jensen so badly he jumped, but didn't fall. He flushed when John cocked an eyebrow at him, embarrassed. Jensen looked around for the source of the noise, spotting a water storage container.

"Hey" Jensen nudged John, gesturing to the structure. They both noted it, just in case. They made their way inside, going through doors and halls. The floor was always covered in a thin layer of water, and pipes were crawling over every bit of space on the walls. Jensen paused at one point, putting his hand on what looked like the blunt end at the start of a water pipe.

"Five bucks says this thing goes all the way up to that container" Jensen grinned cockily.

John looked around briefly, grinning suddenly, "I'll raise you ten bucks and say that ladder goes all the way up to same water tower."

"You're on."

()

Meanwhile…Dean, Sam, and Jared were sitting in the Impala outside Monica's house.

"We could tell 'em there's a gas leak" Sam offered "Might get them out of the house for a few hours."

Jared leaned into the back of his lover's seat, folding his hands on the back rest and resting his chin on them, "And how many times has that actually worked for you guys?"

Dean sighed, "Yeah, that one sucks."

Sam pulled a face shrug, "Could always tell 'em the truth?"

There was a dramatic pause, looks were exchanged.

"No way."

"Nah."

"I know, I know" Sam sighed "It's just with what's coming for these people…"

"Sam, we only got one move and you know it, all right?" Dean stated "We gotta wait for that demon to show itself and then…we get it before it gets them."

All eyes went back to the house, silent for a full minute."I wonder how Dad is doin' " Sam mused aloud.

"Yeah" Dean crinkled his nose "I'd feel a lot better if were there backin' him up instead of my Jenny."

Sam scoffed, "I'd feel a lot better if they were here backin' us up."

()

The ladder did lead up to the water tower, straight up. John examined the metal bars, looking for rust or severe wear but finding none. He was about to climb up when Jensen fisted a hand in his jacket, pulling him around behind the structure. A man in a dark coat passed by on the ground, pausing briefly out in the open before ducking into the warehouse.

John clapped a hand on the slighter man's shoulder, "Thanks, Hollywood."

"Yeah, well, I need you" Jensen thumbed at the container "I have no idea how to bless water."

**(AN:** I don't know about you guys, but the scene where John blesses the water may be one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever seen on a TV show. The way the rosary floats down, gorgeous. And…Jeffrey Dean Morgan isn't too bad looking either *grin***)**

()

Jared, Sam, and Dean observed as the house got ready for bed. The husband closed the curtains of the living room, and Monica slid the curtains to the nursery shut.

"This is weird" Sam stated.

Dean turned his head toward his brother, "What?"

"After all these years, we're finally here" Sam sighed "Doesn't seem real."

Dean conceded to this point, "We just gotta keep our heads and do our jobs, like always."

Jared scoffed, "This isn't exactly like always."

Dean gave him a light tap to the forehead, making the younger man scrunch up his face.

"True" Sam chewed his lower lip, taking in a breath "Dean, uh…I wanna thank ya."

Dean mock looked around, as if a point would show itself, "For what?"

"For everything" Sam admitted, Jared scoffed at them and got out of the car to let the brothers have their moment "You've always had my back, ya know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone, I could always count on you. Before Jared, before Jensen…it was just us."

Sam reached out, cupping his brother's shoulder. Dean shuddered when he saw his brother's eyes flicker to black, hidden meaning behind his words.

"Sammy?"

"You've been loyal these past years, and even before" Sam's voice lowered "I won't forget it easily. Hell tried to break you and failed to take your strength…that says something. I know you'll always be beside me, be my second."

Sam's hand dropped, the spell broke.

"I just…" his little brother's eyes went back to normal, lips turning in a smile "I wanted you to know. Just in case, man."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Dean pulled a face "Are you kiddin' me?"

"What?"

"Don't say: '_Just in case something happens to you_' " Dean scoffed "I don't wanna hear that frickin' speech, man. Nobody's dyin' tonight. Not me, not you, that family, not dad, or Jen or Jared…especially not me. Just that demon. That evil son-of-a-bitch isn't getting any older than tonight. You understand me?"

Sam nodded, knocking on the glass.

Jared slid back inside the car, "Anything good?"

"Samantha's being pessimistic" Dean stated off-handedly.

Jared sighed and leaned back into the seat, "God, I'm bored…I bet Jen's having a blast with your dad."

()

They entered one of the rooms, finding Tom standing there in the middle. He turned toward them, head cocked to the side. He had on worn jeans, tan shirt, black leather coat…he looked normal. Nice jaw, bit of stubble, dark brunette hair, dark eyes.

"John" his voice was rough, lips turning in a grin "You made it. Too bad, though…you're friends were so easy to kill. Fun, too…you know, for hunters."

"Sorry to disappoint" John drawled.

"I can see where your boys got their good looks" Tom cocked his hips, hands deep in the pockets of his jacket "Though considering what they say about you, we expected you to be…taller."

John took in their surroundings, keeping an eye out for Meg (just in case.)

Tom raked his eyes over Jensen, the actor tensing.

"And this must be Jenny live-in-color-in-the flesh…so much prettier than Dean. But…" Tom hissed out a breath, nose scrunched "You just can't pull off that bad boy vibe, you know? I mean, you have something working for you, but-"

John shifted subtly in front of the actor, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, aren't you the chatty one?" Tom tisked "Fine. Why don't you hand over the gun?"

"If I give you the gun, how do we get out of here?" John asked.

"Inquiring minds wish to know" Jensen let his hand rest at his side, a solid twitch away from curling around his gun handle.

"If you're as good as they say you are, you'll figure something out" the demon stated, eyes glancing at the actor again "And everyone knows Jensen Ackles can wriggle his way out of anything. Including Hell."

John scowled, "Maybe I'll just shoot you."

"You wanna shoot me, baby?" Tom extended his arms, widening the width of his jacket "Go ahead. It won't end anything. There are so many more where I came from."

When John didn't immediately shoot back a reply, Tom dropped his arms.

"Give me the gun" Tom took one hand out of his coat, holding it out "_Now_."

John took "the Colt" from his jacket, holding it by the barrel. He went to step forward, but Tom suddenly smirked and held up the same palm in a stopping motion.

"Wait…" Tom stepped back, drawing in his hand "Jensen. You bring it."

"Hell no" John stated firmly "I brought him here per your request, but you're not getting an inch closer to him than you already are."

Jensen saw the demon's eyes flicker, and he knew this was no time to mess around.

"Give me the gun" Jensen demanded, stepping close to John and putting his hand over the barrel. The Winchester narrowed his eyes, but he was a determined man. "John…give me the gun."

Reluctantly, it was handed over. Jensen hooked a finger in the trigger guard, holding it carefully as he walked over to the demon. Tom's grin didn't phase him, he kept his chin held high and his eyes hard. He extended his hand, dangling it right before the demon.

"Take it" Jensen hissed.

Tom's hand shot out, seizing the handle of the gun, "I just might."

Jensen didn't take two steps backward before the demon hissed, eyes going pure black.

"What the hell is this?" Tom spat, breaking the gun into parts with a flex of his fingers. The individual parts fell to the floor, charred around the edges.

John tried to fake it, "Is that why you wanted it! To destroy it?"

"That wasn't the Colt" the demon spat "I saw it when it was a but a youngling, that was nothing! It was a fake! You though I wouldn't see it? Wouldn't feel it? Do you take me for a common half-breed like your filthy son?"Tom lunged, stopping an inch from Jensen and baring his teeth, "You're dead. The Winchesters are dead, Jared, all the pathetic things you love."

"We've never used the gun, how could we have known it was a fake?" John protested, reaching out for Jensen but getting a fierce glare from the demon.

"Your boys are dead, John. I am not in the mood for this!"

"We're just as duped as you, we've all been had" John was grasping now "Elkins fooled us all!"

"That's funny, John" Tom walked around Jensen, keeping an eye on them both "We're gonna strip the skin from your bones…but that was funny."

"Who's this 'we' you keep talking about?" Jensen tried to back up, but Tom was turned to him in an instant.

"You and me, baby" Tom grinned, pulling something out from his coat. A dust-like substance was blown from the demon's palm, scattering itself over Jensen's head and into his mouth. The actor didn't mean to inhale, and as soon as he did he knew he was fucked.

"John, get out of here" Jensen choked, staggering backwards and trying to dislodge the substance.

"Jensen-"

"Run" Jensen wheezed, dropping to the ground "The boys…need you…"

"Run John" Tom hissed, advancing on the Winchester "You won't get far."

Jensen growled, latching out and seizing the demon's leg. It gave John the opening he needed, darting out of the room and locking a door behind him.

Tom knelt down next to Jensen, putting his palm on the boy's forehead. He tensed and went limp on the floor, leaf green eyes wide and unseeing at the ceiling.

"Oh yes" Tom grinned "We will make a use of you yet, Jensen Ross."

()

"Dad's not answering" Dean shut his phone, frustrated.

"Maybe Tom was late" Sam offered "Maybe the reception there is shot."

"Yeah, well…" Dean huffed and looked out the window, every instinct screaming at him to turn on the car and get to his lover "I don't like not being there with my boy. What if…I trust Dad to take care of himself, but what if…"

"_What if's_ are gonna drive you up the wall, Dean" Jared pointed out, lounging in the backseat and appearing calm even as the skin between his shoulder blades itched "Focus."

Suddenly, the radio started fucking up.

"Dean, wait" Sam reached out, fiddling with the dial "Listen."

There was a garbled voice mixing with the static, inaudible. The wind picked up, and they observed as the lights of the house started flickering and fucking up.

Jared whimpered, his back on fire, "Shit, you guys…"

"What?" Sam turned in his seat, heart clenching in his chest as his lover's eyes lit up.

"It's coming."

They all got out of the car.

()

John had struck the water pipe on his way out of the building, setting the hallway behind him awash with holy water. He had heard Tom hissing, and that was enough to spur him out of there. When he caught a lungful of night air, he was immediately flooded with guilt.

"I'll get you out of there, Hollywood" John murmured, stepping up to his truck "Don't you worry."

Then he saw his slashed tires…

He huffed, "Damn it!"

John took off in the other direction, trying to put as much distance between himself and the warehouse as possible. He went for a back ally, in a half-run as he contemplated where to run to.

He had to get out of there, he had to call his boys, he had to save Jensen.

Hopefully not in that order.

()

Dean managed to pick the lock to the door, the lights of the house shot. All three crept in, shutting the door behind them. Hell, they hadn't even gotten ten steps inside when the husband came at them with a ball bat.

"Get out of my house!" he hollered, taking a swing at Dean and breaking a lamp.

Jared's instincts kicked in first. With a solid movement of his forearm and leg, he had the bat on the floor and the man off balance. He pinned him to the wall, his glowing eyes capturing the man's attention completely. He went limp in the actor's grip, dark eyes wide.

"Be quiet and listen to me Charlie" Jared stated calmly, unsure how he knew the man's name (he couldn't remember Sam mentioning it) "Be quiet and listen to me. We are trying to help you. Ok?"

"Charlie?" Monica yelled from upstairs "Is everything ok down there?"

"Monica! Get the baby!" Charlie yelled, breaking out from under Jared's spell.

"Don't go in the nursery!" Sam yelled, taking a second too long to get to the stairs.

"You stay away from her!" Charlie threw Jared off him and onto his back with ease, but Dean took over and kept the man from hurting anyone with a solid hit to the head.

"Get him out of here" Dean commanded, Jared stood and accepted the man in a fireman hold "I'll get the kid, you keep him calm and out of the house."

Sam got there too late, Monica already on the ceiling. Azazel was in pure shadow, his form only visible against the curtains. Sam whipped out the Colt, but hesitated too long. A streak of light caught his horrid yellow eyes, but not much else.

"No" Sam stated, taking his finger off the trigger "You don't get to die just yet, you son-of-a-bitch. You've still got some answers I want. Starting with -- _Fuck_!"

Azazel looked frightened…right before he dissipated in shadow.

//Bastard wasn't even in solid form// Sam scowled, Monica's body dropping to the floor.

Sam helped her to her feet as she kept screaming for her kid, she was actually kind of annoying. But they had to get the hell out of here now, before everything went up in smoke.

"Get her out of here" Dean barked, pushing past Sam and to the crib "I got it. Take her and go."

"Rosie!" Monica screamed bloody murder.

"Dean! Come on!"

No sooner did Dean pick up the baby did the crib set alight with flames.

"My baby!"

"Dean's got her!"

()

John really didn't know how far he'd run, and he didn't really care. He found himself in some wide, shady area…but far away enough from the warehouse to feel safe. He stopped right in the middle, huffing and puffing a bit from the run. He was getting too old for this shit. He looked around, taking in what was around him, but he had no clue where he would be at in Lincoln.

Somewhere between buildings…safe enough.

John took out his phone, dialing the first digits of Dean's number.

What felt like pure steel pushed and picked him right up off his feet, slamming him into the cement wall to his right. He grunted and struggled, but the contact took his breath. He groaned and pressed against the force, but it was too much and held him down easily.

There was an opening on the opposite wall, red from a nearby sign bathing the area. A figure stepped out of it, then one right behind him. With a look from familiar emerald eyes, he was pressed higher up the wall until he was off his feet. The pure brunt of it nearly crushed his chest, groaning as he struggled to breath.

The front man approached, light slashing across his face to reveal freckled skin and a sweet smile.

"What the hell, Jensen?!"

"_Sh-sh, John boy_" Jensen crooned, reaching out and running his knuckles up and down the solid muscle of the Winchester's thigh "_We've never met before, but I can tell we'll be fast friends. I'm going to take such good care of you until Father has a chance to deal with you._"

John gazed at his son's soulmate in horror, knowing he had failed him.

"I'm sorry, Jensen."

Tom approached, standing closely behind Jensen and running a hand up the boy's side, "Are you sure this is the body you wanted? Father said we needed to have this one, but it seems weak."

"_It's prettier than some human women I've seen_" the demon sighed theatrically, knuckles brushing a bit higher up John's inner thigh "_Can I play with him? Just a bit?_"

"No, Sister…we have plans for him."

"_Damn…I never get to have any fun._"

"Didn't you feel up Samuel a bit?"

"_Oh yeah_" a smirk twisted bee-stung lips, eyes flickering darkly "_That was fun._"

()

**(AN:** I'm very sorry that I butchered this scene, it was a good scene. But, uh, that's what you get with rewrites while I'm trying to force my own plotline into it.**) **

Dean paced back and forth in front of Sam, his phone to his ear.

"Come on, Dad. Answer your phone, damn it."

Dean resisted the urge to crush his phone, instead he hung up and stared at it.

"Something's wrong."

Sam just stared at the floor, seated on the bed.

Jared watched him out of the corner of his eye, he himself was rubbing faintly at the new bruise on his upper arm.

"Did you hear me?" Dean spoke up "I said something's happened."

"Something went wrong in that house" Sam scowled at the floor "All the signs were there, Dad wasn't wrong. But Azazel…he wasn't in solid form. At least, he wasn't when I got in there. Why would he go through all this trouble…?"

Sam scrubbed a hand over his face, "He's not invincible, he has to solidify sometime. Maybe I should have taken the shot."

"Who cares now?" Dean spat "Dad and Jensen are officially missing."

"Dad wanted us to take care of this demon" Sam looked over at his brother "I failed him! I should have used my power or-"

"Oh no" Dean shook his head "Don't even start on that. Using power Azazel gave you on said demon? Wouldn't that be like using Fira on a Fire Elemental?"

For some reason, Sam actually got the reference and the meaning.

Jared scoffed bitterly, "Well, if we're going to start talking about demon's in HP, I'm against having my own bar visible to just anyone."

Dean gave him a look, shutting him up effectively.

A thought struck the oldest Winchester, "So you didn't even take a shot?"

Sam shook his head, shrugging, "No point."

"You didn't even try" Dean gave a snort "What's wrong? Afraid if you off the demon you gave the power to, it'll disappear?"

"Don't be a prick, Dean" Sam stood up, he was in no mood for this.

"You and Dad were all ready to throw yourself on your own swords earlier, what's changed?" Dean barked, pissed and frustrated at not knowing where Jensen was or what his status was "Things a little more difficult? Not so black and white anymore?! Or didn't you have the balls to squeeze the trigger?"

"Shut up!" Sam grabbed fistfuls of his brother's lapel, easily lifting him off his feet and slamming him into the wall (his eyes were pitch as he stared into wide jade orbs) "I don't have the patience for this. Azazel is dying very -_very_- soon, I promise you. This is no time to be picking fights. That thing killed Jess…and that thing killed Mom. So don't…don't say shit like that, Dean, not you."

"Sam, look…" Dean started, a little hesitant "The five of us…it's all I have, man. You and Dad…Jared and Jen…you've had friends, you've loved other people. Me, man? It was only ever you and Dad…then it was those two brats…but they're our brats, you know? I didn't mean it like that, I'm just…"

"Dad" Sam patted his brother once on the chest, then pulled away and brought himself together "He should've called by now. Try him again."

Dean heaved against the wall, breath catching as if to sob. But he managed to hold himself together as well, merely letting out a shaky sigh before flipping open his phone again. He dialed and put it to his ear, praying beyond hope he would get an answer.

The ring paused, a indrawn breath over the line, "_You boys really screwed up this time._"

"Jensen?" relief nearly choked Dean, letting out his bated breath "Jenny, are you ok? Where's Dad?"

"_Actually, I've grown very fond of the name Meg_" the voice was cold, but faintly amused

Dean choked a bit, "Where are they?"

"_You're never gonna see your father again, pretty boy._"

_**TBC**_

_**All about us (all about us)**_


	52. Chapter 52

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {52-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Devil's Trap"

**(AN:** This is kind of awkward to write, but only because Bobby was first introduced in this episode. It's kind of weird going from fourth season back to first season when everyone was just getting to know each other. Ignore the awkwardness, I hate every line of dialogue I had to copy from the episode. I kind of keep forgetting I've given Sam kickass demon powers.**)**

* * *

"_You're never gonna see your father again, pretty boy._"

Dean closed his phone with a snap, pushing away from the wall.

"They've got Dad…they've got Jen" Dean managed, mind racing in a thousand directions at once.

"_They_?" Jared inquired.

"Tom?" Sam offered.

Dean nodded, "And Meg. Bitch is still alive."

Sam nearly bared his teeth at the thought, "What'd she say?"

"I just told you Sammy" Dean tried to keep himself together, scrubbing a hand over his eyes and mouth "Okay…okay…"

Dean went over and took the Colt in his hands, shoving it beneath the waistband of his pants. He began to pack his duffle, going into automated mode.

"What're you doing, Dean?" Sam watched his brother go through the motions, his expression stony.

"We gotta go" the oldest replied.

Jared's brow creased, "Why?"

"Because those demons know we're in Salvation" Dean pulled on his coat "They know we've got the Colt, they've got Dad, they've got _Jensen_, they'll be coming for us next."

"We've got a bullet and me" Sam's eyes flashed "Let them come."

"Listen, tough guy" Dean got right in his brother's face "We're not ready. We don't know how many of them are out there! It could be just this Tom and Meg or it could a dozen. We're no good to anybody dead. We're leaving. _Now_."

They all stayed silent for some time, at least until they were in the Impala and out of town.

Sam kept his eyes on the road, hit jaw set, "We should've stayed, we could have taken them. Hell, _I_ could have taken them."

"What we need is a plan" Dean stated, trying to keep his head on straight as every ounce of him ached for Jensen in his arms "Now they're probably keeping Dad alive, we just have to figure out where. And Jensen…well, he's alive if not conscious. They're going to want to trade Dad for the gun."

Jared cocked his head from the backseat, "What makes you so sure they didn't just off him, Dean?"

The oldest Winchester made a face, but let that comment slide, "That was Jensen's voice…with Meg driving it."

Jared struck himself in forehead, "Oh _shit_."

"Dean" Sam gave his brother a certain look "If that were true, why didn't Meg mention a trade? Dad…Jensen…they might be-"

"_Don't_" Dean snapped.

"Look, I don't wanna believe it anymore than you" Sam tried to get his brother to see sense, the thought that Jensen was lost to them hurt but it could be tolerated "But if they are…if Dad is…all the more reason to finally kill this damn thing. We still have the Colt, we can still finish the job."

"Screw the job, Sam."

"Dean, I'm just trying to do what they would want. They would want us to keep going."

"Don't talking about them like they're already dead!" the oldest yelled, then consciously lowered his voice "Listen to me. Everything stops until we get them back, until I have Jen back in my arms. You hear me? You understand me? _Everything_."

Sam sighed, "Ok…so how do you purpose we find them? I can track demons if I have their fresh energy signature, but Jensen and Dad are another matter. Maybe if it was Jared, or we got there within the hour."

"Maybe we go to Lincoln anyway" Dean offered "Start at the warehouse where they were taken."

"Come on, Dean" Sam rolled his eyes at his brother "You really think these demons are going to leave a trail? Breadcrumbs, maybe? Their energy signals probably long gone."

"You're right" the older set his jaw, at a loss.

Jared spoke up, "Maybe Bobby can help?"

The Winchesters broke into grins.

"To Bobby's, then."

()()()

Bobby greeted them with the usual enthusiasm, a shake of his head and a state of the obvious. Jared immediately set himself in front of the fireplace, trying to warm and dry himself from the constant rain that kept up outside. Sam was at the desk, pouring over the books.

Bobby took two flasks, handing one to Dean, "Here ya go."

"What is this?" Dean examined the round flask "Holy water?"

"That one is. This is whiskey" Bobby took a shot and made a face, then offered it "Here. I'd think you need it right about now."

Dean's lips quirked, and he accepted the flask.

"I wasn't sure we should come" Dean admitted "Thought we had worn out our welcome."

"After twenty years of not seeing ya, these past four years have been pretty good" Bobby clapped a hand on the younger man's shoulder, sympathy hidden in his eyes "It's nonsense. Yer Daddy needs help…and I'd do just about anything for that Jensen of yours. Good kid. Helluva shot."

Dean made a face, "I know the tension between you and my Dad."

"John has that affect on people."

"That he does."

"But none of that matters now" Bobby stated, assuring "All that mattes is gettin' them both back."

"Wow" Sam was particular on one book, memorizing all the symbols (he knew he would need them in the near future) "This book…I want one."

"_Key of Solomon_?" Bobby came over and sat at the edge of the desk, tapping the side of the book "That's the real deal. Most of the symbols I've given ya to keep demons in check? They're from here."

Sam looked over one in particular, "Will it hold?"

"Hell yeah. You get a demon in there, and it's trapped" Bobby assured him "Powerless. And I'll tell you something else too. This is some serious shit you boys stepped in, yer knee deep in it. Sam's powers are one thing, this is…this bad mojo here."

Sam cocked his head, "How's that?"

"Normal year, I hear of _three_…maybe _four_ demonic possessions" Bobby shrugged "This year? Thirty. So far, not even fall yet."

"Yeah?"

"There are more and more demons walking around out there. A lot more."

"Do you know why?" Sam inquired.

"No idea" Bobby shook his head wearily "But it's bad…and it's big. Storm's coming, and it needs a wrangler. And you boys? And yer boys? And yer daddy? Yer smack right in the middle of it."

"Don't think we don't know it" Jared stood, stretching a bit "We're getting bit all the time, nowadays."

The dog outside started going crazy, barking like mad.

"Rumsfeld" Bobby stated, getting up to go over to the window "What is it? Something's wrong."

The Winchesters stood at attention, knowing it was time.

"_Yah!_"

The door splintered and flew open, a figure revealed.

"Jensen?" Jared breathed, disbelieving.

**(AN:** When I say Jensen, I do mean the demon that possessed Meg. So he's possessed, you guys. Sweet Jenny would never do this…at least, I'd like to think not. Usually I save Italics for phone conversations. But in this chapter "_word_" means the demon is talking through Jensen..**)**

Jensen strolled in like it was no big deal, but a scowl on his face. He even looked different, the way he walked and held himself. Dean pulled the flask from his jacket pocket, fingers curling around it tightly.

"_No more crap, ok?_" he cocked his hips, annoyed.

Dean came at his lover's body, unscrewing the flask. Jensen hissed, throwing out his arm. Dean flew like a marionette on strings, crashing into a many stacks of books and collapsing in a heap.

Sam got Bobby and Jared behind him, jaw set.

"_I want the Colt, Sam_" Jensen stated firmly, nose crinkling in disgust "_The real Colt. Right now._"

"We don't have it on us, _Meg_" Sam spat "We buried it."

"_Didn't I just say 'No more crap' _" Jensen advanced as they backed up, predatory "_I swear, after everything I've heard about you Winchesters, I have to say…I'm a little under-whelmed. First John Boy tried to paw off a fake gun, then Jenny tries to intimidate me, and finally…he leaves the real gun with you two chuckleheads. Lackluster, man._"

Jensen cocked his head, eyes flickering, "_I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?_"

"Actually…" the rough, gravel tone made the demon whip around to look at the Winchester in the doorway "We were counting on it."

Dark jade eyes went up to the ceiling, the demon followed his gaze up to the binding circle on the ceiling. Lighter green eyes went wide in horror, it knew how screwed it was.

"Gotcha."

()

It wasn't too hard to pin the demon down and tie it to a chair. With no strength, Jensen's body was the slightest of them all. It seemed pissed about it's decision in vessel, but bound like it was…it really couldn't do much as they looked upon it in contemplation.

"_You know…_" Jensen rolled his head back, testing it's bonds again with a flex of it's wrists "_If you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask. I've never had brothers before, nor an angel. At least…not at the same time, that is._"

Bobby came back in the room, screwing the top back on a canister.

"I salted the doors and windows" he stated "If there are any other demons out there, they aren't getting in."

The brothers nodded, Dean stepped toward the demon.

"Jared" Sam turned to his lover, speaking lowly "Whatever happens, stay by Bobby. If you have to burn Jensen up, do it."

Jared nodded, getting a buss of lips across his cheek.

Dean stood before the demon possessing his soulmate, "Where's our father, Meg?"

"_You didn't ask very nicely_" it pointed out.

Dean didn't even flinch, "Where's our father, Bitch?"

"_Oh_" Jensen's mouth pulled into a pout, bee-stung lips forming into an 'o' of faux-hurt "_You kiss your mother with that mouth? Uh. Oh…I forget, you don't._"

It's giggle was musical in Jensen's voice.

"Hey, you think this is a freakin' game?!" Dean yelled, getting right in close and leaning in on the chair "Where is he? What did you do to him?!"

"_He died screaming_" it said in Jensen's best breathy, seductive tone "_I killed him myself…the last thing he saw was your eyes._"

Dean tried to restrain himself, tried to tell him that his boy was in there, but he couldn't stop himself. He scowled and struck out solidly, catching his fist across his boy's face.

There was a crunch, the slap of flesh on flesh. Jensen gave a pained cry, head whipping sideways with the force. Jared winced at this, Bobby and Sam's eyes going wide. They hadn't thought Dean had it in him.

The demon turned to look at Dean, pleasant surprise on it's face.

"_That's kind of a turn-on…_" it cocked it's head "_You hitting your Jenny._"

"You're not Jensen" Dean scowled "You're not even a person."

"Dean" Bobby stated, leaving the room pointedly. The demon looked up at Dean from beneath gold-spun lashes, chewing it's lower lip enticingly. Dean walked away, his shoulder brushing his brother's as he went.

"You ok?" Sam whispered lowly.

"She's lying. He's not dead" his brother countered.

"Dean, you gotta be careful with _him_" Bobby emphasized "Don't hurt _him_."

Dean couldn't see past the cloud of his rage, "Why? Pain's the only thing that gets to these things."

"Because he's possessed" Bobby felt like literally shaking these igits "That's still Jensen. Alive and aware of every bit of this…every bit 'a pain."

Dean looked back, seeing not the demon but his lover's beautiful eyes filled with such loathing and on _him_.

"He can feel everything?" Jared made a face "I think you broke his neck, Dean."

"You don't know that yer daddy didn't put that boy through the ringer before they got him" the oldest man pointed out "I mean, John wouldn'tve of cared who's face it was wearing. It could have any number of injuries, he could've been shot for all we know."

"Ok, we change tactics" Dean scrubbed a hand over his face "Promises of more pain. This is a good thing."

_**TBC**_

_**We'll run away if we must**_


	53. Chapter 53

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {53-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Devil's Trap", creepy things are said, some implied John/Demon!Jensen (just so you know)

* * *

Sam had his father's journal open in his hands, open to an exorcism that had worked many times.

"I could do this without a spell" Sam spoke low into his brother's ear.

"Your way is too quick" Dean replied "We need to draw this out as long as possible, scare her out of her fuckin' mind. Just do what I say."

"Fine, fine" Sam sighed in exasperation, stepping away to give his brother room to work.

They crowded in on Meg, circling her like birds of prey.

Jensen cocked his head to the side, blinking up at Dean innocently, "_You gonna read me a story, Dee?_"

"Something like that" Dean's smirk was cruel "Hit it, Sam."

Sam began to read out the Latin fluidly, eyes half on the book and half on the demon.

"_Baby, I've seen what your powers can do_" Jensen tilted his head back, smiling at the Winchester "_You really gonna let your bipolar brother reduce you to Latin?_"

But Sam just kept reading.

"_An exorcism? Are you serious?_" the demon turned it's attention back to Dean, nose crinkling "_Sweetlips, I know you can do better than that._"

"Oh, we're going for it baby" Dean taunted "Head spinning, projectile vomiting, the whole nine yards."

Jensen clenched his eyes shut, giving a small moan of pain. The Winchesters exchanged a look, a glimmer of hope and a spark of success dancing between their eyes.

Jensen opened his eyes, pitch black now as he turned to glare at Sam, "_I'm gonna kill you._"

Then to Dean, "_I'm gonna rip the bones from your body._"

"No, you're gonna burn in Hell" Dean hissed through his teeth "Unless you tell us where our dad is."

Jensen kept his glare steady, breathing a bit heavier.

Dean half-smiled, bitter, "Well…at least you'll get a nice tan."

"_I'm surprised you'd let anything mar your whore's skin_" it spat "_Except you, of course._"

Sam got the nod from his brother, he started reading again.

Jensen's eyes fluttered shut, lower lip trembling as his breath sped up. He pulled against his bindings, weak as a kitten beneath the binding circle above him. The demon's eyes flickered, another moan ripped from it's throat almost painfully.

"_Castiel knew! The angel knew what you did to him!_" the demon barked, eyes still clenched shut so it couldn't see how Dean's own eyes went wide "_It knew about the marks you left! The way you made him bleed! You're no better than a demon…marking up what's yours and thoroughly abusing it._"

Sam kept reading, Dean struck it in the face again.

The youngest Winchester only stopped when the panting turned rough, when it threw his head back and groaned through it's teeth.

"_John __**begged**__ for his life with tears in his eyes_" Jensen spat, cracking blood-tinged emerald eyes and locking them with Dean's "_He begged to see his sons one last time. That's when I slit his throat!_"

Jensen took in a shaky breath, rolling his neck to the side and giving the oldest Winchester his best _come hither_ look, "_Of course…not before I had some fun with him. Did you know…you and your father are just about the same size?_"

He bit his lower lip, sweeping his gaze up and down the man as Jared gagged silently in disgust beside Bobby, "_But, uh…he's a bit thicker. More experience, better taste. In the blood and, uh…__**elsewhere**__._"

Sam kept reading, trying to block out the images in his head. Dean was positively seething, ready to burst into flames at any second. The thought wouldn't go away now that it had been planted. Unbidden, images of his Jenny beneath his father came to him. He wanted to punch something, his fists clenched and his jaw ached from the tightly coiled tension of it all.

The demon leaned forward in the chair, a shit-eating grin on it's face as it's eyes went pure black.

"_I did things to him your mommy could never even dream of_" Jensen clicked his tongue, a pretty giggle leaving his lips "_And then I slid the knife into him like butter…but he tasted more like whiskey. How 'bout that, huh?_"

Dean couldn't stop himself, he popped him so hard in the jaw it knocked his head backwards into the chair.

Dazedly, it lifted it's head back up and kept panting as the Latin did it's work.

"For your sake…" Dean scowled deeply, leaning into the chair and getting right in the demon's face "I hope you're lying. 'Cause if it's true, I swear to God I will march right back into Hell myself…and I will slaughter each and every one of you sons of bitches, _so help me God_."

Jensen just stared into the man's feral face, the demon knowing it was true in that moment.

One of the books behind the demon started flipping pages on it's own…it was working.

"Where is he?" Dean circled around the demon, hardening his eyes to the pain on his lover's face "Where's our dad?"

"_Where's Bill?_" the demon teased breathlessly, though it's grin was faltering as the ritual got closer and closer to completion "_You just won't take "dead" for an answer, will ya?_"

"Where is he?!"

"_Dead_!" Jensen barked back.

"No he's not!" Dean protested vehemently, leaning in again (but the demon couldn't meet his eyes) "He is not dead! He can't be!"

Jensen laughed, once musical now cruel as it sing-songed, "_Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead! He's fuckin' dead, you worthless shit!_"

Dean gripped a fistful of light hair, yanking it's head back so he could whisper in it's ear, "Tell me where he is, or we are gonna send you straight back to the pit for all eternity. There's no clawing your way out, not this time. Nothing and no one will save you -- _can_ save you. Hear me, bitch? _Nothing_ and _no one_."

Dean tossed it's head away, rage boiling hot in his belly.

Sam watched his brother in pure delight, a grin twisting his lips. Dean was willing to go far for what he was after, even after all that time in Hell. If he was willing to hurt his most precious Jensen for information, think of what he could to innocents for obedience. He filed this away for later.

"What are you looking at?" Dean looked up when he noted the silence "Keep reading."

Sam picked up again.

Dean looked down at the demon in disgust as it thrashed in the chair, clearly in pain from the sweat beading along it's forehead and neck. It couldn't catch it's breath, and it just kept fighting it's bonds.

Suddenly, the chair lurched forward and the demon screamed.

"_Please! Dee, stop!_" it begged, sounding so much like Jensen it struck a chord in all of them. It managed to lift it's head, emerald eyes teary and whimpering pathetically. It caught Jared's gaze and didn't let go.

"_You're an angel, Jay, don't let them do this_" Jensen begged, trembling under the force of the exorcism "_It's still me, I'm still your best friend. They're killing me, how can you just stand there?!_"

"It's not him, Jared" Bobby put an arm around the half-angel's shoulders, who seemed greatly affected by this "Don't listen. Don't listen to it."

The chair kept jerking, the Winchesters had to step back to avoid being collided with. Jensen was dragged like rag doll, jerked around and screaming as the demon burned.

"_He will be!_"

"Wait!" Dean held up a hand, silencing his brother "What? What was that?"

"_He's not dead_" the demon admitted, trying to catch it's breath as it rolled his head back "_But he will be after what we do to him._"

Sam and Dean exchanged a desperate look, "How do we know you're telling the truth?"

The demon choked on a laugh, "_You don't, Sweetlips._"

Dean growled, "Sam--!"

"_A building! Okay?_" the demon spat, begging now "_A building in Jefferson City._"

"Missouri?" Dean was thrown by this, but was desperate and wasn't going to lose this opportunity "Where? Where? An address."

Jensen shook his head, "_I don't know._"

"And Azazel" Sam hissed "Where is he?"

"_I don't know, I swear_" the demon choked on a sob, burning up from the inside out "_That's everything. That's all I know._"

It was panting pathetically, head dropping. Dean grabbed it's hair again, lifting it until pitch eyes met his own. Pure disgust filled him, even as the face of his lover was filled with pain and pleadingly staring up at him like he was it's salvation and not it's damnation.

"Why did you come back, Meg?" Dean spoke lowly, eyes cold "We thought you were dead. We would have never come looking for you…you were safe, you dumb bitch."

He twisted his hand in his hair, causing it to whimper, "_Wasn't my choice. My job was to take Jensen and feel up John, sorry kid._"

The demon took in a deep breath, "_You broke my body, I had to do something. Jensen was easy and he was yours…better to invoke your ire than Sammy's, right?_"

Dean let it go, glancing up at Sam, "Finish it."

"_What?_" the demon panicked, twisting in the chair "_I told you the truth!_"

Dean circled behind him, "I don't care."

"_You son-of-a-bitch! You promised!_" Jensen screamed, pissed beyond belief.

"I lied!" Dean replied fiercely, leaning over it's shoulder and catching it's eye "Sorry, kid."

"_Get away from me, you lying pissant!_" the demon hissed, turning it's head away "_I'm not your whore!_"

"Hey" Dean looked up when the Latin didn't start. He straightened up, walking past his brother and catching his eye "Read or pull it out, Sammy."

"Maybe we can still use her" Sam offered, taking his brother's arm to stop him "Find out where Azazel is. For real, not this projection of him."

"She doesn't know" Dean pointed out.

Sam scoffed, "She lied!"

"Sam" Dean began slowly, though he was losing his patience "My innocent Jensen's in there, trapped in his own body by that bitch, and we're gonna help him."

"You might kill 'im" Bobby stated, coming up between them.

And didn't this just piss Dean off, "What?"

"What you just put him through, Jared might be right" Bobby glanced at Jensen, seeing how he was panting and hunched over himself "You coulda hurt his neck. We don't even know what this Tom did to him, what Meg's put him through, let alone your daddy. Jensen's body might be broken."

The oldest Winchester brother shook his head, "Don't say shit like that."

"What if that demon's the only thing keeping Jensen alive?" the redneck didn't want to admit it, but it had to be said "If that's true…you exorcise it, and he's gonna die."

"Listen to me, both of you" Dean looked between his brother and his friend "We are not gonna leave Jensen like that. I'm not gonna put him through this for another minute."

"He's a human being, Dean" Bobby narrowed his eyes "He has a right to live."

"If it's true…" Dean pursed his lips, his heart aching "We're gonna put him out of his misery."

Jared chewed his lower lip, "Dean, you can't mean that."

"Anyone see this playing out any other way?" Dean didn't give them a chance to respond, he didn't want to hear it "Sam, finish it. It'd be better if you finish the spell, expelling it by force might hurt him more."

Sam nodded, looking down at the journal and reading out the last section.

Jensen groaned, jerking in the chair as if it were electrocuting him. Forward, back…like some messed up strobe-light show. When he picked up his head, his eyes were dyed black once more.

"_Y-You don't even kn-know_" the demon trembled violently, lip quivering and voice going blown-stereo as it's essence was ripped from it's vessel "_He's g-got so much more planned than th-is. You won't e-ven see it coming. A-And it will be all Jared's fault!_"

It twisted at it's ropes, groaning loudly.

Finally, Jensen threw his head back and expelled the demon. Thick black smoke geysered out from his mouth, hitting the ceiling binding circle in thick waves. A constant scream of agony met their ears, stinging them and making them all flinch. The smoke curled and dissipated into flames, fizzling out against the seal.

And just as suddenly, it was over.

Jensen's head fell limply, chin kissing his chest. The way his hands were bound to the arms of the chair kept him sitting up, but he was out. They all looked on with wide eyes, scared for a moment that he was well and truly dead. Full lips parted, blood dripping from his mouth to land on his jeans and the floor.

Jared's breath caught, "Jense?"

A ragged breath was indrawn, his head tilted up. Bleary bottle green eyes cracked open, taking in his surroundings almost lazily. Jensen breathed out sharply, a spray of blood spattering the floor.

"Why…" Jensen's voice was raspy, rubbed raw "…am I always the one getting possessed?"

"He's still alive" Dean grabbed Bobby's shoulder, relief flowing through him "Call 911. Get some water and blankets."

"No, Dee…Bobby, don't call…" Jensen shook his head weakly, meeting his lover's eyes and smiling weakly "Not that hurt."

Jared and Dean dropped to their knees on either side of Jensen, working on the bindings around his wrists and ankles.

"Thanks."

"Sh-sh, Jen" Jared cooed, working on the double knotted ropes on the human's wrist "Just take it easy. Can you breath ok? Anything broken?"

"No" Jensen shook his head, wincing at the pain there "That was harder than the ghost. I feel sore all over, and my fuckin' head hurts from where you hit me. Nice hook, by the way."

"I'm sorry, Jen" Dean took the man into his arms, bringing him down onto the floor. Jensen hummed pleasantly as his lover's lips brushed over his cheek, his forehead, his split lip. Thanks to Bobby, a warm cloth wiped the spare blood from his lips.

"No internal damage, huh?" Bobby inquired.

"No" Jensen laid himself out on the floor, sighing in content as he stretched himself out flat (his back realigned itself) "Tom didn't hurt me after Meg possessed me, and John didn't get a chance. A few blows to the head, but I'm fine. Hell was worse. I couldn't move my own body, though…and everything was through a nightmare-filter."

"I knew you'd beat it" Dean grinned, overjoyed to have one member of his family back.

Sam gently pushed aside his lover, kneeling beside it.

"Was it telling us the truth about our dad?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah" Jensen nodded, breaths coming a little easier now "I can't remember everything, some of it…she blocked it out. It's a trap, I know that much. They want you to come for him."

"If Dad's still alive, none of that matters" Dean smoothed back his lover's hair, cringing at the red blotches on his perfect skin (those came from his own fists) "What happened when you two left?"

"John blessed the water, the warehouse was old and dripping everywhere" Jensen concentrated on the ceiling, it was all kind of fuzzy "Tom was there -_the bastard, may he rot in Hell_- and demanded I bring the Colt to him. He taunted John a bit, and just when we were about to run out of there…he realized the gun was a fake. Next thing I know, he's blowing this dust in my face and I'm on the floor. I bought John about maybe a minute, but then Meg took over. I remember something about Sam and some kind of plot…the next thing I know…John's pinned up on a wall, I'm taunting and touching him…there's a lot of black."

Jensen closed his eyes with a sigh, not realizing just how terrible that sounded.

Sam cleared his throat, "Where's Azazel?"

"I don't know where that bastard is, they barely know" Jensen made a face "But he's not there. There are…other, awful demons."

"Where are they keeping Dad?" Dean kept touching his lover's hair, his cheek, just assuring himself that Jensen was back "Can you give us a name or…?"

"By a river" Jensen sat up, leaning into the Winchester "Sunrise Apartments."

"Ok, let's get going" Sam stood, walking over and picking up the Key "Can I, uh…borrow this Bobby?"

The older man waved it off, "Yeah. I know your licensee plate number, you're not goin' nowhere."

"Do you think you can go with us?" Jared inquired, watching his best friend get to his feet "If you don't feel up to it, no one's going to blame you."

"Seriously, Jay" Jensen clicked his tongue, shaking his head "I went through ten years of that, I'm fine."

Jensen bent down and pulled his knife from his boot, scowling, "Bitch got blood on my knife! Fuck, dude, I think this may be _my_ blood!"

"Yep, Jen's back" Dean stood, not surprised at all "Let's get the hell outta here and get Dad back."

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know (ah ah)It's all about us (all about us)**_


	54. Chapter 54

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {54-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Devil's Trap"

* * *

It took them some time, and Jensen by memory, but they got to the river with time to spare. They all napped on the car ride, taking turns.

Right now, Sam had the Key spread out on the roof of the car and thumbing through it. Jensen and Jared were talking quietly further by the river, silently agreeing that they were just going to drop off the face of the earth. Their lives were weird, and with a nod of their heads the constant tick-tick of the ominous clock was gone from their ears.

Dean was loading up a duffle of weapons, checking each gun for ammo.

"You've been quiet" Sam stated suddenly.

"Just getting ready" Dean muttered, throwing a tin can of salt into the duffle.

"He's gonna be fine, Dean" Sam stated off-handedly, knowing exactly what his brother was thinking.

"Hey, is there any symbols in there to put on the trunk?" Dean walked around the car, peering at the book "To, uh, keep demons out of it?"

"What?" Sam's brow creased.

"Like a lockbox" the oldest shrugged "We gotta put the Colt somewhere."

"Uh, no?" Sam turned to his brother, cocking his head "Dean, we're not leaving it behind."

"Yeah we are" Dean stated, pointing at one of the symbols on the page "There's an old-fashioned Devil's Trap. Draw that one on the corners, will ya?"

"Dean, listen to me" Sam snapped "We've got _one_ bullet. Yeah, that's mostly my fault, but I'd like to put the blame on Samuel Colt for being a douche and not making more. I digres…"

Sam held up a palm, not ready to rant.

"That bullet will be used on Azazel. _Only_ on Azazel. If we go to save Dad, and Azazel is in there while the Colt is in _here_…" Sam tapped the trunk for emphasis, keeping his voice even "I am going to be _very_, _very_ upset. And by upset, I mean…I'm gonna blow up this entire fuckin' building."

"Listen, Bipolar" Dean took a step away, afraid he would see his brother's eyes flicker "That gun is our only leverage for Dad. Leverage becomes our death wish if the demons overpower us and take it. In here…maybe we can barter."

"There's no trade!" Sam snapped "We're gonna go in there, kick ass, and take names! Personally, I'm not gonna let some demon that close."

"Dude, do you even know how pissed Dad would be if we ended up using the last bullet?" Dean scoffed "He would gut us right where we stand! He wouldn't want us to bring the gun."

"I don't give a fuck what Dad wants, Dean" Sam snorted in a laugh, tone taunting "I've never given a fuck about what Dad wants…hell, I don't even two fucks! All I know, is that I'm killing this demon. You used to want that too, remember?"

Dean dropped his eyes, careful with his words.

"You and dad are way more alike than you realize" he lifted his gaze, jade eyes burning into his little brother "You both are so willing so sacrifice yourself for this thing. Somehow, Dad's got Jensen brainwashed to, and he wasn't even there! You know what? I'm gonna be the one to bury you guys…Jared and I both. Thankfully, Jensen hasn't gotten so venal with it."

Dean smacked his lips, a bitter smile tugging at his lips, "But you and Dad…you're selfish, you know that? You don't care about anything but revenge. It was ok when Dad was mourning over Mom and you had lost Jessica, I got that. But, if you two haven't noticed…you've got more now.

Sam was about to open his mouth to protest, but Dean seized his arm and steered him to face J2 over there. They had their heads together still, Jensen was helping Jared clean the barrel of his gun.

"Dad's got us, Dad's got those two now too. They're giving up their entire lives for this mission, to fight off the evil we've been combating with since we were kids" Dean kept his voice low, but no less stern "And if you haven't noticed, Sammy…you've got Jared now. It's your job to take care of him, remember?"

"I will take care of him, I'm going to put things right" Sam turned to his brother "I'm taking it in with me. Trust me with it."

Dean took his bottom lip between his teeth, "Maybe-"

"No, Dean" Sam's eyes flickered "That wasn't a request. I'm taking it."

"Fine" Dean turned away from his brother, snatching the duffle out of the trunk and shutting it "Jerk."

"Bitch."

"Boys!" Dean called, catching the actors attention "Let's get moving!"

Jensen shot him a smile, "Yes, _sir_."

()

They left the Impala down the street, close enough to run to but out of sight. They had just rounded the corner when Dean stopped, the small trees planted around the building brushing their shoulders and hiding them. Dean peeked through the branches, scowling.

"Son of a bitch" he grumbled "He's pretty smart."

"Yeah, if these demons can jump-posses, it could be anyone" Sam lowered one of the branches, noting the children playing on the steps outside "They could make anybody attack us."

Jensen scrunched his nose, "Yeah, so we can't just kill them. I hate that loophole."

"Fuckin' demons" Jared muttered beneath his breath "Building full of human shields."

"And you know they know exactly what we look like" Sam pointed out, annoyed more than anything "And they have the faces of anyone."

Dean turned away from the trees, "This sucks out loud."

"Tell me about it" Sam pulled out his bitch-face "Alright, so how are we gonna get in?"

They all paused to think, squinting against the grey sunlight and scratching their heads.

"Fire alarm" Dean stated suddenly "It'll get out all the civilians."

"O-kay" Sam cocked his head to the side "But the city responds in, what…seven minutes?"

Jared nodded, "Seven minutes _exactly_."

"I'll go in" Jensen started to go forward, but his lover grabbed his arm with a incredulous look "What? I can do it."

"I have no doubt about that" Dean replied fluidly "But you, baby…you draw way too much attention to yourself. You're too much like me. Let Sam go."

Jensen pouted, "I wasn't gonna do anything!"

Jared scoffed, "Like you weren't thinking of blinding those soccer moms with your smile?"

The actor blushed and shrugged, muttering something about smartass angels.

()

So Sam snuck in and turned on the fire alarm. Thanks to Dean pulling some little scene about a Yorkie, Sam and J2 were able to sneak around and unlock one of the compartments in the firetruck. They managed four outfits, and Jared made a remark about how lucky they were to find an outfit to fit Jensen's stature. That got the half-angel a smack to his mask.

So four "firemen" made there way through the halls. Dean held an EMF reader up to each door as they passed, getting nothing.

"I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up" Dean remarked off-handedly.

Sam stopped behind his brother, "You never told me that."

Jensen's eyes went wide behind his mask, "Damn."

The EMF reader was positively blaring in the Winchester's hand, going wild. Going along with the plan, Dean started pounding on the door with the brunt of his fist.

"This is the fire department" Dean shouted "We need you to evacuate."

They waited on edge, listening specifically for the metallic click. When it came, Sam muscled his way in and knocked the door right into the female demons head. He pulled the hose on her and the male, the water blessed and burning through their skin. Dean seized the male by his lapels, slamming his head off the wall.

"Jensen!" Dean barked "The door!"

Jensen through open the closet door, his lover through the man in head first. Sam shoved the woman in behind him, and Dean through himself on the door. Jared and Jensen put their weight against it just as the demons started screaming and kicking at the wood, jostling all three of them.

Sam scrambled for the salt canister.

"Hurry up!" Jared grunted, eyes glowing faintly as he put his full weight into it.

With practiced movements, Sam poured a thick line of salt around the three men. They sighed in relief, and the demons quieted behind the door at the binding of the salt.

Breathing hard, they stripped off their helmets and suits. Jared ripped the Velcro from his neck, taking off his jacket in one long movement. He happened to look up, finding his lover staring at him hungrily while he was fiddling with his pants.

Jared rolled his eyes, "Sam, this is really inappropriate."

The taller man didn't even blush, "It's hot, I'm not sorry."

"Guys" Dean gave them a look, then scoffed and made his way further inside the apartment (there was a door cracked open) "Come on. There."

Sam hooked the duffle bag over his shoulder, and the two others followed loyally. With a softer look from his big brother, Sam shouldered open the door. It swung open slowly, revealing their father tied to the bed…wrists and ankles bound. He looked beaten up, blood smeared on his face.

Jensen drew in a sharp breath, "Oh God, John."

"Dad" Dean went to the older man's side, reaching down and feeling his neck before putting his head down to listen for breath "He's still alive."

Jared flinched away toward the doorway, "There's something wrong here."

"Wake up" Dean shook his dad "Dad, wake up."

When the man didn't respond, Dean pulled a knife out from his belt and flipped it open. Jensen came up on the other side, pulling out his own knife from his boot. They were about to cut the bindings, but Jared tugged hard at Sam's sleeve.

"Wait" Sam commanded, getting a rush when they both listened to him "Just wait."

Dean looked up at his brother in confusion, "What?"

"He could be possessed for all we know" Sam pointed out, tasting something different in the air (though nothing as strongly as Jared was feeling, apparently.)

"What are you nuts?" Dean scoffed, dismissing him.

"Dean" Sam pulled a flask out of the duffle, flashing Jared an assuring smile "We gotta be sure."

Jensen pulled his knife away from the ties, "This is so stupid."

Sam splashed the holy water onto their father's body, nothing happened for the first few seconds. John groaned a bit, shifting on the bed. He gasped in a breath, cracking his eyes open. They watched on with baited breath as he took in his surroundings, lifting his head and blinking at his youngest son.

"Sam?" he licked his dry lips, head falling back on the bed "Dean, why are you letting…your brother splash water on me?"

"Sorry Dad" Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother's breathless chuckle, then leant down and began to cut away his father's binds "You okay?"

"They've been drugging me" John drawled, trying to keep his breath "Jensen…they got him and…"

"I'm right here, John" Jensen assured him softly, freeing the man's wrist with a few swift motions of his knife "Meg's dead, I'm fine. Sorry about…uh, everything. Whatever I did to you-"

"S'okay, son" John managed to keep his eyes open now, blinking dully "Where's the Colt?"

"Don't worry, Dad" Sam didn't want to mention that it the Colt was the warm weight in the pocket of his jacket "It's safe."

"Good boys" John breathed in relief "Good boys."

There was a tension in the room as the older of the four released John, the bindings giving way beneath their blades. Dean and Jensen took each side of John, who shook his head weakly in protest.

"Sorry Jensen" John stated "Yer too small too hold me. Jared, boy, get over 'ere."

"But-" Jensen squeaked in protest, but his lover gave him a look. Jared took his best friend's place, putting John's arm over his shoulder reluctantly. As soon as his skin touched his, a numbing sensation shot through his back. He was about to say something, but it faded into warmth.

Jared blinked dully, his angel senses instantly going quiet.

//Huh, weird// Jared thought silently as they made to get out of the room //Must've been the demons in the closet then.//

Sam shook his head just then, calm coming through the bond from his lover. The tension eased…it must've just been because nothing was ever so easy. Made you paranoid some times.

Of course, that ingrain fear was proven true when the door busted inwards. A large, bald man came in…as did a fireman. Both were possessed, obvious by their dyed-black eyes. Two more demons came in from the hall, freaking him out. Four demons? What in the Hell?

"Go! Go!" Sam shoved them back into the room, slamming the door closed between them and locking the door. He could've thrown them, but he wasn't about to put Jared in danger. Fuckin' demons, possessing men with axes. That same axe came through the door, making him jump back.

Jensen tugged at the Winchester's shoulder, getting into the duffle and pulling out the salt canister.

"Hold 'em off, Sam!" Jared shouted, getting John through the window to Dean.

"Ok" Sam stepped back, eyes flickering black as the man on the other side kept hacking at the door. With a push of his mind, the demon flew backward and was knocked into the wall on the far side. It felt good, it was a rush, and it was so damned_ easy_. The other demons hesitated at this, looking at him curiously through the door.

Sam just grinned at them as Jensen sealed the door with a line of salt.

They rushed out the window, Dean taking the duffle as it was thrown at him. The last of the salt was used by Sam to cut off the windowsill, dropping the empty canister on the fire escape as they hurried to get down to the ground. Dean hit it first, holding out his arms to support his father when he all but collapsed when his feet touched the ground. Jared hopped down next, taking John's other arm. Together they got him down the sidewalk, Jensen and Sam getting ahead of them easily.

It was a moment of distraction on his part, Sam had looked back and…

Tom came out of nowhere, a sucker punch in the form of a tackle. Sam's head cracked off the pavement sharply, causing his vision to swim.

"Hey!" Dean barked, ready to get to his brother's side.

"I got it" Jensen ran over, getting the guy right in the face with his boot when the demon pulled back his fist to hit Sam. Tom's head was knocked back by the force, but didn't really go down until the second kick.

"Son of a bitch" Jensen spat, taking pleasure in the way the demon fell backwards into the dirt with the taste of his boot in his mouth "Think you can rent out my body? Huh?"

The actor dug his heel in the demon's gut, "I am so fucking tired of being possessed!"

Tom spat out a bit of blood, grinning and seizing Jensen's ankle, "Naughty boy, Jenny. You weren't a very good vessel, now were you? When I get done with you, pretty boy, you'll be begging that it was _just_ my sister inside you."

Sam got his bearings and sat up, outstretching his hand. Tom's hand fell from the actor's leg, head thrown back. He thrashed and choked in minor resistance, but with just the right push of his power and…

Darkness flew from Tom's open mouth, fading out a few feet above his head like cigarette smoke.

It was over in moments, the body went limp. Jensen staggered backwards, glaring fiercely at the man. The abandoned vessel just breathed, chest rising slowly and eyelashes fluttering.

"Come on!" Dean barked, already within feet of the Impala while Jared eased John into the front seat "Let's get the hell out of here!"

Jensen and Sam exchanged a look, the actor helped him to his feet.

"Nice kick" the Winchester stated.

Jensen glanced once more at the body, "Nice power."

Hazel eyes flickered to black, "There's more where that came from."

A sudden wave hit him, he perked up instantly. Sam looked around, scanning the buildings. There were more demons coming, strong ones. He could take them, but he didn't need these guys holding him back.

"Dean, get out of here" Sam pushed Jensen toward the car, standing firm "I'll hotwire a car and catch up later."

"What?" Dean shook his head "Hell no, Sammy, get in the car!"

"Dude, there are at least a dozen more demons coming!" Sam sensed them just around the corner, pouring out of the building "Get back to the cabin, I'll meet you there. If they follow us, we're all dead. Azazel might be around, watching for the Colt. Just in case…keep it safe!"

Sam pulled out the Colt, throwing it to his brother. Dean caught it but seemed torn, dancing on the balls of his feet in front of the driver's side door. He looked down at the gun, then back at his little brother.

"He's got power, Dee, he'll be fine" Jensen hissed in his ear, tugging the end of his shirt "Let's get the Hell out of here. Your dad's hurt, we're human, and all we've got is Jared and Sam right now. Let 'im got at it, burn that hate that he didn't get to use on Ryanimay."

Dean nodded at his brother, gesturing, "Go to town, Sam. If you're not back in three hours, I'm gonna come back here and kick your ass!"

Sam nodded, a smirk tugging at his lips as his eyes went black.

Dean jumped into the Impala and started it up, pulling away before he could see the four demons coming around the corner.

Sam was ready for them.

_**TBC**_

_**All about us (all about us)**_


	55. Chapter 55

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {55-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Devil's Trap", major violence

**(AN: **Sorry that's it taking about ten chapters to go through two episodes, but I don't want to have a real never-ending chapter. I want cliffies, and I want to have drama. I was gonna have this chapter go longer, but I didn't want to break up the scene.**)**

* * *

The cabin was a bit shady and rundown, but it was free and it had been picked out ahead of time. Dean had taken up the care of John, wiping up the blood and getting his cuts cleaned. In Sam's place, Jared salted all the windows and doors. He double-checked everything, not giving any demon an opening. Jensen was nibbling at a Nutri-Gran bar, easing his rumbling tummy. He sat on the wooden table, feet on the chair in front of him.

It was cold and dark, but it was home for now.

Jared finished up his job just as Dean did, wiping his hands off on a towel as he entered the living room.

"How is he?" Jensen questioned softly.

"Ah, he just needs a little rest, that's all" Dean sighed, leaning against the table beside his boyfriend and making sure to get all the blood off "You two good?"

"For once, we didn't get beat up" Jared turned, screwing back on the top of their second container of rock salt. He dropped his gaze to the floor, honey hair obscuring his eyes as he chewed his lower lip. Dean leaned down to try and catch those Nile green orbs, brow creased.

"What is it, Jay?"

"Hey, Dean?" Jared raised his head, worried "You don't think we were followed here, do ya?"

"I don't know" the Winchester admitted "I don't think so. This is about as out-of-the-way as it gets."

The half-angel glanced out the window briefly, "It's just…Sam…"

"Are you kidding?" Jensen snorted, a mouthful of cherry goodness on his tongue "Sam probably _ate_ those guys. He'll be here soon, you'll see. No one followed us."

No one said anything else, and the Nutri-Gran bar quickly disappeared between greedy lips. He crinkled up the wrapper and threw it, grinning when it hit the trash can square on.

Dean looked over at his lover, letting his gaze go up and down his form. Now that the adrenaline wasn't going and he wasn't freaking out about his dad, a few thoughts drifted into his mind. Like what Meg had said. Again, unwillingly, images of his sweet Jensen…on his father, under him, with his mouth around-

"_Jen_" Dean spat out the word like a poison, instantly regretting it when his lover cringed "Jensen…uh, listen. Meg said some things, man…stuff about what you did when she had control of you. Do you remember anything that…involves my dad?"

Jensen's brow creased, "What did she say?"

"Do you remember anything she made you do?" the Winchester kept his eyes locked on his hands, weaving the cloth in and out of his digits "Anything…interesting?"

Jensen's eyes widened as words came back to him in his voice (but not), //_I did things to him your mommy could never even dream of_.//

Jensen got off the table, turning and facing taller man. Dean glanced up and caught his gaze, trapped and unable to look away.

"Oh Dean" Jensen crowded up against him, twisting his fingers in the man's shirt. Dean tried to pull away, but his lover's lips brushed against his cheek and froze. "Baby, no. I woulda taken a knife to my own throat before I let her do that. Dean…Dee, look at me."

Dean turned his head, he couldn't resist that plea. Those lovely emerald eyes he adored were beseeching him, fingertips rubbing circles along his ribs. He sighed into the touch, relaxing and letting him close. Jensen smiled at the subtle gesture, brushing his lips along his soulmates jaw and cheek. The stubble burned at the sensitive skin, but he loved it.

"I love you, Dee" Jensen purred lowly, nosing at the strong jaw.

"I know, honey" Dean reached up and laced his hands in light hair, petting him and dropping a kiss on his temple. He kept his lips pressed there against the warm skin, shutting his eyes and the world out. He used the moment to take in the man's scent, to feel content, to block it out. Just a moment, but enough to help push him forward.

"God, Jen, the things I'm willing to do for you" Dean pulled away at last, giving him a tired smile "For Jared, for Sam, for dad…it scares me sometimes."

"It shouldn't" they pulled away from each other, all eyes going to the doorway. John only had a slight limp, lips quirking as he walked into the room. "You did good."

"What?" Dean made a face "You're not mad?"

John scoffed, "For what?"

"I left Sam back there…with _demons_" his son replied, kinda confused "We brought the Colt. I mean, we didn't use it, but it could've been taken from us. We didn't after Azazel so we could save you."

"Mad" John shook his head affectionately "I'm proud of you. Sam and I…we can get pretty obsessed. But you, Dean, you hold this family together. You always have. The way you watch out for these brats…"

John gestured to the actors, they flushed.

"Well, since you're up…" Jensen went to walk past him, the bathroom further down from the bedroom "I need to go clean up, I feel horrible."

"Jensen" John reached out and snatched the boy's shoulder, making him shudder from the tight touch. He smiled a bit and loosened his grip, patting it. "What happened wasn't your fault. That bastard got us by surprise, I shouldn't have let that happen to you. She didn't hurt you too bad, did she?"

"Nah" the actor shrugged "It wasn't as bad as it could have been. Did I…did she make me hurt you?"

"You couldn't hurt me, Jen" the nickname sounded wrong on John's lips, his dark eyes locked right on him "Now go wash up. You must feel disgusting."

Jensen stepped away from him, nodding a bit before darting into the bathroom. There was a long pause, the silence only filled when the shower started

John turned back to his son.

"You put family first, Dean, that's worth admiration" the man continued as if nothing had interrupted him "And you left your brother in a situation that he is perfectly safe in. You've acknowledged his power, and accepted it…like a good big brother should. It's about time. I was afraid for you boys for a while…but you're trusting him to do the right thing."

Not a minute later, the lights started to flicker. There was some bumping from what seemed like everywhere. John shot for the window, pushing the flimsy curtains aside to peer out into the darkness. Dean and Jared watched him, eyes wide and denial washing over them.

"It's found us" John scowled, turning back to them "It's here."

"Azazel" Dean hissed.

"Jared, lines of salt" John commanded "In front of every window, every door."

"I already did" the half-angel replied quickly.

"Well…" John huffed "Check it, okay?"

"Okay" Jared nodded, darting off to the back of the house to check the door and windows there first.

Dean was about to head to the bathroom to grab his soulmate, but his dad's voice stopped him.

"Dean, you got the gun?"

"Yeah" Dean nodded.

John nodded back, "Give it to me."

"Dad, we only have one bullet" Dean pointed out, reaching into the back of his pants for the gun "Sam said that back in Salvation…Azazel just vanished into thin air. What if this isn't his real form?"

"This is me, I won't miss" John's features hardened, holding out his hand "Now, the gun. Hurry."

Dean looked down at the gun in his hand, then back up at his father. His own eyes hardened, jaw set.

"Son, _please_."

Dean took two slow steps back.

"Give me the gun" John demanded "What are you doing, Dean?"

"He'd be furious" Dean spoke lowly, the disbelief giving way to anger.

"What?"

"I left Sammy behind, something he ingrained in me never to do. We took the Colt, it's the only thing he's cared about for years besides the hunt. He wouldn't be proud of me, he'd rip me a new one. He hates Sam's power, it freaks him out. He told me at the start to try and get Sam to quit using it, that he was completely against it. And not once did you call Jensen 'Hollywood', you called him _Jen_. It's some sick inner joke you two have, one I've never been let in on but even he could see it" Dean tightened his grip on handle, raising the gun and cocking it "You're not my dad."

()

Sam pulled demon after demon out of each vessel, the sun going down by the time he went through them all. Some had put up more than a fight than others, and his jacket was stained with at least three different blood types. He drew his hand up to his lips, licking the crimson from his digits. He still felt eyes on him, digging into his back.

"I can't believe you're still following us" Sam spoke, knowing he was heard "I thought you would be gone forever. Did you not think I felt Uriel's death?"

A flash of bright blue eyes came from the shadows, "You sense me?"

"I'm _strong_ now, my power has settled" Sam low laugh was one of amusement "I can feel so much."

"You have one weakness."

"That's why I keep him so close" Sam lapped at the bead of blood on his wrist, eyes pure tar "You had a weakness too, Castiel."

There was a sound akin to a hiss, "I…was made to destroy him. If I had not done it, you or Uriel would have. It was my last task as a warrior of God Almighty."

Pitch flashed to hazel, "His blood would have given me the power I needed to kill Azazel."

"Excuse me if I didn't let you drink the blood of my eternal mate" the angel sneered, ivory against the shadow and one of the only parts visible "You are plenty strong without his life in your belly."

Sam brushed copper strands out of his eyes, "Besides slaughtering angels, how have you been Cass?"

The light hit the angel, pale skin and gorgeous cerulean eyes glowing against the shadows, "I have been better, Samuel."

Sam turned his head, cocking it, "Do you know of my plans as I know of yours?"

"Yes" Castiel scoffed "The Underworld is abuzz with it, all know except for those who should. It doesn't seem possible."

"It isn't…unless I have help" Sam turned completely, adrenaline still racing through him from the fight "How can you swear revenge on Heaven unless you get aid from the Devil?"

"Lucifer?" the angel asked, shock in his voice.

"Oh don't sound so pathetic and frightened. I was talking about me, not that pathetic loser. Do you think I would take myself so low?"

"You took blood from an angel."

"Because he is _my_ angel" Sam hissed.

Castiel looked as if he would fade away, so the Winchester calmed himself.

"You have strength to spare hidden under that trench coat…you have a lot to offer. I know that you took Ryanimay's power within you, and I'm sure it's settled into you as well" Sam snorted out an amused chuckle "I'm glad you came."

"I came because Jensen is in trouble" Castiel admitted "Jared is safe because he is half-angel…but your brother is going to get hurt."

"They'll all get hurt by the end of it" Sam approached slowly, a grin tugging at his lips "I have a business proposition for you, Castiel. People will die, innocents will be hurt…but Jensen will be fine in the end."

The angel shifted his stance, licking his lips idly.

"…I am listening."

()

"Dean, it's me" John assured him.

"I know my dad better than anyone" Dean growled "And you ain't him."

"What the Hell's gotten into you?" John's eyes went wide, locked on the gun.

"I could ask you the same thing" Dean's aim was true "Stay back."

Jared chose that moment to come into the room, breath hitching at the sight, "Fuck, Dean! What the hell's going on?"

"Dean's lost his mind" the oldest man stated, as if it were nothing.

"He's not my dad" Dean countered.

Jared was almost hysterical, "_What?_"

"I think he's possessed" Dean's voice faltered "I think he's been possessed since we've rescued him."

"Don't listen to him, boy."

"Dean, how do you know?" Jared swept his eyes over John, trying to sense something.

"Can't you feel anything?" the younger Winchester glanced at him hopefully.

"No, I thought I did earlier…" Jared tried to stir up his angel mojo, but he felt numb "I can't feel anything at all, something's wrong."

"I knew it. He's -- He's different" Dean kept his eyes locked on his 'father' for any signs of advance.

"You know, we don't have time for this" John gave the half-angel a pleading look "You wanna help kill this demon? You gotta trust me, Jared…just like Sammy does. You have his face, you have to at least have an inkling of his intelligence."

"My dad respects angels" Dean spat, gaze forward "He never said anything to you, but you know he'd never just insult you like that. John Winchester goes into denial about things he can't handle, and that includes that fact that you look like Sam."

Jared gaze went back to John, tilting his head thoughtfully.

"Jared."

"No" the half-angel stepped over beside Dean, resolute "No."

John looked between them, looking so hurt. He swallowed thickly, eyes shiny.

"Fine" he choked out "You're both so sure? You're both against me? Then go ahead. Kill me."

John teared up horribly, looking ready to cry. He lowered his head, shoulders shaking.

Dean's lower lip quivered, but he neither pulled the trigger nor dropped the gun.

John stopped, a low chuckle leaving his lips.

"I thought so."

John raised his eyes, they were yellow.

_**TBC**_

_**We'll run away if we must**_


	56. Chapter 56

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {56-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Devil's Trap", major violence

**(AN:** Ok, I don't know why my muses are so hung up on some John/Jensen action. It's not gonna happen, and I wish someone would tell them that. That's kinky, even for me. Even though John's talking and there's no italics, it is indeed Azazel.**)**

* * *

Before either could move, before a shot could even be considered, Azazel threw them both with his mind. Jared found himself bounced off the wall, then pinned. Dean shouted as he was knocked to the right, head and back cracking pretty sharply off the wooden wall. Hell, he would have propelled to the floor with the force, but he was stuck there too. The Colt flew from his hand, landing on the floor with a thunk.

Azazel bent down and took up the gun, holding it's solid weight in his palm and examining it, "What a pain in the ass this thing's been."

Dean tried to pick his head up from the wall, straining but failing.

Jared pulled in a shaky breath, "It's you, isn't it?"

Azazel just smiled at him.

"You Yellow-Eyed bastard" Dean kept straining, but the power was strong "We've been looking for you for a long time."

"Well, you found me" Azazel waved the Colt.

Dean's brow creased, "But the holy water…?"

Azazel scoffed, "You think something like that would hurt something like me? Come on, do you even know how old I am?"

Dean's eyes went to Jared when the man groaned, moving himself a bit away from the wall before his head smacked back against the wood painfully. The oldest Winchester brother sighed at this, it had been his only chance. An angel…at the Devil's mercy. Great.

"I'm gonna kill you" Jared hissed, the iris's of his eyes glowing faintly, but not enough.

"Oh" the demon raised his eyebrows "That'd be a neat trick. Considering how I numbed you."

The half-angel's breath was ragged from the strain, unable to summon his powers, "How?"

"You touched me willingly. Which I am extremely flattered at, by the way" Azazel stepped forward, looking him over as if sizing up a cut of beef "Little ol' half-angel like you? You have to consciously will your power, or I don't burn. So I took the opportunity, locked away all those useful powers that could be used to let you ruin my party…"

The demon raised his hand, running the back of it over the boy's cheek. The skin of John's hand sizzled and reddened, but Azazel didn't even wince.

"…but apparently not all your power" he pulled a face, obviously annoyed at this unforeseen factor "You'll have to forgive me, I haven't seen a legitimate one of you in some time. Guess I forgot the rules, huh? No worries…I guess I'll just have to refrain from touching you."

John's body stepped back, "That's ok. I wouldn't touch my creation's toy, anyways. He might get a little angry, huh? Maybe even bitter…like when Dean touched you."

"How do you even…?" Jared trailed off, feeling drained.

Azazel put the Colt on the table, just so amused.

Jared glanced at it, wishing he had Sam's telekinesis (and, overall, wishing he had Sam.)

The shower sound stopped from inside the bathroom. Dean opened his mouth to scream, but one look from the demon sealed his throat (as well as Jared's.) Azazel put a fingertip to his lips, blinking once to let yellow fade to warm brown.

"Shh, let's not ruin the surprise" he whispered "I've got plans for your boy, Dean."

"God, that's better!" Jensen exclaimed, coming out of the bathroom. He was scrubbing his head with a towel, eyes clenched shut. His bare feet padded across the hardwood floor, frayed denim touching the pale of his skin. He had on the same jeans, but only left his dark green undershirt on. Dean noted with disdain it was thin, could be ripped, and he wanted to scream out for his lover so badly.

He tossed the towel on the floor, sighing contently and cracking open his eyes. Those emerald eyes went from calm to fearful in juts a few seconds, seeing Dean and Jared against the wall.

"Guys?" he squeaked, obviously having no idea.

John advanced on him at a steady pace, his instincts kicking in enough for him to back up. With a smirk, John's arm shot out and caught him around the middle. He took in a sharp breath, the bulk of the man overtaking him. Chest to chest, warm breath washed over his neck.

"John?" the actor pushed at his shoulders, but the man was strong "Get off me!"

"Mmm" the demon took in the scent of the boy's skin "I didn't believe Tom when he told me, I thought he was just hungry. But…damn, boy, if you don't smell like honey drizzled over sugar."

Jensen's mouth dropped open, he froze, "You're not-!"

Jensen found himself tossed into the wall, what felt like steel hooks keeping him there. He kept his gaze on John, realizing his mistake when the man blinked and yellow appeared.

"Oh shit" the smaller man swallowed "_Azazel_."

"About a year ago no one even know my name, consider me flattered twice now" the demon held up a finger "Stay still. I'll get to you soon enough, Jenny."

Azazel paced the middle of the room, looking them all over and keeping them still with just a thought.

"Well, I hope you sons-of-bitches are proud of yourselves" his expression went from amused to angry in less than a second, they all felt it as his power flexed (he was looking right at Jared now) "You, little half-angel, I hope you're _really _proud. Do you know how much you've fucked up my plans? Giving Sam you're blood, what the hell's wrong with you?! Do you even know the power you've handed him!? If it wasn't for me, he'd-"

Azazel cut himself off, muttering something in another language. He managed to cool himself off though, rolling his head back on his shoulders. He manipulated John's face into an expression of mild amusement, walking over to the window and looking out.

"You know, this is fun, all you boys together. I watched you all grow, from babies to cock-sucking hunters. It's beautiful, really" Azazel stated, containing outright laughter "I could've killed you a hundred times today, but this…" he exhaled "This was worth the wait."

Azazel turned to look at Dean, who was glaring daggers, "You're dad…he's in here with me. Trapped inside his own meat suit."

The demon watched avidly as the boy's lower lips trembled.

"He says hi, by the way" Azazel stated, voice going husky "He's gonna tear you apart. He's gonna taste the iron in your blood."

"Let him go" Dean hissed "Or I swear to God--"

"What? What are you and God gonna do?" Azazel snapped, lips drawing back in a scowl "As far as I'm concerned, this is _justice_."

The demon advanced, getting right in the Winchester's personal space. Jared and Jensen exchanged looks, the older mouthing _Can you do anything? _Only to get a reply of _I'm useless, I'm numb_.

"You know that little exorcism of yours? That was my daughter" jade eyes showed shock at this "Yeah, Jenny was holding my daughter inside him. I put her there 'cause I thought she'd be safe."

"Who, Meg?"

"The one that Sammy drew out? Expelled back to Hell?" the demon leaned in, the Winchester winced at the hot breath that touched his cheek "…that was _my boy_…you understand?"

Dean made a face of disgust, "You gotta be kidding me."

"What? You're the only one aloud to have a family?" Azazel scowled, faux-offended "You destroyed my children. How would you feel…if I killed your family?"

Jensen refrained from shouting at the mix of hurt and anger that chased each other over his lover's face, pinned tight against the surface.

"Oh" Azazel breathed, lips forming an 'o' of realization and macabre humor "I forgot. I did."

"You son-of-a-bitch" Dean muttered, face tight in rage.

"Still…" the demon held up two fingers, giving Dean a scolding look "Two wrongs…don't make a right."

"But one more wrong can't hurt, huh?" he smacked his lips, pulling away, " 'Cause let me tell you this…you owe me. I took your mom, but you took both my kids. And looking at you now, Dean Winchester…you've only got one thing to barter."

Dean's eyes flickered to his soulmate, "No. If you want something, take me."

Azazel sighed dramatically, strolling idly across the room toward the actor.

"I can't touch Jared, and I want you to watch" the demon was just talking to let them hear John's voice at this point "Sam's not here, so that only leaves one option."

The demon reached out, seizing a fistful of light hair and dragging him across the room. Jensen struggled valiantly, but damn! This thing had John's strength and demon powers, he wasn't getting away. Azazel took the boy right in front of Dean, wrapping his arms around Jensen's torso and holding him to his chest. He did struggle, but his arms were pinned. The demon dug his chin into Jensen's shoulder, meeting Dean's impossibly wide eyes.

"You should be equal parts grateful and pissed, boy" it made John's voice drawl "Any other day, I'd fuck him right in here in front of you with your daddy's body. I'd make him scream…and bleed, and cum…he'd call out your name over and over for help…"

The demon turned his head, grabbing the trembling human by his hair and tilting his head. He licked a slick stripe up his neck to his cheek, ending it with a brush of lips right on his temple. Those yellow were positively glowing now, pure ire in their depths.

"But obviously you underestimate how _very_, _very_ pissed off you've made me" the demon spat, yanking back on light hair so hard even Dean winced "I'm in no mood for psychological games. I want to hurt something soft, I want break something pretty. Why not Jenny here?"

He bared his teeth, "Brace yourselves…cause I am not happy."

The demon pulled away, but not for long. Jensen found himself hooked with those mental-binds again, thrown clear across the room. He 'oomph'ed when he hit the wall, eyes wide at the ease of it. Azazel smacked him down against the floor with a look, then back up against the ceiling. Jensen cried out, vision spinning at the suddenness.

"I had plans for Sammy, I did" Jensen flew into the table, but it didn't collapse under his weight. Instead, the air was taken from his lungs and his ribs were struck at the wrong angle. "They were perfect, as they were for all my children. But no…you four and your fuckin' soul connection screwed everything up."

"Stop it!" Dean screamed, watching as his lover was thrown like a rag doll back into the wall. His mouth was stained with his own blood, he had bitten his own lip.

"No, I'm not done" Azazel was off-handed in his anger, knocking the boy into the floor with a flick of his fingers "…nah, still not done."

Jensen groaned as he was slid across the wooden floor, landing at the demon's feet. Azazel scowled down at him, drawing back his foot with ease and delivering a swift blow to his ribs. He coughed and tried to curl up on himself, earning two more hard blows.

"You were a weak vessel for my daughter, but the only one I could get my hands on" the demon spat "John would have never brought one of his real boys along, no way. But you? Yeah, he wouldn't mind if you died. None of this is fair, huh?"

The demon glanced up at Dean, delighted to see an expression of horror there, "By the way, did you know Sam is the favorite? I just wanted to make that clear, in case you didn't see it."

"John" Jensen choked, blood dripping down his chin now "…John, _please_…"

"Dad, you can't let him do this!" Dean yelled, hoping to get through to his father.

"My two children are dead, two powerful allies" the demon's eyes were on Jensen, and he reached down to take a hold of his shirt. He dragged the boy to his feet, looking into his face. "Do you know the Hell that is going to go down now? If I don't stop him…no one is, you got that? All four of you will be a part of it, and there's nothing now that I can even think of to-AH!"

Azazel was truly frustrated, but it faded as he dug his fist into the boy's soft flesh. Chest, abdomen, but never his face. Just once, just enough to make blood drop from his nose and cause a cut across the bridge.

Jensen groaned and fought to get away, but he was getting weaker with each hit.

"It's different from Hell, isn't it?" the demon inquired, though he already knew the answer "It's different when it's your real body, huh?"

He let go of the boy, but threw him back into the wall with a nod. His body twisted with a stray thought, causing him land wrong. The boy cried out violently, his shoulder coming out of his socket from the strange angle it landed against solid wood.

"C-Castiel!" Jensen cried, grasping at straws now "Please, if you can hear me…"

"Oh, he's not coming for you" Azazel pointed out, walking closer slowly "Did you know…that fallen angel? Ryanimay? Companion of Thursday…he was Castiel's lover."

Emerald eyes blinked at him in shock, vision a little hazy, "_What?_"

"Oh yeah, they've been together since time" the demon shrugged, making a face as if it _were no big deal_ that two angels were getting it on "He almost Fell for him, too. So you can understand why he doesn't give a fuck about you guys anymore. You forced his hand, made him kill his bitch…he isn't happy. I hear, personally, Heaven doesn't trust him."

Azazel dragged Jensen along the wall, closer to Dean, "But let's not talk about that."

"Sam's gonna be back any moment" Jared tried to put up a front, hoping to scare the demon "And when he does, he's gonna-"

"Hush up, boy" John's voice snapped, flicking his fingers at the half-angel and shutting him up right then by numbing his vocal chords "The grown-ups are talking."

When the demon turned back to Jensen, his eyes were half-lidded and it looked like his vision was swimming. Bruises were blooming on his skin, hands held at his sides. He had busted his lip in two places, blood smeared the usual pink skin.

Azazel couldn't stop himself, not with Dean right there watching. He gave the Winchester a wink, making his eyes flicker back to the sable of John's gaze.

"Don't you fuckin' dare" Dean hissed, all but thrashing against the wall.

Azazel was taking too much joy out of this. He reached out, curling John's fingers over the side of Jensen's face…cradling his skull. The boy realized what he was going to do and shook his head weakly, breath a little off from his badly bruised ribs.

"John, no" he panted, watching the demon step closer.

Too late. Azazel seized the boy's mouth, holding him still and thoroughly ravishing the inside of his mouth. Mmm…any other day and he would've had this boy right here. Too bad they had pissed him off so bad, killing his children and all.

Dean's teeth ached from how hard he grit them. He watched in horror, bile rising in his throat as what looked just like his dad tasted his Jensen. Jen wasn't looking too happy either, eyes wide and trying to pull away. Fingers twisted in light hair, angling his head just right.

Azazel pulled away, lapping the blood from his chin. He watched the boy turn green and knew what was coming, so he slapped a hand over his pretty mouth.

"If you throw up, I'm just gonna let you drown in it" the demon stated jovially, kind of hoping that was how it was gonna end. Jensen tilted his head back, clenching his eyes shut and swallowing down whatever he was going to upchuck. "There we go, good boy…sweet boy."

"Get yer God-forsaken hands off him" Dean demanded fiercely, ready to start kicking and screaming like a child if this power hold on him didn't stop soon. The demon took his hand from Jensen's mouth, letting his head hang limply.

"Oh, calm down" Azazel struck him easily, knocking his head like it was a toy "You dramatic child. You don't even realize what I could do if I wanted? If you hadn't killed my kids, I would've been able to give you a full demonstration. But for now…your dad's just gonna have to live with the taste of his son's used good's blood on his tongue."

The demon cocked his head at Jensen, "You know, Jenny…John really does like you. Good kid, good right hook…a worthless whore who's trying to steal his son, but a decent shot with a .45."

"Dad, you can't let this go on" Dean was pleading now "You're stronger than this! Stronger than _him_!"

The demon pursed his lips, "Not as strong as you would think, kid."

"Stronger than your kids, apparently" the Winchester spat, getting the results he wanted (his attention away from Jensen) "Yeah, you heard me. Your kids were weak. A little Latin, a little mind flex from a kid with demon blood…and they were gone. Straight back to Hell, calling for Daddy and clawing their own eyes out. Why? Cause when you get exorcised, there is no wriggling your way back out."

"I've had just about all I can take from you" Azazel turned, shutting his eyes briefly. When he reopened him, he let his power out.

"NO!" Jared screamed, mentally calling out for Sam (wherever he hell he was.)

Dean screamed suddenly, throwing his head back against the wall. Deep gashes dug themselves into his flesh, slicing open his shirt. His blood flowed like water, rolling down the cotton.

"Dad" Dean gasped, freaked out by the pain and watching himself bleed out "Dad! Don't you let it kill me!"

"No, John!' Jensen watched with wide eyes, chest heaving as he fought the binds "_Please!_"

Flaxen eyes flashed brighter.

Dean let out another scream, more cuts splitting his flesh. Soon, his shirt was soaked through with his own life-giving essence.

"John! That's your son!"

Dean grunted, bright scarlet blood spilling over his bottom lip in a mocking, macabre mirror image of his lover. Jensen let the tears pool in his eyes, seeing his lover hurt combining with his own pain until he was sure he would pass out from the sheer all-consuming pressure.

"Dad, please…" Dean begged tearfully, staring into his father's face "I…I can't die again, please…I won't come out of it whole, I won't last. There'll be nothing left of me when it's over."

Azazel jerked back suddenly, something stinging him on the very edges of his mind. He whipped around, finding Jared's eyes wide and glowing now.

"Oh no, you little half breed" Azazel spat, swiping out his hand and effectively cutting off his power again "The closer Sam gets, the stronger you are I assume? I'm almost done, don't worry."

Dean remained conscious thankfully, but the blood wouldn't quit flowing.

Azazel turned back to Jensen, taking his power off him. The boy nearly collapsed, but he kept himself on his feet through sheer force of will. Teary emerald eyes locked on the demon, defiant even with blood smearing his skin.

"Just a little bit more…just your life, then I'm done" his thick hand shot out, wide palm spanning the entire curve of his neck and making those defiant eyes go wide in fear "I'm not heartless, you know."

Using John's strength (so as not to pop off the boy's head), he clamped down on the vulnerable flesh. Jensen struggled weakly, but was picked right up off his feet and pressed against the wall. His eyes bugged out, and his mouth opened in an imitation of speech as he gasped for breath. The demon crushed down on his windpipe hard, feeling the muscle give way beneath his fingertips. Jensen clawed at his wrist, leaving red welts but not doing much (the demon couldn't even feel it.)

"…n-no…" Dean's protest was weak.

"Come on, pretty boy" Azazel grinned "Where's that wit? Where's that _I've been through Hell, nothing can scare me_ attitude I felt rolling off you? What is it, boy? Does it only do it for you if I threaten to ram John's cock up your tight ass?"

Bottle green eyes went dull, hands going limp at his sides.

"Dad, that's Jensen" the Winchester boy let his head fall back against the wall, vision a little dark. He struggled to form words, and when he did they were half whimpered.

"That's _my_ Jensen…and you're _killing_ him."

_**TBC**_

_**'Cause ya know (ah ah)It's all about us (all about us)**_


	57. Chapter 57

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {57-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Major spoilers for "Devil's Trap"

**(AN:** Everyone here should know, I don't mean to Jensen-whump. I love him, and I realized I kinda circled around just hurting him for the past few chapters. I can't touch Jared or Sam now cause they have kickass powers, and Jensen is so easy to beat up.**)**

* * *

The demon jerked suddenly, letting go. Jensen collapsed into a heap on the floor, still breathing but in a great amount of pain.

"No, stop" John muttered, eyes going back to sable. Dean slid to the ground, arms going around his middle. That moment of distraction was all Jared needed, the mental hooks leaving his body. He inhaled deeply, and when he stood the shadows of his wings extended across the wall and his eyes were glowing a bright beryl in the dim of the cabin.

Azazel whipped around, eyes full blown gold now, "You think you can kill me?"

"I can't kill you" Jared stated, his powers back full force "You are old, and I am merely a half-angel. But there is something I can do…I can purify John's body."

Azazel tensed a moment too late, "…oh damn it."

The shadows fluttered wildly, he raised his hand and pushed out the pure light. Thankfully, giving Sam his blood had just damned him to Hell…not taken away his true Grace. Azazel flailed, John's body leaving his control. He was knocked flat on his back, feet going out from under him. There was a loud groan from John's body, then his mouth stretched wide and his back arched.

Black smoke billowed out of his mouth, curling upwards thickly and leaving through the cracks in the floor. The older Winchester basically convulsed on the floor, back arching and fists hitting the floor. The demon poured forth out of the man, but only under Jared's command.

He pulled that evil out of this righteous man, saving him. Sam was coming up the driveway fast, and Jared knew if his lover was given the chance…he would shoot his own father in the heart. This way, the Winchesters kept their father for a bit longer and he was given the chance to prove he wasn't useless.

He could condemn himself to Hell and still fight evil.

Azazel was forced completely out, disappearing into the floorboards. John coughed pathetically, straining to regain his breath and heart rhythm.

Sam burst through the door, eyes black, "What the Hell happened?!"

Jared sighed lightly, eyes going back to normal and shadow wings fizzling out. He dropped to his knees, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. Sam ran to the man's side, kneeling and taking his face in his hands. Jared smiled at his lover indulgently, enjoying the warmth of his caress.

"Jay? Baby?" Sam thumbed his soulmates cheekbones, curious "What was it?"

"Azazel" Jared breathed "I couldn't use the gun…it possessed John, Sammy. I pulled him out, he's gone and weakened. But not for long."

Sam nodded, standing up and looking around.

"We have to get them to a hospital" Sam stated, looking between Dean and Jensen the most "Right now."

Jared looked over his lover, "Sammy, you're covered in blood."

"It's not mine" Sam stated off-handedly "Go start the Impala, I'll get them."

()

Sam found himself driving everyone to the nearest hospital, "Bad Moon Rising" playing on the radio. He couldn't bother himself to turn it off, not when he had to think of a story to tell the doctors. Sure, he had fake credit cards and such to get them care, but surely someone was going to recognize Jared and Jensen? He would just have to use that old 'bar fight gone wrong' excuse and silence any questions with the couple fifties he had in his wallet.

John was beside him, groaning as he felt the pain his body had been put through the past few hours. Jared was relaxing in the seat behind him, the only one physically unscathed by the mess of the past few days (but he had images to give him nightmares for years.) His father breathed in sharply, eyes clenched shut.

"Look, just hold on, okay? The hospital is ten minutes away" Sam informed him, voice drawling "If you die on the front seat, I'll never get the blood out."

"Oh don't sound so concerned" John spat "Where the hell were you when that thing was taking me for a ride? We missed our chance, Sam!"

"I got distracted killing lesser evil" the younger man replied easily.

"I'm surprised at you, Jared" John looked out the window, but the half-angel could hear a scolding when he got on "Why didn't you kill it? The gun was right there."

"Because we have one bullet, and I…" Jared stopped himself from adding on about what a stupid cause this all seemed to him "I'm not strong enough Holy-wise to kill him. Drawing him out seemed the most logical thing to do to keep you alive."

"I thought we all saw eye-to-eye on this" John growled "Killing this demon comes first. Before me, before everything else."

Sam glanced in the rearview mirror. Dean was leaning against the car door, blood down his chin and bleary eyed. But he had his arm around his lover, holding him as tightly as he dared. Jensen was curled up into Dean's side, crimson staining from his lips down his jaw from a swipe of his hand. A bright purple hand mark was showing on his neck, his shoulder reset by Sam's sure hands. His lip was split, and his eyes were half-lidded as they stared at nothing in particular.

Dean met his brother's eyes, raw.

Then Sam looked over to his lover, catching his tired gaze.

"No sir" Sam shook his head, tisking as his eyes went back to the road "Not before everything."

John growled under his breath, looking back out the window.

"Oh quit pouting" Sam sneered "We have the Colt, we killed two of his children, we've got one bullet, and we're all alive. Best of all, I have his energy signature now."

"You what?" John turned back to his son, eyes wide.

"Signature, each demon has one. Hell, each angel and fallen angel and spirit has one unique to them. When Azazel used his power on you guys, it left traced of himself on you" Sam tapped his temple "I have it ingrained now. I can track him down on a whim, I can even feel him right now."

His dad opened his mouth, but Sam cut him off, "No way, Dad. Not tonight. Not even this week."

John snapped his jaw shut, the youngest Winchester turned the car onto the main road that led to the hospital he was looking for.

"Things are being set in motion, this is all going to end very soon" Sam assured his father "We're going to get stitched up, we're getting out of this town as soon as we can, and then I'm holing us all up at Bobby's for at least two weeks."

"Sammy-!"

"_Two weeks_, Dad" Sam commanded.

"Oh, what?" John breathed, disbelief in his voice and in his eyes "You get some fancy powers, and you think you can boss me around?"

Sam looked over, tongue-in-cheek, "You wanna get out and walk in the dead of night with no weapons and probably some broken bones?"

John made a face, "Nothing's broken."

"It will be" Sam's eyes flashed.

"God, Sam, you're a bastard, you know that?" John spat, but there was no real malice in his words…just pure exhaustion.

"Yeah, well I've been called far worse by far better people" Sam pulled into the parking lot, killing the engine "Come on, Jay, help me with those two back there."

()()()

The hospital released them all after three days, Sam and Jared had hung around in a nearby hotel until all three of the others could go. Everyone was bandaged up from head to foot, and Jensen had been packed down in ice for the first day just to keep the swelling down. No one needed surgery, but stitches were passed out like candy.

Of course, John had protested profusely at being treated like a child. But Sam wasn't going to let his dad go off on his own and probably get killed, Dean would never forgive him for it. In that hospital, if Dean wasn't begging to see Jensen then he was demanding to see his father. Jared had gone back to the warehouse and got John's truck, replacing the tires.

With Sam in the Impala and Jared in said truck, they made their way to Bobby's.

The morphine kept all three men placid for two more days, Jared taking over as their nurse maid while Bobby kept Sam from going out and hunting down the demon himself. After the first day and some arguing, he agreed to stay put until all of them had enough time to heal.

On the third day, Jared weened them all off their medications. John bitched as soon as he was lucid, but soon knew that he couldn't have changed what happened from his position.

Bobby was outside trying to train his new puppy, but the dog was too sweet for a Bloodhound. Jared and Sam were in the living room, the half-angel reading and the other staring into the fire.

Sam glanced over at his lover, fingers folded in front of his mouth, "I forgot to ask…did Azazel spell wear off you?"

Jared simply nodded, eyes on the words.

"You don't seem too pleased with me."

Jared's eyes flickered up for a second, "What's there to be displeased about?"

The Winchester cocked his head, "Nothing, I thought. You know I would have been there if I could have. There were demons that could've followed us, I took care of them."

"I know" Jared sighed as if he were bored, flicking the page and reading the first few lines "…that doesn't explain the crimson stain I saw around your mouth."

Hazel eyes widened, "Jay-"

"You've forgiven me for a lot, Sammy" Jared's tone was warm, but he couldn't bring his eyes up "I don't care what you were doing, honest. I'm sure whatever you did was for the best."

Sam raised a brow, "I sense a 'but' coming."

The actor did look up at this, a worried expression marring his features, "Just answer me this, Sam. I don't care how girly it is, just answer it for me."

"What?"

Jared chewed his lower lip, "Do you still genuinely love me? As much as you ever did?"

Sam lowered his fingers, smile sincere, "More, even."

"Even if I wasn't an angel?"

This threw Sam off, "Of course."

Jared seemed to want to add more, but went back to his book instead.

There was a movement in the doorway, a wheezy breath.

Sam shot out of his chair, "Dean? What the hell, man?"

Dean was barely standing in the doorway, naked except for a pair of cut off jeans and some bandages.

" 'M fine" Dean slurred, looking around groggily "Where's Jensen?"

"He's upstairs, in a separate room" Jared tried to keep the worry out of his voice "Dean, go back to bed. You've got stitches."

"Jensen was almost _raped_" Dean spat the word, his eyes now lucid "Let me see him."

Jared stood as well, approaching without fear, "Go back to bed."

"Please, Jay" Dean gave the man his best kicked-kitten look, even fluttering his eyes a bit "Just…let me sleep in the same bed as him? That's all I ask, I swear."

The honey-haired youth raised a brow, "That's _all_?"

"Come on, man, I'm drivin' myself crazy up there worryin' over him" Dean sighed in defeat, leaning completely against the doorframe now "I want to know he's there, touch him…I'm not going to bust our stitches. I'm just tired…I need my Jenny to sleep."

"Come on, you stubborn-ass hunter" Jared carefully eased the muscles arm over his shoulder "Lean into me. I'll take your weight. Let's get you upstairs…be careful."

The nursemaid garble came out of his mouth in a flow as he helped Dean Winchester up the stairs, looking him over to make sure he hadn't torn his stitches.

Jensen woke up about half a minute before the door opened, blinking dumbly at the sunlight that flittered through the window and down upon the coverlet. He found himself in one of Bobby's two spare rooms, and even this one had many books piled in the corner along with what looked like the engine to a Mustang.

The door swung open, revealing Jared not even struggling with Dean's bulk.

"You've got a visitor, Jense" Jared led the hunter over to the bed "You up for it?"

"Yeah" Jensen managed, nodding and shifting over to make room. The cool of the wall pressed against his bare shoulder, chilling him, causing him to shiver. Then his lover's warm weight was poured into the space next to him, making it that more bearable.

"Hey Jen" Dean carefully snuck a hand beneath the covers, laying it over the firm chest of the other. Jensen's heartbeat was slow and strong against his palm. It was a relief after two days of being fitful and drugged, the morphine making him even more paranoid about where Jensen was. That, and he wanted to make sure Jensen was as far away from his dad as possible.

Dean knew it hadn't been his dad, but the images that had been torturing him since the attack.

"Dee?" Jensen's voice was raw.

They both ended up with several wounds. Dean was sure he had a slight concussion, and his torso was pretty cut up. Some minor bruises even, and he had dozens of stitches in his chest. His dad ended up with two gashes on his face and stitches, some pretty thick bruises along his back, and a fractured forearm.

But Jensen…Jensen had taken the brunt of Azazel's wrath. One cracked rib, the rest of them tender and raw to the touch. Dislocated shoulder, though even popped back into place it was circled by discoloration. He had some brilliant bruises on his chest, and a single cut along the bridge of his nose. His trachea was bruised, you didn't have to be a doctor to see the dark violet handprint on his neck. He hadn't said more than a word at a time in all the time they'd been back.

In Jensen's defense, he had been doped up to the gills.

To feel Jensen's heartbeat beneath his palm…it eased his mind.

"Shh, honey" Dean nosed the slighter man's shoulder, sighing contently "I had to see you for myself. I've been having these fucked up nightmares…I had to make sure you were ok."

"Dee…" Jensen's voice was hoarse, pained.

"Don't, your throat is pretty bad" Dean got comfortable on the mattress "Give it time."

"Castiel" Jensen managed, he had to speak "Was that…bastard serious? Could Castiel have…been with…that fallen angel once?"

"Maybe" Dean answered honestly, unsure "I'm not sure the rules angels are under, but…Cass was kind of a rebel like that. If anyone could do it, it'd be him."

Jensen sniffled, and the Winchester lifted his head to peer into his face. Tears shimmered down his cheeks in silvery trails, it made his chest ache for a whole different reason.

"Honey, don't cry" Dean gently thumbed the drops away "It's going to be ok."

"Oh God" Jensen rasped, bringing his hand up and covering his mouth in an attempt to stifle a sob "Please…tell me we…"

"Jen?"

Emerald eyes fluttered shut, shielding the sorrow there.

"We d-didn't make Castiel slaughter his own lover…did we?"

Dean knew he couldn't reply without giving the man a lie, "I'm sorry, Jensen."

"It's true…I thought h-he was just busy…" Jensen felt his throat was ready to bleed "But…Castiel's never coming back for me, is he?"

Jensen turned his head into Dean's shoulder, breathing in his scent, "He's abandoned me."

All Dean could do was nuzzle him back and give silent comfort.

Dean really was the only one watching out for him now.

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about us (It's all about us)**_


	58. Chapter 58

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {58-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards. I definitely do not own Ryan, I swear. He is his own, I am just using his image.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!!

_

* * *

__Dean knew exactly where he was._

_Whether he was dreaming or not was a whole 'nother thing._

_He was in his house -their old house- in Lawrence. Everything here was the same. The color, the furniture, the damn air smelled the same. It was the fragrance of jasmine, his mother used to go through boxes of this type of incense a week to make the house smell nice. How did he recall this? The first time you chew on an incense stick is the last, and you never forget it. _

"_Looks can be deceiving, sweetheart" his mother had said to him, her face clear in his mind._

_Dean was standing in the living room, observing. Daylight shone through the gossamer curtains, leaving steaks on the cream carpet. It was cool in here, just the right temperature._

_Why was he here?_

_Something about Jensen…_

_Of course._

_Nowadays, everything in his life seemed to revolve around Jensen._

"_Dean…you came."_

_Dean turned around so fast his head spun. That voice…_

_Sam was standing there. But…it couldn't be Sam. Not his Sammy._

_Sam was wearing a long sleeved, crimson silk shirt. It hung loose on his frame, though bound down tightly by thick leather armlets on his forearms. Black jeans, though loose enough to be battle ready. He looked so much older than his twenty-seven years, broader and thicker. Those eyes…_

_Not a hint of hazel in their inky depths. _

"_Sammy" Dean found the air getting more humid by the second "What are you doing here?"_

"_I brought you here" Sam replied, voice a shade too dark for his taste "I…have a business proposition."_

_The older man's brow creased, "What do you mean?"_

_Sam's lips quirked in mild amusement, "Oh, I think you know."_

_Dean shook his head, he had an idea._

"_I won't do it, Sam."_

"_Yes you will" the younger Winchester assured him "You'll be my second. Think of the power you'll have, what we could do! It'd just be us, like you always wanted."_

_Dean continued to shake his head, trying to deny this was even happening._

_Sam narrowed his eyes at this, all amusement gone._

_When Dean blinked, Jensen appeared at Sam's side. He had his head bowed in submission, on his knees, with Dean's own leather jacket covering his torso and nothing else._

_Sam reached down idly, petting his head._

"_I'll fight dirty if I have to, big brother" Sam all but purred, clearly amused by the look of terror that crossed the older Winchester's face "Unlike you, I'm willing to sacrifice everything for what I want. You'd rather sacrifice yourself."_

_Sam's voice took on this earnest, optimistic tone, "But you'll learn, Dean. It'll be perfect."_

_Dean's eyes danced between them both, "And if I refuse?"_

_This was now what Sam wanted to hear._

"_If you refuse, then…"_

_Jensen's head lifted up, eyes pure black._

()

"No" Dean gasped, eyes snapping open.

Dean went into instant attack mode, ignoring the way his movements pulled at the stitches on his chest. He sat up on his elbow, his back to the wall and his eyes going all over the room.

Jensen was asleep soundly next to him, golden lashes fluttering against his skin. The freckles on his face were much more noticeable now from being in the sun so much, accentuating his natural beauty. Jensen would kick his ass if he ever said that outside of sex, but it was true.

Just when he was going to relax, he spotted Sam in the doorway. He was leaning against the frame, large body taking up the entire space. His brother seemed amused by the way his breath caught in his chest.

"What's wrong, big brother?" Sam was teasing him, the bastard fuckin' knew what he had been dreaming of "Have a nightmare?"

"Maybe" Dean's eyes flickered to Jensen, his heart beating a mile a minute in his chest.

Sam cocked his head to the side, as if he were genuinely curious and concerned, "Do you remember what it was about?"

"No, man" Dean lied, his arm coming out to rest over his lover's hip protectively "I guess it wasn't that important."

"Yeah, I guess" Sam shrugged, then disappeared into the house.

Dean sighed in relief, curling himself around his lover as tightly as he dared allow himself. Jensen shifted beneath him a little bit, brow creasing at the sudden warmth.

"Dee?"

"Go back to sleep" Dean kissed his shoulder "We're ok, we're safe. I promise."

Jensen drifted back to sleep, oblivious.

Dean wasn't sure how long he could keep that promise.

()()()

It was two weeks before they were all able to get up and walk around.

John found out straight away that his oldest son wasn't going to let him within five feet of Jensen without a fight. Every time he got close, Dean would subtly put himself between them.

John cornered his son one day, trying to look serious even with his arm in a sling.

"Dean, that was Azazel in me" John assured him "I didn't want to hurt Jensen."

"I know" Dean replied stiffly.

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen clearly" John began gruffly, annoyed "I'm not harboring some secret hard-on for the kid, ok? So quit being a bitch about it."

Dean nodded.

It was still another week before he was aloud to be in the same room alone with Jensen.

()()()

Five weeks after the encounter with Azazel, they all gathered together in the living room.

"Oh, so let's start this…" John began "Well all agree we got royally fucked over, right?"

"Hell yeah" Dean agreed whole-heartedly "But we still have one bullet left."

"And I can track him now" Sam added "Give me one hour, and I can pinpoint his exact location."

"Good, good" John looked down at his bruised forearm, much better than it had been now that the bone had healed "This didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be. This wasn't supposed to happen. When I caught Azazel's trail and called you, I thought we'd end up like this….only with his blood on our hands."

"Sorry, John" Bobby said sincerely, clapping a hand on the man's shoulder "But ou all got out alive, that means you can try again."

John nodded.

Jared raised his eyes from the carpet, leaning against the windowsill, "How do you wan to play this out, John?"

"I'd rather go in alone…" John saw the searing looks thrown at him and cringed "But, if I learned anything, it's that we're stronger together and all that crap."

Jared blinked at him owlishly, "Then you're going to let us come this time?"

"Yeah, kid, I am."

"Good" Jensen snarled "I owe that bastard a swift kick in the teeth."

"Maybe it isn't the best thing…you coming with me" Sam protested mildly.

"Excuse me?" Dean and John chimed in together.

"I think I should go alone."

As soon as the words left Sam's lips, he knew he made a mistake. He received a round of the same intense looks his dad had gotten, and knew he had lost whatever battle he had tried to start.

Sam sat back in his chair, holding his hands up in defeat, "Ok, ok. I'm sorry. It's going to take all of us to take him down."

//What a bunch of bullshit// Sam mentally complained, crossing his arms and letting his eyes wonder towards the ceiling //Fine. Some of you are going to be hurt, maybe killed…but I tried. My conscious is clear.//

John leaned forward off the couch, eyes blazing, "This is what I'm thinking will go down…"

()()()

It didn't take Sam long to track Azazel once Jared and Bobby decided they were all healed enough for another go. It was the acme of foolishness to go after him so soon, but the Winchesters were never known to wait around when a vendetta needed to be fulfilled.

Apparently, Azazel wasn't one to wait around either. Not even a month later and he had already chosen a new kid, a new family, a new set of victims. Not even a state away either. Sam and Jared shared a vision of this, of a petite red haired woman being dragged up a wall…across a ceiling, then gutted. Another helpless baby, Azazel was planning to stain another.

They arrived in front of the house just after midnight, John's truck following the Impala. They parked on the street to the far right, out of sight but within view of the house. Lights shut off, engines died. John came out of his truck first, followed by the younger men.

"Ok, pistols full of those blessed rounds" John loaded his own pistol "Sam, take the Colt. We're only going to have one shot."

"These guns aren't going to do anything" Jensen pointed out, though he didn't hesitate to load his own.

"I'm not going in there without some kind of weapon" John grumbled "We need something. It won't kill 'im, but it might slow him down."

"I'll take the Colt" Sam pulled said gun out of the trunk, cradling it's heavy weight between his palms "I'll hang back, keep a eye out for him."

"When you've got your shot, take it son" John gave him a hard look "You hear me? No matter what, take it when you have it."

Sam nodded obediently, but he had his own plan.

Everyone took a handgun and a flask of holy water, knowing nothing else would even make a dent on Azazel. They crossed a yard and a street to get to the house that Sam and Jared had seen, a large two story with white-washed walls. It was stuck in the middle of a nice neighborhood, scattered with playpens, SUV's, and street lamps on every corner.

They stopped at the sidewalk.

"Jared, you come with me and we'll take the back" John rattled off "Dean, take your brother and Jensen through the front door. Find him, you hear me?"

Dean nodded, "Ok. Let's go."

Sam gave his lover a meaningful look, then the groups split up.

Dean didn't even have to do much, the door was unlocked.

"Shit, they're begging for it" Jensen muttered.

They entered the home, guns ready. It was pretty large for a single child family, and two stories didn't help. Dean made a quick strategical decision, even though he didn't like it.

"Ok" he breathed out, voice low "You two take the downstairs, check for the nursery. I'll be upstairs in the hall. Come up when you have the area cleared."

They nodded, splitting up again.

_**TBC**_

_**It's all about love (It's all about us)**_


	59. Chapter 59

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {59-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Azazel is highly out of context

* * *

Sam made sure his brother was completely up the stairs before he followed Jensen, his expression grave.

Jensen led the way with his gun raised, trying to keep his breaths even. He peeked around one corner, empty kitchen. There were several bedrooms down here, past the living room and towards the side of the house. He could feel Sam behind him, ready as well. Jensen started easing open the doors one by one, cautious each time.

"Maybe he's not here yet?" Jensen whispered after the second empty bedroom "Aren't there supposed to be flashing lights and surges? What if we're too early?"

"He'll be here in a few minutes" Sam stated off-handedly "I saw the time in my vision."

Jensen paused, back still to the Winchester, "Then why did you tell us it was earlier?"

Sam didn't lie, "I needed time."

Jensen took in a calm breath, "The nursery isn't down here at all, is it?"

"…no."

"And you knew that?"

"Yes."

Jensen tightened his grip on his gun, "You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

"No" Sam replied truthfully, lowering the gun "But if you're going to get in my way right now, I will take you down."

Jensen knew that whatever was going to go down, it was going to go down here very soon. He had to pick a side now. Sam was right behind him, and the only thing in front of him was an empty office room. Something had been off for weeks now, and he had held his tongue for as long as possible. Dean was upstairs, alone. Azazel was probably not far behind, do to arrive any moment.

"Don't do this, Sam" Jensen whispered "Dean's upstairs, if he knows what you're doing…"

"It's going to be over sooner than you think, Jen" hazel eyes faded black "Don't worry."

Before Jensen could turn around and aim his gun, he was tossed forward. The gun flew from his hand, and he landed headfirst into the desk. His skull cracked off the edge sharply, causing his vision to spin. The Texan crumpled against the solid wood, blinking dully at the floor.

Sam walked over, touching the older man's forehead, "You're going to be my leverage for Dean…I need you safe for now."

Jensen's eyes fluttered shut, he dropped limply to the carpet.

Without a hint of regret, Sam left the room and locked him inside.

()

Dean started when he heard someone come up the stairs so soon, whipping around and pointing his gun. He braced his gun hand with his opposite wrist, lining up his shot for the top of the stairs.

Sam appeared, he dropped his gun to his side with a sigh.

"Damn, Sammy" Dean kept his voice low "Ya scared me."

"Sorry" Sam had still had the Colt in his fist "Nothing down there, the nursery must be up here."

Dean glanced at the stairs, "Where's Jensen?"

"He found the parents room" the youngest Winchester lied easily "He's trying to explain it to them, get them outside and safe."

Dean watched on cautiously as his brother walked past him, towards a back bedrooms down the hall.

"What the hell are you doing, Sam?"

"What?" Sam turned around, brow creased.

"When we face Azazel, are you really going to kill him?" Dean questioned.

"Of course I am."

"Really?" Dean countered hotly "Cause I got this gut feeling that you have some hidden agenda here. If you're in league with him or something-"

"I would never partner up with that trash" Sam spat "I'm above that, Dean, and you know it."

"What are you trying to pull, then?" Dean snapped, frustrated.

"Something beyond your comprehension" his younger brother replied simply "I'm going to make things as they should be. I'm going to fix…_everything_. And if a few innocents get hurt along the way, isn't it worth it?"

"No…no way, Sammy, you've fuckin' lost it" Dean brought up his gun, pain tugging at his heart for aiming at his little brother "Give me the gun."

Sam chuckled cynically, "No way."

"Give it to me, Sam!" Dean demanded "I should have seen this coming…you've gone Darkside, haven't you?"

The younger man didn't answer.

"Haven't you?!"

"You're going to help me, you just don't know it yet" Sam sounded as if he were trying to convince himself instead "I can do this without you…but I don't want to, Dean."

Dean's hesitancy was all Sam needed, he struck out with his mind. Dean was knocked off his feet, landing smack into a side table against the wall. His weight crushed it, but the pain didn't affect his shot. He aimed perfectly, popping off two muted rounds.

Sam's eyes went black once more, the silver bullets stopped inches from his face.

"You're not ready, I get that" Sam sighed, a little crestfallen by this fact.

The lights flickered once, then twice. Jade eyes went wide at this, an unmistakable taste of sulfur in the air.

"He's here."

"Where's Jensen?" Dean hissed "What did you do with him?"

Sam brushed the suspended pellets away from his face, "I'm keeping him locked up as my bargaining chip."

Dean lunged at him with these words, going for his waist to take him down. Sam was having none of that, giving the older man one good palm strike to the chin to daze him. But he wasn't fazed for long, just long enough for Sam to twist him and catch him by the throat. Ignoring the elbow that lodged into his gut, the younger Winchester pressed his forearm to his brother's throat and tightened the grip with the other.

Dean fought him the whole way, lashing out at him with a one-minded fury. He kicked out, catching the wall with his foot and knocking his brother hard into the opposite wall. But Sam didn't release him, only tightened his grip and held him fast.

"Don't fight it, Dean" Sam mumbled, listening to his brother's desperate gasps for air "When you wake up, it'll be over. It won't be your fault, cause I'm not giving you a choice. I'm not giving you a chance to ladle more guilt onto yourself."

Dean's eyes rolled into the back of his head, blunt fingernails leaving deep red welts in the other's flesh.

Sam leaned into the morbid embrace, lips brushing the older man's ear, "Soon, big brother, you'll only be filled with macabre delight and power."

Dean went limp in his arms, eyes shut and limbs loose. Sam held on for those few extra seconds, he had to make sure his brother wasn't faking it. When he was positive, he laid Dean down on the floor and stood. Sam took the Colt off the floor, letting it's solid weight burn into the palm of his hand.

This was it, this was what he had been waiting for all this time.

()

Screw the niceties.

Sam blew in the door with his mind…shrapnel coating the floor. He stepped inside, the Colt raised and ready at the crib. He was not expecting what he saw, and it almost through him off balance. A man around 5'10", short dark graying hair, yellow eyes, lean, pale skin. He was wearing a duster and leather gloves, bright yellow eyes catching the light.

"Azazel" Sam smirked "So this is your true form."

"Well, boy, we can't all have the good looks God gave you" Azazel snarked back, clearly displeased.

"I can't believe you're already trying to recruit more of your sick creations" Sam glanced at the crib "So soon after my Jared expelled you from John?"

"Oh, calling him _John_? You're cold boy" Azazel sized him up "And don't forget, you're one of my children whether you like it or not."

"I'm here to kill you" Sam chuckled humorlessly "To make _amends_ for what I've become."

Azazel glanced at the gun, "I can phase right through that. I've done it before, I can do it again."

"Not this time" Sam's eyes bled ebony "Not if I can help it."

The demon did try to get away, his very outline shimmering and quaking. He lost his balance, staggered forward two steps, then froze with a hand to his chest. He blinked at the Winchester, fear registering on his face for the first time in a long while.

"You cannot hold me here" his voice was booming, commanding even "You have no right! You cannot use the powers _I gave_ _you_ against me!"

"Not all this power is yours" Sam cocked his head menacingly "But it is all mine."

"No matter what you sucked from your whore, I still gave you your gift" Azazel was clawing for hope now, backing away "You cannot use it to destroy me."

"What else is it good for?"

"Samuel, listen for just a moment…" Azazel held out his hand, as if to will the man to comply "I can teach you more than you realize. I can help you harness this power, use the half-angel to his fullest extent. I can help your plans succeed. Together, we can rule."

"I don't need your help" Sam countered evenly "I need your life. See, I found out this bit a while ago. If I kill you…the limit to my power disappears."

Azazel's fuckin' face turned ashen at this, "I…I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do, Scum" Sam wrinkled his nose in distaste "As long as your alive, I am bound by my own powers. With Jared's blood, I can do many things. I can override other demons' abilities, I can cast them back to Hell on a whim, I can take their strength…I can draw it from the blood of their very vessel. But what I can't do…I can't kill them yet. Now I have one question before I kill you…"

"Sam!" John rounded the corner into the room, wide-eyed with his gun drawn "Kill him! Take the shot!"

Sam growled low in his throat, flames licking at the edges of his vision.

John was caught by invisible steel hooks, yanked so hard to the right his gun flew from his hand. His landed headfirst into the wall, but he took the blow at a wrong angle and there was a name. He crumpled lifelessly onto the hardwood floor. His chest was still, and his neck was in splinters. Glassy, dull eyes observed the scene from the spot…face a mask of perfect surprise.

Azazel looked upon the boy's father, a mix of both pride and fear in his yellow eyes, "You just…"

"As I was saying: I have a question for you" Sam stated pointedly, not letting the demon look away from him as he held him still "Will your blood double the efficiency of your death like I theorize?"

"I…" Azazel snapped his gaping jaw shut, narrowing his eyes "And why should I give you any information, you half-breed brat? I know you won't let me leave alive, no matter what I say."

"True" Sam drew the hammer back on the Colt, the pure ebony of his eyes catching the light menacingly "But either don't tell me and die in vain, or tell me…and I'll make the dream you had come true. It'll have a my twist to it, of course."

Azazel sighed deeply, "_Yes_."

A honey crop of hair and Nile green eyes peeked out from around the corner, frightened.

"Well" the demon sneered "If it isn't the half-angel bitch himself."

Sam didn't have to turn to feel his lover's presence, "Go downstairs, Jared, I'll take care of this."

But Jared's eyes were on John and locked there. He slowly entered the room, approaching the oldest Winchester cautiously. He knelt down, feeling the man's neck for a pulse. He shivered in disgust at the way the flesh gave way beneath his fingers, bone shattered. There was the barest of blood at the corner of his gaping mouth, shock etched in his features.

//Dear God, what did I let happen?// Jared stood, fingers to his lips.

"Jared!" Sam snapped "Get out of here!"

"John's dead" Jared's breath was catching "I can't find Jensen. Dean's unconscious out in the hall."

"It was necessary, baby" Sam assured him, decocking the gun and letting it hang at his side.

"_Necessary_?" the slighter man was almost hysteric "Your father's dead!"

"He got in the way" before the words were out, Azazel tried to phase out. A flex of Sam's power secured the demon in place, forcing him to gasp and grasp at his chest again.

Sam turned to his lover, gesturing outward, "Do you see what I can do? The only reason Azazel remains here, restrained, is because of me. Because of what you did for me."

"No, Sam, this isn't you" Nile green eyes teared up "You're not like this."

"Jared, _please_" but Sam drew himself back from pleading, taking a deep breath "Just wait. You'll see what I can do, what I _will_ do. Once you see the control I have over those other demons, you'll join me. All of us…together."

"Nothing good can come of this" Jared glanced at Azazel, the irises of his eyes glowing faintly. He stepped up to Sam, running a hand down his arm to end with his fingers playing with the curve of their bracelet.

"Jay?"

"Why don't we get out of here? Just…leave" Jared smiled up at him warmly "We can go anywhere, do anything. We're young, we've got money. Let's forget all this."

Sam was tempted, truly he was.

But he had to steel himself against the sweet temptation.

"This is who we are now" Sam stated "This is who I am now."

Jared stepped away, farther back and towards the door.

"Jared?" Sam almost physically reached out for him, eyes still pitch "I'll keep you safe, at my side. Everything will be ok."

Jared shook his head, swallowing thickly past his tears.

"If this is who you are…" a lone tear slipped down his cheek, backing up through the doorway "Then I don't know you at all."

Jared disappeared down the hall, lost to him.

Azazel laughed in his face, "Seems like your whore doesn't want anything to do with the new you."

"He'll learn" Sam turned back on the demon, fire flickering in the depths of his eyes "They'll all learn. With your death and blood, I'll make the whole world learn."

"Why?" Azazel was whining now, his life flashing before his eyes and all that "Out of all the things you want to do with your power…why this?"

"I've never had anything of my own before, never belonged anywhere" Sam's voice dropped to a rasp, heart aching "I was always different, looked at down noses and out of the corner of eyes."

Sam raised the Colt, determined, "From now on, people will have no choice but to look at me head on. They'll take my glory in full, or not at all."

"You won't do it" Azazel lifted his chin, sneering "You don't have the balls to go through with this plan. You're just a scared little boy, you always have been. So low, even your bitch won't touch you."

Sam cocked back the hammer, tone mocking, "Goodbye, _Father_."

"Samuel! You can't do this to me! To the world!"

"Watch me."

Sam squeezed the trigger.

_**TBC**_

_**In you I can trust (It's all about us)**_


	60. Chapter 60

**Title**: One Soul Condemned To Heaven And Hell {60-60}  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Supernatural/RPS  
**Pairings**: Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen, Castiel/Ryan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own the souls of J2, or Sam…or Dean…or anyone…not even my own *le sigh* It's all Kripke and McG, the lucky bastards.  
**Beta**: gil_follower  
**Warnings**: Post-Hell!Dean, very AU, SLASH!!, post-Season 3, Demon!Sam (sort of), whumping, angst, OOC-ness, wing-kink, SPOILERS!!!! Really bad angst

**(AN:** Azazel's death did not release hundreds of demons, it released _thousands_ of powerful demons.**)**

* * *

It took one year.

12 months... 52 weeks... 365 days... 8760 hours... 525,000 minutes... 31,536,000 seconds...

In the end, it only took one year for the world to burn.

Upon Azazel's death, a kind of gate was broken. Not a seal, per sey, but something just as powerful. With his death, thousands of demons burst free from Hell and roamed freely upon the Earth. But before their mayhem-frolic could start, someone was there to meet them at the door.

Samuel Winchester rounded these demons, ensnarling them in their own hate and greed with promises of a human-enslaved world. Those he could not convinced were slaughtered immediately, which led to the loyalty of those too weak or too scared to take on the man. Not even two months, and he had the loyalty of every demon that was cast from Hell. It was not as hard as one would think, 96% of the demons were very apt to a master who kept a tight rein but gave them enough freedom to soothe their primal needs.

Not to mention, with Azazel's blood in his belly and with his new lack of limitations, Samuel could snap necks with a thought and smack any demon down that crossed him.

Three months, and he had his fuckin' army.

Certain people were taken care of before the human race.

Ruby was one of the first to die, though deemed so low as to be taken out by one of Sam's generals.

Alastair was ripped limb from limb over and over with the cheers of his fellow demons in his ears, life taken by Sam's hands in a display of power to his demon army.

Lilith, once Sam learned from Alastair would release Lucifer himself upon her demise, was merely imprisoned in the depths of the Earth with round-the-clock guards. She did try to escape several times. That is, until Sam not-so-kindly informed her it was either be imprisoned and tortured on earth or be imprisoned and tortured in Hell. When she spat out that Hell was the better option, Sam pulled out all the tops.

Lilith ended up entrapped in her own vessel hooked up to wires, unable to move or interact with the world around her. Couldn't blink, speak, or breath. All she could do was live.

Once all major threats were eliminated, the humans were dealt with.

Of course, it is not within the human nature to bow down to demons (of all things.) Before they openly started, the demon army took out all military bases. All special ops teams, all missile plants, all human power was taken care of in only two days. Demon's swept over the Earth, having permission from their new master to destroy any and all who appeared to be a threat to the grand scheme.

With Sam's hunter knowledge, all objects that could be used against them were plucked up and locked away deep within the Winchester's home base.

Before the week was out, humans were defenseless and only had a faint idea that something was wrong.

Sam used technology for himself, broadcasting his message to the world. Of course, people rebelled. Hell, almost everyone went into an uproar over it. Then Sam, through a demonstration of power, showed them exactly what would happen if they didn't comply.

Millions of humans died in the next six months just to prove a point.

Under the guide of Samuel Winchester, the demons beat the humans into submission. Out of the nearly 8 billion people that had populated earth, barely 3 billion survived. Higher up demons were given cities as gifts, humans mere pets for their pleasure. Small towns usually remained safe, but traveling became almost nonexistent. Old style trains were the only mean besides the rare car, for demons found great pleasure in fucking with the subway system and knocking over busses.

It would remind someone of Germany between World Wars, ruled over by a modern day Hitler.

All hunters were hunted down and slaughtered in those months. But there were pockets of rebels led by any hunters that got away, mostly small groups. Sam found them faintly amusing, but no matter what he did he could never strike them all down at once. They kept rebuilding, for more babies were birthed everyday.

There were parts of the world Sam couldn't touch, and there were

Why was Sam allowed to rise to fame so quickly? Where were his friends to stop him?

They were on the run.

The day of Azazel's death, Jared knew he couldn't do anything more and left. Thankfully, he had been able to wake up Dean and get Jensen out of the room downstairs. Together they quickly agreed, as soon as he heard the shot and the screaming, to get the hell out of Dodge. They took the Impala and left, driving until the tank ran out. They siphoned when they could, laid low when the demon swell got too much, and helped out who they thought they could save. Thanks to Jared's half-angel skills and some protective circles from the Key of Solomon (it had been left it the trunk), they stayed out of the demonic public eye.

But they weren't stupid…to go around killing demons would only attract unwanted attention.

Sam had let them go, he had needed the time to build up his power without any weaknesses.

But now he was ready, and he wanted them back.

Jensen had been captured first, found alone in a convenience store with the other two not even a hundred feet away filling up the car. Jared and Dean had gotten away by the skin of their teeth, but not for long. Leaving Jared holed up in what they had thought was a safe house, he went to try and get back his lover.

He was captured bleeding and unconscious, but alive.

()

Demon generals. Real life, fuckin' demon generals.

Jared found himself dragged into an underground base, a little bruised but otherwise unharmed. Two demon-possessed humans were holding him by his arms and leading him along. They were powerful, he could sense it, and he had been greatly outnumbered. When Dean hadn't returned, he had made the mistake of leaving the safe house.

No sooner had he done that…more than a dozen demons had swarmed down upon him.

Jared knew he could take out one of these guys, but they were generals and there were two. That, and the longer he waited, the deeper he got into this complex. It reminded him of the SGC from _Stargate SG-1_, only with less technology and more groups of demons hanging about and conversing. They drank, they played with the occasional human toy, they trained, they plaid strange games that involved spikes and knives.

It was disgusting, really.

Jared knew where he was going, and the end was a lot safer than the journey. Many eyes fell upon him, all could see him for what he really was. The looks ranged from hungry to hateful, but always on him. It was mostly for the half-angel thing, but for those who didn't know who he was it was strange to see someone with the Master's face.

They arrived at a large, ebony-embedded door. It was intimidating, to say the least. One of the generals let him go long enough to push open the door, revealing the room inside. Jared was pushed farther inside, the door shutting with one general standing guard on the outside and the other inside. Backs to the door, looking fit and fierce, stone-walling the exit.

The room was dome-ceiling-ed, tall walled, and ebony tile floored. There were a half-dozen more generals inside, standing along the wall. Some looked human, some not at all. They all radiated power, eyes red to indicate how high up they were on the demon food chain.

There, in the middle, a throne of sorts. Leather cushioned, plush. Upon that throne?

"Sam?" Jared breathed, eyes wide. He hadn't seen his lover since all that time ago, when he was holding a gun to Azazel's head and begging him to understand. Sam had put on some more muscle, not that he would need the physical strength. The power poured off him in thick waves, choking the half-angel with it's pungency. The power was unrightfully gained…an assault at birth, Jared's body, his blood, Azazel's death, and built up with more demon blood.

He was dressed like Angelus from _Buffy_, leather pants and a silk shirt. He stood from the chair, dimples flashing when he smiled. He took the steps down from his low pedestal, looking as carefree and happy as he had two years ago.

"Jay, it's so good to see you" Sam came right up to him, like it was nothing "It's been…what? A year? I've missed you every day, baby."

"_You_" Jared spat, anger welling up in him "What have you _done_?"

Sam seemed unaffected by the anger, "I've done what no one else has."

"All this is wrong, and you know it."

"Do you know what would have happened if I wouldn't have interfered?" Sam sneered, clearly displeased "These demons would have been unleashed without a leader, to roam free and torture whoever they came in contact with. Lilith was planning so much more than we realized. She was going to bring about the Apocalypse!"

Jared scoffed weakly, "And how is that any different from what you've done?"

"The world is a big place, and I have many enemies" Sam sighed, displeasure turning to melancholy "Even after a year, there are great enemies lurking and places uncharted. I'll need my family behind me."

"Your family?" something sparked inside Jared "What did you do to the others?"

"Well…" Sam sighed in a nonchalant way.

That kind of off-hand attitude pissed Jared off. Nile green irises shined brightly, his very skin seeming to glow as his power rose.

Sam made a slicing motion through the air, the glow fading abruptly. Jared choked and sputtered, taking a step back and clutching his stomach as if he'd been sucker punched.

"Now isn't a good time to try that, love" Sam tisked "I hold the power here."

One of the generals spoke up, "My Lord, the angel is back."

No sooner were the words spoken, the doors opened.

Jared's head was spinning, "Castiel?"

The angel's clothes were stained in blood that was not his own, eyes cold now as he approached. He took his place at the base of the pedestal, facing them with his hands deep in his pockets.

Sam cocked his head at the angel, "You were successful?"

Castiel's lips quirked in a cynical smile, "More than a dozen of them, _dead_."

"Good" Sam turned back to Jared, enjoying his lover's shocked expression "What? Did you think Heaven abandoned the humans? No, no…they are pissed at what I'd done. They've been trying to save this pathetic world for quite some time."

Jared paled, "The only thing that can kill an angel…is another angel."

"Yeah, Cass decided to join me" Sam shrugged "What can I say? Heaven _really_ fucked him over."

"But you…" Jared met the angel's eyes "Castiel, you can't do this. He was going to kill your lover!"

The raven haired angel's tensed, "I'm taking my revenge on Heaven, Jared. One angel at a time."

"Having Castiel on my side as allowed me to get as far as I have" Sam pointed out "But his help won't be enough to seize complete control. I also need my brother as my second…thanks to my connection with you, I found all three of you in one go."

"What have you done with him?"

Sam chuckled, glancing at Castiel, "He wants to know what we've done with Dean and Jensen."

Castiel looked mildly amused.

"There being held here, being…_reconditioned_, so to speak."

"Dean won't join you" Jared stated with absolute certainty "He's a good man."

"Oh, he'll come around" Sam's eyes flashed "I've got a pretty big bargaining chip."

Jared's breath caught, "Dean wouldn't stand for you hurting Jensen, that'll turn him against you faster than anything else."

"We both know how pretty Jen is, how temping he is" Sam looked so damn smug over this "So does Dean. And if I threaten to let some of the Scum have a taste of him…"

Jared looked to Castiel, "You wouldn't let that, right?"

Castiel tilted his head thoughtfully, "I will…take away all memories of any harm that may come to him as we're convincing Dean to join us."

The half-angel looked between them, "Oh God, you're monsters…both of you."

"Jay…"

"Don't '_Jay_', me" Jared started to walk away, but the man seized his forearm and pulled him back "Let me go, Sam!"

"No."

"Let me go!" the half-angel thrashed, but the grip was firm "What do you want from me?"

"I want your wings" Sam pulled him close, whispering into his ear "Show me your wings, Jay. I miss the sight of them…the way they're darkened for me and only me."

Being this close, Sam's scent washing over him, he couldn't deny him anything. His eyes lit up, his t-shirt and dark overshirt ripping and threading under the force of his wings. The ruined material fell to the ground, several demons looking on in awe as the silky feathers unfolded and caught the light brilliantly.

Jared gave a little gasp against his lover's neck, the ache very faint and disappearing quickly.

"My beautiful angel" Sam breathed, nuzzling the other's cheek "I want you to join me."

Jared pulled away, shaking his head, "I can't, Sam. I just…can't. Everything in me says this is wrong."

Sam frowned at this, "If you're not with me, you're against me. You realize that, don't you?"

"Only evil deals in absolutes."

Before Jared could even contemplate a way to get out of there, Sam lunged. He seized his lover by the throat, backing him up until he hit the nearby wall. He was pushed up it, feet arching to accommodate the height. Sam's eyes were pure pitch now, his grip unforgiving. Jared gasped desperately, his wings thrashing loudly against the solid wall.

The glow of his eyes faded as the Winchester asserted his power, smothering him with it.

"S-Sam…?"

"You _will_ join me" Sam stated, not an inch of yield in his tone "Or have you forgotten just where you are? This place is crawling with demons, and you are a half-angel. You're like candy to these things."

Jared caught a glimpse of silver on his lover's wrist, their bond still there even after all this time.

_Hope_

Sam let him slide back down the wall, staring into his lover's teary eyes, "One word, and they'll _devour_ you

by the handful. I could pass you around like a party favor, and they would simply destroy all that you are. Another word, and they'll keep you alive…but that doesn't mean I can't let them play with you a bit."

Once the Winchester released his throat, Jared crumbled to his knees. His wings drooped dishearteningly, tears slicking his cheeks at the words. He tried not to sniffle and sob, he didn't want to give them the satisfaction. He was highly aware of the demons watching on either side of him, further down the wall and just observing. He felt naked and vulnerable, he started trembling.

This wasn't what he wanted when he sat down in front of Sam in that coffee shop in LA. He never thought it would end up like this, he never wished for any of this. He didn't want to damn the world! Why didn't any of those people warn him? Why had Ryanimay decided to be so cryptic?

Surely someone had seen this coming?

And what had become of everyone he had cared about? What had happened to his family? Jensen's family? Chris? Kripke? Missouri Moseley? Bobby?

Had Sam killed them all?

Jared just nodded, unable to speak past the swelling of his throat.

"You're mine" Sam smiled triumphantly, reaching down and carding his fingers through soft honey hair "I'm going to take care of you now, Jay. Keep you safe in the way I couldn't before. Because I love you."

Jared choked on a sob, "What is left in you to love?"

"Don't be bitter, lovely" the black hadn't receded from his lover's eyes, and he wasn't sure it ever would again. A wide palm settled on the back of his neck, and with a firm pull Jared rose to his feet. Sam took his mouth in a kiss, pressing flush against him.

Jared's wings rustled in protest, but folded behind him in contempt.

The kiss tasted hollow, all passion cold now.

"Come" Sam placed a strong hand in the dip of his lover's back, leading him to a hidden door in the very back of the room. There were symbols burned into it's surface, symbols that lit up when they approached. If Jared red them right, they were there to keep out all demons from this particular area. Sam opened it and slipped them both inside, it slammed shut behind them with just a thought. The hall was made of polished onyx and led to a circular room, a bright blue circle drawn on every inch of the floor.

"I made this room as soon as I found this place" Sam led him down the hall by his arm firmly "I knew you'd come back to me."

"Sam, what are you doing?" Jared's heart sped up "I agreed. I'll do whatever you want, stay by your side, let you have my blood, whatever you need from me."

"Shh, baby, this is just a precaution" Sam turned and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, his cheek, his lips "Until I can trust you to sit at my feet and not run away, you'll just have to stay here. I don't want you broken, but you must yield to me and me alone."

Jared found himself shoved forward. As soon as he passed the line of the circle, he felt every ounce of power he had drained from him. He dropped to his knees, wings limp on the ground. The azure glow bathed him, casting ghostly shadows over his body.

"What is this?" he whispered, not able to manage much more.

"Shh, sweetheart" Sam cooed, though he stood there and did nothing to offer comfort "It's an angelic binding circle. You're going to stay here when I can't watch you every moment. I have a very important gathering soon, and I can't afford you getting any bright ideas while I'm in front of my allies."

Jared gave a pathetic whimper, the blue light burning into his retinas.

Sam knelt down on one knee, reaching out and catching his lover's chin between his thumb and index finger. He lifted his head, those beautiful eyes meeting his own.

"How long you stay here depends on how sweet you'll be for me" Sam informed him, smiling warmly "I love you, Jared."

Sam stood and left without another word or look back, disappearing down the hall and out the door in only a few seconds. Jared felt so weak, all he could do was carefully lay himself out on his side. He curled up his long body in a fetal position, letting his eyes flutter shut so he didn't have to look at the harsh blue light and the darkness of the walls.

If Jared had opened his eyes again, he would have seen the shadows of his darkened wings displayed on the ground. But he could feel the weight draped down across his shoulder, at the bend of his elbow, and could feel the harsh cold of the floor beneath the limb he knew wasn't physically there. If he concentrated hard enough -which only made him dizzy at this point- he could feel the same cold beneath the fold of his other wing while the shadow showed it behind him.

This wasn't what he wanted, this wasn't what he had meant to happen. But he would just have to suck it up and go along with it, and hopefully see Jensen soon. Maybe if he couldn't stop what his lover was doing, he could try to make it up to his best friend. No matter what he said or thought, the siren song of power would eventually get to Dean.

Then both Winchester's would be lost.

Jared dragged his wrist closer with all the energy he had, icy metal touching his trembling lower lip.

…_broken hope_…

Silent tears stained his cheeks.

"…what have I done?"

_**The End**_

_**It's all about us  
(Song: "All About Us" by TATU)**_

**(AN:** Well, that's it. Five months of my life there for you on paper. Things I've seen, experienced, felt…all conducted through these characters. I won't say it was enjoyable, but it truly was consuming. I guess I'll have to go back to the real world now. I hate that it's over, and I'm taken by a fist of melancholy. I don't want it to be over. This was written during my last half of junior year and ended halfway through my summer, so it's a strange time for me. When I started this, I'd barley seen four episodes of _Supernatural_. Now? I own all three seasons and soon I'll own the fourth, and I've seen a lot more than is really healthy. I've also written half a dozen small _Supernatural_ based fics. The day I finished this story (not posted, but finished writing to it) was the day Michael Jackson died. It is ten minutes till midnight, so I can say that. And it's storming, how perfect is that? The thunder's so loud I nearly screamed on that last bout. So here's five months of my life, and I hope you f-ing enjoyed it. I hope someone does.**) **


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